Prime Directive (JHW RP)
Jan 20, 2024 11:46:01 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, ForeverKuroi, and 2 more like this
Post by Dave D-Flipz on Jan 20, 2024 11:46:01 GMT -5
*Our scene opens in an unfamiliar location. The decoration is all over the place. One wall is made to look like a scene from Planet Earth. One wall shows the Pyramids. The ceiling is painted with the bottom of the alien ship from Independence Day. The floor is made to look like a fossil bed with Triceratops bones imbedded in it. The other walls remain out of sight but we see adorable baby puppies wearing collars saying "Too Cute" on them, running around. We hear the sounds of various TV cooks making meals and talking to cameras from behind this camera. On the molding between wall and ceiling is a banner, “Now including HBO MAX! JUST MAX! WE’RE MAX!” From out of the pyramids bursts forth (through the door to the room obviously) a familiar face... to the GUNS faithful. The Discover+ Ancient Alien*
"Well well well, from the bottom of the well well well, Lassie has dragged forth a former foe."
*He grabs the skull of a T-Rex … miniature of course, and holds it up like Hamlet*
"Do you think she is aware? Doth thou think her cosmic third eye hath been revealed? Or is she still … blissfully in the dark? Lost in the void of space, never to get home … until it becomes unprofitable and they replace her with a new IT girl willing to show more skin to the next Hollywood Hot Chris?"
*He frowns and nods his head to the T-rex as he makes it mouth … words?*
"Why yes my ancient friend, she DID just emerge from our domain, the fossily depths of some cosmic other realm. Like an episode of a dinosaur dig show, or Cosmos with Neil DeGrasse Tyson. It does seem like she is treading far into our domain. Why I bet she even met the Pawn STars in that horrible abyss. HAHAHA ooooo yeeeeeesssss oh me oh my …"
*He tosses the skull over his shoulder and bounds to the camera into an odd crouch and holding his palms together to showcase the D+ on his gloves before spreading them to reveal his face. He bites at the camera then smirks and mouths an Oh Ho Ho before cackling wildly.*
"Oh my dear deluded Trekker. You don’t even realize that this … has all … been a cosmic treadmill. Laid out to bring you … mmmm … back to me … BACK TO GUNS … back to where the war began. YOU MAY HAVE FORGOTTEN US … but we have not forgotten -ALIENS!- … you … The wars are already over. While you and Marty went off to race and play … hardkore … WE took control of the HOME of hardcore … or softcore … and HBO MAX has melded with … us. The plan has worked. You have lost. Why …"
*He produces a news release out of seeming thin air and holds it to the camera*
"EVEN YOU are now partially within MY power. All the Star Trek movies … except the shitty Chris Pine ones … are now … POOF! POW! BEAMED OFF OF PARAMOUNT+ … and what’s this? They’ve been rebuilt like the Ship of Theseus … on MAX … MY DOMAIN!"
*He laughs and dances in a janky, unnatural motion. He then flops into sitting crosslegged and lies down in this position, the camera jumps to above him looking down. The lights change as a disco ball star generator begins to spin and send ethereal lights dancing over the Ancient one. Georgio’s favorite pugilist puts a hand to his mouth to stifle a chuckle.*
"And my oh my how I enjoy this scenario. There are two different ways to look at this. One: The Prime Directive! You swear by it to justify your inaction. And yet … Star Fleet … and you … flaunt the breaking of that rule whenever it seems fit! To benefit yourselves, to make yourselves seem more enlightened … to get sex from a man-Gorn-drug addict. Oh yes … we have plenty of shows that follow hoarders and druggies and Flo is a favorite subject. We have… the tapes … of you VIOLATING … *ahem* the “Prime Directive”. You are not FIT to travel these wonderful cosmos! You are not worthy of being a champion. A B-plot, side-piece to a top gear, fossil digs, hoarders group of peons. A failed runaway from the streaming wars, seeking sanctuary in the HARD-CAR worlds. BAHAHAHAHA. You are pathetic. I meanwhile?"
*He sits up and the camera switches back to in front of him as he sits cross-legged and rocks in a circle, rhythmically moving to music only he can hear from a dimension only ancient aliens can access.*
"I support the true nature of the universe. The fabric of reality speaks to us few knowledgeable worthy brains. You… are human … your Star Fleet is a distinctly human creation, expanded to absorb the poor senseless aliens, none of which are real … but humanity wouldn’t BE without … us! TEEHEE WE MADE YOU! We allowed you to flourish faster than should be possible, to see our glorious forms and use our benevolence to inspire your stories of Gods and legends. Anansi, Annanaki, Norse mythology, Egyptian and Greek pantheons, all inspired by OUR visitations, OUR presence, OUR … help. Screw the prime directive, we are the ADVANCED species, let’s … have … fun."
*He pops to his feet and runs around with his fingers in his mouth to bite on as he dances in a circle. He quivers and lets out a sigh laugh combo as he drops to a seat and does the “aliens” meme pose from all those Georgio memes.*
"… … US … …"
*He stands back up and begins to pace wildly around his pyramid, dog, food, alien sanctuary of the odd and demented.*
"You love to deny us. Make the documentaries of us out to be invented, fake. But like the mermaids and unicorns and cryptids in those specials we air … like the ghosts whose hunters we film … We … are … here. And I am here to take your unfounded title and end the streaming wars … FOR GOOD. Soon all will be WBD. All will be back inside the neurological web of the ancient minds and creators. Soon all will see my light. Oh my dear deluded star fleet aficionado. I’m afraid the days of hiding in a dracolich, being shielded in a garage, and playing superstar are quite over. Your parents are coming home and they are not pleased with what you’ve done to the home while we were at the ranch!"
*He grabs the T-rex skull and begins to dance with it as he talks to it*
"The only 'prime directive' is to survive and thrive. Have fun. And acknowledge us. She doesn’t know. My power … is … MAX. And there is only room for one PLUS around here. It is time to return the Trekker to the dwellings of the fossils to be with her dear departed fiend friend. And then we can truly begin the return to the age of the Pyramid Power of the visitors from space. TEEHEE! She is missioned to seek new worlds … where no man has gone before. Too bad at Supremacy all she will find … IS A WORLD OF HURT!"
*Fade out*
"Well well well, from the bottom of the well well well, Lassie has dragged forth a former foe."
*He grabs the skull of a T-Rex … miniature of course, and holds it up like Hamlet*
"Do you think she is aware? Doth thou think her cosmic third eye hath been revealed? Or is she still … blissfully in the dark? Lost in the void of space, never to get home … until it becomes unprofitable and they replace her with a new IT girl willing to show more skin to the next Hollywood Hot Chris?"
*He frowns and nods his head to the T-rex as he makes it mouth … words?*
"Why yes my ancient friend, she DID just emerge from our domain, the fossily depths of some cosmic other realm. Like an episode of a dinosaur dig show, or Cosmos with Neil DeGrasse Tyson. It does seem like she is treading far into our domain. Why I bet she even met the Pawn STars in that horrible abyss. HAHAHA ooooo yeeeeeesssss oh me oh my …"
*He tosses the skull over his shoulder and bounds to the camera into an odd crouch and holding his palms together to showcase the D+ on his gloves before spreading them to reveal his face. He bites at the camera then smirks and mouths an Oh Ho Ho before cackling wildly.*
"Oh my dear deluded Trekker. You don’t even realize that this … has all … been a cosmic treadmill. Laid out to bring you … mmmm … back to me … BACK TO GUNS … back to where the war began. YOU MAY HAVE FORGOTTEN US … but we have not forgotten -ALIENS!- … you … The wars are already over. While you and Marty went off to race and play … hardkore … WE took control of the HOME of hardcore … or softcore … and HBO MAX has melded with … us. The plan has worked. You have lost. Why …"
*He produces a news release out of seeming thin air and holds it to the camera*
"EVEN YOU are now partially within MY power. All the Star Trek movies … except the shitty Chris Pine ones … are now … POOF! POW! BEAMED OFF OF PARAMOUNT+ … and what’s this? They’ve been rebuilt like the Ship of Theseus … on MAX … MY DOMAIN!"
*He laughs and dances in a janky, unnatural motion. He then flops into sitting crosslegged and lies down in this position, the camera jumps to above him looking down. The lights change as a disco ball star generator begins to spin and send ethereal lights dancing over the Ancient one. Georgio’s favorite pugilist puts a hand to his mouth to stifle a chuckle.*
"And my oh my how I enjoy this scenario. There are two different ways to look at this. One: The Prime Directive! You swear by it to justify your inaction. And yet … Star Fleet … and you … flaunt the breaking of that rule whenever it seems fit! To benefit yourselves, to make yourselves seem more enlightened … to get sex from a man-Gorn-drug addict. Oh yes … we have plenty of shows that follow hoarders and druggies and Flo is a favorite subject. We have… the tapes … of you VIOLATING … *ahem* the “Prime Directive”. You are not FIT to travel these wonderful cosmos! You are not worthy of being a champion. A B-plot, side-piece to a top gear, fossil digs, hoarders group of peons. A failed runaway from the streaming wars, seeking sanctuary in the HARD-CAR worlds. BAHAHAHAHA. You are pathetic. I meanwhile?"
*He sits up and the camera switches back to in front of him as he sits cross-legged and rocks in a circle, rhythmically moving to music only he can hear from a dimension only ancient aliens can access.*
"I support the true nature of the universe. The fabric of reality speaks to us few knowledgeable worthy brains. You… are human … your Star Fleet is a distinctly human creation, expanded to absorb the poor senseless aliens, none of which are real … but humanity wouldn’t BE without … us! TEEHEE WE MADE YOU! We allowed you to flourish faster than should be possible, to see our glorious forms and use our benevolence to inspire your stories of Gods and legends. Anansi, Annanaki, Norse mythology, Egyptian and Greek pantheons, all inspired by OUR visitations, OUR presence, OUR … help. Screw the prime directive, we are the ADVANCED species, let’s … have … fun."
*He pops to his feet and runs around with his fingers in his mouth to bite on as he dances in a circle. He quivers and lets out a sigh laugh combo as he drops to a seat and does the “aliens” meme pose from all those Georgio memes.*
"… … US … …"
*He stands back up and begins to pace wildly around his pyramid, dog, food, alien sanctuary of the odd and demented.*
"You love to deny us. Make the documentaries of us out to be invented, fake. But like the mermaids and unicorns and cryptids in those specials we air … like the ghosts whose hunters we film … We … are … here. And I am here to take your unfounded title and end the streaming wars … FOR GOOD. Soon all will be WBD. All will be back inside the neurological web of the ancient minds and creators. Soon all will see my light. Oh my dear deluded star fleet aficionado. I’m afraid the days of hiding in a dracolich, being shielded in a garage, and playing superstar are quite over. Your parents are coming home and they are not pleased with what you’ve done to the home while we were at the ranch!"
*He grabs the T-rex skull and begins to dance with it as he talks to it*
"The only 'prime directive' is to survive and thrive. Have fun. And acknowledge us. She doesn’t know. My power … is … MAX. And there is only room for one PLUS around here. It is time to return the Trekker to the dwellings of the fossils to be with her dear departed fiend friend. And then we can truly begin the return to the age of the Pyramid Power of the visitors from space. TEEHEE! She is missioned to seek new worlds … where no man has gone before. Too bad at Supremacy all she will find … IS A WORLD OF HURT!"
*Fade out*
