Post by Dave D-Flipz on Jan 22, 2024 23:13:33 GMT -5
“DOOFENSHMIRTZ EVIL INCORPORATED!!”
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: THIS SHALL NOT STAND! We have to do something to rectify this. How can we help?! What can we do? Maybe if I sent a … TITLE-INATOR over to TAPOUT HQ to be used on him? No no, too risky, could make him INTO a title. Or give him a title like … OBGYN… *shudder*. Ok plan Q … Where is that blasted shrink-o-ray I was paid to make for that dictator of that unfindable country? That would take the blasted Kilroy down to size! SPLAT! One boot all it would take.
*We open up on Doofenshmirtz pacing around his sanctum sanctimonious alone. He seems to be discussing something with his most trusted advisor … a picture of himself looking all evil when he was empowered by the eldritch energies of Phroooaggh inside of him. A knock on the door.*
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Yes Yes who is it? I’m VERY busy being an evil genius.
Phroooaggh: Yes I’m sure, care to tell your crew why you haven’t so much as hinted at an evil plan for our new Athletic Cup race? I’m sure you want another golden jock strap.
*Phroooaggh the Relentless peaks in the door without stepping in. It smells in that room. Like … pharmacist, exploded science experiments, and platypus sweat.*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Ugh I will do it over the comm TV link. I don’t want to leave my ruminating room. I need to think of a new –inator to save our biggest backer.
*The Relentless One accepts this with an eye roll. He backs out of the room and walks down to the crew below in the garage at the meeting table.*
*Outside the DEI building we find something ominous on an adjacent building’s roof. A looming wingaling dragon with one beefy arm coming out of the back of his neck there. Covered in consummate v’s. Exuding all his majesty. The Burninator huffs smoke and grins as he trots over to where a modified tesla coil looking device is being set up. There adding to the original model Indoctrinator Mark 1, is Rd. Ztrimshnefood. In all his … frumpy-ness.*
Burninator: Grrrrrrraaaaawwwwr … is it time?
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: Almost my dear dragon. We need be perfect. This is long game. We make them tear each other apart! And make Memaw angry. Bring down wrath of Mongo on them. Eliminate them. And then we take over world and summon Chthulu! But this need be right. One mess up and we might be bunnies again.
*The Burninator recoils and shudders.*
Burninator: RRRAAAAGH! Take your time. The Doofy one is alone in his room, the perfect little sick prey away from the herd.
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: Bahahahaha yes. He be good first choice. Nobody suspect … and then others seem like result of that. It perfect plan. They all … lose to us.
*The TV monitor pops on and Doof’s face takes up all of it.*
Billy & Ovi & Ian: GAAAAAH TURN IT OFF! BACK AWAY! OUR EYES!
*Doof rolls his eyes and backs away from the camera.*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: MY LOYAL CREWMATES!
Billy: Hurry this up and give us the scheme for the race so we can go back to playing Lethal Company.
Ovi: I admire that Coilhead.
Ian: I’m sick of uh that um, comedy mask. Stop putting it on. It is no longer funny or amusing. And repetition is the antithesis of chaos…
*Doof clicks his tongue and snaps his fingers*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Hey, eyes and ears here buckos. I don’t pay you to talk over me. You can do that on your own time. We have pressing matters. A vast injustice has occurred. One we can no longer stand idly by and be passive with.
Billy: We finally have proof Memaw is biased against our scientific brilliance? Because she is a boomer?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: No. CROSS RECOBA WAS SCREWED OUT OF HIS DUAL TITLES! This cannot stand. Cross is our most loyal and dedicated cult member. He is the only financially sound one to stick with us after the … Bidoofening …
Billy: I can no longer look at beavers the same way again …
Ovi: Dreadful really, our first truly successful plan and it went up in smoke … literally.
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Yes and this requires us to show some support in kind. We need to do something to tip the scales back into the favor of our guy. So I am hard at work thinking of an –inator that can help him win back both his titles. SO it is up to you to handle the Bowler Hat Brigade and win that golden jock strap.
Phroooaggh: Shouldn’t be hard, they only use hats as weapons. Our chemical weaponry and eldritch powers should have no problem handling one over the hill wrestler in a corvette with awful fashion sense.
*A whirring is head, just beneath the notice of the crew but enough the cameras pick it up. An astute viewer might even swear they saw Doof growing the beginnings of a goatee and his hair darkening in color.*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Good good. Now destroy that lunkhead, make his wife a widow. Bring home the golden crotch covering! Maybe we can donate it to Cross to use in his matches. Hmm … yes … I think I feel inspiration hitting me. Oh it’s so delectably evil … GO WIN THE RACE … FOR CROSS … AND THE AMC!
Billy: Sure thing man.
*The TV clicks off and the crew disperses to go play video games. We cut back to Doof. He begins to look more and more menacing, like he did when he was possessed by Phroooaggh. His evil goatee grows and he puts his eye patch on.*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: BAHAHAHAHAA! The entire tri-state area, the ENTIRE CAR COMMITTEE … and every other team on the books will rue the day they annoyed Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz! I will rule them all. MUAHAHAHAHAHA!
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: Machine on. Plan go. Now wait.
*The machine is on and blasting invisible radiation right through the window into DOof’s Sanctum Sanctimonious.*
Burninator: RRAAAAAAHHHH HAAAAAA HAAAAA! Yeeeeeees. Let them buuuuuurrrrrrn!
*Fade out*
1. What’s your characters new year resolution?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Rule the tri-state area!
Billy: Get a matching double to my stately golden boob!
Ovi: Eliminate that blasted hedgehog!
Ian: I uh, ha, would like to… bed your mothers. All of them. That, uh, is chaos theory … and incredibly sexy, and doable. Like your moms.
Phroooaggh: Hmm ya know I always wanted to visit the Ozarks. I hear they are full of wonderful activities to do.
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: Me will rule world!
Burninator: Eeeeeeaaaat … soooooooouls.
2. How’s the new year treating them?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Oh you know me, I can ALWAYS find something to complain about. Have you seen the state of my hair?
Ovi: At least you HAVE hair…
3. Favorite firework?
Ian: A runaway chemical reaction creating explosions, light, heat, and splendor? They are all my favorite children.
4. How will your team respond to winning?
Billy: BULLY FOR US! 2024 is the YEAR OF THE SCIENTIST!
5. How will your team respond to not winning?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Sigh, well, back to the drawing board. 2024, same as 2023. Still getting blamed for Memaw missing the finish line, and still finishing first every race and being given no points or victories. I should invent something to handle this… I need to get some more funding from Cross Recoba…
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: THIS SHALL NOT STAND! We have to do something to rectify this. How can we help?! What can we do? Maybe if I sent a … TITLE-INATOR over to TAPOUT HQ to be used on him? No no, too risky, could make him INTO a title. Or give him a title like … OBGYN… *shudder*. Ok plan Q … Where is that blasted shrink-o-ray I was paid to make for that dictator of that unfindable country? That would take the blasted Kilroy down to size! SPLAT! One boot all it would take.
*We open up on Doofenshmirtz pacing around his sanctum sanctimonious alone. He seems to be discussing something with his most trusted advisor … a picture of himself looking all evil when he was empowered by the eldritch energies of Phroooaggh inside of him. A knock on the door.*
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Yes Yes who is it? I’m VERY busy being an evil genius.
Phroooaggh: Yes I’m sure, care to tell your crew why you haven’t so much as hinted at an evil plan for our new Athletic Cup race? I’m sure you want another golden jock strap.
*Phroooaggh the Relentless peaks in the door without stepping in. It smells in that room. Like … pharmacist, exploded science experiments, and platypus sweat.*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Ugh I will do it over the comm TV link. I don’t want to leave my ruminating room. I need to think of a new –inator to save our biggest backer.
*The Relentless One accepts this with an eye roll. He backs out of the room and walks down to the crew below in the garage at the meeting table.*
*Outside the DEI building we find something ominous on an adjacent building’s roof. A looming wingaling dragon with one beefy arm coming out of the back of his neck there. Covered in consummate v’s. Exuding all his majesty. The Burninator huffs smoke and grins as he trots over to where a modified tesla coil looking device is being set up. There adding to the original model Indoctrinator Mark 1, is Rd. Ztrimshnefood. In all his … frumpy-ness.*
Burninator: Grrrrrrraaaaawwwwr … is it time?
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: Almost my dear dragon. We need be perfect. This is long game. We make them tear each other apart! And make Memaw angry. Bring down wrath of Mongo on them. Eliminate them. And then we take over world and summon Chthulu! But this need be right. One mess up and we might be bunnies again.
*The Burninator recoils and shudders.*
Burninator: RRRAAAAGH! Take your time. The Doofy one is alone in his room, the perfect little sick prey away from the herd.
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: Bahahahaha yes. He be good first choice. Nobody suspect … and then others seem like result of that. It perfect plan. They all … lose to us.
*The TV monitor pops on and Doof’s face takes up all of it.*
Billy & Ovi & Ian: GAAAAAH TURN IT OFF! BACK AWAY! OUR EYES!
*Doof rolls his eyes and backs away from the camera.*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: MY LOYAL CREWMATES!
Billy: Hurry this up and give us the scheme for the race so we can go back to playing Lethal Company.
Ovi: I admire that Coilhead.
Ian: I’m sick of uh that um, comedy mask. Stop putting it on. It is no longer funny or amusing. And repetition is the antithesis of chaos…
*Doof clicks his tongue and snaps his fingers*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Hey, eyes and ears here buckos. I don’t pay you to talk over me. You can do that on your own time. We have pressing matters. A vast injustice has occurred. One we can no longer stand idly by and be passive with.
Billy: We finally have proof Memaw is biased against our scientific brilliance? Because she is a boomer?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: No. CROSS RECOBA WAS SCREWED OUT OF HIS DUAL TITLES! This cannot stand. Cross is our most loyal and dedicated cult member. He is the only financially sound one to stick with us after the … Bidoofening …
Billy: I can no longer look at beavers the same way again …
Ovi: Dreadful really, our first truly successful plan and it went up in smoke … literally.
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Yes and this requires us to show some support in kind. We need to do something to tip the scales back into the favor of our guy. So I am hard at work thinking of an –inator that can help him win back both his titles. SO it is up to you to handle the Bowler Hat Brigade and win that golden jock strap.
Phroooaggh: Shouldn’t be hard, they only use hats as weapons. Our chemical weaponry and eldritch powers should have no problem handling one over the hill wrestler in a corvette with awful fashion sense.
*A whirring is head, just beneath the notice of the crew but enough the cameras pick it up. An astute viewer might even swear they saw Doof growing the beginnings of a goatee and his hair darkening in color.*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Good good. Now destroy that lunkhead, make his wife a widow. Bring home the golden crotch covering! Maybe we can donate it to Cross to use in his matches. Hmm … yes … I think I feel inspiration hitting me. Oh it’s so delectably evil … GO WIN THE RACE … FOR CROSS … AND THE AMC!
Billy: Sure thing man.
*The TV clicks off and the crew disperses to go play video games. We cut back to Doof. He begins to look more and more menacing, like he did when he was possessed by Phroooaggh. His evil goatee grows and he puts his eye patch on.*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: BAHAHAHAHAA! The entire tri-state area, the ENTIRE CAR COMMITTEE … and every other team on the books will rue the day they annoyed Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz! I will rule them all. MUAHAHAHAHAHA!
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: Machine on. Plan go. Now wait.
*The machine is on and blasting invisible radiation right through the window into DOof’s Sanctum Sanctimonious.*
Burninator: RRAAAAAAHHHH HAAAAAA HAAAAA! Yeeeeeees. Let them buuuuuurrrrrrn!
*Fade out*
1. What’s your characters new year resolution?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Rule the tri-state area!
Billy: Get a matching double to my stately golden boob!
Ovi: Eliminate that blasted hedgehog!
Ian: I uh, ha, would like to… bed your mothers. All of them. That, uh, is chaos theory … and incredibly sexy, and doable. Like your moms.
Phroooaggh: Hmm ya know I always wanted to visit the Ozarks. I hear they are full of wonderful activities to do.
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: Me will rule world!
Burninator: Eeeeeeaaaat … soooooooouls.
2. How’s the new year treating them?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Oh you know me, I can ALWAYS find something to complain about. Have you seen the state of my hair?
Ovi: At least you HAVE hair…
3. Favorite firework?
Ian: A runaway chemical reaction creating explosions, light, heat, and splendor? They are all my favorite children.
4. How will your team respond to winning?
Billy: BULLY FOR US! 2024 is the YEAR OF THE SCIENTIST!
5. How will your team respond to not winning?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Sigh, well, back to the drawing board. 2024, same as 2023. Still getting blamed for Memaw missing the finish line, and still finishing first every race and being given no points or victories. I should invent something to handle this… I need to get some more funding from Cross Recoba…
