Despite All My Rage... [FML 4 War Games]
Feb 5, 2024 22:42:45 GMT -5
Kira Izumi, edwarddubin0604, and 4 more like this
Post by flo on Feb 5, 2024 22:42:45 GMT -5
The image shakes as a green thumb crosses the foreground, turning down the Smashing Pumpkins' "Bullet with Butterfly Wings" for a background soundtrack. The claw moves again, swiping away from iTunes to confirm that the camera is recording, before retreating to allow an unobstructed view of everyone's favourite meth dealer. Leaning his forearm through a gap between two metal rods, the gator rests his arm against the cross section - the stabilizes the picture into a medium shot of our protagonist behind bars.
Florida Man is in a jail cell.
His natural environment.
Florida Man:
Home.
....When I first arrived in the XHF, I decided that my HOME was gonna be that land of the rising sun - Florida. Yeah, good OL' J-Rok. Even brought them some network gold... to sweeten the pot. Kira (Kira Izumi ) was all smiles, happy to welcome this here gator with open arms. ...That didn't last long. Oh, I busted my tail, tried to do right by my new feeding grounds, be a bonafide company reptile... but it seemed like the harder I tried, the worse I was treated. Locked in a contract, I couldn't work elsewhere, but was supposed to jump like a diggity dog on command. FINE. I'm an optimist, life gives me fentanyl, I just make fentanyl salad... or cut my heroin. I get put in a division that don't usually wrestle in venues, the YTA - and I make that strap so desirable, Kira HIMSELF decides he wants the dang thing. What a professional. See... on my one excursion away from my HOMEFED, I appeared in GUNS Fight Club... and gave Ol' Glass Jaw his nickname. Rather than take the loss in stride, my PROMOTER, decides to take it personal, use me even less, put me in degrading matches, and generally abuse his power to punish me for being better than him. Which I am.
If my boi, Marty Donovan (Visit Neom ), hadn't loosened my shakes to engage in W:UK's Revolution... I'd still be languishing in the dark. See it is only my success in W:UK that drew the attention of Kira's replacement, Nausicaä (Nausicaä Suzuki ), to start booking me........... too little...... WAY too FUCKING late.
See, I got a new HOME.
And since Mr.Blood (Mr. Blood ) is apparently as horny for cages as Marty is... I gotta say, W:UK reminds me of prison... which is my safe place. Ironically, me behind bars is YOUR safe place too. Unfortunately, it looks like we're gonna be locked up TOGETHER.
The Sunshine State Stud can't help but smile at this sadistic prospect. ...Because he wears a mask, and smiles at everything.
Florida Man:
Last month, UZUMAKI may have burned down the J-RoK Hall of Fame trying to cook this here gator, but we have enough bad blood to splash around. Here in the Wrestling United Kingdom... of Florida... fans have grown accustomed to the sight of Kira Izumi and his goons routinely gang assaulting me. Roughing me up on the eve of my New Years heavyweight challenge, costing me the commonwealth championship, hell, let's be honest, they didn't do my Two Kingdoms challenge no favours. Yeah, I'd LOVE to rearrange Yuki Sakarabe's face like a Mister Potatohead - but instead of destroying those clowns, instead I made this a war with Kira's entire company...
My former HOME...
Why? Surely, J-RoK is a large enough company that Kira could cherry pick the BEST and the BRIGHTEST to make for a much harder match? I had two reason for the request....... ONE when no one answered his call, OL' Glass Jaw would realize he has NO FRIENDS. Not a single person willing to step up, and try to save him from the ass kicking of a lifetime. TWO........ because while I was being mistreated... they all silently went along with it. There isn't a son of a bitch in J-RoK that doesn't know what Kira Izumi or his Nausicaä Suzuki is like - constantly asking us to tag her pussy is no better - and J-RoK continue to let them get away with it. Who really burnt down the Tokyo Dome? EVERY MOTHER FUCKING ONE OF THEM.
Captain Righteous? (Kasper Van Slam ) I thought you were a Hardkore World hero? Sorry to say, I don't really associate you with J-RoK. ...You appear on one show? Just happy to show up anywhere? Been there, buddy. I just want you to know that I appreciate you. You being here UNDERLINES how little people think of Kira. Like he couldn't get ANYONE else. Honda, Ayame, Zombie, even CJ Walker wouldn't return his call! Instead we get a rookie, that might not even have an exclusive contract with him. NICE.
Darlene Price. (La Familia Price ) Surprised to see you set your make-up gun on whore again so soon after your last W:UK disgrace. This ain't Japan. No one can protect you here. Keep testing your luck and you MIGHT just get pinned. Hey, I might even drag myself off Kira long enough to get that rub. They don't call me The PRICE Killer 'cause I part-time at COSTCO.
Brendan Harding. (bloodiedfox ) I have a lot of his history with your piece of shit EX. When you two were on speaking terms, rather than build off those issues, you basically ghosted me. I don't like you, but I LOATHED him. He isn't around for me to fuck up, so consider your asskicking as falling under your executor duties. ...And after I chew you up, I'm gonna take a dump on his grave to reunite you. Guess I'm an old romantic.
I appreciate you fools standing up for your HOME.......... but you're on the wrong side of history.
Kira Izumi signed me up for a fireworks anus match against my will... and made himself my competition. ...He attempted to violate me on television.
LEARN... that it's a BAD FUCKING WEEK for wrestling promotors who are scatological predators.
With that mic drop, Florida Man pulls his phone back into the safety of his cell.
The comfort of a steel cocoon.
Home.
Florida Man is in a jail cell.
His natural environment.
Florida Man:
Home.
....When I first arrived in the XHF, I decided that my HOME was gonna be that land of the rising sun - Florida. Yeah, good OL' J-Rok. Even brought them some network gold... to sweeten the pot. Kira (Kira Izumi ) was all smiles, happy to welcome this here gator with open arms. ...That didn't last long. Oh, I busted my tail, tried to do right by my new feeding grounds, be a bonafide company reptile... but it seemed like the harder I tried, the worse I was treated. Locked in a contract, I couldn't work elsewhere, but was supposed to jump like a diggity dog on command. FINE. I'm an optimist, life gives me fentanyl, I just make fentanyl salad... or cut my heroin. I get put in a division that don't usually wrestle in venues, the YTA - and I make that strap so desirable, Kira HIMSELF decides he wants the dang thing. What a professional. See... on my one excursion away from my HOMEFED, I appeared in GUNS Fight Club... and gave Ol' Glass Jaw his nickname. Rather than take the loss in stride, my PROMOTER, decides to take it personal, use me even less, put me in degrading matches, and generally abuse his power to punish me for being better than him. Which I am.
If my boi, Marty Donovan (Visit Neom ), hadn't loosened my shakes to engage in W:UK's Revolution... I'd still be languishing in the dark. See it is only my success in W:UK that drew the attention of Kira's replacement, Nausicaä (Nausicaä Suzuki ), to start booking me........... too little...... WAY too FUCKING late.
See, I got a new HOME.
And since Mr.Blood (Mr. Blood ) is apparently as horny for cages as Marty is... I gotta say, W:UK reminds me of prison... which is my safe place. Ironically, me behind bars is YOUR safe place too. Unfortunately, it looks like we're gonna be locked up TOGETHER.
The Sunshine State Stud can't help but smile at this sadistic prospect. ...Because he wears a mask, and smiles at everything.
Florida Man:
Last month, UZUMAKI may have burned down the J-RoK Hall of Fame trying to cook this here gator, but we have enough bad blood to splash around. Here in the Wrestling United Kingdom... of Florida... fans have grown accustomed to the sight of Kira Izumi and his goons routinely gang assaulting me. Roughing me up on the eve of my New Years heavyweight challenge, costing me the commonwealth championship, hell, let's be honest, they didn't do my Two Kingdoms challenge no favours. Yeah, I'd LOVE to rearrange Yuki Sakarabe's face like a Mister Potatohead - but instead of destroying those clowns, instead I made this a war with Kira's entire company...
My former HOME...
Why? Surely, J-RoK is a large enough company that Kira could cherry pick the BEST and the BRIGHTEST to make for a much harder match? I had two reason for the request....... ONE when no one answered his call, OL' Glass Jaw would realize he has NO FRIENDS. Not a single person willing to step up, and try to save him from the ass kicking of a lifetime. TWO........ because while I was being mistreated... they all silently went along with it. There isn't a son of a bitch in J-RoK that doesn't know what Kira Izumi or his Nausicaä Suzuki is like - constantly asking us to tag her pussy is no better - and J-RoK continue to let them get away with it. Who really burnt down the Tokyo Dome? EVERY MOTHER FUCKING ONE OF THEM.
Captain Righteous? (Kasper Van Slam ) I thought you were a Hardkore World hero? Sorry to say, I don't really associate you with J-RoK. ...You appear on one show? Just happy to show up anywhere? Been there, buddy. I just want you to know that I appreciate you. You being here UNDERLINES how little people think of Kira. Like he couldn't get ANYONE else. Honda, Ayame, Zombie, even CJ Walker wouldn't return his call! Instead we get a rookie, that might not even have an exclusive contract with him. NICE.
Darlene Price. (La Familia Price ) Surprised to see you set your make-up gun on whore again so soon after your last W:UK disgrace. This ain't Japan. No one can protect you here. Keep testing your luck and you MIGHT just get pinned. Hey, I might even drag myself off Kira long enough to get that rub. They don't call me The PRICE Killer 'cause I part-time at COSTCO.
Brendan Harding. (bloodiedfox ) I have a lot of his history with your piece of shit EX. When you two were on speaking terms, rather than build off those issues, you basically ghosted me. I don't like you, but I LOATHED him. He isn't around for me to fuck up, so consider your asskicking as falling under your executor duties. ...And after I chew you up, I'm gonna take a dump on his grave to reunite you. Guess I'm an old romantic.
I appreciate you fools standing up for your HOME.......... but you're on the wrong side of history.
Kira Izumi signed me up for a fireworks anus match against my will... and made himself my competition. ...He attempted to violate me on television.
LEARN... that it's a BAD FUCKING WEEK for wrestling promotors who are scatological predators.
With that mic drop, Florida Man pulls his phone back into the safety of his cell.
The comfort of a steel cocoon.
Home.