The Evil Reality of Lord Dominicus
Feb 29, 2024 3:49:40 GMT -5
Spike Kane, Dave D-Flipz, and 4 more like this
Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Feb 29, 2024 3:49:40 GMT -5
Bad to the Bone (Racing) Compound
Morning.
*As we fade in on a white door a finger extends from the camera to ring the doorbell. After several moments of waiting a lithe woman in a velour costume (Star Trek’s TOS science/medical officer, if you’re curious) opens the door. She looks at the camera and up at a boom mic floating nearby. She blinks.*
Trekker: DOMINICRAP! THERE’S SOME BULL[CENSORED] AT THE DOOR!
LD (Voice): STOP ANSWERING THE DOOR, YOU DON’T LIVE HERE!
The Awesome Reality of Steve Awesome
The Evil Reality of Lord Dominicus
*We cut to inside the house to a rarely-seen living room, which seems exceedingly…normal. Lord Dominicus sits on the couch and looks at the camera.*
LD: So are you sure this is ok?
Voice: Look, we had a contract for X number of episodes and he didn’t finish them, and you’re paying even after we told you that multiple times. It’s fine.
LD: Good, good. Oh and uh, the camera isn’t on right now, right? I’m going to claim I stole the camera crew from him as an act of evil once I get into the little interview room.
“It’s been a real roller coaster here the last few days…weeks…months? On one hand Team Dominicus triumphed at the War Games in WUK over stupid Wesley Crane’s team. So things are looking up on that end. But on the other side of things, Steve Awesome died. I didn’t know him well but I absolutely stole his camera crew, as you can see here. WELCOME TO MY REALITY!”
*Back to the living room.*
LD: But seriously, the filming hasn’t started right? I’m not even in my DominiBoots yet.
*As he gestures the camera follows down to see that aside from the rest of his costume, Lord Dominicus is wearing pink fuzzy slippers.*
“But then things just kept getting worse. The powers-that-be decided that we should honor the people who’ve recently died- fine. They thought I should be on the show- great. They dug through a garbage heap and found the ORIGINAL Lord Dominicus and his stupid sidekick from IWF, Senor Xtremeo.”
“You mean Spike Kane?”
“Why does everyone keep saying that? Was there a super villain registration act in NCW and IWF or something? Anyway it’s not important. What IS important is that in my infinite genius I made a call to get a partner NOBODY was expecting!”
*We see Lord Dominicus walking around the compound’s garage with his cell phone.*
LD: Yes I do understand your husband just died. I’m pretty sure that’s an integral part to the show and why the match exists. Yes I do realize I’m asking you to break NCW tradition AND that I’m risking your life by having a panda around you at all times. BUT BUT, I mean what is life without your husband now, right? Right?
*He shakes the phone slightly.*
LD: Hello? Are you still there?
“It was easily the WORST invitation anyone’s ever given me. EASILY. And I’ve been invited to really stupid things in the past. Wait, you look familiar. Did he hire the same crew as Steve? That’s a bit morbid.”
Supremacy
Backstage
*Lord Dominicus is pacing back and forth waiting for something (as noted because he’s continually checking his watch.*
LD: Where is she?
Trekker: Where is who?
*The Star Trek mascot appears behind Dominicus, surprising him.*
LD: GAH! WHY ARE YOU HERE!?
Trekker: It’s Supremacy, I’m defending my Junior Heavyweight Championship.
*She holds up the belt.*
LD: Go give that back to the actual champion. Also don’t expect a ride back, the DominiCruiser is for winners.
Trekker: I’m literally holding gold right now.
LD: Just get out of here, interloper!
“Now you’re probably thinking, ‘Oh but LD, you should be really happy because you get to finally prove yourself against the original Lord Dominicus AND you get to do it with your ex-consort!’ Which is a fair point except for two things: 1. I REALLY don’t want to see stupid other LD and 2. Things with Lady Dominicus didn’t quite go as planned…”
*Back backstage.*
LD: There you are! I’ve been waiting for at least five minutes!
*Fully in costume despite not needing to be, Lady Dominicus appears.*
Lady D: It’s not always about you.
LD: Yes it is! The match is literally LD vs LD- well, LD AND LD vs LD and other LD’s Plus One.
Lady D: You mean Spike Kane?
LD: Yeah yeah, you know he’s not that intimidating, even Nelly Angel has beaten him before.
Lady D: Wow, Spike’s really fallen then.
LD: Ok well let’s not go overboard here…
“Do they like each other? I’m not sure. They bicker like a married couple. It’s ninety-percent on him though. Something about her brings out the worst in him. Like he’s more-or-less a Cardassian as his base, but he goes full Romulan when she’s around. You know?”
*Still backstage.*
LD: All I’m saying is you didn’t need to marry the guy.
Lady D: Oh and I was supposed to wait nearly a decade for you to reappear?
LD: I DID!
Lady D: Ugh that’s so weird. Do you at least have any prospects now?
LD: OF COURSE I DO! Like uh, uh..um..
*For a moment the DARK LORD OF W:UK dips off-screen, he reappears dragging Lady Evil into the frame.*
LD: HA! Meet Lady Evil! Look at how EVIL she is!
Lady D: How old is she?
“19.”
Lady D: Well aren’t you just the cutest thing!
*The DARK LADY OF UH…RETIREMENT leans into a DominiEar*
Lady D: Don’t you think that’s a bit young for you?
LD: A bit young, for…OH OH! No I mean she’s a new associate, that kind of consort. Not THE OTHER KIND.
LE: I’m standing right here guys.
“It only got worse from there.”
Lady D: I meant do you have any romantic prospects?
LD: OF COURSE! Haha, a DARK LORD like myself is practically fighting off evil women left and right. I mean not right now, obviously. But ten minutes ago? Before you got here? Absolutely, totally fighting off THE EVIL FEMALE LEGIONS. But on a more long-term note uh…
*He scans the back. A deep guttural sigh escapes as he realizes what he’s about to do.*
“So…so much worse”
*After ducking off-camera for a moment, the REAL LD drags his hated housemate, the Star Trekker into the frame.*
LD: Meet uh, my ugh, girl…fr..ie…nd…
*He seems on the verge of vomiting, as does Trekker. The former corporate shill leans in and whispers.*
Trekker: I own you now.
Lady D: Well does this girl have a name?
LD: Ah yes, she’s uh Stan Trucker.
Trekker: The Star Trekker.
*Seeing the visible confusion on Lady Dominicus’ face at the name mix-up Trekker jumps into action.*
Trekker: Haha, that’s a little game we play.
LD: YEAH! She says some stupid name and then I say the real one.
*Glare from Trekker to LD.*
Lady D: Well nice to meet you ah…Stan?
LD: Oh wow look at how fast of evil friends we’re making here! Why don’t I go get us some popcorn or something…
“He left after that. Is that normal?”
“I could swear he used to be sweeter to his consorts, but it’s been so long.”
“What was it like banging Steve Awesome?”
“Well…”
“So now you can see why I’m not super enthused. It turns out that Lady Dominicus hasn’t wrestled in a very long time- maybe a decade. Meanwhile I’m against my most hated rival ever, the ORIGINAL Lord Dominicus- aka the WORST Lord Dominicus- and I mean in terms of bad, not evil. If this was a competition about the most evil Lord Dominicus I’d easily be the worst…as in like most evil. Anyway, I’m against Lord DominiWorst and Senor “OMG Did You Know It’s Spike Kane?” Xtremeo inside of a ring with a panda- and my partner lacks experience wrestling men or pandas. AND AND that stupid interloper Star Whatever now gets to live here rent free. I blame Steve Awesome for this. Uggggghhhhhh.”
*He lowers his head to the table and then covers it up as the camera fades.*
Morning.
*As we fade in on a white door a finger extends from the camera to ring the doorbell. After several moments of waiting a lithe woman in a velour costume (Star Trek’s TOS science/medical officer, if you’re curious) opens the door. She looks at the camera and up at a boom mic floating nearby. She blinks.*
Trekker: DOMINICRAP! THERE’S SOME BULL[CENSORED] AT THE DOOR!
LD (Voice): STOP ANSWERING THE DOOR, YOU DON’T LIVE HERE!
The Evil Reality of Lord Dominicus
*We cut to inside the house to a rarely-seen living room, which seems exceedingly…normal. Lord Dominicus sits on the couch and looks at the camera.*
LD: So are you sure this is ok?
Voice: Look, we had a contract for X number of episodes and he didn’t finish them, and you’re paying even after we told you that multiple times. It’s fine.
LD: Good, good. Oh and uh, the camera isn’t on right now, right? I’m going to claim I stole the camera crew from him as an act of evil once I get into the little interview room.
Lord Dominicus
Dark Lord of the XHF
Dark Lord of the XHF
“It’s been a real roller coaster here the last few days…weeks…months? On one hand Team Dominicus triumphed at the War Games in WUK over stupid Wesley Crane’s team. So things are looking up on that end. But on the other side of things, Steve Awesome died. I didn’t know him well but I absolutely stole his camera crew, as you can see here. WELCOME TO MY REALITY!”
*Back to the living room.*
LD: But seriously, the filming hasn’t started right? I’m not even in my DominiBoots yet.
*As he gestures the camera follows down to see that aside from the rest of his costume, Lord Dominicus is wearing pink fuzzy slippers.*
Lord Dominicus
BLACKEST BLACK in the XHF Network
BLACKEST BLACK in the XHF Network
“But then things just kept getting worse. The powers-that-be decided that we should honor the people who’ve recently died- fine. They thought I should be on the show- great. They dug through a garbage heap and found the ORIGINAL Lord Dominicus and his stupid sidekick from IWF, Senor Xtremeo.”
“You mean Spike Kane?”
“Why does everyone keep saying that? Was there a super villain registration act in NCW and IWF or something? Anyway it’s not important. What IS important is that in my infinite genius I made a call to get a partner NOBODY was expecting!”
*We see Lord Dominicus walking around the compound’s garage with his cell phone.*
LD: Yes I do understand your husband just died. I’m pretty sure that’s an integral part to the show and why the match exists. Yes I do realize I’m asking you to break NCW tradition AND that I’m risking your life by having a panda around you at all times. BUT BUT, I mean what is life without your husband now, right? Right?
*He shakes the phone slightly.*
LD: Hello? Are you still there?
Lady Dominicus
Ex-Consort of Lord Dominicus
Ex-Consort of Lord Dominicus
“It was easily the WORST invitation anyone’s ever given me. EASILY. And I’ve been invited to really stupid things in the past. Wait, you look familiar. Did he hire the same crew as Steve? That’s a bit morbid.”
Supremacy
Backstage
*Lord Dominicus is pacing back and forth waiting for something (as noted because he’s continually checking his watch.*
LD: Where is she?
Trekker: Where is who?
*The Star Trek mascot appears behind Dominicus, surprising him.*
LD: GAH! WHY ARE YOU HERE!?
Trekker: It’s Supremacy, I’m defending my Junior Heavyweight Championship.
*She holds up the belt.*
LD: Go give that back to the actual champion. Also don’t expect a ride back, the DominiCruiser is for winners.
Trekker: I’m literally holding gold right now.
LD: Just get out of here, interloper!
Lord Dominicus
The REAL Lord Dominicus, not the ORIGINAL Lord Dominicus
The REAL Lord Dominicus, not the ORIGINAL Lord Dominicus
“Now you’re probably thinking, ‘Oh but LD, you should be really happy because you get to finally prove yourself against the original Lord Dominicus AND you get to do it with your ex-consort!’ Which is a fair point except for two things: 1. I REALLY don’t want to see stupid other LD and 2. Things with Lady Dominicus didn’t quite go as planned…”
*Back backstage.*
LD: There you are! I’ve been waiting for at least five minutes!
*Fully in costume despite not needing to be, Lady Dominicus appears.*
Lady D: It’s not always about you.
LD: Yes it is! The match is literally LD vs LD- well, LD AND LD vs LD and other LD’s Plus One.
Lady D: You mean Spike Kane?
LD: Yeah yeah, you know he’s not that intimidating, even Nelly Angel has beaten him before.
Lady D: Wow, Spike’s really fallen then.
LD: Ok well let’s not go overboard here…
The Star Trekker
Formerly of Paramount+
Formerly of Paramount+
“Do they like each other? I’m not sure. They bicker like a married couple. It’s ninety-percent on him though. Something about her brings out the worst in him. Like he’s more-or-less a Cardassian as his base, but he goes full Romulan when she’s around. You know?”
*Still backstage.*
LD: All I’m saying is you didn’t need to marry the guy.
Lady D: Oh and I was supposed to wait nearly a decade for you to reappear?
LD: I DID!
Lady D: Ugh that’s so weird. Do you at least have any prospects now?
LD: OF COURSE I DO! Like uh, uh..um..
*For a moment the DARK LORD OF W:UK dips off-screen, he reappears dragging Lady Evil into the frame.*
LD: HA! Meet Lady Evil! Look at how EVIL she is!
Lady D: How old is she?
Lady Evil
Supervillain-in-Training
Supervillain-in-Training
“19.”
Lady D: Well aren’t you just the cutest thing!
*The DARK LADY OF UH…RETIREMENT leans into a DominiEar*
Lady D: Don’t you think that’s a bit young for you?
LD: A bit young, for…OH OH! No I mean she’s a new associate, that kind of consort. Not THE OTHER KIND.
LE: I’m standing right here guys.
Lord Dominicus
Has Had Better Days
Has Had Better Days
“It only got worse from there.”
Lady D: I meant do you have any romantic prospects?
LD: OF COURSE! Haha, a DARK LORD like myself is practically fighting off evil women left and right. I mean not right now, obviously. But ten minutes ago? Before you got here? Absolutely, totally fighting off THE EVIL FEMALE LEGIONS. But on a more long-term note uh…
*He scans the back. A deep guttural sigh escapes as he realizes what he’s about to do.*
Lord Dominicus
The DARK LORD of Being Single
The DARK LORD of Being Single
“So…so much worse”
*After ducking off-camera for a moment, the REAL LD drags his hated housemate, the Star Trekker into the frame.*
LD: Meet uh, my ugh, girl…fr..ie…nd…
*He seems on the verge of vomiting, as does Trekker. The former corporate shill leans in and whispers.*
Trekker: I own you now.
Lady D: Well does this girl have a name?
LD: Ah yes, she’s uh Stan Trucker.
Trekker: The Star Trekker.
*Seeing the visible confusion on Lady Dominicus’ face at the name mix-up Trekker jumps into action.*
Trekker: Haha, that’s a little game we play.
LD: YEAH! She says some stupid name and then I say the real one.
*Glare from Trekker to LD.*
Lady D: Well nice to meet you ah…Stan?
LD: Oh wow look at how fast of evil friends we’re making here! Why don’t I go get us some popcorn or something…
Lady Dominicus and Star Trekker
On Surprisingly Good Terms
On Surprisingly Good Terms
“He left after that. Is that normal?”
“I could swear he used to be sweeter to his consorts, but it’s been so long.”
“What was it like banging Steve Awesome?”
“Well…”
Lord Dominicus
Didn’t Bang Steve Awesome
Didn’t Bang Steve Awesome
“So now you can see why I’m not super enthused. It turns out that Lady Dominicus hasn’t wrestled in a very long time- maybe a decade. Meanwhile I’m against my most hated rival ever, the ORIGINAL Lord Dominicus- aka the WORST Lord Dominicus- and I mean in terms of bad, not evil. If this was a competition about the most evil Lord Dominicus I’d easily be the worst…as in like most evil. Anyway, I’m against Lord DominiWorst and Senor “OMG Did You Know It’s Spike Kane?” Xtremeo inside of a ring with a panda- and my partner lacks experience wrestling men or pandas. AND AND that stupid interloper Star Whatever now gets to live here rent free. I blame Steve Awesome for this. Uggggghhhhhh.”
*He lowers his head to the table and then covers it up as the camera fades.*
