Post by Rage and Cage on Mar 17, 2024 11:09:31 GMT -5
“Woke” Wesley Rage is working out in the High Rollers Club state of the art gym, He’s set up a 10 foot ladder and runs up it as quickly as he can without using his hands. Soon, Nicholas H. Cage walks into the gym holding his phone out as he livestreams to his fans.
Cage: And here is my bro doing some laddering! Scissoring is better, but here we are!
Rage stops and wipes away some sweat.
Rage: Sup, Nic?
Cage: Not much, little bro. Just taking my mind of Legacy. That was some stinky bullshit!
Rage: The stinkiest.
Cage: But full steam ahead. Looks like we may get some gold after all! Mr. Crane is going to the Friendly Ghost to take back our World title, and you’re going to become Commonwealth champion!
Rage: That’s exactly how it’s going to go! And I got to hand it to WUK on this one, this is a pretty progressive match. They found a match that gives us all an equal chance of winning and made it open to all genders and nationalities. Hey, WUK, more of this, yas, please!
Cage: WOOOOOOOOOOO!
Rage: And who better to win this match than the Wokest one in this company?
Cage: Well, Sinclair’s pretty good. She’s the Vegas favorite…
Rage glares at Cage.
Cage: But you’re pretty fucking good, too!
Rage: Yes, I am, and Wokeness needs this platform in 2024. My win will lift up people who need it: Black, Brown, Red, and all the other beautiful colors!
Cage: Including White?
Rage: No, not the whites. They have enough. That’s why Cheez and Otto Ritter can’t win. That’s an unacceptable, regressive outcome.
Cage: Tell the world why, bro!
Rage: Since you asked, sure! Let’s start with Cheez. I know he’s tried to align with us, but he’s not a true High Roller. Plus, he’s a white guy. Rather not see one of them win.
Cage: Isn’t racial prejudice bad?
Rage: It’s the worst, but only when it’s against people of color. white people have earned and prejudice they receive unless they learn to actively repent and work for social justice. That’s not Cheez.
Cage: Do you think he’ll get bloodied up by the ladder?
Rage: I dunno. Maybe.
Cage: Cause, you know, then you’ll cut the Cheez!
Rage: You hit your vape pen before you came in here, didn’t you?
Cage: How’d you know?
Rage: Brothers know these kinds of things.
Cage: Sweet. So where was I…oh, Otto Ritter. What’s wrong with him?
Rage: It’s more about what’s reich with him.
Cage: I don’t get it.
Rage: It would have killed in San Francisco, but I’m not dumbing myself down. Trust me. It’s witty and hilarious.
Cage: I believe in you!
Even though Cage doesn’t understand, he has faith in his family.
Cage: What about Taaaa…hmmm…Tuuuu….damn it. That Matsui guy! Is he cool?
Rage: Sadly, he is not. The Japanese, and not through any fault of their own, fit into the “model minority” role. It has been used to set people of color against themselves. Hard disapprove, bro! Besides, Takaru Matsui leans into a lot of stereotypes in his tag team. It’s reductive that Japanese people come off as ninjas and all that. I think Takaru Matsui needs to examine his life and do better. Until he does, he isn’t woke.
Cage: Damn shame.
Rage: It is. I applaud WUK for this match, but I think they failed when it comes to making the ultimate Woke match.
Cage: Well, you still got Sinclair and Olympia.
Rage: And that is a good start! If WUK would remove two men, this really could have been a positive step. They also could have just added another woman. In a better world, Cheez, Ritter, or Matsui would be transitioning, but that’s not the case.
Cage: What about you?
Rage: It’s just not in my heart, Nic! I’ve tried to see the woman inside me, but I just can’t. It’s sad, but I can’t disrespect the movement by being inauthentic about my gender identity. Sometimes you’re just cis.
Cage: Sometimes it be like that.
Cage loses his train of thought for a minute. Rage looks around unsure of what to do. Finally, Cage’s brain starts working again.
Cage: So what about Sincliar Godfrey and Olympia?
Rage: I love the effort at representation by WUK, but I’m left wanting. Sinclair Godfret and Olympia are women, but they reject femininity. That’s a real problem. They embrace masculinity…
Cage: Isn’t that what trans people do?
Rage punches Cage square in the chest. Cage wheezes as Rage gets red in the face.
Rage: IT’S NOT LIKE THAT AT ALL! DON’T EVER FUCKING SAY THAT!
Cage is sobered up by the punch. Rage sighs and helps his brother stand.
Rage: I’m sorry, but you can’t go around acting like a personal choice in how you act is the same as gender identity. It’s not cool. I'm sorry you were punched, but it’s not my fault. Your actions forced it to happen. Just do better, bro.
Cage: O…okay.
Cage coughs some more as Rage takes his phone.
Rage: Back to my point. There’s a problem with women like Sinclair Godfrey and Olympia. They choose to present themselves as masculine. They demonstrate masculine traits like aggression to attempt to get ahead instead of embracing feminine traits. They sell out their gender, and it’s not okay. It’s certainly not Woke.
Cage is finally recovered, so Rage hands him the phone back.
Cage: There you have it. Sinclair Godfrey and Olympia are women, but not feminine. Personally, I think they have boobs, but no one asked me. Anyway, it’s time for trivia! Let’s see who can answer this question: What is the capital of China?
Rage: Beijing.
Cage: Nope, Bangkok!
Cage punches his brother in the dick and runs away. Rage drops to a knee.
Rage: That’s Thailand, dipshit!
Cage: I would have also accepted “C”!
Cage: And here is my bro doing some laddering! Scissoring is better, but here we are!
Rage stops and wipes away some sweat.
Rage: Sup, Nic?
Cage: Not much, little bro. Just taking my mind of Legacy. That was some stinky bullshit!
Rage: The stinkiest.
Cage: But full steam ahead. Looks like we may get some gold after all! Mr. Crane is going to the Friendly Ghost to take back our World title, and you’re going to become Commonwealth champion!
Rage: That’s exactly how it’s going to go! And I got to hand it to WUK on this one, this is a pretty progressive match. They found a match that gives us all an equal chance of winning and made it open to all genders and nationalities. Hey, WUK, more of this, yas, please!
Cage: WOOOOOOOOOOO!
Rage: And who better to win this match than the Wokest one in this company?
Cage: Well, Sinclair’s pretty good. She’s the Vegas favorite…
Rage glares at Cage.
Cage: But you’re pretty fucking good, too!
Rage: Yes, I am, and Wokeness needs this platform in 2024. My win will lift up people who need it: Black, Brown, Red, and all the other beautiful colors!
Cage: Including White?
Rage: No, not the whites. They have enough. That’s why Cheez and Otto Ritter can’t win. That’s an unacceptable, regressive outcome.
Cage: Tell the world why, bro!
Rage: Since you asked, sure! Let’s start with Cheez. I know he’s tried to align with us, but he’s not a true High Roller. Plus, he’s a white guy. Rather not see one of them win.
Cage: Isn’t racial prejudice bad?
Rage: It’s the worst, but only when it’s against people of color. white people have earned and prejudice they receive unless they learn to actively repent and work for social justice. That’s not Cheez.
Cage: Do you think he’ll get bloodied up by the ladder?
Rage: I dunno. Maybe.
Cage: Cause, you know, then you’ll cut the Cheez!
Rage: You hit your vape pen before you came in here, didn’t you?
Cage: How’d you know?
Rage: Brothers know these kinds of things.
Cage: Sweet. So where was I…oh, Otto Ritter. What’s wrong with him?
Rage: It’s more about what’s reich with him.
Cage: I don’t get it.
Rage: It would have killed in San Francisco, but I’m not dumbing myself down. Trust me. It’s witty and hilarious.
Cage: I believe in you!
Even though Cage doesn’t understand, he has faith in his family.
Cage: What about Taaaa…hmmm…Tuuuu….damn it. That Matsui guy! Is he cool?
Rage: Sadly, he is not. The Japanese, and not through any fault of their own, fit into the “model minority” role. It has been used to set people of color against themselves. Hard disapprove, bro! Besides, Takaru Matsui leans into a lot of stereotypes in his tag team. It’s reductive that Japanese people come off as ninjas and all that. I think Takaru Matsui needs to examine his life and do better. Until he does, he isn’t woke.
Cage: Damn shame.
Rage: It is. I applaud WUK for this match, but I think they failed when it comes to making the ultimate Woke match.
Cage: Well, you still got Sinclair and Olympia.
Rage: And that is a good start! If WUK would remove two men, this really could have been a positive step. They also could have just added another woman. In a better world, Cheez, Ritter, or Matsui would be transitioning, but that’s not the case.
Cage: What about you?
Rage: It’s just not in my heart, Nic! I’ve tried to see the woman inside me, but I just can’t. It’s sad, but I can’t disrespect the movement by being inauthentic about my gender identity. Sometimes you’re just cis.
Cage: Sometimes it be like that.
Cage loses his train of thought for a minute. Rage looks around unsure of what to do. Finally, Cage’s brain starts working again.
Cage: So what about Sincliar Godfrey and Olympia?
Rage: I love the effort at representation by WUK, but I’m left wanting. Sinclair Godfret and Olympia are women, but they reject femininity. That’s a real problem. They embrace masculinity…
Cage: Isn’t that what trans people do?
Rage punches Cage square in the chest. Cage wheezes as Rage gets red in the face.
Rage: IT’S NOT LIKE THAT AT ALL! DON’T EVER FUCKING SAY THAT!
Cage is sobered up by the punch. Rage sighs and helps his brother stand.
Rage: I’m sorry, but you can’t go around acting like a personal choice in how you act is the same as gender identity. It’s not cool. I'm sorry you were punched, but it’s not my fault. Your actions forced it to happen. Just do better, bro.
Cage: O…okay.
Cage coughs some more as Rage takes his phone.
Rage: Back to my point. There’s a problem with women like Sinclair Godfrey and Olympia. They choose to present themselves as masculine. They demonstrate masculine traits like aggression to attempt to get ahead instead of embracing feminine traits. They sell out their gender, and it’s not okay. It’s certainly not Woke.
Cage is finally recovered, so Rage hands him the phone back.
Cage: There you have it. Sinclair Godfrey and Olympia are women, but not feminine. Personally, I think they have boobs, but no one asked me. Anyway, it’s time for trivia! Let’s see who can answer this question: What is the capital of China?
Rage: Beijing.
Cage: Nope, Bangkok!
Cage punches his brother in the dick and runs away. Rage drops to a knee.
Rage: That’s Thailand, dipshit!
Cage: I would have also accepted “C”!