You Can’t Hunt Something That’s Behind You -Tag Team Beahrly

[h2f]

Author’s note: Abby’s spoken word indicators are each to different links and this promo is from her point of view.

I charge and jump. He catches me with a yelp. My foot finds the back of his knee and, despite his height, he goes down. He is my prey. I will devour him slowly. Enjoying every moment he is beneath me. My prey. My teeth scrape across his neck. Mine. My left knee presses, gently, into his chest. He moans on the exhale. I move my legs so they straddle him but my arms push him into the mat. He’s panting as I bite his ear.

Brittney: Hey! That’s not a wrestling move.

I jerk to see my cousin standing just outside the makeshift ring. The surrounding trees should have been enough privacy, but I guess not.

Brittney: Come on! Memaw wants us training for a wrestling bout, not practicing for later in the bedroom.

I look down and growl as my prey’s panting speeds up.

Blond prey Forest: Later in the bedroom?

I smile at what I’ve caught. Like I would deny what we both want. The Other Forest rises from the nearby rock he was sitting on and joins my cousin

Other Shorter Forest: Let your boyfriend up! He’s supposed to be-

Abby: Prey. He’s like a little seal pup that doesn’t see the polar bear until it's too late.

I respond and ease off him. Both him and my cousin whine.

Brittney: We are suppose’ta work on our team moves. Y’all can canoodle and whatall else later. … When I don’t have to watch.

I motion her into the ring. She jumps waist high onto the ring side. Slides back down. Brittney swings a leg onto the ring and hops a little. She whines again as I sigh and walk over. Her leg in my hand, I pull her the rest of the way into the ring. She stands and jumps a little.

Brittney: Thanks!

We turn to the noise of someone walking down the forest path to this clearing.

Brittney: She’s coming. Did you read the info she texted?

Abby: Mutt is preyed upon by his own king. He is weaker than he should be and that will be our opportunity.

The girls’ grandmother rounds the bend into the clearing.

Brittney: I don’t know. The latest PokaPublishes on Tik Tok describes Mutt as a beast with very strong motivation. Given that she has an uncanny pulse on the XHF community, we should think about it.

Abby: That king is so blinded by his own reflection that he misses his sub’s needs. A piss poor dominant.

Memaw reaches the ring and nods.

Memaw: Hey! Why’d you ladies steal my Forest Force?

Brittney: You asked us to practice tag team moves. Who’d you think we’d practice them on?

Memaw: Fair. What’cha talking about?

Abby: Strategy. We may be smaller bears in that ring but they have been known to take down much larger prey - like a moose.

The two Forest Force members regroup by Memaw.

Blond Forest: Mutt doesn’t strike me as a herbivore. I think he’s another bear.

Memaw: Then I’ll pack extra marshmallows and the girls can throw them at his nose. Listen girls. CAR is going all out to be a respectable member of the XHF.

Other Forest: Really?

Memaw: To secure our place at the top of the XHF network, we need belts. We’ve got strong contenders in that X*Crown Cluster Fun of a match but they lost the tag team belts and you can steal them back. Your win may not push SCCW back where it belongs in the XHF rankings and raise us to where we should be but it will help. You matter. This match matters, and frankly, I’m just asking you to play with your food.

Brittney looks around at the wrestling ring.

Brittney: I thought you were asking us to wrestle?

Memaw: Technically, yes, but the match is basically a food fight. Hey, I won’t even need to bring marshmallows! You can throw wieners at Mutt’s face and he’ll eat them up!

We all look at Memaw for a moment and try not to think about it. One of the Forests clears his throat.

Other Forest: I- um. Well. I don’t think Mutt is an actual bear.

Memaw: This is no time to judge a man’s physique. If he identifies as a bear, let him. And throw wieners at his face.

Brittney: So … so, I don’t have to wrestle?

Memaw: It’s a Detroit Coney Dog match. All I’m asking you to do is to get in a ring and throw food at a man. Nothing more, nothing less. Well. Ok, I’m also asking you NOT to get hit with any of the food they throw at you. Nothing more, nothing less. Well, one more thing. I’m asking you to win the Tag Team Belts for the glory of CAR. Nothing more, nothing less. And that would require you to visit SCCW and wrestle there next month. Nothing more, and I’ll stop there.

Brittney blows out a breath towards the clouds and watches a bird fly overhead. It poops mid flight. We watch as the glob spats on a nearby rock. I sincerely hope that spattered poop isn’t an omen for the things to come in my wrestling career.

Abby: I’ve watched a lot of polar bears fight in preparations for this match. Should I switch to watching the food network? What even is Detroit Coney Dog?


Memaw: I know you’ll go into that ring and give it your all. I’m so proud of my grandchildren. No matter what you do, I’m proud of the women you have become. But CAR is… we can be a part of something bigger. And you both have been trying, without success, in CAR for so long. I want you, and me, to have a little taste of victory. I know you try on the racetrack but I just wish you’d do a better job keeping ahead of the competition.

I scrunch my nose as I turn to Memaw.

Abby: You Can’t Hunt Something That’s Behind You.

She paw-zes. Blinks once and says, in a soft, but dangerous voice:

Memaw: Are you telling me-

**The feed goes black. **

The Entire CAR Planning Committee regrets having to remove the end portion of this segment. It was not in the spirit of CAR. The CARnie mission is about accepting the differences in each of us and collaboration. We value the journey over the final destination’s victory.

The end of this segment did not reflect our CARnal goals however we look forward to CAR holding the tag team belt once again.