The Name Game [Epcot Mafia 2/2]
Apr 16, 2024 1:26:45 GMT -5
mosler, Visit Neom, and 1 more like this
Post by flo on Apr 16, 2024 1:26:45 GMT -5
Melbourne.
Queen Victoria Market.
Your friendly neighbourhood Florida Man strolls down the massive open air market, accompanied by his faithful attorney, Gazoo.
Florida Man (stealing an unattended coffee from a cafe table):
After ducking us for over a year, Oblivion Death Squad are finally going to be put diggity down! I for one can't think of a better place to bury them...
Gazoo (stealing a monkfish from a busy fishmonger):
Australia? Give me a break, Flo. (sneer) Tossing dwarves is a sport here!
With that the green painted little person bites into his giant raw fish. Having an emotional intelligence of a gazillion, FML realizes that his diminutive conscience is just sore over having aged out of the dwarf tossing game.
Florida Man:
A land that basically started life as a penal colony... this is practically Miami's sister country. Heck, I'd like to think if we built one of them Dorito powered time machines, and went back, like ten years to when the U.K. was still shipping criminals out here, we'd be on the boat, Gaz.
Gazoo:
They hadn't invented Cool Ranch Doritos in 2014 yet... so there would be no way to return to our civilized modern world. We'd be trapped. Is there anything we can do to prevent this harsh fate?
Florida Man (drinking coffee):
Too late. Nothing left to do, except giving Mormo and Moloch a piece of my mind! (turning to camera) O. D. S. The team that decided to clean up their KGB image, by teasing overdosing. Your very initials are hurting my bottom line, bois. Now whether it was Blood, or Wormwood, or just the amount of pull My Man Godfrey has with the brass - y'all have somehow managed to avoid title contention for over a year. Damn suspect, when you look at your win loss record versus the guys that are usually gunning for out straps. So you two look like physical monsters, and never have to deal with Marty and myself-
Gazoo:
The real monsters.
Florida Man:
Dang straight. So y'all look scary, without ever challenging. That's cool. Y'all want to be 911, beating up small fries? Just makes the division look more active, while having a net to make sure we is only getting the cream of the crop. I'm down. ONLY... its done in a way that makes you look better than us. Like if we ever met, we'd be the next sacrifices. YOU got the global tag shot. I guess WE ARE outsiders. Then you won it... more power to you, congrats on the secondary belts... only it feels like the REAL tag champs had to play second fiddle as your undercard. Homie don't play that game. Y'all need to be taken down a peg. I've beat you both in singles, but you still managed to steal my commonwealth strap... history ain't gonna repeat itself. Epcot Mafia are taking you two down. ...That's personal........... where as this is business.
As FML mentions business, Gazoo pulls out a cardboard sign that reads "heroin" - twirling it like a fidget spinner.
Florida Man (town crier):
HEROIN, GET YOUR HEROIN HERE!
It appears Queen Victoria Market has added a new stall. Not wanting to be arrested, the camera starts to pan away... over to a distraught woman speaking with a police office.
Woman:
My baby!
Cop:
...Maybe a dingo ate your baby?
Woman (pointing at our green heroes):
No, it was them!
Florida Man's eyes bug out. He starts to say something to Gazoo, but his attorney is already running. Florida Man follows, pursued by an angry mob.
A few blocks away, Florida Man ducks behind a bush - leaving the bloodthirsty crowd to follow his long suffering manager. Breathing a sigh of relief, FML starts to get up, when he notices his tag partner sitting on a bench.
Florida Man:
Yo Marty!
Marty Donovan:
Huh? Oh. Hey Flo.
...That's strange. Usually Marty is so full of energy it feels like he's running away from Flo.
Florida Man:
Something got you down, homeslice?
Marty Donovan:
Nah. It's nothing.
Florida Man:
Ya wanna go toss some dwarves? Gaz tells me it's legal here. God bless Australia - the Florida of the North!
Marty Donovan:
No, I'm good...
Florida Man:
......It ain't like you to turn down the opportunity to pick on little people... are you sick, pal?
Marty Donovan:
It's just... our team.
Florida Man:
OH, you mean being the greatest team in the most active tag division on the Network, and STILL playing second banana to the ODS?
Marty Donovan:
No, I mean the whole Epcot thing... advertising that company is in my past, so us continuing to reference it - I know we're the champs, but it just seems like a slap in the face.
Florida Man:
Well JEEZ Marty... I wish you'd said something earlier, that ain't worth fretting over, we can TOTES change the name. Don't have to advertise THOSE guys-
Marty Donovan (nodding):
Thanks Flo, I know it shouldn't bother me but-
Rather than continuing this heart-to-heart and finally bonding as a team, Florida Man reaches out - snatching the camera away from the videographer. The image shakes for a few seconds as the Sunshine State Syko breaks both the third wall, and probably the camera, before pulling it into a tight close-up.
Florida Man:
YOOOOOOOOOO EPCOT NATION - to celebrate putting a nail in ODS' coffin, yo bois FloMa is changing our names, and we WANT YOUR HELP!
Marty Donovan:
Thay's okay, I think we are perfectly capable of doing this ourse-
Florida Man:
What should the Epcot Mafia change their name to?
Marty Donovan:
-Tinto is actually very good at coming up with-
Florida Man:
SO HEAD ON OVER TO THE XHF WEBSITE, they need the hits, and vote for the form (points at Marty then himself) that ODS' destroyers will take!
With that, the gator faced luchador give the camera a big thumbs up. Behind Flo, a miserable Marty Donovan seems decided less optimistic about this marketing scheme.
Queen Victoria Market.
Your friendly neighbourhood Florida Man strolls down the massive open air market, accompanied by his faithful attorney, Gazoo.
Florida Man (stealing an unattended coffee from a cafe table):
After ducking us for over a year, Oblivion Death Squad are finally going to be put diggity down! I for one can't think of a better place to bury them...
Gazoo (stealing a monkfish from a busy fishmonger):
Australia? Give me a break, Flo. (sneer) Tossing dwarves is a sport here!
With that the green painted little person bites into his giant raw fish. Having an emotional intelligence of a gazillion, FML realizes that his diminutive conscience is just sore over having aged out of the dwarf tossing game.
Florida Man:
A land that basically started life as a penal colony... this is practically Miami's sister country. Heck, I'd like to think if we built one of them Dorito powered time machines, and went back, like ten years to when the U.K. was still shipping criminals out here, we'd be on the boat, Gaz.
Gazoo:
They hadn't invented Cool Ranch Doritos in 2014 yet... so there would be no way to return to our civilized modern world. We'd be trapped. Is there anything we can do to prevent this harsh fate?
Florida Man (drinking coffee):
Too late. Nothing left to do, except giving Mormo and Moloch a piece of my mind! (turning to camera) O. D. S. The team that decided to clean up their KGB image, by teasing overdosing. Your very initials are hurting my bottom line, bois. Now whether it was Blood, or Wormwood, or just the amount of pull My Man Godfrey has with the brass - y'all have somehow managed to avoid title contention for over a year. Damn suspect, when you look at your win loss record versus the guys that are usually gunning for out straps. So you two look like physical monsters, and never have to deal with Marty and myself-
Gazoo:
The real monsters.
Florida Man:
Dang straight. So y'all look scary, without ever challenging. That's cool. Y'all want to be 911, beating up small fries? Just makes the division look more active, while having a net to make sure we is only getting the cream of the crop. I'm down. ONLY... its done in a way that makes you look better than us. Like if we ever met, we'd be the next sacrifices. YOU got the global tag shot. I guess WE ARE outsiders. Then you won it... more power to you, congrats on the secondary belts... only it feels like the REAL tag champs had to play second fiddle as your undercard. Homie don't play that game. Y'all need to be taken down a peg. I've beat you both in singles, but you still managed to steal my commonwealth strap... history ain't gonna repeat itself. Epcot Mafia are taking you two down. ...That's personal........... where as this is business.
As FML mentions business, Gazoo pulls out a cardboard sign that reads "heroin" - twirling it like a fidget spinner.
Florida Man (town crier):
HEROIN, GET YOUR HEROIN HERE!
It appears Queen Victoria Market has added a new stall. Not wanting to be arrested, the camera starts to pan away... over to a distraught woman speaking with a police office.
Woman:
My baby!
Cop:
...Maybe a dingo ate your baby?
Woman (pointing at our green heroes):
No, it was them!
Florida Man's eyes bug out. He starts to say something to Gazoo, but his attorney is already running. Florida Man follows, pursued by an angry mob.
A few blocks away, Florida Man ducks behind a bush - leaving the bloodthirsty crowd to follow his long suffering manager. Breathing a sigh of relief, FML starts to get up, when he notices his tag partner sitting on a bench.
Florida Man:
Yo Marty!
Marty Donovan:
Huh? Oh. Hey Flo.
...That's strange. Usually Marty is so full of energy it feels like he's running away from Flo.
Florida Man:
Something got you down, homeslice?
Marty Donovan:
Nah. It's nothing.
Florida Man:
Ya wanna go toss some dwarves? Gaz tells me it's legal here. God bless Australia - the Florida of the North!
Marty Donovan:
No, I'm good...
Florida Man:
......It ain't like you to turn down the opportunity to pick on little people... are you sick, pal?
Marty Donovan:
It's just... our team.
Florida Man:
OH, you mean being the greatest team in the most active tag division on the Network, and STILL playing second banana to the ODS?
Marty Donovan:
No, I mean the whole Epcot thing... advertising that company is in my past, so us continuing to reference it - I know we're the champs, but it just seems like a slap in the face.
Florida Man:
Well JEEZ Marty... I wish you'd said something earlier, that ain't worth fretting over, we can TOTES change the name. Don't have to advertise THOSE guys-
Marty Donovan (nodding):
Thanks Flo, I know it shouldn't bother me but-
Rather than continuing this heart-to-heart and finally bonding as a team, Florida Man reaches out - snatching the camera away from the videographer. The image shakes for a few seconds as the Sunshine State Syko breaks both the third wall, and probably the camera, before pulling it into a tight close-up.
Florida Man:
YOOOOOOOOOO EPCOT NATION - to celebrate putting a nail in ODS' coffin, yo bois FloMa is changing our names, and we WANT YOUR HELP!
Marty Donovan:
Thay's okay, I think we are perfectly capable of doing this ourse-
Florida Man:
What should the Epcot Mafia change their name to?
Marty Donovan:
-Tinto is actually very good at coming up with-
Florida Man:
SO HEAD ON OVER TO THE XHF WEBSITE, they need the hits, and vote for the form (points at Marty then himself) that ODS' destroyers will take!
With that, the gator faced luchador give the camera a big thumbs up. Behind Flo, a miserable Marty Donovan seems decided less optimistic about this marketing scheme.