Death is but a Door (Bloodied Fox Rumble RP#5)
Apr 20, 2024 13:43:20 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Dave D-Flipz, and 1 more like this
Post by bloodiedfox on Apr 20, 2024 13:43:20 GMT -5
Bloodied Fox sat on the edge of the shore, staring out across the sea. He found he was doing that a lot lately. There was something about it that had caught in his mind since he had come back. The vastness. The totality that lay beneath the surface. An alien void.
Fox shook his head, realising he’d spaced out for a second. He’d had a thought but now it was gone, hidden away with only a faint and bitter aftertaste to tell there had ever been anything there. Can’t have been anything important. Certainly not as important as finishing this all off.
Another Rumble promo season draws to a close. This is the fourth one I’ve been in, the fifth I’ve witnessed, and I can honestly say I’ve never seen one so… subdued. I know that’s a weird thing to say given Dinosaur Bones is under existential threat for his dietary habits and The Sheik is running around murdering people…
He turned to give the camera a knowing look for the aside.
Seriously, not even Psychotic Goth does that anymore. Melodramatic hair tossing is easier and gets a better response.
…but I defy anyone whose been paying attention to dispute my claim. The richest prize in the XHF is up for grabs but it feels like there’s a cloud hanging overhead. Not really surprising given the good people we lost earlier this year, and in someways it’s been a blessing for me. I’ve had the chance to do vital introspection in the wake of everything that’s happened since I won last year. If only some other people had done the same…
Hi Death Trap, good work pissing away the moral high ground you had over me. I have not asked for your forgiveness because I know damn well that I am not entitled to it and that if it is ever earned in the future it will be done so by actions, not words. I teamed with you and your wife at A Night to Remember not just as a way to honour the memory of Steve Awesome and Tommy Strychnine but to extend an olive branch in the hope of peaceful co-existence on the Network. Against everyone’s expectations we didn’t come to blows that night and managed to pick up the win. A hopeful sign. Then you turn around and insult my husband and start ranting about how you’re going to redeem the Network by getting your revenge on me. There’s a guy going around killing people in promos but no, apparently the true evil that needs stopping is me. Newsflash DT: you aren’t stopping shit. You couldn’t beat me before and since you’ve gone and pissed me off by calling Brendan a simp you sure as fuck aren’t beating me now. I tried to do the right thing and you threw it back in my face, so now I have to teach you the lesson again, old man.
Speaking of lessons needing to be repeated, here’s Donzig once again, raving and screaming about how he remade me and how we were supposed to rule together as gods and how I cannot escape him and on and on and fucking on. This endless rambling about our intrinsic connection is made all the more laughable by the simple fact that I had already surpassed him before my first death, let alone before my second. All you have ever taught me, Donzig, is that results matter far more than rhetoric. For all you posture and preen as the ultimate evil of the XHF, you have achieved a mere fraction of what I have in both the light and the dark. So I would suggest, you little mutt, that you cease your barking before you bite off far more than you can chew.
You can keep singing though; I’m weirdly unbothered by that.
What does bother me though is the fact that to cover the loudest voices in this year’s Rumble promo cycle I actually have to talk about Noel Edmonds.
Fox tilted his head to the side for a few moments.
Nope, still can’t quite actually believe this is something I have to do. The guy who was presenting Multi-Coloured Swap Shop decades before I was born is a serious contender for the X*Crown. Not because he has any actual wrestling talent, mind you, but because he has the backing of an inhuman monster… and also Mr Blobby. Vladamir Putin is currently leading the war crimes tables, though Netanyahu is pushing him hard, so I’m sure we’ll all be dodging polonium darts and sniper bullets if we share a ring with Mr Deal or No Deal. Hardly seems fair, but given I entered my first XHF Rumble after having to go toe to toe with a robot bear in a ladder match I suppose I can’t honestly be too surprised now, can I? Guess the only thing for it is to get my hands on beardy arsehole and teach him the true cost of selling your soul to the Devil. Slava Ukraini.
Of course, there are quieter voices I’d be foolish not to keep an eye on. Sam Sawyer quite frankly worries the fuck out of me, moreso than Poena even. Kira Izumi needs therapy. I don’t care what anyone else says, I like Cheez’s memes. For someone who’s supposed to be an emotionless psychopath, Jack Gaines sure is a whiny little bitch.
And depressingly enough, ‘whiny’ leads us on to the one man we all need to beat, the man who currently holds the X*Crown, Spike Kane.
Fox sighed.
Seriously? Seriously Spike, that’s it? I get that the declaration that you’ll retire once you lose the title is meant to be this whole dramatic ‘blaze of glory’, but quite frankly what we got was more like the wheeze of air seeping from a corpse. An extended pity party where you went on and on complaining about backstage politics and gripes with bookers, not to mention the endless bitching about Anthony Caffrey. Between you and Donzig, I actually had to check to see if Mr Fireside was in this Rumble. Spoilers: he isn’t. Probably because he hasn’t been on the Network for two years now. If I spent the lion’s share of my promo time going on about Seth Dillinger, I’d like to think someone would point out it was an irrelevant waste of my time that could be better spent focusing on the people I’m actually facing.
Fox rubbed his face.
Fuck knows I hate to agree with Donzig on anything but you really are one foot out the door, aren’t you? Not only that, you’re pissing and moaning in the doorway. We just don’t give you enough praise; we’re all just jealous and bitter. Christ, I felt bad for Nelly having to sit there and listen to you go on and on. And of course, you just had to take your little potshots at me, spouting some bullshit that I don’t think I need to improve. Seriously, fuck off. You think I don’t know that this business is an ever-constant process of evolution? You think I’m stupid enough to think that you aren’t dangerous? Even in your last gasp you’re better than most. But then I’m not most, am I? I am Bloodied Fox.
His face set. A fire burned in his eyes now.
I am Bloodied Fox and however much of a legend you are…
…and you are…
…you have never been able to beat me. As much as you sneeringly tried to dismiss that as ‘sounding like Caffrey’, even you had to acknowledge that. You demand that the X*Crown be pried from your cold dead hands? Then so be it. I will end your illustrious career, and I will snatch from you the unprecedented achievement of being a two-time XHF Rumble winner. And as you walk away into retirement, the announcement of my triumph ringing in your ears, you will understand, just as everyone on this Network will understand, the inescapable truth:
This is my era now.
He turned to look at the camera once more, a cruel smile on his face.
All. Hail. Bloodied.
In the cold darkness, he feels claws pierce his flesh. He tries to scream but there is no sound, just as there is no vision.
Fox shook his head, realising he’d spaced out for a second. He’d had a thought but now it was gone, hidden away with only a faint and bitter aftertaste to tell there had ever been anything there. Can’t have been anything important. Certainly not as important as finishing this all off.
Another Rumble promo season draws to a close. This is the fourth one I’ve been in, the fifth I’ve witnessed, and I can honestly say I’ve never seen one so… subdued. I know that’s a weird thing to say given Dinosaur Bones is under existential threat for his dietary habits and The Sheik is running around murdering people…
He turned to give the camera a knowing look for the aside.
Seriously, not even Psychotic Goth does that anymore. Melodramatic hair tossing is easier and gets a better response.
…but I defy anyone whose been paying attention to dispute my claim. The richest prize in the XHF is up for grabs but it feels like there’s a cloud hanging overhead. Not really surprising given the good people we lost earlier this year, and in someways it’s been a blessing for me. I’ve had the chance to do vital introspection in the wake of everything that’s happened since I won last year. If only some other people had done the same…
Hi Death Trap, good work pissing away the moral high ground you had over me. I have not asked for your forgiveness because I know damn well that I am not entitled to it and that if it is ever earned in the future it will be done so by actions, not words. I teamed with you and your wife at A Night to Remember not just as a way to honour the memory of Steve Awesome and Tommy Strychnine but to extend an olive branch in the hope of peaceful co-existence on the Network. Against everyone’s expectations we didn’t come to blows that night and managed to pick up the win. A hopeful sign. Then you turn around and insult my husband and start ranting about how you’re going to redeem the Network by getting your revenge on me. There’s a guy going around killing people in promos but no, apparently the true evil that needs stopping is me. Newsflash DT: you aren’t stopping shit. You couldn’t beat me before and since you’ve gone and pissed me off by calling Brendan a simp you sure as fuck aren’t beating me now. I tried to do the right thing and you threw it back in my face, so now I have to teach you the lesson again, old man.
Speaking of lessons needing to be repeated, here’s Donzig once again, raving and screaming about how he remade me and how we were supposed to rule together as gods and how I cannot escape him and on and on and fucking on. This endless rambling about our intrinsic connection is made all the more laughable by the simple fact that I had already surpassed him before my first death, let alone before my second. All you have ever taught me, Donzig, is that results matter far more than rhetoric. For all you posture and preen as the ultimate evil of the XHF, you have achieved a mere fraction of what I have in both the light and the dark. So I would suggest, you little mutt, that you cease your barking before you bite off far more than you can chew.
You can keep singing though; I’m weirdly unbothered by that.
What does bother me though is the fact that to cover the loudest voices in this year’s Rumble promo cycle I actually have to talk about Noel Edmonds.
Fox tilted his head to the side for a few moments.
Nope, still can’t quite actually believe this is something I have to do. The guy who was presenting Multi-Coloured Swap Shop decades before I was born is a serious contender for the X*Crown. Not because he has any actual wrestling talent, mind you, but because he has the backing of an inhuman monster… and also Mr Blobby. Vladamir Putin is currently leading the war crimes tables, though Netanyahu is pushing him hard, so I’m sure we’ll all be dodging polonium darts and sniper bullets if we share a ring with Mr Deal or No Deal. Hardly seems fair, but given I entered my first XHF Rumble after having to go toe to toe with a robot bear in a ladder match I suppose I can’t honestly be too surprised now, can I? Guess the only thing for it is to get my hands on beardy arsehole and teach him the true cost of selling your soul to the Devil. Slava Ukraini.
Of course, there are quieter voices I’d be foolish not to keep an eye on. Sam Sawyer quite frankly worries the fuck out of me, moreso than Poena even. Kira Izumi needs therapy. I don’t care what anyone else says, I like Cheez’s memes. For someone who’s supposed to be an emotionless psychopath, Jack Gaines sure is a whiny little bitch.
And depressingly enough, ‘whiny’ leads us on to the one man we all need to beat, the man who currently holds the X*Crown, Spike Kane.
Fox sighed.
Seriously? Seriously Spike, that’s it? I get that the declaration that you’ll retire once you lose the title is meant to be this whole dramatic ‘blaze of glory’, but quite frankly what we got was more like the wheeze of air seeping from a corpse. An extended pity party where you went on and on complaining about backstage politics and gripes with bookers, not to mention the endless bitching about Anthony Caffrey. Between you and Donzig, I actually had to check to see if Mr Fireside was in this Rumble. Spoilers: he isn’t. Probably because he hasn’t been on the Network for two years now. If I spent the lion’s share of my promo time going on about Seth Dillinger, I’d like to think someone would point out it was an irrelevant waste of my time that could be better spent focusing on the people I’m actually facing.
Fox rubbed his face.
Fuck knows I hate to agree with Donzig on anything but you really are one foot out the door, aren’t you? Not only that, you’re pissing and moaning in the doorway. We just don’t give you enough praise; we’re all just jealous and bitter. Christ, I felt bad for Nelly having to sit there and listen to you go on and on. And of course, you just had to take your little potshots at me, spouting some bullshit that I don’t think I need to improve. Seriously, fuck off. You think I don’t know that this business is an ever-constant process of evolution? You think I’m stupid enough to think that you aren’t dangerous? Even in your last gasp you’re better than most. But then I’m not most, am I? I am Bloodied Fox.
His face set. A fire burned in his eyes now.
I am Bloodied Fox and however much of a legend you are…
…and you are…
…you have never been able to beat me. As much as you sneeringly tried to dismiss that as ‘sounding like Caffrey’, even you had to acknowledge that. You demand that the X*Crown be pried from your cold dead hands? Then so be it. I will end your illustrious career, and I will snatch from you the unprecedented achievement of being a two-time XHF Rumble winner. And as you walk away into retirement, the announcement of my triumph ringing in your ears, you will understand, just as everyone on this Network will understand, the inescapable truth:
This is my era now.
He turned to look at the camera once more, a cruel smile on his face.
All. Hail. Bloodied.