Mistress Discipline and the Top of the Bottom (RP2)

[h2f]

Mistress Discipline: Chaos. Let me pass. I need to speak with my husband.

Dr. Chaos, Top of the Class’s Manager and Mistress’s BFF, blocks the hallway with her arms spread open. Given that she is notably shorter and less muscularly inclined, it is unlikely she could stop Mistress if push came to tackle.

Dr. Chaos: Wait. Think this through. There’s a lot going on in there.

Mistress Discipline: Such as? I wish to speak at my husband. He needs to hear what I have to say.

Dr. Chaos: Funaki is in there and we’re actually making progress with him growing a spine. And your husband needs more than your voice.

Mistress considers this a moment and nods.

Mistress Discipline: Is the safe phrase in use?

Dr. Chaos: Of course. Same as last time.

Mistress Discipline: Then let me in. We will not discuss the bathroom incidence, or the oven light mistake.

A teenager approaching from behind Mistress freezes and then begins backing away slowly.

Mistress Discipline: Sarah, I can still hear you. Tell your mother this is about the rumble.

Sarah: ummm.

Mistress Discipline: See, she agrees with me. I will speak to his inner lion with my lioness.

Dr. Chaos: I thought you already did that today.

Sarah blocks her ears.

Sarah: Roar.

Mistress Discipline: Not. Like. That. Look, this is Funaki’s idea. And he is correct. Communication is the key to any relationship. I need to speak to him. He needs to understand what needs to happen. What lengths he needs to go to. We need this to happen.

Dr. Chaos: Remember who you are as a person and as a tag team. Don’t destroy one for the other.

Chaos steps to the side and Mistress Discipline steps past. She sighs when she sees sad Funaki dressed as both a poodle and a table by her husband. Embracing the plan to help him, she sits down on the coffee table.

Funaki: AGH! Pins and needles! Weight limit! What’s my safe word, what’s my safe word!?

Mistress Discipline: Be silent, Fluffy Table. I need to speak with my husband. This was your idea.

Mistress squirms to get comfortable and snags Death Trap’s hands for balance. He looks in her eyes and sinks onto the couch.

Mistress Discipline: Death Trap, why are you doing this?

Death Trap: Honey, wrestling is all I know. Being in the spotlight is what I’ve always done. This rumble is like my great white whale. Everyone else who got this close eventually won. AND now it’s for the X*Crown. Spike has had the rumble. Fox has won the rumble. I have come so unbelievably close. It is all I can think about.

He’s speaking with his hands again, which is usually a bad sign, but he is still holding eye contact, which is a good sign.

Mistress Discipline: No, you misunderstand. I know you want us to win the rumble. I understand that we need this X*Crown title. Why are you debasing yourself by imitating lesser men?

Death Trap breaks eye contact.

Death Trap: I mean, look at them having success. Fox and Spike have cheated death on several occasions, confirmed the existence of hell, proved that the safeguards to keep horrible people locked there are WOEFULLY lacking, and won the rumble AND the X*Crown because of it. Donzig has cheated death several times, though I’m convinced that the devil just doesn’t want the problems or the competition. He’s been a world champion and somehow keeps getting paid to appear all over the network. He’s clearly in demand, which is a close second to all the glory of winning!

Mistress touches his face to redirect his gaze into her eyes. This is her tag partner. Her life partner. The man who needs to be just as ruthless in the ring as she will need to remain.

Mistress Discipline: Death Trap, honey, do not give them the attention. They do not deserve our time, or your flattery. You give them too much credit by putting their names and mannerisms in your mouth. We do not need to copy success. We ARE a success. Others should be trying to imitate us.

Death Trap is stunned by this realization. She squeezes his hands and a small smile splashes across his features.

Death Trap: Yeah … yeah what the hell am I doing? No person without severe mercury or lead poisoning would think of Fox as a role model. Nobody that wasn’t severely brain damaged would look to Donzig as a rousing success. And nobody with a shred of human decency would think Spike was a better wrestler than US. They should be the ones mimicking US! Donzig should be out trying to be gracious, setting a good example. Spike should go dedicate some time to staffing a library. Fox should … well maybe he already does what we do in the bedro-

Mistress Discipline: THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT! We do not need that mental image. Private times are private for a reason! The point I am trying to make is that we are the benchmark of success. Others need to be looking up to us. This rumble match is no different. We will stand strong in that ring, side by side, and dominate these other lesser wrestlers into submission!

Funaki: SAFE … WORD!

Mistress Discipline: Be silent.

Funaki whines his frustration as the rage builds. Given how his limbs trembled, he should speak his mind in short order. Mistress leans, attempting to move her weight onto her own limbs.

Death Trap: It’s fine, he likes it. We have done so much together. This could be a turning point for how the future generations perceive our greatness. Writing our names into wrestling history. The best tag team, and the best rumble performance. True hall of fame worthy competitors. Nobody will remember Fox for his championships, he’s the guy who murdered a furry. Why isn’t HE getting arrested for a hate crime!?

Mistress nods.

Mistress Discipline: Yes and Donzig will forever be the man who wished to be king, but his skills were as real as the Emperor’s New Clothes.

Death Trap: Spike will forever be the third most relevant Bang Bro! As if anything of worth ever came from the British and Irish wrestling scenes.

Mistress Discipline: Yes! This is the Death Trap I wish to see! Nobody else in that rumble is at our level. We are as out of reach to them as the restricted section is to elementary schoolers!

Funaki: How out of reach is my safe word?

Death Trap: Be silent, Fuudle Man!

Funaki: You’re lucky you employ me or I would-

Death Trap reaches out with his foot to caress Mistresses leg. Unfortunately he misses and hits Funaki’s ribs. Funaki shudders but holds strong.

Mistress Discipline: Now listen. This is a start. I am happy to see that you are beginning to understand our worth. But there is more you need to change to your approach.

Death Trap: I don’t understand. Are you saying that I shouldn’t choke people out until they can’t fight back and hence are easy elimination fodder?

Mistress Discipline: No, that is still the proper strategy for our particular strengths. But you have been far too hesitant to take decisive action. You leave yourself open to retaliation and disappointment.

Death Trap: And how would you suggest I improve?

Funaki: By letting me up to use the restroom and get food?

Mistress Discipline: You knew the rules when we started this exercise.

Funaki: THEN WHAT IS MY SAFE-

Death Trap: BE SILENT! … It’s so hard to find good furniture these days.

Death Trap gestures and relaxes back on the couch. Mistress redistributes her weight to keep Death Trap in her sights.

Mistress Discipline: You have been playing too nice. It has become apparent that if we are to win this rumble, you will need to play by their rules. Remember when Fox dumped you out because you tried to save Zoran. Of all people, Zoran. And when Caffrey eliminated you because you wouldn’t play a little dirty?

Death Trap: I do recall feeling a little better when you kicked him in his “sensitive bits”. But the fans rely on me. I am their paragon, their role model.

Mistress Discipline: And they can forgive you for that if they actually care. They can cheer with us when we win and stand tall with the X*Crown title. And if they do not support our success, then they were not worthy of your care to begin with. True fans will respect your choices and understand that I know what is best for our success.

Death Trap moves to stand but remains seated as he mentally leaves the room.

Death Trap: You know, I have been noticing some very rude fans lately. It’s almost like they support Fox over me. After all I’ve given, after all the work I put in, and all the pain I put myself through to make things better for the fans. I see people unironically liking Dylan Black, Zoran Sainovic, and Bloodied Fox.

Funaki: What about SWAT or Donzig?

Death Trap: OH no, no, no, no, no, not that bad. It’d be a cold day in hell. Like Donzig winning the X*Crown or Sawyer actually pleasing their nonexistent bondage God.

Mistress blinks at Death Trap. Is he still discussing the wrestling ring?

Mistress Discipline: Bondage God?

Death Trap: Long story. Sam Sawyer is basically an escaped mental patient. They want to be the favorite of some imaginary deity that told Poena it was wise to remove a woman’s tongue, pour boiling water in a guy’s ear, pop out a man’s eye, and try to kidnap Jack Diamond’s kid. Real sick shit and they want to be a part of it. Talk about losing all claim to any respect from reasonable people.

Mistress nods. He is discussing wrestling.

Mistress Discipline: The point is, this event calls for killer instinct. I do not want to come out of this with you being depressed again. I need you to be the man I married. I need to make another calendar with the title. I do not want to hear about this Goth roaring, I want my personal Panthera leo to roar with pride!

Her fist rises with pride.

Death Trap: I understand. I need to tap into that primal-

She shakes her head.

Mistress Discipline: No no, no Primal.

Death Trap raises a surprised eyebrow.

Death Trap: Uh sure, I need to tap into the fierce predator that I know I can be. I give up for no man. I need to be the epitome of excellence in the ring. We will stand tall at the end, the two of us side by side. And then-

Mistress Discipline: And then you can step over the ropes as I hoist my first X*Crown title!

Death Trap surges to his feet.

Death Trap: YEAAAH- Wait … what? But … my … spotlight and glory. You wanted to build me up. I … can’t just … quit. I have given up exactly one time in the last … eighteen years? And that was extenuating circumstances! BUGS! I can’t just … give up, it’s not in my vocabulary! I replaced the give up emote with the “floss” emote!

He shows her his dental floss and swings his hips capturing her attention.

Funaki: I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE! THAT IS SO WRONG! GET UP SO I CAN-

Mistress Discipline: FUNAKI!

Funaki: I know I know, be silent fluffy couch.

Mistress leaps to her feet as Death Trap removes the tabletop.

Mistress Discipline: Oh my, are you ok? That was a good run. You are improving.

Death Trap nods.

Death Trap: You held out like a champ!

Funaki: … What? But why did … oh … safe … WHY WAS MY SAFE WORD CHANGED TO BE SILENT!?

Mistress Discipline: Is that REALLY your only question?

*** Some time later ***

A worried Sarah stands beside Mistress as Death Trap enters the room with a smoothie.

Mistress Discipline: Honey, have you seen Chaos?

Death Trap: Last I saw she was barricaded in the dark gym.

Mistress Discipline: Oh good, the lights off.

Sarah: Question!