The Evil Reality of Lord Dominicus: Lost Contacts

[Mongo the Destroyer]

“So uh, do you want to talk about it?”

“THE REAL” Lord Dominicus
DARK LORD OF WUK

“No, not particularly. But…”

*Sigh.*

“Yeah ok I guess.”

It was a normal day; I was getting ready for my match against Psychotic Goth, surely one of the most important matches of his life.

*Despite what he says we see Lord Dominicus polishing the DominiCruiser. Suddenly the Star Trekker runs to him.*

Trekker: NO TIME TO TALK THE WORLD IS AT STAKE!

LD: Sure sure, right after I fini-

Trekker: NOW!

“THE REAL” Lord Dominicus
Only Ever NPW Triple Crown Champion

“So next thing I knew we were in the DominiCruiser, I hadn’t even though to make the interloper ride in her shuttle crap or whatever. By the way did you see that Goth kept referencing my ability to make portals? What the heck does that even mean? Can I do that? Where does it say I can do that? Anyway she had me drive to some sort of warehouse in the middle of nowhere.”

And inside the warehouse we found…

*The two of them rush into a mostly empty warehouse, it could be the Willy Wonka experience in Scottland if we didn’t know that Dominicus drove there. There they run into J-ROK non-debut and current Paramount+ spokesperson, CSI-Bok.*

Trekker: CSI-Bok, stop! This isn’t what you want to do!

*He cocks a gun and looks at the former Paramount+ spokesperson, The Star Trekker.*

CSI-Bok: Don’t try to stop me, I have to do this.

Trekker: Noooo-

The Who: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

*CSI-Bok puts on his sunglasses causing The Who’s “Won’t Get Fooled Again” to play, drowning out anything Trekker might say.*

And after that he dashed to the back and jumped through a mysterious portal.

“Wait, hold on, did you say portal?”

“THE REAL” Lord Dominicus
Is probably still owed another title match

“Shut up. I know. I didn’t make it, ok? So the next thing I know she’s dragging me through the portal after her deranged replacement. I tried to explain to her that inter-dimensional adventures was more of a Lady Dominicus thing but she doesn’t listen to anyone except for Cabin Jameswheigh.”

“Captain Janeway?”

“Ugh not you too.”

*The two spill out onto a sidewalk. Above them the screen reads, “Los Angeles 1963.”*

We went on a stupid chase after that stupid guy with the gun. I tried to ask her how any of this had anything to do with Psychotic Goth but she didn’t care; she was a woman on a mission. Right when we were on his heels…

*A door is kicked open, into the venue walks CSI-Bok.*

CSI-Bok: Where is Gene Roddenberry!? I demand to see him!

*The camera pans over to a young but honestly not that young-looking because it’s the 60’s man sitting at a table.*

Roddenberry: That’s me.

Luckily before Idiot-Stick shot Whoever Whoever, Whatsherface tackled him. I wasn’t really paying attention at the time because I had more important things to do.

*Lord Dominicus wanders off as Trekker lays left and rights into the Paramount+ representative. Gene Roddenberry just watches, he kind of likes the strong woman character in front of him. After a few punches though, Trekker notices Gene Roddenberry and runs to him.*

Trekker: Oh my gosh, this is such an honor! To think that you’d put a strong black woman in space is just…it’s so amazing!

*There’s a blank look in the creator of Star Trek’s eyes that says he has no idea what she’s talking about as he nods along.*

Roddenberry: Well thanks miss, I’m glad that my efforts to bring more color to TV through “The Lieutenant” is appreciated.

Trekker: Wait, “The Lieutenant?” What year is this?

CSI-Bok: I must stop Star Trek from happening!

*Unfortunately none of this gets properly resolved because over everything else we hear…*

LD: HOW DARE YOU!? DO I LOOK LIKE I’M SOME HOLLYWOOD WANNA-BE!? I’m LORD DOMINICUS! I’m the BLACKEST OF ALL DARKNESS!

*He points at whoever must have confused him for a aspiring actor.*

LD: And at Legacy 25 I’m going to beat the tar out of Psychotic Goth so that NOBODY will EVER AGAIN question Wrestle: rarely-in-the United Kingdom’s VANTABLACK SAVIOR! He thinks his heart is black, THERE ARE NONE BLACKER THAN LORD DOMINICUS!

*Some slack-jawed idiot saunters into the frame.*

Bigot: Oh you love black huh? What are you, a [CENSORED]-lover? Why don’t you take off your mask and tell us how much you love them darkies, hmm?

*Dominicus wheels around on his foot and gets in the man’s face.*

LD: Oh yeah? How about you take off your Klan mask next time you commit a hate crime.

“THE REAL” Lord Dominicus
Was probably not actually the blackest person in the room at the time.

"Ugh what a mess. So Trekker tried to put herself between me and the half-wit, trying to stop a fight breaking out. The guy took umbrage at her- a person of color- talking to him. Then CSI-Bok- yeah he’s named after the murder show- took umbrage at the racist being racist to her and punched him out. Coolest part of that day."

Trekker: AHHHH! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!? You’ve altered history! THE FUTURE COULD BE RUINED!

*An alarm goes off on the large living CSI guy.*

CSI-Bok: Crap, not enough time, the portal will close soon!

LD: None of this is helping me prepare for Psychotic Go-

*Dominicus is pulled along ranting as the three of the time-travelers quickly exit the premises.*

Roddenberry: A strong black woman in space....? Oh that's good. What's the term that I heard that other guy say? Star.....Trek? Like a walk in the stars? Oh man, I gotta write this down...

“THE REAL” Lord Dominicus
Wanted more promo time

“Yeah I’m pretty sure she ruined the future, but Trekker didn’t care because Star Trek exists still. Anyway we got back to the present and the portal self-destructed. I’m upset because I didn’t get more time to promo for my match. Stupid adventures…"