Post by Dave D-Flipz on Jun 14, 2024 22:01:29 GMT -5
“DOOFENSHMIRTZ EVIL INCORPORATED!!”
*Atop an adjacent rooftop…*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: Yes, with new targeting, effects should wear off big dope.
Burninator: Thissssss should be goooooood.
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: No… this be … HORRIBLE! BAHAHAHAHA!
*As we move away from the two lurking figures of the archenemies of the most beloved Angry Mad Chemists, Rd. Food and the Burninator, we find our plucky bunch of evildoers doing evil in the pluckiest ways they can think of.*
Ovi: NOO! YOU AWFUL MONSTER!
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: You deserve this Ovi. You dis-yodel odel odel-obeyed me! You must be punished for making my inator look ineffective!
*Dr. Doof has Ovi bent over his knee. He raises his hand … and inside is a pair of tweezers. He reaches down and plucks out another moustache hair!*
Ovi: GAHHH FAMILY FRIENDLY EXPLETIVE! You will know this pain yourself. I WILL MAKE SURE OF *poink* YOOOOOWWWWWWCH! *sobs*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: I don’t even HAVE facial hair Ovi. I … wait … didn’t I have a black beard last month? Did I get sudden onset alopecia of the chin? Did Perry the Platypus sneak in and NAIR me overnight? I bet it was Roger. My brother always was jealous of my ability to … uh … no no wait, he was never jealous of me … BUT HE’D TOTALLY SHAVE ME IN THE NIGHT!
Phroooaggh: …Why are we watching this?
Ian: I’m a lonely chaotician who takes excitement where he can … what’s your excuse?
*As Ovi has his moustache plucked one hair at a time, Ian and PHROOOAGGH watch in … revulsion? Amusement? Mild boredom and malaise? SUDDENLY! The door to the meeting room from the cafeteria/kitchen/discotheque slams open and we hear a mid-pitch cackle! Out steps a laughing William Lastname in full on science gear. He has on his black lens science steampunk goggles, his blond hair is perfectly spiked up, his gloves are thick, black, and vinyl. His boots are closed toed and chemical resistant with non-slip soles. And his lab coat is a stylish flowing EEEEVIL crimson. A few shades bloodier and eviler red than his usual one. In his hands he holds the yodelinator! He crushes it … or he tries to … he isn’t very strong still. He slams it to the ground and leaps onto it full force and it crushes*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: NOOO! MY INATOR! How could you!? Wait then what am I wearing?
*He grabs for his cowboy hat inator but pulls a fez off his head.*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: I’m uh … not sure how I missed that. That would totally explain why you didn’t yodel-
Billy: ENOUGH! We plotted this during the race. It took very little to swap the hats once we got you to tell us a flashback about Gimmelshtump! I swear it’s like you dissolve into a vision in the clouds inside your head. Nothing in this reality breaks your immersion. I must admit, it’s interesting to see your mind work … when it works. I was able to coopt the power source of your larger yodelinator to power my freeze ray 2.0. Now with 100% less self-destruct capabilities! For too long you have held us back with your small-minded goals, small-brain plans, and infantile attitude. It’s time for a new science to reign. Doctor Horrible science! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Ovi: Well played old boy. Now let’s-
Billy: SILENCE! I will not be spoken to like some child. I am the only one of us who has ever SUCCEEDED in an evil plan before. You should all be listening to MY ideas and worshipping at the altar of ME!
Ian: *aside to Phroooaggh* Does uh … his um … gluteus look more maximus to you?
*A zap from the freeze ray onto Ian stuns him into place.*
Billy: No whispers, no witty banter. You all listen to me now. We WILL rule this company and the whole Network. And then we will take over the world. But for this to work, we need to get something from Memaw. We need to control the prize of her company so she has to come crawling to us to support the next season. And then we can leverage her. The ENTIRE CAR COMMITTEE will soon have a few more … science-minded … folks on it. Ovi … get the weapons running at 200% capacity. Doof, figure out how to make your accursed fluff shooter do actual damage. Phroooaggh … let’s see what you can dig up on the “benevolent benefactor of CAR”. I will study the track and make sure no obstacle, beetle, or toddler will be able to stop us.
Ovi: I’m in awe. An actual plan. Ok then, let’s play this one out.
Ian: …….. un ……… freeze ………………….. please. Lungs …… exploding.
*Billy rolls his eyes and clicks a button on his freeze ray, releasing Ian.*
Billy: This is so much easier without needing Wonderflonium.
1. Do you see any birds?
Billy: Not if they want to continue moving! My freeze ray will handle any avian interference!
2. What just went splat on the windshield?
Ovi: William, my boy, you seem to have some uh … schmutz on the windshield.
Ian: It looks like … chia seed gel?
Billy: BLAST THAT MEMAW! This car doesn’t look remotely like a president’s head … OR a hedgehog…
3. What kind of seed hits the vehicle?
Billy: I have finally got the chia off the windshield and JEEBUS!
Ovi: I do believe that was an avocado pit. Memaw is playing for keeps this time.
Ian: She sure does enjoy hitting us with seeds used in science class to grow plants … at least she doesn’t have a potato cannon.
Ovi: Billy! She’s arming the potato cannons!
Billy: … … Balls …
4. How will your team respond to winning?
Billy: YES! Now BOW before your new CAR ruler! Nobody can question the horrible Doctor anymore!
5. How will your team respond to not winning?
Billy: Grrrr! This racetrack is going to BURN! BURN! … Where did we hide the flammables to keep Norm out of them again?
*Atop an adjacent rooftop…*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: Yes, with new targeting, effects should wear off big dope.
Burninator: Thissssss should be goooooood.
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: No… this be … HORRIBLE! BAHAHAHAHA!
*As we move away from the two lurking figures of the archenemies of the most beloved Angry Mad Chemists, Rd. Food and the Burninator, we find our plucky bunch of evildoers doing evil in the pluckiest ways they can think of.*
Ovi: NOO! YOU AWFUL MONSTER!
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: You deserve this Ovi. You dis-yodel odel odel-obeyed me! You must be punished for making my inator look ineffective!
*Dr. Doof has Ovi bent over his knee. He raises his hand … and inside is a pair of tweezers. He reaches down and plucks out another moustache hair!*
Ovi: GAHHH FAMILY FRIENDLY EXPLETIVE! You will know this pain yourself. I WILL MAKE SURE OF *poink* YOOOOOWWWWWWCH! *sobs*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: I don’t even HAVE facial hair Ovi. I … wait … didn’t I have a black beard last month? Did I get sudden onset alopecia of the chin? Did Perry the Platypus sneak in and NAIR me overnight? I bet it was Roger. My brother always was jealous of my ability to … uh … no no wait, he was never jealous of me … BUT HE’D TOTALLY SHAVE ME IN THE NIGHT!
Phroooaggh: …Why are we watching this?
Ian: I’m a lonely chaotician who takes excitement where he can … what’s your excuse?
*As Ovi has his moustache plucked one hair at a time, Ian and PHROOOAGGH watch in … revulsion? Amusement? Mild boredom and malaise? SUDDENLY! The door to the meeting room from the cafeteria/kitchen/discotheque slams open and we hear a mid-pitch cackle! Out steps a laughing William Lastname in full on science gear. He has on his black lens science steampunk goggles, his blond hair is perfectly spiked up, his gloves are thick, black, and vinyl. His boots are closed toed and chemical resistant with non-slip soles. And his lab coat is a stylish flowing EEEEVIL crimson. A few shades bloodier and eviler red than his usual one. In his hands he holds the yodelinator! He crushes it … or he tries to … he isn’t very strong still. He slams it to the ground and leaps onto it full force and it crushes*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: NOOO! MY INATOR! How could you!? Wait then what am I wearing?
*He grabs for his cowboy hat inator but pulls a fez off his head.*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: I’m uh … not sure how I missed that. That would totally explain why you didn’t yodel-
Billy: ENOUGH! We plotted this during the race. It took very little to swap the hats once we got you to tell us a flashback about Gimmelshtump! I swear it’s like you dissolve into a vision in the clouds inside your head. Nothing in this reality breaks your immersion. I must admit, it’s interesting to see your mind work … when it works. I was able to coopt the power source of your larger yodelinator to power my freeze ray 2.0. Now with 100% less self-destruct capabilities! For too long you have held us back with your small-minded goals, small-brain plans, and infantile attitude. It’s time for a new science to reign. Doctor Horrible science! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Ovi: Well played old boy. Now let’s-
Billy: SILENCE! I will not be spoken to like some child. I am the only one of us who has ever SUCCEEDED in an evil plan before. You should all be listening to MY ideas and worshipping at the altar of ME!
Ian: *aside to Phroooaggh* Does uh … his um … gluteus look more maximus to you?
*A zap from the freeze ray onto Ian stuns him into place.*
Billy: No whispers, no witty banter. You all listen to me now. We WILL rule this company and the whole Network. And then we will take over the world. But for this to work, we need to get something from Memaw. We need to control the prize of her company so she has to come crawling to us to support the next season. And then we can leverage her. The ENTIRE CAR COMMITTEE will soon have a few more … science-minded … folks on it. Ovi … get the weapons running at 200% capacity. Doof, figure out how to make your accursed fluff shooter do actual damage. Phroooaggh … let’s see what you can dig up on the “benevolent benefactor of CAR”. I will study the track and make sure no obstacle, beetle, or toddler will be able to stop us.
Ovi: I’m in awe. An actual plan. Ok then, let’s play this one out.
Ian: …….. un ……… freeze ………………….. please. Lungs …… exploding.
*Billy rolls his eyes and clicks a button on his freeze ray, releasing Ian.*
Billy: This is so much easier without needing Wonderflonium.
1. Do you see any birds?
Billy: Not if they want to continue moving! My freeze ray will handle any avian interference!
2. What just went splat on the windshield?
Ovi: William, my boy, you seem to have some uh … schmutz on the windshield.
Ian: It looks like … chia seed gel?
Billy: BLAST THAT MEMAW! This car doesn’t look remotely like a president’s head … OR a hedgehog…
3. What kind of seed hits the vehicle?
Billy: I have finally got the chia off the windshield and JEEBUS!
Ovi: I do believe that was an avocado pit. Memaw is playing for keeps this time.
Ian: She sure does enjoy hitting us with seeds used in science class to grow plants … at least she doesn’t have a potato cannon.
Ovi: Billy! She’s arming the potato cannons!
Billy: … … Balls …
4. How will your team respond to winning?
Billy: YES! Now BOW before your new CAR ruler! Nobody can question the horrible Doctor anymore!
5. How will your team respond to not winning?
Billy: Grrrr! This racetrack is going to BURN! BURN! … Where did we hide the flammables to keep Norm out of them again?
