Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Jul 21, 2024 6:42:32 GMT -5
*We open on a sign above what appears to be a community center.*
*There’s a long line of odd-looking guys as two men stand guard outside to make sure no riff raff (other than that being tried-out today) get in. The two guards are dressed in all black business suits with black sunglasses….though, something seems familiar about them. One of the men appears to be casually drunk while the other looks like a fat clown (wearing sunglasses of course)…strange days these are indeed. One masked man is pushing his way through the crowd and gets stopped for a moment by the guards, but they quickly let him pass through the hordes of other freaks. We cut to inside.*
*Behind a card table sits Lord Dominicus, he is looking over a resume very carefully. The camera moves around to see that it is of one Mr. Mysterio. Soon, a voice comes from the other side of the resume (though it’s obscured to us as we’re looking at this from Lord Dominicus’ viewpoint.*
“Ok, ok, I’m here, why did you call me?”
Lord Dominicus: Yes, yes, everyone seems to think that I called them here personally. C’mon guy, can’t you see the line? I just sent out flyers.
“What?! You can’t talk to me like that! I’m your partner.”
Lord Dominicus: Well, I think partner is a little Xtreme, I mean, yes, you and I have worked for NCW at the same time, but I don’t think we’ve even ever met before.
*A hand pulls the resume in front of LD’s face down. LD looks at the perpetrator, Dominicus (Rob Diamond).*
Lord Dominicus: Hmmm, I guess you kind of look like your picture, but you seemed a lot bigger on TV.
*Dominicus slaps Lord Dominicus.*
Dominicus: IT’S ME, ROB DI-
Lord Dominicus: You can’t use that name.
*Dominicus sighs.*
Dominicus: Ugh….Dominicus.
*Lord Dominicus smiles.*
Lord Dominicus: Well why didn’t you say so? I’ve been up to my eyes in lunatics who want to hench with us and after a while they all start to look the same, one guy even looked exactly like you except he couldn’t really talk which I found to be a little more than annoying.
Dominicus: And why are we getting henchmen?
Lord Dominicus: Isn’t it obvious? We’re two single evil dudes just trying to make it in the big city- you gotta get guys to do your dirty work.
*Dominicus starts to confusedly mouth to himself “Single evil dudes?”*
Lord Dominicus: Besides, it’s in the first chapter of the book on being the master of all that is evil.
Dominicus: What book?
Lord Dominicus: This book.
*LD holds up a book with a scary blood-spattered cover that reads “How to Be the Master of All That is Evil by L. Dominicus.”*
Dominicus: …You wrote a book?
Lord Dominicus: Clearly I have.
Dominicus: …Over the weekend?
Lord Dominicus: Yes.
Dominicus: ….Under the name of Lord Dominicus?
Lord Dominicus: I figured if it didn’t sell well I could blame it on you.
Dominicus: …And got it published already?
Lord Dominicus: Yeah, [REDACTED] is a great salesma- er, I mean, I HAVE NOT SPOKEN ABOUT THE ONE THEY CALL [REDACTED] [REDACTED], FOR I, LORD DOMINICUS NEED NO HELP!
*There’s a large groan from the hopeful henchmen and they all start to leave, quickly Lord Dominicus jumps onto the table.*
Lord Dominicus: Wait, wait! Guys! I didn’t mean it like that! Geez, calm down!
*LD looks down at his partner.*
Lord Dominicus: Where was I now?
Dominicus: Explaining how you got published.
Lord Dominicus: Ah yes, it was like it was yesterday; actually, I think it was.
*We do a sideways wipe to….*
*…..a very average looking office without windows? A businessman sits at his desk, he looks at his papers, taking stock of his next appointment.*
Man: *Sigh* “Lord Dominicus” oh god, another freak trying to get something stupid published.
*He sighs again as he pushes a button on his phone.*
Man: Jenny, send in Mr. Dominicus, I’m ready for him now.
*The door flies open in dramatic fashion as thick black smoke pours into the room soon followed by the one and only master of darkness, LORD DOMINICUS- who is holding a sack of some sort.*
Man: Oh great, lemme guess, your manuscript is in the bag, totally unorganized.
Lord Dominicus: What? This? No no, I didn’t even bring the manuscript.
Man: How are you expecting to get published without bringing that sort of thing in?
Lord Dominicus: Because after you see what’s in the bag, I’m sure you’ll publish me.
*The man sighs yet again.*
Man: Alright, let’s see it.
*Lord Dominicus reaches into the bag and pulls out a severed goat’s head. The businessman clearly does not like this idea. LD leans over the man’s desk, brandishing the head in his face.*
Lord Dominicus: GAZE INTO ITS UNHOLY EYES AND SEE YOUR FAMILY WRITHING IN PAIN! THIS WILL BE THEIR FATE IF YOU DO NOT MEET MY DEMANDS!
*He promptly drops the goat head onto the desk and the man looks into the eyes of said head. Soon he rushes back against the wall, screaming.*
Lord Dominicus: YOU SHALL DO AS I COMMAND!
Man: Yes….yes….sir…..
*The man continues to cower as Lord Dominicus laughs.*
Lord Dominicus: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
*He moves back a little bit to turn the light switch on and off for dramatic effect.*
Lord Dominicus: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
*We quickly wipe back to LD and Dominicus back where we left them pre-story. Lord Dominicus stands ruthlessly on his table and Dominicus sort of blankly stares. After a few moments of silence the “other” Dominicus speaks.*
Dominicus: Um….so…I take it you haven’t been preparing for our big match this week, have you?
*Lord Dominicus casually lays down on his side on the table, putting his head on one of his hands. This position also oddly accentuates a previously unseen codpiece. What? Evil people wear them sometimes.*
Dominicus: Are you wearing a codpiece?
Lord Dominicus: What? Bad guys wear codpieces sometimes.
Dominicus: Like who?
Lord Dominicus: David Bowie in Labyrinth.
Dominicus: I don’t think he does, and more importantly David Bowie is not really the sort of evil mastermind you should be modeling yourself after.
Lord Dominicus: Ok, ok, we can talk about my giant-but-accurate codpiece all day or we could get down to brass tacks. Now, you were asking about our opponents, right?
Dominicus: Yes.
*Lord Dominicus stands back up on the table again, and even paces a little.*
Lord Dominicus: Now, when I saw that Karras and Ampersand-
Dominicus: Tempestad
Lord Dominicus: Whatever, when I saw that those two were the ones who made it to the second round to face off against us, there was only one word that came to my mind.
*He paces a little for dramatic effect before finally stopping and looking out at the horde of potential henchmen.*
Lord Dominicus: Fitting. It is truly fitting that those of faith and those of better faith have been forced to perform gladiatorial duties upon each other. You see, come Sunday our church-going rivals shall be in good company. You see, we two too have strong beliefs. We are a pair of church-go-ers as well. Now Mr. Karras, you may pray to god and bleed on bibles and do things that might make the average man of your cloth sick. However, we are more devout than that. My partner and I worship the one true lord, the lord of darkness that is. THE ONE THEY CALL LORD DOMINICUS!
*Lord Dominicus holds up his fist in some sort of grand pose….maybe a little too long before continuing.*
Lord Dominicus: Karras, you may be a disciple to your lord, but you are facing not one, but two lords yourself. Your faith means nothing to our sheer Lord-based power! I mean, come on do you two really think you can take us on? We have on one side a preacher and a converted luchadore, on the other you have LORD DOMINICUS! No, no, LORD DOMINICUS X TWO!
*Yes, he actually said “x.”*
Lord Dominicus: Now Tenpercent-
Dominicus: Tempestad.
Lord Dominicus: Whatever, Tenpercent, you seem to be a fair player. But I know personally, that every man, deep down in his heart burns for that win some times. And in this situation, I am more than certain that you deeply want to shove my mask down my throat and make me eat every divine word that has thus far left my mouth. But hear this, my friend.
*Lord Dominicus looks directly at the camera and even points to it.*
Lord Dominicus: If you steal from the church of Dominicus, there shalt be a pox on you and your house for the rest of your days. That’s right, if you steal a victory, a curse shall fall upon not only you but your family as well, all of them as I know most Mexicans have large families. I know you also care about said family. You are messing with dark powers my friend, dark, evil, powers. –Times two. You have no idea the sort of things we can do to your family; the kinds of things that two angry men can do to your mother while you can only watch and not stop. Sick, awful things. Do you want to do that to your mother, or sister, or anyone else in your family? You see, your partner, Karras, he doesn’t care about your family, he’ll do whatever it takes to win against us. He’ll put a pox onto your house without a second thought. But me, er, we…
*He gets down on one knee, reaching out at the camera.*
Lord Dominicus: We care, Temperature.
Dominicus: *Sigh* Tempestad.
Lord Dominicus: Let us convert you to the dark side, the warm side, the side of Dominicus. I mean, come on, who are you in better hands with, a crazy preacher, or a crazy god? The choice is pretty much a no-brainer. There is only one choice for you….
*The Dark Lord returns to his feet and looks around at the crowd.*
Lord Dominicus: And for the rest of you too! Lest there be a pox upon all of your homes, BOW DOWN TO LORD DOMINICUS…um…BOTH OF THEM!
*The gaggle of probable henches cheer and begin bowing. Then Dominicus does something, or the camera fades, whatever he’s up for.*
HENCHMAN TRYOUTS TODAY!
Get your hench on!
Get your hench on!
*There’s a long line of odd-looking guys as two men stand guard outside to make sure no riff raff (other than that being tried-out today) get in. The two guards are dressed in all black business suits with black sunglasses….though, something seems familiar about them. One of the men appears to be casually drunk while the other looks like a fat clown (wearing sunglasses of course)…strange days these are indeed. One masked man is pushing his way through the crowd and gets stopped for a moment by the guards, but they quickly let him pass through the hordes of other freaks. We cut to inside.*
*Behind a card table sits Lord Dominicus, he is looking over a resume very carefully. The camera moves around to see that it is of one Mr. Mysterio. Soon, a voice comes from the other side of the resume (though it’s obscured to us as we’re looking at this from Lord Dominicus’ viewpoint.*
“Ok, ok, I’m here, why did you call me?”
Lord Dominicus: Yes, yes, everyone seems to think that I called them here personally. C’mon guy, can’t you see the line? I just sent out flyers.
“What?! You can’t talk to me like that! I’m your partner.”
Lord Dominicus: Well, I think partner is a little Xtreme, I mean, yes, you and I have worked for NCW at the same time, but I don’t think we’ve even ever met before.
*A hand pulls the resume in front of LD’s face down. LD looks at the perpetrator, Dominicus (Rob Diamond).*
Lord Dominicus: Hmmm, I guess you kind of look like your picture, but you seemed a lot bigger on TV.
*Dominicus slaps Lord Dominicus.*
Dominicus: IT’S ME, ROB DI-
Lord Dominicus: You can’t use that name.
*Dominicus sighs.*
Dominicus: Ugh….Dominicus.
*Lord Dominicus smiles.*
Lord Dominicus: Well why didn’t you say so? I’ve been up to my eyes in lunatics who want to hench with us and after a while they all start to look the same, one guy even looked exactly like you except he couldn’t really talk which I found to be a little more than annoying.
Dominicus: And why are we getting henchmen?
Lord Dominicus: Isn’t it obvious? We’re two single evil dudes just trying to make it in the big city- you gotta get guys to do your dirty work.
*Dominicus starts to confusedly mouth to himself “Single evil dudes?”*
Lord Dominicus: Besides, it’s in the first chapter of the book on being the master of all that is evil.
Dominicus: What book?
Lord Dominicus: This book.
*LD holds up a book with a scary blood-spattered cover that reads “How to Be the Master of All That is Evil by L. Dominicus.”*
Dominicus: …You wrote a book?
Lord Dominicus: Clearly I have.
Dominicus: …Over the weekend?
Lord Dominicus: Yes.
Dominicus: ….Under the name of Lord Dominicus?
Lord Dominicus: I figured if it didn’t sell well I could blame it on you.
Dominicus: …And got it published already?
Lord Dominicus: Yeah, [REDACTED] is a great salesma- er, I mean, I HAVE NOT SPOKEN ABOUT THE ONE THEY CALL [REDACTED] [REDACTED], FOR I, LORD DOMINICUS NEED NO HELP!
*There’s a large groan from the hopeful henchmen and they all start to leave, quickly Lord Dominicus jumps onto the table.*
Lord Dominicus: Wait, wait! Guys! I didn’t mean it like that! Geez, calm down!
*LD looks down at his partner.*
Lord Dominicus: Where was I now?
Dominicus: Explaining how you got published.
Lord Dominicus: Ah yes, it was like it was yesterday; actually, I think it was.
*We do a sideways wipe to….*
*…..a very average looking office without windows? A businessman sits at his desk, he looks at his papers, taking stock of his next appointment.*
Man: *Sigh* “Lord Dominicus” oh god, another freak trying to get something stupid published.
*He sighs again as he pushes a button on his phone.*
Man: Jenny, send in Mr. Dominicus, I’m ready for him now.
*The door flies open in dramatic fashion as thick black smoke pours into the room soon followed by the one and only master of darkness, LORD DOMINICUS- who is holding a sack of some sort.*
Man: Oh great, lemme guess, your manuscript is in the bag, totally unorganized.
Lord Dominicus: What? This? No no, I didn’t even bring the manuscript.
Man: How are you expecting to get published without bringing that sort of thing in?
Lord Dominicus: Because after you see what’s in the bag, I’m sure you’ll publish me.
*The man sighs yet again.*
Man: Alright, let’s see it.
*Lord Dominicus reaches into the bag and pulls out a severed goat’s head. The businessman clearly does not like this idea. LD leans over the man’s desk, brandishing the head in his face.*
Lord Dominicus: GAZE INTO ITS UNHOLY EYES AND SEE YOUR FAMILY WRITHING IN PAIN! THIS WILL BE THEIR FATE IF YOU DO NOT MEET MY DEMANDS!
*He promptly drops the goat head onto the desk and the man looks into the eyes of said head. Soon he rushes back against the wall, screaming.*
Lord Dominicus: YOU SHALL DO AS I COMMAND!
Man: Yes….yes….sir…..
*The man continues to cower as Lord Dominicus laughs.*
Lord Dominicus: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
*He moves back a little bit to turn the light switch on and off for dramatic effect.*
Lord Dominicus: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
*We quickly wipe back to LD and Dominicus back where we left them pre-story. Lord Dominicus stands ruthlessly on his table and Dominicus sort of blankly stares. After a few moments of silence the “other” Dominicus speaks.*
Dominicus: Um….so…I take it you haven’t been preparing for our big match this week, have you?
*Lord Dominicus casually lays down on his side on the table, putting his head on one of his hands. This position also oddly accentuates a previously unseen codpiece. What? Evil people wear them sometimes.*
Dominicus: Are you wearing a codpiece?
Lord Dominicus: What? Bad guys wear codpieces sometimes.
Dominicus: Like who?
Lord Dominicus: David Bowie in Labyrinth.
Dominicus: I don’t think he does, and more importantly David Bowie is not really the sort of evil mastermind you should be modeling yourself after.
Lord Dominicus: Ok, ok, we can talk about my giant-but-accurate codpiece all day or we could get down to brass tacks. Now, you were asking about our opponents, right?
Dominicus: Yes.
*Lord Dominicus stands back up on the table again, and even paces a little.*
Lord Dominicus: Now, when I saw that Karras and Ampersand-
Dominicus: Tempestad
Lord Dominicus: Whatever, when I saw that those two were the ones who made it to the second round to face off against us, there was only one word that came to my mind.
*He paces a little for dramatic effect before finally stopping and looking out at the horde of potential henchmen.*
Lord Dominicus: Fitting. It is truly fitting that those of faith and those of better faith have been forced to perform gladiatorial duties upon each other. You see, come Sunday our church-going rivals shall be in good company. You see, we two too have strong beliefs. We are a pair of church-go-ers as well. Now Mr. Karras, you may pray to god and bleed on bibles and do things that might make the average man of your cloth sick. However, we are more devout than that. My partner and I worship the one true lord, the lord of darkness that is. THE ONE THEY CALL LORD DOMINICUS!
*Lord Dominicus holds up his fist in some sort of grand pose….maybe a little too long before continuing.*
Lord Dominicus: Karras, you may be a disciple to your lord, but you are facing not one, but two lords yourself. Your faith means nothing to our sheer Lord-based power! I mean, come on do you two really think you can take us on? We have on one side a preacher and a converted luchadore, on the other you have LORD DOMINICUS! No, no, LORD DOMINICUS X TWO!
*Yes, he actually said “x.”*
Lord Dominicus: Now Tenpercent-
Dominicus: Tempestad.
Lord Dominicus: Whatever, Tenpercent, you seem to be a fair player. But I know personally, that every man, deep down in his heart burns for that win some times. And in this situation, I am more than certain that you deeply want to shove my mask down my throat and make me eat every divine word that has thus far left my mouth. But hear this, my friend.
*Lord Dominicus looks directly at the camera and even points to it.*
Lord Dominicus: If you steal from the church of Dominicus, there shalt be a pox on you and your house for the rest of your days. That’s right, if you steal a victory, a curse shall fall upon not only you but your family as well, all of them as I know most Mexicans have large families. I know you also care about said family. You are messing with dark powers my friend, dark, evil, powers. –Times two. You have no idea the sort of things we can do to your family; the kinds of things that two angry men can do to your mother while you can only watch and not stop. Sick, awful things. Do you want to do that to your mother, or sister, or anyone else in your family? You see, your partner, Karras, he doesn’t care about your family, he’ll do whatever it takes to win against us. He’ll put a pox onto your house without a second thought. But me, er, we…
*He gets down on one knee, reaching out at the camera.*
Lord Dominicus: We care, Temperature.
Dominicus: *Sigh* Tempestad.
Lord Dominicus: Let us convert you to the dark side, the warm side, the side of Dominicus. I mean, come on, who are you in better hands with, a crazy preacher, or a crazy god? The choice is pretty much a no-brainer. There is only one choice for you….
*The Dark Lord returns to his feet and looks around at the crowd.*
Lord Dominicus: And for the rest of you too! Lest there be a pox upon all of your homes, BOW DOWN TO LORD DOMINICUS…um…BOTH OF THEM!
*The gaggle of probable henches cheer and begin bowing. Then Dominicus does something, or the camera fades, whatever he’s up for.*