Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Jul 21, 2024 7:16:28 GMT -5
*The camera opens with a small circular frame zoomed in on one of the NCW Tag-Team championships. We then iris out to show that the title is sitting on top of a car roof. Soon after, the camera pulls back to reveal our scene, Lord Dominicus, Warren Suffering, and a strangely buff man are standing in front of a car in what appears to be some sort of dusty, if not desert-y area. Lord Dominicus is pacing angrily back and forth as Warren continually presses buttons on his phone and the buff guy looks tough.*
LD: WHERE IS HE?! You there, bottom hench!
Warren: Me sir?
LD: No, the guy next to you….who is he by the way?
Warren: Hold on, it’s so hard to keep these guys straight.
*Warren pulls a clipboard from under his arm and reviews it.*
Warren: Hmmmm, “Dirty” Jason Stungun. He’s our brawn.
LD: That’s not very evil.
Warren: He’s also a really dirty guy.
LD: How dirty?
Jason Stungun: Catholic priest dirty.
LD: That’s pretty dirty. Anyway, that’s no matter, where is Dominicus!? Didn’t you call him?
*Warren goes silent for a moment.*
LD: You….did….tell him, didn’t you?
Warren: Well, not as such. However, I’ve been texting him ever since we got here.
LD: And?
Warren: Nothing.
LD: Well how many times have you texted him?
Warren: Fifteen times.
LD: Fifteen!? How long have we been here!?
Warren: Fifteen minutes.
LD: Wow, you’re diligent.
Warren: That’s why I’m the bottom hench, sir.
*Warren goes back to texting while Lord Dominicus resumes pacing. Eventually Warren Suffering looks up at the dark lord.*
Warren: You know, sir, you could talk about your opponents right now since there’s a camera here.
*Lord Dominicus looks at the camera.*
LD: So there is.
*He walks up to said camera while “Dirty” Jason Stungun does some flexing, and some off-color scratching.*
LD: AHAHAHAHAHA! It is I, Lord Dominicus! Fresh off of my SUPREME victory at the Pay Per View. Of course, I believe we had all seen the Dominicus Republic walking away with the gold coming. I mean, is there anyone who can stop the power of two lords in one dose? That’s a rhetorical question, because the answer is, “OF COURSE NOT!” And now I am one half of the NCW Tag Team Champions! The Dominicus Republic reins its dominance over this pitiful company! Do you want to see my new source of power? Of course you do!
*Lord Dominicus runs back to the car, jumps on the hood and starts reaching for the title until he looks down and realizes that he’s just scratched the hood, then he jumps down, goes over to Warren, and speaks quietly.*
LD: Dude, I’m totally sorry I scratched your car; that was totally uncalled for of me.
Warren: Sir, it is an honor to have your foot damage my ride, I am sure it will increase its value ten-fold.
LD: Are you sure? I can totally pay to get that fixed.
Warren: I assure you sir, it is fine.
LD: Ok, cool, just wanted to make sure.
*The Lord and Master of all things Evil jumps back on the hood and holds up the title in the air.*
LD: YOU SEE THIS?!
*He then sets it back down and runs to the camera again.*
LD: Did you see that? Tag-Team champions you foolish peons. Now, I know what you fools are thinking. What am I going to do this week? I am up against the NCW Champion, as well as the National champion, as well as the number one contender, as well as former champion Falcon. What do you think I’m going to do? I’M GOING TO MAKE THEM BOW DOWN TO ME!
*Lord Dominicus raises both arms up, makes fists, and then breathes in heavily.*
LD: Perhaps you folks don’t remember a few weeks ago. If you recall, the Dominicus Republic beat god. Let me repeat that, THE DOMINICUS REPUBLIC…..BEAT……GOD. The people who make the cards here could stack up all the gold in the world, it simply does not matter, the Dominicus Republic cannot falter, cannot fail, for we feed off of the worlds evil thoughts and deeds. We become stronger the closer and closer Earth’s existence feeds itself into the black pit of greed and despair. I become more powerful every day- even more so now that I too have gold to feed my lust for power with.
*Sadly though, Lord Dominicus lets out a long sigh.*
LD: But….it’s never that easy, is it? You see, although I have no fear of the insurmountable odds that my evil cohort and I are squaring off against, we have been tied to a very heavy rock of awful and weakness- that is, Infamous. Bates and Zane….two men who I find….weak….frail….
*He shakes his evil, masked head.*
LD: I think that the Dominicus Republic has better odds when it’s not having to drag the two biggest losers-
*Lord Dominicus quickly puts a hand to the side of his mouth*
LD: -well, now that Ace is gone-
*Back to normal*
LD: -that NCW has into a victory. Jimmy Zane has already cut a promo that made absolutely no sense; I think he’s pretending that he has multiple personality disorder, as opposed to multiple loss disorder. I’m sure that the loser that is named Kristoff will be talking more about how this fictional “the man” is holding him down, despite his great achievements. Maybe he should look into the mirror, because it is Bates, who is screwing Bates- and to the “joy” of the Dominicus Republic, he gets to screw us this week too.
*Yes, Lord Dominicus just did air quotes.*
LD: But, I shall not fret; as I said before, the Dominicus Republic should be more than a match for our opponents. I mean, the sheer DOMINATION that accompanies us wherever we go shall overpower the poor mortals with whom we’ve been put upon to DESTROY.
*In a dramatic fashion, Lord Dominicus whips up his arm, and pulls back his sleeve to reveal a watch, he looks at it.*
LD: WE MUST NOT WASTE ANY MORE TIME!
*He stomps back to Warren.*
LD: No more waiting! Prepare the Malevolent Motor Transport!
*Warren Suffering gets into his car and turns it on.*
LD: Excellent.
*He turns to “Dirty” Jason Stungun.*
LD: You there, henchman, what are you skills?
Jason Stungun: I know lots of dirty poses.
LD: Hmmm….you wait here.
Jason Stungun: This is the middle of a desert.
LD: Yes, yes it is.
*Lord Dominicus jumps into the car and they take off into the sunset….wait, no, that doesn’t happen. The car moves forward a few feet, causing the tag team belt to fall off of the roof. “Dirty” Jason Stungun picks it up and does an absolutely despicable pose with it. Soon after, Lord Dominicus walks back on camera, angrily grabs the belt, and then walks back off camera. Shorty following that, the car again takes off, leaving a trail of dust. From the dust cloud comes a piece of paper; it floats through the air before finally landing on the ground. The camera zooms in on it.*
In search of, fine gentlemen that are looking to take over the world. Many benefits included, eye and dental optional. Must love animals and people, work well with others, and like to play the Domination Game. If interested please come to Dock 18 in Athens Greece.
*We then fade out.*
LD: WHERE IS HE?! You there, bottom hench!
Warren: Me sir?
LD: No, the guy next to you….who is he by the way?
Warren: Hold on, it’s so hard to keep these guys straight.
*Warren pulls a clipboard from under his arm and reviews it.*
Warren: Hmmmm, “Dirty” Jason Stungun. He’s our brawn.
LD: That’s not very evil.
Warren: He’s also a really dirty guy.
LD: How dirty?
Jason Stungun: Catholic priest dirty.
LD: That’s pretty dirty. Anyway, that’s no matter, where is Dominicus!? Didn’t you call him?
*Warren goes silent for a moment.*
LD: You….did….tell him, didn’t you?
Warren: Well, not as such. However, I’ve been texting him ever since we got here.
LD: And?
Warren: Nothing.
LD: Well how many times have you texted him?
Warren: Fifteen times.
LD: Fifteen!? How long have we been here!?
Warren: Fifteen minutes.
LD: Wow, you’re diligent.
Warren: That’s why I’m the bottom hench, sir.
*Warren goes back to texting while Lord Dominicus resumes pacing. Eventually Warren Suffering looks up at the dark lord.*
Warren: You know, sir, you could talk about your opponents right now since there’s a camera here.
*Lord Dominicus looks at the camera.*
LD: So there is.
*He walks up to said camera while “Dirty” Jason Stungun does some flexing, and some off-color scratching.*
LD: AHAHAHAHAHA! It is I, Lord Dominicus! Fresh off of my SUPREME victory at the Pay Per View. Of course, I believe we had all seen the Dominicus Republic walking away with the gold coming. I mean, is there anyone who can stop the power of two lords in one dose? That’s a rhetorical question, because the answer is, “OF COURSE NOT!” And now I am one half of the NCW Tag Team Champions! The Dominicus Republic reins its dominance over this pitiful company! Do you want to see my new source of power? Of course you do!
*Lord Dominicus runs back to the car, jumps on the hood and starts reaching for the title until he looks down and realizes that he’s just scratched the hood, then he jumps down, goes over to Warren, and speaks quietly.*
LD: Dude, I’m totally sorry I scratched your car; that was totally uncalled for of me.
Warren: Sir, it is an honor to have your foot damage my ride, I am sure it will increase its value ten-fold.
LD: Are you sure? I can totally pay to get that fixed.
Warren: I assure you sir, it is fine.
LD: Ok, cool, just wanted to make sure.
*The Lord and Master of all things Evil jumps back on the hood and holds up the title in the air.*
LD: YOU SEE THIS?!
*He then sets it back down and runs to the camera again.*
LD: Did you see that? Tag-Team champions you foolish peons. Now, I know what you fools are thinking. What am I going to do this week? I am up against the NCW Champion, as well as the National champion, as well as the number one contender, as well as former champion Falcon. What do you think I’m going to do? I’M GOING TO MAKE THEM BOW DOWN TO ME!
*Lord Dominicus raises both arms up, makes fists, and then breathes in heavily.*
LD: Perhaps you folks don’t remember a few weeks ago. If you recall, the Dominicus Republic beat god. Let me repeat that, THE DOMINICUS REPUBLIC…..BEAT……GOD. The people who make the cards here could stack up all the gold in the world, it simply does not matter, the Dominicus Republic cannot falter, cannot fail, for we feed off of the worlds evil thoughts and deeds. We become stronger the closer and closer Earth’s existence feeds itself into the black pit of greed and despair. I become more powerful every day- even more so now that I too have gold to feed my lust for power with.
*Sadly though, Lord Dominicus lets out a long sigh.*
LD: But….it’s never that easy, is it? You see, although I have no fear of the insurmountable odds that my evil cohort and I are squaring off against, we have been tied to a very heavy rock of awful and weakness- that is, Infamous. Bates and Zane….two men who I find….weak….frail….
*He shakes his evil, masked head.*
LD: I think that the Dominicus Republic has better odds when it’s not having to drag the two biggest losers-
*Lord Dominicus quickly puts a hand to the side of his mouth*
LD: -well, now that Ace is gone-
*Back to normal*
LD: -that NCW has into a victory. Jimmy Zane has already cut a promo that made absolutely no sense; I think he’s pretending that he has multiple personality disorder, as opposed to multiple loss disorder. I’m sure that the loser that is named Kristoff will be talking more about how this fictional “the man” is holding him down, despite his great achievements. Maybe he should look into the mirror, because it is Bates, who is screwing Bates- and to the “joy” of the Dominicus Republic, he gets to screw us this week too.
*Yes, Lord Dominicus just did air quotes.*
LD: But, I shall not fret; as I said before, the Dominicus Republic should be more than a match for our opponents. I mean, the sheer DOMINATION that accompanies us wherever we go shall overpower the poor mortals with whom we’ve been put upon to DESTROY.
*In a dramatic fashion, Lord Dominicus whips up his arm, and pulls back his sleeve to reveal a watch, he looks at it.*
LD: WE MUST NOT WASTE ANY MORE TIME!
*He stomps back to Warren.*
LD: No more waiting! Prepare the Malevolent Motor Transport!
*Warren Suffering gets into his car and turns it on.*
LD: Excellent.
*He turns to “Dirty” Jason Stungun.*
LD: You there, henchman, what are you skills?
Jason Stungun: I know lots of dirty poses.
LD: Hmmm….you wait here.
Jason Stungun: This is the middle of a desert.
LD: Yes, yes it is.
*Lord Dominicus jumps into the car and they take off into the sunset….wait, no, that doesn’t happen. The car moves forward a few feet, causing the tag team belt to fall off of the roof. “Dirty” Jason Stungun picks it up and does an absolutely despicable pose with it. Soon after, Lord Dominicus walks back on camera, angrily grabs the belt, and then walks back off camera. Shorty following that, the car again takes off, leaving a trail of dust. From the dust cloud comes a piece of paper; it floats through the air before finally landing on the ground. The camera zooms in on it.*
WANTED
In search of, fine gentlemen that are looking to take over the world. Many benefits included, eye and dental optional. Must love animals and people, work well with others, and like to play the Domination Game. If interested please come to Dock 18 in Athens Greece.
*We then fade out.*