Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Jul 21, 2024 7:28:58 GMT -5
“Ok, so you just stand here, and you, you stand here. I’m gonna be closer to the camera and this way you guys will look like you’re backing me up.”
“Why am I here again?”
“Because, we’re teaming it only makes sense to show that we’re unified in our goals, even though I’m playing some evil weirdo and you’re a nice girl as far as anyone can see.”
“What do you mean by ‘playing’?”
“I mean that I am going to cut a killer evil promo that’s gonna make you crap your pants with awesome.”
“Oooh.”
“Ok, so let’s get this show on the road, I’ll do the talking, you guys look evil, or whatever you do.”
“I have a question.”
“Yeah?”
“How often do you wash your mask? And do you have any spares?”
“Why would I need to wash it? It’s not like I wear it all the time.”
“You….you don’t?”
“Why? Do you?”
“Y…..no, no that’d be silly, haha.”
“Is your cameraman drunk?”
“Hey little lady, why don’t you stop picking on people with disabilities.”
“Don’t mind him, he’s a consummate professional. Now lemme cut this promo, I wanna show Rob that I am more evil than he could ever hope to be.”
“Who’s Rob?”
“You don’t know who Rob is? Aren’t you a member of the Dominicus Republic?”
“I really don’t see the connection.”
“Really….you don’t see anything connection the Dominicus Republic to Rob Diamond?”
“No, doesn’t ring a bell.”
“You’re weird.”
“You’re a girl!”
“Ok, ok, guys, let’s all calm down so I can do this. Ok, and one, two, three, ACTION!”
*A hand removes the lens cap from the camera, in front of us stand Lord Dominicus (in the foreground), Zelda Knite (in the background on the left, our left, not LD’s), and Conejo Esponjoso (in the background on the right). They’re in front of a white backdrop. LD speaks directly into the camera.*
Lord Dominicus: Oh Mr. Bates- see even though I’m evil, I am still refined; if you were a child I’d call you Master Bates. Anyway Mr. Bates, the tables have turned this week, hmm? Well now that I’m thinking about it, nothing has changed for you, which is strange, but I’ll get to that in a moment. See, last week, you were my partner, reluctant, I know, I too was concerned about our meeting of the minds. Now last week, we were the outsiders looking in at champions and golden boys. Now, me and my partner this week represent that with which I took on with full force last week, and you….well….you’re in the same place as before.
Conejo: How dastardly!
Lord Dominicus: YES! It is indeed quite….EVI- wait, no, I don’t follow.
*LD turns around to Conejo, but Conejo just shrugs.*
Conejo: Sorry, just trying to give you some backup.
*Zelda giggles a little, but tries to hold it in and look serious. LD returns to looking at the camera and continues.*
Lord Dominicus: But really Bates, this is your life story isn’t it? On the outside, looking in? That’s the whole stupid angle of your stupid group, isn’t it? See Bates, you’re a failure, a wanna-be. For that matter, so is your partner. I don’t want to discredit Miss Ayla too much as I don’t know her well. However, right now she is a pretender to the women’s throne, is she not? Is Zelda not the proven champion of the women’s division? She is. And what of you, Bates? You’re nothing yet again. You are simply a spec in the GRAND UNIVERSE of the DOMINICUS REPUBLIC!
*There are some snickers from Zelda in the back at this over-the-top stuff.*
Lord Dominicus: I mean, Bates, let’s look at your career. You were normal, and you were a great flash in the pan in the Xtreme division, but once you stopped being the hot new thing, what did you do? You took your button-up shirt off and acted like some crazy man. That didn’t work. So you buttoned your shirt back up, and where did that get you? Now you’re partnering with losers who have either tried, or probably will quit. You’re a smart one Mr. Bates. You’re lucky that you hard the power of a true DARK LORD to bring you to a victory last week.
*Apparently Zelda thinks LD’s shtick is gangbusters because she’s having problems holding it in.*
Lord Dominicus: You lack consistency, you lack resolve, and you lack anything resembling an ability to keep your head above water. Whereas look at me? I’m some nut in a mask right? WRONG! Since appearing here in NCW, what have I done, I’ve dominated. I have held down and whipped all of my opponents into submission. Total domination.
*Snicker snicker from Miss Zelda.*
Lord Dominicus: Look at me! I am the tag-team champion along with my like-named partner. Our relationship is one of business, and strained at that! I created an empire within a week! I even dragged your rear to a win! Why?!
Conejo: Because you’re the Dark Lord of All that is Evil!
Lord Dominicus: YES! Fear my evil! But also and more to the point, I am self-actualized, I know what I want and I get it. I don’t whine about it like some INFAMOUS people. I am self-confident, self-actualized, and self-evil.
Zelda: Hehe….self-evil…
Lord Dominicus: Mr. Bates and Miss Ayla, you covet what you don’t have and what you lack the ability to get. I am evil, I have beaten the team sent by god, I have beaten a man twice my size, I have even pinned NCW’s champion to help the most loser-riffic group on campus pull out a win. Simply put Bates, I can’t be stopped. I won’t be stopped. I shall be a rising cloud of smoke, covering the sky of NCW’s talent pool. For I am…..LORD DOMINICUS!
*LD throws his arms up to add to the yelling of his name. He then points to the camera.*
Lord Dominicus: You were better off being normal, because now you’re sub-par and about to be forced to kneel to the power of the Lord Dominicus and Zelda Knite! Right?
Zelda: …Uh…right!
Lord Dominicus: Excellent. I shall see you two in the ring at Collision. I would wish you luck, but we all know that you don’t have any of that, Bates. ALL HAIL THE DARK LORD THAT IS ME!
*Our favorite masked evil man raises his arm into the air as Conejo cheers and Zelda just busts out laughing, the camera then fades.*
“Why am I here again?”
“Because, we’re teaming it only makes sense to show that we’re unified in our goals, even though I’m playing some evil weirdo and you’re a nice girl as far as anyone can see.”
“What do you mean by ‘playing’?”
“I mean that I am going to cut a killer evil promo that’s gonna make you crap your pants with awesome.”
“Oooh.”
“Ok, so let’s get this show on the road, I’ll do the talking, you guys look evil, or whatever you do.”
“I have a question.”
“Yeah?”
“How often do you wash your mask? And do you have any spares?”
“Why would I need to wash it? It’s not like I wear it all the time.”
“You….you don’t?”
“Why? Do you?”
“Y…..no, no that’d be silly, haha.”
“Is your cameraman drunk?”
“Hey little lady, why don’t you stop picking on people with disabilities.”
“Don’t mind him, he’s a consummate professional. Now lemme cut this promo, I wanna show Rob that I am more evil than he could ever hope to be.”
“Who’s Rob?”
“You don’t know who Rob is? Aren’t you a member of the Dominicus Republic?”
“I really don’t see the connection.”
“Really….you don’t see anything connection the Dominicus Republic to Rob Diamond?”
“No, doesn’t ring a bell.”
“You’re weird.”
“You’re a girl!”
“Ok, ok, guys, let’s all calm down so I can do this. Ok, and one, two, three, ACTION!”
*A hand removes the lens cap from the camera, in front of us stand Lord Dominicus (in the foreground), Zelda Knite (in the background on the left, our left, not LD’s), and Conejo Esponjoso (in the background on the right). They’re in front of a white backdrop. LD speaks directly into the camera.*
Lord Dominicus: Oh Mr. Bates- see even though I’m evil, I am still refined; if you were a child I’d call you Master Bates. Anyway Mr. Bates, the tables have turned this week, hmm? Well now that I’m thinking about it, nothing has changed for you, which is strange, but I’ll get to that in a moment. See, last week, you were my partner, reluctant, I know, I too was concerned about our meeting of the minds. Now last week, we were the outsiders looking in at champions and golden boys. Now, me and my partner this week represent that with which I took on with full force last week, and you….well….you’re in the same place as before.
Conejo: How dastardly!
Lord Dominicus: YES! It is indeed quite….EVI- wait, no, I don’t follow.
*LD turns around to Conejo, but Conejo just shrugs.*
Conejo: Sorry, just trying to give you some backup.
*Zelda giggles a little, but tries to hold it in and look serious. LD returns to looking at the camera and continues.*
Lord Dominicus: But really Bates, this is your life story isn’t it? On the outside, looking in? That’s the whole stupid angle of your stupid group, isn’t it? See Bates, you’re a failure, a wanna-be. For that matter, so is your partner. I don’t want to discredit Miss Ayla too much as I don’t know her well. However, right now she is a pretender to the women’s throne, is she not? Is Zelda not the proven champion of the women’s division? She is. And what of you, Bates? You’re nothing yet again. You are simply a spec in the GRAND UNIVERSE of the DOMINICUS REPUBLIC!
*There are some snickers from Zelda in the back at this over-the-top stuff.*
Lord Dominicus: I mean, Bates, let’s look at your career. You were normal, and you were a great flash in the pan in the Xtreme division, but once you stopped being the hot new thing, what did you do? You took your button-up shirt off and acted like some crazy man. That didn’t work. So you buttoned your shirt back up, and where did that get you? Now you’re partnering with losers who have either tried, or probably will quit. You’re a smart one Mr. Bates. You’re lucky that you hard the power of a true DARK LORD to bring you to a victory last week.
*Apparently Zelda thinks LD’s shtick is gangbusters because she’s having problems holding it in.*
Lord Dominicus: You lack consistency, you lack resolve, and you lack anything resembling an ability to keep your head above water. Whereas look at me? I’m some nut in a mask right? WRONG! Since appearing here in NCW, what have I done, I’ve dominated. I have held down and whipped all of my opponents into submission. Total domination.
*Snicker snicker from Miss Zelda.*
Lord Dominicus: Look at me! I am the tag-team champion along with my like-named partner. Our relationship is one of business, and strained at that! I created an empire within a week! I even dragged your rear to a win! Why?!
Conejo: Because you’re the Dark Lord of All that is Evil!
Lord Dominicus: YES! Fear my evil! But also and more to the point, I am self-actualized, I know what I want and I get it. I don’t whine about it like some INFAMOUS people. I am self-confident, self-actualized, and self-evil.
Zelda: Hehe….self-evil…
Lord Dominicus: Mr. Bates and Miss Ayla, you covet what you don’t have and what you lack the ability to get. I am evil, I have beaten the team sent by god, I have beaten a man twice my size, I have even pinned NCW’s champion to help the most loser-riffic group on campus pull out a win. Simply put Bates, I can’t be stopped. I won’t be stopped. I shall be a rising cloud of smoke, covering the sky of NCW’s talent pool. For I am…..LORD DOMINICUS!
*LD throws his arms up to add to the yelling of his name. He then points to the camera.*
Lord Dominicus: You were better off being normal, because now you’re sub-par and about to be forced to kneel to the power of the Lord Dominicus and Zelda Knite! Right?
Zelda: …Uh…right!
Lord Dominicus: Excellent. I shall see you two in the ring at Collision. I would wish you luck, but we all know that you don’t have any of that, Bates. ALL HAIL THE DARK LORD THAT IS ME!
*Our favorite masked evil man raises his arm into the air as Conejo cheers and Zelda just busts out laughing, the camera then fades.*