Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Jul 21, 2024 7:43:15 GMT -5
*Some slow showdown music stars to play. You know the kind, the sorta kinda but not really Mexican stand-off sort of music you’d hear in a Kill Bill movie. Anyway, as this music plays we look down at a dusty road, not like a road of dirt or anything, just a regular paved road with some dust on it. The camera pans up to reveal standing together in awesome movie fashion most of the Dominicus Republic- oh and some guy who looks unfamiliar. In front of the rest, with his cape waving, stands Lord Dominicus (um, [REDACTED]’s version).*
LD: Alright men….and girls….WE HAVE ARRIVED!
*In the back, Dominicus (Rob’s version) sighs. Lord Dominicus points bravely at their target…..which is behind them, so he had to turn around. It appears to be an abandoned building, it’s all broken-down and scary and stuff.*
Dominicus: No…freaking…..way.
*Lord Dominicus ignores his partner.*
LD: Alright, headcount time. Let’s see….
*He looks around at the crew.*
LD: Lesse, we’ve got me, Dominicus, Warren, Lady Dominicus, Condor, Domina, her friend Stacy, “Dirty” Jason, and….who…who are you?
*The Dark Master of all that is Evil is looking at the previously mentioned unfamiliar face. This man is smoking heavily.*
Warren: Oh, that is one of our newer henches, I figured I’d bring him along with “Dirty” Jason Stungun since he’s experienced and we may need more than one henchman.
*Lord Dominicus looks back over at this new guy, who is suddenly wearing LD’s cape.*
LD: Hey, what the crap!?
New Guy: Sorry, kleptomania, it’s a disease.
*The new guy gives the cape back.*
LD: Does this guy have a name?
Warren: Yeah, he is Jake “The Conman” Spades.
*We turn our attention back to the newly named hench, who is now slugging down a beer at a rapid pace. Lord Dominicus sighs.*
LD: ...So…does he have some sort of weird gimmick that we’re being forced to watch right now?
Warren: You could say that he leads a life of excess.
Jake “The Conman” Spades: You wanna make a bet on that?
LD: Not really.
Jake: Ooh, check out that fine piece, I’m gonna hit that.
*The crew turns back to the camera where Jake is walking up to a rather large and unattractive woman. He starts to hit on her and then starts to make out with her, then we turn back to the DR, who seem mildly disgusted…except “Dirty” Jason Stungun, who walks off camera to join the other henchman. Soon well….the next line sums it up pretty well.*
LD: Awww, that’s just dirty.
*DR turns around, minus Lady Dominicus who seems transfixed, she doesn’t like it, but she can’t look away. Lord Dominicus turns her around as they re-focus. He walks up to the door of the building to address his cohorts.*
LD: FRIENDS! MOST HATED ENEMY! GIRL WHO I’VE ONLY CASUALLY TALKED TO EARLIER! Lend me your ears! Now this week we’re all faced with our own issues, but I must ask you to put those aside as in front of us- well, behind me, but in front of you…well after me of course is our target. You see, in there lies something that can lead us to greater and apparently more evil power.
Domina: And certainly won’t lead you all to your dooms!
*The crew looks at her oddly.*
Domina: What? I’m just saying.
LD: Ok, folks, focus, back on me. Anyway, I know some of you may be weak of heart, especially those of you who have longer hair and parts that don’t match my own.
Conejo: What? I’m not that fat.
LD: …What? Ok, ok, anyways that’s not what I meant, but whatever. So anyway, we stand here at the gateway to even greater greatness. But, my brethren, DO NOT FEAR! I mean, look at the accomplishments of the Domincus Republic, we have beaten God’s hand-picked team. We’ve even dragged Infamous to a win, which I’m pretty sure is against the laws of physics.
Dominicus: Hey!
LD: And we brought Domina and her friend closer together by beating said friend into submission. I am no predictor of the future, however, I’d say our future is bright- or dark, whichever we want it to be considering the circumstances. I shall use my own confidence to brighten- or darken your paths. This week, I’m taking on Will Washington; he is the great gladiator of NCW right now. But do I fear him? NO!
*Lord Dominicus kicks out a window in the building, and climbs inside of it, holding himself in without falling.*
LD: Why? We’ve faced many a champion before. Is Will Washington a champion? YES! You see, back in days of yore, a champion was not somebody with a belt, but a great challenger whom everyone rallied around. A champion of a cause. And now this week, in the main event of Collision, that cause is clear- wound the Dominicus Republic.
*Our fearless and very evil leader jumps into the building, moments later, the door is kicked open from the inside. There, posing is of course Lord Dominicus.*
LD: I have no fear! Will, you are but a mortal going against the entire contents of Hades. WHAT CHANCE DO YOU HAVE?! Will, I don’t fear you. I may respect you, and I do, your accomplishment of beating several others is quite impressive. However, look at me. Look at my body, I am nothing special. But….I AM SOMETHING MONSTEROUSLY EVIL! Will, your power is nothing compared to my evil! I shall rock your face off at Collision, you’ll see! The whole world will see that the Dominicus Republic is nothing to shake a stick at!
*Warren Suffering clears his throat.*
Warren: Um, sir, are you still addressing us?
*This knocks LD back into reality.*
LD: Oh yeah, sorry about that. Where was I? Oh yeah, have no fear my fellow evil friends (and enemy). Let us set forth onto this bold new adventure!
*The crew walk into the dark building. Once all of them are in, they realize there are several ways to go.*
LD: Hmm, there are several ways to go.
Domina: I recommend that we split up, that way if one, two, or three of us die, the others might not.
LD: Ooh, good idea, I like having you on the team. Alright, lets split up into groups.
Dominicus: You know what? I’ll go with the two henchmen, y’know, once they’re done.
*Dominicus then walks out.*
LD: Good initiative. Well, I have to be with Warren, since he takes care of all my personal business and has the internet on his phone so we can see any updates, should we need them.
Lady Dominicus: I’m on [REDACTED]- er, Lord Dominicus’ team!
Domina: NO! IT’S TOO DANGEROUS!
*Everyone goes silent as they all look at Domina.*
Domina: What I mean to say is um…that girls need to stick together, so um, I guess Stacy and I will be joining Lady Dominicus, Lord Dominicus, and Warren.
LD: Perfect, the groups are set, let’s do this!
*Everyone cheers as LD’s crew sets forth into the building. Once they’re out of vision Conejo looks around.*
Conejo: Wait….what just happened? Where’d everyone else go? Awwww crap.
*Conejo sulks his way off into the dark corridors as the camera fades.*
LD: Alright men….and girls….WE HAVE ARRIVED!
*In the back, Dominicus (Rob’s version) sighs. Lord Dominicus points bravely at their target…..which is behind them, so he had to turn around. It appears to be an abandoned building, it’s all broken-down and scary and stuff.*
Dominicus: No…freaking…..way.
*Lord Dominicus ignores his partner.*
LD: Alright, headcount time. Let’s see….
*He looks around at the crew.*
LD: Lesse, we’ve got me, Dominicus, Warren, Lady Dominicus, Condor, Domina, her friend Stacy, “Dirty” Jason, and….who…who are you?
*The Dark Master of all that is Evil is looking at the previously mentioned unfamiliar face. This man is smoking heavily.*
Warren: Oh, that is one of our newer henches, I figured I’d bring him along with “Dirty” Jason Stungun since he’s experienced and we may need more than one henchman.
*Lord Dominicus looks back over at this new guy, who is suddenly wearing LD’s cape.*
LD: Hey, what the crap!?
New Guy: Sorry, kleptomania, it’s a disease.
*The new guy gives the cape back.*
LD: Does this guy have a name?
Warren: Yeah, he is Jake “The Conman” Spades.
*We turn our attention back to the newly named hench, who is now slugging down a beer at a rapid pace. Lord Dominicus sighs.*
LD: ...So…does he have some sort of weird gimmick that we’re being forced to watch right now?
Warren: You could say that he leads a life of excess.
Jake “The Conman” Spades: You wanna make a bet on that?
LD: Not really.
Jake: Ooh, check out that fine piece, I’m gonna hit that.
*The crew turns back to the camera where Jake is walking up to a rather large and unattractive woman. He starts to hit on her and then starts to make out with her, then we turn back to the DR, who seem mildly disgusted…except “Dirty” Jason Stungun, who walks off camera to join the other henchman. Soon well….the next line sums it up pretty well.*
LD: Awww, that’s just dirty.
*DR turns around, minus Lady Dominicus who seems transfixed, she doesn’t like it, but she can’t look away. Lord Dominicus turns her around as they re-focus. He walks up to the door of the building to address his cohorts.*
LD: FRIENDS! MOST HATED ENEMY! GIRL WHO I’VE ONLY CASUALLY TALKED TO EARLIER! Lend me your ears! Now this week we’re all faced with our own issues, but I must ask you to put those aside as in front of us- well, behind me, but in front of you…well after me of course is our target. You see, in there lies something that can lead us to greater and apparently more evil power.
Domina: And certainly won’t lead you all to your dooms!
*The crew looks at her oddly.*
Domina: What? I’m just saying.
LD: Ok, folks, focus, back on me. Anyway, I know some of you may be weak of heart, especially those of you who have longer hair and parts that don’t match my own.
Conejo: What? I’m not that fat.
LD: …What? Ok, ok, anyways that’s not what I meant, but whatever. So anyway, we stand here at the gateway to even greater greatness. But, my brethren, DO NOT FEAR! I mean, look at the accomplishments of the Domincus Republic, we have beaten God’s hand-picked team. We’ve even dragged Infamous to a win, which I’m pretty sure is against the laws of physics.
Dominicus: Hey!
LD: And we brought Domina and her friend closer together by beating said friend into submission. I am no predictor of the future, however, I’d say our future is bright- or dark, whichever we want it to be considering the circumstances. I shall use my own confidence to brighten- or darken your paths. This week, I’m taking on Will Washington; he is the great gladiator of NCW right now. But do I fear him? NO!
*Lord Dominicus kicks out a window in the building, and climbs inside of it, holding himself in without falling.*
LD: Why? We’ve faced many a champion before. Is Will Washington a champion? YES! You see, back in days of yore, a champion was not somebody with a belt, but a great challenger whom everyone rallied around. A champion of a cause. And now this week, in the main event of Collision, that cause is clear- wound the Dominicus Republic.
*Our fearless and very evil leader jumps into the building, moments later, the door is kicked open from the inside. There, posing is of course Lord Dominicus.*
LD: I have no fear! Will, you are but a mortal going against the entire contents of Hades. WHAT CHANCE DO YOU HAVE?! Will, I don’t fear you. I may respect you, and I do, your accomplishment of beating several others is quite impressive. However, look at me. Look at my body, I am nothing special. But….I AM SOMETHING MONSTEROUSLY EVIL! Will, your power is nothing compared to my evil! I shall rock your face off at Collision, you’ll see! The whole world will see that the Dominicus Republic is nothing to shake a stick at!
*Warren Suffering clears his throat.*
Warren: Um, sir, are you still addressing us?
*This knocks LD back into reality.*
LD: Oh yeah, sorry about that. Where was I? Oh yeah, have no fear my fellow evil friends (and enemy). Let us set forth onto this bold new adventure!
*The crew walk into the dark building. Once all of them are in, they realize there are several ways to go.*
LD: Hmm, there are several ways to go.
Domina: I recommend that we split up, that way if one, two, or three of us die, the others might not.
LD: Ooh, good idea, I like having you on the team. Alright, lets split up into groups.
Dominicus: You know what? I’ll go with the two henchmen, y’know, once they’re done.
*Dominicus then walks out.*
LD: Good initiative. Well, I have to be with Warren, since he takes care of all my personal business and has the internet on his phone so we can see any updates, should we need them.
Lady Dominicus: I’m on [REDACTED]- er, Lord Dominicus’ team!
Domina: NO! IT’S TOO DANGEROUS!
*Everyone goes silent as they all look at Domina.*
Domina: What I mean to say is um…that girls need to stick together, so um, I guess Stacy and I will be joining Lady Dominicus, Lord Dominicus, and Warren.
LD: Perfect, the groups are set, let’s do this!
*Everyone cheers as LD’s crew sets forth into the building. Once they’re out of vision Conejo looks around.*
Conejo: Wait….what just happened? Where’d everyone else go? Awwww crap.
*Conejo sulks his way off into the dark corridors as the camera fades.*