Timebomb (BoB #1)

[Seth Dillinger]

The room is shrouded in darkness. After a brief few moments, an LED screen lights up, displaying a super stylized, edgy face. They speak in a distorted, warbled voice, probably an effect of the mask.

"The past has a silly way of catching up to us all, doesn't it? I'm the wraith of vengeance, set out here to--"

The person behind the mask begins trying to stifle a chuckle, which gets amplified and all reverb-y thanks to the mask's voice modulator, which only makes the situation funnier, which only makes him laugh more. This cycle continues for a moment until our mystery man pulls the mask off over his head.

"Sorry, sorry, I could only keep it up for so long--"

His voice shifts to normal as the mask slips all the way off, revealing the grinning face of Seth Dillinger.

"God, could you imagine? Me, coming back under a masked alter ego yet again? Jeez, come on, not even I'm that self-indulgent."

Seth frisbees the mask off to the side, followed by a loud crash as it definitely breaks something.

"That's fine. Probably fine. It's just a part of my Halloween costume this year... heh..."

He lets out a nervous chuckle and continues.

"You know, NLW was a mistake, in hindsight. I show up there, I win the world title, I lose it to Finn Whelan, I'm promised a rematch... then the whole fucking place implodes! I work my ASS off for years to get back into wrestling shape again after Maverick almost fucking killed me in AWF -- thank god for stem cells -- only to have my wonderful return momentum squashed dead in its tracks. I'll be honest, y'all, that one hurt. I was sure I was done with this whole industry after that. Nothing quite like it to take the wind out of your sails. But then..."

Seth pauses, lingering for a moment.

"Mmm. Ryan." Seth winks. "Hey pookems. Long time no see. See, there are very few things that could catch my interest to show up to an event. My old pal Fox galivanting around taking a shot at the Wrestle UK Championship was almost enough to do it, but I thought, nah. Ryan Young coming out of retirement though? After dodging me like a punk ass bitch all these years? Now THAT caught my eye."

Seth begins to pace, folding his fingers together as he elaborates.

"As if one ghost from the past isn't enough, Jason Long is here! You know, the fat motherfucker that almost killed me and put me in a wheelchair! The man who ALMOST retired me. Well, one thing's for sure: Seth "The Kid" Dillinger died that day. As my lifeless corpse was being hauled out of the carnage of that final match, whatever last bit of childlike innocence and naivety I had was left behind along with, like, a LOT of my blood. I'll admit, I had perhaps gotten too zealous in my later years. Perhaps sipped a bit too much of my own Kool-Aid. Perhaps did wrong by some of those closest to me..."

Seth drifts off, his thoughts rushing towards Fox and Ryan, and the mess that ensued as LGBTKO broke up.

"...but, come on, to try to kill me? To break my fucking neck? That's a bridge too far, Jason, and I've been waiting for my opportunity to thank you for the time off."

Seth grins and licks his lips, smacking them together.

"I can just tasssstttteeee the vengeance, and god, it's gonna be fucking delicious."

He shakes his head and snaps out it. Seth chuckles sheepishly, not quite comfortable with letting that vicious bloodthirsty side of him out again.

"But, of course, this isn't the Seth Dillinger Revenge Match. This is the Battle of Britain! Twenty people! One winner! WUK Championship match on the line! And I'm not gonna pretend like the WUK roster and fans give one flying fuck about what happened in AWF or NLW with me and my story. I'm unfamiliar with a lot of you, and that will be my weakness here. After all, I literally decided to sign up and do this thing, like..."

Seth looks at a watch on his wrist that doesn't exist.

"I dunno. 24 hours ago or something? I'm gonna come in at a disadvantage not knowing your styles, weaknesses, likes, dislikes, favorite color, or which Golden Girl best represents you."

He leans in to the camera and puts a hand to his mouth, as if whispering a secret.

"I'm totally a Blanche, by the way."

Seth giggles and leans back.

"So, due to my freshness and lack of knowledge, we're gonna have to do things..."

Seth feigns shock and gasps. *GASP!*

"ON THE FLY! The shock! The horror! But see, what a lot of you that don't know me are missing is that I'm an adaptable motherfucker. Because you don't become a world champion FOUR times in XHF without being adaptable."

Seth holds up four fingers, dropping to three.

"You don't become a THREE time XHF Champion--"

He drops to two fingers.

"Including TWO X*Crown Championships..."

Another finger drops.

"And being the LAST ONE STANDING at the XHF Rumble..."

The last finger drops, forming a fist.

"Without being adaptable and unpredictable. So for those of you who don't know me... hello, I'm Seth Dillinger."

He bows for dramatic flair.

"I'm something of a badass motherfucker. I've had win streaks that put all the legends to shame. You could reasonably argue I'm the GOAT. I can flip, fight, and fuck with the best of them. I can outdrink some of you, outrun most of you, and outshine all of you. I've got years and years of pent-up passion and energy that has been bursting at the seams to come out."

Seth takes in a breath, his body jittering and shaking before letting out a loud warcry.

"I'm a fucking TIMEBOMB, baby. And if you listen close...

Seth leans in close to the camera, holding his ear up to it.

"It's about to blow."

He blows everyone watching a kiss and the feed cuts to black.