Ghosts of our Past - Part 1
Sept 6, 2017 14:32:00 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Rage (aka NoMercyMaster2001), and 1 more like this
Post by Robbie A on Sept 6, 2017 14:32:00 GMT -5
14 August 2017
"I never expected it to be you. You are the last person I expected to be sharing a drink with right now. You’ve not said a single word about why you’re here, but we both know and it doesn’t need to be talked about right now.
I’ve had a number of ghosts of my past come visit me in the last couple years. Each of these others were people I like, people I love, and people that quite frankly I couldn’t believe had the audacity to walk in here. It’s really important that I tell you about these ghosts, why they were here, because if I’m right about you, and if I’m right about what happens next, we need to have a complete mutual understanding of each other. I’m sure you have a few stories too, but I’ve also been watching your dirty laundry air all over the world in recent weeks.
I have to admit that an onlooker would look at us right now and they wouldn’t understand why you’re here. I wouldn’t expect them to either, but importantly you do, you wouldn’t be here otherwise. I just wish that it was under better circumstances for us. I think we both deserve better, especially you, you’re so much more than you’ve become. I guess that’s why you came though, you must feel it, and you must almost feel the same way about me.
Don’t get me wrong, part of me wishes you weren’t here. I wanted to stay here, in my little bubble, hurting people and getting paid in good whiskey. I was beginning to really like it here, but I sense that time is about to come to an end.
Let me talk to you though about these ghosts, ghosts of the past that have shaped this present.”
May 2016
Let me be pretty honest, the first few months of me being here were pretty great. I kept my routine pretty simple, three days a week in the gym, then come to this bar to cool off, drink some fine scotch, and just be within my own thoughts. Granted, there’s always the odd idiot that needs throwing out, and whilst Kyle could handle himself, especially with that shotgun nestled behind the bar, but he and I both found it more fun to let me handle it. Then there were two fight nights, I treated them like I used to treat a fight back in the day, from my alarm going off to post fight routine I was like clockwork, unflappable in my set routine. The only thing I changed was after it was all said and done I would come back out the front here and pour myself a drink.
As for the last two days, I’d head out of town, down to Tampa. I still have a home there though I’d used it much less since I’ve been out of the business. Now however it was only a short flight out of New Orleans, and I was feeling a sense of calm in that house now. More than ever it felt like home, much more than my home town in England. I should have known though, it was only a matter of time before somebody would be waiting for me there. That person was the only man that I would call a friend, my friend, Alex Reid.
I got back to the house early that day, it was just before midday and as I pulled my rental car into the drive I spotted his car immediately and knew it was him. Alex is a tall guy, and he only drives SUV’s, and given that it was a rental that was clearly more expensive than mine, I knew who it was. I laughed out loud immediately as I pulled in. I hadn’t seen him in a few years, though I had spoken to him since. However the last time I did see him, he was stopping me getting arrested, but that’s another story for another time.
I got out the car and looked around, he was already in the house. That’s fine, he knew the code to get in and had a key. This was and still is the only man that has my utmost trust. After inspecting his rental car I go back to mine and remove the bag from the trunk, and stride towards the front door. I don’t hesitate and walk straight in, as the door gets no more than half open I hear him shout from the kitchen, which is located to the back of the house.
“There’s a guy coming in an hour or so with beers and Mexican food, I know how excited you get about Mexican food.” He chirps, almost automatically.
"See, that’s where you’re wrong, I get excited about the fact that we now live in an age where we can use our phones to bring a man to wherever the hell we are in the country and he will give us the food and drink we desire, of almost any origin or flavour. Some may say that we are becoming lazier as a race, and perhaps they are right, however at this moment in time, when the benefits that we will gain from this order, I have to respectfully disagree with these people.” I respond almost without hesitation, and walk straight into the kitchen where Reid is stood, leaning against a counter and looking out towards the rear garden and swimming pool. He then turns and greets me with a hug.
“It’s good to see you.” He says, stepping back to look me up and down.
“And you, I had a feeling you would be here this time but couldn’t be sure.” I reply, before a short pause. “Though I have to cut the BS here mate, I can tell that this visit isn’t just about watching the football with me, you could do that any time and could plan that ahead with me.” I fold my arms and shoot a glance at Reid, a simple look, one that I’ve used on him since we were kids, and it never ceases to entertain me that this look prompts him to tell me the truth every time. The man can lie, I’ve watched him bullshit some of the most esteemed business men and women, but not to me. As always, the look works, and his eyebrows raise up and a deep sigh tells me that I’m right.
“Couldn’t we have had a nice time first and had a drink, watched the football, and then I would have upset you after?”
Is the somewhat exasperated response.
“Alex, the football will piss me off anyway, you may as well get me in the mood now!” Is my straight reply, though said with a smirk. He sighs again before nodding towards a file on the table. I turn my head and see it and my demeanour drops slightly.
“It’s more of a heads up, rather than anything official, but there’s pretty much all you need to know in there.” Reid says gently.
I know what the file is, truth be told I’ve been expecting this for a long time. It’s the brief of Sharon’s plans to divorce me. Let me stress this again I have been expecting this, I’ve been expecting it since I packed up and flew away, yet there’s that part of me that wondered if she’d ever actually go through with it. I reached that point in my head that perhaps if she hadn’t done it after leaving, hadn’t done it after Leeds, then she may not do it at all. Clearly that was foolish, and now it sat there, a simple black file. I nod slowly in acceptance, but choose to walk past it and look out to the back of the house.
“Just give me the highlights, I’ll look at it tomorrow when I leave.” I say, almost robotically, placing my hands behind my back.
“There’s not actually much to it. In fact there’s almost nothing to it. She doesn’t want a thing from you mate.” Is the sobering response.
“Nothing?” I turn my head towards him. “Define nothing? Surely she still will expect payments for Sam?” This is met with an awkward silence, and then a response that I wasn’t expecting.
“Rob, you are aware she’s stopped receiving those payments for months now per her own request, aren’t you?”
I pause for a moment, my expression sours soon after.
“Please tell me you’re kidding? So not only I can’t see my son anymore at her own decision, I now can’t even provide for him?”
“To be pretty simple with you, not according to Sharon, no.”
I turn my head back to the window, trying to keep my cool, and trying to not show too much emotion, though I sense that Alex knows where my head is at.
“Do I have any options? I know she’s stopped me seeing Sam, but I always hoped that at least providing for him, and her to a similar extent would always give me a foot in the door once things calmed down.”
“Calmed down? Do you honestly think that she’s calmed down after the shit you pulled last time we were all together? You know Sharon better than anybody, you pissed her off, and then you added to that by pissing her off even more, and then you added to that by threatening her new bloke! You may has well have put a noose around your neck, gave her the rope and told her to pull!”
I don’t move an inch, I just keep looking out the window. He’s right, of course he’s right. I just don’t like the answer whatsoever. Alex is tense at this point, he knows me well, he knows that whilst I may be smouldering right now I could quite easily erupt. I have previous form in that regard, but this time I won’t bite. Instead I just take a deep breath.
“Does she know where I am at the moment? My movements between here and New Orleans?”
“No. After what happened she hasn’t asked me once. That’s how I knew it was serious.” Reid steps closer to me but my reaction is to walk away into the study in the next room. “Hey! Where are you-? What are you-?” He stutters, but doesn’t need to for long as I return armed with a small black folder, almost identical to the file that held the divorce papers.
“Give her these.” I say softly, but with a hint of demand. “Tell her where I am as well.”
“If you care so much, why don’t you do it yourself?” Is the somewhat blurted out reply. I raise an eyebrow at my friend, who looks a bit surprised himself that he just said that. He looks at me like he knows he’s made a grave mistake, but I shake my head.
“No, go on, that sounded like something you’ve wanted to say for a while.” I say coyly.
“Can’t you just come home? Why do you have to be beating blokes in cages and being hidden from the world? Was what happened to you with Myron really that devastating that you needed to do all this? I’ve worried about you before, but this is different, you’re barely you anymore.” Reid confidently replies, clearly impassioned by this subject. My response though is to simply shake my head.
“Alex, I’ve told you before, that isn’t my home any more, not right now anyway. I’m actually happy doing all of these things-”
“But you’re not happy about Sam!” Alex interrupts.
“No, you’re right, and I’m not going to be, but as you said before I’ve generally made a rod for my back here with him. I’ve got some work to do there and it’ll start with you telling Sharon where I am and the giving her that case. I need you to be on board with this, as I’ve always asked you to be, because you are the only person in this world that I wholeheartedly trust.” I firmly answer back to another awkward silence. Reluctantly he grabs the case, staring at me with a look of disappointment.
“Now come on, let’s go watch the game.” I say as I walk towards the exit of the kitchen, trying to relieve the tension, I realise quickly that the damage is done, as we approach the front of the house I turn to the living room, Alex however walks straight out of the door, not saying a word. Leaving the door open I go back and watch him go to his car.
“Oh come on now, Alex! Stay and watch the football at least!” I say, knowing it is somewhat in vein. He simply stares back at me, before getting in his car. Unwilling to watch him leave I close the door, and wander slowly back to the kitchen, just staring at the papers.
“Damnit.”
June 2016
As arrogant as it sounded, I knew my case for Sharon would get a response. I was expecting a phone call, a pretty abusive one at that. Not because the contents were offensive, far from it, but because she was one of the most headstrong women I had ever come across, and I was challenging her in a big way.
I was stood in the back of the bar, I wouldn’t call it an arena, not considering where I’ve fought in the past. There was the usual fifty, maybe sixty people in there, about six of us where fighters, and as always I was last on. The lad I had to fight was a local from across town, slightly bigger than me but didn’t have the guile he needed to beat me, it was a shame because with teaching he could have been something.
I won’t bore you with the details of the fight, only the end. He was desperate, and went for an over elaborate right hook. His fatigue made him slow and predictable, and I took him down into an armbar, and locked it in. As I looked up, feeling him tap out, triggering me to release, I saw her at the back of the room, her eyes cut through at me, Sharon was here. She was dressed as low key as I’ve ever seen her, a black hoodie with hood up, and plain jeans, clearly she wanted to get here without me knowing, and it worked. I rolled back and onto my feet and my arm was raised, but my gaze was locked on her. Without acknowledging a single other person I walked straight back out to the bar, which was empty expect for the barmaid, who ran the bar on fight nights with Kyle overseeing proceedings in the back.
“Tammy, go take a break for a while, I don’t really want too many people listening to what’s about to happen in here.” I say darkly, and head straight behind the bar and grab the bottle of Glenmorangie that sits among the top shelf whiskeys. She looks back at me confused, and slightly scared, despite being a fairly strong girl herself, capable of being behind a bar on her own, the tone wasn’t one she had ever heard of me before.
“Is everything okay?” She whispers.
“It’s fine.” I say with a weary smile. “The thing is, my soon to be ex wife is here, and I need the excuse of being this side of the bar, she’ll have further to reach if she tries to hit me.” I place a hand on her shoulder, encouraging her away.
“Let me know if you need anything.” She says walking out of the bar.
“You’ll only make her more angry.” I say under my breath. No sooner do I finish that joke, the door opens and Sharon walks in, cool, calm, but it’s all in the eyes. Sure enough, the words follow the eyes’ tone.
“You’re just a massive piece of work, aren’t you?” Comes the opening barb.
“Sharon, firstly, hello, how are you? Let me pour you a glass I know how much you enjoy a good drop of scotch” I sarcastically reply, probably not the best response, but anything in attempt to calm the situation. “Oh don’t you dare” is the response, talking over as I continue anyway, unfazed.
“Sharon, I didn’t know how things would work out, but I wanted to cover for all eventualities, because no matter what you think of me, no matter what my actions have appeared to be, I will always care for you, and our son. That will never change. I know that despite your anger of me going against your current wishes that you see that, you just don’t want to admit it. I set up three trusts, one to take Sam to private school, one to take him to university, and one to pay for a deposit on his own house. I haven’t paid for him to become a spoiled little rich brat, nor have I left him with nothing. This covers all expenses for you as well, I have done this for both of you. Now if you want to do nothing with the money, that’s fine, let it go to waste, you’re his mother and I respect that. I’m just doing the right thing, I don’t have to see him, not if it’s going to be that difficult for all involved.”
“You’re damn right I’m his mother, I have been there every day for him of his life, and you stayed for as long as you liked. Swanning back into the UK like some deity that deserved to be worshipped for being in attendance. I have people around me now, people there to support me without you, as they were so quickly after you left. You left with barely a goodbye, barely a reasonable explanation.” She pauses, leaning into the bar and pointing. “You broke my heart, and you kept breaking Sam’s each time you went away again.”
“Well if you had put more consid-”
“Don’t you dare say that I should consider putting him on a plane to here once in a while, if you hadn’t been so damn arrogant about it last time you wouldn’t have a restraining order.” As she’s been talking I’ve carried on and poured a scotch for both of us, and have been drinking mine, listening carefully. At the end of that last blast, she grabs her glass and knocks back a large sip. This amuses me slightly, and she spots it straight out. “Why is this all such a joke to you?” She huffs.
“It’s not that, it’s not that at all.” I sip my scotch in response. “It’s just good to see you. You don’t change at all.”
“But you have.” She bluntly replies. “I wish you hadn’t, I wish you were still that guy I met in college, the guy who came back around the world to win me back, the guy who just had so much more pride in his life than he does now.” She takes another sip. “Now you just lurk in the shadows, preying on the weak, just getting by on that.”
“How much did you watch in there?” I enquire playfully.
“Enough to know that I still hate watching you fight, let’s leave it at that.” She turns slightly away, then looks back at me. “Just tell me why you never came back? I always felt you would, you left the clues that you would, then suddenly nothing, you went missing for a whole two years.”
“I know, and I am sorry about that, but a lot happened-”
“Yes, what happened exactly? You’ve never said.” Comes the sharp reply, I don’t bat an eyelid.
“You’ll know one day, when I’ve accepted it a bit more myself.” I look down at the floor before topping both glasses back up. “Here’s the thing I don’t get though,” I begin to change the subject, “why are you here? You’re not here to have a go at me, you could have done that remotely, there’s more, what made you come to see me.”
“Oh, what despite the fact that you clearly wanted me to, that’s what you told Alex.” Sharon sarcastically responds.
“Well no I never told him that I wanted you to come, I just told him to tell you where I am, I just opened the door should you want to walk through it.” Smugly, I take another sip. “Speaking of Alex, just how angry is he with me right now?”
“Oh don't ask that like you don't care, it's like a school girl playing mind games and it does my head in. He is fine however, he was pretty pissed off until he got on the plane and read what you done for Sam, you know he can’t stay mad at you anyway, none of us really can.” She looks back at me with a sweet smile, one I’ve not seen for years, despite all that’s happened we still have a rapport, which is a relief to me. However, her smile soon disappears, and a businesslike expression appears on her face.
“Rob," she begins slowly, "I reluctantly know and accept that you mean well, but the reason I came wasn’t to shout at you, you’re right about that. The reason I’m here is because there’s one thing in this case I can’t accept, and it’s only right that I return it.” She opens the case and pulls out a framed picture. She gently slides it across to the bar and my eyes widen. It’s a picture of Sharon, Sam, and me on his first birthday, a simple monochrome photo, but the smiles are so genuine. It took me aback immediately, but before I could protest she continued. “I’m here today to make things perfectly clear, you will not see him, certainly not whilst I am still this angry with you, because believe me I am, despite you pulling out your little jokes which still make me laugh and I’m angry at myself for humouring you.”
“Well I am hilar-” I begin sarcastically but am immediately cut off.
“I am not finished. You will not see me either. I need time and distance, and you need to give me that. You’ve spent the last six years playing all sorts of games and spinning all sorts of riddles and I’ve had enough now, and I’m drawing a firm line under it. You wanted me to have this photo to remind Sam who you are and that you still care. Well if you want him to know you still care, you’ll show him in person at a time of my choosing. This photo is all you will see of him. Am I clear?”
I stand perfectly still, taken aback. Admittedly, I have been spinning her around the last six years, fairly or unfairly, and perhaps it was time to admit defeat. I finish my glass and pour another, holding onto the silence for a moment.
“Okay, if that’s what it takes.” I slowly reply. Sharon’s face is one of slight surprise, expecting more of a fight from me perhaps. This time though confrontation wasn’t going to be the solution for me if I wanted to see my son again.
“Is that all you have to say?” She probes.
“Yes, for a change Sharon it is. When you’ve calmed down, changed your mind and want me back in Sam’s life then you know where to find me. I will be right here.” I start to sip more whiskey, and Sharon finishes her glass, and slides it towards me. I offer to pour more but she shakes her head.
“No, I’m done here. I’d say thanks for your cooperation but I’m still unsure if you’re not brewing some scheme. I wouldn’t recommend you do. I'm done trying to second guess you, and for now your word will have to do.” She starts to walk towards the exit of the bar, and again turns her head back. “In the mean time, enjoy being alone, since it’s what you’ve wanted so badly.”
Not allowing me to say anything else, she marches straight out, and the bar is just left in silence, solitary silence.
14 August 2017
“Sharon and Alex are the only two people that I’ve held close. You may try to argue some of my former team mates within Nightmare, or The Brotherhood were close to me but they never understood me on a primal level. I think that you could be the third though, our stories are so similar, whilst the content may be different the results have been almost identical. Those two visits confirmed that I was completely alone in the world of my own devices. Look at you right now, you’re exactly the same, and what this does, it makes us dangerous. I’ll come onto that more though, for now I think we should get another drink and I’ll tell you about the other two.”
"I never expected it to be you. You are the last person I expected to be sharing a drink with right now. You’ve not said a single word about why you’re here, but we both know and it doesn’t need to be talked about right now.
I’ve had a number of ghosts of my past come visit me in the last couple years. Each of these others were people I like, people I love, and people that quite frankly I couldn’t believe had the audacity to walk in here. It’s really important that I tell you about these ghosts, why they were here, because if I’m right about you, and if I’m right about what happens next, we need to have a complete mutual understanding of each other. I’m sure you have a few stories too, but I’ve also been watching your dirty laundry air all over the world in recent weeks.
I have to admit that an onlooker would look at us right now and they wouldn’t understand why you’re here. I wouldn’t expect them to either, but importantly you do, you wouldn’t be here otherwise. I just wish that it was under better circumstances for us. I think we both deserve better, especially you, you’re so much more than you’ve become. I guess that’s why you came though, you must feel it, and you must almost feel the same way about me.
Don’t get me wrong, part of me wishes you weren’t here. I wanted to stay here, in my little bubble, hurting people and getting paid in good whiskey. I was beginning to really like it here, but I sense that time is about to come to an end.
Let me talk to you though about these ghosts, ghosts of the past that have shaped this present.”
May 2016
Let me be pretty honest, the first few months of me being here were pretty great. I kept my routine pretty simple, three days a week in the gym, then come to this bar to cool off, drink some fine scotch, and just be within my own thoughts. Granted, there’s always the odd idiot that needs throwing out, and whilst Kyle could handle himself, especially with that shotgun nestled behind the bar, but he and I both found it more fun to let me handle it. Then there were two fight nights, I treated them like I used to treat a fight back in the day, from my alarm going off to post fight routine I was like clockwork, unflappable in my set routine. The only thing I changed was after it was all said and done I would come back out the front here and pour myself a drink.
As for the last two days, I’d head out of town, down to Tampa. I still have a home there though I’d used it much less since I’ve been out of the business. Now however it was only a short flight out of New Orleans, and I was feeling a sense of calm in that house now. More than ever it felt like home, much more than my home town in England. I should have known though, it was only a matter of time before somebody would be waiting for me there. That person was the only man that I would call a friend, my friend, Alex Reid.
I got back to the house early that day, it was just before midday and as I pulled my rental car into the drive I spotted his car immediately and knew it was him. Alex is a tall guy, and he only drives SUV’s, and given that it was a rental that was clearly more expensive than mine, I knew who it was. I laughed out loud immediately as I pulled in. I hadn’t seen him in a few years, though I had spoken to him since. However the last time I did see him, he was stopping me getting arrested, but that’s another story for another time.
I got out the car and looked around, he was already in the house. That’s fine, he knew the code to get in and had a key. This was and still is the only man that has my utmost trust. After inspecting his rental car I go back to mine and remove the bag from the trunk, and stride towards the front door. I don’t hesitate and walk straight in, as the door gets no more than half open I hear him shout from the kitchen, which is located to the back of the house.
“There’s a guy coming in an hour or so with beers and Mexican food, I know how excited you get about Mexican food.” He chirps, almost automatically.
"See, that’s where you’re wrong, I get excited about the fact that we now live in an age where we can use our phones to bring a man to wherever the hell we are in the country and he will give us the food and drink we desire, of almost any origin or flavour. Some may say that we are becoming lazier as a race, and perhaps they are right, however at this moment in time, when the benefits that we will gain from this order, I have to respectfully disagree with these people.” I respond almost without hesitation, and walk straight into the kitchen where Reid is stood, leaning against a counter and looking out towards the rear garden and swimming pool. He then turns and greets me with a hug.
“It’s good to see you.” He says, stepping back to look me up and down.
“And you, I had a feeling you would be here this time but couldn’t be sure.” I reply, before a short pause. “Though I have to cut the BS here mate, I can tell that this visit isn’t just about watching the football with me, you could do that any time and could plan that ahead with me.” I fold my arms and shoot a glance at Reid, a simple look, one that I’ve used on him since we were kids, and it never ceases to entertain me that this look prompts him to tell me the truth every time. The man can lie, I’ve watched him bullshit some of the most esteemed business men and women, but not to me. As always, the look works, and his eyebrows raise up and a deep sigh tells me that I’m right.
“Couldn’t we have had a nice time first and had a drink, watched the football, and then I would have upset you after?”
Is the somewhat exasperated response.
“Alex, the football will piss me off anyway, you may as well get me in the mood now!” Is my straight reply, though said with a smirk. He sighs again before nodding towards a file on the table. I turn my head and see it and my demeanour drops slightly.
“It’s more of a heads up, rather than anything official, but there’s pretty much all you need to know in there.” Reid says gently.
I know what the file is, truth be told I’ve been expecting this for a long time. It’s the brief of Sharon’s plans to divorce me. Let me stress this again I have been expecting this, I’ve been expecting it since I packed up and flew away, yet there’s that part of me that wondered if she’d ever actually go through with it. I reached that point in my head that perhaps if she hadn’t done it after leaving, hadn’t done it after Leeds, then she may not do it at all. Clearly that was foolish, and now it sat there, a simple black file. I nod slowly in acceptance, but choose to walk past it and look out to the back of the house.
“Just give me the highlights, I’ll look at it tomorrow when I leave.” I say, almost robotically, placing my hands behind my back.
“There’s not actually much to it. In fact there’s almost nothing to it. She doesn’t want a thing from you mate.” Is the sobering response.
“Nothing?” I turn my head towards him. “Define nothing? Surely she still will expect payments for Sam?” This is met with an awkward silence, and then a response that I wasn’t expecting.
“Rob, you are aware she’s stopped receiving those payments for months now per her own request, aren’t you?”
I pause for a moment, my expression sours soon after.
“Please tell me you’re kidding? So not only I can’t see my son anymore at her own decision, I now can’t even provide for him?”
“To be pretty simple with you, not according to Sharon, no.”
I turn my head back to the window, trying to keep my cool, and trying to not show too much emotion, though I sense that Alex knows where my head is at.
“Do I have any options? I know she’s stopped me seeing Sam, but I always hoped that at least providing for him, and her to a similar extent would always give me a foot in the door once things calmed down.”
“Calmed down? Do you honestly think that she’s calmed down after the shit you pulled last time we were all together? You know Sharon better than anybody, you pissed her off, and then you added to that by pissing her off even more, and then you added to that by threatening her new bloke! You may has well have put a noose around your neck, gave her the rope and told her to pull!”
I don’t move an inch, I just keep looking out the window. He’s right, of course he’s right. I just don’t like the answer whatsoever. Alex is tense at this point, he knows me well, he knows that whilst I may be smouldering right now I could quite easily erupt. I have previous form in that regard, but this time I won’t bite. Instead I just take a deep breath.
“Does she know where I am at the moment? My movements between here and New Orleans?”
“No. After what happened she hasn’t asked me once. That’s how I knew it was serious.” Reid steps closer to me but my reaction is to walk away into the study in the next room. “Hey! Where are you-? What are you-?” He stutters, but doesn’t need to for long as I return armed with a small black folder, almost identical to the file that held the divorce papers.
“Give her these.” I say softly, but with a hint of demand. “Tell her where I am as well.”
“If you care so much, why don’t you do it yourself?” Is the somewhat blurted out reply. I raise an eyebrow at my friend, who looks a bit surprised himself that he just said that. He looks at me like he knows he’s made a grave mistake, but I shake my head.
“No, go on, that sounded like something you’ve wanted to say for a while.” I say coyly.
“Can’t you just come home? Why do you have to be beating blokes in cages and being hidden from the world? Was what happened to you with Myron really that devastating that you needed to do all this? I’ve worried about you before, but this is different, you’re barely you anymore.” Reid confidently replies, clearly impassioned by this subject. My response though is to simply shake my head.
“Alex, I’ve told you before, that isn’t my home any more, not right now anyway. I’m actually happy doing all of these things-”
“But you’re not happy about Sam!” Alex interrupts.
“No, you’re right, and I’m not going to be, but as you said before I’ve generally made a rod for my back here with him. I’ve got some work to do there and it’ll start with you telling Sharon where I am and the giving her that case. I need you to be on board with this, as I’ve always asked you to be, because you are the only person in this world that I wholeheartedly trust.” I firmly answer back to another awkward silence. Reluctantly he grabs the case, staring at me with a look of disappointment.
“Now come on, let’s go watch the game.” I say as I walk towards the exit of the kitchen, trying to relieve the tension, I realise quickly that the damage is done, as we approach the front of the house I turn to the living room, Alex however walks straight out of the door, not saying a word. Leaving the door open I go back and watch him go to his car.
“Oh come on now, Alex! Stay and watch the football at least!” I say, knowing it is somewhat in vein. He simply stares back at me, before getting in his car. Unwilling to watch him leave I close the door, and wander slowly back to the kitchen, just staring at the papers.
“Damnit.”
June 2016
As arrogant as it sounded, I knew my case for Sharon would get a response. I was expecting a phone call, a pretty abusive one at that. Not because the contents were offensive, far from it, but because she was one of the most headstrong women I had ever come across, and I was challenging her in a big way.
I was stood in the back of the bar, I wouldn’t call it an arena, not considering where I’ve fought in the past. There was the usual fifty, maybe sixty people in there, about six of us where fighters, and as always I was last on. The lad I had to fight was a local from across town, slightly bigger than me but didn’t have the guile he needed to beat me, it was a shame because with teaching he could have been something.
I won’t bore you with the details of the fight, only the end. He was desperate, and went for an over elaborate right hook. His fatigue made him slow and predictable, and I took him down into an armbar, and locked it in. As I looked up, feeling him tap out, triggering me to release, I saw her at the back of the room, her eyes cut through at me, Sharon was here. She was dressed as low key as I’ve ever seen her, a black hoodie with hood up, and plain jeans, clearly she wanted to get here without me knowing, and it worked. I rolled back and onto my feet and my arm was raised, but my gaze was locked on her. Without acknowledging a single other person I walked straight back out to the bar, which was empty expect for the barmaid, who ran the bar on fight nights with Kyle overseeing proceedings in the back.
“Tammy, go take a break for a while, I don’t really want too many people listening to what’s about to happen in here.” I say darkly, and head straight behind the bar and grab the bottle of Glenmorangie that sits among the top shelf whiskeys. She looks back at me confused, and slightly scared, despite being a fairly strong girl herself, capable of being behind a bar on her own, the tone wasn’t one she had ever heard of me before.
“Is everything okay?” She whispers.
“It’s fine.” I say with a weary smile. “The thing is, my soon to be ex wife is here, and I need the excuse of being this side of the bar, she’ll have further to reach if she tries to hit me.” I place a hand on her shoulder, encouraging her away.
“Let me know if you need anything.” She says walking out of the bar.
“You’ll only make her more angry.” I say under my breath. No sooner do I finish that joke, the door opens and Sharon walks in, cool, calm, but it’s all in the eyes. Sure enough, the words follow the eyes’ tone.
“You’re just a massive piece of work, aren’t you?” Comes the opening barb.
“Sharon, firstly, hello, how are you? Let me pour you a glass I know how much you enjoy a good drop of scotch” I sarcastically reply, probably not the best response, but anything in attempt to calm the situation. “Oh don’t you dare” is the response, talking over as I continue anyway, unfazed.
“Sharon, I didn’t know how things would work out, but I wanted to cover for all eventualities, because no matter what you think of me, no matter what my actions have appeared to be, I will always care for you, and our son. That will never change. I know that despite your anger of me going against your current wishes that you see that, you just don’t want to admit it. I set up three trusts, one to take Sam to private school, one to take him to university, and one to pay for a deposit on his own house. I haven’t paid for him to become a spoiled little rich brat, nor have I left him with nothing. This covers all expenses for you as well, I have done this for both of you. Now if you want to do nothing with the money, that’s fine, let it go to waste, you’re his mother and I respect that. I’m just doing the right thing, I don’t have to see him, not if it’s going to be that difficult for all involved.”
“You’re damn right I’m his mother, I have been there every day for him of his life, and you stayed for as long as you liked. Swanning back into the UK like some deity that deserved to be worshipped for being in attendance. I have people around me now, people there to support me without you, as they were so quickly after you left. You left with barely a goodbye, barely a reasonable explanation.” She pauses, leaning into the bar and pointing. “You broke my heart, and you kept breaking Sam’s each time you went away again.”
“Well if you had put more consid-”
“Don’t you dare say that I should consider putting him on a plane to here once in a while, if you hadn’t been so damn arrogant about it last time you wouldn’t have a restraining order.” As she’s been talking I’ve carried on and poured a scotch for both of us, and have been drinking mine, listening carefully. At the end of that last blast, she grabs her glass and knocks back a large sip. This amuses me slightly, and she spots it straight out. “Why is this all such a joke to you?” She huffs.
“It’s not that, it’s not that at all.” I sip my scotch in response. “It’s just good to see you. You don’t change at all.”
“But you have.” She bluntly replies. “I wish you hadn’t, I wish you were still that guy I met in college, the guy who came back around the world to win me back, the guy who just had so much more pride in his life than he does now.” She takes another sip. “Now you just lurk in the shadows, preying on the weak, just getting by on that.”
“How much did you watch in there?” I enquire playfully.
“Enough to know that I still hate watching you fight, let’s leave it at that.” She turns slightly away, then looks back at me. “Just tell me why you never came back? I always felt you would, you left the clues that you would, then suddenly nothing, you went missing for a whole two years.”
“I know, and I am sorry about that, but a lot happened-”
“Yes, what happened exactly? You’ve never said.” Comes the sharp reply, I don’t bat an eyelid.
“You’ll know one day, when I’ve accepted it a bit more myself.” I look down at the floor before topping both glasses back up. “Here’s the thing I don’t get though,” I begin to change the subject, “why are you here? You’re not here to have a go at me, you could have done that remotely, there’s more, what made you come to see me.”
“Oh, what despite the fact that you clearly wanted me to, that’s what you told Alex.” Sharon sarcastically responds.
“Well no I never told him that I wanted you to come, I just told him to tell you where I am, I just opened the door should you want to walk through it.” Smugly, I take another sip. “Speaking of Alex, just how angry is he with me right now?”
“Oh don't ask that like you don't care, it's like a school girl playing mind games and it does my head in. He is fine however, he was pretty pissed off until he got on the plane and read what you done for Sam, you know he can’t stay mad at you anyway, none of us really can.” She looks back at me with a sweet smile, one I’ve not seen for years, despite all that’s happened we still have a rapport, which is a relief to me. However, her smile soon disappears, and a businesslike expression appears on her face.
“Rob," she begins slowly, "I reluctantly know and accept that you mean well, but the reason I came wasn’t to shout at you, you’re right about that. The reason I’m here is because there’s one thing in this case I can’t accept, and it’s only right that I return it.” She opens the case and pulls out a framed picture. She gently slides it across to the bar and my eyes widen. It’s a picture of Sharon, Sam, and me on his first birthday, a simple monochrome photo, but the smiles are so genuine. It took me aback immediately, but before I could protest she continued. “I’m here today to make things perfectly clear, you will not see him, certainly not whilst I am still this angry with you, because believe me I am, despite you pulling out your little jokes which still make me laugh and I’m angry at myself for humouring you.”
“Well I am hilar-” I begin sarcastically but am immediately cut off.
“I am not finished. You will not see me either. I need time and distance, and you need to give me that. You’ve spent the last six years playing all sorts of games and spinning all sorts of riddles and I’ve had enough now, and I’m drawing a firm line under it. You wanted me to have this photo to remind Sam who you are and that you still care. Well if you want him to know you still care, you’ll show him in person at a time of my choosing. This photo is all you will see of him. Am I clear?”
I stand perfectly still, taken aback. Admittedly, I have been spinning her around the last six years, fairly or unfairly, and perhaps it was time to admit defeat. I finish my glass and pour another, holding onto the silence for a moment.
“Okay, if that’s what it takes.” I slowly reply. Sharon’s face is one of slight surprise, expecting more of a fight from me perhaps. This time though confrontation wasn’t going to be the solution for me if I wanted to see my son again.
“Is that all you have to say?” She probes.
“Yes, for a change Sharon it is. When you’ve calmed down, changed your mind and want me back in Sam’s life then you know where to find me. I will be right here.” I start to sip more whiskey, and Sharon finishes her glass, and slides it towards me. I offer to pour more but she shakes her head.
“No, I’m done here. I’d say thanks for your cooperation but I’m still unsure if you’re not brewing some scheme. I wouldn’t recommend you do. I'm done trying to second guess you, and for now your word will have to do.” She starts to walk towards the exit of the bar, and again turns her head back. “In the mean time, enjoy being alone, since it’s what you’ve wanted so badly.”
Not allowing me to say anything else, she marches straight out, and the bar is just left in silence, solitary silence.
14 August 2017
“Sharon and Alex are the only two people that I’ve held close. You may try to argue some of my former team mates within Nightmare, or The Brotherhood were close to me but they never understood me on a primal level. I think that you could be the third though, our stories are so similar, whilst the content may be different the results have been almost identical. Those two visits confirmed that I was completely alone in the world of my own devices. Look at you right now, you’re exactly the same, and what this does, it makes us dangerous. I’ll come onto that more though, for now I think we should get another drink and I’ll tell you about the other two.”
