Post by Steele on Sept 11, 2017 16:53:02 GMT -5
ISSUE #2 - 09/11/17
Hello subscriber(s) and welcome to Pro Wrestling Grapevine!
I'm Matt Smug and it's time for some more news from the world of wrestling! Here are the top stories from the XHF right now!
ROMANO EUNT DOMUS
We all know and love Cassius Romano as the play-by-play man for AWF's bi-weekly Prestige show, but on last week's show there was a bizarre run-in with wrestler T-Bone after the latter's victory over Poltergeist. T-Bone went over to the commentary table and proceeded to swipe all of Romano's notes onto the floor, as if he were about to make passionate love to him. I suspect that this is not the case - so I made a few phone calls to try and get to the bottom of this apparent beef.
Most of the AWF talent I spoke to either didn't know anything about it - or weren't willing to spill the beans - but I did manage to find one member of the roster willing to hand over some info in exchange for some cold, hard cash.
"Oh my god I haven't seen this much money since... oh wow there must be at least fifteen dollars here! Oh thank you thank you thank you my little boy will be able to eat tonight... hmm? Oh, T-Bone and Romano? Oh yeah, I totally know what that's all about. T-Bone's got a real good reason to be mad with Romano - they go way back. A lot of history there. Lot of bad blood. What is it? Uh... it'll cost ya. Five more. No, ten. Oh yeah, that's the shit. Huh? Oh right! Yeah, T-Bone is actually Romano's dad or something and Romano was meant to be grounded, so he got in a load of trouble for being at Prestige the other night. Of course it's true! I swear! No you can't have the money ba-"
-AWF Source
Is Cassius Romano T-Bone's secret lovechild? I'm going to go out on a limb here and take a guess that this story might not be entirely accurate. Still, the AWF is basically the spiritual successor to the KWF so... you never know... perhaps my anonymous contact might be on to something.
SOME MORE FROM MY ANONYMOUS AWF CONTACT:
Speaking of Copycat, he gave me a sneak preview of his upcoming video game mod, Extreme Warfare Revenge: AWF Edition! It's currently still in development but he promises me that it's going to be worth the wait. He promises that you'll be able to take full control of all aspects of AWF from putting together cards, to hiring and firing wrestlers, to coming up with angles and literally anything else that you can do in the wrestling biz! Superstars such as Hyperion, Jason Justice, Ezriel, Alex Jones, Prestige Class Champion Kira Izumi and AWF Champion Jackson Steele are all expected to be in the game, as well as the man behind it all - Copycat - who hinted that he would be set with perfect stats by default.
TOURNAMENTS GALORE!
Two big tournaments within XHF Network are getting underway soon - first of all is XHF's End Of Days Tournament, with the winner being granted a shot at the X*Crown Champion (currently it's still the pig) - the tournament will take place over the course of several days in October, and already qualified are AWF's Jackson Steele, Hyperion,
Nelly Angel, Alex Jones, Ezriel, Michael Storm, Jay Cutter and Kira Izumi.
The remaining eight spots in the tournament are expected to be made up of XHF Legends and independents - and there has been a lot of interest from said legends and indies already with applications from Scorpion, Price, Curtis Kanyon and Shogun-Tron, with AK Andrews and Duke Kosloff applying as independents. There is no word yet as to the allocation of spaces for Tragic Gaijin Kingdom wrestlers to enter, and Mad Dog Smith has put himself forward as an independent entrant.
But even if they aren't represented at End of Days, TGK won't be missing out on tournament action as Mr. Sumo II sent out this tweet just a few days ago:
At the curiously-named Six-Man Climax event a lop-sided tournament will take place in order to crown the first-ever TGK Tragic Grand Champion Of The Americas And Also Canada - now that's a name that just rolls off the tongue, don't you think? The Championship will be contended by Lou Chador, Mad Dog Smith, Franku Furetcha, Juntaro Junkyard,
Ultra Killer and Jeffrey Viper.
Terry Bradshaw has been on the run for more than two weeks now, following "The Incident" at the VFW in Bethesda, Ohio. I spoke to the local Sheriff's Office to see if I could find out any details.
"Shit, we got nothing."
-Officer #2
Undeterred, I spoke to a few of the residents to see if they had any leads. And finally, I struck gold.
"That Bradshaw whippersnapper? He's been hidin' in the old tree down by the brook! I saw him with mah own two eyes clear as day! He comes down in the middle of the night to search through the trash and then he slinks back on up there to hide 'til dark!"
-Cletus Van Terminator, Civil War Veteran
Mr. Van Terminator told me that the Police were not interested in his story, so I headed back to the PD to relay what I'd heard. I suspected that Cletus' age might be causing them to completely disregard anything he says as just the ramblings of a dementia-riddled 164-year-old, and that a second person reporting the same story might spur them into action. Sure enough, when someone with all their marbles reported a sighting of Bradshaw down by the brook, they raced off to the scene.
They found one particularly pissed-off raccoon. The search continues.
© Matt Smug 2017 The content of this newsletter is an opinion piece and may or may not be true and/or speculation and/or fabricated. All sources are genuine but unchecked and their truthfulness may vary. The reader is advised that they and they alone must decide upon whether or not to believe and/or disbelieve in or against any or all or part of the whole and accept full responsibility for any opinions they may or may not form as a result or otherwise of reading all or none or part of this newsletter or not.