With My Baby Tonight! (Curtis RP - EOD)
Sept 28, 2017 18:30:28 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Rage (aka NoMercyMaster2001), and 4 more like this
Post by Curtis D. Kanyon on Sept 28, 2017 18:30:28 GMT -5
**Fade in. Casa de Curtis. Bedroom. Nightfall.**
*We see Curtis Kanyon wearing a nice shirt, some good jeans, and is fixing a tie around his neck. Lookin’ fancy! And singing a tune!*
Curtis: 'Spend my day working hard on the go, but the hands on the clock keep spinning too slow, 'Cause I can't wait to be alone with my baby toni-hiight…
*Curtis notices the camera.*
Curtis: What the what? Did I request time? Huh…I guess I must have. The misses let you in?
*The camera shakes up and down.*
Curtis: What a doll. Its date night! ...sponsored by B.A.N.G. Fish Attractant Spray... Early celebration, and after dinner, a little good luck for the tournament, if you know what I mean, winky face.
*Yes, Curtis said “winky face” again. And winks right after. What’s the point of that? But otherwise, we know what he means, know what I mean? If you don’t, ask your parents. Also, why are you here, you are way too innocent for this place!*
Curtis: You know, I think I remember why I called you over. I have to thank Jackson Steele for tonight. So Jackson, this is for you. Thank you. Thank you so much. I mean, I already like you for making me money. Returnings on my investments in AWF have been pretty good so far. Thank you for inspiring me into getting revved up and ready for End of Days, I love the thrill of the challenge! But the real catalyst for date night… well, I had to do my research on ya. I had to watch tapes to get to know my opponent. I took a deep dive on Google. And I found out you took deep dives, if you know what I mean, winky face.
*Look, I warned all the innocent people to leave, so if you’re still here, it’s on you!*
Curtis: It was a surprise to me that I was financing the AWF, so you’ll have to excuse me. You impressed from what I saw on the show. But when I Googled you, wow! You really impressed me! You and Exxxstacey. I took a real deep dive on her too. So thanks for that. Really makes me want to romance my lady thanks to you. Really got my engine revved man! When the date is over we’ll be coming home to bed, but we won’t be going to sleep, if you know what I mean.
*We know, we know!*
Curtis: We’ll be… up… all… night… if you know what I mean.
*Seriously, we know what you mean.*
Curtis: I mean sex.
*Face palm.*
Curtis: Why am I telling you this…well, because I know you want to know. But also, because of the parallels in the ways with which you have influenced my life. You’re past “entertainment” videos have me ready for a night with the misses. And you’re wrestling prowess has made me ready to come back into that ring and beat your face in! By Odin’s Beard, I am so ready!
*He shakes with anticipation, for the match or the night out…I’m not really sure?*
Curtis: I love me a good fight. And it does suck that for the past few years, I’ve been denied. You’re a champion, so if that alone is not proof that you’ll be a great battle, then the matches I saw with your clothes on was proof! I know you think I’m “old” and blah blah blah, but did you see what I did to Arial and T-Baz last week? And that was with Copycat as my partner! So if you think I’ve missed a step, go back and study that tape as much as I’ve studied yours! You’ll be pleasantly surprised! Or, unlike your starlet friends, you won’t see me coming.
*Okay, that one was pretty good. Anyway, Curtis adjusts his tie. His hot ass wife enters the room.*
Esmerelda: Honey badger, are you almost done, we’re going to be late!
Curtis: Yes dear!
*Curtis turns to the camera.*
Curtis: Be back later! Wait for me!
*Curtis happily runs out of the room, looking all giddy. Go get her tiger!*
**Fade out.**
**Fade in. Casa de Curtis. Poolside. Four hours later. Nightfall.**
*Curtis sits in a lounge chair, wearing a bath robe. A lit stogie between his index and middle finger on his left hand. Probably Cuban. He rolls deep yo. He takes a drag.*
Curtis: Oh yeah. The misses was left very happy. Very happy indeed. You know that thing you did in “Forrest Rump?” YOU KNOW. She loved that one. This "old dog" can still learn some tricks. Oh man, the thing from “Cosmo Sluts 12,” that was great for me! It almost makes me feel bad I have to ruin you.
*Curtis takes a loooong drag.*
Curtis: ...Almost. To be honest, and maybe it’s the heightened pheromones talking, you’re a good kid. You're going to be a star someday. My star. But as the saying goes, "iron sharpens iron." And I'm not talking about your movie "Iron Bodies, Bronze Booties." No Mr. Steele, I'm talking about you getting in there with one of the baddest sons of bitches the ring has ever seen. You've had it pretty good here so far. But it's time someone slapped you around and humbled you.
*Curtis takes another drag off that sweet sweet cigar.*
Curtis: In the long run, it’s good for you and it’s good for me. Not like that scene in “Romancing the Nerds: Bukalculator,” that was… not good for you. I mean, wow. That one I could not finish watching. But think of me as Sindri in this scenario. Of course you know Sindri, the blacksmith who created the mighty Thor’s hammer. And so in this scenario, you are Mjollnir, and I am pounding you into great shape. Much like “That’s No Mannequin 3” when you gave that great pounding. I digress, anyway, I’m whipping you into shape, and then you can watch me climb onto the top of the End of Days tournament mountain. I’m going to make you proud Steele. I’m going to make you happy. I mean, you’re going to suffer on Sunday, and you’ll probably be pissed at first, but when the dust settles, you’ll realize I’m helping you. Unlike how you “helped” that girl in “Rocking RV,” I can’t believe you dropped her off in the middle of the desert instead of her actual destination! What a jerk!
*Curtis shakes his head in disappointment. He really feels bad for that girl.*
Curtis: Anyway, it’s about time to go back in for round two. Because I’ve got good stamina you see. Well, you know all about that too. Sunday, I’m expecting a war. At least, I want a war. The halls of Valhalla will celebrate the action they’ll see this Sunday. But don’t get your hopes up that you’ll see round two, because you won’t. The only thing you can bank on though, is that you will… feel…the… BANG! Winky face.
*I don’t… I can’t even. Anyway, he walks back into his mansion. He picks up a remote and pushes a button. The lights dim and Barry White’s “Can’t Get Enough of Your Love Babe” plays on some loud speakers somewhere inside the house. Curtis closing the sliding door and the sound muffles.*
**Fade out.**
*We see Curtis Kanyon wearing a nice shirt, some good jeans, and is fixing a tie around his neck. Lookin’ fancy! And singing a tune!*
Curtis: 'Spend my day working hard on the go, but the hands on the clock keep spinning too slow, 'Cause I can't wait to be alone with my baby toni-hiight…
*Curtis notices the camera.*
Curtis: What the what? Did I request time? Huh…I guess I must have. The misses let you in?
*The camera shakes up and down.*
Curtis: What a doll. Its date night! ...sponsored by B.A.N.G. Fish Attractant Spray... Early celebration, and after dinner, a little good luck for the tournament, if you know what I mean, winky face.
*Yes, Curtis said “winky face” again. And winks right after. What’s the point of that? But otherwise, we know what he means, know what I mean? If you don’t, ask your parents. Also, why are you here, you are way too innocent for this place!*
Curtis: You know, I think I remember why I called you over. I have to thank Jackson Steele for tonight. So Jackson, this is for you. Thank you. Thank you so much. I mean, I already like you for making me money. Returnings on my investments in AWF have been pretty good so far. Thank you for inspiring me into getting revved up and ready for End of Days, I love the thrill of the challenge! But the real catalyst for date night… well, I had to do my research on ya. I had to watch tapes to get to know my opponent. I took a deep dive on Google. And I found out you took deep dives, if you know what I mean, winky face.
*Look, I warned all the innocent people to leave, so if you’re still here, it’s on you!*
Curtis: It was a surprise to me that I was financing the AWF, so you’ll have to excuse me. You impressed from what I saw on the show. But when I Googled you, wow! You really impressed me! You and Exxxstacey. I took a real deep dive on her too. So thanks for that. Really makes me want to romance my lady thanks to you. Really got my engine revved man! When the date is over we’ll be coming home to bed, but we won’t be going to sleep, if you know what I mean.
*We know, we know!*
Curtis: We’ll be… up… all… night… if you know what I mean.
*Seriously, we know what you mean.*
Curtis: I mean sex.
*Face palm.*
Curtis: Why am I telling you this…well, because I know you want to know. But also, because of the parallels in the ways with which you have influenced my life. You’re past “entertainment” videos have me ready for a night with the misses. And you’re wrestling prowess has made me ready to come back into that ring and beat your face in! By Odin’s Beard, I am so ready!
*He shakes with anticipation, for the match or the night out…I’m not really sure?*
Curtis: I love me a good fight. And it does suck that for the past few years, I’ve been denied. You’re a champion, so if that alone is not proof that you’ll be a great battle, then the matches I saw with your clothes on was proof! I know you think I’m “old” and blah blah blah, but did you see what I did to Arial and T-Baz last week? And that was with Copycat as my partner! So if you think I’ve missed a step, go back and study that tape as much as I’ve studied yours! You’ll be pleasantly surprised! Or, unlike your starlet friends, you won’t see me coming.
*Okay, that one was pretty good. Anyway, Curtis adjusts his tie. His hot ass wife enters the room.*
Esmerelda: Honey badger, are you almost done, we’re going to be late!
Curtis: Yes dear!
*Curtis turns to the camera.*
Curtis: Be back later! Wait for me!
*Curtis happily runs out of the room, looking all giddy. Go get her tiger!*
**Fade out.**
**Fade in. Casa de Curtis. Poolside. Four hours later. Nightfall.**
*Curtis sits in a lounge chair, wearing a bath robe. A lit stogie between his index and middle finger on his left hand. Probably Cuban. He rolls deep yo. He takes a drag.*
Curtis: Oh yeah. The misses was left very happy. Very happy indeed. You know that thing you did in “Forrest Rump?” YOU KNOW. She loved that one. This "old dog" can still learn some tricks. Oh man, the thing from “Cosmo Sluts 12,” that was great for me! It almost makes me feel bad I have to ruin you.
*Curtis takes a loooong drag.*
Curtis: ...Almost. To be honest, and maybe it’s the heightened pheromones talking, you’re a good kid. You're going to be a star someday. My star. But as the saying goes, "iron sharpens iron." And I'm not talking about your movie "Iron Bodies, Bronze Booties." No Mr. Steele, I'm talking about you getting in there with one of the baddest sons of bitches the ring has ever seen. You've had it pretty good here so far. But it's time someone slapped you around and humbled you.
*Curtis takes another drag off that sweet sweet cigar.*
Curtis: In the long run, it’s good for you and it’s good for me. Not like that scene in “Romancing the Nerds: Bukalculator,” that was… not good for you. I mean, wow. That one I could not finish watching. But think of me as Sindri in this scenario. Of course you know Sindri, the blacksmith who created the mighty Thor’s hammer. And so in this scenario, you are Mjollnir, and I am pounding you into great shape. Much like “That’s No Mannequin 3” when you gave that great pounding. I digress, anyway, I’m whipping you into shape, and then you can watch me climb onto the top of the End of Days tournament mountain. I’m going to make you proud Steele. I’m going to make you happy. I mean, you’re going to suffer on Sunday, and you’ll probably be pissed at first, but when the dust settles, you’ll realize I’m helping you. Unlike how you “helped” that girl in “Rocking RV,” I can’t believe you dropped her off in the middle of the desert instead of her actual destination! What a jerk!
*Curtis shakes his head in disappointment. He really feels bad for that girl.*
Curtis: Anyway, it’s about time to go back in for round two. Because I’ve got good stamina you see. Well, you know all about that too. Sunday, I’m expecting a war. At least, I want a war. The halls of Valhalla will celebrate the action they’ll see this Sunday. But don’t get your hopes up that you’ll see round two, because you won’t. The only thing you can bank on though, is that you will… feel…the… BANG! Winky face.
*I don’t… I can’t even. Anyway, he walks back into his mansion. He picks up a remote and pushes a button. The lights dim and Barry White’s “Can’t Get Enough of Your Love Babe” plays on some loud speakers somewhere inside the house. Curtis closing the sliding door and the sound muffles.*
**Fade out.**
