Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Oct 3, 2017 2:43:43 GMT -5
*The camera opens in the apartment of Nelly Angel. We see Nelly himself sitting crossed legged on the floor with a Nintendo 64 controller in his hands, he watches the TV intently. Randy comes into the camera frame, presumably out of the hallway. He sees Nelly happily playing the video game and seems…confused.*
Randy: Nell…what’s going on?
*Nelly pauses the game and turns around.*
Nelly: I’m training!
Randy: No, you’re playing a video game. Which I’m pretty sure was my idea and ended in tears.
Nelly: Oh...yeah. Sorry about that. There were a lot of emotions going around that time. But now that things are squared away with Shogun-Tron-
Randy: Also my idea.
Nelly: -Yeah, well, now that things are squared away I can focus on doing what we’ve set out to do, make this a classic match of two iron wills forged together in the heat of battle!
*Randy must have woken up recently, he seems groggy. He blinks.*
Randy: O…k. So why are you playing video games?
*Nelly stands up and approaches his brother (circumnavigating the couch as he does so).*
Nelly: Not just any games, man, I’m playing the greatest FPS game ever for the N64!
*Randy is still a little slow today. He calmly bends down and picks up a bottle of booze that was previously blocked from our sight by the couch. He takes sip for good luck and walks over to the kitchen nook to start mixing a drink. As he does his mind starts to wake up.*
Randy: Ok, none of that made any sense. How is Fpsing supposed to help you beat Shogun-Tron when all Space Invaders did was make you cry?
*Nelly follows his brother.*
Nelly: F-P-S-ing, first-person-shooting. Also, how do you not recognize any of this?
Randy: I’m older than you.
Nelly: Yeah, by a couple years and this stuff is all within our generation. Either way, Space Invaders wasn’t the problem- but I wasn’t feeling it after the….
Randy: Crying.
Nelly: Yeah…that. But I figured the best way to train was to get into Shogun-Tron’s head. He lives his whole life as a gun- or with a gun on his arm any way. I wanted to find out how that felt. So I dusted off Goldeneye, the classic James Bond shooter- and I’m playing in first-person mode.
*Randy has finished making his concoction and takes a sip. He nods.*
Randy: Ok, good. How are you doing?
Nelly: I’ve passed the Dam, several times. I’m actually getting pretty good at the Dam.
Randy: Good, is that like the mid-boss or something?
Nelly: It’s the first level.
*Pause.*
Randy: You’re not good at games are you?
*Pause*
Nelly: …No, no I’m not. Which reminds me, I need you to go out and get me a Game Shark.
Randy: I’m pretty sure that’s illegal.
Nelly: Har har, it’s a special cartridge that helps me to unlock cheat codes so I can get past the first level.
Randy: Oh. And you want it for the Not-Atari 64?
Nelly: Yeah, the Nintendo 64.
Randy: Ok, deal. But when I’m gone I want you to cut a promo.
Nelly: Fine fine, whatever.
*Nelly goes back to his game as Randy takes a few triumphant glugs of his wake-up drink. He then yells into the hallway.*
Randy: Happy! We’re going for a walk! WITH CLOTHES THIS TIME!
*We then fade out.*
*We fade back in as Nelly continues to play Goldeneye, Randy walks in to the apartment carrying an N64 Game Shark and a big smile….which quickly fades when he realizes…*
Randy: You’ve been playing that the whole time haven’t you?
*Nelly doesn’t even look up.*
Nelly: Oh wow, you got back quick.
Randy: No, I’ve been gone for hours- no game store still sells this stupid thing. I had to talk to hobos- which Happy really enjoyed….wait.
*Randy looks behind him.*
Randy: Where’s Happy? I shou- may-
*Finally he defeated shrugs.*
Randy: Whatever, I’m sure he’ll be fine. Anyway, I got your stupid cartridge. Did you get better at the game?
Nelly: Oh yeah, I just figured out how to get through those two locked doors and now I’m meeting 006.
*Randy watches for a moment.*
Nelly: WHAT!? HE’S A TRAITOR!?
Randy: Spoilers!
Nelly: The movie came out more than ten years ago!
Randy: Wow, this is a huge turn in the story, is he like the final boss?
Nelly: Maybe, but this is just the second level!
*Randy sighs.*
Randy: Here, you need this.
*He tosses the Game Shark at Nelly.*
Randy: I’ll cut the promo, you just…keep….training. Or whatever.
*Nelly doesn’t listen, Randy gets ready to go back out.*
Randy: *sigh* How am I the most responsible one here?
*Nelly actually was listening.*
Nelly: You set Michael Storm’s car on fire
Randy: I was drunk!
Nelly: You’re always drunk.
Randy: Yeah well I was more drunk than usual since Mr. Tequila II and I were partying!
Nelly: That cat is a bad influence on you.
Randy: Whatever man, I’m gonna cut your stupid promo.
Nelly: Whatevs bro.
*We fade.*
*Fade back in on a rooftop overlooking San Francisco (it’s probably the roof of Nelly’s apartment building). The wind blows as Randy Angel looks into the camera.*
Randy: Alright, now that everyone’s gotten their tears and hugs and other crap out of the way all that’s left is Sunday. Shogun-Tron, you’re a weird guy. That’s pretty par for the course though at this point. But I want to let you know some things.
*Randy holds up his index finger.*
Randy: One! My brother hasn’t been pinned yet since the XHF Network opened. Sure, ok, he lost to Hyperion but that’s not really any surprise given how the man is a giant pile of muscles given sentience. You on the other hand are….what? You’re a guy in a suit that almost certainly restricts your mobility and your vision; I imagine the helmet weighs you down as well. Nelly almost beat AJ and Hyperion and they were at full power. Do you really think that you can overcome my bro now that he’s not moping around anymore? Ha. You’ve got as much chance of that as Bongo does of being the real Lazor-Tron. Which is no chance at all.
*He puts up his middle finger (along with his index, he’s counting)*
Randy: Secondly, for being a future-person or whatever, your records suck. My brother had to wait 4 hours because you didn’t already know where he’d be- but that’s fine, ok, history isn’t super specific all the time. But what you absolutely didn’t even realize was that Nelly has been wrestling for years and has also won titles. And aside from the stupid gibberish you were blathering about this week, Nelly was already wrestling long after you showed up on the scene. Maybe all that time-transportation has fried your brain or something; does that happen? I dunno. Either way, Nelly’s got a lot more in-ring experience than you and he knows how to use it.
*Randy continues counting with his fingers.*
Randy: Third, you wanna know what Nelly’s first title was? He was Junior Heavyweight Champion. A title held by Venom, who’s in the X*Crown match this month. And how did my boy win that? He won a tournament where he had to face every single other competitor. And who did he beat to win in the finals? None other than the current X*Crown champion…s manger Slain. So you don’t need to worry about accidentally killing my brother, you need to worry about getting embarrassed so bad that you have to shut down your stupid dojo or whatever that place was in your promo. It was stupid. You’re stupid.
*Up to 4 now.*
Randy: Fourth, you’re stupid. You’re stupid and not funny or even remotely entertaining. You’re a joke of jokes. Nelly might respect you and the stupid crap you and your team have done but I don’t. Except that midget of yours, he seems cool.
*Randy picks up a bottle from off the ground and drinks from it.*
Randy: My brother hasn’t lost a tournament yet and I don’t think he plans to. Come Sunday you’re gonna get your “epic” match, but it’ll come with a nice side of humiliation care of a superior worker doing what he does best. And you? Well you’ll be like everyone else who goes up against Nelly….
*Randy quickly chugs his beer as it flows down the sides of his mouth. He then flips the bottle over his shoulder as the camera starts to pan out.*
Randy: …You’ll be just another bottle on the ground.
*The camera continues panning out and up while Randy holds his arms out (because heck yeah the XHF Network can afford a crane shot) and we see that the building’s roof is filled with scattered bottles of alcohol. Randy smiles at the camera and nods as we fade out.*
Randy: Nell…what’s going on?
*Nelly pauses the game and turns around.*
Nelly: I’m training!
Randy: No, you’re playing a video game. Which I’m pretty sure was my idea and ended in tears.
Nelly: Oh...yeah. Sorry about that. There were a lot of emotions going around that time. But now that things are squared away with Shogun-Tron-
Randy: Also my idea.
Nelly: -Yeah, well, now that things are squared away I can focus on doing what we’ve set out to do, make this a classic match of two iron wills forged together in the heat of battle!
*Randy must have woken up recently, he seems groggy. He blinks.*
Randy: O…k. So why are you playing video games?
*Nelly stands up and approaches his brother (circumnavigating the couch as he does so).*
Nelly: Not just any games, man, I’m playing the greatest FPS game ever for the N64!
*Randy is still a little slow today. He calmly bends down and picks up a bottle of booze that was previously blocked from our sight by the couch. He takes sip for good luck and walks over to the kitchen nook to start mixing a drink. As he does his mind starts to wake up.*
Randy: Ok, none of that made any sense. How is Fpsing supposed to help you beat Shogun-Tron when all Space Invaders did was make you cry?
*Nelly follows his brother.*
Nelly: F-P-S-ing, first-person-shooting. Also, how do you not recognize any of this?
Randy: I’m older than you.
Nelly: Yeah, by a couple years and this stuff is all within our generation. Either way, Space Invaders wasn’t the problem- but I wasn’t feeling it after the….
Randy: Crying.
Nelly: Yeah…that. But I figured the best way to train was to get into Shogun-Tron’s head. He lives his whole life as a gun- or with a gun on his arm any way. I wanted to find out how that felt. So I dusted off Goldeneye, the classic James Bond shooter- and I’m playing in first-person mode.
*Randy has finished making his concoction and takes a sip. He nods.*
Randy: Ok, good. How are you doing?
Nelly: I’ve passed the Dam, several times. I’m actually getting pretty good at the Dam.
Randy: Good, is that like the mid-boss or something?
Nelly: It’s the first level.
*Pause.*
Randy: You’re not good at games are you?
*Pause*
Nelly: …No, no I’m not. Which reminds me, I need you to go out and get me a Game Shark.
Randy: I’m pretty sure that’s illegal.
Nelly: Har har, it’s a special cartridge that helps me to unlock cheat codes so I can get past the first level.
Randy: Oh. And you want it for the Not-Atari 64?
Nelly: Yeah, the Nintendo 64.
Randy: Ok, deal. But when I’m gone I want you to cut a promo.
Nelly: Fine fine, whatever.
*Nelly goes back to his game as Randy takes a few triumphant glugs of his wake-up drink. He then yells into the hallway.*
Randy: Happy! We’re going for a walk! WITH CLOTHES THIS TIME!
*We then fade out.*
SEVERAL HOURS LATER
*We fade back in as Nelly continues to play Goldeneye, Randy walks in to the apartment carrying an N64 Game Shark and a big smile….which quickly fades when he realizes…*
Randy: You’ve been playing that the whole time haven’t you?
*Nelly doesn’t even look up.*
Nelly: Oh wow, you got back quick.
Randy: No, I’ve been gone for hours- no game store still sells this stupid thing. I had to talk to hobos- which Happy really enjoyed….wait.
*Randy looks behind him.*
Randy: Where’s Happy? I shou- may-
*Finally he defeated shrugs.*
Randy: Whatever, I’m sure he’ll be fine. Anyway, I got your stupid cartridge. Did you get better at the game?
Nelly: Oh yeah, I just figured out how to get through those two locked doors and now I’m meeting 006.
*Randy watches for a moment.*
Nelly: WHAT!? HE’S A TRAITOR!?
Randy: Spoilers!
Nelly: The movie came out more than ten years ago!
Randy: Wow, this is a huge turn in the story, is he like the final boss?
Nelly: Maybe, but this is just the second level!
*Randy sighs.*
Randy: Here, you need this.
*He tosses the Game Shark at Nelly.*
Randy: I’ll cut the promo, you just…keep….training. Or whatever.
*Nelly doesn’t listen, Randy gets ready to go back out.*
Randy: *sigh* How am I the most responsible one here?
*Nelly actually was listening.*
Nelly: You set Michael Storm’s car on fire
Randy: I was drunk!
Nelly: You’re always drunk.
Randy: Yeah well I was more drunk than usual since Mr. Tequila II and I were partying!
Nelly: That cat is a bad influence on you.
Randy: Whatever man, I’m gonna cut your stupid promo.
Nelly: Whatevs bro.
*We fade.*
*Fade back in on a rooftop overlooking San Francisco (it’s probably the roof of Nelly’s apartment building). The wind blows as Randy Angel looks into the camera.*
Randy: Alright, now that everyone’s gotten their tears and hugs and other crap out of the way all that’s left is Sunday. Shogun-Tron, you’re a weird guy. That’s pretty par for the course though at this point. But I want to let you know some things.
*Randy holds up his index finger.*
Randy: One! My brother hasn’t been pinned yet since the XHF Network opened. Sure, ok, he lost to Hyperion but that’s not really any surprise given how the man is a giant pile of muscles given sentience. You on the other hand are….what? You’re a guy in a suit that almost certainly restricts your mobility and your vision; I imagine the helmet weighs you down as well. Nelly almost beat AJ and Hyperion and they were at full power. Do you really think that you can overcome my bro now that he’s not moping around anymore? Ha. You’ve got as much chance of that as Bongo does of being the real Lazor-Tron. Which is no chance at all.
*He puts up his middle finger (along with his index, he’s counting)*
Randy: Secondly, for being a future-person or whatever, your records suck. My brother had to wait 4 hours because you didn’t already know where he’d be- but that’s fine, ok, history isn’t super specific all the time. But what you absolutely didn’t even realize was that Nelly has been wrestling for years and has also won titles. And aside from the stupid gibberish you were blathering about this week, Nelly was already wrestling long after you showed up on the scene. Maybe all that time-transportation has fried your brain or something; does that happen? I dunno. Either way, Nelly’s got a lot more in-ring experience than you and he knows how to use it.
*Randy continues counting with his fingers.*
Randy: Third, you wanna know what Nelly’s first title was? He was Junior Heavyweight Champion. A title held by Venom, who’s in the X*Crown match this month. And how did my boy win that? He won a tournament where he had to face every single other competitor. And who did he beat to win in the finals? None other than the current X*Crown champion…s manger Slain. So you don’t need to worry about accidentally killing my brother, you need to worry about getting embarrassed so bad that you have to shut down your stupid dojo or whatever that place was in your promo. It was stupid. You’re stupid.
*Up to 4 now.*
Randy: Fourth, you’re stupid. You’re stupid and not funny or even remotely entertaining. You’re a joke of jokes. Nelly might respect you and the stupid crap you and your team have done but I don’t. Except that midget of yours, he seems cool.
*Randy picks up a bottle from off the ground and drinks from it.*
Randy: My brother hasn’t lost a tournament yet and I don’t think he plans to. Come Sunday you’re gonna get your “epic” match, but it’ll come with a nice side of humiliation care of a superior worker doing what he does best. And you? Well you’ll be like everyone else who goes up against Nelly….
*Randy quickly chugs his beer as it flows down the sides of his mouth. He then flips the bottle over his shoulder as the camera starts to pan out.*
Randy: …You’ll be just another bottle on the ground.
*The camera continues panning out and up while Randy holds his arms out (because heck yeah the XHF Network can afford a crane shot) and we see that the building’s roof is filled with scattered bottles of alcohol. Randy smiles at the camera and nods as we fade out.*
