[STEELE] Coming up with a promo (EoD vs Storm)
Oct 10, 2017 17:05:30 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Dave D-Flipz, and 2 more like this
Post by Steele on Oct 10, 2017 17:05:30 GMT -5
*Our scene opens once again at Jackson Steele's fake doctor's office. Right in front of the door, in fact. The cameraman pushes through the door and enters the office, where we see Jackson hard at work...*
Steele: So... describe your symptoms for me?
Chardonnay: I've got trouble with my tushie!
The Other One: I've got a boo-boo on my booby!
Steele: Well then ladies, there's only one thing for it. I'm going to have to take a closer look...
*What? You didn't think Jackson was treating actual patients did you? Oh god no, that wouldn't end well at all. Jackson stands up, Chardonnay and The Other One giggle as they start to disrobe.*
Steele: Now open wide and say... oh! Hello there.
Chardonnay: Oh! Hello there!
The Other One: Oh! Hello there!
*Jackson facepalms.*
Steele: I didn't mean - oh, forget it! Hold that thought girls, I'll be right back!
*He turns to the cameraman.*
Steele: You're late! You were supposed to arrive half an hour ago! I got tired of waiting so we decided to have a dry run without you. Well... it's not REALLY a "dry run" if you know what I mean!
Cameraman: Uh, actually I'm from the AWF... I'm not here to shoot porn...
Steele: Oh I know you're from the AWF- Curtis said you were coming round to shoot some promo material. I hope he doesn't mind, I took a few liberties with the creative direction...
Cameraman: I don't think Curtis wanted you to-
Steele: Nonsense! I saw his advertisements for the AWF! They're all over town and yours truly is front-and-center doing what he does BEST - er, SECOND-BEST! I mean, uh, JOINT-BEST!
Cameraman: I know, that's why I'm so late... you can barely go a block without getting held up by ANOTHER car wreck...
Steele: Then you'll have seen how old and outdated the footage is! Some of it was filmed in 2015!
Cameraman: Uh... Mr. Steele, I really don't think Curtis wants porn at all in those ads. Modern or, uh, 2015 Vintage. I think he just wants a straightforward piece to camera, maybe get you in the training ring with someone else to show off a few moves, that sort of-
*We hear the door opening (the actual door, not the one to Jacksons fake doctor's office) and a voice comes from off-camera.*
eXXXstacy: Jackson...
eXXXstacy walks into shot, holding a bag full of groceries. She sees the cameraman, she sees two girls in next-to-no clothing. She sees the set from Jackson's 2013 award-winning commentary on the state of the British NHS, "The Doctor is in the Arse" and puts two and two together.
eXXXstacy: Jackson I really hope you weren't planning on filming ANOTHER movie in here?
Steele: Why not? This set was only used once! It's been cleaned! They even got the stain out from where Sophie Dee sharted all over the wall when I pulled out! Well, mostly.
eXXXstacy: Jackson I wasn't talking about- wait, what? Eww!
*Jackson is rubbing his hand over a section of wall behind the desk to indicate that one area in particular.*
eXXXstacy: Stop touching it! We are burning this tonight! Anyway, I wasn't talking about the set Jackson, I was talking about our goddamn living room!
*The camera pans a little bit to reveal that the set is in fact erected (titter (hee hee)) in Jackson and eXXXstacy's living room, and it takes up most of the space.*
eXXXstacy: You haven't even closed the curtains! Remember what happened last time - you almost killed that old lady who lives across the street when she looked out her window!
Steele: Hey, if she didn't wanna see a flagpole she shouldn'a looked outside on the fourth of july!
eXXXstacy: Wha... that doesn't even make any sense! Jackson, I'm not having that shit-smeared set in my front room any longer! GET. RID!
*Jackson pouts as eXXXstacy walks over to the coffin and dumps her bag on top of it.*
eXXXstacy: And why the hell do we still have this thing!? You told me the funeral home was going to pick it up!
Steele: The Kelly Kemp Braido Funeral Home and Crem-
eXXXstacy: Stop plugging them! Why haven't they picked up their shit?
Steele: They're... they're gonna. Just... not today.
eXXXstacy: Well... when?
Steele: ...
eXXXstacy: Jackson? When.
Steele: Well... hopefully... not for another fifty to sixty years.
eXXXstacy: What? Why the hell-
*The penny drops.*
eXXXstacy: You bought it, didn't you?
*Jackson says nothing, just looks at the floor. She prods him again, and he nods.*
Steele: It was really comfortable... and they gave me a really good deal on a funeral plan in exchange for promoting their business.
eXXXstacy: I don't even... I want this thing hidden, Jackson. At least put a throw over it.
*She turns away and starts hunting through her bag, and pulls out a stack of mail. She sorts through it, setting some aside. Probably bills. One letter in particular catches her attention.*
eXXXstacy: Oh? This one's not even got an address. It just says; "To eXXXstacy" ... In crayon.
Steele: But it's stamped... USPS delivered it without an address?
Steele: I guess... I suppose I count as a minor celebrity around here and eXXXstacy's not exactly a common name...
*She tears open the envelope and pulls out a couple of pieces of paper stapled together. She looks puzzled.*
Steele: What is it?
eXXXstacy: It looks like... a car insurance claim. It's got Michael Storm's information on it...
*Jackson goes over and reads over her shoulder.*
Steele: Oh... so THAT'S his real last name? No wonder he uses "Storm" instead! Wait... why is he sending this to you? Are you his agent?
eXXXstacy: I have no idea... and no! I haven't sold insurance since I worked for Glenn... oh my God...
*She turns over the letter and sees something written on the back. A poem. A love poem. An incredibly creepy, stalker-ish love poem. Signed by none other than Michael Storm. Jackson's face turns deep red and he clenches his jaw.*
Steele: Son of a bitch...
*He snatches the letter off of eXXXstacy and looks it over, both sides.*
Steele: Well this changes everything. You know I would have expected something like this from Michael Clarke Duncan after what he did to you at Storm's place, but not Storm. And there's no doubt about it, this came from Storm himself.
*Steele throws the letter down and pulls off his doctor's smock. He grabs his jacket and starts to leave.*
eXXXstacy: Where are you going?
Steele: I'm going to settle this the traditional Bethesda way.
eXXXstacy: Jackson, no...
Steele: Yep. I'm going to shit on his doorstep.
eXXXstacy: Uh, that's not what I meant. But still... don't do that either.
Steele: Why not? All the boys are doing it. Mad Dog Smith did it to Cobalt Lancer, remember? Besides, I'm not gonna shit on his actual doorstep, that would be gross. I'm gonna shit in a paper bag, put that on his doorstep and set it on fire. Then I ring the doorbell and run away, and when they open their door they just see this thing burning away and what do they do? They instinctively try to stamp it out! Then they've got burning shit on their shoes, and I sit in the bushes congratulating myself on a job well done!
eXXXstacy: Uh... wow. You've done this before, haven't you?
Steele: Oh you better believe it. Why do you think we haven't seen Eliah Nathaniel in months?
eXXXstacy: Hmm... yeah- that was never explained, was it?
Steele: Nope! So anyway... you finished with that bag?
eXXXstacy: Jackson, you are not leaving a burning bag of shit on Michael Storm's doorstep. And that's final.
Steele: Awwww.... but Staaaaaceeeeyyyy... If I don't do that then how am I gonna send a message to Michael Stoooooorrrmmmmm?
Cameraman: {Ahem.}
*The cameraman clears his throat, he doesn't actually say "ahem" because he's not a blithering moron. Unlike MCD.*
Steele: Oh, Hello there! You just caught me discussing-
Cameraman: I was already here. You spoke to me, remember? About shooting a promo?
Steele: A promo? I don't have time to cut a promo, I'm trying to think of the best way to let Michael Storm know exactly what he's in for at End Of Days!
*eXXXstacy rubs her head. It's only 11am but it already feels like it's been a very, very long day.*
Chardonnay: Oh! I know! Why don't we get the cameraman to film you down a well, and send it to Storm on a videotape, and you can phone him and say "seven days!" and then on the seventh day you come out of his TV and kill him?
eXXXstacy: Because that's the plot to the movie "The Ring" and besides, the match is in five days. Not to mention, he can't kill Michael Storm.
Chardonnay: Oh my god... is he like a vampire or something?
eXXXstacy: No, Chardonnay, I mean... you know what, yes. Yes he is.
The Other One: Why don't we call the police?
Steele: No! God! What a stupid, blond-bimbo, air-headed thing to say! That's not how wrestlers settle things! We do this OUR way! There's no copper in the world that can rival a professional wrestler's pride and ego when it comes to righting wrongs!
eXXXstacy: Besides, we don't know for sure that this is definitely from Storm. This could be someone else entirely trying to get under your skin. This could all be a huge misunderstanding.
Steele: Pfft. I'd recognize that John Hancock anywhere, the amount of autographs me and Storm have done. It's him alright. And a misunderstanding? Perhaps. Perhaps I should watch his promo, see if there's anything that might shed some light on this whole affair... but I'm NOT gonna do that, because I'm NOT gonna give him the courtesy of listening to whatever he has to say!
eXXXstacy: Perhaps you should-
Steele: Nonsense! Storm is obviously in this together with MCD and they've got this sick fantasy where they get to have their wicked way with you WITHOUT being paid-up members of the Softcore/Hardcore Actor's Guild!
Chardonnay: Oh my god - I just realized! The union's name spells SHAG!
Steele: Well, of-
The Other One: Like the carpets!
Chardonnay: That's so weird!
Steele: No, it's-
The Other One: I know! None of us have carpets!
Chardonnay: Jackson, didn't you sell carpets?
Steele: Alright what the fuck are you two going on about? Just forget the union, and let's focus on Storm!
The Other One: Who's Storm?
Steele: Haven't you been listening? He's my opponent at End Of Days! But you've got the right idea - because once I'm through with him after what he and his manager have put eXXXstacy through then everyone's going to be asking "Who's Storm?" Even he's gonna be asking "Who am I?" when he looks in the mirror and all he sees is his face staring back at him, beaten and bruised, black and blue!
Chardonnay: That's racist!
Steele: What? No! He's black, yes, but "black and blue" is an actual phrase!
The Other One: Well what about Smurfs? That just insults TWO races!
eXXXstacy: Honey, Smurfs don't exist.
The Other One: They do too! We saw them in Vegas!
eXXXstacy: That was the Blue Man Group.
Chardonnay: Well they'd be offended!
eXXXstacy: Guys, they're not actually blue people...
Steele: CAN WE JUST GET BACK ON TRACK HERE!?!?
*The room falls silent at Jackson's outburst.*
Steele: I... honestly don't care if Smurfs exist or not right now, I just want to sort out how I'm going to send Storm a message. Now, the obvious way is to leave a burning bag of shit on his doorstep but SOMEBODY wants to be "Little Miss Maturity" and has nixed that plan. I can't send him a letter, because he already did that and it'll look like I'm just copying him.
Cameraman: {AHEM!}
*Steele gives the cameraman a glare.*
Steele: Seriously pal, you should get that cough seen to!
The Other One: Jackson! You're a doctor!
eXXXstacy: The Other One, honey, don't get him back on that again.
Steele: I need something... anything... just a sure-fire way to make sure my message gets across loud and clear that at End Of Days, I'm going to make Michael Storm regret ever thinking he could mess with eXXXstacy.... a carrier pigeon? No, too old-fashioned. Maybe I should send him a calendar... no, a DIARY - but rip out all the pages after October 15, just to hammer home that for Storm, that literally will be his End Of Days!
Chardonnay: Maybe send him a pearl necklace?
Steele: Oooh, interesting - a pearl necklace to signify the move I'll use to beat him! I like that, make a note of it. But it won't be enough on it's own. The Other One - if you wanted to make sure somebody knew that you intended to pummel them within an inch of their lives, to leave them in a pool of their own blood in the middle of the ring in order to convey your absolute anger and disgust at their actions... how might you go about it?
The Other One: Uhhhhhh... I'd... poo in a bag and burn it on their doorstep?
*Jackson jumps up and points at The Other One while addressing eXXXstacy.*
Steele: THANK YOU! You see that Stacey? But, nooooooo! We have to be BORING! I can't send a bag of shit to Storm to represent what I think of him! I can't set it on fire to signify what's going to happen to his world come the fifteenth! I can't ring the doorbell and run away to signify... uh... what he should do, instead of coming to our match... where was I again?
eXXXstacy: Jackson... please. Just- look. Over there.
Steele: It's a dude with a camera. What of it?
*She makes a fist and closes her eyes, looking like she's REALLY willing him to think harder than he's ever though before.*
eXXXstacy: Come on Jackson. Think about this. Camera. You. Talk. To camera.
Steele: Hmmm. Interesting. That certainly is a novel concept.
eXXXstacy: For god's sake Jackson! You literally do this every day! You've woken me up at night doing PTCs in your sleep! You're GOOD at talking to a camera! You never fucking stopped when we were doing movies!
Steele: Well... it's a legitimate artistic style in movie making...
eXXXstacy: When we were filming "Space Invaders From Uranus" I didn't think artistic merit was top of your priority list! PLEASE! Just look at the camera and tell it how you're going to be the man in your match, that you're the hungry young dog coming along to stake a claim on the junkyard! That you're the AWF Champion for a reason and that reason is that you're strong, you're fast, you're tenacious and never give up! That you've got the stamina to outlast every other man on that roster! That your stamina is going to see you through to the finals and beyond as the End Of Days Champion for 2017! That you've already beaten one legend in Curtis Kanyon and you don't plan on stopping any time soon and Michael Storm is just the next name on a long list of legends you plan on beating - not just in this tournament, but across your career! Because YOU'RE Jackson Steele, and Jackson Steele ALWAYS comes first!
*Jackson looks down at the ground, and then back up at eXXXstacy. He nods.*
Steele: Alright. Yeah. Alright. I'll do it. I'll do this! I'll knock it out of the fucking park!
*She smiles.*
eXXXstacy: That's the spirit! Go get 'em tiger!
*Jackson turns to the camera and prepares.*
Steele: {Ahem!}
*A red light in the bottom corner of the screen blinks, then the screen goes black as the camera battery dies.*
Steele: So... describe your symptoms for me?
Chardonnay: I've got trouble with my tushie!
The Other One: I've got a boo-boo on my booby!
Steele: Well then ladies, there's only one thing for it. I'm going to have to take a closer look...
*What? You didn't think Jackson was treating actual patients did you? Oh god no, that wouldn't end well at all. Jackson stands up, Chardonnay and The Other One giggle as they start to disrobe.*
Steele: Now open wide and say... oh! Hello there.
Chardonnay: Oh! Hello there!
The Other One: Oh! Hello there!
*Jackson facepalms.*
Steele: I didn't mean - oh, forget it! Hold that thought girls, I'll be right back!
*He turns to the cameraman.*
Steele: You're late! You were supposed to arrive half an hour ago! I got tired of waiting so we decided to have a dry run without you. Well... it's not REALLY a "dry run" if you know what I mean!
Cameraman: Uh, actually I'm from the AWF... I'm not here to shoot porn...
Steele: Oh I know you're from the AWF- Curtis said you were coming round to shoot some promo material. I hope he doesn't mind, I took a few liberties with the creative direction...
Cameraman: I don't think Curtis wanted you to-
Steele: Nonsense! I saw his advertisements for the AWF! They're all over town and yours truly is front-and-center doing what he does BEST - er, SECOND-BEST! I mean, uh, JOINT-BEST!
Cameraman: I know, that's why I'm so late... you can barely go a block without getting held up by ANOTHER car wreck...
Steele: Then you'll have seen how old and outdated the footage is! Some of it was filmed in 2015!
Cameraman: Uh... Mr. Steele, I really don't think Curtis wants porn at all in those ads. Modern or, uh, 2015 Vintage. I think he just wants a straightforward piece to camera, maybe get you in the training ring with someone else to show off a few moves, that sort of-
*We hear the door opening (the actual door, not the one to Jacksons fake doctor's office) and a voice comes from off-camera.*
eXXXstacy: Jackson...
eXXXstacy walks into shot, holding a bag full of groceries. She sees the cameraman, she sees two girls in next-to-no clothing. She sees the set from Jackson's 2013 award-winning commentary on the state of the British NHS, "The Doctor is in the Arse" and puts two and two together.
eXXXstacy: Jackson I really hope you weren't planning on filming ANOTHER movie in here?
Steele: Why not? This set was only used once! It's been cleaned! They even got the stain out from where Sophie Dee sharted all over the wall when I pulled out! Well, mostly.
eXXXstacy: Jackson I wasn't talking about- wait, what? Eww!
*Jackson is rubbing his hand over a section of wall behind the desk to indicate that one area in particular.*
eXXXstacy: Stop touching it! We are burning this tonight! Anyway, I wasn't talking about the set Jackson, I was talking about our goddamn living room!
*The camera pans a little bit to reveal that the set is in fact erected (titter (hee hee)) in Jackson and eXXXstacy's living room, and it takes up most of the space.*
eXXXstacy: You haven't even closed the curtains! Remember what happened last time - you almost killed that old lady who lives across the street when she looked out her window!
Steele: Hey, if she didn't wanna see a flagpole she shouldn'a looked outside on the fourth of july!
eXXXstacy: Wha... that doesn't even make any sense! Jackson, I'm not having that shit-smeared set in my front room any longer! GET. RID!
*Jackson pouts as eXXXstacy walks over to the coffin and dumps her bag on top of it.*
eXXXstacy: And why the hell do we still have this thing!? You told me the funeral home was going to pick it up!
Steele: The Kelly Kemp Braido Funeral Home and Crem-
eXXXstacy: Stop plugging them! Why haven't they picked up their shit?
Steele: They're... they're gonna. Just... not today.
eXXXstacy: Well... when?
Steele: ...
eXXXstacy: Jackson? When.
Steele: Well... hopefully... not for another fifty to sixty years.
eXXXstacy: What? Why the hell-
*The penny drops.*
eXXXstacy: You bought it, didn't you?
*Jackson says nothing, just looks at the floor. She prods him again, and he nods.*
Steele: It was really comfortable... and they gave me a really good deal on a funeral plan in exchange for promoting their business.
eXXXstacy: I don't even... I want this thing hidden, Jackson. At least put a throw over it.
*She turns away and starts hunting through her bag, and pulls out a stack of mail. She sorts through it, setting some aside. Probably bills. One letter in particular catches her attention.*
eXXXstacy: Oh? This one's not even got an address. It just says; "To eXXXstacy" ... In crayon.
Steele: But it's stamped... USPS delivered it without an address?
Steele: I guess... I suppose I count as a minor celebrity around here and eXXXstacy's not exactly a common name...
*She tears open the envelope and pulls out a couple of pieces of paper stapled together. She looks puzzled.*
Steele: What is it?
eXXXstacy: It looks like... a car insurance claim. It's got Michael Storm's information on it...
*Jackson goes over and reads over her shoulder.*
Steele: Oh... so THAT'S his real last name? No wonder he uses "Storm" instead! Wait... why is he sending this to you? Are you his agent?
eXXXstacy: I have no idea... and no! I haven't sold insurance since I worked for Glenn... oh my God...
*She turns over the letter and sees something written on the back. A poem. A love poem. An incredibly creepy, stalker-ish love poem. Signed by none other than Michael Storm. Jackson's face turns deep red and he clenches his jaw.*
Steele: Son of a bitch...
*He snatches the letter off of eXXXstacy and looks it over, both sides.*
Steele: Well this changes everything. You know I would have expected something like this from Michael Clarke Duncan after what he did to you at Storm's place, but not Storm. And there's no doubt about it, this came from Storm himself.
*Steele throws the letter down and pulls off his doctor's smock. He grabs his jacket and starts to leave.*
eXXXstacy: Where are you going?
Steele: I'm going to settle this the traditional Bethesda way.
eXXXstacy: Jackson, no...
Steele: Yep. I'm going to shit on his doorstep.
eXXXstacy: Uh, that's not what I meant. But still... don't do that either.
Steele: Why not? All the boys are doing it. Mad Dog Smith did it to Cobalt Lancer, remember? Besides, I'm not gonna shit on his actual doorstep, that would be gross. I'm gonna shit in a paper bag, put that on his doorstep and set it on fire. Then I ring the doorbell and run away, and when they open their door they just see this thing burning away and what do they do? They instinctively try to stamp it out! Then they've got burning shit on their shoes, and I sit in the bushes congratulating myself on a job well done!
eXXXstacy: Uh... wow. You've done this before, haven't you?
Steele: Oh you better believe it. Why do you think we haven't seen Eliah Nathaniel in months?
eXXXstacy: Hmm... yeah- that was never explained, was it?
Steele: Nope! So anyway... you finished with that bag?
eXXXstacy: Jackson, you are not leaving a burning bag of shit on Michael Storm's doorstep. And that's final.
Steele: Awwww.... but Staaaaaceeeeyyyy... If I don't do that then how am I gonna send a message to Michael Stoooooorrrmmmmm?
Cameraman: {Ahem.}
*The cameraman clears his throat, he doesn't actually say "ahem" because he's not a blithering moron. Unlike MCD.*
Steele: Oh, Hello there! You just caught me discussing-
Cameraman: I was already here. You spoke to me, remember? About shooting a promo?
Steele: A promo? I don't have time to cut a promo, I'm trying to think of the best way to let Michael Storm know exactly what he's in for at End Of Days!
*eXXXstacy rubs her head. It's only 11am but it already feels like it's been a very, very long day.*
Chardonnay: Oh! I know! Why don't we get the cameraman to film you down a well, and send it to Storm on a videotape, and you can phone him and say "seven days!" and then on the seventh day you come out of his TV and kill him?
eXXXstacy: Because that's the plot to the movie "The Ring" and besides, the match is in five days. Not to mention, he can't kill Michael Storm.
Chardonnay: Oh my god... is he like a vampire or something?
eXXXstacy: No, Chardonnay, I mean... you know what, yes. Yes he is.
The Other One: Why don't we call the police?
Steele: No! God! What a stupid, blond-bimbo, air-headed thing to say! That's not how wrestlers settle things! We do this OUR way! There's no copper in the world that can rival a professional wrestler's pride and ego when it comes to righting wrongs!
eXXXstacy: Besides, we don't know for sure that this is definitely from Storm. This could be someone else entirely trying to get under your skin. This could all be a huge misunderstanding.
Steele: Pfft. I'd recognize that John Hancock anywhere, the amount of autographs me and Storm have done. It's him alright. And a misunderstanding? Perhaps. Perhaps I should watch his promo, see if there's anything that might shed some light on this whole affair... but I'm NOT gonna do that, because I'm NOT gonna give him the courtesy of listening to whatever he has to say!
eXXXstacy: Perhaps you should-
Steele: Nonsense! Storm is obviously in this together with MCD and they've got this sick fantasy where they get to have their wicked way with you WITHOUT being paid-up members of the Softcore/Hardcore Actor's Guild!
Chardonnay: Oh my god - I just realized! The union's name spells SHAG!
Steele: Well, of-
The Other One: Like the carpets!
Chardonnay: That's so weird!
Steele: No, it's-
The Other One: I know! None of us have carpets!
Chardonnay: Jackson, didn't you sell carpets?
Steele: Alright what the fuck are you two going on about? Just forget the union, and let's focus on Storm!
The Other One: Who's Storm?
Steele: Haven't you been listening? He's my opponent at End Of Days! But you've got the right idea - because once I'm through with him after what he and his manager have put eXXXstacy through then everyone's going to be asking "Who's Storm?" Even he's gonna be asking "Who am I?" when he looks in the mirror and all he sees is his face staring back at him, beaten and bruised, black and blue!
Chardonnay: That's racist!
Steele: What? No! He's black, yes, but "black and blue" is an actual phrase!
The Other One: Well what about Smurfs? That just insults TWO races!
eXXXstacy: Honey, Smurfs don't exist.
The Other One: They do too! We saw them in Vegas!
eXXXstacy: That was the Blue Man Group.
Chardonnay: Well they'd be offended!
eXXXstacy: Guys, they're not actually blue people...
Steele: CAN WE JUST GET BACK ON TRACK HERE!?!?
*The room falls silent at Jackson's outburst.*
Steele: I... honestly don't care if Smurfs exist or not right now, I just want to sort out how I'm going to send Storm a message. Now, the obvious way is to leave a burning bag of shit on his doorstep but SOMEBODY wants to be "Little Miss Maturity" and has nixed that plan. I can't send him a letter, because he already did that and it'll look like I'm just copying him.
Cameraman: {AHEM!}
*Steele gives the cameraman a glare.*
Steele: Seriously pal, you should get that cough seen to!
The Other One: Jackson! You're a doctor!
eXXXstacy: The Other One, honey, don't get him back on that again.
Steele: I need something... anything... just a sure-fire way to make sure my message gets across loud and clear that at End Of Days, I'm going to make Michael Storm regret ever thinking he could mess with eXXXstacy.... a carrier pigeon? No, too old-fashioned. Maybe I should send him a calendar... no, a DIARY - but rip out all the pages after October 15, just to hammer home that for Storm, that literally will be his End Of Days!
Chardonnay: Maybe send him a pearl necklace?
Steele: Oooh, interesting - a pearl necklace to signify the move I'll use to beat him! I like that, make a note of it. But it won't be enough on it's own. The Other One - if you wanted to make sure somebody knew that you intended to pummel them within an inch of their lives, to leave them in a pool of their own blood in the middle of the ring in order to convey your absolute anger and disgust at their actions... how might you go about it?
The Other One: Uhhhhhh... I'd... poo in a bag and burn it on their doorstep?
*Jackson jumps up and points at The Other One while addressing eXXXstacy.*
Steele: THANK YOU! You see that Stacey? But, nooooooo! We have to be BORING! I can't send a bag of shit to Storm to represent what I think of him! I can't set it on fire to signify what's going to happen to his world come the fifteenth! I can't ring the doorbell and run away to signify... uh... what he should do, instead of coming to our match... where was I again?
eXXXstacy: Jackson... please. Just- look. Over there.
Steele: It's a dude with a camera. What of it?
*She makes a fist and closes her eyes, looking like she's REALLY willing him to think harder than he's ever though before.*
eXXXstacy: Come on Jackson. Think about this. Camera. You. Talk. To camera.
Steele: Hmmm. Interesting. That certainly is a novel concept.
eXXXstacy: For god's sake Jackson! You literally do this every day! You've woken me up at night doing PTCs in your sleep! You're GOOD at talking to a camera! You never fucking stopped when we were doing movies!
Steele: Well... it's a legitimate artistic style in movie making...
eXXXstacy: When we were filming "Space Invaders From Uranus" I didn't think artistic merit was top of your priority list! PLEASE! Just look at the camera and tell it how you're going to be the man in your match, that you're the hungry young dog coming along to stake a claim on the junkyard! That you're the AWF Champion for a reason and that reason is that you're strong, you're fast, you're tenacious and never give up! That you've got the stamina to outlast every other man on that roster! That your stamina is going to see you through to the finals and beyond as the End Of Days Champion for 2017! That you've already beaten one legend in Curtis Kanyon and you don't plan on stopping any time soon and Michael Storm is just the next name on a long list of legends you plan on beating - not just in this tournament, but across your career! Because YOU'RE Jackson Steele, and Jackson Steele ALWAYS comes first!
*Jackson looks down at the ground, and then back up at eXXXstacy. He nods.*
Steele: Alright. Yeah. Alright. I'll do it. I'll do this! I'll knock it out of the fucking park!
*She smiles.*
eXXXstacy: That's the spirit! Go get 'em tiger!
*Jackson turns to the camera and prepares.*
Steele: {Ahem!}
*A red light in the bottom corner of the screen blinks, then the screen goes black as the camera battery dies.*