Post by Venom 🕷 on Oct 16, 2017 12:10:23 GMT -5
Welcome to the XHF Network
The following message was intercepted from the FUTURE and descrambled for the XHF viewers.
The screen scrambles and cannot quite clear up.
“Calling all Trons.”
The screen clears up in the middle enough to show the face of Saber-Tron.
“Calling all Trons… This message is being sent from the fabric of TIME. I was travelling back to the PAST at the behest of my friend and partner Shogun-Tron, but something HORRIFIC happened during my journey and now, I am stuck in TIME…IME…IME…”
Saber’s voice trails off and the screen scrambles again, before clearing up.
“I was on my way back to warn Shogun that he is in TERRIBLE DANGER fighting the fight that he is fighting and that he needs help if he is going to stop the threat that that is threatening the threat of the world. I needed to tell Shogun that he has not foreseen just how INCREDIBILY DISPICIBLE Yee Olde Borg is and the damage the ancient being can cause to the space-time continuum. He doesn’t know that although she may look like what the humans of that time call pork, she is just hiding in plain sight as a non-threatening OTHER WHITE MEAT, but really she has possessed the body of her handler and is using his INCREDIBLILY MINIMAL fame to increase her hold over that time period.”
Saber cuts off and the screen fully scrambles. It takes a while, but the screen come back and catches Saber mid-sentence.
“…doesn’t know she is building enough fame that she will fulfil her destiny of taking over the modern TIME that she is working in right now. Shogun doesn’t know any of this, but he needs to know, and he needs help, but I am TRAPPED. I am stuck here possibly FOREVER. To stop Yee Olde Borg I am sending this message out into the MULTIVERSE of TIME and SPACE hoping it will reach someone, anyone who can help. In case this message does not reach Shogun or someone who can help him to stop Yee Olde Borg from achieving the needed level of fame, I took the necessary precautions to get someone we can trust to help us, but he only agreed to do it on his own terms. In order to stop Yee Olde Borg from reaching the needed level of fame to take over the time I have used my INCREDIBLE powers of PURSUASION to convince a hero of the PAST to return and take on the task of stopping Yee Olde Borg. He has won championships of the PAST and already has reached the TREMENDOUS fame that Yee Olde Borg seeks. His name is…is…is…”
The screen scrambles to black and when it comes back it is no longer Saber-Tron, but instead it is the face of Venom. He is sitting under a tree in the grass at a local park. He has a tooth pick in his hand and is digging something out of his teeth.
“Two weeks ago I made my victorious return to the ring. I fought in a ridiculous match, in this ridiculous excuse for a company that the once great Xtreme Hardcore Federation has become. I not only won the match by retrieving the pig this network calls a champion from atop a pole, but I did exactly what I said he would and I set that pole on fire first and roasted that pig, lightly roasted, but still. And I will tell you people, once I got my hands on that pig, I was able to rip off a section of fried pig skin and it was delicious, but I still have it stuck in my teeth.”
Venom stops and returns to picking his teeth with the toothpick. He digs and digs before pulling it out and looking at it.
“It’s been over a week and no matter how much I brush, pick, and mouth wash I just can’t get the pieces of Thobs thick skin out of my teeth. I’ve tasted her flesh, and I want more.”
He smiles and flicks the toothpick away.
“Since tasting Thobs flesh I had to go back to the little time and prove a point in the company I have adopted as my home within the Netwrok. It was time for me to hold down the peons of the company who think they are good enough to stand in the ring with me. So I hopped in the car with my partner. I showed up at the venue early to show my superiority over the rest of the roster and prepared for my match, and you know what happened? No one showed up. No one wanted any part of the greatest Champion in the history of Xtreme Hardcore Federation. So I didn’t wrestle, and now, who knows what is going to happen with GXW since I am the only thing keeping it alive.”
Venom stands up and begins to walk down the grassy hill towards the camera.
“So with that distraction out of the way I can return my focus to the ultimate goal of winning back the title I once held so dear, the X*Crown Championship. Before yesterday I had a 33.33% chance of winning the title, but now my chances of dropped to 25% when another former foe Curtis Kanyon joined the fight thanks to a loophole presented to him by the overgrown moron of an owner. It was my understanding that this match was supposed to represent one competitor from each company that wanted in the match, but now the joke of a company AWF gets two representatives in the match.”
Venom stops, not out of the shade of the tree and his face is glowing in the sun.
“The amount of competitors in the match doesn’t matter, though. The odds may not be in my favor, but I as the handler of Thob said, I am the one with all of the fame and prestige in this match. I am the one who has spent the most time on the top. I am the one with all of the glory, and I am ready to regain it. They have all had their success, but none of them can hold a candle to what I’ve done in and out of the XHF. With that, Slain was right, but just like he’s been so often in the past he was more off the mark than he was on.”
Venom softly shakes his head before continuing.
“You said I said I didn’t get enough credit, and that’s true, but you think it’s because I’m not people’s favorite? I could give two shits what the people think. I couldn’t give two shits what you think. All I need is the credit of the gold, and I miss it. I long for it. I have to have it to feel justified, and the gold I want is held by the pork you carry around. So go get yourself a new pig, because I roasted the last one and tasted its flesh. Get one that is bigger, put more armor on it. Learn new ways to interject yourself into the matches. Honestly Slain, I don’t care what you do, because I am on a mission and that title is my mission.”
Venom abruptly walks off camera and the screen scrambles, Saber’s head pops back up when it clears.
“His name Curtis Kanyon…no…he screened my calls. His name is VENOM.”
The screen scrambles again and goes to black.
The following message was intercepted from the FUTURE and descrambled for the XHF viewers.
The screen scrambles and cannot quite clear up.
“Calling all Trons.”
The screen clears up in the middle enough to show the face of Saber-Tron.
“Calling all Trons… This message is being sent from the fabric of TIME. I was travelling back to the PAST at the behest of my friend and partner Shogun-Tron, but something HORRIFIC happened during my journey and now, I am stuck in TIME…IME…IME…”
Saber’s voice trails off and the screen scrambles again, before clearing up.
“I was on my way back to warn Shogun that he is in TERRIBLE DANGER fighting the fight that he is fighting and that he needs help if he is going to stop the threat that that is threatening the threat of the world. I needed to tell Shogun that he has not foreseen just how INCREDIBILY DISPICIBLE Yee Olde Borg is and the damage the ancient being can cause to the space-time continuum. He doesn’t know that although she may look like what the humans of that time call pork, she is just hiding in plain sight as a non-threatening OTHER WHITE MEAT, but really she has possessed the body of her handler and is using his INCREDIBLILY MINIMAL fame to increase her hold over that time period.”
Saber cuts off and the screen fully scrambles. It takes a while, but the screen come back and catches Saber mid-sentence.
“…doesn’t know she is building enough fame that she will fulfil her destiny of taking over the modern TIME that she is working in right now. Shogun doesn’t know any of this, but he needs to know, and he needs help, but I am TRAPPED. I am stuck here possibly FOREVER. To stop Yee Olde Borg I am sending this message out into the MULTIVERSE of TIME and SPACE hoping it will reach someone, anyone who can help. In case this message does not reach Shogun or someone who can help him to stop Yee Olde Borg from achieving the needed level of fame, I took the necessary precautions to get someone we can trust to help us, but he only agreed to do it on his own terms. In order to stop Yee Olde Borg from reaching the needed level of fame to take over the time I have used my INCREDIBLE powers of PURSUASION to convince a hero of the PAST to return and take on the task of stopping Yee Olde Borg. He has won championships of the PAST and already has reached the TREMENDOUS fame that Yee Olde Borg seeks. His name is…is…is…”
The screen scrambles to black and when it comes back it is no longer Saber-Tron, but instead it is the face of Venom. He is sitting under a tree in the grass at a local park. He has a tooth pick in his hand and is digging something out of his teeth.
“Two weeks ago I made my victorious return to the ring. I fought in a ridiculous match, in this ridiculous excuse for a company that the once great Xtreme Hardcore Federation has become. I not only won the match by retrieving the pig this network calls a champion from atop a pole, but I did exactly what I said he would and I set that pole on fire first and roasted that pig, lightly roasted, but still. And I will tell you people, once I got my hands on that pig, I was able to rip off a section of fried pig skin and it was delicious, but I still have it stuck in my teeth.”
Venom stops and returns to picking his teeth with the toothpick. He digs and digs before pulling it out and looking at it.
“It’s been over a week and no matter how much I brush, pick, and mouth wash I just can’t get the pieces of Thobs thick skin out of my teeth. I’ve tasted her flesh, and I want more.”
He smiles and flicks the toothpick away.
“Since tasting Thobs flesh I had to go back to the little time and prove a point in the company I have adopted as my home within the Netwrok. It was time for me to hold down the peons of the company who think they are good enough to stand in the ring with me. So I hopped in the car with my partner. I showed up at the venue early to show my superiority over the rest of the roster and prepared for my match, and you know what happened? No one showed up. No one wanted any part of the greatest Champion in the history of Xtreme Hardcore Federation. So I didn’t wrestle, and now, who knows what is going to happen with GXW since I am the only thing keeping it alive.”
Venom stands up and begins to walk down the grassy hill towards the camera.
“So with that distraction out of the way I can return my focus to the ultimate goal of winning back the title I once held so dear, the X*Crown Championship. Before yesterday I had a 33.33% chance of winning the title, but now my chances of dropped to 25% when another former foe Curtis Kanyon joined the fight thanks to a loophole presented to him by the overgrown moron of an owner. It was my understanding that this match was supposed to represent one competitor from each company that wanted in the match, but now the joke of a company AWF gets two representatives in the match.”
Venom stops, not out of the shade of the tree and his face is glowing in the sun.
“The amount of competitors in the match doesn’t matter, though. The odds may not be in my favor, but I as the handler of Thob said, I am the one with all of the fame and prestige in this match. I am the one who has spent the most time on the top. I am the one with all of the glory, and I am ready to regain it. They have all had their success, but none of them can hold a candle to what I’ve done in and out of the XHF. With that, Slain was right, but just like he’s been so often in the past he was more off the mark than he was on.”
Venom softly shakes his head before continuing.
“You said I said I didn’t get enough credit, and that’s true, but you think it’s because I’m not people’s favorite? I could give two shits what the people think. I couldn’t give two shits what you think. All I need is the credit of the gold, and I miss it. I long for it. I have to have it to feel justified, and the gold I want is held by the pork you carry around. So go get yourself a new pig, because I roasted the last one and tasted its flesh. Get one that is bigger, put more armor on it. Learn new ways to interject yourself into the matches. Honestly Slain, I don’t care what you do, because I am on a mission and that title is my mission.”
Venom abruptly walks off camera and the screen scrambles, Saber’s head pops back up when it clears.
“His name Curtis Kanyon…no…he screened my calls. His name is VENOM.”
The screen scrambles again and goes to black.
: Shhhh. We have to be very quiet.
: Whoooop.
: They still have no idea we are here. They still think we are in…THE AFTER--
: Huh…uh…grumble grumble.
: Whoop whoop whooooop.
: Damnit Mini, did you leave the fridge open again!