Wrestling 101 (A Storm [EoD4] RP)

[ForeverKuroi]

Fade in. The setting is "Western Michigan Wrestling" in Paw Paw, Michigan - less than a half hour drive to Kalamazoo, Michigan, where the End of Days Tournament will hold their semi-finals match. Inside of the ring is a group of thirty young and bright individuals. Just not bright enough to avoid professional wrestling. Among them is a person who looked like he used to be somebody but isn't anybody any longer. He has a smile on his face as he paces among the smiling faces.

: "So you want to be real wrestlers, huh? You want to see if you have what it takes to step into that squared circle, tangle up with big bigger than you, more experienced with you and have half a mind to tell your colon what their shoe size is? Huh. Well if you do, you'll find out very soon. For those that don't know me, my name is Justin Clark, but you'll never address me as that. when I was in the wrestling biz, they called me Jungle Justin. I was actually in the minor leagues with likes of Death Traps and Gravedigger. They went big and I didn't, but I'm not bitter! You! Over there! Admit it, I'm not bitter! Right!? RIGHT!?"

...He says as he's in front of a little wimp who shouldn't be there.

: "...Right!"

Just like that, Jungle Justin sends his fist into the kid's stomach. It forces him to his knees.

: "Rule #1 - Don't speak unless I'm speaking to you!"

: "...But you were speaking to me!"

Jungle Justin responds by kneeing the kid in the face, causing him to fall to his back. His hands begin to cover his nose as his face grows a bright shade of red.

: "Don't talk back to me, you worthless maggot! Now clean up yourself - you're bleeding all over my beautiful gym!"

His gym is a dump.

: "Now for the rest of you maggots, you're in for a treat. We have a couple of people here from the nearby Ascension Wrestling Federation, and they're here to help you maggots learn to actually know a damn about wrestling. I present you with Michael Storm, Michael Clarke Duncan and Charles Akiyama. Out of them, only Michael Storm has any wrestling experience, so he'll be teaching you all wrestling moves and techniques in the ring. In the track outside, Michael Clarke Duncan will teach you strength and conditioning. And Akiyama? He'll teach you how to conduct yourself in front of a microphone so you don't come across like a total jackass! Now before we get going, these three geniuses introduce themselves."

Michael Storm steps up first.

: "For those who don't know, my name is Michael Storm. I've wrestled all over the world, and I've recently come back from retirement. It's great to be with you all and spreading my knowledge from one generation to the next. I actually have a match in Kalamazoo. I'll be in a tag match with Jason Justice against two people from this new place called FWA, which stands for Firestorm Wrestling Alliance."

The people begin to clap. Storm steps back and Charles Akiyama steps up.

Akiyama: "Hello, Paw Paw! My name is Charles Akiyama, and I'm the head backstage announcer for the AWF and host of Talking Drama with Akiyama! I'll get into what makes a good promo, what the people want and how to speak into the camera! This wrestling is a wonderful business, and I wouldn't trade it in for the wor-"

: "Okay, stop wasting time. We're on a strict time schedule and we have one more to introduce."

Akiyama: "But Michael Storm took much lon-"

: "HOLY SHIT. What's up, y'all!? My name is Michael Clarke Duncan, and I'll get you the fuck in shape! You think Storm here goes to be champ all on his own? No! Shit, I had to get his ass into shape!"

Storm steps up and mumbles into Duncan's ear.

: "To be fair, I haven't held gold in well over ten years..."

: "Alright, now I'll separate you all. Then it's time to work! And work! And then work some more! You'll give us your sweat and your tears! ...and then something else. I know there was a saying to that. It was something, sweat and tears."

Random Kid: Virginity?

: "What? Oh God no! Steve, that's disgusting! Oh God, you make me want to vomit just by looking at you now that you've said that."

The random kid now identified as Steve looks really sad by saying that. lol, he sucks. Ten minutes later, we're in the weight room as Charles Akiyama is critiquing someone else on their promos.

A Different Random Kid: "I fucking hate you, Jew. I hate you and your conniving Jewish ways. I hate how you cause 9/11 and then expect us to pay a lot of money to you. Then you open up your own stupid e-fed and have me lose my belt to you, but you don't even tell me when the deadline is. I hate you so much and unless you become a cat that I can go to charity events for, I will always hate you."

The crowd begins to clap.

Akiyama: "OK, not bad... What was your name again? Harry?"

A Different Random Kid: "Dan."

Akiyama: "Sorry. I get those names mixed up. OK, so Dan, your promo was absolutely passion-filled, which is good! Passion-filled promos will always capture the attention of the attention of the audience and will further the development of your match, but there are a few things I'd work on. First off, no swears. Wrestling is a family-friendly sport and we don't want swearing with that. Secondly, there's a lot of bigotry here in regards to the Jewish faith. Especially now with the Antifa movement and with what happened in Charlottesville, it's even more sensitive. Lastly, what is an e-fed?"

A Different Random Kid: "..."

Meanwhile, outside, Michael Clarke Duncan stepped in front of the students as they were circling around the yard.

: "OK. I'm going to have you stop running. We're going to run through some wrestling drills now!"

: "But Jungle Justin said we're just doing strength training and conditioning!"

: "Now I know why Jungle Justin... or well, anyone likes you. Shit, you suck."

Mongo frowns. Yeah, I'm going to call him Mongo. Just for the ease of communication. Mongo, if you read this, that's you. You suck.

: "We're going to do some wrestling onto the grass. Now how many of you can do a German Suplex?"

All of the students can raise their hands.

: "Shit. Not bad. Not bad. OK. Well how many of your mothafuckas can do it right?"

All of them hesitantly keep their hands up but look around at one another.

: "Alright. Well I'm going to need a volunteer. Who wants to volunteer?"

All of them keep their hands up, wanting to impress the trainer. Michael Clarke Duncan looks around, trying to choose someone. He settles on one.

: "Alright. You. I choose you."

One of them steps forward. She's a young lady. Probably in her younger 20s (AKA half of Michael Clarke Duncan's age.)

: "OK. Now try to put me in the position for the German Suplex."

The girl goes through the moves correctly. The German Suplex position is fully attached except that she hasn't gone through the actual throw, per MCD's instructions.

: "Like this?"

: "That's kind of close. I'll give you that, gurl. But you're missing some key elements that will really make the crowd get after you. Here, I'll show you."

Duncan takes the girl's hands off of him. He quickly spins around to her backside before she has a chance to react then he grabs his hands on her hips. He quickly thrusts against her.

: "First, what you got to do is RAM your waist to their waist. That lets the fans know you really mad at your opponent."

The girl sheepishly laughs to herself, subtly trying to laugh off her uncomfortability.

: "Okay, I'll try to remember that for the future."

: "Remember. It's waist to waist!"

As he says that, MCD rams himself up against her, waist to waist again.

: "Yeah. I got it."

: "It's waist to what, now?"

The girl's stomach turns as she now knows what he's doing is intentional and she knows what's coming.

: "I know. I'll do it right from now o-"

: "IT'S WAIST TO WHAT?"

The girl slowly exhales with a sigh.

: "It's... waist to waist."

As soon as she says that, Michael Clarke Duncan rams himself against her backside one last time, although this time was a lot more forceful.

: "It's waist to waist! So yeah, after you do that, you throw them up in the air or something like that. Any questions?"

One of the students raises his hand.

Another Completely Random Kid: "Can you show me? I don't think I'm doing it right."

: "Shut up, Rob. You be doing it just fine."

Another Completely Random Kid: ""

Outside, by the sidewalk, Randy Angel is outside on the sidewalk. He's hanging out with his best bud, Tequila Kitty II. As he's walking by, he hears sounds of people yelling (because they're practicing their promos) or hearing slamming (because of the sounds caused from hitting the ring.) Randy stops, looking a bit concerned.

Randy: "Oh my. I hope everyone is OK."

: "Mrow"

Randy: "Huh?"

Randy looks at the sign that says "Western Michigan Wrestling."

Randy: "Oh, that's right! It's a wrestling school! They're just practicing. How silly of me. I should probably leave them to it."

: "Mrow"

Randy: "What is it now? You know I can't understand you when you meow in that accent!"

: "Mrow-Mrow!"

Tequila Kitty II paws upward. Randy Angel looks up and finds the clouds are darkening.

Randy: "Oh, it does look like it's going to rain. I probably should warn the guys inside so they can prepare."

Randy Angel produces a can of yellow spray paint seemingly out of nowhere. He walks to the side of the building and spray paints, "STORM" along the entire length of the wall.

Randy: "Oh Tequila Kitty, you're such a noble feline."

Randy stumbles off in search of more alcohol. Meanwhile, inside of the ring, one of the student delivers an arm drag to Michael Storm, who hits the mat perfectly. Storm gets up and shakes the person's hand.

Storm: "Now that's an arm drag, and that's how you deliver it. Remember, sell the pain. Remember your training and keep your head up. Now before we move on to more advanced stuff, I'll take some questions if there are any."

A hand goes up.

Random Douche Kid: "How do I Price Crash someone?"

: "DudefromCLE, we're not going to go over that today. We're doing wrestling today."

Random Douche Kid: "I'd Price Crash you if I could!"

: "Yeah, well you can't."

Someone Less Douchey: "I saw your match against Jackson Steele the other day. Are you mad at him for cheating and getting his girlfriend involved?"

: "Well I tell you, it can be a bit annoying. I really wanted to win. I really wanted to win the End of Days Tournament, and I knew Jackson Steele wasn't going to be easy. I feel better knowing that I've had him in a three-count. But the referee wasn't there to count it. What this says was that on that day, I proved to be the better wrestler. It can change on another day. Next time, I could win or he could beat me clean. He is definitely skilled, so I can't discount that possibility. So while I consider myself the better wrestler that day, he proved to be the better tactician in achieving his goals. His methods are dirty. His methods are unconventional and I can definitely see someone ourselves being angry at him. It also doesn't help that my trainer, Michael Clarke Duncan, was really creepy and was making a lot of passes on his girlfriend, so I kind of see those two as deserving since we have caused them a lot of suffering. We'll have our rematch, and I'm sure we'll have an End of Days Tournament next year. And when that comes, make no mistake, I'll win it."

Another Person Less Douchey: "Well now you're going up against two other people from FWA. I think their names are Steve Dackle and Dylan Black. Are you worried at all?"

: "See, this is a lot that you folks need to understand. The worst thing that could possibly happen is that I lose. I lost against Jackson Steele, and I'm still here. I'm not dead. I'm not homeless. The only thing that you have to wound in losing is your ego, and the way to combat that is to not let it inflate in the first place. I've done a little bit of research against the two, and found that they're both young. They're both younger than thirty, which means I'm likely more experienced. They've yet to actually work together, which indicates that they aren't likely to know how to work with one another. I mean, then again, I've never worked with Jason Justice before, but I know how to work with people I've just met, and Justice looks like he has a good head on his shoulders. So I'm confident. I'm confident that Jason Justice and I will win."

Someone Less Douchey: "You're really going to win, huh?"

: "I can't say it with 100% certainty. One thing to remember is that I'm a businessman. There aren't any guarantees in business. We don't know for certain how market trends will work or what the next big thing is, but I can tell you how things likely will work. I can be as confident as anything in the work, but I can be surprised. If someone came up to me and told me they wanted to market a pet rock, I would tell them to get the hell away from me. The man who came up with the idea, Gary Dahl, earned fifteen-million dollars in 1975 as a profit. In 2017 money, that's over seventy-million dollars in today's money. So yeah, I suppose they could win. Anyone can win in the right circumstance. Is it likely? No. Would I bet my bottom dollar on it? No, but then again, I've already invested a million dollars of my wealth to the winner of Shogun-Tron, Hyperion, Scorpion or Jackson Steele, so that shows me how strong my prediction game is. Anyway, we're getting a bit off track. The next move I want to show you is a submission move. One of my favorites, it's called the-"

: "What the hell is going on here?!"

: "Well, I was going to teach them the-"

: "Teach them the what?! How to sexually molest my students?"

: "What the hell are you talking about? How am I sexually assaulting your students by teaching arm drags and hip tosses?"

: "Don't play stupid, you sick freak! One of my students came up to me and told me that your friend was shoving his crotch up against her buttocks. Rule #2 is very clear, maggot - if anyone here is going to molest my students, it's going to be me!"

Storm audibly sighs, the most recent molestation comment going right over his head.

: "I'm going to get Duncan off of this and keep him in the car. I agree that any sort of sexual harassment isn't to be tolerated."

Storm and Jungle Justin go outside. Michael Storm finds Michael Clarke Duncan doing the Gangnam Style Dance... for some reason.

: "Duncan! Get your ass over here! We need to ta-"

: "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!?"

Storm turns around and finds Jungle Justin going livid over the vandalization of his wall.

: "You're now spray painting my wall to try to destroy my business, huh!? You're up to no good, Storm! I know I should have asked for Curtis Kanyon to come here! I would have gladly bought his BANG Fish Spray just so I wouldn't have to deal with this muck! And what's this!?

Jungle Justin looks closer below where it says "STORM." It says, "LOVE RANDY"

: "Who's Randy, huh!? Your gay lover!?"

: "No. I know who that is, but I'm not-"

: "It says it right here, you scrub! "STORM LOVE RANDY" You're a bundle of sticks! Now get out of here! You and your sexual assaulting friend and that yellow guy! ALL OF YOU OUT!

Storm grits his teeth and Randy Angel doesn't understand the importance of commas.

: "Never have I ever been so humiliated..."

Fade out.