XHF In Review [February 26, 2004]

[Dave D-Flipz]

*The lights go black and blue and red strobes circle the arena. The Xtremetron flashes Obey the Master of Puppets! ECF 4 Life! The speakers blast DT yelling, ECF . . . FOR LIFE! The opening guitar solo of "Wont Back Down" by Fuel blares through the speakers. The tron shows segments of DT hitting his various finishers on opponents. As the first verse starts, Death Trap steps out onto the ramp in his Death Trap Obey the Master of Puppets shirt and shades. He has on his favorite black hat and is carrying Homer, his lucky bat. He has on his blue and red striped leather pants. He has on black boots and grapple gloves. He gives the Final Judgment sign and triggers a huge pyrotechnic chain reaction as the chorus hits.

"I wont back down
I will not drown
And I cant forget things you did
I've come to bring you hell"

The tron shows in big bold green letters "Final Judgment will be passed!". The lights brighten. He walks to the ring and takes off the hat, shirt, and shades, and drops the bat. He steps to the center of the ring and his arms in a cross. He then gives the Final Judgment sign again and sets off one final pyrotechnic eruption.*

: Well first let me address the business of the match being cut out of Shockwave. Zero, You and I have a score to settle. But as you know they cut the match from Shockwave. So we have a choice. You can take on Dragon at the Rumble and face me on the Gastro afterwards, or you can face me at the rumble it doesnt really matter to me. But I give you the choice of when we finish this. But you see as of now I have bigger things to worry about so instead of waiting for an answer Im going to make the best of this time. So I am going to address the biggest match of them all. The XHF Rumble in the Jungle Rumble match. It encompasses every superstar on the roster plus a few surprises. I figure I will do a little feature I call In Review. Thats right DT gets his own segment. Lets see them ignore me now! Heh. Ill take a look at everyone on the roster and give a little rundown. So where better to start than at the very people I was just referring to. Lets start with Zero. Zero, you think you are bigger than you are. Last I saw of you, you were complaining that I beat you unfairly. I believe the fact of the matter is that I won that match. You were careless and got so absorbed in Dragon that you got your ass kicked. Who I pinned made no difference, both of you were out cold. What have you done Zero? You lost to Kanyon for the European title and then were out for months. You come back before the January PPV and start acting like a bitch. You come around here and start hunting down people smaller than you. You go after a proven champion but a cruiserweight nonetheless. You beat him up and assault him time after time. You get a shot at the X*Crown in a battle royal, you tried underhanded tactics and you destroyed Dragon AGAIN, but you lost. You failed. You were eliminated. You lost. So you once again go after the man you know you have beaten time and time again. Instead of going for a challenge. But you made the mistake of insulting my honor and skills while I was in a bad mood and look what happened. You beat up Dragon looking for a quick win to avoid me and I showed you that you cannot avoid it, it was inevitable. I put you down hard, you were out cold. Now in this rumble match it will be the same as the other one. You are going to go over the top rope and fall to the floor. You will look up and see you have lost to a superior man.

*cheers*

: Then you have the other man I beat in that match. The one who I pinned. Shadow Dragon. Dragon is a proven fighter and a former Junior Heavyweight and former Phoenix Champion. Hes done a lot in his time in XHF. He has more than proven himself to be worthy of being a champion. However he doesnt seem to be able to hang with the bigger fighters. Zero put him out what, 3 times in a row with a simple powerbomb? And Zero isnt even that big. Dragon you rely too much on your high flying ability. Diversify man. You cant win on speed alone. You cant just have heart. Thats like running smack into a brick wall and expecting to be awake afterwards. Dragon I have nothing but respect for you but you will not stand in my way at the Rumble. You can put your heart into it but when it comes down to it, you cant handle the bigger fighters which is a huge disadvantage, makes it very hard to eliminate people. Achievements mean nothing here. This is a battle where only the strong survive. It is all out war all fighting for one prize. This is not the time for you. When it comes down to it you will suffer the same fate you did in that three way, getting battered and bruised, getting eliminated.

*He turns to the fans*

: Now you have the people that havent really been around. People who chickened out and decided not to show their faces in a while. People like . . . Minibadboy. My old buddy from ECF MBB. The only guy from ECF that faced me once and only once one on one and he somehow took my World Title by holding my tights or using the ropes, I dont remember, its not important anyway. MBB is a classic example of a screw-up, a has-been. In ECF he was a predominant force. A tag team champ, a World Champ, a real fighter who would never quit and proved size didnt matter. Yet he fell off the map after he lost the title to his former partner Gravedigger. He comes here to XHF and gets his ass kicked a lot by Ace. He had more shots at that Junior Heavyweight Title than Ive had shots at any titles and I had one at Phoenix, one at X*Crown, and two at World. What does that tell you? And the same guy each time. Ace put him out in each one of those matches. He couldnt get the job done. He never could. It was his fault that his teams always lost. He lost the titles . . . to me nonetheless. Then he gets a shot in XHF to redeem himself and he gets owned by Magnus and a few other guys until Hurricane helps him out. Hurricane was a member of Anarchy and a fairly successful guy in XHF but he loses the title match and MBB loses it for him, and now hes gone! MBB disappeared too. MBB is only a team player, he cant win alone. Its a proven fact. MBB is not capable of standing up on his own. He needs support. He is a leech, feasting off of the success of others to either bring himself success or to cause the demise of his host! MBB is not a threat. Why else would he have left. He cant deal with this. He cant take it. MBB is a useless, shameless, talent-less, piece of crap. He wouldnt even face me here in a rematch from ECF, he ran instead. That is not what it takes to be a champ!

*cheers*

: But wait, there are more that seem to have disappeared. Jake Johnson is another version of MBB. He came to the fed, nothing but a hope and a prayer. Young blood. Possibilities! Yet he loses it all. He has one match. Again with that ever present Junior Heavyweight title, again with Ace! He actually expected to win a title in his first match. No one does that! He gets his ass handed to him. Now hes gone. A rookie shattered in his first match? Cmon! We are above that! We are beyond the days of crying over a single loss. Instead of coming back and making up for it, he quits and now expects to win the rumble? No, no way. Not while I have a say in it. No last class quitter is going to take the right to fight for the reason we all wrestle. Next you have this punk Xavior. He shows up and serves no purpose other than to be a loser. He comes to our fed, has a few matches, mostly just stays to annoy Dagger, and teams with Harry. Then you have Zakk Wylde. Another case of MBB-itis. This guy fights his way to the top. He digs his way up the ranks faster than most people dream of. He gets that all important shot at Reeshi in a three-way with Will Spencer in there. He fails, he loses the match . . . he bitches for a while . . . and then . . . fades away. People we cant have a champ who will fade away in the face of a loss or pain. Now everyone here in this arena . . . would you support one of these false fighters? One of these leeches? One of these no-talent hacks?

*crowd yells NO then cheers*

: Then you have to more guys who seem to have disappeared off the face of the Earth but who did have success. You have Xtreme Warrior first of all. Xtreme Warrior is your basic high flying daredevil who will risk his own body to beat people. Sure it sounds good but again you cant rely on a single tactic. Now Warrior here was a champion. He won a belt. He did pretty good for himself too. He held onto that belt like it was his life, just like a true champion. However when a true challenger came around he buckled and got beat. Instead of bouncing back or going for a new title, he fights a few jobbers and maybe had an injury or whatever and disappears. Anyone who can have that much success that early on should have a bit more self esteem. However he doesnt! He fails and immediately cries himself home and vanishes to the bowels of society. What will he be like on his next appearance? Who knows? Who cares? All that matters is that he will be one of many people who will topple over that top rope and litter the ground. Another puppet to stand in my way who will be . . . DEALT with.

*cheers*

: Then there is Winter Callous. Now this guy was pretty cold . . . no pun intended . . . but he was merciless. He didnt care who you were, hed fight. But he really had this pet peeve for luchadors . . . masked wrestlers. Why? Who knows? Maybe he was frightened by a movie as a child, maybe his step dad wore a mask and beat him. Maybe hes a psychopath who had no right being a fighter and was mentally unstable. Does it really matter? All that matters is when he did find some masked guy or a guy with an outrageous gimmick a la Hurricane, he destroyed him. He was merciless and methodical and tore apart the division. He even claimed a title. He took that title and used it as a method of getting more challengers. Yet he came up on one Shadow Dragon. Dragon defeated him. Now this was a horrific loss for him since . . . well it was a masked guy, and that whole inferiority complex type mask fear thing pops out. He is crushed in spirit and makes a few appearances, very spread apart. Cant bear to be in that ring after losing to a masked man. Now if he gets that way now off a low ranking title over one loss, how will he handle all the masked men in that rumble? Hell collapse and die of his mask hatred. Hell hell be in gimmick soup in that ring. He is not ready, he isnt of stable mind. Therefore he cant win. And he wont. And he doesnt deserve to. Anyone who will run from their problems and defeats and demons is not fit for that title. I am the one who never quits, never backs down, and never dies. I am the one who keeps coming until he achieves what he seeks. That is why that rumble victory and that shot at the title will belong to me! Now you also have two more former contenders here, Icarus Krazy . . . he is a little screwy if you ask me. He pretends to be Mongos ghost. He blew his shot at a title belt. Now he is also a cruiserweight, another disadvantage. Then theres Mr. X. The former Hardcore champ. Ever since he lost his belt to Smash hes been out of it. Nothing is worse than a seven foot tall loser who cant find his way. He is a hardcore star only, he has no reason left. He couldnt keep that US belt and he sure as hell wont win this belt. Although he may command attention being a larger star in the rumble. He still is too bent out of shape to actually have a shot. He is out of focus and out of training, and out of his element! I am going to prove to him that the bigger you are, the harder you fall.

*cheers erupt*

: Now you do have two women in this rumble. One who has proven herself here in XHF as a worthy fighter, and one who has proven to me in at least three other feds that she is the real deal. One of them is of course Dagger. My old friend from ECF and UWCF. Former champion many times over. GDs girl. Dagger is no pushover. She never let anything stand in her way. As I recall she even beat the late Mongo the Destroyer. She would put down anyone with her amazing karate skills. Although she was very tough and resilient, she was still a lightweight though. She could beat you if you gave her the chance to use her moves and put you down. But endurance is not her strong suit. In a match of this caliber with all the heavyweights in there, she wont be able to come out on top. She has never beaten me or GD and her XHF career isnt off to a terrific start. She is in a bit of a slump. She cant seem to stay here, she keeps training to heel injuries and try to get stronger. But there is a limit to what a person is capable of. You cannot improve on the limits of your body. She can hang with the best of them but not at the same time. Then you have the wife of the Number One Contender, Tara Spencer. She has had success here in XHF. She has won her matches, won the Phoenix Title. She held onto that title. She has beaten some of the bigger names such as Chuck Velez. Although you see a recurring pattern among the female superstars here. Size is a problem. They are too small. Tara could not take down Apollyon! Having fought him, I know he isnt a challenge. She couldnt take the pure size of Appy. He put her down with a single boot. Size makes a difference in a match like this. If you cant life someone to put them out, you cant win. Tara and Dagger cannot come out on top, they are simply too small with weak endurance to have a chance. You need to be able to kick out of anything . . . like me. When they can take four finishers from someone like Gravedigger and still win the match, then Ill retract my statement. But for now endurance and size are the keys. And we all know that the Master of Puppets has the best endurance of anyone.

*Cheers*

: Then of course you get the biggest name of all of these slackers. The biggest name of all these so called stars who decided to just duck out. One man. This man is able to get under anyones skin, hes considered one of the better fighters in the fed. Hes a legend to long time fans yet he has always been known to let down the fans, since he really only appears to piss them off. That man is the one and only drunken bitch, Rat Bastard! Rat Bastard, the alcohol fueled remorseless SOB. He has held every major title in the federation. He has made a name for himself in almost every fed there is. He was even the World Champion after the first AC match. He took advantage of Mongo and got the pin after Destruction interfered and kept the belt from the hands of Gravedigger after he put Reeshi out. Rat Bastard is the one man everyone at one point has had it out for. In fact if not for this selfish oaf ID BE HOLDING THAT WORLD TITLE! You all remember Supremacy. I had Reeshi reeling. I had the match right where I wanted it after Reeshi tried to rob me. We were back on even ground where Reeshi is not used to being. Reeshi is used to having the playing field tipped towards him. Yet Rat Bastard and Chris Sanders come out and ruin it! They have the nerve to attack me from behind. Then in the AC match it happens again. I own Reeshi and have the title in my hands but Rat Bastard and Chris Sanders ruin it and allow Reeshi to keep the damn belt. Rat Bastard has been around too long. Now he finally finds it time to duck out and lay low. But I will not be fooled. I know he is just biding his time until he gets another shot at Reeshi. He is sick and power hungry. He doesnt accept anything less anymore. The X*Crown he created, the US belt he once had, the retired belts he had. It isnt enough. He has to linger around with the people who earn their shots and get his own shots by taking them out and stealing their shots. Well this isnt a shot for the Bastard to take, this is my shot. My turn to get it. He stole the shot from me at Supremacy, he stole the match from me at Xtreme Xmas. No MORE! He will be vanquished. He will not take the shot this time. This is someone elses turn to take down the champ and win that belt. This is my turn! MY TURN! It is my turn to steal the shot from him. I dont care if I have to eliminate one man or one hundred men, I will get back the shot that is rightfully mine. My chances have been abused and commandeered for the last time. This is my turn in the drivers seat and no drunken has-been fool will tell me otherwise!

*cheers erupt yet again*

: There are a few real new guys hanging around getting undeserved attention and shots too. Lets start with this guy Punker. This pathetic excuse of a wrestler with no talent, Punker. This loser who cant even land a move, Punker. The guy comes out and decides on a strategy. Challenge the better men in the fed, piss off and make enemies with half the fed, and try to ally himself with the other half. He dedicates himself to interfering to help people win, not that hed help. He pledges to kick ass on everyone who dislikes him. He tries to act tough. He never says more than two sentences at a time, I dont know, limited brain power maybe? And he is a nuisance to most people just by being around. But I have no respect for him since he has no skill. He challenges Gravedigger for the title in his first match, mistake number one. He loses to a shove, a German Suplex, and a Sky High without ever landing a move, he was unconscious! The guy cannot fight! Simple as that. Why anyone wants to team with him I dont have the slightest clue, maybe to look better themselves? This guy cant possibly expect to win the rumble, or be a champ, anytime soon! Then there is his Russian partner . . . sorry, comrade . . . Axel Vain. A big brute who has yet to prove himself. Well at least the guy speaks. He talks better and has a sense of what it means to be in a federation. I can give him that. He is brave to be a communist in the USA but hey were lenient people I guess . . . hell he may even know Nicholai Volkoff! Never know. Fact is hes a rookie. He has no sense of talent and cant hope to stand a chance at winning. Especially by his own standards of proving talent. He tells Punker he has to prove himself. Punker gets his ass handed to him by Gravedigger, and yet Axel comes open arms to him. Guess we all now know why communism failed! If that is how they decide who is good and who can lead, its a wonder why we even have to TRY and stop it, it would just as soon stop itself! Its like shooting yourself in the foot with a silver bullet. It just doesnt make sense! This man may have talent but youd never know. If he does Punker will drag him down . . . so far that he wont be able to pull himself out again. Never mind one step forward, two steps back, this is an all out leap off the cliff to the bottom of the well! There is no possible way these two can come close to beating people like me in this rumble! Am I right my Trapheads?

*Crowd erupts in cheers and Commies Suck Chants.*

: Then you have these other rookies in a faction here with my friend Dagger. I dont understand what they did to her head, how they brainwashed her, but it doesnt matter. Jonathan Dark . . . a new comer. This guy doesnt seem to like to talk very much. He seems to enjoy putting people on and letting them speculate. Normally that would work, guys wont know what to expect, but the first thing he does say . . . IS HIS STYLE! And then theres Gangrel. I dont think he scares people. He tries at least. Him and his little chalice which is full of blood. Which by the way is probably just Kool-Aid. He thinks intimidation is the way to win matches, but I know better. There are some people who can see right through you and will be your end. There is never a fool-proof strategy, you have to be able to go with the flow. That is why I always try new things. Maybe that is also why he had to leave WWE. Gangrel is a loser. He wears the false fangs, drinks fake blood, and emerges from fire. He acts all big and bad like a deranged vampire. Yet all these two have done so far is stalk Dagger, somehow brainwash her into thinking they can help her win, and then get themselves a HANDICAP match! Handicap matches show lack of skill if you need two people to take out one especially if its another rookie. Gangrel had his time back during the era of the Ministry. This so called Brood is just a little gimmick to gather a bunch of people to them to use them to cover their own weaknesses. They pick up the people on losing streaks with promises of grandeur and a change yet they cant deliver and deep down the fighters know this. But theyd do anything for a win and if numbers give them that then theyll obey. They cannot possibly hope to keep these people on their side once they see that the Brood is nothing but a farce. I am the real deliverer, I am the real master. I make my own destiny. These other people like Dagger should take it in their OWN hands to win and not rely on these false saviors!

*He pauses and looks around*

: Now you get Iceman. The guy who pretends to be a living snowman apparently. Sure Iceman has pinned me but those first two matches back were warm-ups after being out for a month with injuries from returning from the AC match too early. Now I am back at 100% and as you saw when I took down Zero and Dragon, when Im at my best I can take out anyone. Iceman I dont care who you think you are or what shot you have coming. You are on my hit list. You know sometimes you cant be on fire, on a roll, if you dedicate yourself to being cold. Maybe you should try something new because now that I am back to myself you wont be able to touch me, the Master. You will be another victim of the puppet master, the one who cuts the strings, the one who delivers the final judgment. And you will be just another loser come the rumble. You see you will not defeat me again, and this time I am fully focused on my goal. Nothing will get in my way. Not cold or ice, not you. Then there is your challenge at the rumble, the European Champion, Kanyon. I think I know Kanyon pretty well. You see it was way back after End of Days, September I believe but I might be wrong. Back when I was still in my first run in XHF. I believe Kanyon determined I was not a contender but faced me anyway. I kicked out of a Flatliner and pinned him without even using a finisher. So he is forced to give me a shot at his Phoenix Title. And what happens, at the Birthday Show . . . same result. I beat him and take the title. Kanyon is a known whiner. He complains about everything. I beat him and he complained about it for a month. Finally he decided to leave me alone and goes after Gravedigger. Kanyon is not a talented athlete. He has streaks of good luck. He is a whiner. As I recall he repeatedly lost to Raven and Xtreme Warrior. And up until December couldnt seem to win a match at all. Another useless fighter in the rumble only to fill space since hes on the roster. Ive already proven to everyone that EVERYBODY BETTA THAN KANYON! He can keep deceiving himself with useless lies and broken words. But deep down Kanyon knows that everybody is better than him. Deep down he knows that he never could and never will be able to beat the Master of Puppets. Come Sunday at the rumble you will be just two more bodies over the top rope to the floor. Two more fallen fighters. Two more people whose dreams will be shattered.

*cheers*

: Then theres the forgotten champion. The man no one has even heard a word of since he fought Jake Johnson. That man is another fighter who has a lot of heart and skill. That is Ace. Ace is the resident Junior Heavyweight Champion. A man who went through a slew of men to claim that title. He beat Shadow Dragon, MBB, and Platinum for that belt. Ace has the skill needed to be a champion. However he is small. Another size disadvantage. There is no way he can win this rumble. He will be too easy for the larger stars to manhandle and overpower. Im not trying to take away from Ace because he has the talent he is just too light and small. He is not strong enough to withstand this match. There is too much on the line here and the larger guys will not let themselves be taken by his heart. It will take much more than that here. The last guys we saw around him are also in a bit of a spit here. Platinum. Now Ive encountered Platinum before. He was a cocky, arrogant loser. He had previously lost everything to Gravedigger so he tried to take out GD to get Dagger to join him. He couldnt take a hint. He just kept pestering everyone. Maybe he changed since then. He acted different for a while, taking Decoy under his wing and teaching him the art of true fighting. But to me he is still that cocky SOB who is begging for a beating. And from how he cost Decoy the title it seems I am right. It is dead obvious that he did it on purpose because he wants Decoy to prove himself but not to outdo him. He was jealous and greedy. Platinum is a low-down dirty snake in the grass and he will turn on Decoy in this rumble to try to win. I know this . .. but then Platinum cant win this rumble. He will be too obsessed with personal gain. He will not be able to focus on a single goal. He will be another victim. I dont care if hes the million dollar superstar, the overly obsessed with jewelry superstar, or the back stabbing snake superstar, he will fall at that rumble. Then theres his buddy Decoy. Now Decoy is a good wrestler and has the potential but he is a little . . . how to put this . . . off in the attic. Decoy is a few sandwiches short of a picnic, a few pages short of a coloring book. He is being deceived by Platinum who doesnt REALLY care if Decoy gets better, hes using him to bring himself back up to the top. Decoy cant realize that. Of course in the rumble his downfall will be his inability to stay focused on a single event for an extended time. He will fall into a daze or his Ritalin will wear off and hell just be another loser. A pity.

*He looks at the tron and back to the fans and talks again*

: Now you have Bongo the Destroyer. A former assistant to Mongo, a former hardcore champion. Bongo hasnt wrestled in quite a while though. If I recall, he hasnt fought since well before Mongos tragic death . . . well death at least. Bongo will not be ready for this. I dont think I even need to do this little review on him but I felt I should mention him just to acknowledge his past achievements. There is one man who I do have to talk about. The former champion . . . the legend . . . the turncoat . . . Scorpion.

*boos galore*

: Scorpion was put out of commission by Destruction. He was one of the top superstars but after losing the title at the AC match at the birthday show he fell off the map and was eventually put out of his misery . . . or so we thought. The man behind the face paint returned. He hid behind a mask of himself until the time was right and he came and assaulted JL in the second AC. He comes back teamed with, of all people, Rat Bastard. He betrays the fans that supported him to the end. He comes back as a full fledged loser. He has one match with Spencer in which there was a ton of interference and disappears again. Put simply Scorpion has lost his ability, his will, and his backing. Rat is gone, Sanders is gone, and Rage wont help anymore since he wants this too. Scorpion is a loser waiting to be put to sleep. And the rumble will be his awakening. This isnt the same XHF he came to so long ago. This isnt his era anymore. This is a new time, new age, a new beginning. This rumble will prove to all that he is not a star anymore. He is not a force anymore. He is a has-been and that title will never again he his.

*cheers*

: There are two superstars who I really hate for what they do. It seems Apollyon and Chuck Velez have lost their confidence in fighting so they pick on women. Velez never really returned. After what happened at the hands of Venom he never really recovered. He is too afraid to face anyone alone or any man for that matter. So he picks on Tara. He relies on Reeshi to weaken her first. And he relies on other means of sneak attacking. He challenges her at the PPV because he cant face a man, he isnt ready, he is too afraid. And a strap match no less. Does he have no self esteem left? He is a washed up loser who cant fight anymore. He hides behind Reeshi. He came out trying to save his boy in the AC match at Xtreme Xmas but didnt really help. He fought the guys in the ring and left Reeshi to die at my hands because he couldnt take me. He feared me. So he let Reeshi fall and beat the guys in the ring. But he didnt really affect the outcome with his help. Chucky is out of his place and out of his league. Velez clearly isnt the Future, he isnt even the present. But I will make sure to make him HISTORY! Then you have old Appy. Apollyon is a loser. As I recall I beat him three times in a row for my title back in my run. As I remember he didnt pose a challenge. I set him on fire twice. I burned him. After he fought me he went through about five different appearances while healing. Im sure he remembers. I know I can beat him again. He is not a problem. He too has resorted to using sheer size to overpower women since he cant compete with men anymore. I crushed his confidence, I broke his spirit, and I burned his body. And Sunday I will toss him over the top rope. There is no doubt in my mind that any guy who resorts to bullying women who are half his size poses no threat.

*Appy Sucks chants start up*

: Now you have two teams involved with the titles as part of a 6 man tornado match. One team being the KKK. No not the idiots who where white killing people due to skin color, just the idiots. You got Fury here who as far as I can tell beat up Renegade for no reason and lost his chance at the tag titles to team up with another guy and they now call themselves Kousins or at least thats as far as I could follow. I really dont pay attention to losers like Fury. He has always been a tag style wrestler and doesnt really threaten anyone in the rumble. However you have Matt Hicks, or as GD calls him, Hiccup. Hicks has had success, both at losing title matches and eating laxatives. Now Matt has had shot after shot at the X*Crown, the European Title, and probably more. Yet he hasnt succeeded. Matt has the skill . . . I think. But we saw in the X*Crown rumble that he cant handle the situations. Hicks is not ready for the big time yet, hence the tag team. That leads me to two upstarts who show amazing talent and even more ego. Kris Quake and Johnny Styler. They did impress me in the tag tournament. They showed amazing resilience and teamwork. Although in singles competition and group competition how can they handle? We have yet to see Quake and Styler is 1-1 in singles. How will they be if they come against each other? We will have to see. Can they handle a match of this caliber and will they be able to handle the others success? I dont think so. They will crumble. You see ties to others in a match like this can be a big downfall. Which is why they will all go over that very top rope Sunday.

*cheers*

: Coming to the wire here. Another team here that has experienced singles success. I think Ill start with the rookie. Lets look at Red Ember Man, REM. REM comes here and shows some decent talent. He comes out and impresses me. Yes, impressed. From what I have seen, he knows what hes doing in that ring. He knows how to call the shots and knows what he is doing next. He gets his shots too. He comes out here and makes a name for himself. He showed there is nothing hotter than fire, maybe not him, but fire yes. But . . . you could always just ask Apollyon about that one. Now he does get the shot at Ishnari for the US Title. And he came damn close to beating that insane commentator. That is a huge achievement for a rookie. And he gets a shot at the rumble in a handicap match to prove how tough he is. However easy the New Brood may be . . . you have to wonder, what toll will it take on him. He isnt immortal, that fire CAN be extinguished. We will just have to play on the injuries here in this match. Now talent or not no man can take an unlimited amount of punishment . . . well not REM at least. Weve seen the men in the AC matches and old ECF matches take much worse. It comes down to endurance with this young star. He has the strategy, block out everything except what is in that ring. Know your position, know your foe better than he knows you. What to expect? Although he has one MAJOR downfall. The one that will cost him everything. He is way too cocky going into every match. Its okay to be confident like me, study the tapes and go in thinking two steps ahead. But dont go in there underestimating your foe. That is the main problem here!

*He stops*

: But hey if you think about it, all these so called big names including REM have done just that. They neglected to even mention me. They dont even consider me a threat. Now we all know that is a big mistake. People all my life have underestimated me, I was told Id never be a fighter, then a pro, then a champ, then a big name, then World Champ. But Ive always proven them wrong and gone one step beyond the expectations of my peers and superiors. Now I have my chance. And once again I am being underestimated by everyone. That is never smart. If REM goes into the rumble thinking he will be the best man in that ring, he will lose. Even I can say Im not the best man in that ring by current standards. But as stated by Metallica. One can win, when the world is gone and Im just one, the one man who survives, THEN I can say I am the best, I am the one! I am the TRUE MASTER!

*cheers*

: That leads me to his partner and friend. An old buddy and partner of mine. A total jackass who got beat by a ceiling fan in his XHF TV debut . . . the one and only Magnus. Now Magnus and I have had quite the history. It was in ECF where we both got our start. We used to be partners. He had been there months before I joined. He had been the US Champ and a tag champ but had just lost them both. In fact I came and in my first match I got put through a table illegally and he saved my ass. Yet one short month later I was leading the new faction XWO and he had quit it because he wasnt. And it was then that we got our title shot. International title, DT vs. Magnus vs. Risktaker. Steel cage. I put him out with my early attempts at a finisher the Home Run, a tazplex and a 450 splash. Then I put out Risktaker and pinned him and won easily. I became the US Champ, Hardcore Champ, and tag champ before he won another title . . . in fact he never DID win another ECF Title. Then EWO invaded and we were once again put into an alliance, once again best buds. Me, GD, MBB, Magnus and Funaki stood up against Hardcore Harry and his EWO buds. Now Harry had about 5 guys beat me up then pinned me ending ECF. But the week after it was me vs. Harry and Magnus vs. Captain Maxim with the ECF and EWO Titles on the line. Magnus fell to Maxim who wasnt all that great. And Harry once again had about five guys interfere. With the help of TJ Dreamer, Johnnyhead, and Jon Storm taking out the interference I rebounded and took out Harry. But Magnus failed and wasnt seen except in a goodbye match in a cage versus me. And I let him win to go out in style because we were friends. But friendships apparently are not everlasting because he betrayed me and in UWCF tried to take me out, to no avail I might add. Then he comes here and I mis-scouted an attack. I messed up and he took advantage and pinned me. But after a month of injury its understandable. He was back in shape. I wasnt. Now he has a shot at Ishnaris title. And I am rewarded with nothing.

*boos*

: But now I earn the shot, I get it all back, Magnus gets his ass kicked at the rumble by Death Trap. This is where it all comes back to haunt him. If we do meet in that rumble I will make him pay. No, I wont just destroy him. That would not be good because there are other men in that ring. But I would beat him down and toss him over that rope. I will show him who is REALLY the better man. Who is REALLY the one who should hold that title. Magnuss own cocky attitude and stupidity will be his undoing. He will fall to Ishnari and then fall at the rumble. And the Master of Puppets will rise and take the spotlight and the NOC3 Main Event!

*cheers*

: That leads me to the people I think will be the biggest threats. First and foremost is the master of the chicken hold himself. The US Champion and XHF lead commentator Ishnari. Now Ishnari is a stand up guy. He believes in upholding the rules. Although he is a little TOO strict in there with his beliefs. However he is usually impartial in his match calling. He is quite good at what he does. He has defended his belt 7 times now with success. Not too shabby. A multi-talented guy, not since Funaki! That is something to be proud of. But then again he is an honest guy. He says what he thinks and usually without worry. And you know what, a lot of what Ish says is true. Like when he spoke about REM. He is right, we should try to eliminate our flaws. Try to draw more fans and in turn win more matches. That is important, a lesson I myself have taken to heart. But then again he isnt taking his own advice. He is a bit of a hypocrite. You see he is far TOO honest and out front, sometimes situations require finesse. And then again he isnt ALWAYS right. Look at me, I ALWAYS draw a crowd no matter what and I dont Always win. I go out there and do something different, new, every time and in return the fans come to see what I will do next, how I can next cut the strings and pass final judgment. But hey dont think less of him. He has figured out MY strategy for winning. He said it himself, rage is a tool that can be used to success but only if you control it. Mind over body. Brains over brawn. Knowing your opponent better than he knows you. Its as I always have said. But then he doesnt know me all that well since he announced me as a rookie in my matches with Magnus and Iceman. But if he was so good at studying the opponents hed know better. Another bit of underestimating going on here. Put bluntly, Ish knows the keys to winning but is not one hundred percent able to use them. He knows how to win but that doesnt mean he WILL. You see at the rumble it is a matter of strength first at least for the endurance factor. In a match like the rumble where you only have to toss someone out, strategy isnt ALWAYS needed. Like I said earlier size DOES play a factor here. You cant win a rumble on brains alone, there are too many people. There are too many variables, hypothetical monkey wrenches in the gears. You cant predict or know how to react with so many men in the ring, and so many different strategies folding out in front of you. Ishnari has all the skill in the world but here is the ONE time where that wont matter. It takes a bit of uncontrolled testosterone, a bit of adrenaline, a bit of luck if you will! Just wait and see, youll understand. And then youll realize why they call me the master!

*cheers erupt*

: Next you get the man who Ish humiliated and sent on an insanity streak. Hardcore Harry. Harry who will never be able to eat chicken again. Something about the letters KFC set him off. Wonder why . . . oh well guess Tapout McGee will have to learn to cope with the fact that he tapped out. Harry and I go back real far. He is the one who brought me into the wrestling business. And I am the one who he saw the most potential in back in ECF. I am the star he avoided at all costs. Yet when it came down to him vs. me, he couldnt win without interference. And even then I took the title from him. I was the one who saved ECF. Yet in XHF he showed me he really CAN wrestle when he beat me in my first pay-per-view match in XHF. It was against him I unveiled the Brick House match. It was he who beat me for my Phoenix Title. Yet look at him now. It seems he took one too many shots to the head from Smash in that month with the 24/7 rule on the hardcore belt. He snaps at the first chance he gets when Magnus asks if he wants chicken! He basically says he sucks and that Ish sucks. He freaks out so easily. I never knew the Hardcore Legend was such a Hardcore Crybaby!

*laughs from the crowd and KFC chants*

: It gets better. His brain must have been crushed a bit. He goes into an all black bar wearing a KKK shirt with a burning cross on it. How dumb can he get . . . oh wait it gets better. He starts trying to explain himself but gets himself in deeper. He comes off looking like a racist sack of crap. Then he mistakes the date of the rumble and gets told off as having the mind of a child . . . which he does . . . but it gets better. He thinks out loud a derogatory comment and gets the place riled up. He gets his ass chased out. Funny shit there. Then . . . he comes out today talking to a kid acting like Joe Pesci in Lethal Weapon! My God! He gets insulted by a pair of hicks trying to meet Gravedigger! But wait it gets better, GD may have been told not to bring this up but I have to, as its my job in this segment. He states hes been doing the guys wives and they come out and say theyre gay. What does that tell you, and why the hell has he been around Dr. Strangelove so much? Wherever Harry is, Strangelove is there with an odd smile on!

*laughs*

: And if we look back I seem to recall him getting doused by shit from Mongos septic tank. His truck must still reek. And who can forget the hotel. Oh and the whole gimmick as tutu man. Yea real skilled. And he fakes his own death to get attention since his wrestling wont get it. But hey lets move on . . . his opponent on Sunday . . . my best friend Gravedigger. Hmm . . . it does surprise me knowing how well GD and I know each other that he hasnt considered me a threat for the rumble knowing were even at every turn. Every match is a roll of the dice. We steal the show whenever we fight. We are both always right at the top near the better belts in the feds. It does surprise me. We all know GD is the best. He has beaten every big name that has challenged him. But thats never stopped us before. He seems to have gotten a bit of an ego. Seven Titles do tend to get to your head. You know what he said did make me think though, about how Ive been on a losing streak. And not my best. He is right. I havent been. I havent been able to get to my best yet. But you know what Gravedigger, I usually dont reach my best unless Im pushed there. It sometimes takes a big match like this rumble, a massive chance like this, to get the old juices flowing and get the muscles working right. I feed on the need. The more I am pushed the better I get. With me you know that the tougher the situation is the better I am. I draw off of the situation. In a match of this caliber it will bring out my best and you know that. It takes a match like this to bring out the REAL Death Trap. Like you I need to focus. I need to keep that one goal in my sight. However it seems you have stumbled on the one weakness of the great G-D. Time. You seem to be unable to deal with the wait. You need your action. You seem a bit edgy, unable to sit still GD. Patience not your strongest point? To me I see that as an ugly smudge on your little prototype of excellence. Why? Because Gravedigger, you have always played on being the calm collected one in a match. You use the other guys flaws to your advantage. But if you cant even focus on the match yourself, you are losing your advantage GD. Granted you can say youre focused but I know you better, you are too jumpy and edgy to be the normal GD. Whereas I am perfectly relaxed. I finally feel up to my normal standards. And in your current state I think you will make more mistakes and be that much EASIER to throw out. But I wont take you lightly, I know better, youll fight to the end. I know I have to watch my back. I know not to leave myself open with you. You are the wanted man here though GD. You are the one that may end up double teamed. So maybe you should try to calm down and worry about yourself? I can handle myself this time man. I am not going to that rumble any less than my best. Count on it.

*Cheers*

: GD seems to be attracting some negative attention, especially at the hands of that punk Jeremy Lewis. JL seems to be really pissed at the fact that GD turned his own catchphrase against him. Hmm . . . I wonder whats next? *pause* JL comes out here and starts firing the insults out at GD but GD has beaten him, many times. But hey JL and I used to be partners. We used to be a great team. However a few accidents and look at him now. He is MORE than crazy. He gets pissed off whenever you call him Diamond or Wraith. And he issues empty threats to Reeshi about getting under his skin . . . Well JL, put simply . . . you can get under his skin but I am the one who can kick his ass. You are all talk. You have tried to beat Reeshi before and fallen not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES! If I remember right it was interference that ended my match with him, it was me who put out Reeshi for half the AC match back at XX until he pinned Sanders instead of facing me again. It was I who took him out, not you. I was the real power in Anarchy Inc. As soon as I left, it fell apart. It crumbled. JL you were never able to win the big match. Thats why you at first wanted to team with GD. You know you cant win so you leech off of GD waiting for a moment. But that wont work here JL. You cant just leech this match. GD knows this isnt a team based match and that alliances wont save you. He is smarter than that. And you get pissed that he knows not to do anything dumb like teaming? Are you that dense. I can see right through you! GD may not go to NOCIII but you wont either. I will. I will be the one man who you overlook that ends up besting you. And I will leave you laying. You wont have to wonder whats next, because there is nothing! You will meet your end. I will get my revenge for that powerbomb and ankle lock, for trying to steal my chance, and I will steal it all. I will take it back, I will go to NOC to face the champ. And while I like Spencer and I know he CAN win, I really want to beat REESHI for that title after my rumble victory. I will do what YOU could not do JL and that is take that opportunity and win the big one. You can plan and plot and strive and try to take action, but I will be one step ahead. I will be delivering the final verdict, the final judgment on you JL. This is not your turn, it never has been. This rumble will be MY turn to show you all who I am. You will NEVER forget MY name again! I will be on the list of Rumble Champions, and I will be the World Champion! And JL you can go dig GDs grave, you can wonder whats next in your life, you can be like Nike and Just Do It but you will end up like all the rest, in your own death trap. And thats all there is to it.

*He stops to catch his breath and let the fans calm down*

: But there are more people my friends, my fans. There is of course the Bald Behemoth himself. The king of blowing it, the former Universal Champion, the Turtle Wax using, Dingo Steak eating, cage match losing, biggest turncoat sack of crap ever to DIS-grace an XHF ring! That man is of course Rage. Rage . . . I remember back in GDs Euro title run. You fell to that Doomsday Cage. And the AC match, you tried to screw over everyone for B Diddy but ended up getting your ass kicked and having to count Reeshi pinning your man Primetime. Rage I can only remember you losing, is there a reason for that? Could it be you are a chronic loser? Why just a little while ago you fell in a cage match to Destruction, who had an injured arm he couldnt even use. Rage, face it. You are just like Scorpion, a washed up former champ who cant cut it anymore. You are unable to convert. You cant do it anymore. You have lost your edge, your advantage, and your ability. You dont deserve to go to NOC3. That privilege belongs to me, a young fighter who can take that advantage and become a dominant champion. You just cant cut it anymore Rage. But wait, then theres the guy who interfered last night at match end. James The Shit Mueller. First and foremost let me just say I dont care what context hes using it as, shit is not a good nickname. Hell, his logo could be a smoldering pile of crap . . . Harrys truck! It comes to mind at least. Its hard to take someone seriously when their name is shit.

*laughs*

: He is another one that has been on a losing streak as of late losing to GD a few times. I still need to exact my revenge for the chair shot he gave me after I saved his ass from Reeshi. Hes another one thats had multiple shots at the X*Crown and the World Titles and failed. And look at his last few appearances. He has fallen on ice and cracked his head, he got beat up by a child and kidnapped before that. He has been booed out of town in his hometown. He is on a downward spiral of sorrow and agony. You cant be like him and hope to have a shot at winning. He is nothing but a cocky fool. He thinks hes the best but hasnt done a thing to prove it. Im sure my legions of Trapheads agree. Mueller is nothing anymore. He is overflowing with ego and it has eaten away his talent. He has gone down faster than the stocks in 1929! And he will go down . .. over the top rope to the floor come Sunday.

*cheers*

: That brings me to the last man on my list. That man is one I didnt give credit to but apparently is making a comeback and is upgraded from has-been to competitor. Destruction . . . a man with a horrible PPV win-loss record. Destruction . . . you come out here high and mighty and talk about Mueller . . . and you were right. And you talk about JL and his whining and talk of the X*Crown, and you are right it isnt the biggest title in the biggest fed. Ive held many World Titles but I cant say Ive held the biggest title in the biggest fed. Thats one thing you have on me . . . not for long though. Destruction you too have forgotten me and that will be your biggest mistake. You did prove my doubts wrong in the cage but you will not be able to deal with Mueller and then the rumble in one night. Not even you can take that kind of pain and punishment and hope to beat the likes of JL and myself coming in fresh! You and I arent that different. We both thrive off of situations that seem unbeatable. We both work our best in situations where the odds are against us. And we both come to hear the fans cheer out our names!

*DT chants start up*

: Yes . . . like fuel to the fire. You see when they chant my name the fire in me grows and consumes and becomes a storm of power and will. It drives me, makes me that much tougher. It sparks something inside me I cant describe. It is what I live for! Destruction you and I are alike, but not the same. You see you wont understand my reasoning. You wont take me down. I am different from every other superstar in the back. I have dealt with success and failure, pain and calm, high and low, and I know how torturous this can be, but with every little setback I get that much better. And I am ready to take MY chance. I am on the rise, the uplift, the start; I am on the opening of making my own history. And you are on the downslide. You are on your eve . . . of destruction. I a taking my turn at the helm. You had your run, and now I will have mine and leave my own legacy! I will be the underdog and come out the survivor! And you . . . will be left to wallow in your final judgment. The countdown HAS begun Destruction. Tick-tock, tick-tock. Not the countdown to the eve of destruction, but the countdown to the advent of the Puppet Master! And that is a promise!

*cheers*

: Sunday I will be the one no one expects to win, but I will prove to you all that I AM the master. I will introduce you all to a new side of Death Trap. You will all come to realize . . . I will not be stopped. And my era . . . has . . . begun! End segment . . . end game.

*Death Trap grabs his stuff and dresses up again. He raises his arms in a cross as the chorus of Wont Back Down hits. The tron flashes clips of DT winning matches in all his feds and raising the title for each match high. Pyros go off. He walks to the crowd and high fives some fans. He gives the Final Judgment sign setting more pyros off. He leaps into the crowd. At the exit at the top row he raises his arms into a cross as he exits.*