[FURANKU] Making Amends (Supremacy)
Jan 24, 2018 18:28:36 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Dave D-Flipz, and 1 more like this
Post by Steele on Jan 24, 2018 18:28:36 GMT -5
Officer #16 sighed as he poured himself another plastic sup of coffee from the dispenser in the lobby of the West Precinct in Seattle.
Officer #16: Y'know, Jones, sometimes I feel like they give me these shifts on purpose.
Jones looked up from his copy of 'The Stranger'.
Officer Jones: Huh? How d'you mean?
Officer #16: Well it always seems so... boring whenever I'm on duty. I mean, come on! We're in Seattle for Christ's sake! I could be solving murders! Busting drug deals! Tazing black people! But no, I'm just stuck at my desk all day long shuffling papers!
Officer Jones: Surely that's a good thing, no? As long as they ain't breathing down your neck about quotas then all you gotta do is kick back and relax and collect your paycheck! So quit your whining!
Officer #16: But that's not what I signed up for, Jones! I didn't train to be no damn desk jockey! I want some excitement! Some drama! Some action! My cousin down in Ohio's a cop, and he says he's spent the last few months chasing after this dude who used to play football, what's his name? Terry... Terry... Terry Bradshaw! That's it! So this Bradshaw guy he got into the wrestling biz, only he's fucking unhinged as hell. He's killed people, he's made {No Means No} threats, he crashed a damn helicopter into a veteran's hall and killed his business partner! And my cuz has been all over the place chasing him down while I'm stuck here in the middle of a huge-ass city going over parking tickets! And I'm sick of it!
Officer Jones: Sounds like you need to move to Ohio.
Officer #16: Whoa, whoa, whoa! I might be looking for a little more excitement but I'm not fucking desperate! All I want is just one teensy little break and I can die a happy man! Anything! Just gimme a murder to solve! Some liberal douche to taze! A foreign guy to shoot in a case of mistaken-
FURANKU: Excuse me is this porrice station? I need report macro-aggression against member of LGBTQWOP community.
Both the officers turned, surprised by Furanku sneaking up on them. Officer #16's mouth fell open and he looked to the heavens and mouthed a "thank you".
Officer #16: Well now son, this is your lucky day.
He said as he placed one hand over his tazer. But he didn't draw. Not yet. He decided to hear the strange little Japanese man out first.
FURANKU: It my friend Cat Brack. She dead. Murdered.
Holy shit! A murder, a foreigner, and a liberal douchebag all in one go? Officer #16 couldn't believe his luck!
Officer #16: Murdered, you say? So tell me, where were you at the time of the murder?
Officer #16 was beginning to get carried away. He unbuttoned his holster and readied his tear gas.
FURANKU: I right there. It... it my fault she dead.
Officer #16: AHA! So you admit it! Freeze motherfucker and put down your weapon! You're under arrest!
Officer #16 pulled out his nightstick as Furanku glumly held out his wrists to be handcuffed.
Officer #16: He's resisting arrest!
The officer grabbed at his tear gas and ripped the tab off but before he could spray it at Furanku, who was still there totally not resisting arrest, Officer Jones stepped in between them.
Officer Jones: Now hold on a minute, he said it's his fault but he never said he did it... you know the law; "Innocent until proven guilty."
Officer Jones walked over to Furanku and put a hand on his shoulder.
Officer Jones: Now sir, start at the beginning. Tell us-
Furanku lurched as the Officer placed a hand on him and collapsed to the floor.
FURANKU: Porrice brutarity! Porrice brutarity!
He curled up in the fetal position as absolutely no brutality occurred whatsoever. The officers looked at one another, confused. Furanku continued to shriek on the floor.
FURANKU: Am I being detained!? Am I being detained!?
Officer #16: Should we taze him now?
FURANKU: I want a rawyer! Ow! Stop hurting me!
Officer Jones sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose.
Officer Jones: Fine. But only once.
We jump to an interview room where Furanku is sitting on one side of a table, a paper cup of water in front of him. Officers Jones and #16 are on the other side of the table, Jones is seated while #16 paces near the door.
Officer Jones: Alright, look. I'll ask you one more time but if you don't give me a straight answer then he's gonna take over. And he doesn't like to be dicked around. Alright?
Furanku nodded.
Officer Jones: Good. So once again... tell me your name and your date and place of birth.
FURANKU: Furanku Furetcha. Jurry 4th, 1990. Pittsubagu, Pennshirubenia.
The officers sighed.
Officer Jones: And your parents...
FURANKU: Hank and Rou-Anne Furetcha.
Officer #16 shot forward and slammed a fist on the table.
Officer #16: ALRIGHT YOU SLIMY LITTLE COCKSUCKER, YOU TELL US THE GODDAMNED TRUTH OR I'M GONNA START-
Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Officer #16 opened it and another man stepped into the room. He handed something to Officer #16 and spoke a few words, before leaving again. Officer #16 sighed and turned towards Officer Jones.
Officer #16: So apparently it's the real deal. No forgery. guess this guy is who he says he is after all.
He threw the object onto the table. It was Furanku's American passport, gifted to him by Japanese Santa Claus a few weeks beforehand.
Officer #16: Alright Fletcher, at least we've established your identity. So now we look for your motive. Why'd you do it?
FURANKU: Do what?
Officer Jones: Why'd you kill your friend, Frank? Look, if you confess now then it'll all be easier in the long run. We'll push for a lighter sentence.
FURANKU: What? No! I not kill Cat!
Officer #16: Don't gimme that shit, boy! You said you did it the minute you walked in here!
FURANKU: No! I say it my fault! But I not kill her!
Officer #16: Alright then, so you had an accomplice to do your dirty work! Spill your guts, Fletcher, or I'll spill 'em for you!
FURANKU: It not me! It yakuza who did it! Red Dragon!
Officer Jones: Yakuza? In Seattle?
FURANKU: No! In Japan!
Officer #16: Mother-fuckin' Japan!?!?
FURANKU: Hai! I mean, yes! I go to Japan with Cat Brack to rescue woman I rove from Satanist Yakuza but they capture Cat! They kirr her! I take her to Japan... and it arr my fault!
Furanku broke down sobbing into his hands on the desk as the two Officers exchanged yet another confused look.
Officer Jones: This kid's crazy. Satanic Yakuza? We can't do shit if this happened in Japan!
Officer #16: Look boy, you better start giving us some REAL answers or you're gonna get booked for wasting Police time!
Furanku looked up at them, tears streaming, streaked with snot.
FURANKU: I am tell you the truth! Why won't you bereave me? put me to jail for getting Cat kill but you have to go after Reo Nakajima!
Officer Jones: Reo Nakajima? Isn't that the guy who runs the wrestling show around town?
Furanku nodded.
FURANKU: Yes! He nearly kill his daughter and he killed Cat! He doing magic satanic rituar to make himself young again rike Benjamin Button! I pretty sure he kill God Damn Grandpa too! He had team battre for IT and...
Officer #16: God Damn grandpa... where have I heard that name before? Hey- didn't that guy strangle himself to death in the tub?
Officer Jones: Pretty sure he did... this kid's story is all over the place.
FURANKU: And then Japanese Santa Craus, he come and he beat up everyone and...
Officer Jones: Japanese Santa Claus? Ok this kid's fuckin' fruit loops.
Officer #16: Taze him?
Officer Jones: Taze him.
Furanku came round in a filthy holding cell in the deepest part of the police station. He had flashbacks to his time in captivity over in Japan when the Red Dragon took him prisoner. He sat up on the hard fold-out bed, and looked around him. Everything was drab. The sink, the toilet, his cell-mate.
Oh! He had a cell-mate! Who was... sitting on the edge of his own bunk, rocking back and forth, staring at Furanku and grinning.
Clayton: Oh! Hey! you're up! I been waiting for you to wake up! Name's Clayton!
FURANKU: Oh... uh, my name Furanku.
Clayton stuck out a shaking hand. He seemed all-round skittish and hyperactive.
Clayton: Nice to meet you Frank! What're you in for?
FURANKU: I... I not sure any more. What about you?
Clayton: I'm in here because they're trying to keep me down, man! I know too much! So they throw me in here to try to break me! But guess what? It never works! Because I know too much!
FURANKU: You know too much? About... what?
Clayton: About the government! About the illuminati! About how it all works, man! How they're trying to keep people like you and me down!
FURANKU: Riberals?
Clayton: Everybody, man! They're trying to keep everybody down! If you know too much.... they get you!
FURANKU: So... what do you know?
Clayton: I know too much! I know they're trying to read my thoughts! They wanna use me for experiments! They took away my hat when I came in here! So they can read my brain waves! And try to hold me down!
Clayton laughed and scratched his head. Furanku felt uneasy.
FURANKU: So who is "they" that trying to read you brain waves?
Clayton: The government! They're full of illuminati, man! Illuminati jews! They go all the way to the top! All the way! They wanna start a war! Against the poor! The underpriveleged! It goes all the way to Donald Trump himself!
Furanku thought for a moment. He'd been pretty close to Donald Trump and never before had he said anything about trying to read brain-waves. It all sounded like the fabrication of a madman.
FURANKU: No it not. Donarudo Turumpu many things but he not irruminati jew, I know that much!
Clayton: He is, man! You never watch that TGK Documentary? He got hold of IT! IT holds all the secrets of the universe, man!
Furanku was bewildered. This guy watched TGK but didn't recognize the first Grand Champion sitting just feet away from him? It sounded to Furanku like this guy was so far out of his tree that he was just making up his own narrative to everything going on around him.
FURANKU: That not mind-reading device! It... it...
Furanku suddenly realized... he still didn't know what IT actually was... what would happen when IT was opened... except that if Reo got his hands on it, then the consequences would be dire.
FURANKU: I don't know...
Clayton: That's because they got to you man! They brainwashed you! Donald Trump got inside your mind!
FURANKU: That not true! You just talking crap!
Clayton held up his hands.
Clayton: Hey man I'm just telling it like it is! They're trying to control your brain waves! Trump's trying to turn everybody into mindless drones to be fed to the capitalist machine, man!
FURANKU: You crazy! I liberal man but even I know he not that crazy!
Clayton: Are you? Really? If you can't see what he's trying to do? Are you really against him? Or are you too far gone to see the truth?
FURANKU: I...
Furanku thought for a minute. What WAS he? He had turned Liberal after Trump had sided with Jeffrey Viper, he had been so pissed off and angry at Trump that he lashed out, turned his back on him, like a child rebelling against their parents.
FURANKU: I not too far gone! I not! You stop talking about Emperor rike that! He not trying to destroy America! He trying to make it great again!
Clayton: He's not, man! He's a bad dude!
FURANKU: No! He good man! Good American orange man! He stand for the common man! He purr himself up by him bootstraps with onry a mirrion dorrar to his name and rook at him now! He trying to make America be great and not a shithore rike Africa! And there onry one way to make America great again!
There was a curious noise heard in the distance... sorta like a faint whistling sound...
FURANKU: Emperor Turumpu not turn his back on me! I turn my back on HIM! And now I have to make amend! He not side with Jeffrey Viper because he think Viper better than me! Viper suck! Emperor onry side with him because I fail him and leave him no choice! So now I have to make it up to Emperor!
Clayton: You don't know what you're saying man! You're crazy man!
The noise in the distance grew louder, it began to sound more like an angry tea kettle brewing up.
FURANKU: No! I not crazy! YOU crazy! That you not see the damage being done to this country by stupid cuck riberals! They want to make other country great and America to fail! Because they jealous! Of American dream! America for REAR men who drive big truck and drink beer, not for men who drink decaff soy ratte and men who try to be rady! Rike Mad Dog Smith! And he got what I want!
Clayton: Come on, man! Don't be like them! Don't think like the 1%! Money isn't everything, man! All that glistens is not gold!
FURANKU: Gold exactly what I want! I here warrowing in self-pity because Cat came to Japan with me and got kill! When I should be worrying about patch rerationship with Emperor! And I do that by taking Mad Dog Smith title at Supremacy!
The tea-kettle whistle by now had become a piercing shriek that filled the air, and Furanku jumped up to his feet.
FURANKU: Mad Dog! Can you hear that! Can you hear the power of the Furankumaniacs! Can you feel the power of the Furankumaniacs! Because your reign of tyranny is at an end! No ronger will that great title be around your skinny waist after Supremacy!
Clayton: Who are you talking about, man! Who's Mad Dog!
FURANKU: Mad Dog the pussy-ass riberal who took MY title off of me! And now I have to get it back! To prove to Emperor that I am the man to read America into a grorious new age! To stop the rainbow wave from taking over this country! To protect Christian values from the satanic infruence of Reo Nakajima! To make this country a prace where people are PROUD to hang nuts from truck and own more guns than most armies! Because it American way! And American way is AMERICA FIRST! All men are created equal but AMERICAN man more equal than others! Fuck torerance! Fuck equarity! And fuck YOU Mad Dog Smith!
Clayton began to cower in fear at the noise grew deafening. A piercing shrill noise came from outside and the building began to shake. Suddenly, a mighty cry rang out, and the glorious American bald eagle screeched triumphantly! Firweorks exploded, and just like the walls of Jericho when the trumpets sounded, the eagle's call caused the wall to the cell to come crumbling down!
Clayton: Man, they'll fuck you so had for damaging government property! Just you wait! You'll see what they're capable of!
Furanku turned and looked at Clayton.
FURANKU: I not scared of government. I know somebody in a very high prace. And I not scared of Mad Dog Smith either. You watch TGK? Well watch Supremacy this sunday- and you see how I take back my Grand Championship of America And Only America Because Canada Not Good Enough To Be Called A Country! And then you see! Then you see the American dream come true. I gonna make amends on Sunday when I beat up Mad Dog once and for all. Then I gonna make amends in Battle For Everything. For Grandpa.
Furanku stepped through the hole in the wall and walked into the still-blazing pyrotechnic display as Clayton looked on in bewilderment.
Suddenly the key turned in the lock upon the cell door, and Officer #16 poked his head into the room.
Officer #16: Jesus fuck where the hell did all those fireworks come from?
Clayton: The Japanese guy! He did it! He called a bald eagle to blow up the wall!
Officer #16 rolled his eyes.
Officer #16: Riiiiiight. And I'm the fuckin' Easter Bunny. Come on you, get your ass in the chair. We're gonna get those secrets out of your brain one way or another.
~FIN~
Officer #16: Y'know, Jones, sometimes I feel like they give me these shifts on purpose.
Jones looked up from his copy of 'The Stranger'.
Officer Jones: Huh? How d'you mean?
Officer #16: Well it always seems so... boring whenever I'm on duty. I mean, come on! We're in Seattle for Christ's sake! I could be solving murders! Busting drug deals! Tazing black people! But no, I'm just stuck at my desk all day long shuffling papers!
Officer Jones: Surely that's a good thing, no? As long as they ain't breathing down your neck about quotas then all you gotta do is kick back and relax and collect your paycheck! So quit your whining!
Officer #16: But that's not what I signed up for, Jones! I didn't train to be no damn desk jockey! I want some excitement! Some drama! Some action! My cousin down in Ohio's a cop, and he says he's spent the last few months chasing after this dude who used to play football, what's his name? Terry... Terry... Terry Bradshaw! That's it! So this Bradshaw guy he got into the wrestling biz, only he's fucking unhinged as hell. He's killed people, he's made {No Means No} threats, he crashed a damn helicopter into a veteran's hall and killed his business partner! And my cuz has been all over the place chasing him down while I'm stuck here in the middle of a huge-ass city going over parking tickets! And I'm sick of it!
Officer Jones: Sounds like you need to move to Ohio.
Officer #16: Whoa, whoa, whoa! I might be looking for a little more excitement but I'm not fucking desperate! All I want is just one teensy little break and I can die a happy man! Anything! Just gimme a murder to solve! Some liberal douche to taze! A foreign guy to shoot in a case of mistaken-
FURANKU: Excuse me is this porrice station? I need report macro-aggression against member of LGBTQWOP community.
Both the officers turned, surprised by Furanku sneaking up on them. Officer #16's mouth fell open and he looked to the heavens and mouthed a "thank you".
Officer #16: Well now son, this is your lucky day.
He said as he placed one hand over his tazer. But he didn't draw. Not yet. He decided to hear the strange little Japanese man out first.
FURANKU: It my friend Cat Brack. She dead. Murdered.
Holy shit! A murder, a foreigner, and a liberal douchebag all in one go? Officer #16 couldn't believe his luck!
Officer #16: Murdered, you say? So tell me, where were you at the time of the murder?
Officer #16 was beginning to get carried away. He unbuttoned his holster and readied his tear gas.
FURANKU: I right there. It... it my fault she dead.
Officer #16: AHA! So you admit it! Freeze motherfucker and put down your weapon! You're under arrest!
Officer #16 pulled out his nightstick as Furanku glumly held out his wrists to be handcuffed.
Officer #16: He's resisting arrest!
The officer grabbed at his tear gas and ripped the tab off but before he could spray it at Furanku, who was still there totally not resisting arrest, Officer Jones stepped in between them.
Officer Jones: Now hold on a minute, he said it's his fault but he never said he did it... you know the law; "Innocent until proven guilty."
Officer Jones walked over to Furanku and put a hand on his shoulder.
Officer Jones: Now sir, start at the beginning. Tell us-
Furanku lurched as the Officer placed a hand on him and collapsed to the floor.
FURANKU: Porrice brutarity! Porrice brutarity!
He curled up in the fetal position as absolutely no brutality occurred whatsoever. The officers looked at one another, confused. Furanku continued to shriek on the floor.
FURANKU: Am I being detained!? Am I being detained!?
Officer #16: Should we taze him now?
FURANKU: I want a rawyer! Ow! Stop hurting me!
Officer Jones sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose.
Officer Jones: Fine. But only once.
We jump to an interview room where Furanku is sitting on one side of a table, a paper cup of water in front of him. Officers Jones and #16 are on the other side of the table, Jones is seated while #16 paces near the door.
Officer Jones: Alright, look. I'll ask you one more time but if you don't give me a straight answer then he's gonna take over. And he doesn't like to be dicked around. Alright?
Furanku nodded.
Officer Jones: Good. So once again... tell me your name and your date and place of birth.
FURANKU: Furanku Furetcha. Jurry 4th, 1990. Pittsubagu, Pennshirubenia.
The officers sighed.
Officer Jones: And your parents...
FURANKU: Hank and Rou-Anne Furetcha.
Officer #16 shot forward and slammed a fist on the table.
Officer #16: ALRIGHT YOU SLIMY LITTLE COCKSUCKER, YOU TELL US THE GODDAMNED TRUTH OR I'M GONNA START-
Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Officer #16 opened it and another man stepped into the room. He handed something to Officer #16 and spoke a few words, before leaving again. Officer #16 sighed and turned towards Officer Jones.
Officer #16: So apparently it's the real deal. No forgery. guess this guy is who he says he is after all.
He threw the object onto the table. It was Furanku's American passport, gifted to him by Japanese Santa Claus a few weeks beforehand.
Officer #16: Alright Fletcher, at least we've established your identity. So now we look for your motive. Why'd you do it?
FURANKU: Do what?
Officer Jones: Why'd you kill your friend, Frank? Look, if you confess now then it'll all be easier in the long run. We'll push for a lighter sentence.
FURANKU: What? No! I not kill Cat!
Officer #16: Don't gimme that shit, boy! You said you did it the minute you walked in here!
FURANKU: No! I say it my fault! But I not kill her!
Officer #16: Alright then, so you had an accomplice to do your dirty work! Spill your guts, Fletcher, or I'll spill 'em for you!
FURANKU: It not me! It yakuza who did it! Red Dragon!
Officer Jones: Yakuza? In Seattle?
FURANKU: No! In Japan!
Officer #16: Mother-fuckin' Japan!?!?
FURANKU: Hai! I mean, yes! I go to Japan with Cat Brack to rescue woman I rove from Satanist Yakuza but they capture Cat! They kirr her! I take her to Japan... and it arr my fault!
Furanku broke down sobbing into his hands on the desk as the two Officers exchanged yet another confused look.
Officer Jones: This kid's crazy. Satanic Yakuza? We can't do shit if this happened in Japan!
Officer #16: Look boy, you better start giving us some REAL answers or you're gonna get booked for wasting Police time!
Furanku looked up at them, tears streaming, streaked with snot.
FURANKU: I am tell you the truth! Why won't you bereave me? put me to jail for getting Cat kill but you have to go after Reo Nakajima!
Officer Jones: Reo Nakajima? Isn't that the guy who runs the wrestling show around town?
Furanku nodded.
FURANKU: Yes! He nearly kill his daughter and he killed Cat! He doing magic satanic rituar to make himself young again rike Benjamin Button! I pretty sure he kill God Damn Grandpa too! He had team battre for IT and...
Officer #16: God Damn grandpa... where have I heard that name before? Hey- didn't that guy strangle himself to death in the tub?
Officer Jones: Pretty sure he did... this kid's story is all over the place.
FURANKU: And then Japanese Santa Craus, he come and he beat up everyone and...
Officer Jones: Japanese Santa Claus? Ok this kid's fuckin' fruit loops.
Officer #16: Taze him?
Officer Jones: Taze him.
Furanku came round in a filthy holding cell in the deepest part of the police station. He had flashbacks to his time in captivity over in Japan when the Red Dragon took him prisoner. He sat up on the hard fold-out bed, and looked around him. Everything was drab. The sink, the toilet, his cell-mate.
Oh! He had a cell-mate! Who was... sitting on the edge of his own bunk, rocking back and forth, staring at Furanku and grinning.
Clayton: Oh! Hey! you're up! I been waiting for you to wake up! Name's Clayton!
FURANKU: Oh... uh, my name Furanku.
Clayton stuck out a shaking hand. He seemed all-round skittish and hyperactive.
Clayton: Nice to meet you Frank! What're you in for?
FURANKU: I... I not sure any more. What about you?
Clayton: I'm in here because they're trying to keep me down, man! I know too much! So they throw me in here to try to break me! But guess what? It never works! Because I know too much!
FURANKU: You know too much? About... what?
Clayton: About the government! About the illuminati! About how it all works, man! How they're trying to keep people like you and me down!
FURANKU: Riberals?
Clayton: Everybody, man! They're trying to keep everybody down! If you know too much.... they get you!
FURANKU: So... what do you know?
Clayton: I know too much! I know they're trying to read my thoughts! They wanna use me for experiments! They took away my hat when I came in here! So they can read my brain waves! And try to hold me down!
Clayton laughed and scratched his head. Furanku felt uneasy.
FURANKU: So who is "they" that trying to read you brain waves?
Clayton: The government! They're full of illuminati, man! Illuminati jews! They go all the way to the top! All the way! They wanna start a war! Against the poor! The underpriveleged! It goes all the way to Donald Trump himself!
Furanku thought for a moment. He'd been pretty close to Donald Trump and never before had he said anything about trying to read brain-waves. It all sounded like the fabrication of a madman.
FURANKU: No it not. Donarudo Turumpu many things but he not irruminati jew, I know that much!
Clayton: He is, man! You never watch that TGK Documentary? He got hold of IT! IT holds all the secrets of the universe, man!
Furanku was bewildered. This guy watched TGK but didn't recognize the first Grand Champion sitting just feet away from him? It sounded to Furanku like this guy was so far out of his tree that he was just making up his own narrative to everything going on around him.
FURANKU: That not mind-reading device! It... it...
Furanku suddenly realized... he still didn't know what IT actually was... what would happen when IT was opened... except that if Reo got his hands on it, then the consequences would be dire.
FURANKU: I don't know...
Clayton: That's because they got to you man! They brainwashed you! Donald Trump got inside your mind!
FURANKU: That not true! You just talking crap!
Clayton held up his hands.
Clayton: Hey man I'm just telling it like it is! They're trying to control your brain waves! Trump's trying to turn everybody into mindless drones to be fed to the capitalist machine, man!
FURANKU: You crazy! I liberal man but even I know he not that crazy!
Clayton: Are you? Really? If you can't see what he's trying to do? Are you really against him? Or are you too far gone to see the truth?
FURANKU: I...
Furanku thought for a minute. What WAS he? He had turned Liberal after Trump had sided with Jeffrey Viper, he had been so pissed off and angry at Trump that he lashed out, turned his back on him, like a child rebelling against their parents.
FURANKU: I not too far gone! I not! You stop talking about Emperor rike that! He not trying to destroy America! He trying to make it great again!
Clayton: He's not, man! He's a bad dude!
FURANKU: No! He good man! Good American orange man! He stand for the common man! He purr himself up by him bootstraps with onry a mirrion dorrar to his name and rook at him now! He trying to make America be great and not a shithore rike Africa! And there onry one way to make America great again!
There was a curious noise heard in the distance... sorta like a faint whistling sound...
FURANKU: Emperor Turumpu not turn his back on me! I turn my back on HIM! And now I have to make amend! He not side with Jeffrey Viper because he think Viper better than me! Viper suck! Emperor onry side with him because I fail him and leave him no choice! So now I have to make it up to Emperor!
Clayton: You don't know what you're saying man! You're crazy man!
The noise in the distance grew louder, it began to sound more like an angry tea kettle brewing up.
FURANKU: No! I not crazy! YOU crazy! That you not see the damage being done to this country by stupid cuck riberals! They want to make other country great and America to fail! Because they jealous! Of American dream! America for REAR men who drive big truck and drink beer, not for men who drink decaff soy ratte and men who try to be rady! Rike Mad Dog Smith! And he got what I want!
Clayton: Come on, man! Don't be like them! Don't think like the 1%! Money isn't everything, man! All that glistens is not gold!
FURANKU: Gold exactly what I want! I here warrowing in self-pity because Cat came to Japan with me and got kill! When I should be worrying about patch rerationship with Emperor! And I do that by taking Mad Dog Smith title at Supremacy!
The tea-kettle whistle by now had become a piercing shriek that filled the air, and Furanku jumped up to his feet.
FURANKU: Mad Dog! Can you hear that! Can you hear the power of the Furankumaniacs! Can you feel the power of the Furankumaniacs! Because your reign of tyranny is at an end! No ronger will that great title be around your skinny waist after Supremacy!
Clayton: Who are you talking about, man! Who's Mad Dog!
FURANKU: Mad Dog the pussy-ass riberal who took MY title off of me! And now I have to get it back! To prove to Emperor that I am the man to read America into a grorious new age! To stop the rainbow wave from taking over this country! To protect Christian values from the satanic infruence of Reo Nakajima! To make this country a prace where people are PROUD to hang nuts from truck and own more guns than most armies! Because it American way! And American way is AMERICA FIRST! All men are created equal but AMERICAN man more equal than others! Fuck torerance! Fuck equarity! And fuck YOU Mad Dog Smith!
Clayton began to cower in fear at the noise grew deafening. A piercing shrill noise came from outside and the building began to shake. Suddenly, a mighty cry rang out, and the glorious American bald eagle screeched triumphantly! Firweorks exploded, and just like the walls of Jericho when the trumpets sounded, the eagle's call caused the wall to the cell to come crumbling down!
Clayton: Man, they'll fuck you so had for damaging government property! Just you wait! You'll see what they're capable of!
Furanku turned and looked at Clayton.
FURANKU: I not scared of government. I know somebody in a very high prace. And I not scared of Mad Dog Smith either. You watch TGK? Well watch Supremacy this sunday- and you see how I take back my Grand Championship of America And Only America Because Canada Not Good Enough To Be Called A Country! And then you see! Then you see the American dream come true. I gonna make amends on Sunday when I beat up Mad Dog once and for all. Then I gonna make amends in Battle For Everything. For Grandpa.
Furanku stepped through the hole in the wall and walked into the still-blazing pyrotechnic display as Clayton looked on in bewilderment.
Suddenly the key turned in the lock upon the cell door, and Officer #16 poked his head into the room.
Officer #16: Jesus fuck where the hell did all those fireworks come from?
Clayton: The Japanese guy! He did it! He called a bald eagle to blow up the wall!
Officer #16 rolled his eyes.
Officer #16: Riiiiiight. And I'm the fuckin' Easter Bunny. Come on you, get your ass in the chair. We're gonna get those secrets out of your brain one way or another.
~FIN~