Post by Technical Perfection on Jan 30, 2018 17:18:57 GMT -5
A bouncing club in So Cal. On the fringes of the dancefloor two Polynesian gentlemen, one ripped to shreds, more muscles than a pickup truck. The other more girth than a Mack. The shall we say rotund man turns to his more defined compadre and opens up a conversation.
Big Chris: Taane, my uso! Sweet you got here.
Taane: Big Chris, brah! Man, I live for this shit. Got the club all bouncing, s’all gon’ get hype up in here. Needs a little something but it’s cool.
Big Chris: Could that something be… shots? I gots me a hotline to that fine barmaid up over there. Get a little something something down your throat. Smooth into the evenin’.
Taane: Chris. You know I don’t touch the ava, brah. Shit’ll rot your mind. Gives you the balls to start a damn fight. Don’t give you the brains to finish it. Besides, I gotta keep a clear brain pan. I got me a proper damn fight I’m training for. Don’t need to be getting into a mess with the hard stuff before I hit the gym tomorrow. Or with the leoleo.
Big Chris: Man, you wouldn’t go quiet into the back of a van. You’d be cracking skulls left…. Bam! And right… Boom! I can see you grabbing one of their damn big boys toys and crushing in under yo’ damn feet before they haul you off.
Taane: I don’t play wit’ guns Chris. And you know my tama’s background. Don’t joke about the police.
Big Chris [sarcastically]: Well sorry Mr. Clean Living.
Taane: I ain’t about to go pissing off the authorities before I make a big wrestling debut. And I ain’t about to go pissing off my father. Because that would be foolish. But hey. If I do end up spending tonight in a cell care of Officer Bababiba, I’ll use my one phone call to make sure they all know it was your fault, K?
Big Chris: ...K. Told. No need to lay in the threat so fierce, man.
Taane: Ah, you’d be cool. I think my daddy actually likes you. Though he wants to see you get your ass down to the gym and get training like you keep promising.
Big Chris: Why do I need training? I’m, like, totally perfect as it is.
Taane: Big Chris, whenever you get in shit, you can be glad you got me backing you the hell up. You can change that. I ain’t gonna be able to have your back every time you step out of line.
Big Chris: Just don’t forget T.
[pause]
Taane: Forget what?
Big Chris: Y’all are huge on where you came from. Half Samoan. Half Maori. Second generation badass.
Taane: S’all true.
Big Chris: But you’re Cali. As much as we rep for our ancestors, brah… you’re four-oh-eight.
Taane: For life.
Big Chris: For life. Now you go talk to the DJ and get this party turnt. I’m gonna mack on that fox at the bar again.
Taane: I’m gonna go ask for some Freaks for this party. Then Imma check your face for the slap mark.
The pair separate…
~~
CHOOO-HOOOO! What up Combat Wrestling? Bring out your jandals, wrap on your lavalava because your boy Taane is here. And on this momentous debut week for this new promotion y’all get to watch me, The Polynesian Prodigy, fight through not one but two opponents to fire this whole set up off with a bang. And that bang is gonna be me throwing bombs around like it was going out of damn style.
See I ain’t trained to take prisoners. I ain’t trained to hold back. Day one, match one, hit hard, hit fast, hit plenty. Satoshi Tenryu? HardKore? Listen for that bass drop because we about to dance! I ain’t the most experienced dog in the damn fight but sure as the tattoos on my daddy’s face, I got the best pedigree.
See, for those who don’t know, I got brought up in the industry. I got a name to protect. I got heritage to represent. Not just my heritage of being from a warrior people. Heritage of my own damn family. And that can means one of two things. Either it weighs me down like a damn millstone around my neck or it lifts me up to heights that normal mortal men cannot reach.
Go call Ranginui. This ‘Nesian is being lifted high enough to fly. And not just metaphorically, neither.
See I got agility. I got hops like you would not believe. I’m as at home on the air as I am on the mat. And you ain’t ever gonna see it coming. I’m too fast. I’m too fast, man. You can’t cope. You can not physically cope with what I’m bringing. I’m like a bullet that you can’t see the shooter. Prepare to eat dirt because I am putting you down.
But I ain’t all about the flight. I got skills. I learned to box. I throw jabs. I throw crosses. I throw hooks. I ain’t scared of going toe to toe in a scrap, man. You don’t win wars without bombs and you don’t win a damn thing inside the wrestling ring without throwing them. You prepared to get punched upside your damn head? Not by this boy.
And the power. Feel the damn power. I throw up weights like they were paperweights. I shift the heavy stuff around like it was nothing. Nothing. I don’t care how big you are, where you damn well come from, how many KFC Double Down burgers you’ve stuffed down your throat that evening, I am hauling your damn carcass off the mat and tossing you around like you were fresh out of diapers last weekend.
So let me tell you how it’s gonna go down. Satoshi Tenryu. The hard hitting master of the martial arts. The “Heavenly Dragon,” shit yeah I bothered to look up what your name means. Tenryu, you are gonna come out with your kicks and your punches and your Strong Style theory. You’re gonna punch me until your knuckles bleed. And I am gonna turn to you, I am gonna smile and I’m gonna say three words.
“Headbutt me, boss.”
See I can take what you’re offering. I always got told about Strong Style. Yeah I’ve watched the tapes too. I’ve even watched some of yours before I had to put the time in to learn you. So we’re going to fight like men, like the warriors that came before us, like the warriors we are. Toukon. Fighting Spirit. That’s what they call it. Well I’m made of Fighting Spirit. You could distill my body and get drinkable Fighting Spirit at the end. And if you got trained in Strong Style, well I got trained in the other guys. Less grind you down and more drop you on your head and knock you the hell out. You may know it as Oudou. Those in the west call it… The Kings’ Road. Yeah. I went there, Strong Style-sama.
HardKore? You know what they always told me. Beware the silly ones. You’re a bit out there, a bit strange, a bit loopy. But that ain’t what HardKore’s about, right? If they took all the rules away, took all the niceties out of what makes a match and just let us go, you’d be right in your damn element. You’re a not a wrestler, you’re a fighter. You win brawls. You drop into the depths of where humanity fears to tread and you do it with the broadest smile.
Cool.
Nah, I really dig that attitude. If a man can smile while he’s clubbing your brain out, he’s got more going for him than against. Some time, some place they’re gonna strip the rules away and we’re gonna smack the ever loving shit out of each other. This ain’t the time and it ain’t the place. But what I am guaran-damn-teeing is that we are gonna have an intense brawl. Time will come when you’ll wrap a steel chair upside my head and I’ll make you bleed with the point of my taiaha. But this week fans are gonna have to be happy with the pair of us smacking the shit out of each other unarmed.
So it’s gonna be like this. Son of a Saint? Favored Son of Japan? Meet the Son Of The Maori Badass. It’s gonna be violent. It’s gonna be messy. It’s gonna be a knock down, drag out brawl for the ages. We’re not gonna make our commissioner proud, we’re gonna make him jealous that he’s not down there mixing it up with us.
Satoshi? You ready? HardKore? You ready?
Because I was born ready.
B.T. Motherfuckin’ D.T.
Big Chris: Taane, my uso! Sweet you got here.
Taane: Big Chris, brah! Man, I live for this shit. Got the club all bouncing, s’all gon’ get hype up in here. Needs a little something but it’s cool.
Big Chris: Could that something be… shots? I gots me a hotline to that fine barmaid up over there. Get a little something something down your throat. Smooth into the evenin’.
Taane: Chris. You know I don’t touch the ava, brah. Shit’ll rot your mind. Gives you the balls to start a damn fight. Don’t give you the brains to finish it. Besides, I gotta keep a clear brain pan. I got me a proper damn fight I’m training for. Don’t need to be getting into a mess with the hard stuff before I hit the gym tomorrow. Or with the leoleo.
Big Chris: Man, you wouldn’t go quiet into the back of a van. You’d be cracking skulls left…. Bam! And right… Boom! I can see you grabbing one of their damn big boys toys and crushing in under yo’ damn feet before they haul you off.
Taane: I don’t play wit’ guns Chris. And you know my tama’s background. Don’t joke about the police.
Big Chris [sarcastically]: Well sorry Mr. Clean Living.
Taane: I ain’t about to go pissing off the authorities before I make a big wrestling debut. And I ain’t about to go pissing off my father. Because that would be foolish. But hey. If I do end up spending tonight in a cell care of Officer Bababiba, I’ll use my one phone call to make sure they all know it was your fault, K?
Big Chris: ...K. Told. No need to lay in the threat so fierce, man.
Taane: Ah, you’d be cool. I think my daddy actually likes you. Though he wants to see you get your ass down to the gym and get training like you keep promising.
Big Chris: Why do I need training? I’m, like, totally perfect as it is.
Taane: Big Chris, whenever you get in shit, you can be glad you got me backing you the hell up. You can change that. I ain’t gonna be able to have your back every time you step out of line.
Big Chris: Just don’t forget T.
[pause]
Taane: Forget what?
Big Chris: Y’all are huge on where you came from. Half Samoan. Half Maori. Second generation badass.
Taane: S’all true.
Big Chris: But you’re Cali. As much as we rep for our ancestors, brah… you’re four-oh-eight.
Taane: For life.
Big Chris: For life. Now you go talk to the DJ and get this party turnt. I’m gonna mack on that fox at the bar again.
Taane: I’m gonna go ask for some Freaks for this party. Then Imma check your face for the slap mark.
The pair separate…
~~
CHOOO-HOOOO! What up Combat Wrestling? Bring out your jandals, wrap on your lavalava because your boy Taane is here. And on this momentous debut week for this new promotion y’all get to watch me, The Polynesian Prodigy, fight through not one but two opponents to fire this whole set up off with a bang. And that bang is gonna be me throwing bombs around like it was going out of damn style.
See I ain’t trained to take prisoners. I ain’t trained to hold back. Day one, match one, hit hard, hit fast, hit plenty. Satoshi Tenryu? HardKore? Listen for that bass drop because we about to dance! I ain’t the most experienced dog in the damn fight but sure as the tattoos on my daddy’s face, I got the best pedigree.
See, for those who don’t know, I got brought up in the industry. I got a name to protect. I got heritage to represent. Not just my heritage of being from a warrior people. Heritage of my own damn family. And that can means one of two things. Either it weighs me down like a damn millstone around my neck or it lifts me up to heights that normal mortal men cannot reach.
Go call Ranginui. This ‘Nesian is being lifted high enough to fly. And not just metaphorically, neither.
See I got agility. I got hops like you would not believe. I’m as at home on the air as I am on the mat. And you ain’t ever gonna see it coming. I’m too fast. I’m too fast, man. You can’t cope. You can not physically cope with what I’m bringing. I’m like a bullet that you can’t see the shooter. Prepare to eat dirt because I am putting you down.
But I ain’t all about the flight. I got skills. I learned to box. I throw jabs. I throw crosses. I throw hooks. I ain’t scared of going toe to toe in a scrap, man. You don’t win wars without bombs and you don’t win a damn thing inside the wrestling ring without throwing them. You prepared to get punched upside your damn head? Not by this boy.
And the power. Feel the damn power. I throw up weights like they were paperweights. I shift the heavy stuff around like it was nothing. Nothing. I don’t care how big you are, where you damn well come from, how many KFC Double Down burgers you’ve stuffed down your throat that evening, I am hauling your damn carcass off the mat and tossing you around like you were fresh out of diapers last weekend.
So let me tell you how it’s gonna go down. Satoshi Tenryu. The hard hitting master of the martial arts. The “Heavenly Dragon,” shit yeah I bothered to look up what your name means. Tenryu, you are gonna come out with your kicks and your punches and your Strong Style theory. You’re gonna punch me until your knuckles bleed. And I am gonna turn to you, I am gonna smile and I’m gonna say three words.
“Headbutt me, boss.”
See I can take what you’re offering. I always got told about Strong Style. Yeah I’ve watched the tapes too. I’ve even watched some of yours before I had to put the time in to learn you. So we’re going to fight like men, like the warriors that came before us, like the warriors we are. Toukon. Fighting Spirit. That’s what they call it. Well I’m made of Fighting Spirit. You could distill my body and get drinkable Fighting Spirit at the end. And if you got trained in Strong Style, well I got trained in the other guys. Less grind you down and more drop you on your head and knock you the hell out. You may know it as Oudou. Those in the west call it… The Kings’ Road. Yeah. I went there, Strong Style-sama.
HardKore? You know what they always told me. Beware the silly ones. You’re a bit out there, a bit strange, a bit loopy. But that ain’t what HardKore’s about, right? If they took all the rules away, took all the niceties out of what makes a match and just let us go, you’d be right in your damn element. You’re a not a wrestler, you’re a fighter. You win brawls. You drop into the depths of where humanity fears to tread and you do it with the broadest smile.
Cool.
Nah, I really dig that attitude. If a man can smile while he’s clubbing your brain out, he’s got more going for him than against. Some time, some place they’re gonna strip the rules away and we’re gonna smack the ever loving shit out of each other. This ain’t the time and it ain’t the place. But what I am guaran-damn-teeing is that we are gonna have an intense brawl. Time will come when you’ll wrap a steel chair upside my head and I’ll make you bleed with the point of my taiaha. But this week fans are gonna have to be happy with the pair of us smacking the shit out of each other unarmed.
So it’s gonna be like this. Son of a Saint? Favored Son of Japan? Meet the Son Of The Maori Badass. It’s gonna be violent. It’s gonna be messy. It’s gonna be a knock down, drag out brawl for the ages. We’re not gonna make our commissioner proud, we’re gonna make him jealous that he’s not down there mixing it up with us.
Satoshi? You ready? HardKore? You ready?
Because I was born ready.
B.T. Motherfuckin’ D.T.
