Post by Caitlyn Wright on Feb 1, 2018 3:29:08 GMT -5
A webcam clicks on, revealing a young woman sitting cross-legged on a bed in what appears to be a fairly-cramped bedroom. The walls are plastered with posters, with everything from Code Geass to Dynasty Warriors getting a turn in the sun. The young woman herself is currently wearing a pair of sweatpants and a Spider-Gwen hoodie, along with a grin on her face a mile wide. She leans forward, speaking up with an excited tremor in her voice. "Greetings, programs! My name's Caitlyn Wright—follow me on Twitter @onamoonlitwalk and on Twitch at DropkickAce—and THIS is the first of, hopefully, many entries in my new vlog series, called..."
She pauses, blinking, and shakes her head. "Alright, I'm gonna be real with you: I have no idea what I'm going to call it. I'm taking suggestions, though! At me on Twitter, post comments on the video, hell, e-mail me at dropkickace@gmail.com and let me know. What should the series be called? I'm serious, folks. Crowdsourcing's worked for me in the past. But that, that can wait for a bit. Time to get down to the gettin' down."
Caitlyn cracks her knuckles, drumming on her thighs as she hums a brief fanfare. "Friday night! February 2nd! Combat Wrestling presents Friday Night Fury, for the first time EVER on the XHF Network! And, on that first-ever HISTORIC broadcast, yours truly is in tag team action, live and in color, teaming up with the Iron Maiden herself, Dawn Halliwell against...well, one of the most decorated and renowned competitors in a long, long time and her best friend. So no pressure, hey?"
She shakes her head, sighing. "To be honest, I've always kind of dreamed and had nightmares about this. I spent a lot of time getting called the poor woman's Zelda Knite. Four years on the independent circuit, hauling my ass all up and down the East Coast, and it felt like that's all I ever heard. Not 'hey, nice match!' or 'I really liked your promo tonight', just 'you know someone else did the whole geek girl thing first, right?' It felt like getting a series I've read for years mansplained to me."
Caitlyn shakes her head, forcing herself to perk up again. "But you know what? I'm looking forward to this. I'm looking forward to the chance to step into the ring with someone who's done as much and seen as much as you have, Zelda. 'cause no matter what anyone else says, you're a pioneer. You were the first Starlets Champion, you set the standard for women's wrestling in NCW so high that nobody else managed to clear it. I remember being fifteen years old, sitting in my living room watching Collision with stars in my eyes. There was this girl, and she liked the things I liked, and she kicked ass, and she was so cool! Like...I wanted to do what you did, Zelda. I wanted the chance to be on that stage with you. You were kind of my hero."
Caitlyn blushes a bit admitting that last part, but then shakes her head, sighing. "...but I don't know. I just...I haven't heard much from you lately. It seems like you just fell off the radar and liked it there. You've resigned yourself to playing cheerleader. You! Zelda friggin' Knite! That's not right. It just..." She looks to the ceiling, twiddling her thumbs, before an idea lights behind her eyes and she snaps her fingers, looking to the camera. "That's like buying a Metroid game and expecting the same classic Metroidvania exploration we've come to know and love, but instead getting a wangsty character assassination that reduces our skilled and capable female protagonist to a paper-thin emotional wreck whose entire existence seems to revolve around an emotionally abusive and neglectful father figure and is a clear and failed attempt to derail a character just to appeal to the fetishists in the Japanese audience, OTHER M."
Caitlyn glares at the camera, hate in her eyes, but it fades after a few seconds, replaced by embarrassment and a quick cough. "Ahem. But the point stands. This isn't you. This isn't who you're supposed to be. It's like you've been reduced to a cheap way for others to try to become popular based on your previous popularity. You're Snake shilling Raiden. You're Saurfang shilling Garrosh. You're Gwen Stacy's ghost shilling Carlie Cooper." Caitlyn's voice has been steadily rising in volume, and she leans forward, planting her fists on the bed as she addresses the camera with over-the-top bombast. "And that, as we should all know, is where we cross the line! It's all right there in front of our eyes! A dyed in the wool conspiracy! Can you smell the bullcrap?! WAKE UP, AMERICA!"
At this point, Caitlyn becomes acutely aware of herself once more, and rocks back to a seated position, coughing and looking around nervously. It's a long, awkward few seconds before she continues. "...right, and speaking of Garrosh Hellscream herself, we've got Crystal Hilton. Millar? Whatever you're going with this week. See, unlike Zelda, I never got the hype. Sure, you're flippy, and that's super-cool, but...you're boring." Caitlyn shrugs. "At least Zelda had interests I could understand. You're a movie star and a model and a wrestler, and you just...I dunno, is it fair to say I never really cared about someone's life in the way that people wanted me to? You've been successful, sure, but you've never really...seized the spotlight."
Caitlyn cracks a grin. "And that's kind of ironic, considering your whole thing is hogging the limelight. That's why you've been dragging poor Zelda out all these years, praying that people still love her enough that they'll think you're cool too. But here's the thing, Crystal: I've seen the look in her eyes. Zelda's got to be tired of carrying your ass to relevance all these years later." Caitlyn winces, shaking her head and taking a deep breath. "God, that hurt to say, but it's the gods-honest truth. You're boring as hell, Crystal, and no amount of multiclassing can convince me otherwise. See, little girls can grow up to be Zelda Knite. That's something that they could actually achieve. Who the hell grows up to be the kind of Kardashian mutant celebutante hybrid you've become? Nobody." She shrugs. "Sorry."
"Like, I guess I'm mostly upset because of all the things Zelda could have done, she decided to waste it on you." Caitlyn shakes her head. "It's like watching one of your heroes show up hawking a used car dealership, you know? You see someone you really believed in put themselves behind something that just...lifts the curtain." She twirls a lock of hair around her finger, shaking her head. "And maybe I should be more upset with you, Zelda. You're a big girl. You can choose to do whatever the hell you want with your life. But, like...I don't know. Part of me is hoping I'll see the Zelda of old in the ring. Part of me is praying that I'll see my hero come to life one more time."
Caitlyn pauses, her voice turning serious again, and this time it seems like it might be warranted. "But if all I get is the same glassy-eyed accessory that Crystal's been dragging around all this time, I promise that I'll do whatever it takes to raise my hero from the dead. Knites work like Saiyans, right? Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger? I mean, you spent enough time around Trent Helms, it might work." Caitlyn shrugs, looking up at the camera and cocking her head to the side. "We'll see."
"Point is..." Caitlyn squares back up on the bed again. "Ever since I got pulled out of the crowd for an open challenge all those years ago, I've been waiting for an opportunity to do what I love on a big stage. This is the biggest chance I've ever had. You two, you've headlined pay-per-views, you've wrestled in front of tens of thousands of people...hell, even Dawn has. Me? I should be nervous. I should be trembling myself to pieces. But right now..." Caitlyn reaches up and underneath the hood of her hoodie, pulling a pair of goggles down over her eyes. She lets them settle in with a grin on her face. "I am a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar. See you Friday, kids."
With that, Caitlyn leans forward, shutting off the camera as our video abruptly comes to an end.
As Caitlyn leans back from the camera, she looks behind it to where her friend Sun is sitting. Sun, a young Korean woman with a pixie cut and an unimpressed expression on her face, merely cocks an eyebrow in response. "What? Was it that bad?" Caitlyn's nerves suddenly begin to show, masked on camera but fully on display in the relative privacy of the bedroom.
Sun shakes her head, sighing. "Look, I just think you spent enough time blowing Zelda Knite that she at least owes you dinner first." She picks up an e-cig from a nearby shelf, taking a drag and exhaling a cloud of vapor. "But that's just me."
"SUN!" Caitlyn seems utterly scandalized by the comment, standing up from the bed with a start. "I wasn't doing anything like that! I was just giving respect where it's due!"
"Were ya?" Sun cocks an eyebrow, taking another drag from the e-cig. "Because from where I was sitting, it sounded like you were begging her to give it to you. You sounded otaku desperate there, girl. And I mean, like...body pillow in a college class bad." She shakes her head sadly, setting down the e-cig as Caitlyn's face suddenly becomes overcome with a look of sheer horror.
Caitlyn groans, turning and flopping into her mattress. Her groan is muffled by the sheets, but she rolls on her side, ensuring it's loud and clear for the world. "Uuuugh...I should refilm that, shouldn't I? There's no way I can let that go out. It'll make me look like a desperate fangirl and a loser if I don't."
"Pretty sure if you didn't disclose being a fangirl, they could sue for false advertising." Sun remarks, pulling out her phone to check it. "Besides, the more you think about it, the more you'll psych yourself out into being a nervous wreck. Sad as it sounds, this might've been our best bet for a usable take."
Caitlyn opens her mouth to protest, but a pointed glare from Sun silences her. She settles for pouting for a few seconds before pulling off the Spider-Gwen hoodie, revealing a faded tanktop that reads "HEY! LISTEN!" underneath. Caitlyn flops back-first onto the bed, staring at the ceiling as she muses, half to herself and half to Sun. "You ever stop and ask yourself if what you're doing is the right call? Question your path in life?"
"Nope." Sun doesn't even look up from her phone as she replies, casual and calm.
"No?" Caitlyn blinks, furrowing her brows. "You never have one of those days where you sit down and you try to do something and you can't do anything and you hate what you're doing and you check your e-mail and you wonder if you ever had any talent at all and maybe you should've been a plumber? Don't you have days like that?" By the end, Caitlyn's cadence has accelerated to the edge of babbling, and she pauses, waiting expectantly for a response.
"Two things." Sun holds up her index finger. "First, you've been watching that Stephen King/George R.R. Martin video again, and I told you it's not going to help you any if you quote it. Two." She raises her middle finger, leaving two fingers extended. "You shouldn't either. Girl, you've been getting paid for five years to do this shit. You're gonna have to start believing in yourself sometime. Now isn't a bad choice." Sun pauses for a moment before continuing. "Besides, if you don't start believing in you, you're going to make me look like an idiot believing in you all by myself."
Caitlyn sits up from the bed, running over and hugging Sun tight, practically squealing with joy. Sun's facial expression is one of exasperation, but she returns the hug. After a few seconds, Caitlyn bounces back, grinning, and sits on the bed again. Sun pauses, smirking as she looks over at Caitlyn. "...even if you DID sound like you wanted the V so badly there from Zelda." Caitlyn's expression goes from happiness to shock in a heartbeat, and Sun cracks up laughing, shaking her head. "Oh God, that was priceless! I wish I'd taken a picture!" Caitlyn growls, and she grabs a pillow, winging it at Sun's head.
Sun catches the pillow, still laughing, and throws it back at Caitlyn, who dodges. The two women lock eyes for a brief moment, and that moment of unspoken communication is all it takes to send both of them scrambling, as a pillow fight erupts in the cramped confines of the previously tranquil bedroom. We end on the image of two grown women flinging pillows at each other, laughing like they're twelve years old again and nothing else matters.
She pauses, blinking, and shakes her head. "Alright, I'm gonna be real with you: I have no idea what I'm going to call it. I'm taking suggestions, though! At me on Twitter, post comments on the video, hell, e-mail me at dropkickace@gmail.com and let me know. What should the series be called? I'm serious, folks. Crowdsourcing's worked for me in the past. But that, that can wait for a bit. Time to get down to the gettin' down."
Caitlyn cracks her knuckles, drumming on her thighs as she hums a brief fanfare. "Friday night! February 2nd! Combat Wrestling presents Friday Night Fury, for the first time EVER on the XHF Network! And, on that first-ever HISTORIC broadcast, yours truly is in tag team action, live and in color, teaming up with the Iron Maiden herself, Dawn Halliwell against...well, one of the most decorated and renowned competitors in a long, long time and her best friend. So no pressure, hey?"
She shakes her head, sighing. "To be honest, I've always kind of dreamed and had nightmares about this. I spent a lot of time getting called the poor woman's Zelda Knite. Four years on the independent circuit, hauling my ass all up and down the East Coast, and it felt like that's all I ever heard. Not 'hey, nice match!' or 'I really liked your promo tonight', just 'you know someone else did the whole geek girl thing first, right?' It felt like getting a series I've read for years mansplained to me."
Caitlyn shakes her head, forcing herself to perk up again. "But you know what? I'm looking forward to this. I'm looking forward to the chance to step into the ring with someone who's done as much and seen as much as you have, Zelda. 'cause no matter what anyone else says, you're a pioneer. You were the first Starlets Champion, you set the standard for women's wrestling in NCW so high that nobody else managed to clear it. I remember being fifteen years old, sitting in my living room watching Collision with stars in my eyes. There was this girl, and she liked the things I liked, and she kicked ass, and she was so cool! Like...I wanted to do what you did, Zelda. I wanted the chance to be on that stage with you. You were kind of my hero."
Caitlyn blushes a bit admitting that last part, but then shakes her head, sighing. "...but I don't know. I just...I haven't heard much from you lately. It seems like you just fell off the radar and liked it there. You've resigned yourself to playing cheerleader. You! Zelda friggin' Knite! That's not right. It just..." She looks to the ceiling, twiddling her thumbs, before an idea lights behind her eyes and she snaps her fingers, looking to the camera. "That's like buying a Metroid game and expecting the same classic Metroidvania exploration we've come to know and love, but instead getting a wangsty character assassination that reduces our skilled and capable female protagonist to a paper-thin emotional wreck whose entire existence seems to revolve around an emotionally abusive and neglectful father figure and is a clear and failed attempt to derail a character just to appeal to the fetishists in the Japanese audience, OTHER M."
Caitlyn glares at the camera, hate in her eyes, but it fades after a few seconds, replaced by embarrassment and a quick cough. "Ahem. But the point stands. This isn't you. This isn't who you're supposed to be. It's like you've been reduced to a cheap way for others to try to become popular based on your previous popularity. You're Snake shilling Raiden. You're Saurfang shilling Garrosh. You're Gwen Stacy's ghost shilling Carlie Cooper." Caitlyn's voice has been steadily rising in volume, and she leans forward, planting her fists on the bed as she addresses the camera with over-the-top bombast. "And that, as we should all know, is where we cross the line! It's all right there in front of our eyes! A dyed in the wool conspiracy! Can you smell the bullcrap?! WAKE UP, AMERICA!"
At this point, Caitlyn becomes acutely aware of herself once more, and rocks back to a seated position, coughing and looking around nervously. It's a long, awkward few seconds before she continues. "...right, and speaking of Garrosh Hellscream herself, we've got Crystal Hilton. Millar? Whatever you're going with this week. See, unlike Zelda, I never got the hype. Sure, you're flippy, and that's super-cool, but...you're boring." Caitlyn shrugs. "At least Zelda had interests I could understand. You're a movie star and a model and a wrestler, and you just...I dunno, is it fair to say I never really cared about someone's life in the way that people wanted me to? You've been successful, sure, but you've never really...seized the spotlight."
Caitlyn cracks a grin. "And that's kind of ironic, considering your whole thing is hogging the limelight. That's why you've been dragging poor Zelda out all these years, praying that people still love her enough that they'll think you're cool too. But here's the thing, Crystal: I've seen the look in her eyes. Zelda's got to be tired of carrying your ass to relevance all these years later." Caitlyn winces, shaking her head and taking a deep breath. "God, that hurt to say, but it's the gods-honest truth. You're boring as hell, Crystal, and no amount of multiclassing can convince me otherwise. See, little girls can grow up to be Zelda Knite. That's something that they could actually achieve. Who the hell grows up to be the kind of Kardashian mutant celebutante hybrid you've become? Nobody." She shrugs. "Sorry."
"Like, I guess I'm mostly upset because of all the things Zelda could have done, she decided to waste it on you." Caitlyn shakes her head. "It's like watching one of your heroes show up hawking a used car dealership, you know? You see someone you really believed in put themselves behind something that just...lifts the curtain." She twirls a lock of hair around her finger, shaking her head. "And maybe I should be more upset with you, Zelda. You're a big girl. You can choose to do whatever the hell you want with your life. But, like...I don't know. Part of me is hoping I'll see the Zelda of old in the ring. Part of me is praying that I'll see my hero come to life one more time."
Caitlyn pauses, her voice turning serious again, and this time it seems like it might be warranted. "But if all I get is the same glassy-eyed accessory that Crystal's been dragging around all this time, I promise that I'll do whatever it takes to raise my hero from the dead. Knites work like Saiyans, right? Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger? I mean, you spent enough time around Trent Helms, it might work." Caitlyn shrugs, looking up at the camera and cocking her head to the side. "We'll see."
"Point is..." Caitlyn squares back up on the bed again. "Ever since I got pulled out of the crowd for an open challenge all those years ago, I've been waiting for an opportunity to do what I love on a big stage. This is the biggest chance I've ever had. You two, you've headlined pay-per-views, you've wrestled in front of tens of thousands of people...hell, even Dawn has. Me? I should be nervous. I should be trembling myself to pieces. But right now..." Caitlyn reaches up and underneath the hood of her hoodie, pulling a pair of goggles down over her eyes. She lets them settle in with a grin on her face. "I am a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar. See you Friday, kids."
With that, Caitlyn leans forward, shutting off the camera as our video abruptly comes to an end.
As Caitlyn leans back from the camera, she looks behind it to where her friend Sun is sitting. Sun, a young Korean woman with a pixie cut and an unimpressed expression on her face, merely cocks an eyebrow in response. "What? Was it that bad?" Caitlyn's nerves suddenly begin to show, masked on camera but fully on display in the relative privacy of the bedroom.
Sun shakes her head, sighing. "Look, I just think you spent enough time blowing Zelda Knite that she at least owes you dinner first." She picks up an e-cig from a nearby shelf, taking a drag and exhaling a cloud of vapor. "But that's just me."
"SUN!" Caitlyn seems utterly scandalized by the comment, standing up from the bed with a start. "I wasn't doing anything like that! I was just giving respect where it's due!"
"Were ya?" Sun cocks an eyebrow, taking another drag from the e-cig. "Because from where I was sitting, it sounded like you were begging her to give it to you. You sounded otaku desperate there, girl. And I mean, like...body pillow in a college class bad." She shakes her head sadly, setting down the e-cig as Caitlyn's face suddenly becomes overcome with a look of sheer horror.
Caitlyn groans, turning and flopping into her mattress. Her groan is muffled by the sheets, but she rolls on her side, ensuring it's loud and clear for the world. "Uuuugh...I should refilm that, shouldn't I? There's no way I can let that go out. It'll make me look like a desperate fangirl and a loser if I don't."
"Pretty sure if you didn't disclose being a fangirl, they could sue for false advertising." Sun remarks, pulling out her phone to check it. "Besides, the more you think about it, the more you'll psych yourself out into being a nervous wreck. Sad as it sounds, this might've been our best bet for a usable take."
Caitlyn opens her mouth to protest, but a pointed glare from Sun silences her. She settles for pouting for a few seconds before pulling off the Spider-Gwen hoodie, revealing a faded tanktop that reads "HEY! LISTEN!" underneath. Caitlyn flops back-first onto the bed, staring at the ceiling as she muses, half to herself and half to Sun. "You ever stop and ask yourself if what you're doing is the right call? Question your path in life?"
"Nope." Sun doesn't even look up from her phone as she replies, casual and calm.
"No?" Caitlyn blinks, furrowing her brows. "You never have one of those days where you sit down and you try to do something and you can't do anything and you hate what you're doing and you check your e-mail and you wonder if you ever had any talent at all and maybe you should've been a plumber? Don't you have days like that?" By the end, Caitlyn's cadence has accelerated to the edge of babbling, and she pauses, waiting expectantly for a response.
"Two things." Sun holds up her index finger. "First, you've been watching that Stephen King/George R.R. Martin video again, and I told you it's not going to help you any if you quote it. Two." She raises her middle finger, leaving two fingers extended. "You shouldn't either. Girl, you've been getting paid for five years to do this shit. You're gonna have to start believing in yourself sometime. Now isn't a bad choice." Sun pauses for a moment before continuing. "Besides, if you don't start believing in you, you're going to make me look like an idiot believing in you all by myself."
Caitlyn sits up from the bed, running over and hugging Sun tight, practically squealing with joy. Sun's facial expression is one of exasperation, but she returns the hug. After a few seconds, Caitlyn bounces back, grinning, and sits on the bed again. Sun pauses, smirking as she looks over at Caitlyn. "...even if you DID sound like you wanted the V so badly there from Zelda." Caitlyn's expression goes from happiness to shock in a heartbeat, and Sun cracks up laughing, shaking her head. "Oh God, that was priceless! I wish I'd taken a picture!" Caitlyn growls, and she grabs a pillow, winging it at Sun's head.
Sun catches the pillow, still laughing, and throws it back at Caitlyn, who dodges. The two women lock eyes for a brief moment, and that moment of unspoken communication is all it takes to send both of them scrambling, as a pillow fight erupts in the cramped confines of the previously tranquil bedroom. We end on the image of two grown women flinging pillows at each other, laughing like they're twelve years old again and nothing else matters.