Post by Dackle on Feb 1, 2018 20:57:40 GMT -5
The camera shows a beautiful day. The sun is shining. Children are playing as their parents stand around laughing and joking. The camera pans to Bruce McClain, donning an American Flag apron behind a grill, cooking burgers and hot dogs. He smashes the spatula into a burger. The grease sizzles. McClain looks up.
“Hey, didn’t see ya there. My name is Bruce McClain. We are here on the family farm, and I am having a barbecue for the family.”
He smashes two more burgers into the grill.
“It is a beautiful day here in the land of the free, and the home of the brave. Even though I wrestle in Russia, a fine country, I want to remind everyone of who I am.
Ya see, I am an American. I enjoy my football. I love a good ice cold Budweiser, an American beer. I love me some fireworks on the Fourth of July, and think there is nothing better than a big ol’ slice of Grandma’s homemade Apple pie.”
He flips a burger. It does three full rotations before landing flat on the grill.
“While my cousin is a true American patriot, I am a true American. I believe in the God given rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. One of the reasons I chose the FWA was that everyone is given the opportunity to pursue those things, freely, and openly.”
He does another triple flip with a burger, before calling out to the masses “Who wants cheese?” A few hands go up. He grabs a hunk of slices and tosses them rapidly onto the grill. Each one lands perfectly on the desired burger.
“So to whoever my opponent is for the next show, I wish you good luck. To my fans, I make this promise. As long as the crack in the liberty bell echoes that sweet sound of freedom, as long as Lady Liberty stands in New York, welcoming the masses, and as long as Ol’ Glory waves majestically in the God given wind, I will give you athletic, wholesome, family friendly entertainment. I will give you wrestling how it is meant to me, fun for the whole family. These colors don’t run, and neither will I from any challenge placed before me.”
He hurls a burger into the air and catches it with the bun. He hollers out burgers are done as several parents and children come running with paper plates in hand. As he serves the burgers, a Bald Eagle lands on his shoulder. McClain feeds it a hot dog, and addresses the camera one last time.
“God bless this country, these people, and the FWA. Yippie Kai Yay.”
He finishes serving the people as the squaw from the Eagle ends the segment.
“Hey, didn’t see ya there. My name is Bruce McClain. We are here on the family farm, and I am having a barbecue for the family.”
He smashes two more burgers into the grill.
“It is a beautiful day here in the land of the free, and the home of the brave. Even though I wrestle in Russia, a fine country, I want to remind everyone of who I am.
Ya see, I am an American. I enjoy my football. I love a good ice cold Budweiser, an American beer. I love me some fireworks on the Fourth of July, and think there is nothing better than a big ol’ slice of Grandma’s homemade Apple pie.”
He flips a burger. It does three full rotations before landing flat on the grill.
“While my cousin is a true American patriot, I am a true American. I believe in the God given rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. One of the reasons I chose the FWA was that everyone is given the opportunity to pursue those things, freely, and openly.”
He does another triple flip with a burger, before calling out to the masses “Who wants cheese?” A few hands go up. He grabs a hunk of slices and tosses them rapidly onto the grill. Each one lands perfectly on the desired burger.
“So to whoever my opponent is for the next show, I wish you good luck. To my fans, I make this promise. As long as the crack in the liberty bell echoes that sweet sound of freedom, as long as Lady Liberty stands in New York, welcoming the masses, and as long as Ol’ Glory waves majestically in the God given wind, I will give you athletic, wholesome, family friendly entertainment. I will give you wrestling how it is meant to me, fun for the whole family. These colors don’t run, and neither will I from any challenge placed before me.”
He hurls a burger into the air and catches it with the bun. He hollers out burgers are done as several parents and children come running with paper plates in hand. As he serves the burgers, a Bald Eagle lands on his shoulder. McClain feeds it a hot dog, and addresses the camera one last time.
“God bless this country, these people, and the FWA. Yippie Kai Yay.”
He finishes serving the people as the squaw from the Eagle ends the segment.
