Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Feb 11, 2018 10:23:56 GMT -5
Co-Written by Martyr, Booker T (username unknown), Lance Storm (username unknown), Eddie Guerrero (username unknown), Goldberg (Mueller/DustHimself), Decoy & Fear Factor (Reeshi/DaGame1)
*The scene opens on Bongo arriving at an airport. He's at the counter and looks angry*
Bongo:What do you mean the XHF Concord isn't here!?
Stewardess: We're sorry, but Mongo took it, something about getting the hell out before being caned
Bongo: God dammit!
Stewardess: Well, it'll will be a while, why don't you sit down in the lobby
Bongo: Ok, you see, I am the commissioner of the XHF, and I'm trying to get away from the wrestlers, do you know where I can get away?
Stewardess: Are you propositioning me?
Bongo: N-
Stewardess: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! Pervert!!!
Bongo: Screw yo- it, screw it, I'll just sit in the lobby
*Bongo walks over to the lobby and sits down*
Stewardess: Heh, works evey time...
*Martyr walks into the Airport terminal as Bongo sits down. Bongo tries to hide in case Martyr wants to talk to him, but all Martyr does is walk right by and to the stewardess at the desk.*
Martyr: Umm, excuse me.
Stewardess: Yes, what can I do for you?
Martyr: Yeah, do you know if the RWF Corporate plane has arrived at the Airport yet?
Stewardess: According to my logs, it isn't due in until 6 hours from now.
Martyr: Oh, what the hell am I going to do until then?
*The Stewardess gives him a slightly sexy glance*
Stewardess: Have you seen the city?
Martyr: No, I've just been doing business here.
Stewardess: Business, huh? You look pretty uptight, like you need to relax for a while. I get off in about an hour, I could show you around the city a little if you like?
*Martyr seems to begin to pick up on subtle hints*
Martyr: Well, I guess I could use some time to relax. We could go to dinner afterward, if you like.
Stewardess: OOOOHHH, I know this great restaurant at the Marriot in town.
Martyr: Oh, a hotel restaurant. Sounds kind of sexy.
Stewardess: Well, I am a sexy girl. So how about it?
Martyr: Its a date then.
*The Stewardess winks at Martyr as he leaves the desk. Martyr tries to find a seat to wait for an hour and the only one in the crowded airport left is next to Bongo. Martyr sits down as Bongo sighs in annoyment.*
Martyr: Hey Bongo, long time no see...
*Bongo tries to hide his face from having to look at Martyr. Unfortunately, the only way to look to avoid him is at the stewardess, she glares back angrily at Bongo. Bongo just gives up and runs to Martyr*
Bongo: Heh, hey Martyr, what's up?
*Just as Bongo sits down and sinks his head into his hands he hears across the lobby...5 TIME WCW CHAMPION....SUCKA!!!!!*
Bongo: OHHH GOD!!!
Just then Booker T walks up all excited with his gym bag...he drops it and it lands on Bongo's foot and he screams in pain
Booker T: Oh shit...my bad...
*Bongo mumbles under his breath*
Bongo: Oh...your gonna pay for that...
Booker T: What?
Bongo: How did you get your hair like that?
Booker T: Oh it's simple actually...you see you just let it gro--
Bongo: Yeah whatever...anyways what do you want???
Booker T: Oh I'm just waiting for my plane to get here...I was over there talking to that fine ass stewardess and offered to show her my move the spinaroonie and she started screaming something about a pervert...
*Shrugs*
Booker T: Did you see my match with Millennium...showed that little punk ass Madonna wannabe why the call me the 5 Time WCW Champion...
*Stares at hand and starts shaking his head*
Bongo: Uhhhh...because you won the title 5 times???
Booker T: Huh?
Bongo: Nothing...
*Just then the stewardess walks over and asks Bongo about his plane*
Stewardess: So when did you say your plane was supposed to arrive??
Bongo: It was supposed to already be here...
Stewardess: Oh well I'll look into it...
*Behind her you can hear Booker T talking to himself...*
Booker T: Five Time WCW Champion baby...
*Booker looks at his hand shaking his head...*
Stewardess: Oh my God...he's having convulsions!!!
Bongo: Oh no don't worry about him...he's just a few cheeseburgers short of a happy meal if ya know what I mean.
*Booker T drops to his knee still shaking his head...*
Stewardess: Have you guys ever considered professional help for this poor man??
Bongo: Yeah...and we tried...but the professional ended up needing professional help...something about having nightmares consisting of constant Five Time WCW Champion statements...
*Booker T throws his arms out to his side and drops to the ground performing the spinaroonie and then hops up and staring at his hand still...he grabs his bag and walks away*
Bongo: So how bout that number???
*Stewardess slaps Bongo and then turns and walks away...Bongo holding his face kicks the table hurting his foot in the process*
Bongo: God just get me home!!!
*As Bongo says this and Booker walks away, Martyr decides to strike up a conversation*
Martyr: Well Bongo, you know how our business is. The ups, the downs. Ever since joining back up with the RWF, my life has been a roller coaster, you know with all the publicity and stuff. Anyway, you see that hot stewardess over there? We're going out later tonight.
*Bongo tries not to say much about her as he remembers their little experience earlier*
Bongo: Oh really, you don't say.
Martyr: Yeah, that's just one of the perks of being a huge RWF superstar like me.
*Bongo rolls his eyes while Martyr isn't looking and staring at the Stewardess*
Martyr: "Well, I wanted to ask you something Bongo. Since you are the XHF commissioner and you do preside over Scorpion and Magik, who I gloriously beat earlier tonight, are you going to make sure they do their job as promised and work at our RWF concession stand instead of playing hooky like I have a feeling they're going to do?"
Bongo: Yes, as much as I hate to do it, I will make sure that Magik and Scorpion hold up to their promise. And if they don't, well, then they'll have to answer to Mongo, and last time I checked, something happened on Gastro that really pissed him off, so I hope they just get the selling over with without argument.
*Bongo isn't really comfortable, he fidgets then looks up at the stewardess*
Bongo: Hey! Do you know anything more?
Stewardess: No! Stop asking me all the time!
Bongo: This is the fir-
Stewardess: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH {No Means No}!!!!
Bongo: ...Forget it
*A few minutes go by and Lance Storm walks up to the front desk*
Stewardess: May I help you???
Storm: Yeah wheres Bongo?
Stewardess: Oh the rapist...oh he's right over there...
*Points*
Storm: Also might I add you have very nice eyes for an Asian girl...
Stewardess: AHHHHHHHH!!!!! {No Means No}!!!!
Storm: What the hell?!?!?!
*Security rushes over and grabs Storm and starts hauling him away*
Storm: Whoa whoa whoa...If I can be serious for a minute...there is a perfect explanation for all of this...
*Bongo after hearing all the noise turns and locks eyes with Storm*
Bongo: Oh God he saw me...dammit...
*As they drag storm by Bongo Storm yells out*
Storm: Bongo...I want a match with Fear Factor for the Cruiserweight Title on Pyro!!!
*Security finally drags Storm out of the building as Bongo sits there with his head in his hands. As the stewardess yells this, Martyr jumps up and grabs hold of her. She shuts up as Martyr gives her a French kiss there on the spot in front of Bongo. Once the two stop making out, Martyr asks her something.*
Martyr: You think we can get out of here now?
*The Stewardess is dazed from the kiss but is able to answer.*
Stewardess: Yeah, some of the people here today are creeping me out, I trust you'll protect me from that crazy guy over there.
*She points at Bongo*
Martyr: Sure baby, you never know about nut cases like him, especially if they work for the XHF.
*Bongo looks shocked and disgusted as Martyr and the Stewardess leave the airport*
Bongo:Well that was two monkeys off my back, thank God
*Suddenly, two actual monkeys jump onto his back, he takes a swat at them but a voice says not to*
"I wouldn't do that, they are straight for the rain forest and may be diseased"
Bongo: Great, just great...
*Just when Bongo has finally received some peace and quiet...*
Eddie: Yo momacita wuzzup...you see this Internet title baby...I single-handedly beat 3 jacked up muscle bound freaks tonight pinning them 1 by 1 by 1 until all was done to retain this baby...
*Shines the belt*
Eddie: So momacita what you say we hook up tonight and I'll show you why they call me Latino Heat...
*Winks at Stewardess*
Eddie: Well mommy...what you say???
Stewardess: I say Bongo's right over there...
*She points*
Eddie: Oh hey Bongo...I'll catch up with you later momacita...
*Bongo, trying to hide his face, buries it into a newspaper*
Eddie: Yo holmes whats up...catchin up and daily news I see...Hey how bout my title defense essa...single handedly beat 3 people...all by myself...pinning 1 by 1...
Bongo: Uhhhh...didn't you just pin Charlie Valez???
Eddie: I don't know what your talking about holmes...Hey look at that...
*Picks up Sears ad*
Eddie: Wow...Toaster Ovens are just 69.99 but for a limited time only essa...look at that...rotating tables and everything...wow and they even have a built in light...good for those midnight snacks eh essa...
Bongo: Yeah uhhh whatever...
Eddie: WHAT?!?! 199.00 FOR A TORTILLA MAKER?!?!?! THAT'S HIGHWAY ROBBERY VATO!!!!
*Bongo scooting away from Eddie*
Bongo: Uhhh I don't know this man...
Eddie: Hey Bongo where you going essa???
*Eddie Scoots down closer to him*
Eddie: Wow man...first thing I'm doing when we get back home is going to Sears...they have everything Latino Heat needs...
*Shines his belt. Just then a Police Officer walks over to them*
Eddie: I'VE GOT MY GREED CARD RIGHT HERE ESSA!!!! I SWEAR!!!! I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO SWIM VATO...I SINK LIKE A ROCK!!!!
Officer: Uhhh...ok...anyways I'm here to ask you about a Lance Storm Mr. Bongo...he says he knows you and you'll bail him out...
Eddie: Oh...
*Sits back down*
Bongo: Lance Storm...never heard of him before in my life...
Eddie: No you know Lance Storm...he works for the XHF you know Mr If I could be serious for a minute...
Bongo: SHUT UP EDDIE!
Officer: So I should just tell him that he gets to wait out his jail time....
Bongo: Yep...never heard of him before in my life...
Officer: Ok....48 hours it is for Mr. Canada in there...
*The officer walks away as Bongo sits there shaking his head and Eddie is still looking in the Sears ad. Bongo turns around to ignore Eddie but accidentally faces to Goldberg who is reading another note that he found in his locker room. Goldberg looks at Bongo and raises his eyebrow. Bongo turns back around. Goldberg gets up and gets the two monkeys actually on his back.
Goldberg: At least they weren't drooling whining babies...
*A woman walks by and sets two babies on Bongo's back to play on. Bongo looks over at Goldberg mad and Goldberg just gets up and walks to the counter to get away.
Goldberg: Hey stewardess...
Stewardess: PERV!!!!!!!!!!
Goldberg: I was just asking when the plane is going to arrive...
Stewardess: Oh... um.... any minute now...
Goldberg: PERV!!!
Stewardess: Oh come on, who would be that stupid to yell that just so someone would get away form them.
*Goldberg raises an eyebrow at the stewardess than looks over at Bongo, than back to the stewardess who eventually flips him off. Just then Fear Factor and Decoy come running into the lobby. Fear Factor has his Cruiserweight Championship over his shoulder and the two are running with the tag titles in their hand. They rush up to the desk and begin talking to the lady at the desk.
Decoy: We need out of Japan and into the States as fast as possible the Dark Parade is right on our tails.
Stewardess: Funny, I didn't think humans had tails...I guess that's America for ya.
Fear Factor: Fuck you...give us a damn flight!
Stewardess: We have a flight leaving in 30 minutes for Oklahoma.
Decoy: We'll take it....how much
Stewardess: For the two of you, in your currency, it's only $500.
*Decoy digs into his pocket*
Decoy: Shit, I forgot my wallet at the arena.
*Fear Factor looks around and spots Bongo*
Fear Factor: Hey Bongo, buddy old pal.
Bongo: Who are you?
Fear Factor: What do you mean, it's Fear Factor, XHF Cruiserweight Champion and new Tag Team Champions.
Bongo: Ugh, another XHF superstar. What do you want?
Fear Factor: You say that like it's a bad thing to be sitting next to me, anyway I need some cash for a flight out of here.
Bongo: What do you mean, the flight doesn't leave for another 5 hours.
Fear Factor: What flight you on, I'm leaving in 25 minutes.
Bongo: Dammit, dammit, dammit....fine take what you need, just get out of here!!!!
*Bongo tosses him his wallet and Fear Factor instead of taking just what he needs runs off with the whole thing.*
Bongo: Hey, he's got my wallet.
*The lady at the desk just lets Fear Factor through as he pays and runs off with the titles intact and Decoy not too far behind. One of the babies on Bongo's shoulder gets a little over excited and...well*
Bongo: Ick! Darn you little kid!
*Bongo puts the babies on a seat nearby and walks up to the front desk*
Bongo: Hey, can you point me out to the bathroom?
Stewardess: No I will not fuck you!
Bongo: Bathroom, B-A-T-H-R-O-O-M
Stewardess: Oh, its over there
*Bongo begins to walk in the direction that she pointed toward*
Stewardess: Security! That man is trying to get me up the ass!
*Bongo just keeps walking, he goes into the bathroom and begins to clean off his shirt*