Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Feb 20, 2018 2:01:59 GMT -5
*The camera opens as we hear various thumps and clangs that would suggest metal work. We focus on a couple of jeaned legs underneath what is probably a vehicle of some sort. Soon they slide out to reveal Lord Dominicus, still in his mask. He sits up next to the ….bus(?) It’s hard to tell because we’re pretty zoomed in on Dominicus’ realm. He speaks softly, not as loud and screechy as normal- I mean, it’s still screechy, but not loud.*
LD: Oh, hello there. Heh, looks like you’ve caught me doing a little auto repair.
*He wipes his hands, which have oil and dirt and whatnot on them.*
LD: There’s something peaceful about doing things with your hands. It gives you time to think about the real questions in life. What you’re doing in life. Why nobody seems to like you. The ethical issues that come along with mermaids.
*Dominicus puts the rag he was using to wipe his hands down*
LD: I mean, really. If you catch and eat them, is that cannibalism? Is that ok? I mean, are they animals or what? And if they aren’t animals and you fall in love with one, does that constitute bestiality?
*He stops and thinks. Deeply.*
LD: Or how about the question of what I’m going to do to Dravaka Drimstone. Am I going to just simply beat him and leave it at that? Am I going to make him tap out- the giant submitting to a guy my size? Or, do I make sure to so badly embarrass him that next time he thinks about coming back he opts to go somewhere less prestigious than EWF?
*The dark lord laughs to himself. Like there’s even a choice, haha.*
LD: Like there’s even a choice. But doing this VILE MANUAR LABOR-
*Off-camera somebody yells*
“Hey! We all pull our weight!”
*Lord Dominicus lowers his voice.*
LD: This manual labor time does give me a chance to consider my strategy for the match. Not one to gloat I feel that although I am quite a bit smaller in size than Drimstone, I do have the upper hand in terms of actual wrestling ability. That is to say, I’m actually a wrestler; not just some giant freak.
*He leans close into the camera and puts a hand to the side of where his mouth should be*
LD: Don’t tell anyone, but I plan to grapple Dravaka Drimstone into the ground.
*He leans back.*
LD: And then…..
*He stands up.*
LD: Then…!
*Lord Dominicus raises his arms.*
LD: THEN I SHALL BE THE EWF SUPERIOR CHAMPIONSHIP!
*Now in full promo stance, he points towards the camera.*
LD: And do you know why? Do you know why Dravaka and all the feudal scrubs at home? Because the REAL Lord Dominicus is the ONLY person in EWF who could even remotely be considered Superior!
*Dominicus raises his arms again.*
LD: Soon it shall all come to fruition…I shall have the EWF Superior Championship, I shall have this entire company groveling at my MAGNIFICENTLY EVIL feet, and at my side will be my lovely consort. For she will be able to follow the sheen of the gold around my waist. Or maybe I’ll find her. But do you know what Dravaka Drimstone will find?
*He gestures around his waist, there is no belt this time.*
LD: NOTHING! He’ll be back to cruising around scrubs companies looking to be the top dog in a small pound. Well I’m the big fish here Dravaka, even if not in stature. But you already know that deep down; my soul is THE VANTABLACK OF DARKNESS! And you all shall see firsthand as my coronation as Superior Champion brings the black billowy clouds upon this humble company.
*The “real” Lord Dominicus jams a finger into his own chest.*
LD: Because I’M the true Dominicus and nobody can claim otherwise! It’s me! It’s all me! And soon EWF will be all Dominicus all the time! Toodles!
*He gives a dainty wave as the camera fades out.*
LD: Oh, hello there. Heh, looks like you’ve caught me doing a little auto repair.
*He wipes his hands, which have oil and dirt and whatnot on them.*
LD: There’s something peaceful about doing things with your hands. It gives you time to think about the real questions in life. What you’re doing in life. Why nobody seems to like you. The ethical issues that come along with mermaids.
*Dominicus puts the rag he was using to wipe his hands down*
LD: I mean, really. If you catch and eat them, is that cannibalism? Is that ok? I mean, are they animals or what? And if they aren’t animals and you fall in love with one, does that constitute bestiality?
*He stops and thinks. Deeply.*
LD: Or how about the question of what I’m going to do to Dravaka Drimstone. Am I going to just simply beat him and leave it at that? Am I going to make him tap out- the giant submitting to a guy my size? Or, do I make sure to so badly embarrass him that next time he thinks about coming back he opts to go somewhere less prestigious than EWF?
*The dark lord laughs to himself. Like there’s even a choice, haha.*
LD: Like there’s even a choice. But doing this VILE MANUAR LABOR-
*Off-camera somebody yells*
“Hey! We all pull our weight!”
*Lord Dominicus lowers his voice.*
LD: This manual labor time does give me a chance to consider my strategy for the match. Not one to gloat I feel that although I am quite a bit smaller in size than Drimstone, I do have the upper hand in terms of actual wrestling ability. That is to say, I’m actually a wrestler; not just some giant freak.
*He leans close into the camera and puts a hand to the side of where his mouth should be*
LD: Don’t tell anyone, but I plan to grapple Dravaka Drimstone into the ground.
*He leans back.*
LD: And then…..
*He stands up.*
LD: Then…!
*Lord Dominicus raises his arms.*
LD: THEN I SHALL BE THE EWF SUPERIOR CHAMPIONSHIP!
*Now in full promo stance, he points towards the camera.*
LD: And do you know why? Do you know why Dravaka and all the feudal scrubs at home? Because the REAL Lord Dominicus is the ONLY person in EWF who could even remotely be considered Superior!
*Dominicus raises his arms again.*
LD: Soon it shall all come to fruition…I shall have the EWF Superior Championship, I shall have this entire company groveling at my MAGNIFICENTLY EVIL feet, and at my side will be my lovely consort. For she will be able to follow the sheen of the gold around my waist. Or maybe I’ll find her. But do you know what Dravaka Drimstone will find?
*He gestures around his waist, there is no belt this time.*
LD: NOTHING! He’ll be back to cruising around scrubs companies looking to be the top dog in a small pound. Well I’m the big fish here Dravaka, even if not in stature. But you already know that deep down; my soul is THE VANTABLACK OF DARKNESS! And you all shall see firsthand as my coronation as Superior Champion brings the black billowy clouds upon this humble company.
*The “real” Lord Dominicus jams a finger into his own chest.*
LD: Because I’M the true Dominicus and nobody can claim otherwise! It’s me! It’s all me! And soon EWF will be all Dominicus all the time! Toodles!
*He gives a dainty wave as the camera fades out.*
