Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Mar 5, 2018 7:05:29 GMT -5
*The camera opens up zoomed in on Lord Dominicus’ masked visage, slowly it moves around, jostled by something. Slowly we zoom out to see he is in fact riding something- a horse? No, his legs are spread too wide to be anything but a Clydesdale. Suddenly we find out, a GIANT T-REX HEAD CUTS INTO THE VIEW!*
LD: Whoa, Nelly!
*The t-rex moves its head around mechanically and you can see the dead expression in its eyes. It’s animatronic. Eventually the head lowers as the Dark Lord turns to look at the camera.*
LD: That’s right you PITIFUL FOOL! I have conquered the most fearsome of beasts to be my personal steed! I am its master and it bows to my every whim! And together we shall strike fear into the hearts of the people as we ride across the land!
*The fake dinosaur rears up a bit as Lord Dominicus holds on for dear life to his saurian stallion.*
LD: Meanwhile, Royal Powerhouse, how have you spent your day? Chit chatting incoherently with your family? Well la-de-da! THIS IS WHY I’M THE SUPERIOR CHAMPION! While you bum around doing nothing, cutting a promo that barely even focused on the opponent ahead of you I commandeered this MONOLITHIC MOUNT! You are nothing to me!
*The robotic reptile moves around more in stilted unnatural ways.*
LD: And that name of yours, Royal Powerhouse? Really? Another Royal? Did you know there’s two of them at least in this company? I would know because just a few shows ago I faced off against the guy who runs the show, Royal Ambassador. You two could be a tag team, “The Royal Royals” or something like that. But let me tell you this!
*He points at the camera while white-knuckling the reigns for his ride*
LD: The last Royal who tried to get between me and the EWF Superior Championship wound up staring at the sky as the ref counted. I can only assume this Royal will do the same!
*The t-rex opens its mouth with what would be a mighty roar but makes no sound because it’s not a real animal.*
LD: And another thing! That had to have been the most boring conversation I had to listen to! I wanted to talk about how awesome my mare here was, but NOOOOOOOO; you had to put me to sleep talking to your “fam.” YOUR BROTHER’S NAME IS HELLSBOUNCER! Just a normal boring chit-chat is a massive letdown for all of us! But I don’t know what I expected…
*Lord Dominicus reaches around his back with his free hand and unhooks the EWF Superior Championship from around his waist and holds it up- actually, hold on. That doesn’t look like the EWF Superior Championship, it looks like a belt for a different company. Lord Dominicus looks at the title.*
LD: Crap.
*The t-rex continues to go through its preset motions. With a flick of his wrist, HE WHO SHALL BE NAMED (LORD DOMINICUS) flips the title around so its back is facing the camera. Who knows, maybe it was the EWF Superior Championship and you just saw it wrong. Why would you think he had another title from another company? That’s just weird. Stop looking at me like that.*
LD: I don’t know what I expected; this championship here proves that I am the greatest competitor inside of this company! So go ahead Royal, if that is your real name, have a cookie-cutter convo with your much cooler brother; it only softens you up for the GREAT FEAST THAT SHALL BE UPON US!
*The t-rex opens his mouth, perfect timing.*
LD: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to get down from there.”
*The camera switches to a different angle, now we see from the ground that all this has been taking place in a natural history museum. There’s a massive crowd around the t-rex in awe of the crazy man riding it. Security stands at the base, calling up to the FEARSOME Lord Dominicus.*
LD: KNEEL TO MY MIGHT, PEONS!
*One of the security guards turns to the other.*
Guard: Ok, get the taser.
LD: NO NO! I’m coming down! Jeez, of all th…
*His words drift off as the camera fades out.*
LD: Whoa, Nelly!
*The t-rex moves its head around mechanically and you can see the dead expression in its eyes. It’s animatronic. Eventually the head lowers as the Dark Lord turns to look at the camera.*
LD: That’s right you PITIFUL FOOL! I have conquered the most fearsome of beasts to be my personal steed! I am its master and it bows to my every whim! And together we shall strike fear into the hearts of the people as we ride across the land!
*The fake dinosaur rears up a bit as Lord Dominicus holds on for dear life to his saurian stallion.*
LD: Meanwhile, Royal Powerhouse, how have you spent your day? Chit chatting incoherently with your family? Well la-de-da! THIS IS WHY I’M THE SUPERIOR CHAMPION! While you bum around doing nothing, cutting a promo that barely even focused on the opponent ahead of you I commandeered this MONOLITHIC MOUNT! You are nothing to me!
*The robotic reptile moves around more in stilted unnatural ways.*
LD: And that name of yours, Royal Powerhouse? Really? Another Royal? Did you know there’s two of them at least in this company? I would know because just a few shows ago I faced off against the guy who runs the show, Royal Ambassador. You two could be a tag team, “The Royal Royals” or something like that. But let me tell you this!
*He points at the camera while white-knuckling the reigns for his ride*
LD: The last Royal who tried to get between me and the EWF Superior Championship wound up staring at the sky as the ref counted. I can only assume this Royal will do the same!
*The t-rex opens its mouth with what would be a mighty roar but makes no sound because it’s not a real animal.*
LD: And another thing! That had to have been the most boring conversation I had to listen to! I wanted to talk about how awesome my mare here was, but NOOOOOOOO; you had to put me to sleep talking to your “fam.” YOUR BROTHER’S NAME IS HELLSBOUNCER! Just a normal boring chit-chat is a massive letdown for all of us! But I don’t know what I expected…
*Lord Dominicus reaches around his back with his free hand and unhooks the EWF Superior Championship from around his waist and holds it up- actually, hold on. That doesn’t look like the EWF Superior Championship, it looks like a belt for a different company. Lord Dominicus looks at the title.*
LD: Crap.
*The t-rex continues to go through its preset motions. With a flick of his wrist, HE WHO SHALL BE NAMED (LORD DOMINICUS) flips the title around so its back is facing the camera. Who knows, maybe it was the EWF Superior Championship and you just saw it wrong. Why would you think he had another title from another company? That’s just weird. Stop looking at me like that.*
LD: I don’t know what I expected; this championship here proves that I am the greatest competitor inside of this company! So go ahead Royal, if that is your real name, have a cookie-cutter convo with your much cooler brother; it only softens you up for the GREAT FEAST THAT SHALL BE UPON US!
*The t-rex opens his mouth, perfect timing.*
LD: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to get down from there.”
*The camera switches to a different angle, now we see from the ground that all this has been taking place in a natural history museum. There’s a massive crowd around the t-rex in awe of the crazy man riding it. Security stands at the base, calling up to the FEARSOME Lord Dominicus.*
LD: KNEEL TO MY MIGHT, PEONS!
*One of the security guards turns to the other.*
Guard: Ok, get the taser.
LD: NO NO! I’m coming down! Jeez, of all th…
*His words drift off as the camera fades out.*
