Post by Jack Diamond on Apr 24, 2018 19:41:49 GMT -5
Voiceover: The following has been paid for by Aces Wild Studios, and your ICW World Champion, Jack Diamond.
TNT’s television feed is interrupted by static before a black screen comes into a focus and a medallion of sorts fades into view on the television screens. The medallion is red with a black spade.
This image starts to fade out after a few seconds before a late night show set comes into view. The set is immaculate with a huge cherry desk, leather sofa and glass table. On the table sits a couple mugs with spade logos on it and on the desk sits the ICW World Title, shimmering in the studio lights. As the camera pans out we see a beautiful stage to the left of the set and in the foreground what appears to be a capacity audience who begins clapping when the “Applause” light turns on.
Voiceover: Welcome to All-In Tonight, and here is your host, ICW World Champion, “The Ace of Spades” JACK DIAMOND!!!
The crowd goes absolutely nuts as a “Diamond” chant breaks out. As Motorhead’s “The Ace of Spades” blares through the studio Jack Diamond emerges on a beautiful oak runway-style stage set up between the desk area and the musical stage, holding a book. The light bounces off his suit, a Stuart Hughes Diamond Edition suit, that of which there are only three in the world. His smile looks like a million bucks and his suit comes damn close to that. He soaks in the cheers before motioning for them to quieten down as the music fades to a close.
Diamond: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to All-In Tonight! Yeah, I know what you are thinking, “It’s been over two months since your last show!” Well, I was on my way to doing episode two almost a month ago and asked Bret Stetson for directions. It turns out he really IS just a dumb jock!
The crowd pops a bit at this veiled reference to Stetson’s “Todd Hogan” character. Diamond straightens his tie and wipes off the front of his jacket.
Diamond: I was planning on wearing my usual Armani suit tonight, but rumor has it they had to use all of their fabric to make Duke Kosloff a suit, so it was time to up my game. With that said, I just HAVE to read you a passage from this world renowned philosopher, Dr. Seuss…
The crowd busts into laughter as Diamond hold up the famous Dr. Seuss book, “One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish.”
Diamond: “From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere!” One of those funny things, Duke, is the fact that think you belong anywhere near the same ring as the Ace of Spades. If you want to step up to the table one day, I’ll chop your jolly giant ass down to the mat.
The crowd explodes into cheers. They love their world champion and tonight he in his element.
Diamond: I have a great show lined up for you tonight, but first let’s take a moment to hear from one of our sponsors…
Voiceover: Ladies and gentlemen, This Monday, the first one hundred fans into the Midsummer Night’s Massacre pay-per-view wearing a “Diamond Club” T-shirt, available in the lobby tonight for only 19.99, will receive a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to get the hottest action figure on the market today:
Voiceover: That's right! Get YOUR limited edition Bobby Barratt action figure, wearing a cute little hat with a “B” on it so he doesn’t forget his name and carrying a cute little bat. These won’t last long folks, get there early or risk missing out on this deal!
The crowd is almost in a frenzy at the shot on Bobby Barratt as the cameras cut back to the set with Diamond behind the sprawling desk, barely able to contain his laughter.
Diamond: We are back and what a show we have. I would like to bring out my first guest. He is a former wrestler whose career was cut short by an awful head and knee injury. He was one half of one of the hottest British tag teams ever, according to the internet, please Welcome, Steve!
The crowd, unsure of who Steve is, starts clapping a bit as the man walks out on stage, limping some on his left leg. Life has not been kind to this man as he looks a lot older than his Wikipedia page had suggested. He walks over to Jack and extends his hand, on which two of his fingers bend slightly in the wrong direction making the shake kind of awkward. As he takes a seat, Jack sits back down behind the desk.
Diamond: Thank you for being here tonight. I wish I could say I was a huge fan of yours, but honestly I haven’t seen much of your in ring work. I just thought I’d give you the opportunity to make a few bucks.
Steve: Uh, thanks mate. What exactly is this? Why am I here?
Diamond: Glad you asked that. I know you have been living on the streets for many years, no television, and out of touch with reality, but the wrestling game has changed a bit since you unceremoniously left it. I am the world champion of Icon Championship Wrestling. That may not mean much to you, but it does mean a lot to my opponent this week, The Prodigal Icon, Bobby Barratt.
Steve recoils at the mention of Bobby. The crowd lets out a few boos at the name.
Diamond: Take it easy pal, he isn’t here. So I was reading your Wikipedia page today and well, it seems like you and Bobby were a team destined for great things until you quit the business one day thanks to an injury you suffered outside of the ring. The good people of the Diamond Club want to hear your story, what exactly happened?
Steve: That bloody monster beat the shit out of me! Really did a number the fucking guy. All over some dumb broad he was about to propose to.
Diamond: Jenny Stackhouse?
Steve: No, that wasn’t her name. This was some ring-rat Bobby fell in love with, a real nasty cunt, as soon as he went down with an injury she was all over the rest of the boys. I got drunk one night and ended up at Bobby’s house, I wasn’t myself mate, I don’t really remember anything from that night until the sobering beating I got at the hands of Barratt and his bat.
Diamond: So Bobby did this to you? The deformed fingers, the limp in your step? I bet you are furious at that ass-clown?
Steve: Honestly mate, it was my own damn fault, I shouldn’t have went there that night with her. Bobby and I were best friends, haven’t spoken to him since that night. Maybe you could bring me to the show and let me speak with him.
Diamond: I think it’s time for you to hit the road, this isn’t some sappy story time about you making amends with Bobby, this is about me doing to him what has done to you and countless others, destroy what dignity he has left. Now get out of here! Stay tuned folks, I have a special guest next but let’s take a quick thirty second pause for the cause and hear from another sponsor.
Steve walks away from the stage sulking. It appears that Diamond screwed him out of the promised money and now he has aired dirty laundry in front of who knows how many people. The world just got a glimpse into why Bobby Barratt seems to be an insecure, little, degenerate these days. The television screens fade into a quick commercial with a taco truck that looks as though it belongs on a Twisted Metal video game.
Voiceover: Hungry and tired of waiting for some millennial waitress to come take your order? Wait no more! It’s Tony’s Tasty Tacos! This meal on wheels will satisfy even the hungriest of hunters. Please ignore the blood stains in the back, Tony’s Tasty Taco’s! Home of the 98 cent Taco Traffic Tuesdays!
The screen switches back to a close-up of Jack. He is smiling from ear to ear, clearly having a great time tonight ahead of a serious match Monday night.
Diamond: We are back ladies and gents. My next guest really needs no introduction. She is the driving force behind Bobby Barratt. The Beyoncé to his Jay-Z, if you will. Without further ado, I present… DEBRA!!!!!
Diamond pulls out a pink inflatable baseball bat from behind the sofa and props it up on an arm of the sofa nearest the desk. The word “Princess” is written on the side of it. The crowd erupts into laughter as Diamond sits back down and adjusts the microphone on the edge of the desk to point towards the bat.
Diamond: So Debra, when did you first meet Bobby Barratt?
The crowd looks on in amazement as Diamond is actually trying to conduct a serious interview with this inanimate object.
Diamond: Don’t worry, I know you’re a little bashful. Just pretend it’s just the two of us, there is no crowd of people watching. Does Jenny Stackhouse feel jealous that Bobby’s greasy hands massage you more than they do his girlfriend?
Jack thoughtfully waits for a response. He looks like he is really interested in what this toy has to say and frowns a bit after a few seconds go by without an answer.
Diamond: I get it, you are loyal to your master. I can respect that. But let me introduce you to one of my friends, I call him Safe T. Pin.
Diamond picks up a safety pin from his desk and jabs at the bat, a loud pop echoes throughout the studio, causing some in the audience to jump. Diamond lets out a huge, almost maniacal, laugh as the pink plastic and rubber bat wilts and falls over to the front of the sofa. The crowd is having a good time now as Diamond walks around the front of the desk and drops the joking demeanor as he closes in on the camera.
Diamond: Bobby Barratt, listen up, and listen well. All the fun and games will be over this coming Monday. You think the bumps you’ve taken in our first two meetings were rough? Wait until the hell I put you through by the lake at Midsummer Night’s Massacre. Hell in a Cell. Such a menacing structure that keeps all the bullshit away, and keeps you locked in with me until only one of us walks out.
Diamond turns and points back to his world title on the desk.
Diamond: You see that belt, Bobby. Take a close look. That’s as close as you will get to it. It belongs to me and will be around my waste as I leave the event STILL the world champ while you are just left in a pool of your own blood and piss. This Monday Bobby, your world will never be the same again.
Diamond stares into the cameras looking almost evil for a brief second, before smiling big again and backing up as if the moment didn’t just get intense.
Diamond: That is all the time we have tonight folks! Tune in Monday night for Midsummer Night’s Massacre and watch the Ace of Spades retain his World Championship! You can bet on that!
The camera zooms out as the fans are cheering loudly and chanting “Diamond.” The scene comes to an end as a poster for Monday’s event pops up.
TNT’s television feed is interrupted by static before a black screen comes into a focus and a medallion of sorts fades into view on the television screens. The medallion is red with a black spade.
Voiceover: Welcome to All-In Tonight, and here is your host, ICW World Champion, “The Ace of Spades” JACK DIAMOND!!!
The crowd goes absolutely nuts as a “Diamond” chant breaks out. As Motorhead’s “The Ace of Spades” blares through the studio Jack Diamond emerges on a beautiful oak runway-style stage set up between the desk area and the musical stage, holding a book. The light bounces off his suit, a Stuart Hughes Diamond Edition suit, that of which there are only three in the world. His smile looks like a million bucks and his suit comes damn close to that. He soaks in the cheers before motioning for them to quieten down as the music fades to a close.
Diamond: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to All-In Tonight! Yeah, I know what you are thinking, “It’s been over two months since your last show!” Well, I was on my way to doing episode two almost a month ago and asked Bret Stetson for directions. It turns out he really IS just a dumb jock!
The crowd pops a bit at this veiled reference to Stetson’s “Todd Hogan” character. Diamond straightens his tie and wipes off the front of his jacket.
Diamond: I was planning on wearing my usual Armani suit tonight, but rumor has it they had to use all of their fabric to make Duke Kosloff a suit, so it was time to up my game. With that said, I just HAVE to read you a passage from this world renowned philosopher, Dr. Seuss…
The crowd busts into laughter as Diamond hold up the famous Dr. Seuss book, “One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish.”
Diamond: “From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere!” One of those funny things, Duke, is the fact that think you belong anywhere near the same ring as the Ace of Spades. If you want to step up to the table one day, I’ll chop your jolly giant ass down to the mat.
The crowd explodes into cheers. They love their world champion and tonight he in his element.
Diamond: I have a great show lined up for you tonight, but first let’s take a moment to hear from one of our sponsors…
Voiceover: Ladies and gentlemen, This Monday, the first one hundred fans into the Midsummer Night’s Massacre pay-per-view wearing a “Diamond Club” T-shirt, available in the lobby tonight for only 19.99, will receive a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to get the hottest action figure on the market today:
Voiceover: That's right! Get YOUR limited edition Bobby Barratt action figure, wearing a cute little hat with a “B” on it so he doesn’t forget his name and carrying a cute little bat. These won’t last long folks, get there early or risk missing out on this deal!
The crowd is almost in a frenzy at the shot on Bobby Barratt as the cameras cut back to the set with Diamond behind the sprawling desk, barely able to contain his laughter.
Diamond: We are back and what a show we have. I would like to bring out my first guest. He is a former wrestler whose career was cut short by an awful head and knee injury. He was one half of one of the hottest British tag teams ever, according to the internet, please Welcome, Steve!
The crowd, unsure of who Steve is, starts clapping a bit as the man walks out on stage, limping some on his left leg. Life has not been kind to this man as he looks a lot older than his Wikipedia page had suggested. He walks over to Jack and extends his hand, on which two of his fingers bend slightly in the wrong direction making the shake kind of awkward. As he takes a seat, Jack sits back down behind the desk.
Diamond: Thank you for being here tonight. I wish I could say I was a huge fan of yours, but honestly I haven’t seen much of your in ring work. I just thought I’d give you the opportunity to make a few bucks.
Steve: Uh, thanks mate. What exactly is this? Why am I here?
Diamond: Glad you asked that. I know you have been living on the streets for many years, no television, and out of touch with reality, but the wrestling game has changed a bit since you unceremoniously left it. I am the world champion of Icon Championship Wrestling. That may not mean much to you, but it does mean a lot to my opponent this week, The Prodigal Icon, Bobby Barratt.
Steve recoils at the mention of Bobby. The crowd lets out a few boos at the name.
Diamond: Take it easy pal, he isn’t here. So I was reading your Wikipedia page today and well, it seems like you and Bobby were a team destined for great things until you quit the business one day thanks to an injury you suffered outside of the ring. The good people of the Diamond Club want to hear your story, what exactly happened?
Steve: That bloody monster beat the shit out of me! Really did a number the fucking guy. All over some dumb broad he was about to propose to.
Diamond: Jenny Stackhouse?
Steve: No, that wasn’t her name. This was some ring-rat Bobby fell in love with, a real nasty cunt, as soon as he went down with an injury she was all over the rest of the boys. I got drunk one night and ended up at Bobby’s house, I wasn’t myself mate, I don’t really remember anything from that night until the sobering beating I got at the hands of Barratt and his bat.
Diamond: So Bobby did this to you? The deformed fingers, the limp in your step? I bet you are furious at that ass-clown?
Steve: Honestly mate, it was my own damn fault, I shouldn’t have went there that night with her. Bobby and I were best friends, haven’t spoken to him since that night. Maybe you could bring me to the show and let me speak with him.
Diamond: I think it’s time for you to hit the road, this isn’t some sappy story time about you making amends with Bobby, this is about me doing to him what has done to you and countless others, destroy what dignity he has left. Now get out of here! Stay tuned folks, I have a special guest next but let’s take a quick thirty second pause for the cause and hear from another sponsor.
Steve walks away from the stage sulking. It appears that Diamond screwed him out of the promised money and now he has aired dirty laundry in front of who knows how many people. The world just got a glimpse into why Bobby Barratt seems to be an insecure, little, degenerate these days. The television screens fade into a quick commercial with a taco truck that looks as though it belongs on a Twisted Metal video game.
Voiceover: Hungry and tired of waiting for some millennial waitress to come take your order? Wait no more! It’s Tony’s Tasty Tacos! This meal on wheels will satisfy even the hungriest of hunters. Please ignore the blood stains in the back, Tony’s Tasty Taco’s! Home of the 98 cent Taco Traffic Tuesdays!
The screen switches back to a close-up of Jack. He is smiling from ear to ear, clearly having a great time tonight ahead of a serious match Monday night.
Diamond: We are back ladies and gents. My next guest really needs no introduction. She is the driving force behind Bobby Barratt. The Beyoncé to his Jay-Z, if you will. Without further ado, I present… DEBRA!!!!!
Diamond pulls out a pink inflatable baseball bat from behind the sofa and props it up on an arm of the sofa nearest the desk. The word “Princess” is written on the side of it. The crowd erupts into laughter as Diamond sits back down and adjusts the microphone on the edge of the desk to point towards the bat.
Diamond: So Debra, when did you first meet Bobby Barratt?
The crowd looks on in amazement as Diamond is actually trying to conduct a serious interview with this inanimate object.
Diamond: Don’t worry, I know you’re a little bashful. Just pretend it’s just the two of us, there is no crowd of people watching. Does Jenny Stackhouse feel jealous that Bobby’s greasy hands massage you more than they do his girlfriend?
Jack thoughtfully waits for a response. He looks like he is really interested in what this toy has to say and frowns a bit after a few seconds go by without an answer.
Diamond: I get it, you are loyal to your master. I can respect that. But let me introduce you to one of my friends, I call him Safe T. Pin.
Diamond picks up a safety pin from his desk and jabs at the bat, a loud pop echoes throughout the studio, causing some in the audience to jump. Diamond lets out a huge, almost maniacal, laugh as the pink plastic and rubber bat wilts and falls over to the front of the sofa. The crowd is having a good time now as Diamond walks around the front of the desk and drops the joking demeanor as he closes in on the camera.
Diamond: Bobby Barratt, listen up, and listen well. All the fun and games will be over this coming Monday. You think the bumps you’ve taken in our first two meetings were rough? Wait until the hell I put you through by the lake at Midsummer Night’s Massacre. Hell in a Cell. Such a menacing structure that keeps all the bullshit away, and keeps you locked in with me until only one of us walks out.
Diamond turns and points back to his world title on the desk.
Diamond: You see that belt, Bobby. Take a close look. That’s as close as you will get to it. It belongs to me and will be around my waste as I leave the event STILL the world champ while you are just left in a pool of your own blood and piss. This Monday Bobby, your world will never be the same again.
Diamond stares into the cameras looking almost evil for a brief second, before smiling big again and backing up as if the moment didn’t just get intense.
Diamond: Let’s get to my next guests, playing their hit song “Help.” A song I dedicate to Bobby Barratt, because after he loses Monday he will be so tormented that he will need all the help he can get. Ladies and gentlemen, Papa Roach!
As Papa Roach finishes their song, Diamond walks over to shake their hands.Diamond: That is all the time we have tonight folks! Tune in Monday night for Midsummer Night’s Massacre and watch the Ace of Spades retain his World Championship! You can bet on that!
The camera zooms out as the fans are cheering loudly and chanting “Diamond.” The scene comes to an end as a poster for Monday’s event pops up.