Anarchy 38 Results

[vastrix]

People are still getting settled in for the beginning of the show when, “Psychosocial” by Slipknot suddenly hit and the lights begin to flash violently to the beat. The ramp starts to flood with smoke and red lasers begin to strobe around the arena. Eddie Havok starts to walk down the ramp, meet by a mixture of boos and cheers. He appears to be in a pissed of mood, one which the fans of RSW have grown a custom to. He comes to the end of the ramp, he looks around before he begins to circle the ring. He slowly climbs up the steel steps. He climbs through the ropes. Eddie walks over to the furthest turnbuckle and climbs up. He looks out across the crowd. He raises both arms above his head. His music dies down as Eddie ditches his leather jacket and jumps down into the ring. He motions to a ring crew, requesting a microphone.



HAVOK: While I am out here, I have something to address. Grand Slam Champion!



TOMMY ONIONS: The Future of RSW has something to say!



JOSEPH GREER: I would say that the future is pretty dim.



TOMMY ONIONS: You think he’s pretty?



Havok stops by the ringside looking out towards the crowd.



HAVOK: As it currently stands, we do not have any on the active roster! No on the roster has managed to hold all of the active titles in RSW



The crowd erupts with a mixed reaction one more.



HAVOK: However there is one person on the roster that is one championship away from earning the title Grand Slam Champion!



Standing up straight, Eddie takes a few more steps back towards the middle of the ring.



HAVOK: Just one person that has won three of the current active title here in RSW



More boos can be heard from the crowd.



HAVOK: That’s right… I am currently one, that is three championship away from earning the title Grand Slam Champion.



The boo’s at this point are dominating the crowd’s reaction.



HAVOK: Many of you seem to hate me, a few might even like me. Frankly, it doesn’t make any difference to me. All seem to think that I am overrated and talentless.



The crowds start to erupt in response



CROWD: Over-rate-ed! Tal-ent-less!



A sly smile slips across the face of Eddie.



HAVOK: The truth of the matter is, I have managed to hold the Anarchy title, the Legacy title and the Tag Team titles. I only reason that I haven’t already become a Grand Slam Champion, is that I have never had a world championship match! I have been here for two years now, I believe it’s time that I finally got that chance!



Turning to face to face the Riotron to address the backstage.



HAVOK: We all know that Shane Mitchell earned a title shot at the XHF Night of Champions by winning the Rumble at the last show. Let him have his match against Dylan Erickson. I plan to be busy that night completing for the XHF X-Crown championship.



JOSEPH GREER: Someone is dreaming if they think that they can defeat Riot.



TOMMY ONIONS: And what a lovely dream it would be.



HAVOK: I am officially challenging the winner of the match. Whether it is Erickson or Mitchell, I challenge the victory to a match at the following RSW Pay Per View!



Eddie walks to the ropes by the announcer’s table



HAVOK: For now, let’s get Riot and Harris out here! So I can win this match and challenge for the XHF X-Crown championship!



He tosses out the microphone, before removing his leather jacket.



JOSEPH GREER: He does know that the show hasn’t even started yet?



TOMMY ONIONS: He’s so focused on himself. I doubt he noticed that half the card hasn’t passed yet.



Bob Mooney steps into the ring to inform Havok that it isn’t time for his match yet. Havok shakes his head with the microphone in hand.



HAVOK: Harris…Riot…you have bought yourself some time since they won’t make you come down to the ring to face me now, but your time will come!



“Psychosocial” by Slipknot begins again as Havok makes his way to the back under a curtain of boos.



JOSEPH GREER: And welcome to another edition of Anarchy! Since Havok took up all of our time, let’s get on to the opening match!



TOMMY ONIONS: A hottie to be coming out. Yes, let’s get it in!



JOSEPH GREER: I think that you mean get it on.



TOMMY ONIONS: I do! What did I say?



JOSEPH GREER: Nevermind.

[vastrix]

BOB MOONEY: The opening contest of the night is scheduled for one fall! Featuring first…Dagvald Riddik!



The slow intro to In Horror by Bloodhorse begins playing as the RioTron first displays just a waving Norwegian Flag, then the image zooms out and shows it tattered, flying over a war torn battlefield, dead bodies strewn about. Then the heavy (and totally badass \m/ ) guitar riff starts, and the camera pans to the right until burning fires engulf the screen in smoke, and real fog machines cover up the stage. A short moment later it clears, and Dagvald is standing in the middle of the stage in full Viking chainmail, his sword in his right hand, and shield in his left.



Dagvald: Hail Odin, and to Valhalla, we rise!



On the RioTron, the dead bodies come to life, soldiers of the gods reincarnated to fight again. They fall behind Dag as he marches to the ring. He climbs the steps and poses at the top of the ringpost, his sword pointed to the sky like Conan. He sheaths his sword and places his shield on his back then hops down to the mat. He soaks in the boos and ignores the ref’s demands he disarm himself, but after a moment he takes off his gear, setting it aside.



JOSEPH GREER: Is this guy insane? He comes down to the ring in full gear like he was going to fight in some war in the dark ages? Get a grip!



TOMMY ONIONS: The man is ready to come down to the ring to kick some ass!

JOSEPH GREER: Someone can come down to the ring and be ready to kick ass without also being ready to skewer it like a pig.



TOMMY ONIONS: Tomato, tomato.



BOB MOONEY: And his opponent…Hijinks!



“I’m an Albatraoz” by Aronchupa begins playing as Hijinks steps out onto the entrance stage. She looks around at the quiet crowd with a nod before heading down to the ring.



TOMMY ONIONS: Do you see the dead eyes on that chick? So fucking hot!



JOSEPH GREER: I…what?



TOMMY ONIONS: She looks like she could cut you with a glance.



JOSEPH GREER: And that’s hot? Oh I forget, you have the hots for women like Ruby Walsh.



TOMMY ONIONS: You fucking know it!



At the sound of the opening bell, Dagvald and Hijinks begin to circle around each other in the ring. Dagvald takes a swing that Hijinks dodges. She grabs the offending arm, applying a wrist lock.



Dagvald grunts in pain from the lock, striking Hijinks in the side of the head with his other hand hard enough to break the hold. He grabs Hijinks by the hair as leverage to slam his knee into her gut a few times to get her doubled over so that he can hit a gutwrench suplex to lay her out on the mat.

The Viking aims a stomp at her head, but she rolls out of the way, and to her feet. He reaches for her, but finds himself pulled down into a small package!



One



Two



Thre-Dagvald kicks out!



Hijinks kneels up, but is stunned when Dagvald strikes with a hard jab to the jaw. He rolls to his feet, getting up at the same time as Hijinks. He hits another right hook, following through with an elbow strike to the side of the head that staggers the young girl.



A quick power bomb later, Dagvald holds Hijinks steady for the pinfall.



One



Two



Thr-Hijinks kicks out!



Dagvald stands up, waiting for Hijinks to rise, grabbing her for a suplex position, and then bringing her down into a gutbuster!



The Viking kicks Hijinks in the ribs a few times, rolling her to the ropes so that he can place a knee to the side of her head. He uses the ropes to help apply pressure. The ref begins yelling at Dagvald to break the hold, eventually starting to count so that Riddik backs away.



TOMMY ONIONS: Man defeats woman. I don’t like it, but it’s the natural way of things.



JOSEPH GREER: I think that she’s pretty talented enough to hold her own in this match.



TOMMY ONIONS: But not win. The nordic nutcase will win the match and I’ll be there to sooth the broken heart of the girl.



JOSEPH GREER: So…sexist.



The ref helps Hijinks stand up, but Dagvald sends her over the ropes to the floor with a sideways swung double axe handle! He laughs as the ref admonishes him for such a move, Hijinks laying on the floor.

The ref begins to count Hijinks out, but Dagvald steps out of the ring. He rolls her back in and follows her in. He whips her into the ropes, catching her on the rebound to set up a blue thunder bomb when Hijinks brings him down to the mat with a hurancanrana. She bridges back for the surprise pinfall attempt!



One



Two



Thr-Dagvald kicks out!



JOSEPH GREER: See? The Catch style can turn things around in a heartbeat.



TOMMY ONIONS: Short gains.

Dagvald is the first to stand, uttering a Nordic curse under his breath. Hijink lunches upward, striking with a European uppercut that staggers him back a few steps. A quick jab to the gut ducks him down a bit and opens him to be hit with a spinning neckbreaker.



JOSEPH GREER: See? Comeback Queen!



TOMMY ONIONS: I’m pulling for her, but I don’t think she’ll win.



Hijinks rolls him over, setting him up for the Carnie Clutch when Dagvald rolls over, and kicks her in the gut. He jumps to his feet, grabbing Hijinks as if for a power bomb, and throws her backward so that she slams face first into the turnbuckles! He hooks a leg for the pinfall!



JOSEPH GREER: Dagvald with the Fall of the West!



TOMMY ONIONS: For the win!



One



Two



Three!



BOB MOONEY: Winner of the match…Dagvald Riddik!



TOMMY ONIONS: See?

JOSEPH GREER: Don’t do it!



TOMMY ONIONS: Don’t do what? I told you so!



JOSEPH GREER: That. Don’t do that.



TOMMY ONIONS: Too late. I told you who was going to win and I was right.



JOSEPH GREER: Even a broken clock is right twice a day.



Dagvald Riddik celebrates in the ring as Hijinks heads to the back.

[vastrix]

BOB MOONEY: This next contest is a triple threat match scheduled for one fall. Featuring first…Nightvasio!

No music plays as Nightvasio walks out from the back to a mixed reaction from the fans. She regards nearby fans with a grin as she makes her way down to the ring.



TOMMY ONIONS: Why hello, bish! Come and see me sometime!



JOSEPH GREER: You know that she has a skull face and will probably rip your face off instead of getting it on with you?



TOMMY ONIONS: She can’t do both? Maybe she will hold that hot body against me. I mean my murderous maiden hasn’t been around for some time so I have to look at someone.



JOSEPH GREER: And you choose her?



TOMMY ONIONS: Boobs…



BOB MOONEY: And featuring second is Jakie Wentzel!



The arena goes dark as the RioTron cuts to static.The video monitor displays Intercourse, PA in shambles as “The Crowing” by Coheed and Cambria blares from the PA system. Burnt out buildings. Screams to God for mercy. Fields of slaughtered Amish citizens with blood soaked quilts on them. Vicious clowns sit on porches with smoking pipes in their mouths. Intermittent through the imagery are video clips of Jakie in a black v-neck t-shirt and torn designer blue jeans. The video ends with Jakie putting on a pair of brass knuckles as the video package ends with Jakie stepping through the curtain.



TOMMY ONIONS: Jakie looks like an accident waiting to happen. Vacant stare like no one is at the helm. You know?



JOSEPH GREER: I would think that Jakie is just a little bit better than that. He is better than that.



Jakie gets into the ring and immediately averts his eyes from the cleavage on display from Nightvasio. Joseph sighs.



JOSEPH GREER: I retract my previous statement.



TOMMY ONIONS: That’s what I fucking thought.



BOB MOONEY: And the third opponent in this match…Omar Azure!



“Catch Your Breath” by CFO$ begins playing as Omar Azure walks out from the back. He stops at the entrance stage and blows fire into the air to the delight of the fans before heading down to the ring.



TOMMY ONIONS: Dragon King looks to be on top of things.



JOSEPH GREER: I don’t think that he’s the Dragon King right now. I think he’s Omar Azure.



TOMMY ONIONS: Who can tell the fucking difference?



As the bell rings to start the match, Nightvasio peels back her top a little to reveal a little more cleavage. This causes Jakie to look away suddenly with his face aglow in shame. It allows Nightvasio to hit a Lou Thez press. She wails on the Amishman until a sidekick from Omar breaks the hold.



Nightvasio rises to her feet, glaring at Omar. Jakie rolls out of the ring, unnoticed by either opponent.



Omar goes for a buzzsaw kick, but Nightvasio catches the foot on her shoulder, and strikes Omar in the nuts with a closed fist to send him to the mat.



TOMMY ONIONS: JESUS CHRIST! I felt that!



JOSEPH GREER: I guess when you present it like that, it might get struck.



Nightvasio grabs the still curled Omar by the ankle and hits a spinning toe hold while still holding the ankle. She laughs as the ref yells at her still for the low blow and hits another spinning toe hold, and then another.



Jakie Wentzel strikes her in the butt with a boot to get her to break the chain of spinning toe holds. Nightvasio turns around with a look of pain on her face.



TOMMY ONIONS: Is her butt bleeding?



JOSEPH GREER: Sure seems like it. Jakie doesn’t have studded boots?



Nightvasio grabs Jakie and whips him toward the ropes. Instead of hitting the ropes, Omar hits a flying roundhouse kick from the ropes!



JOSEPH GREER: Omar with the Dragon Kick to Jakie to send him from the ring!



TOMMY ONIONS: Deadweight sent packing.



Omar glances at the downed Amishboy and Nightvasio takes advantage of the moment to hit a German suplex. She bridges up for the pinfall attempt.



One



Tw-Omar kicks out!



Nightvasio gets to her feet, Omar jumping up to meet her. A quick exchange of punches sends Omar spinning chest first into the corner. A quick hop up and Nightvasio hits a reverse frankensteiner!



Nightvasio is up before Omar can recover, applying a standing figure four leglock. Omar reaches for the ropes, but he’s in the middle of the ring. He tries to get Nightvasio to break the hold, but she has it cinched in tight.



TOMMY ONIONS: There’s only going to be one good way to break this hold and it was pioneered by the father of Marcus Anderson.



JOSEPH GREER: What might that be?



In desperation, Omar reaches up the skirt of Nightvasio.



TOMMY ONIONS: Surprise finger in the butt!



Nightvasio doesn’t break the hold or seem perturbed. In fact, she grinds against Omar’s hand a little, applying even more pressure on the hold. The ref frowns and checks to see if Omar will surrender the match. He shakes his head “No” while yelling in pain.



Jakie rolls back into the ring within sight of Nightvasio. She breaks the hold, kicks Jakie in the gut, and hits a cutter! Nightvasio quickly goes for the pinfall against the Amish while Omar clutches at his knee in pain.



One



Two



Three!



TOMMY ONIONS: It’s all over! Nightvasio was molested by Omar, but she still picked up the win!



JOSEPH GREER: Nightvasio winning with the Cutter of the Common People after being…molested…in this match.



Omar starts to get up, but Nightvasio grabs her by the arm, and-



JOSEPH GREER: Nightvasio with the Nightingale against Omar for the finger in the butt!



TOMMY ONIONS: While he’s out, I might sneak up there, and sniff his finger. For educational purposes…



JOSEPH GREER: You are just disgusting!

[vastrix]

BOB MOONEY: This next contest is scheduled for one fall! Featuring first the challenger…Andi Snow!

“No Tears Left to Cry” by Ariana Grande begins to play as Andi Snow walks out from the back, posing for the cheering crowd. She blushes angrily when a loud male fan yells for her to take off her top again.



She shakes her head, mouthing something back to the pervert fan as she makes her way down to the ring.

TOMMY ONIONS: I don’t know what she’s upset about.



JOSEPH GREER: Maybe she doesn’t want to be like Jessica King and wrestling with her top off the entire match?



TOMMY ONIONS: Maybe she could bring those sweet things oger here and whip them out so daddy can do quality control.



JOSEPH GREER: There’s so much wrong with that statement that I don’t even know where to begin.



BOB MOONEY: And her opponent…Apathy!



“You Call Me a Bitch” by Halestorm begins playing as Elizabeth “Apathy” O’Rourke walks out from the back with a wicked smile as she looks down to the ring at her opponent. She has a microphone in hand as she sneers.



APATHY: You think that I’m going to buy you clothing because you were so bubble headed enough to get yours ripped off? It’s fucking lesson time.



Apathy throws down the microphone and begins walking down to the ring.



TOMMY ONIONS: Do you think that Apathy is going to teach Andi how to properly been a whore?



JOSEPH GREER: I think that-

TOMMY ONIONS: I know. I know. We can only hope that Andi can pick up on Apathy’s whoring ways. I need a good rodeo.



As the bell rings to start the match, Apathy lunges into a straight punch aimed at Andi’s jaw. Andi ducks to the side, bending at the waist to dodge the blow. She grabs Apathy, hitting a quick hip toss. Apathy rolls with the move, getting back to her feet.



Apathy spins around, but catches legs around her head as Andi brings her down with a headscissors takedown.



Apathy responds with a jump up, narrowly dodging another kick that would have taken her in the chest. She grabs the offending leg about the knee, but Andi completes her motion by using her other leg to kick Apathy in the gut.



Apathy releases Andi to let her fall to the mat, but Andi does a quick backwards somersault to get back to her feet. She does a quick cartwheel to dodge another clumsy charge, but Apathy puts on the brakes and snaps a back elbow to catch Andi in the back of the head as she comes back to a standing position.



Apathy grabs Andi by the head, hits a knee to the gut, and throws her down to the mat. Before Andi can get up, Apathy kicks her in the ribcage to roll her over.

A stomp finds nothing but mat as Andi rolls out of the way, getting to her feet. Andi whips Apathy into the corner and follows, hitting an avalanche frankensteiner. A quick cover sees the referee scrambling to get into position.



One



Two



Apathy kicks out!



TOMMY ONIONS: You know that Elizabeth used to have a relationship with Valora? Whore on whore action. Kinky.



JOSEPH GREER: How would you know this? Maybe I don’t want to know.



Andi pulls Apathy to her feet, but is stunned with a quick European uppercut and whipped into the corner. A quick rush sends an elbow crashing into Andi’s chest before Apathy looks like that she locks in a bear hug around Andi and the turnbuckles?



JOSEPH GREER: What is she doing?

TOMMY ONIONS: It looks like she’s adjusting something on the turnbuck- Oh wow!



Elizabeth steps back away at the ref’s urging, a sneer on her face. Andi begins to walk out of the corner when she’s pulled back suddenly! Andi tries to turn around to see what she’s caught on, but cannot.



TOMMY ONIONS: Apathy just handcuffed the back of Andi’s top to the tag rope! Holy shit!



JOSEPH GREER: That seems like a low thing to do.



TOMMY ONIONS: You know it! Consider this the real hazing of Andi Snow!



Andi tries to get away from the corner, but finds that she cannot. Elizabeth laughs as she begins delivering blow after blow against Andi that send her rocking backwards into the corner. The ref yells at Elizabeth until he finally has had enough and begins to count.



One



Two

Three



Four



Fiv-Elizabeth backs away from the now bleeding Andi.



APATHY: How do you like me now?



The ref checks on Andi’s bleeding nose and then begins trying to get her free from the corner. He looks to Apathy and motions for a key. Elizabeth just chuckles with a shrug.



APATHY: Oops! Must have forgotten the key!



JOSEPH GREER: How is she going to get free of the corner if there isn’t a key?



TOMMY ONIONS: I know how. It’s gonna be a repeat performance!



JOSEPH GREER: Repeat of what? Oh no!



Andi tries to pull herself free while Apathy stands back and laughs until she too realizes what needs to be done to free herself.

Andi sighs and drops down and out of her top to the screaming/cheering of the crowd.



TOMMY ONIONS: Oh my fucking gawd!



Apathy comes at Andi and she bounces off the corner, hitting a springboard tornado ddt! She goes for the cover!



One



Two



Three!



BOB MOONEY: Winner of the match via pinfall…Andi Snow!



The ref takes off his own shirt, handing it to Andi as she rises to her feet so that she can put it on.



TOMMY ONIONS: Sweet Jesus that is some white man boobies there!



JOSEPH GREER: He did the gentlemanly thing to do by offering his own shirt. I think someone is going to find either a key or a bolt cutter to get the top free of the ring.



Andi Snow heads to the back as Apathy slaps the mat in anger. She eyes the topless referee, who beats a hasty retreat to the back as well.

[vastrix]

TOMMY ONIONS: It seems that we’ve got something going on backstage.



JOSEPH GREER: Yes, it seems one of our more vocal wrestlers wants to have a few words.



The camera pans up to an unknown room. It seems to be a dark room; draped in the background is the flag of Iraq. Underneath it hanging in criss cross fashion are two scimitars.



The camera slowly zooms out from being located on the flag, to the whole room. A figure is seen sitting in the middle of the room. He is tied to a chair and is blindfolded. He is wearing a Donald Trump mask.



Three figures stomps into the centre of the room; they are all dressed in combat fatigues and have their faces covered with Arabic headscarves.



The first of these men stands in front of the others. He swings his head from side to side, his glare from behind the headscarf drilling into the RSW viewers watching from their living rooms and the arena.



MAN: Allah Akbar. We are here to show you the RSW viewers and the world that we are more than what we seem. You think we are racial stereotypes that will take anything you throw at us? You look at us and you see a group of terrorists who would do anything for their ideals. You see us and you condemn us for the actions we take. But how different from what you think of us are we? Do you really know us? Do you know what it is like to be thought of just because we are different? You American’s sit in your living rooms viewing us on your television sat on your sofas in your food stained clothing that we are terrorists?



He walks around the man on the chair.



MAN: You think because we are different from you that you are better than us? You treat the rest of the world like your very own personal play pen. You treat us like things that you have wiped off of your shoes. You think of us as lesser beings than you. But times have to change. If we allow you to get away with it now it will be a vicious circle. If you think of us as terrorist why don’t we play you at your own game? Could you take it? Would you be cowering in your house, unable to go out without fearing the reprisal of armed forces wandering your streets? How do you think we felt in Iraq with your thugs on our streets? And don’t get me started on the rest of the world.



He puts his hand on the shoulder of the man tied to the chair.



MAN: If we were really terrorists we would have taken the scimitar off of the wall and beheaded this infidel for sins against Allah. Do you not want to treat us like you have not done yourselves? Did you feel pity for the British Soldiers that you sent back in coffins during your fight for Independence? Did you feel guilty for all the innocence civilians you killed in Hiroshima? Bringing it all up to today, do you feel guilty for what you have done to the innocent children that you have put in internment camps? Why should we feel guilty for what happens to your invading forces. Who cares that we send you troops back in one piece or worse, in a body bag; for we are like the French Resistance and you are like the Nazi invaders……………



With one hand, he reaches up and pulls the scarf free from his face. His beard is cut prim and proper. It is Abdul Bin Hussain. One of the other men takes off his scarf also; it is Rafiq, Abdul’s obese associate. Standing at the rear is the Somali monster Akeed.



Abdul removes the fatigue top and with the scarf lays them over a black chair; with his back to the camera he reveals his scarred upper torso. He sits on the chair and stares into the camera. He turns to Akeed.



ABDUL BIN HUSSAIN: It is well documented that it is not the Arabian Nations that the world should be afraid of; it is the United States of Mediocre. Not only is its last leader, the leader of one of the most powerful nations on the planet not in complete control of his mental faculties but it is a nation built of bullying and scare tactics but it’s latest one thinks he can save the world too. You send your forces around the planet to save it. Those Marines of yours tried to bully the world but failed in the ways.



He caresses his beard.



ABDUL BIN HUSSAIN: You see, Yugoslavia, Japan, Syria, Vietnam, Indonesia, Afghanistan, China, North Korea, Guatemala, Cuba, Congo, Peru, Libya, Iraq, Laos, Cambodia, Grenada, Panama, Bosnia, Sudan, El Salvador, Nicaragua and my associates home, Somalia……………What have these countries all got in common?



Rafiq shrugs his shoulders.



RAFIQ: I don’t know?



ABDUL BIN HUSSAIN: What have these places in common I hear you ask? They have 8 million things in common. 8 Millions Dead among those 23 nations and why? Why you ask? All of those countries have been bombed in the last 75 years by a country that thinks that it is better than everyone? A country that thinks it can dictate its ways to the rest of the world. How naive of them to think we would take it.



RAFIQ: Really? But they believe they are doing the right thing?



ABDUL BIN HUSSAIN: Rafiq, let this infidel go.



Rafiq undoes the ropes and takes off the blindfold. The man puts his hand out to Abdul. Abdul looks at it with disdain and then nods at Rafiq. Rafiq hands the man a crisp 100 dollar bill.



ABDUL BIN HUSSAIN: You see this is typical of you Americans you could be bought so easily even your politicians are corrupt like that. You Americans think you’re the guardians of the rest of the world. But no, the rest of the world is beginning to work it out what you are all about. That is why the United States of Mediocre is no longer classed as a super power. Can you hear that?



He holds his left hand up to his left ear.



ABDUL BIN HUSSAIN: Can you hear it? It is the rest of the world waking up to the hypocrisy of the American people. You think you are better than everybody and that anyone that will not accept it will be trampled under your mighty feet. We will not stand for it anymore. We will not let you dominate us anymore.



A sly smile crosses his face for a second.



ABDUL BIN HUSSAIN: With the next Riot Star Wrestling pay per view Riot Rules in a few weeks we realised that the company was doing everything it could to keep Akeed off of their screens. With all of you American’s against us we will need a challenge, but a challenge Akeed can relish. It will be an interesting experience and I hope to bring some of you around to my way of thinking.



He shakes his head and scratches his beard. He touches the scars on his upper torso.



ABDUL BIN HUSSAIN: You see this all started on a somewhat normal day is my hometown of Basra, Iraq. January 25th 1999, a young man of 17 with his young wife and baby boy were sat in their house eating dinner. It was a peaceful and lovely scene which was destroyed when a US Warplane dropped one of its missiles into the civilian area where this family was. Eleven people died that day and fifty nine people were injured. Amongst the dead were the young man’s wife and child.



RAFIQ: What is the art of war, because it is not for killing people, it’s a stratagem to give life to many by killing the evil perpetrated by a few.



Abdul nods as he walks around.



ABDUL BIN HUSSAIN: Discriminating use of violence as a last resort, and even then, carefully, surgically, that’s what I learned, that’s what I’m good at. But now they underestimate all this, bomb the same towns for six weeks and still leave the scumbag dictator to starve and butcher his own people.



Rafiq nods and looks into the camera.



RAFIQ: Abdul had problems with his time in United States of Mediocre. First he had problems with the women of this country; Woman who are not wearing a burqa and also would have been stoned for their sins against Allah if they were in Iraq.



ABDUL BIN HUSSAIN: We have to bring it this week upon Riot Rules, even though the show is live from South Africa we do not need to prove ourselves to the infidels from the United States of Infidels but to myself and the Arab Nations that I represent. That is why Akeed will be putting out this challenge.



Akeed nodded as he looks directly down the lens.



ABDUL BIN HUSSAIN: Trump, you’ve become this keyboard warrior for who you think are the oppressed within your own country whilst pocketing your millions. Time is enough. Akeed challenges YOU to step between the ropes and face him at Riot Rules. Do you have the balls little man?



RAFIQ: This madman is going to be made examples of. He will be sacrificed for being an infidel. He is not even in the same league as Akeed. He has been blessed with luck in the past but that is what it is; the past.



Abdul cocks his head to the side, and then tilts it backwards before looking at the camera.



ABDUL BIN HUSSAIN: We have been here a few months now and have already been disrespected by many. They have tried to keep us off of television so the fans of RSW get people like Soothsayer and Havok stuffed down their throats but now…….



He stands up, angrily. Grabbing the chair he throws it against the wall, sending his fatigue top and scarf to the floor. Anger flowed from him. A look of bewilderment appears on his face. His hands convulsed into fists, neck jerking, as if he’d had a jolt of electricity through it; a tremor runs up his arms into his shoulders, along his spine.



ABDUL BIN HUSSAIN: Donald Trump, yes you. You will face Akeed in the squared circle if you think you’ve got the balls. You will face the wrath of Akeed. You will be defeated by the Somali monster before you.



He turns and starts walking around, caressing the scars on his torso.



ABDUL BIN HUSSAIN: This reminds me of a time back in my wrestling days. I was on a show wrestling some guy called Madman Szalinski, he reminds me of you Trump hiding behind some online persona that thinks he is better than everybody but the UTA survived without him so Trump don’t be an infidel and convert.



He cocks his head to the side and listens.



ABDUL BIN HUSSAIN: For there is no God but Allah, and Mohammed is his messenger. And I am Mohammed’s messenger to you.



His mouth curls up.



ABDUL BIN HUSSAIN: Akeed will put on a showcase performance that will convert the audience.



He turns and walks off set, but pauses before he leaves, turns and looks deep in the camera.



ABDUL BIN HUSSAIN: Allah Akbar!

[vastrix]

BOB MOONEY: This next contest is scheduled for-



CROWD: One fall!



BOB MOONEY: Quiet! Featuring first the challenger…Nallo Sivad!



“Smooth Criminal” by Alien Ant Farm begins to play as Nallo Sivad walks out from the back to the cheering of the crowd. He makes his way down to the ring at a light jog.



TOMMY ONIONS: This guy has it right. Wear a mask so no one can tell how much you’re bleeding.



JOSEPH GREER: I think that he wears a mask for another reason.



BOB MOONEY: And his opponent…Shane Mitchell!



“Fool’s Gold” by the Stone Roses begins playing as Shane Mitchell sweeps out from the back to the jeering fans. He stands with a sadistic grin as the fans continue to boo him loudly.



JOSEPH GREER: Look at him. At least at one time he looked like a respectable priest. Now he looks like a common back alley thug.



TOMMY ONIONS: An uncommon back alley thug that’ll kick your ass in a heartbeat.



JOSEPH GREER: Probably over a chicken sandwich too.



TOMMY ONIONS: What? Someone sure got bold.



Shane Mitchell makes his way down to the ring, keeping his eyes on Nallo Sivad.



TOMMY ONIONS: This Nallo is going to get beaten like he owes Shane money.



JOSEPH GREER: That doesn’t seem fair.



As the bell rings to start the match, Shane Mitchell drills Nallo Sivad in the side of the head with such a solid right hand that Nallo staggers back to the corner.



Shane reaches out with his left hand, hooks his thumb into the eye hole to grasp the mask, and begins to whale on Nallo with his right hand.



It doesn’t take long for the ref to get involved, getting Shane to release Nallo so that can can fall backward to lean against the turnbuckles. He adjusts his mask, blood streaming from the bottom of the mask. Shane glares at the man with a sadistic smile, blood dripping from his split knuckles like rain.



Nallo nods to the ref to indicate that he’s alright. The ref steps out from in between the two for Shane to sweep in and strike Nallo in the chest with a big boot hard enough to send Nallo bouncing off of the turnbuckles to the mat.



Shane measures his opponent and punt kicks him in the side of the jaw, sending spittle and blood spraying out of the ring.



Shane drags Nallo up and hits a double underhook ddt!



JOSEPH GREER: Sudden Death already?



TOMMY ONIONS: That doesn’t mean that it’s the end of the match though. You see that Shane isn’t going for the pinfall.



Shane pulls Nallo up and into the air before hitting the Last Stand (fisherman’s brainbuster). He hooks the front of Nallo’s mask again so that he can use the match as a handle to smash the back of the man’s head against the mat over and over again.



JOSEPH GREER: I think Nallo is finished.



TOMMY ONIONS: The real question is, is Shane finished with him?



JOSEPH GREER: That is a good question.



Shane pulls the limp Nallo up again and hits another double underhook ddt before going for the pinfall.



One



Two



Thre-Shane kneels up with a cruel smile.



TOMMY ONIONS: I think that Shane Mitchell is trying to make a point here. Don’t put him on the undercard.



JOSEPH GREER: Point made.



Shane tries to pick Nallo up again for another ddt, but finds that he just cannot rise to the occasion. He eventually hefts Nallo up into a torture rack. Nallo doesn’t react in pain to the move, causing the ref to just signal for the bell.



BOB MOONEY: Winner of the match by submission…Shane Mitchell!



Shane drops Nallo’s limp form to the mat, posing for the booing fans.



TOMMY ONIONS: You know I heard that that hot piece of ass that used to follow him around offed herself.



JOSEPH GREER: Tommy! I don’t think that we’re supposed to talk about that. At the very least we should be using the name Tiffany instead of “hot piece of ass”.



Shane Mitchell makes his way to the back, being sure to step on Nallo on his way out of the ring.



TOMMY ONIONS: Someone is going to be pissed about how this match turned out.



JOSEPH GREER: I think one should get what they put into this.



TOMMY ONIONS: Are you saying that Nallo fought like he wasn’t even around?



JOSEPH GREER: I’m not saying a thing.

[vastrix]

Backstage, Dagvald Riddik is seen walking down the hallway after cleaning up from his match. He stops in his tracks when he sees Armand von Krauss standing in his path.



DAGVALD RIDDIK: You blocking the way for a reason?



Armand strikes a match, striking a match to light his Egyptian cigarette.



ARMAND VON KRAUSS: Walk with me.



Dagvald gives Armand a curious look, but shrugs and begins walking down the hallway alongside him.



ARMAND VON KRAUSS: You did very well in your match tonight. I wanted to talk to you about your future here.



DAGVALD RIDDIK: My future here? Bright.



Armand blows smoke into the air with a chuckle.



ARMAND VON KRAUSS: I am having some troubles with one of the other talents taking some time off suddenly and I have an opening in a match at Riot’s Rules that I would like you to fill.



Dagvald frowns a little as he listens, but nods his head.



DAGVALD RIDDIK: That’s what I’m here for. Kick some butt. Who you needing me to beat down?



ARMAND VON KRAUSS: I think that I want you to take on Kevin Rouser for the Legacy title.



It takes a moment of walking before Armand notices that Dagvald has stopped in his tracks. He stops and turns around to see Dagvald standing there with wide eyes.



DAGVALD RIDDIK: My second match here you want me to contend for a title?



Armand blows a stream of smoke with a smile.



ARMAND VON KRAUSS: Why not? You are a talented wrestler with an interesting belief system. Defeat the crass clown that Rouser is and become Legacy champion.



DAGVALD RIDDIK: I’ll tear open Kevin Rouser and lay claim to that championship forever!



Armand chuckles as he flicks ashes onto the floor.



ARMAND VON KRAUSS: That’s the kind of thing I like to hear. Beat Rouser until he either makes sense or leaves my ring.



Armand walks away with a trail of smoke behind him as he leaves Dagvald alone with his thoughts.

[vastrix]

BOB MOONEY: The following contest is scheduled for one fall…and is for the RSW Anarchy Championship.



The crowd cheers at the announcement, both men had been on a roll as of late. The match had been built as the champion not wanting to just defend but head into Riot’s Rules with momentum.



JOSEPH GREER: What a night it’s been Tommy! I’m in shock from what we just saw and there’s still a ton of action left! Bottom line, Kevin Rouser is still the RSW Legacy Champion!



TOMMY ONIONS: You say it like it a surprise Greer! ROUsEr has finally seen the light and look at him?! Legacy Champion!



‘Whiskey and Ritalin’ by Fair to Midland blasts through the sound system sending a fair portion of the crowd into cheers for the fighting Irishman.



The challenger stepped threw the curtain looking ready to channel his anger and frustration into his attempt to dethrone the champion. Months of torment at the hands of Armand Von Krauss, the injury to his wife and tag team partner. Her eminent recovery seemed to do little to ease his pain.



He would use all of his emotions to batter the champion until he could take no more. His anger, his frustration, the feeling of helplessness he held when he watched his wife carried away, he would use it all.



BOB MOONEY: Introducing first, the challenger…from Leitrum, Ireland. Weighing in at two hundred and forty five pounds…Eoin O’Rourke!!!



Now he was going out to stun the world. Then head to Riot’s Rules to do it again.



JOSEPH GREER: As O’ Rourke makes the walk here tonight, this has to be a tough one for him. His wife and tag team partner is out with an injury, Marcus Anderson and Chris Parsons have branched off to do their own thing. Eoin is on his own for the first time in a long time Tommy.



Determination is etched in his features, possibly indicating that the champion’s words leading up to tonight had struck a nerve.



TOMMY ONIONS: And just like Rouser he’s winning matches and now has a chance to be Anarchy Champion. So what does that tell you?



Tommy had a point, Liz wasn’t competing and yet Eoin had put together a series of victories and now found himself one match away from being Anarchy Champion.



JOSEPH GREER: Are you suggesting Eoin is better off on his own?



Making his way down the ramp, fans slap him on the back as he passes, respect from the people to one of their own. Not literally of course, yet Eoin represented something missing in today’s professional wrestling…A working class hero.



TOMMY ONIONS: Well in general I think marriage is a bad idea, but yeah I guess. O’Rourke should go lone wolf on this bitch. Oh my God! New gimmick…ginger wolf!



As Joseph Greer audibly facepalms, Eoin raises his arms in the ring, tests the ropes and looks to be focused and ready as he awaits his opponent.



BOB MOONEY: And his opponent…hailing from Parts Unknown and weighing in at two hundred and thirteen pounds, he is the RSW Anarchy Champion, he is ‘D’!!



‘Freak’ by Silverchair begins prompting the stage to darken. Coming through the curtain into the shadows, ‘D’ holds the Anarchy title high above his head. Keeping it there as he walks the center of the entrance ramp.



JOSEPH GREER: And here’s the reigning Anarchy Champion Tommy. He had a lot to say leading up to tonight. Chief among them that he doesn’t need to be World Heavyweight Champion as long as he heads to Riot’s Rules to face The founder himself!



TOMMY ONIONS: But only if he wins Greer. And I got money on the luck of the Irish!



JOSEPH GREER: I don’t think it would be luck Tommy, Eoin O’Rourke has been on a roll lately including a win over former RSW World Heavyweight Champion Ruby Walsh!



Rounding the corner to circle the ring, fans slap him on the back and cheer as he makes his way all around the ring before entering.



TOMMY ONIONS: Certainly took his time walking around the ring, doesn’t this guy get that we pay for air time?



JOSEPH GREER: He said that the Anarchy Championship is the championship of the people Tommy, maybe he’s taking pride in being Anarchy Champion.



TOMMY ONIONS: It’s like being proud of a bronze medal Joey. Sure you’re better than a lot of people, but Ricky Bobby said it best, “If you ain’t first, you’re last!”



DING! DING!! DING!!!



Each man starts circling center ring counter clockwise, each watching for an opportunity.



JOSEPH GREER: Priceless fictional advice from Will Ferrel aside, there’s the bell to get this Anarchy Championship match started! Both men circle the center of the ring.



TOMMY ONIONS: Ricky Bobby was based on a real dude though.



Both men lock up in a collar and elbow tie up.



JOSEPH GREER: Lockup here…neither man wants to back down…



Almost immediately, O’Rourke uses his size and strength advantage to rush ‘D’ back into a corner.



JOSEPH GREER: O’Rourke bullying the champion into the corner! He’s unloading!



Swinging wildly, Eoin blasts lefts and rights as the enigma does his best to simply cover up and endure the onslaught.



1…



……2…



…………3…



………………4…



Stepping between both men, Shawna looks to enforce her authority. Reminding O’Rourke that if he continues he’ll be disqualified.



TOMMY ONIONS: What the hell is Shawna doing?!



JOSEPH GREER: That would be her job Tommy. She’s enforcing the rules.



Backing off O’Rourke, Shawna checks on ‘D’.



TOMMY ONIONS: That’s some bullshit here there! If O’Rourke didn’t have to back up he’d have beat the shit out of ‘D’ and…wait!!! Yes!



Only laying off the gas for a moment, the crowd cheers as Eoin rushes back in with a series of lefts and rights before dropping to the canvas as he whips ‘D’ to the opposite corner.



TOMMY ONIONS: Now this is the way to get things done Greer! Oh shit!



With the added force, the enigma has no time to turn his back to the impact as he’s slammed chest first into the turnbuckles, popping out into a running lariat from O’Rourke!



JOSEPH GREER: Huge Irish whip followed up by crushing lariat, Eoin has the cover!



1…



…..2…



JOSEPH GREER: Lightning almost struck! O’Rourke has made a habit lately of ending matches in an instant!



Dragging ‘D’ to his feet, O’Rourke slams a right forearm into the champion’s head before Irish whipping ‘D’ to the ropes.



JOSEPH GREER: Dragging him to his feet, a forearm shot and another Irish whip into the ropes…



Ducking my another clothesline attempt from Eoin, ‘D’ gains momentum as he hits the far ropes.



JOSEPH GREER: …clothesline attempt ducked by ‘D’ back off the far ropes with a head of steam, duck under…oh!



Attempting to duck past his opponent again, this time O’Rourke smashes the enigma with a stunning right knee to the side of the head.



TOMMY ONIONS: Ha! Holy shit! He’s out! New champion! Fuck yeah! Daddy needs a new pair of everything!



The force of the blow and ‘D’s’ own momentum send him rolling under the ropes and thudding to the floor.



JOSEPH GREER: ‘D’s’ landed outside the ring, titles only change hands on pinfall or submission!



TOMMY ONIONS: Oh shit! Get him Eoin! Get his ass back in the ring! Daddy needs a new pair of everything!



1…



……2…



Eoin rolls under the ropes, standing over ‘D’ a stomp affirms his worst suspicion. He was practically unconscious.



…………..3…



………………..4…



JOSEPH GREER: Shawna’s already at four, Eoin looks like he has a plan.



Dragging him to the steel steps, O’Rourke lands a short right hand as he postures his prey into a seated position.



……………………..5…



…………………………..6…



TOMMY ONIONS: Plan or not, that’s six! I bet on a new Champion not just a win!



Dragging ‘D’ to his feet, he leans him back against the ring post on spaghetti legs.



………………………………..7…



JOSEPH GREER: I’m not so sure O’Rourke cares Tommy, he might just want to beat some respect into the Champion. Eoin setting up…



Backing up, Eoin looks to break the champion as he launches his all into a running boot!



……………………………………..8…



Dodging the attack by essentially dropping to the mat, Eoin grazes his shin and slams his knee straight into the ring post before dropping to the outside mats clutching his right leg.



JOSEPH GREER: Oh! Desperation counter by ‘D’! I’m not sure, he might have just collapsed. O’Rourke is down!



……………………………………………9….



Barely rolling onto the apron, ‘D’ rolls back under the rope, sitting up to lean against the ropes, breaking the count.



TOMMY ONIONS: Nooooooo!



JOSEPH GREER: Count broken by the champion, who’s getting a much needed moment to clear the cobwebs and get back into a match that’s been all O’Rourke since the bell rung!



…1…



……..2…



TOMMY ONIONS: See, that shit is why he ain’t ever gonna be champion Greer. He could have had a nice, easy count out, but nooooooooo…he has to have honour and shit!



JOSEPH GREER: I hate to agree with you Tommy.



TOMMY ONIONS: But????



JOSEPH GREER: Nothing, I just hate to agree with you.



Keeping a watchful eye on O’Rourke, ‘D’ only hops down from the apron as Eoin begins to get to his feet.



JOSEPH GREER: ‘D’ now back to the floor, measuring O’Rourke…what’s he thinking here?



……………3…



…………………4…



………………………5…



A running chop block sends Eoin back to the mats while the champion rolls back in the ring.



JOSEPH GREER: Ohhh! A chop block to what has to be a banged up knee! Maybe ‘D’ is willing to take the count out after all!



TOMMY ONIONS: Maybe he’s not as dumb as he looks!



……………………………..6…



…………………………………..7…



Leaning in the corner, ‘D’ makes no motion towards O’Rourke, seeming content with a count out, a win by any means still sent him to Riot’s Rules with the title intact.



JOSEPH GREER: I think that’s exactly his plan, Eoin is trying to claw his way back into the ring! Seven!



………………………………………..8…



JOSEPH GREER: He’s almost on his feet! O’Rourke is almost…



……………………………………………..9…



……………………………………………….1…on one leg, O’Rourke dives into the ring with milliseconds to spare.



JOSEPH GREER: He made it!



TOMMY ONIONS: Yes! Come on O’Rourke!



Staring across the ring from each other once more, the crowd cheers as the battered champion and the now limping challenger meet at center ring for a second time.



JOSEPH GREER: Now we have a match! Both men are wounded and daring the other to give in!



TOMMY ONIONS: Stop this bullshit and rake him in the eyes and grab a handful of tights so I can grab a handful of money!



JOSEPH GREER: Pilar of sportsmanship, Tommy Onions everybody!



Locking up for a second time, Eoin can’t simply overpower ‘D’ this time causing a stalemate.



Perhaps realizing his brute force approach wouldn’t work a second time, Eoin brings a knee up into the ribs of the champion.



TOMMY ONIONS: If you not cheating, you’re not trying Greer. That knee for example, sure Eoin COULD have just powered ‘D’ back again, but rather than force his knee, he just forced it into ‘D’s’ ribs!



Sending the enigma into the ropes, O’Rourke launches ‘D’ into the air…



JOSEPH GREER: O’Rourke sending ‘D’ to the ropes, the set up, he’s thinking pop up Irish Car Bomb…



In the air, ‘D’ counters snapping O’Rourke over with a hurricanrana hooking the legs.



JOSEPH GREER: …what a counter! Hurricanrana! He’s got the legs!



1…



…..2…



………..3!!!



TOMMY ONIONS: Nooooo! My money! Damn it!



JOSEPH GREER: What a counter! Reacting in a millisecond and rolling up O’Rourke for the one two three! And still Anarchy Champion…’D’!



As Tommy attempts to convert to local currency to see how much he’s lost, Bob Mooney makes it official.



BOB MOONEY: Your winner…and STILL RSW Anarchy Champion…’D’!!!



TOMMY ONIONS: Where’s Reaper when I need him? He was always good for an upset!



JOSEPH GREER: Who knows Tommy, maybe we can get someone to start following up with our past talent. A ‘where are they now’ sort of thing, but later tonight it’s about the future…later tonight we have the RSW World Heavyweight Championship contract signing between Former Champion Shane Mitchell…and Current Champion Dylan Erickson! Stay tuned!

[vastrix]

BOB MOONEY: The following contest is scheduled for one fall…and is for the RSW Legacy Championship.



The fans cheer anticipating an exciting rematch from Anarchy Thirty Seven!



BOB MOONEY: Introducing first, the challenger…from San Diego, California, weighing in at two hundred and forty pounds…he is Isaiah Zepp!!!



The RioTron suddenly comes to life with a barrage of colors and lightning motifs, and the word ZEPP races across the large screen, followed by the words THE ALL-SEEING.



JOSEPH GREER: Here comes the former Legacy Champion, I. Zepp! He’ll be looking to regain his title and show everyone that ‘Risen rOUsEr’ just got lucky last time out.



TOMMY ONIONS: Re-Peat! Re-peat! Re-peat!



JOSEPH GREER: Not this again!



TOMMY ONIONS: Fuck yeah! We’re looking to re-peat! Re-peat! Re-peat! What happened last match!



JOSEPH GREER: Really? You’re going along with this?!



TOMMY ONIONS: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssssssssssss! *coughs* Ummm…yes.



The crowd leaps collectively to its feet as the dynamic-looking Former Legacy Champion bursts from the back, the strap shining brightly around his waist.



The shrieking guitar from the song “Governed by Contagions” by At the Drive-In, and a bright white light flashes all around the arena.



TOMMY ONIONS: Zepp was great and all as champ but I’m Risen now Joey! Risen Rouser will ascend the star of Robert of Riot!



JOSEPH GREER: What?



TOMMY ONIONS: Not sure Greer, but the gimmick only works if you play along…get to it…



Zepp wears a dark hoodie with the letters STFU in gold on the back and pleather pants, one leg colored white, the other a dark violet.



JOSEPH GREER: Regardless, Zepp looks ready and eager to regain his title.



BOB MOONEY: Introducing his opponent… From Sheffield, England…weighing in at two hundred and twenty pounds…he is the RSW Legacy Champion…Kevin Rouser!



The crowd cheers as ”So Begins Our Alabee” by Of Montreal starts up over the PA.



On the RioTron, above the entrance the word ‘rOUsEr’ appears in giant, jagged letters.



JOSEPH GREER: Well…as we saw during their last match, Rouser is even more unpredictable than usual and it paid dividends for the new Legacy Champion.



TOMMY ONIONS: I told you before Greer, quit hating. Rouser’s doing his thing, don’t make him constantly re-peat! Himself.



JOSEPH GREER: That’s bound to get old quickly, how haven’t we been sued?



TOMMY ONIONS: Hater!



Rouser steps through the entrance, his arms open wide, wearing a smile of pure ecstatic wonder. The crowd pops for him; the latest evolution of the epitome of enlightenment has really connected with the fans.



JOSEPH GREER: Here comes our new Legacy Champion and oddities aside, the fans really seem behind Rouser as he makes his way to the ring.



Rouser high fives some fans at ringside, exclaiming such things as “DELIGHFUL!” and “MOMENTOUS” as he goes.



CROWD: RE-PEAT! RE-PEAT!! RE-PEAT!!!



JOSEPH GREER: Can someone get Rouser into the ring?! Please!?



TOMMY ONIONS: Chill out Greer! Rouser is getting a premonition!



DING! DING!! DING!!!



At the bell, Zepp shows a patience he lacked last time out, opting to wait for Rouser at center ring.



JOSEPH GREER: A different approach by Zepp, last time he rushed in and paid the price.



TOMMY ONIONS: Re-peat! I’m kidding Greer, but I do dig the new gimmick from rOUSeR. Zepp got beat because Rouser’s old school Greer. Zepp underestimated him for a minute and forgot Rouser’s been doing this about as long as Zepp’s been alive!



Locking up, the veteran grappler transitions from a collar and elbow tie up into a back waist lock with ease.



rOUSeR: Yeeeeeeeesssssssssss!



Taking advantage of rOUSeR’s lack of focus a pair of swift back elbows breaks Kevin’s grip.



JOSEPH GREER: A pair of elbows frees Isaiah and he into the ropes…



Rebounding, Isaiah looks to quicken the pace, leaping into the air for a cross body.



JOSEPH GREER: …Zepp now taking to the air! Oh!!!!



In mid air, rOUSeR lands a stiff right handed European uppercut that turns Isaiah into a falling reverse DDT!



TOMMY ONIONS: What the fuck was that!



JOSEPH GREER: He calls that the ‘Supernova’! What a move! What a counter by Rouser!



The crowd roars as Rouser floats over into a cover, hooligans the leg as Shawna drops to the mat.



JOSEPH GREER: He’s got the cover!



…1…



………2…



…………….3!!!



TOMMY ONIONS: DEEELIIGHTFUL!



JOSEPH GREER: WOW! Just like that Rouser hits the Supernova and it’s over!



Shawna calls for the bell and hands the Legacy title to an awestruck rOUSeR who stands above his fallen foe laughing in an over the top maniacal groan.



rOUSeR: Hahaha…..YyyyyyyyyyyYYeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssssssss



BOB MOONEY: Your winner via submission…AND STILL RSW Legacy Champion!!! Kevin Rouser!!!



rOUsEr: Yesssssssssss…DE-Lightfulllllll!!!!!!



CROWD: RE-PEAT! RE-PEAT!! RE-PEAT!!!



JOSEPH GREER: Another crushing defeat by Kevin Rouser as he now looks beyond the former champion to the rest of the roster for his next challenger!



TOMMY ONIONS: Because…say it with me Greer…he’s…WONDERFUL!!!!!

[vastrix]

TOMMY ONIONS: So Joseph, this is going to be an interesting match but does anyone really think that Havok or Harris have a chance against Rob Riot?



JOSEPH GREER: The rules of a three way dance means that anyone can win.



TOMMY ONIONS: But with the chance of representing RSW on the XHF network’s Night of Champions pay per view and wins their coveted X-Crown, now that’s something Riot won’t let passed him.



JOSEPH GREER: So who’ve you got for this?



TOMMY ONIONS: The only way Riot’s not winning this is if he is struck by lightning on the way to the ring.



JOSEPH GREER: Any way, let’s go to Bob in the ring.



BOB MOONEY: Making his way to the ring, hailing from the United Kingdom is Rob Riot!



As “I feel you” by Depeche Mode fills the arena from behind the curtain steps Rob Riot. The former member of the trilogy the Bastards receives a huge cheer. Riot proceeds to the ring touching outstretched hands as he walks. He slowly strides up the steps and looks around before entering the ring. He stretches on the ropes and adjusts the elbow pad on his right arm. He nervously ensures that the tape on his wrists is properly tight. Riot smiles and surveys the crowd as he awaits his opponents for the night.



TOMMY ONIONS: He does look a little lost since he’s stopped tagging with my Frank and that other guy.



JOSEPH GREER: Billy Fowler?



TOMMY ONIONS: Yeah the guy that got himself a mouthful of LA Kief’s pubes last show.



JOSEPH GREER: Now that was disgusting, I nearly threw up in my mouth.



TOMMY ONIONS: Havok’s got no chance in hell this match right?



JOSEPH GREER: He’s been decorated many times in his time here, plus did you see how he got rid of that guy he was tagging with the other week?



TOMMY ONIONS: Oh the guy that changed his name more times than Shane Mitchell has had stable mates?



BOB MOONEY: And his first opponent, a former RSW Tag Champion, it is Eddie Havok!



Slipknot’s “Psychosocial” blares out as the familiar figure of Eddie Havok steps through the curtains, the roar of the crowd booing the former RSW Tag Champion. Havok makes his way slowly to the ring, soaking in the boos and staring through Riot. He slides into the ring and walks right up to Riot, with neither man backing down. They exchange words and almost immediately come to blows, with both men trading right hands.



TOMMY ONIONS: Riot’s got a lot to say against this upstart. He did beat Riot and Fowler for the RSW Tag Championships with Caleb Koresh.



JOSEPH GREER: We’ve not seen Caleb or his cousin Nocturnal for a while.



TOMMY ONIONS: Yeah it’ll be interesting when that crazy family returns.



JOSEPH GREER: True, but look at these two crazy Brits attacking each other.



BOB MOONEY: And the third person in this triple threat match, Natasha Harris!



The crowd roars once more, but it wasn’t entirely for the action in the ring, as Natasha Harris appears at the top of the ramp accompanied by Rita Ora’s “Girls”. She charges to the ring, and slides into the ring.



TOMMY ONIONS: Some say she’s hot but not my cup of tea.



JOSEPH GREER: Cup of tea?



By the time she has physically interjected herself between Riot and Havok, it is evident that no punches have been pulled, as a trickle of blood is leaking from the corner of Riot’s mouth and Havok has a bright red spot on the side of his face that will likely materialize into a nice bruise. Harris shouts at both men, but this only seems to anger them more, and in their attempts to get at one another, both manage to land a hard shot to either side of Harris’s face.



TOMMY ONIONS: Damn, the girl’s been beaten.



And that was enough for her, as she begins trading punches with both men, leading to something that looks more like a rugby scrum than any kind of actual wrestling tie-up. Quickly realizing that they are going nowhere, all three wrestlers break free of one another and Riot lunges at Havok, only to be caught by an Irish whip from Harris that send him to the far ropes. On the return, he was forced to leap over Harris, who has bent over for a back body drop. As he jumps Riot is left in perfect position for a high-angle power slam from Havok, who easily catches him out of the air and drives him into the mat nearly head-first. Wasting no time, Havok places a knee on either of Riot’s shoulders and begins pummelling him with rights and lefts to the face, aggravating the split in Riot’s lip to the point that blood is now flowing freely and actually splattering slightly onto Havok’s hands with each shot.



JOSEPH GREER: Havok’s lost it.



TOMMY ONIONS: He’s taking it to Rob, damn!



JOSEPH GREER: He’s finally let loose.



Harris turns quickly and pulls Havok off of Riot, and the two wrestlers exchange words. The look of concern on her face clearly shows that Harris is having second thoughts about this match, but she has been right about one thing: Havok and Riot are more intent on pummelling one another than they are on winning the shot at the XHF pay per view. Riot gets to his feet and shoves Havok hard in the back, which sends him careening into Harris. The two wrestlers were close enough when the push occurred that their heads connected with one another, and Riot looked for the quick roll-up, hooking Havok with an inside cradle.



………..1



…………….2



………….Kick Out!



TOMMY ONIONS: Too soon to try and pin the Essex boy it seems.



JOSEPH GREER: He’s a biker boy not some orange person Tommy.



Both Riot and Havok get to their feet and begin to pummel one another once more. However, when Havok starts to gain the advantage, Riot wastes no time in catching one of his punches and sending him towards the ropes with an Irish whip. Unfortunately for Havok, his collision with the ropes isn’t meant to be, and he is met with something much less forgiving: the unyielding arm of Harris, who clotheslines Havok down without a second thought. Riot charges Harris, but she grabs Riot by the neck and the tights and tosses him to the outside of the ring.



JOSEPH GREER: Harris has enough left in her to throw out the fan favourite.



TOMMY ONIONS: She needs to divide and conquer if she wants to survive.



Turning her attention back to Havok, Harris pulls him up from the mat and tries to hoist him into the air only to have Havok flip free and land behind her. Wasting no time, Havok quickly drops Harris to the mat with a falling reverse neck breaker, rolling on top of Harris almost immediately for the cover.



………………1



………………2



……………Harris gets a shoulder up. As this drama plays out in the ring, on the outside, the momentarily forgotten third competitor in the match has ideas of his own. Riot reaches under the ring and extracts a table from the various items that can be found below, which draws him a sizable cheer. Sliding into the ring with his newfound plunder, Riot gets quickly to his feet and charges at his opponents, but with the table effectively blocking his view, he is unaware that Harris has seen him out of the corner of her eye and is prepared for the charge. Deftly sidestepping Riot, she executes a drop toehold that sends Riot crashing forward into Havok and sandwiches the table between the two superstars.



TOMMY ONIONS: She’s actually dictating the speed in this match. So surprised with this.



JOSEPH GREER: She’s surprising me as when you see her backstage she seems quite vacant.



Quickly getting back to her feet, Harris backs away a few steps in order to get a running start, which allows her to dive onto the top of the pile, eliciting a huge cheer from around the ring and groans from the men beneath her. Satisfied that she’d have a moment’s peace, Harris pulls Riot off of the top of the pile and then proceeds to set the table up near the ropes. No sooner had she ensured that the legs are indeed locked into place, Harris finds herself pulled quickly around and into an Irish whip by Riot; however, Harris reverses the whip and sends Riot hurtling towards the opposite ropes, though he has to leap over Havok to get to them. On the return, Riot drops an elbow onto the still-prone Havok, but this in turn leaves him easy prey for Harris, who lifts him up and executes a DDT on him. However, Havok hasn’t had to worry about a table when he was coming down, and Riot’s impact with the table is doubly sickening because it fails to break, leaving him clutching his back as Harris turns her attention back to Havok.



TOMMY ONIONS: Ouch, that’s got to hurt.



JOSEPH GREER: Maybe we’ll try that on you later.



Havok surprises Harris with an uppercut as Harris bent to pick him up, and, moving quickly, Havok executes a swinging neck breaker on Harris. Rather than going for the cover, though, he has another agenda, and he ascends the nearest turnbuckle with all the speed he can muster, before leaping off with a picture-perfect cross body splash that finally puts Riot through the table and leaves both men in a mess of bodies and broken wood. However, it also left Havok on the better end of a pinning predicament, and the official slides into place to make the count.



…………….1



………………2



……….. Harris pulls him off, who applies an inverted front face lock! The fans stand as one and cheer themselves hoarse. But Havok manages to slip free. He locks Harris in a rear waist lock, only to have her counter with a falling arm breaker, which she segued into a reverse arm bar. From there, Harris rolls onto Havok’s back and attempts an STF, only to have Havok roll to his stomach and counter with a boot to the stomach as soon as Harris attempts the toehold. With Harris momentarily stunned, Havok get to his feet and cinches in an inverted front face lock of his own, which again brings the crowd to their feet. Although Riot is clearly their choice to win the match, Havok pulling off an upset of this calibre is something to cheer for, and if he manages to execute his finisher, such an upset is certainly a foregone conclusion.



TOMMY ONIONS: This is actually a bigger match than I thought it would be.



JOSEPH GREER: You think Riot should have pinned either of them already?



However, both Havok and the fans have forgotten about one thing, or more importantly, one person: Rob Riot. Before Havok can pick Harris up, he finds himself locked in a cross face chicken wing. Rather than going for the submission, though, Riot arches his body backwards, driving Havok into the mat with a suplex out of the hold. Bridging for the cover, Riot also looks for the upset, but he has held the submission hold for a second too long, as Harris is able to regain her bearings and breaks up the submission with a stomp to Riot’s stomach.



TOMMY ONIONS: Harris breaks it up!



Harris slides out of the ring and procures the timekeeper’s chair, folding it up before sliding back into the ring. When Harris stood, chair in hand, and surveys her opponents, the ovation she receives put the rest of the cheers for the match to shame. She hits both of her opponents with the steel and then releases her grip on it and drops to the mat, an arm sprawled across both men’s chests. The official slides into the position.



…………….1



………………2



……………….Both Riot and Havok manage to get a shoulder up at the last second. Frustrated, Harris pulls Havok to his feet and sends him with an Irish whip to the opposite corner of the ring. Considering her options, Harris hesitates momentarily, which allows Riot to get to his feet and recover her relinquished weapon. Harris charges at Havok, only to be met with an elbow to the jaw that sends her staggering backwards. Seeing their opportunities, the two men make their final charges, the woman trapped between them. Swinging the chair over his head, Riot is surprised as it comes rocketing backwards and nails him in the face, courtesy of a Super Kick from Havok that had been intended for Harris, who is now in a crouch on the canvas.



TOMMY ONIONS: Ouch, that chair shot was stiff even if he was swinging it.



JOSEPH GREER: Surprised himself?



While Havok is pleasantly surprised by this development, he is also unprepared for the body tackle that Harris drives into his stomach. On collision, Harris pistons her feet, driving Havok backwards and through the ropes to the outside. Wasting no time, Harris drops into position for the cover on Riot, hooking Riot’s leg and urging the referee to slide into position.



TOMMY ONIONS: We need to get faster referees.



The referee’s hand goes down once. Riot grabs hold of Harris’s wrestling tights and flips her over for the pin.



……………1



………………..2



Havok is up and dives into the ring, throwing himself forward as hard as possible in hopes of breaking up the count, but the pin fall is final as Havok’s body hits the mat just inches short of where Riot gets the 3 count.



TOMMY ONIONS: Riot’s done it!



JOSEPH GREER: He’s now going to be RSW’s representative at the Night of Champions pay per view.



Clearly disappointed, Havok gets to his feet and pulls Riot’s left arm skyward as the referee raises his other arm into the air. Havok looks at Harris, who is starting to stir on the canvas. Havok claps Riot hard on the back.



BOB MOONEY: And your winner, Rob Riot!



TOMMY ONIONS: Havok is being the bigger man and congratulating Riot!



JOSEPH GREER: Now that surprises me.



He hits Riot with the Fall of Havok out of nowhere. He shouts abuse at Riot before making his way up the ramp laughing.



TOMMY ONIONS: Too soon.



JOSEPH GREER: He’s happy to lose by attacking Riot after match.



TOMMY ONIONS: Riot’s pissed off.



JOSEPH GREER: Wouldn’t you if you’d been attacked by that punk.



TOMMY ONIONS: The so-called future of RSW’s future is to be fired.

[vastrix]

JOSEPH GREER: So up next is our Main Event of the evening!



TOMMY ONIONS: Main Event? The contract signing? Who booked this crap? You don’t end the event with a contract signing. I can tell you what’s going to happen right now. Shane will come out. Dylan will come out. There’ll be some low grade back and forth wisecracks, then Soothsayer will turn up to back up Shane and someone, probably Dylan, will go through a table. It’ll be like every pro wrestling contract signing in history.



JOSEPH GREER: Ok, captain cynical, you can tell you’ve been doing this job a few years now. I think you forgot about or main IN-RING event of the evening. Soothsayer is going to be out here; because he’s going to be taking on Jaguar!



TOMMY ONIONS: Only it’s not Jaguar, is it. It’s Jaguar’s son.



JOSEPH GREER: Well, yes, I suppose…



TOMMY ONIONS: But we still market him as Jaguar, even though it’s like shoving Sean Lennon and Stella McCartney on stage and telling people they’re watching the Beatles.



JOSEPH GREER: I don’t think it’s really fair to say…



TOMMY ONIONS: It’s a rip off, Greer. It’s a straight up rip off. And I for one say these fans shouldn’t stand for it!



JOSEPH GREER: Your sudden love of consumer rights is hereby noted. Sheesh.



”DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE?”



The crowd pops huge as the entrance music of the legendary Jaguar thunders through the arena, and then subdues a little as they remember they’re cheering the rookie son of the legend, and not the man himself.



They’re soon buoyed, though, as Jaguar jr steps through the curtains….followed by his father! Bob Mooney notices.



BOB MOONEY: Ladies and Gentlemen, our final contest of the evening is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, accompanied by his father Jon ‘Jaguar’ Gerard, and hailing from Gloucester, Massachusetts…JAGUAR Jr!



JOSEPH GREER: And there they are! A family that can make their own claim to being the First Family of Wrestling….



TOMMY ONIONS: You sure you want to say that when Nocturnal and his gang are around? Or even Riot and “Mr Segomo”? Until the greenster shows he can hang, as far as I’m concerned he’s the Nigel Clough to his father’s Brian.



JOSEPH GREER: You’re making a lot of niche British pop culture references today?



TOMMY ONIONS: I watched all the Austin Powers movies in one sitting again.



Jaguar jr makes his way down the ramp, slapping hands with fans and looking pumped. He hops up onto the apron, pulling on the ropes to test them, and steps through, arms out wide, swaggering along to the Guns n Roses soundtrack. A broad smile on his face is clearly visible beneath the mask. He’s enjoying the Main Event spotlight.



TOMMY ONIONS: How come he gets the Main Event anyway? He’s not even wrestled a singles match in RSW before.



JOSEPH GREER: It may be more to do with the quality of his opponent; but I do agree that he may be getting too push of a push, too soon. I hope it hasn’t gone to his head. He looked sharp enough when he had that showdown with Riot in the Battle Royal last time out…



TOMMY ONIONS: Yeah, he did. Until he got thrown the fuck out of there.



BOB MOONEY: And his opponent….



The crowd overwhelmingly come out in boos. Soothsayer isn’t a popular figure with the faithful here; his nefarious influence over the briefly-popular Shane Mitchell has won him no friends either.



BOB MOONEY: …from parts unknown, and representing The Enlightened, the man known only as……Soothsayer!



The strains of Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture add a little culture to the proceedings and contrast to the raucous nature of Jaguar’s own entrance, as Soothsayer strides down the aisle, pausing every now and then to open his robe and show off his newly-won RSW Tag Team Championship belt. He’s oblivious to the boos and seems even to welcome them, smiling serenely at people who are raining down the most horrendous slurs at him.



Reaching the ring, he steps through the ropes and casts a lingering glance at Jaguar Sr, who backs off, stepping through the ropes and taking up his position in his son’s corner on the outside. Soothsayer smiles and nods. Jaguar jr, seeming to take this as an insult towards his father, stamps his feet and beckons Soothsayer on.



Soothsayer shakes his head, deliberately taking his time to disrobe, whilst Jaguar Sr tries his best to bring his son’s focus back under control with some well chosen words of advice in the corner.



DING DING DING!



The bell rings to start the match….and ignoring his father’s words of advice, Jag jr charges straight at Soothsayer….who sees him coming, snatches him with a powerslam and drives him back first into the mat, bringing his momentum to a juddering halt. The impact sucks the life out of the crowd, and Jag Sr covers his face with his hands.



Nodding to himself in satisfaction, and observing that Jaguar is winded from the impact, Soothsayer casually stands up, backs up against the ropes, comes away from them at a gentle pace, and drops a leg across Jaguar’s throat, not allowing the rookie to get back any of that lost wind.



Jaguar rolls over onto his front, clutching his throat and coughing. Soothsayer crosses to the ropes, makes eye contact with Jag sr, and points at his own eyes, the universally understood sign language for ‘Watch this’. Jag Sr does his best to ignore the mockery, slapping his hands on the mat and trying to rouse his son to warn him of the imminent danger.



Soothsayer steps through the ropes, climbing the turnbuckles from the outside and standing poised at the top.



TOMMY ONIONS: I feel like this hasn’t really gone to plan for the kid.



JOSEPH GREER: That’s the foolishness of youth, Tommy. His veteran father was telling him not to rush in, and not to let Soothsayer’s mind games get to him, but he saw red and ran headlong into trouble. I don’t know if he’s even going to be given chance to recover from this.



TOMMY ONIONS: Why doesn’t the old man get in there and stand up for his son?



JOSEPH GREER: Because he’d get him disqualified? And also maybe because he’s an honourable man who wants his son to learn valuable life lessons for himself?



TOMMY ONIONS: Don’t beat about the bush, Greer. He’s being a pussy.



JOSEPH GREER: Legendary professional wrestler and first-ballot Hall of Famer Jaguar is being a pussy because he isn’t illegally interfering in this match? That’s your stance? It’s a bold one, Onions. Here, let me see if I can get Jaguar over here, you can tell him all about it. Hey! Jaguar!



TOMMY ONIONS: Hey, knock it off, Greer!



JOSEPH GREER: Jaguar! Tommy has something he wants to say to you!



TOMMY ONIONS: I swear I’ll punch you right in your colostomy bag….



Jag sr’s pounding of the ring mat does indeed rouse Jag jr back up, and as Jaguar sr screams at him….



JAGUAR: BEHIND YOU! HE’S BEHIND YOU!



….things take on a pantomime twist, as Jag jr groggily turns round to look behind him, and is immediately cut down again by a flying clotheline all the way from the top rope. Soothsayer rolls neatly across his shoulder as he lands the move, graceful and precise. Jaguar just hits the mat like the proverbial tonne of bricks. Jag sr kicks the ring steps in frustration as the crowd does their level best to rouse the youngster.



TOMMY ONIONS: That was his old man’s fault! If he hadn’t been yelling out like that, he’d never have turned round!



JOSEPH GREER: That was lack of experience, Tommy. A more experienced pro would have taken that as a clue to duck, or to get out of range. Jaguar just turned around to face the music. That sort of ring smarts will come with time, but he’s not going to have time to get there tonight. This is a little embarrassing for the kid.



TOMMY ONIONS: It might be a while before we see him in the main event again.



JOSEPH GREER: I think you might be right.



Soothsayer seems to debate going for the cover, dropping down to his knees, but instead of pinning, he grabs Jaguar’s head and hits a flurry of punches, seemingly intended to make sure his quarry remains stunned, before grabbing him by the mask and yanking him up to a standing position. He crosses the ring to the corner he just leaped from, and smashes Jaguar’s face into the top turnbuckle a few time before picking him up, electric-chair style, and depositing him on the top, facing out to the crowd.



He takes a deep breath, and begins a slow ascent behind him.



JOSEPH GREER: I don’t like the look of this.



TOMMY ONIONS: I do, I think he’s going to fire him straight off into this crowd!



JOSEPH GREER: No, I mean I think we’re going to see the Awakening.



TOMMY ONIONS: Have you been at the viagra again?



JOSEPH GREER: No you imbecile, I mean Soothsayer’s finishing move!



TOMMY ONIONS: Oh. Do you have any viagra? Can I…



JOSEPH GREER: No. To both questions.



Soothsayer finishes his ascent, and stands Jaguar up with him, facing away from the ring. It’s a superplex position, but inverted.



With impressive strength and control, Soothsayer hoists Jaguar up and plunges backwards into the centre of the ring, holding the inverted superplex in place and bringing his opponent crashing down face-and-front first into the mat, where he hits hard and bounces away onto his back.



It’s all over, but Soothsayer doesn’t go for the cover immediately. He runs a hand across his forehead and shows it to Jaguar sr on the outside, demonstrating that he hasn’t even broken a sweat. Jaguar on the outside turns away, disgusted. He can’t even look.



JOSEPH GREER: Soothsayer is one cold character.



TOMMY ONIONS: Literally. He’s not even sweating. I know he hasn’t had to do any work but how is it possible he’s not sweating? It’s the middle of Africa in the middle of Summer, I’m going to have to burn these pants when I get home!



Still watching Jaguar sr, Soothsayer puts one hand on his fallen foe’s chest, and waits for the referee to confirm the inevitable.



One….



Two…..



THREE!



SOOTHSAYER WINS!



JOSEPH GREER: Devastation. Total and complete devastation.



BOB MOONEY: Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of this match, one half of the Riot Star Wrestling Tag Team Champions….Soothsayer!



1812 Overture plays again as Soothsayer gets his hand raised by the referee, smiling condescendingly at Jaguar sr as he rolls into the ring to retrieve his young charge and pull him out. The rookie can still barely stand even when assisted on the outside, and some stern words of advice are being muttered into his ear – probably the sort of words that can’t be broadcast on television.



Half assisting and half dragging his son, Jaguar makes his retreat from the arena, clearly feeling humiliated.



JOSEPH GREER: Well, he’s still got a bright future ahead of him, but I think this is going to be a case of ‘back to the drawing board’ for Jaguar jr. And lesson one is going to be ‘do as your old man tells you’.



TOMMY ONIONS: And lesson two is ‘don’t rely on me to get you out of trouble, because I’m a pussy’.



JOSEPH GREER: I see you’re brave enough to go back to that line now he’s out of earshot, Tommy, well done. Folks, Soothsayer has the easy ‘W’ here tonight, join us after the break for our contract signing showdown!



RSW fades to commercial on a closeup of Soothsayer in the ring, still celebrating his victory.

[vastrix]

The RSW ring, though splattered with various combatants blood and sweat from the evenings endeavours, has been made to look smart and professional. With a long wooden table positioned across the ring there is a tablecloth hanging over each side with the determined and angry faces of Dylan Erickson and Shane Mitchell on either side. A large banner advertising the XHF ‘Night of Champions’ hangs above the ring. Inside the ring Shawna Savante is present, as are two RSW promo girls who have been trusted with the task of holding onto the unsigned contracts, though their true purpose is purely aesthetic.



Also in the ring is Armand Von Krauss. Smoking his familiar Egyptian cigarette he looks awfully pleased with himself. This is his show, and he wants everyone to know it.



‘Fools Gold’ by the ‘Stone Roses’ heralds the entrance of the number one challenger for the Riot Star Wrestling Heavyweight Championship.



JOSEPH GREER: Shane Mitchell on his way to the ring Tommy. After the way you’ve tried to interfere in his matches as of late I’d tread very carefully in his presence if I were you.



TOMMY ONIONS: Do I look worried to you Greer, the true champion of Yorkshire Frank Windsor’s got my back.



JOSEPH GREER: You do know Windsor’s not in Mozambique tonight don’t you?



Silence



JOSEPH GREER: Tommy?



TOMMY ONIONS: Psst, I’m down here. Tell me when he’s passed us.



Greer sighs.



Shane walks slowly up the aisle, his RSW tag team title resting casually over his shoulder. He passes the announce table without a second glance, he has bigger things on his mind than ‘Sweet’ Tommy Onions tonight.



He enters the ring to a mixed reaction from the capacity crowd. They know he’s a deplorable individual but he still gets a few sympathy cheers after the news of Tiffany.



Shane takes a seat at the long desk that’s been assembled in the centre of the ring. He glances at Von Krauss who stands with all the pomp and arrogance he’s well known for as he blows another vile plume of smoke from his Egyptian cigarette.



Shane’s music ends and the silent entrance of Dylan Erickson begins. Dylan’s long strides soon see him at ringside. Behind him walks the man RSW followers have come to know as Bill Jackson.



TOMMY ONIONS: I thought Kubrick was the crazy member of the Kingdom but Dylan might just have usurped him. Jackson flattened him from behind with a steel chair just two events ago and now he walks to the ring with Jackson following. That’s assuming he knows he’s there!



JOSEPH GREER: Of course he knows he’s there Tommy. Mitchell had promised Jackson an opportunity in Riot Star Wrestling for doing what he did to Erickson. Mitchell reneged on the deal, it’s no surprise to see him siding with Dylan after Mitchell’s betrayal.



The champion steps into the ring, his giant legs striding over the top rope. Bill Jackson follows. Erickson holds his title high in the air eliciting a few cheers from the African crowd.



JOSEPH GREER: Erickson’s had it tough since winning the title Tommy, he’s been struggling for the form that earned him that belt.



TOMMY ONIONS: He peaked. Sometimes when you hit a climax you just want to lay back with a cigarette and bask in the moment. That does NOT happen to Sweet Tommy Onions though!



Shane stands as Dylan approaches the table, the opponents standing face to face separated only by the table that cuts the ring in half.



SHAWNA SAVANTE: Gentlemen, please take your seats.



Shane sits down first, Erickson follows.



SHANE MITCHELL: Afraid to face me on your own I see.



DYLAN ERICKSON: Mr Jackson simply wanted to be present when I wipe that smug, condescending look off your face.



SHANE MITCHELL: Smug? You think I’m feeling smug right now, in the week of my Tiffany’s death? I’m far from smug right now, I’m fucking furious!



DYLAN ERICKSON: Furious? Furious at who, yourself for making her life a misery. Furious at yourself for not making her happy?



Shane stands up and leans towards Dylan, both balled up fists resting on the table.



SHANE MITCHELL: I’m furious with YOU!



Dylan looks momentarily confused.



SHANE MITCHELL: The Kingdom are what killed Tiffany. The one and only reason she isn’t alive today is because of what she suffered in Castle Cachtice.



DYLAN ERICKSON: So the death of her baby had nothing to do with it?



SHANE MITCHELL: There would never have been a baby if it wasn’t for the Kingdom! The Medlands, Kubrick, they’re gone. Do you know what that means? It means that YOU are the only one left who is responsible for Tiffany’s death. It means that YOU will be subjected to every bit of anger and vengeance that I have inside of me.



DYLAN ERICKSON: You’re deluded. I never laid a finger on Tiffany. The fact that I’m sitting here today without a catalogue of STD’s is testament to the fact I wouldn’t touch Pete Medland’s sloppy seconds. Not to mention every other man, woman or beast that wanted a piece of her. No way was I going near one of Pete’s whores.



Shane reacts and lunges across the table grabbing the collar of Erickson’s shirt. He holds Dylan just inches in front of his face.



SHANE MITCHELL: You saw what I did to Medland for hurting Tiffany. Just imagine what I’m going to do to you for killing her!



ARMAND VON KRAUSS: Gentlemen, gentlemen, please sit down. There will be plenty of time for mindless thuggery and violence in due course. First let’s get down to the contracts, if RSW is going to have another death in the ring then at least let’s get the waivers signed.



Shane shoves Dylan as he releases his collar and both men take their seat.



SHANE MITCHELL: There’s only one reason I’m not kicking your pathetic ass around this ring right now.



Shane turns from his veiled threat to Dylan and looks to Von Krauss.



ARMAND VON KRAUSS: Ah yes, perhaps Dylan you would care to observe the Krausstron over there.



JOSEPH GREER: Does he mean the Riotron?



TOMMY ONIONS: Do you really think Von Krauss would call it that?



The Riotron shows Armand Von Krauss in his office. It’s earlier this evening as is evident by the Riddik and Hijinx match playing on the screen in the corner of the room. The door to the office opens without a knock.



ARMAND VON KRAUSS: There had better be a good reason for this interruption.



Shane steps into view and stands at the opposite side of Von Krauss’ desk, towering over the seated man. Shane seems to be trying to intimidate the RSW majority owner, albeit unsuccessfully.



SHANE MITCHELL: I want Erickson.



ARMAND VON KRAUSS: You’re facing him at Night of Champions.



SHANE MITCHELL: I don’t mean I want a match with him, not a wrestling match anyway. I’ve heard all the rumours about your Krimson Kharnival, I know what goes on there. I want to rip Erickson limb from limb, tear out his entrails and feed him his brain.



ARMAND VON KRAUSS: Feed him his brain, ah yes, I remember trying that one once. Didn’t work. Couldn’t get him to swallow, or do anything I told him to do, once I had his brain in my hand.



SHANE MITCHELL: I mean it. I want the most savage, brutal match up you can conjure up. Whatever fucked up, bloodthirsty mess you can think up I want that for Erickson.



ARMAND VON KRAUSS: Mr Mitchell, I would so love to give you what you want. In fact I’d love if every match had such stipulations however sadly on our televised shows the customary fight to the death battles of the Kharnival are not really a viable proposition.



Shane leans over the table and stares into the unresponsive eyes of Armand Von Krauss.



SHANE MITCHELL: Look. Just speak to legal and whatever is the most savage, disturbing match you can put together is I want it. Erickson will pay for destroying my family.



The Riotron switches off.



Dylan and Shane stare at one another as all eyes turn from the big screen to the ring once more.



ARMAND VON KRAUSS: Girls, would you please hand the gentlemen their contracts.



The bikini clad promo girls step towards the table with the contracts. Pens are already positioned on the table in front of both men.



Shane looks down at the paper in front of him and his face transforms into a sadistic smile. Erickson looks up at Von Krauss with a slight look of disbelief. Shane puts pen to paper first. Dylan examines the contract.



ARMAND VON KRAUSS: Well?



The champion shrugs his huge shoulders and scribbles his name on the contract.



As champion and challenger both rise from their seats and stare one another down Armand Von Krauss addresses the crowd.



ARMAND VON KRAUSS: Ladies and gentlemen and all those who are unsure, XHF Night of Champions will witness Dylan Erickson defend his Riot Star Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship against Shane Mitchell in a Sky Pyramid Death Match!



JOSEPH GREER: A what? They can’t be serious.



TOMMY ONIONS: I think it’s awesome! (in a whispering voice) What kind of match is that?



JOSEPH GREER: Scaffolding is set up like a pyramid over the four rings with a ladder at the top. Bomblets are set up outside of the ring for falls to the outside. Anything goes as it is a sky high ladder match.



TOMMY ONIONS: Jesus Christ…I think I just came…



‘Psychosocial’ by ‘Slipknot’ plays as Havok walks out onto the entrance stage with microphone in hand.



HAVOK: That’s a pretty amazing match that you got signed up there for Night of Champions. Though it seems that this means that you have Riot’s Rules off? That doesn’t seem right.



Armand flicks ashes onto the mat, glaring at Havok.



ARMAND VON KRAUSS: Don’t you have another curtain jerker to obliterate? Maybe I give you a list of people I’m getting ready to fire so you can jump them when they’re not looking too.



Havok steams, pacing back and forth on the entrance stage.



HAVOK: How dare you talk to the Future of the Entire Fucking Company that way! I should have a World title shot at Riot’s Rules! Dylan Erickson won’t even make it to Night of Champions!



It’s silent in the arena and in the ring as not a soul can believe the balls on Havok.



DYLAN ERICKSON: You know what? I could use a warm up before I destroy Mitchell once and for all. Riot’s Rules. The Future of…the Future…no. I can’t say it without laughing. At Riot’s Rules, I will serve you up as an example of what will happen to Mitchell here.



Armand blows smoke into the air, looking to Havok.



ARMAND VON KRAUSS: Happy? Dylan will demolish you happily. I think this is something that he’s looked forward to doing.



Shane Mitchell slams his fist down at the table.



SHANE MITCHELL: If you lose at Riot’s Rules, we will still be having a match at Night of Champions once I’m finished with Havok. You will not escape my wrath.



Dylan knocks the table down, lunging to his feet.



DYLAN ERICKSON: The day I lose to the little Golden Boy, Havok, is the day I fucking turn in my tights.



Shane Mitchell stands up as well, though slower than Dylan.



SHANE MITCHELL: I wouldn’t think so either, Mopickson, but you never know.



HAVOK: I’m still here and am going to be the World champion!



TOMMY ONIONS: That Havok guy is so fucking funny! We should have him go on tour!



JOSEPH GREER: I think he’s being serious.



TOMMY ONIONS: Oh what? Are you serious?



JOSEPH GREER: That’s all the time we have for tonight. This has been Joseph Greer-



TOMMY ONIONS: And “Sweet” Tommy Onions! Have a great fucking night!