The Test Drive [NoC X*Crown RP #2]

[Jack Diamond]

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July 6th 2018

Columbus, Ohio

10:16 PM

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Dakota: So... what exactly are we doing here?

The scene opens inside the showroom at the Audi Columbus car dealership. Jack, dressed in a fitted Italian suit, has his arms crossed as he looks at the 2018 Audi R8 on display, slowly spinning for all customers to admire. The glass walls of the showroom let the line pierce through just perfect enough for it to dance off the candy red paint, making it draw onlookers in even more. Dakota's question snaps him back into the moment, clearly he was lost in thought, or daydream.

Diamond: You seen that car Mav pulled up in yesterday. That damn thing was sleek as hell. He seemed to be enjoying driving it so I figured why not come up here and test one out myself. I've been thinking about trading in the Range for something a little more sporty. An Icon has to Icon right?

Dakota rolls her eyes, but in a playful way. As Diamond turns his back to her she smiles. She could DEFINITELY see herself riding around in that beaut. A young, energetic salesman, who unbeknownst to the two of them had been listening, approaches Diamond.

Audi Salesman: An Iconic car indeed. Mr. Diamond, I'm a huge fan. So what is it going to take for you to let your number one fan sell you this car today? Come on, let me give you the VIP treatment.

Diamond amusingly cuts his eyes at the salesman and then back at Dakota who is trying hard to stifle a giggle. Diamond looks back at the salesman and smiles.

Diamond: Well, I'm certainly in the market. One of my fellow Icon's just got him a sweet blacked out R8. I'm not going to lie, it looked like a whole hell of a lot of fun to drive, so I figured I would come test one out.

The salesman smiles because it appears like this is going to be an easy sale for him to make after all.

Audi Salesman: Well we can definitely make that happen, these things are very fun to drive. Just let me go grab the key, get some paperwork to go over with you while we are out, you know, specifications, warranty information... and then we can hit the road.

Jack is lost in thought again but when he realized what the salesman said, his brow scrunched up. He looks over to Dakota who has a small pout on her face, knowing exactly what Diamond was thinking. Diamond stops himself from smiling, she is playing it good.

Diamond: Look man, if I am going to drop the money on this car, I'd like to test it out how I'm going to be riding around in it. With my lady over there.

Now it is the salesman's turn to look uncomfortable, and Jack enjoys every second of it. In the salesman's mind, he REALLY needs to make this sale. At the same time though, policy is policy...

Audi Salesman: Uh... uh... M-M-Mr. Diamond sir, I-I can't let you take this car out by yourself. It is against company pol-

Diamond: I-I-I d-d-didn't ask you what company policy was, now did I? No, let me make myself very clear, You do not get to sell me this car if I do not get to take it for a spin with Miss Paige here. So take you goofy ass to the back, speak to whoever the hell you have to speak to, and tell them that Jack Fucking Diamond is standing right here in the middle of this showroom, ready and willing to drop all kinds of cash TODAY! If you don't produce a key in the next five minutes, I will gladly walk back out to my Range Rover, and head down the road to another dealership. Now,

Diamond looks down at the scared man's chest where his nametag is proudly on display, along with a sticker claiming to be June 2018's Top Seller

Diamond: Stevie, is it... Why don't you wander your ass to the back right now and see what you can do. If not, you may not be back to back top salesman. Now, run along!

The young man, Stevie, who is almost as red as the car now with embarrassment scurries off to the back. Diamond laughs to himself as Dakota walks over and puts her arm around his shoulder.

Dakota: Be nice. You almost made the poor kid piss himself.

Diamond: Just having a little fun. Seriously though, what good is test driving a car if I have to ride with boy wonder there, spewing out useless facts and telling me what is covered under warranty.

Dakota: No, I get it. You could have been a little easier on him though. This mean streak you are on as of late, it's... well interesting to say the least.

Diamond: You mean the bad mouthing AWF management, making rude comments about Storm and those things? I didn't really sign up to the wrestling business to be Mr. Goodie-good. No, I signed up to make a name for myself, to earn a nice paycheck and to solidify my name as one of the greatest to ever step foot in the squared-circle. If it rubs people the wrong way, so be it.

Dakota: Yeah, but you used to always fight for what was right. All I ever heard people say was that Jack was such a "standup guy" and now I just hear them call you assholes, even at the highest caliber, some would even say you were being a complete douche...

Diamond looks taken aback a bit but quickly laughs it off. He sees the look in Dakota's eyes and it's not one of concern nor is it one of malice. She is just trying to push his buttons. Truthfully, she loves Jack when he is in his element. Every girl loves a bad boy.

Diamond: Me? A douche? If being the top dog in XHF makes me a douche then so be it, but it still doesn't change the fact that little Stevie is back there right now doing exactly what I told him... much the same way that Felix Ziko does what I tell him, Terry Bradshaw will do what I tell him, hell even Mongo himself will do what I tell him or they can all fuck off. Especially Mong-

Stevie is back from the back and seems to have regained his composure. He walks out and is dangling a key fob from his hand and Jack instantly lights up and winks at Dakota who just smirks. As the salesman walks up, Jack holds his hand out but Stevie doesn't drop the keys. Instead, he extends his other hand to Jack which is holding a clipboard. Jack looks on, intrigued.

Audi Salesman: Okay Mr Diamond, so I talked to the boss and pulled some strings. I can let you and Miss Paige go on the test drive but you have to sign these documents, pay a drive fee of ten thousand dollars and give us a credit card to hold, in the event something were to happen.

Diamond: In the event something were to happen? What do you think I'm going to Gone In 60 seconds this shit? You know what, nevermind. I want to test it out so sure, I'll sign your little document and pay you the fee. Make it happen.

Audi Salesman: Also, could you sign this as well?

Jack looks at the clipboard again where Stevie is pointing. There is a trading card with Diamond on it. This little dweeb is actually asking for an autograph... bold move, one that Diamond can appreciate. He pulls out a sharpie and signs the card. Stevie grabs it and looks at it approvingly, this just made his day. Probably more so than selling this car would do. He finishes up going over the paperwork with Diamond and hands him the fob.

Audi Salesman: Alright champ, you are all set. The test drive is only for thirty minutes and we will have to start charging your car for every minute you are out past that. Enjoy sir.

Stevie goes to walk away as Jack opens the door for Dakota, he makes a mocking face behind the salesman back and Dakota nudges him in the ribs with a "oh grow up" look on her face. Diamond walks around to the other side and gets in. The car is nice, no doubt about that even if it's a little cramped.

Diamond: Well, let's fire this baby up.

The engine roars to life and Jack smiles big. Say what you will, but the sound of that raw power will forever be music to any guy's ears. Diamond pulls out of the dealership and right onto North Hamilton. He is messing with some of the controls and really enjoying himself.

Dakota: You should really focus on the road.

Diamond: Oh come on, don't start. Sweetheart I've been driving all my life. I gotta say though, this IS pretty damn cool.

Dakota: Yeah, I guess. SO what's this GUNS show thing?

Diamond: Some jerk fest where they are going to put us on display to make a big to do over this four-ring circus match. We might as well be a damn car on a showroom floor.

Dakota: Why at the GUNS event? Why not AWF? Or even AXW?

Diamond: Well, you see the idiocy that is going on in the front office in Bethesda. Do you really think Mongo would trust Felix and Terry with this announcement? At the same time, AXW is a long way for Mongo to travel, if he even makes it through customs. So I guess GUNS it is.

Diamond, out on the open road now starts to open things up a bit. The speed creeping up as Dakota tries to nonchalantly pull her seat belt a little tighter.

Dakota: Easy now... So do you even know who all you're up against?

Diamond: Does it really matter? I mean thanks to Bradshaw, AXW has two spots so rumour is it will be Anomoly and Jackson Steele. I don't know much about Anomoly other than the brief back and forth we had on Twitter. Jackson, well I still owe him after almost knocking him off a couple months back. As for the rest, I guess I will find out at this show. I'm not worried though, I'm going to go into one of those four rings and do what I always do.

The car gets even faster still. Dakota goes back and forth between looking at Diamond, and looking at the road ahead as the lines start getting more and more blurred.

Diamond: Dominate. I'm going to beat not one, not two, not three, but seven other people. The best of the best in each fed in the network, on my way to reclaiming what is rightfully mine. To be honest, I can't wait to see who all I'm up against... Ah shit, that reminds me. I have to check the flight booking and make sure everything is set up.

Diamond pulls out his cell phone as Dakota looks on incredulously. Jack is actually thumbing through his phone while increasing speed even more.

Dakota: Jack, babe, focus on the road... it won't do any good to buy a wrecked car, especially if you are dead.

Jack scoffs a bit, ignoring the pleas as he glances from phone to road, road to phone. Now, it is important for everyone to know that you should never do this. Handle your smartphone business when you are parked. No matter how long you've been doing it, no matter how good you think you are, all it takes is for you to take your eyes off the road for one sec-

Dakota: JACK! LOOK OUT!

Jack had just barely taken his eyes back off the road when a dog out from a grassy field beside the road and right into the path of the R8. Dakota tenses up, and covers her face with her hands to wait for the inevitable thud. Diamond locks it down. The tires screech and squeal, a cloud of white smoke, burnt rubber surrounds the red car. Diamond swerves left, almost loses it but somehow skids back the other way avoiding oncoming traffic. The car jarringly comes to a stop on the side of the road, a mere inches away from a fire hydrant. Jack is breathing heavily, Dakota is crying but moves her hands down once she realizes they are stopped and actually didn't hit anything. She looks out the window, sees the fire hydrant and looks over at Diamond who is just smiling, speechless, gripping the wheel. He slowly looks back over to Dakota

Diamond: Holy shit.

Dakota: I told you to pay attention!

Jack laughs now, she is right. He almost messed up.

Diamond: Well, I think that is enough of a test drive. Maybe let's head back to the dealership, what do you say?

Dakota: I think that is the wise decision.

Jack turns his turning signal on, for what reason, who knows. He does a u-turn in front of a petrified looking commuter and heads back the opposite direction towards the Audi dealership.

Diamond: Damn, I can't believe that. Can you imagine the backlash if I had took out a fire hydrant with this car? The media would never let me live that down. I mean, who the fuck does that?

Dakota just shakes her head as they head back to the dealership.

Diamond: Also, maybe not mention this to young Stevie...

Jack reaches up and straightens his tie as he continues down the road, where ultimately he will crush Stevie the salesman's dreams by not purchasing the car and sticking to his Range Rover. Back, safe and sound in the comfort of his on vehicle, Jack finally gets around to making sure things are set for the GUNS show. This time he does it parked, and puts his phone completely away before leaving the dealership parking lot as the scene comes to an end.