Post by Steve Awesome on Jul 21, 2018 0:14:57 GMT -5
Announcer: Welcome back to the Late Show with your host, Whitey McDouchebag!
Whitey: Boo hoo hoo hoo hooooo
The scene opens on a middle aged white guy with brown hair ugly crying behind a giant desk.
Whitey: He’s an evil man! Boo hoo hoo hoooo! He must be stopped!! Hoo hoo hooooo!”
Tears stream down this mans face and a snot bubble forms in his nostrils as he faces a camera that broadcasts his image to millions of people. He slams the table and sobs.
Whitey: Hoo hoo ka choooo, If we don’t he’s literally gonna wreck the entire America! Hoodly hoooo! We *sniff* gotta *sniff* do *sniff* something hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoooooooo!
He wails for a few moments and then wipes away his tears and looks into the camera with a completely jovial smile on his face.
Whitey: Anyways, we got a great show for you all today! We’re going to have some fun with a man who has been lighting up Hollywood lately with his big project, please Welcome the Writer, the producer, the director, AND the star of the upcoming summer blockbuster “Novembeards”, the one and only Steve Awesome!”
[/b]The house band plays his theme music and Steve Awesome pops out from behind the big curtain wearing a suave suit with no undershirt so you could still see the definition of his action movie star pecs. He peaks at the crowd over his sunglasses as they cheer and the girls whistle and then he struts out onto the classic late night set. Steve walks up past the long couch and the giggling fat guy and takes a seat in the guest chair. Steve shakes Whiteys hand.[/b]
Whitey: Thanks for coming on the show, Steve.
Steve Awesome: Thanks for having me. It’s always a pleasure doing these shows. I’m sure you could always use the ratings boost.
Steve grins into the camera as the studio audience starts to laugh. The host takes the jab in stride.
Whitey: We’re late night television, Steve. We do whatever it takes to get ratings. But man, you sure have been busy lately. Not only are you getting ready to release a movie, “Novembeards” that you’ve done basically everything for, and we all saw the trailer before the commercial break and I have to say it looks...well...really awesome!”
[/b]Whitey pauses for a cheap laugh from the crowd.[/b]
Whitey: But you're also going to be wrestling in the main event of Night of Champions Nine inside the XHF Network Arena in Minneapolis, Minnesota! For the XHF X-Crown championship. That must be pretty cool.
The studio audience cheers and oohs and awws at the thought of The Greatest Show. Steve Awesome nods his head with pride.
Steve Awesome: You know it is cool, it’s real cool, but it’s crazy at the same time. Because quite honestly I never thought I’d ever wrestle again for the XHF. I figured that boat has sailed and I’d never get another opportunity to represent them out on tv or in a ring, but here I am. On your little show telling the world that on July twenty ninth I’m coming home! I’m stepping into the main event of the greatest show on Earth, and I’m going to wrestle seven other people and reclaim my X*Crown Championship. And you can all watch Night of Champions, and me of course, on the XHF Network. Just nine ninety nine a month and free to new subscribers.”
Steve pulls his sunglasses down and smiled for the camera to help sell the product. The house audience cheers and whistles for the Face of the Franchise.
Whitey: Well I know what I’m watching on July twenty ninth, that’s for sure. How about all of you?
He looks out into the audience and they all cheer and start chanting for the XHF! Mongo could literally hear his bank account getting bigger.
Whitey: We all know that you are considered a XHF legend. Any pro wrestling fan can tell you about the time Steve Awesome was XCrown Champion. And how he was the last ever XHF United States Champion. But what’s it like as a returning legend stepping into the locker room with all the younger stars?
Steve Awesome chuckles at the question.
Steve Awesome: Oh man, the young guys are the typical young guys, you know? And it’s funny because most of these young kids are opponents in the Four Ring Circus match. They are all caught up in there own little worlds, they think they know everything. Too thick headed to look and learn. I mean sure, they are good in the ring, but what do they know about longevity? What do they know about staying main event level for ten plus years? What the hell do they even know about working hard and getting to a level that you can just drop in with a damn parachute and just enter the biggest match there ever was for the greatest prize in the world? Nothing!”
He swipes through the air with his arm and hand, his platinum watch sparkling as he does so.
Steve Awesome: Some of these young punks had to scratch and claw to earn this moment. For some, it may even be the only thing they ever do, and I literally dropped in from out of nowhere and here I am. See, that’s Face of the Franchise level status. That is XHF LEGEND Level status. You don’t just get that status over night, Whitey.
Whitey: Closest thing to legend status I ever got was an extra punch on my five coffees get one free card at Starbucks. The lady at the counter wasn’t paying attention.
Whitey laughs at his own joke along with the crowd.
Whitey: So there are seven other competitors in this four ring circus. A match that is going to be multiple cage matches all going on in one big cage match. It’s going to be crazy chaos that only the XHF brand can bring. But out of those seven guys who do you want to be locked in a cage with first? Any of the young guys catch your eye?
Steve Awesome: Well actually there is one woman. Zoloft pop tart or something. Anyway, she’s crazy. I’d make a typical chauvinistic {No Means No} joke right now but I’m too afraid she’d {No Means No} me back. I actually hope I’m NOT locked in a cage with her at any point.”
The crowd laughs. Steve grins and then holds up his finger.
Steve Awesome: But there is one guy I hope I get to start off with, a guy who goes by the name Jack Diamond. I definitely would like to punch that little chump stain in the face, first and foremost.”
The audience ohhhhs as Steve continues.
Steve Awesome: See this guy Jack he wants to run his mouth about me and things I’ve done. And that’s all well and good, you know I can smell a hater a mile away and that’s what he is, a hater. See me? I’ll give credit where it’s due. The guy is good. He is a former XCrown champion just like myself. He actually dethroned Rob Arnold and ended an epic reign. That’s a pretty impressive feat, but then he turned around and lost it within a month to a guy that was dying. I mean seriously? How pathetic is that?
Everyone in the audience ohs again as Steve fires off.
Steve Awesome: Jack acts like he isn’t impressed by MY reign? My title reign lasted three months, that makes me at least three times better than that guy. I hope I get him early on so I can prove it in the ring. See, he acts like he isn’t impressed, all these competitors act like it’s nothing but I know that as soon as they realized I was in the match they all collectively shit their pants. You know why?
Whitey shrugs his shoulders.
Whitey: Irritable bowel syndrome?
Steve shakes his head.
Steve Awesome: It’s because I’m another XHF legend. And let me ask you a question Whitey, who is it that’s been dominating the XCrown division since it’s return to active contention? That’s right, it’s been the XHF legends. The guys that have been able to withstand the test of time. The Kanyons, The Arnold’s, even another legend in this match Hardcore Harry. These are guys who are logging twenty plus careers and know what it takes to persevere against adversity. They have the impressive reigns, they beat all the opposition. As soon as someone from this new crop of wrestlers in the XHF gets ahold of the belt they either lose it quick or like...die.
Steve just shrugs his shoulders and he smirks into the camera.
Steve Awesome: It’s just more proof that I’m going to be the one walking out of Night of Champions Nine with the XCrown Championship. Because these kids know they can’t stack up to the legends of this business, and I’ll tell you right now, it doesn’t get much more legendary than Steve Awesome. So I hope it’s Jack Diamond because that ultimate loser needs a rude awakening in life but it really doesn’t matter who I face. Anomaly, Jackson Steele, Raiden Ishimori, or even {No Means No} vibes herself Tabitha Owens. Because each and everyone of them is going to get the humbling truth beat into them.
Steve looks into the main camera of the show and speaks as if he’s talking directly to his opponents.
Steve Awesome: I will be the next XCrown Champion. Because none of you can live up to my legend status.
Steve holds his confident grin just to make sure his opponents can see it.
Whitey: Well that’s our show. You can see Steve Awesome whip a whole lot of heavy duty booty, LIVE on the XHF Network at Night of Champions Nine! Also check out Novembeards, coming to a theatre near you! Thanks for watching!
The end credits start to roll and the show comes to an end.
——-
The next day was a lot like the last day. All the hustle and bustle of the set seemed to produce this positive synergy. It just looked like everyone was eager to get there jobs done for the day. It even transferred onto me. I was extremely excited to see what kind of situation I would find Steve in this time.
I was a bit alarmed of course to find him shirtless and strapped up on a dolly with a muzzle over his bearded face. I gasped out loud and felt the immediate flares of everyone on set.
Assistant Director: Can we please have quiet on the set?
I nod sheepishly and take a few steps back to observe the scene.
Assistant Director: Action.
As I watched, I recognized the scene from the script. This comes after the beard tries to take over Jack Globen, the character Steve Awesome plays of course. He has managed to get back to the scientists who had given him the beard ointment and they took Jack captive for his troubles.
“Jack Globen”: Mmmmm!!! mmmmmm!
Sweat glistens over Jack's body as he struggles intensely to get free from the bounds that tie him to the dolly. The evil bearded scientists laugh maniacally at his efforts.
Scientist 1: Please. You’ll just wear yourself out with all that struggling.
Scientist 2: And we want you to be awake to see your great and noble contribution to science.
Scientist one locks the dolly in place while scientist two pulls a large sheet off another giant machine within there crowded laboratory. It has a giant screen on it that plays a power point presentation entitled “how we plan to take over the world, by the Beard Bros.” They proceed to explain to Jack, using pictures and various fonts how his was the only body that the beard completely bonded with. So they needed to take his blood to finally create there army of super soldiers with beards that they could control and order to do whatever they wanted! They were just about to load him into the “all of your blood-taker 3000” and drain him when suddenly the character known as Lucy enters the scene in dramatic fashion!
“Lucy” : Hey...like...let him go. Okay?
With a delivery and range of a cardboard box.
Assistant Director: Cut!
Everyone groans and they start muttering about the number of times they’ve had to redo the scene because of her. I personally thought Steve Awesome was going to have a conniption fit, the way he rose up from his mark. He pulls off the muzzle and the fake beard and he rushed over to where she stood. I braced myself for the onslaught that would ensue.
Steve Awesome: Jen…
That was the actress’s name.
Steve Awesome: What’s going on here? You have been giving us wet noodle all day.
I was shocked to hear a calm and concerned voice coming from Steve. He wasn’t berating her in front of everyone or making her feel bad. He took her to the side and gently asked her what was wrong.
Jen: I’m just nervous, I don’t have a lot of experience on a real movie set.
Steve Awesome: Yeah well, you need to get that out of your head right now! This is the real deal. This is the big time. Now isn’t the time to be nervous, now is the time to be motivated Jen! Don’t you think I was nervous about making this movie and taking a huge risk!? Of course I was. It could cost me everything and ruin me!
I wondered what exactly he meant by that..
Steve Awesome: But I knew I had to get strong to make this happen. I knew I had to take life by the horns and give it everything we have! Because if we let opportunities pass us by because we were scared or nervous, you’ll always regret it.
It was a little bit cliche but it was true. Jen seemed to connect with what Steve was saying. You could tell by the way her eyes lit up and her sigh of relief.
Steve Awesome: So you need to take this moment of life and make it yours Jen. I know you can do it! Get angry. Get hyped up. That is your best friend in there! You might even love him. And those scientists assholes are doing bad stuff to him! What are you going to say about it!?
He shoved her a bit to get her even more amped up.
Steve Awesome: Get in there and nail that line!
I had to admit, Jen did look a lot more worked up then before. By now the stage crew had reset the scene and everyone takes their places. The assistant director calls action and the entire scene happens again for, I believe the marker said, twenty seven times. The scientists push “Jack Globen” into position and explain there evil plan to control the world with an army of bearded men who will do their bidding. Just then “Lucy” comes bursting into the lab! She points directly at the scientists with a fulminating rage! She screams at the top of her lungs!
“Lucy”: TAKE YOUR STINKING PAWS OFF HIM YOU DAMN DIRTY BEARD!!!”
She performed the line with a fire that I’m sure everyone felt within them. Her face displayed the pain and the anger and the concern the character faced for her friend. It was truly moving. One of the camera guys were crying.
Assistant Director: And…*sniff*...cut…
He wiped away a tear. He tried to do it discreetly but I totally noticed him. Everybody was stunned by the performance of that rookie actress, and it was all from Steve Awesome pulling it out of her. I guess that’s what a really great director does. Steve Awesome was a total pro in every sense of the word.
Steve Awesome: That’s a wrap for today folks. Drinks are on me at the titty bar! Let’s all go get fucked up!
Steve tosses the fake beard to the side and rushes out the door. The whole crew cheers and they all rush down to the bar and of course I’m going because, free booze right?
It had been a long time since I had been to the strip club. But I wanted to seem hip in front of Steve and the crew so I pretended I liked to drink. Wich was a bad idea of course because I’m a lightweight and I get drunk really fast. But it’s okay because everyone else was really drunk too and it was a perfect time to pick Steve’s brain. I learned about the many techniques Steve liked to use in the ring. The type of movies he liked. I learned that Steve had an affinity for cheesecake. And also strippers. And possibly cocaine...I wasn’t exactly sure.
A scantily clad waitress comes by and sets two more shots down on the table. I couldn’t really remember how many I’ve taken and that was a sign that I probably shouldn’t. I respectfully declined but Steve was persistent.
Steve Awesome: Come on Jeff!
He was stumbling and slurring his words as he spoke to me.
Steve Awesome: To our new friendship!
“Oh no” I said, politely declining again and sliding the shot towards his side of the table. “If I take one more shot, it will ruin me” I explained. But then I remembered earlier and maybe it was my buzz talking but I had to know what he meant.
“Say Shteve, wad didja mean when you say dis movie could ruin you?” I was clearly drunk. I definitely didn’t need that last shot.
He looks in both directions to make sure no one was listening and then he motions for me to come closer.
Steve Awesome: If this thing doesn’t work….then I am pretty much fucked, man. It will be over for me. I’d be ruined.
“What does that mean? I ask as I continue to dig for information. But Steve simply shakes his head and he slides the shot back toward me.
Steve Awesome: You want more info? Then take the shot.
Against my better judgement, I do. And it’s right about thrn thyt O 4get how t tysfhkobk...
Whitey: Boo hoo hoo hoo hooooo
The scene opens on a middle aged white guy with brown hair ugly crying behind a giant desk.
Whitey: He’s an evil man! Boo hoo hoo hoooo! He must be stopped!! Hoo hoo hooooo!”
Tears stream down this mans face and a snot bubble forms in his nostrils as he faces a camera that broadcasts his image to millions of people. He slams the table and sobs.
Whitey: Hoo hoo ka choooo, If we don’t he’s literally gonna wreck the entire America! Hoodly hoooo! We *sniff* gotta *sniff* do *sniff* something hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoooooooo!
He wails for a few moments and then wipes away his tears and looks into the camera with a completely jovial smile on his face.
Whitey: Anyways, we got a great show for you all today! We’re going to have some fun with a man who has been lighting up Hollywood lately with his big project, please Welcome the Writer, the producer, the director, AND the star of the upcoming summer blockbuster “Novembeards”, the one and only Steve Awesome!”
[/b]The house band plays his theme music and Steve Awesome pops out from behind the big curtain wearing a suave suit with no undershirt so you could still see the definition of his action movie star pecs. He peaks at the crowd over his sunglasses as they cheer and the girls whistle and then he struts out onto the classic late night set. Steve walks up past the long couch and the giggling fat guy and takes a seat in the guest chair. Steve shakes Whiteys hand.[/b]
Whitey: Thanks for coming on the show, Steve.
Steve Awesome: Thanks for having me. It’s always a pleasure doing these shows. I’m sure you could always use the ratings boost.
Steve grins into the camera as the studio audience starts to laugh. The host takes the jab in stride.
Whitey: We’re late night television, Steve. We do whatever it takes to get ratings. But man, you sure have been busy lately. Not only are you getting ready to release a movie, “Novembeards” that you’ve done basically everything for, and we all saw the trailer before the commercial break and I have to say it looks...well...really awesome!”
[/b]Whitey pauses for a cheap laugh from the crowd.[/b]
Whitey: But you're also going to be wrestling in the main event of Night of Champions Nine inside the XHF Network Arena in Minneapolis, Minnesota! For the XHF X-Crown championship. That must be pretty cool.
The studio audience cheers and oohs and awws at the thought of The Greatest Show. Steve Awesome nods his head with pride.
Steve Awesome: You know it is cool, it’s real cool, but it’s crazy at the same time. Because quite honestly I never thought I’d ever wrestle again for the XHF. I figured that boat has sailed and I’d never get another opportunity to represent them out on tv or in a ring, but here I am. On your little show telling the world that on July twenty ninth I’m coming home! I’m stepping into the main event of the greatest show on Earth, and I’m going to wrestle seven other people and reclaim my X*Crown Championship. And you can all watch Night of Champions, and me of course, on the XHF Network. Just nine ninety nine a month and free to new subscribers.”
Steve pulls his sunglasses down and smiled for the camera to help sell the product. The house audience cheers and whistles for the Face of the Franchise.
Whitey: Well I know what I’m watching on July twenty ninth, that’s for sure. How about all of you?
He looks out into the audience and they all cheer and start chanting for the XHF! Mongo could literally hear his bank account getting bigger.
Whitey: We all know that you are considered a XHF legend. Any pro wrestling fan can tell you about the time Steve Awesome was XCrown Champion. And how he was the last ever XHF United States Champion. But what’s it like as a returning legend stepping into the locker room with all the younger stars?
Steve Awesome chuckles at the question.
Steve Awesome: Oh man, the young guys are the typical young guys, you know? And it’s funny because most of these young kids are opponents in the Four Ring Circus match. They are all caught up in there own little worlds, they think they know everything. Too thick headed to look and learn. I mean sure, they are good in the ring, but what do they know about longevity? What do they know about staying main event level for ten plus years? What the hell do they even know about working hard and getting to a level that you can just drop in with a damn parachute and just enter the biggest match there ever was for the greatest prize in the world? Nothing!”
He swipes through the air with his arm and hand, his platinum watch sparkling as he does so.
Steve Awesome: Some of these young punks had to scratch and claw to earn this moment. For some, it may even be the only thing they ever do, and I literally dropped in from out of nowhere and here I am. See, that’s Face of the Franchise level status. That is XHF LEGEND Level status. You don’t just get that status over night, Whitey.
Whitey: Closest thing to legend status I ever got was an extra punch on my five coffees get one free card at Starbucks. The lady at the counter wasn’t paying attention.
Whitey laughs at his own joke along with the crowd.
Whitey: So there are seven other competitors in this four ring circus. A match that is going to be multiple cage matches all going on in one big cage match. It’s going to be crazy chaos that only the XHF brand can bring. But out of those seven guys who do you want to be locked in a cage with first? Any of the young guys catch your eye?
Steve Awesome: Well actually there is one woman. Zoloft pop tart or something. Anyway, she’s crazy. I’d make a typical chauvinistic {No Means No} joke right now but I’m too afraid she’d {No Means No} me back. I actually hope I’m NOT locked in a cage with her at any point.”
The crowd laughs. Steve grins and then holds up his finger.
Steve Awesome: But there is one guy I hope I get to start off with, a guy who goes by the name Jack Diamond. I definitely would like to punch that little chump stain in the face, first and foremost.”
The audience ohhhhs as Steve continues.
Steve Awesome: See this guy Jack he wants to run his mouth about me and things I’ve done. And that’s all well and good, you know I can smell a hater a mile away and that’s what he is, a hater. See me? I’ll give credit where it’s due. The guy is good. He is a former XCrown champion just like myself. He actually dethroned Rob Arnold and ended an epic reign. That’s a pretty impressive feat, but then he turned around and lost it within a month to a guy that was dying. I mean seriously? How pathetic is that?
Everyone in the audience ohs again as Steve fires off.
Steve Awesome: Jack acts like he isn’t impressed by MY reign? My title reign lasted three months, that makes me at least three times better than that guy. I hope I get him early on so I can prove it in the ring. See, he acts like he isn’t impressed, all these competitors act like it’s nothing but I know that as soon as they realized I was in the match they all collectively shit their pants. You know why?
Whitey shrugs his shoulders.
Whitey: Irritable bowel syndrome?
Steve shakes his head.
Steve Awesome: It’s because I’m another XHF legend. And let me ask you a question Whitey, who is it that’s been dominating the XCrown division since it’s return to active contention? That’s right, it’s been the XHF legends. The guys that have been able to withstand the test of time. The Kanyons, The Arnold’s, even another legend in this match Hardcore Harry. These are guys who are logging twenty plus careers and know what it takes to persevere against adversity. They have the impressive reigns, they beat all the opposition. As soon as someone from this new crop of wrestlers in the XHF gets ahold of the belt they either lose it quick or like...die.
Steve just shrugs his shoulders and he smirks into the camera.
Steve Awesome: It’s just more proof that I’m going to be the one walking out of Night of Champions Nine with the XCrown Championship. Because these kids know they can’t stack up to the legends of this business, and I’ll tell you right now, it doesn’t get much more legendary than Steve Awesome. So I hope it’s Jack Diamond because that ultimate loser needs a rude awakening in life but it really doesn’t matter who I face. Anomaly, Jackson Steele, Raiden Ishimori, or even {No Means No} vibes herself Tabitha Owens. Because each and everyone of them is going to get the humbling truth beat into them.
Steve looks into the main camera of the show and speaks as if he’s talking directly to his opponents.
Steve Awesome: I will be the next XCrown Champion. Because none of you can live up to my legend status.
Steve holds his confident grin just to make sure his opponents can see it.
Whitey: Well that’s our show. You can see Steve Awesome whip a whole lot of heavy duty booty, LIVE on the XHF Network at Night of Champions Nine! Also check out Novembeards, coming to a theatre near you! Thanks for watching!
The end credits start to roll and the show comes to an end.
——-
The next day was a lot like the last day. All the hustle and bustle of the set seemed to produce this positive synergy. It just looked like everyone was eager to get there jobs done for the day. It even transferred onto me. I was extremely excited to see what kind of situation I would find Steve in this time.
I was a bit alarmed of course to find him shirtless and strapped up on a dolly with a muzzle over his bearded face. I gasped out loud and felt the immediate flares of everyone on set.
Assistant Director: Can we please have quiet on the set?
I nod sheepishly and take a few steps back to observe the scene.
Assistant Director: Action.
As I watched, I recognized the scene from the script. This comes after the beard tries to take over Jack Globen, the character Steve Awesome plays of course. He has managed to get back to the scientists who had given him the beard ointment and they took Jack captive for his troubles.
“Jack Globen”: Mmmmm!!! mmmmmm!
Sweat glistens over Jack's body as he struggles intensely to get free from the bounds that tie him to the dolly. The evil bearded scientists laugh maniacally at his efforts.
Scientist 1: Please. You’ll just wear yourself out with all that struggling.
Scientist 2: And we want you to be awake to see your great and noble contribution to science.
Scientist one locks the dolly in place while scientist two pulls a large sheet off another giant machine within there crowded laboratory. It has a giant screen on it that plays a power point presentation entitled “how we plan to take over the world, by the Beard Bros.” They proceed to explain to Jack, using pictures and various fonts how his was the only body that the beard completely bonded with. So they needed to take his blood to finally create there army of super soldiers with beards that they could control and order to do whatever they wanted! They were just about to load him into the “all of your blood-taker 3000” and drain him when suddenly the character known as Lucy enters the scene in dramatic fashion!
“Lucy” : Hey...like...let him go. Okay?
With a delivery and range of a cardboard box.
Assistant Director: Cut!
Everyone groans and they start muttering about the number of times they’ve had to redo the scene because of her. I personally thought Steve Awesome was going to have a conniption fit, the way he rose up from his mark. He pulls off the muzzle and the fake beard and he rushed over to where she stood. I braced myself for the onslaught that would ensue.
Steve Awesome: Jen…
That was the actress’s name.
Steve Awesome: What’s going on here? You have been giving us wet noodle all day.
I was shocked to hear a calm and concerned voice coming from Steve. He wasn’t berating her in front of everyone or making her feel bad. He took her to the side and gently asked her what was wrong.
Jen: I’m just nervous, I don’t have a lot of experience on a real movie set.
Steve Awesome: Yeah well, you need to get that out of your head right now! This is the real deal. This is the big time. Now isn’t the time to be nervous, now is the time to be motivated Jen! Don’t you think I was nervous about making this movie and taking a huge risk!? Of course I was. It could cost me everything and ruin me!
I wondered what exactly he meant by that..
Steve Awesome: But I knew I had to get strong to make this happen. I knew I had to take life by the horns and give it everything we have! Because if we let opportunities pass us by because we were scared or nervous, you’ll always regret it.
It was a little bit cliche but it was true. Jen seemed to connect with what Steve was saying. You could tell by the way her eyes lit up and her sigh of relief.
Steve Awesome: So you need to take this moment of life and make it yours Jen. I know you can do it! Get angry. Get hyped up. That is your best friend in there! You might even love him. And those scientists assholes are doing bad stuff to him! What are you going to say about it!?
He shoved her a bit to get her even more amped up.
Steve Awesome: Get in there and nail that line!
I had to admit, Jen did look a lot more worked up then before. By now the stage crew had reset the scene and everyone takes their places. The assistant director calls action and the entire scene happens again for, I believe the marker said, twenty seven times. The scientists push “Jack Globen” into position and explain there evil plan to control the world with an army of bearded men who will do their bidding. Just then “Lucy” comes bursting into the lab! She points directly at the scientists with a fulminating rage! She screams at the top of her lungs!
“Lucy”: TAKE YOUR STINKING PAWS OFF HIM YOU DAMN DIRTY BEARD!!!”
She performed the line with a fire that I’m sure everyone felt within them. Her face displayed the pain and the anger and the concern the character faced for her friend. It was truly moving. One of the camera guys were crying.
Assistant Director: And…*sniff*...cut…
He wiped away a tear. He tried to do it discreetly but I totally noticed him. Everybody was stunned by the performance of that rookie actress, and it was all from Steve Awesome pulling it out of her. I guess that’s what a really great director does. Steve Awesome was a total pro in every sense of the word.
Steve Awesome: That’s a wrap for today folks. Drinks are on me at the titty bar! Let’s all go get fucked up!
Steve tosses the fake beard to the side and rushes out the door. The whole crew cheers and they all rush down to the bar and of course I’m going because, free booze right?
It had been a long time since I had been to the strip club. But I wanted to seem hip in front of Steve and the crew so I pretended I liked to drink. Wich was a bad idea of course because I’m a lightweight and I get drunk really fast. But it’s okay because everyone else was really drunk too and it was a perfect time to pick Steve’s brain. I learned about the many techniques Steve liked to use in the ring. The type of movies he liked. I learned that Steve had an affinity for cheesecake. And also strippers. And possibly cocaine...I wasn’t exactly sure.
A scantily clad waitress comes by and sets two more shots down on the table. I couldn’t really remember how many I’ve taken and that was a sign that I probably shouldn’t. I respectfully declined but Steve was persistent.
Steve Awesome: Come on Jeff!
He was stumbling and slurring his words as he spoke to me.
Steve Awesome: To our new friendship!
“Oh no” I said, politely declining again and sliding the shot towards his side of the table. “If I take one more shot, it will ruin me” I explained. But then I remembered earlier and maybe it was my buzz talking but I had to know what he meant.
“Say Shteve, wad didja mean when you say dis movie could ruin you?” I was clearly drunk. I definitely didn’t need that last shot.
He looks in both directions to make sure no one was listening and then he motions for me to come closer.
Steve Awesome: If this thing doesn’t work….then I am pretty much fucked, man. It will be over for me. I’d be ruined.
“What does that mean? I ask as I continue to dig for information. But Steve simply shakes his head and he slides the shot back toward me.
Steve Awesome: You want more info? Then take the shot.
Against my better judgement, I do. And it’s right about thrn thyt O 4get how t tysfhkobk...
