Greatest Interviewer Ever (XCrown RP for NOC, #5/9)
Jul 22, 2018 13:35:25 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer and Jack Diamond like this
Post by The Anomoly on Jul 22, 2018 13:35:25 GMT -5
..:: JULY 13TH, 2018 ::..
The shot begins just outside the XHF Arena, where in just 16 days, the XHF Network will present “Night of Champions 9” to millions of people around the world. People from Japan, Europe, the USA, hell even Canada will tune in for the Greatest Wrestling Show on Earth, as Mongo asserts his domination over the wrestling world.
A red sports car races down the road towards the arena. The driver of this vehicle? None other than The Anomoly, who’s had nothing short of a hellacious week so far, with the abduction of his family just days prior, and an unfruitful search to recover them thus far. Things really needed to kick into high gear in the search for Evelyn and Olivia, but first he needed to make a pit stop to the XHF Arena.
While driving, Anomoly notices a big billboard on the side of the road, promoting the new casino being funded by Jack Diamond. On the billboard, was Jack’s stupid, smiling face.
Anomoly takes a hard right and pulls into the parking lot, quickly finding a space to park. He jumps out of his car, and begins to march around, searching for someone in particular. He spots the person he’s looking for, and walks right up to the man of the hour…
Anomoly: You! Hey, you!
The camera pans, to reveal none other than Nelly Angel.
Nelly Angel: Me?
Anomoly: Yeah, you! You’re that interviewer guy, something something Angel. Former champion of some sort in AWF.
Nelly: Yeah, so what? I’m kinda busy dude.
Anomoly: I need you to interview me.
Nelly laughs, a hearty belly laugh, lasting a good ten seconds. He wipes a tear from his eye, flinging it at Anomoly who stares back distastefully.
Anomoly: I’m serious.
Nelly chuckles a bit more, before sighing and shaking his head at Anomoly.
Nelly: Sorry, rook. That isn’t what I do anymore. My role, is wrestling! And kid, if you win that X*Crown, I just might have to wrestle it from you.
Nelly flashes Anomoly a few finger guns, and begins to walk away. Anomoly stares holes into the back of Nelly’s head, before putting his hand on Nelly's shoulder. Nelly stops, but does not turn around.
Nelly: Why is it you need me to interview you? Why not Funaki? Nothing you can say will make me pull up a crew to do an interview.
Anomoly: What if I knew a guy who considered you the best interview in the world? Not just in the XHF, in the entire world!
Nelly pauses, slightly turning his head back to the former AXW Undisputed Champion.
Nelly: So what? Nothing you can say will make me interview YOU of all people.
Anomoly: What if Rob Arnold said that, and also recommended you to be my interviewer, as you’re the greatest interviewer of all time?
Nelly fully turns around, eyeing the small man who he nearly had on his knees, begging for an interview. Nelly smirked.
Nelly: Ah, what the hell. If Rob sends you, I’ll grill you. Best interviewer in the world?
Anomoly nods.
Anomoly: Best interviewer in all of space and time.
Anomoly holds his arms wide, clacking his teeth and clearly making a mockery of a certain WOKEN wrestler. Nelly smiles, and turns to a loitering camera crew.
Nelly: Hey! You guys, get over here! We’ve an important interview to conduct!
The camera cuts to a more professional outlook, Anomoly and Nelly standing in front of a colorful hippie van, in as formal and eye appealing an interview setting as you could possibly find in a parking lot. The camera zooms in and focuses on Nelly, who takes a deep breath and begins to speak.
Nelly: Good afternoon everyone, I’m Nelly Angel, the best interviewer to step foot in the XHF. Joining me today, is one of AXW’s top talents! He’s a former AXW Undisputed Champion, and looks to claim the coveted X*Crown Championship at our premiere Night of Champions 9. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present, The Anomoly!
Anomoly walks on screen, pimped in a three piece suit and a custom made mask to match, a totally different attire from just seen moments before. He nods to Nelly and looks straight into the camera.
Anomoly: Good to be here, Smell-I mean Nelly. Wonderful day here in Minnesota, as we’re just standing outside the XHF Arena which will be hosting the Night of Champions 9 event in 2 weeks time!
Nelly ignores the Smelly/Nelly mix-up, as it was a common error amoungst douchebags named Dylan. Somewhere, a man at a computer is laughing at this fourth wall breaking.
Nelly: I’ll handle the expositing around here. So Anomoly, in just two weeks time, you will be stepping inside one of the XHF’s most hellacious structures, the Four Ring Circus. And in that structure with you, will be 7 other men, all hungry and vying for the same thing you crave…
Anomoly: Some quality fu-[CENSORED] food?
Nelly: ...no, the X*Crown Championship… you do know what you signed up for, right?
Anomoly: Yeah, I signed up to kick some ass, take some names, and bring home Rob Arnold’s championship!
Anomoly sniffles and wipes a fake, non-existant tear from his eye.
Anomoly: Rob will be so proud when I bring the X*Crown home...
Anomoly snaps back to reality(oh, there goes gravity) as Nelly is now shouting his next phrase for the 3rd time.
Nelly: You mean, Michael Storm’s championship. Or the vacant championship, rather,
Anomoly shrugs, then shakes his head.
Anomoly: No, Rob Arnold’s championship. He’s been the only real X*Crown champion since the resurrection of the XHF. Let’s take a quick journey back in time, when Hardcore Harry was champion. He lost to a fucking pig. Said pig lost to that psychotic imbecile Kanyon. Kanyon lost to the rightful champion, Rob. Rob lost to Jack fu-[CENSORED] Diamond, and he lost to a vegetable! So no, the only worthy champ in that list is Rob. And the next champion, yours truly.
Anomoly adjusts the buttons on his sleeves as Nelly focuses on the task at hand, interviewing this abomination of a man. He keeps his cool, and presses on with the hard questions.
Nelly: So Anomoly, with the fact you have 7 of the XHF’s best superstars in the rings with you, what sort of game plan will you utilize to bring yourself to the winner’s circle?
Anomoly scoffs and rolls his eyes.
Anomoly: Nelly, if I was an idiot, I’d tell you my plan. But I’m smart, I’m calculated… actually, I’m more uncalculated and loose cannon than anything, but the fact if the matter was if I have a gameplan, that stays up here…
Anomoly taps his forehead.
Anomoly: ...and not out here.
Anomoly gestures about, as if to signify telling everyone his plans, which he most certainly will not. Nelly sighs in disappointment at this insane wack job of a "professional wrestler." This is the man who AXW chose to represent their company in one of the biggest matches of their companies history?
Nelly: Alright… anything you’d like to say to your opponents before we close up here?
Anomoly: Hmm…. nah, I’ll keep teasing them until I blow my load all over their dumb faces! Because let’s face it, they don’t deserve to hear me shit talk them yet. You know what that does? It fuels their fires, gives them something to work with. And I ain’t having that! If I’m gonna give those 7 neanderthals I’ll be sharing the rin with, it’s gonna be my boot shoved right into their anal cavity like they’re taking some Anal Molly! Any other shitty questions you got, Smelly Kringle? Huh? HUH?
Nelly: Um… I think that’s all the time we have for now. Thanks for joining me Anomoly…
Anomoly: Go fuck yourself.
Anomoly storms off set, and Nelly sighs almost disappointedly, before turning back to the camera.
Nelly: ...and as always, this is Nelly Angel, signing off.
Nelly sighs and drops the mic into the hand of a crew member, before seeing Anomoly making a beeline back towards him.
Anomoly: That was… the BEST interview I’ve ever had! You handled it well, and I really got that emotional, angry, pissed off feel in it. Rob was right, you ARE the best interviewer around! Kudos to you, dude! Fantastic work!
Anomoly slaps Nelly on the back, in a friendly manner. He then rips off his suit, as it was actually a tear away suit, and throws it at a crew member, before he walks off to his car, singing the praises of Nelly as he goes. Nelly just shakes his head, walking back to do whatever he wanted to do before he was so rudely interrupted.
Nelly: Wow, that Lord Dominicus ripoff is a real pain in the posterior. I sure hope he loses that X*Crown match,
The scene fades as Anomoly drives away in his car, while Nelly does… whatever he was doing prior to the interview.
..:: END SCENE ::..
