Meet the Nephew (NOC AXW RP #2)

[Curtis D. Kanyon]

**Fade in. Minnesota. Classified.**

*President Champion Curtis Kanyon is standing in a non-descript room.*

: Excuse me page boy! Can you bring over that bag of sand that I was putting away for later?

: Why of course Mr. President!

*The page walks away Curtis stands around looking at his watch. He hangs out some more then, taps his foot, then the page comes back and hands Curtis a bag of sand.*

: Turns out I will be using this after all. Who knew vacation to see my nephew would take up so much time?

*Curtis plops the bag down at his feet.*

: But don't worry “Price,” all these revelations may have stir up quite a few questions, and quite a few answers, but none of which will affect my ability to punch you in the face. Not only will I be punching you in the face, but I also believe it should not impair my ability to smack you in the back with a chair. I know we are not allowed to hit each other in the head anymore, but maybe I'll try to slip one in. Maybe smash you through a few tables, maybe snap a Singapore cane across your chest. I mean the possibilities are endless in a hardcore match. We get more leeway in this type of match, we're not pigeon holed into some sort of gimmick like some other matches that they do nowadays. Just nice, simple, clean hardcore match. The world is our oyster and we get to paint it using any tools we wish! I'm sure you'll bring a bunch of funky gadgets yourself, that's fine. Bring a shopping cart with the kitchen sink in it for all I care. Because nothing in this world is going to help you beat me.

*Curtis kicks at the bag at his feet.*

: I know, sorry again. But our match is Sunday, so at least I had a little more time. “Price,” you took something important away from me, and I will be getting that back by any means necessary. I’ve told you about the heirloom, it means so much, and I don’t need to bore you with more words about it now. But I also know I've tried to not talk about the other thing you did because I didn't want to admit how much it hurt. I tried to laugh it off, let it slide here and there, but the closer I get to beating you down, the more it angers me. You defiled my brother's grave, and just thinking about it makes me want to rip your head off in ways that just aren’t legal. If I could I would literally piss on you in this match. And while it is hardcore anything goes, for one I'm worried we would get Night of Champions kicked off the air, and for two, I have a feeling that you would enjoy it. So I won't do that. But just know that I want to. I saw my brother over this past week. I saw where you did what you did. And seeing the gravestone, it made me sick to my stomach remembering what I saw you do at his gravesite. You are real son of a bitch and I will hurt you. I will bring you to the brink of wishing you were not on this planet anymore.

*Curtis is straining from rage. He tries to calm down by taking a deep breath. The scene fades.*

**Fade out.

---

Fade in. Quebec Airport. Tarmac. Earlier this week.**

*We are now taken to the airport in Quebec, Canada, where Air Force One made an emergency landing, luckily where it was headed anyway, and the terrorists from the last time we saw the president are getting arrested. We see president Kanyon and his First Lady giving a report to the mounties, because I assume they’re in charge up there. As they are, Jake and Lucifer run up to the president.*

: How'd you guys get here already?

: The escape pod got us to the New Jersey airport. We made the drive up from there. Its actually quite a nice drive. You took a long time with those terrorists.

: But thank you for saving our lives. Now we've got news for you! We have your nephew waiting in the special government restricted section of the airport, because airports totally have those.

: Hot diggity damn!

*Curtis runs toward some airport doors. Jake runs up next to him and points in the other direction. Curtis then turns and runs off in that direction and the camera follows him along as dramatic music plays.



Curtis runs and runs and the camera follows behind. Esmeralda at the kids start running as well. Jake, Lucifer, and secret service also in tow. Paul Smackage is the only one not running. Curtis eventually gets to the door and kicks it open. Curtis barrels in and we see a kid about 12 years old maybe.*



: Are you-- you must be-- oh my gosh! My nephew!

*Curtis runs and embraces the boy. The boy looks up.*

: Hello Mr. President.

*Curtis releases the hug.*

: That’s Uncle President Champion to you. Nice to finally meet you… um… uh… what do I call you?

: Charles Bass, my friends also call me Chuck.

*Curtis looks confused.*

: Oh right! You're adopted. Of course. You wouldn't be Charles Kanyon, but technically you are a Kanyon, you just didn’t know you are. Also sorry that you are biological mom was kind of a schitso nut bag whore.

: It's okay, my first adopted mom was kind of a schitso to.

: Bass huh? Yeah that's weird. We knew a Bass who was also kind of a schitso… hold on a minute. Who is your adopted mom Chuck?

: Her name was Nikki.

: Thank goodness, I was thinking it was Nicole.
Chuck: Well, I mean that's her full name.

*Curtis gasps. As he does, the camera zooms in on his face as he remembers Nicole Bass. We then do a white fade as music starts up and we see old black and white clips:



We see clips from the old XHF days that you can find on the XHF network in the archives! We see Nicole Bass joining Kanyon Inc with Curtis’ brother Chris. Then we see you her and Chris winning the XHF tag team titles, yes that's right, that happened. Then we see Nicole getting hit with the Kanyon Cutter from Chris Kanyon when he was dressed as DDK, which happened to break her neck. Then we see her on the stand at the trial of Chris Kanyon, trying to get him put in jail, while still wearing a neck brace. Then we see a clip of a sexy blonde lady who looked a lot like Tara Reid coming around and trying to seduce all the members of Kanyon Enterprise. And then we see the reveal that it was Nicole Bass, who had gotten plastic surgery to look like a hot chick in order to get revenge on Chris Kanyon. And then we see a shot of her back gravestone because at some point after that she died. The white fade then flashes again to bring us back to Curtis meeting his nephew and you're all caught up!*

: Wow, she was all messed up in the head. How did you do it? I know you’re just a kid, but how are you still sane? Wait a minute—I just remembered we came to see you to make sure you're not trying to kill me! Are you?

: What? No. I didn't even know you were my uncle until last week.

: Interesting. And this isn’t some prank by “Price?”

: Who’s Price?

: Eh, good enough for me. Chuck, meet my wife Esmeralda, and my two kids, your cousins Pedro and Pepito. And these are my two detectives, Jake and Lucifer. This is the top man of my secret service Jim. And this is my gimp, Paul-- where is Paul?

*They look around, and you can see Paul Smackage looking through the window outside of the room. Curtis waves him in, but Paul just waves back, slow and creepy like.*

: Oh that's Paul for ya, he’s kind of weird. Let him be outside, whatever. Anyway, did you not know of your biological family at all?

: No, my mom didn’t let me watch wrestling. But she did tell me how terrible of a person Chris Kanyon was, I never knew why.

: Yeah, Nicole didn’t like us very much at the end of her run. But it was all on her. I swear. Although, my bro was kind of a dick, so I can’t blame her… oh right, that’s your dead dad, sorry.

: It’s okay, I didn’t know him.

: Did you want to go him at his final resting place? Maybe that’ll help us bond or whatever?

: Sure, I guess. Pay my respects and all that.

**Fade out.

---

Fade in. New Jersy. Cemetery. Daylight.**

*We cut to the cemetery in New Jersey, Curtis and Charles are walking along the road as they get to Chris’ grave site.*

: This is the same cemetery my first adopted mom is buried in. At least, I was told. I was never able to visit before.

: Oh, I didn't know that. We can check that out as well if you want.

: That would be nice.

*They get quiet as they stare at Christopher Kanyon’s grave. Curtis gets visibly angry.*

: Everything okay Uncle President Champion?

: I’m just remembering something. I need to beat up a guy who did something vile here.

: Oh. Okay. That’s weird.

: The life of a wrestler.

*Some more awkward silence.*

: Well, I hope you beat him to a pulp.

: Spoken like a true Kanyon. And don’t worry, I will.

: Good. I know I didn’t know him, but no one deserves to have their final resting place desecrated. Except Hitler… and that guy you replaced.

: Yeah I know. But don’t get too political, Steve hates that. Anyway, want to check in on your adopted mum?

: Okay.

*They walk back to the lobby I guess? Cemeteries have those, yeah? So we cut to inside the lobby and see the two go up to the desk. Secret service just out of view.*

: Excuse me?

: Yes?

: I’m looking for the grave of Nicole Bass.

*The clerk types on a computer.*

: Sorry kid, no Nicole Bass on file.

: But she died years ago, and we were told she was buried here.

: Unless you mean Eugene Bass, who died in 1849, because that’s the only Bass we have in this here cemetery.

*Chuck’s eyes start to well up. He looks at Curtis.*

: What does this mean Uncle President Champion?

: I don’t know, but I have some detectives who can find out.

*Curtis pulls out his phone and starts dialing as he and the boy walk away from the counter.*

**Fade out.

---

Fade in. Minnesota. Classified location.**



*Music plays as Curtis stares at the camera. The decibels go down after twenty seconds or so so Kanyon can talk over it.*

: “Price,” you’ve played wrestler long enough. You’ve piggy backed off of another mans fame long e-fuckin-nuff! You make believe that nothing is wrong, until you're crying. You make believe life is so long, until you're dying. You ruin everything and you keep fucking with me, well now it’s over!

: Sir, are you quoting Limp Bizkit?

: What? No. What’s wrong with you? I’ve already done that bit. Back to “Price.” I’m the champion! I’m the man to beat! Heavy is the head that wears the crown! I’d love to be the one to disappoint you when I don't fall down! But you, you don't understand what I'm attempting to explain, because you know it all, right? I guess things will never change.

: Sir, that’s definitely Limp Bizkit.

: What are you, the quote police! Look, maybe I heard a song earlier today and some of it made sense for saying what I’m saying now! Is that so wrong?

: No, I guess not… just seemed less original.

: Boy! I will—no, no, I’m not mad at you! I’m mad at that phony “Price.” And understand one thing “Price” as you listen to this threatening score while I talk down to you. I became the AXW champion by any means necessary. And I will keep the AXW championship around my waist by any means necessary! I don't care how many BANG!s it takes. I don't care how much you scream in agony, we will not be done until I say we're done. Do you understand me "Price?" You will never impersonate anyone again when I'm done with you. And I understand how ironic that is coming from the Immatator of Violence, but I don't give a fuck. I hope you're ready for the hardcore war to end all hardcore wars. I have a lot of pent up rage to unload, and you're the reason for it, so that's going to make unloading on you feel even better!

*Curtis scowls at the camera.*

: Sir, are you sure that's the line you want to end on?

: Why?

*Curtis thinks it over.*

: I get what you're saying, thanks. You did good today page boy. Okay. You're right. I'll just end the usual way. "Price" or whoever you really are, you will feel... the... BANG!

*Curtis scowls at the camera again.*

**Fade out.**