Anarchy 39 Results

[vastrix]

The lights in the arena suddenly dim as “Circus Apocalypse” by Vermillion Lies begins playing, causing a congestion of fans in the arena as they have less light to which to find their seats.



Armand von Krauss steps out from the back as the fans begin to boo him. Both for being him and for coming out early. He lights his Egyptian cigarette and makes his way down toward the ring.



TOMMY ONIONS: The boss is out awful early tonight. I wonder if he has something to say about being the only owner on deck tonight?



JOSEPH GREER: Only owner on deck? How do you know that-



TOMMY ONIONS: I have my ways!



In the ring, Armand looks around at the booing fans, waiting for them to take their seats and quiet down while flicking ashes onto the mat. When they have sufficently done so, he begins.



ARMAND VON KRAUSS: As you probably have all heard by now Rob Riot, Shane Mitchell, and Dylan Erickson are not in the building. They are taking the time to rest after their respective matches in Minneapolis. If you haven’t already seen the show, where have you been?



JOSEPH GREER: I’ve heard that both Dylan Erickson and Shane Mitchell have been in the hospital since their match ended.



TOMMY ONIONS: I should hope to fucking spit! I still think it was wrong of them to not allow us to do commentary for the RSW match. Or even, you know, the whole show! Like King and Hawke know what the fuck they were talking about or anything…



JOSEPH GREER: Hawke talked the XHF fans through the feud between Dylan and Shane pretty well.



Inside the ring, Armand smokes away at his expensive imported cigarette, seeming to have something else to say.



ARMAND VON KRAUSS: Also, we have decided to let both Soothsayer and Nightvasio go. Soothsayer’s behaviour of late has been inciting too many riots and lawsuits to easily overlook. So, he is gone.



JOSEPH GREER: With Soothsayer gone, what does that mean for Dagvald’s title defense later?



TOMMY ONIONS: Dagvald wins by default!



ARMAND VON KRAUSS: This means that Hank will not have to step into the ring tonight! I have something in mind for Dagvbald so he hasn’t got it any easier. I won’t tell you who it is, but you’ll be lucky to keep that gold.



“Circus Apocalypse” by Vermillion Lies begins playing again as Armand von Krauss makes his way to the back, fans jumping out of the way as Armand flicks his cigarette butt into the audience.



JOSEPH GREER: I wonder who that could be?



TOMMY ONIONS: He just wants to keep us all in suspense! That bastard!



JOSEPH GREER: I guess that sort of makes some kind of twisted sense. Did you see him flick his cigarette into the crowd? How could he be so rude?



TOMMY ONIONS: He is Armand von Krauss. That’s how!



JOSEPH GREER: Right. Well, we have our opening bout coming up, The debut of “the Enchantress” Britney against Apathy. Who will win?



TOMMY ONIONS: Does it matter? Boobs all around!



JOSEPH GREER: There is something wrong with you.



TOMMY ONIONS: I like the female form, especially the boobs. Change my mind.

[vastrix]

BOB MOONEY: This is the opening bout of the evening! Featuring first the challenger “the Enchantress” Britney!



“Hell on Wheels” by Pistol Annies begins playing as “the Enchantress” Britney walks out from the back to silence from the fans. She ignores them, heading down to the ring.



TOMMY ONIONS: This match is going to have more sloppy couter than a Dukes of Hazard reunion!



JOSEPH GREER: I don’t understand the reference.



TOMMY ONIONS: Me neither. I thought that I sounded smart there for a moment. Britney is kind of hot. You think that she’s a whore like Apathy?



JOSEPH GREER: Why do you insist on calling Elizabeth a whore?



TOMMY ONIONS: You call a kettle black? You call grass green? You call a steak a steak? You call Elizabeth a whore.



JOSEPH GREER: All I can say is that Eoin O’Rourke is going to bust you in the face when he hears of this.



TOMMY ONIONS: No, he busts Apathy in the face, cause she’s a whore.



BOB MOONEY: And her opponent…Apathy!



“I Miss the Misery” by Halestorm begins playing as Elizabeth O’Rourke makes her way down the aisle to the boos from the fans.



JOSEPH GREER: I still can’t believe that she cuffed Andi’s top to the turnbuckle rope!



TOMMY ONIONS: Jesus, you would think you would get this by now. Whores stoop to those tactics. I’m not saying I don’t like it, but a bagel is a bagel. You know?



Apathy rolls into the ring, attacking Britney right away. A few slugs, a knee to the gut, and a few double axe handle blows send her straight to the mat where Apathy begins with the kicks to the ribcage!



Britney quickly makes her way back to her feet, but is doubled over from a knee to the gut and then gutwrench suplexed back to the mat for the cover!



One



Two



Thr-Britney kicks out!



Apathy kneels up, slapping Britney across the face with a sudden savagery that even the ref holds his cheek in sympathy pain.



While the ref isn’t looking exactly, Apathy places a knee across the throat of Britney. The ref looks and yells at Apathy to break the hold when Britney begins slapping the mat in a blind panic.



TOMMY ONIONS: See? Whore tactics. I love it!



JOSEPH GREER: Disgusting.



Apathy backs away for a moment, but goes right back into it. She hits a couple of stomps before picking Britney up and hits an Evenflow DDT! She quickly goes for the pinfall.



One



Two



Three!



TOMMY ONIONS: A blindingly quick match! That whore can kick some ass!



JOSEPH GREER: The match usually goes against Apathy. This is a first that she’s managed to get a quick win in a long time. Oh, look out!



TOMMY ONIONS: Look out for what?



Apathy stands before the commentary table with a smile. Tommy Onions stands up, sticking out his hand. Apathy responds by decking him, knocking him clear out of his headset. Joseph holds up his hands as if to say “I’m innocent!”.



Apathy spits on the downed Tommy and heads to the back.



Tommy Onions gets back into his seat, puts his headset on, and rubs his jaw in pain.



TOMMY ONIONS: Dude! She touched me like she meant it! That’s such a hot fucking whore!



JOSEPH GREER: I don’t think she meant that to be a good touch. If you know what I mean.



TOMMY ONIONS: Good touch, bad touch, whore touch. All the same where it concerns Apathy.

[vastrix]

BOB MOONEY: This next match is scheduled for one fall! Featuring first the challenger…Xander Joseph!



“X Gonna Give It to Ya” by DMX begins playing as Xander Joseph runs out from the back to light cheering from the crowd. He makes his down to the ring at a light jog.



TOMMY ONIONS: He’s a big of a short and fat fellow. Ain’t he? You would think that he could make a play for Santa Claus.



JOSEPH GREER: That’s an odd comparison. Why would you-



TOMMY ONIONS: I wanna sit on his lap and ask for gifts!



JOSEPH GREER: Would figure that we would come around to that.



BOB MOONEY: And his opponent…Natasha Harris!



“Hold Me Down” by Halsey begins playing as Natasha Harris walks out from the back to a mixed reaction from the crowd. She seems a bit put out at the boos, but doesn’t let it disrupt her too much as she makes her way down to the ring.

JOSEPH GREER: The crowd not liking Natasha’s performance here of late.



TOMMY ONIONS: Well, duh. She’s been a drain on the talent pool.



As the bell rings to start the match, Natasha moves to attack, but catches a shoulder to the chest that sends her straight to the mat. Natasha jumps back to her feet, nailing Xander with a hard right.



Xander only grins, grabbing Natasha by the wrist, and pulling her into another shoulder attack that sends her right back to the mat.



This time Natasha lays on the mat, kicking up to catch Xander in the back of the knee to knock him down to his knees. Natasha jumps up, hits a roundhouse kick to the jaw that sends Xander backwards to the mat.



Xander starts to sit up, but Natasha jumps into a knee strike that sends him back to the mat with authority. Xander sits up again, catching Natasha by the ankle as she goes for a side kick. He pulls her in, lifting her up as he stands, and hits a powerslam to the mat. He hooks a leg for the cover!



One



Tw-Natasha kicks out!



TOMMY ONIONS: Xander is like two Natashas!



JOSEPH GREER: He is bigger and stronger, but Natasha has some natural talent too.



Xander kneels up, watching as Natasha rolls away to get some space between her and him. She comes at Xander with a drop kick, but is deflected to the mat. She jumps back up, but is leveled by a clothesline from Xander.



Xander pulls Natasha up and whips her into the corner where she impacts the turnbuckles and falls down to lay on the mat with the bottom turnbuckle propping up her head. Xander runs at the corner and-



Misses a cannonball into the corner as Natasha rolls out of the ring!



TOMMY ONIONS: That was some quick action right there!



JOSEPH GREER: I think the entire ring moved a couple of inches!



Natasha rolls back into the ring as Xander slowly gets up. She aims a hip attack at him, but bounces off a shoulder charge from Xander.



Xander seizes Natasha by the front before she falls to the mat, but releases her so that she can stand on her own when she responds with a knee strike in a very private area!



TOMMY ONIONS: Ding!



JOSEPH GREER: Doesn’t that hurt you too?



TOMMY ONIONS: Oh I’m cringing and celebrating at once!



A hurricanrana sends Xander to the mat where Natasha. goes for the pinfall!



One



Two



Thr-Xander kicks out!



Natasha gets up, waits for Xander to start getting up, and hits a switchblade kick!



TOMMY ONIONS: Jesus! I don’t think I’ve ever been quite so scared of a woman’s legs!



JOSEPH GREER: That was quite the kick!



Natasha perches behind Xander until he rises, hitting a German suplex with a bridge for the pinfall.



One



Tw-Xander kicks out!



Natasha pulls Xander up and applies a sleeper hold. It isn’t long before the ref begins checking Xander’s arm to see if he’s asleep.



Once.



The arm drops



Twice.



The arm drops.



Thrice.



The arm begins to drop, but rises up.



Xander reaches down with both arms to lift Natasha up. He flings himself backwards to slam Natasha into the corner to break the hold!



Xander turns around, grabbing Natasha up, and hitting a t-bone suplex! This is followed up by a somersault leg drop and a cover!



TOMMY ONIONS: For a chubby dude, this Xander can move around pretty quickly.



JOSEPH GREER: This is true. Natasha’s in a lot of trouble right now.



One



Two



Thr-Natasha kicks out!



Xander pulls Natasha up and whips her chest first into the turnbuckles. He follows at top speed, hitting an avalanche! He applies a sleeper hold, dragging Natasha back a few steps from the corner so that he can launch her over his head into a suplex onto her head!



JOSEPH GREER: Xander with the X Spot! This could be all over, folks!



TOMMY ONIONS: Did you see how awkward that move is? I should see if Natasha can feel my touch below the neck…



Xander goes for the cover once again.



One



Two



Three!



JOSEPH GREER: I would think that it wouldn’t go well for you. Natasha is friends with folks like Jessica Tendonin.



TOMMY ONIONS: Oohh I’m scared. Not.



Xander celebrates his victory in the ring as Natasha slowly gets up to head to the back.

[vastrix]

The powerful riff of In Horror marks Dagvald’s arrival as he walks out onto the stage. He strides onto the platform below the RioTron as the images of Viking glory play out on the big screen. He glares at the audience with dismay, peering out at them through the slits in his Viking helmet. His battle armor, and the Legacy title draped across his shoulder, glint against the spotlights. His axe in his left hand and shield slung over his back are caked in blood. He raises his right hand, bringing the microphone to his mouth.



DAGVALD RIDDIK: Kill the music. It’s about time I speak to the masses. (In Horror fades out and the lights focus on Dag as he walks down the ramp.) I’ve been in this company for two months, wrestled at two shows, ended two careers, and won a championship. Yet, I still haven’t had the opportunity to formally introduce myself to those in the audience and those watching at home.



He steps through the ropes and struts to the center of the ring before looking straight into the camera with a huge smirk on his face.



DAGVALD RIDDIK: My name is Dagvald Riddik, RSW Legacy Champion, NeoNordicist. You lot, I know already, as the delusional, misinformed, deceived throngs of useful idiots who participate in and perpetuate your own slavery.( This draws harsh boos from the crowd.)



JOSEPH GREER: Mentioning slavery wasn’t the best idea in this former Portuguese colony. It’s like he’s trying to piss the fans here off.



TOMMY ONIONS: Why would he bother trying not to? He hasn’t shown any interest in the opinion of the audience so far. Whatever NeoNordicism is, it doesn’t seem to rely on popularity contests.



DAGVALD RIDDIK: Your jeers of protest mean nothing to me, just like the protests against Trump’s presidency mean nothing to him. (A massive throng of boos erupts from the crowd in response to the easy heat.) Just as there is nothing they can do to unseat the forty-fifth president, there is absolutely nothing any of you, or any of the other wrestlers in this company can do to take away my Legacy Championship or my platform for spreading my glorious ideology. That being said, I want to directly address those at home, because I don’t give a damn what anyone in this shithole country says. And when I say at home, I don’t mean just any obese moron sitting in his mom’s basement. I am referring directly to the Aryan people, in our true home, the motherland of Europe.



DAGVALD RIDDIK: NeoNordicism is the way of the future, and the downfall of civilization will take hold in the birthplace of civilization. I reach out directly to you, white brothers and sisters of the north lands, to heed my warning. I speak to the young, able bodied men and women, who in ages past would be conquering new lands and raiding stores of vast treasure. I implore you to take my foresight to heart, and prepare for the inevitable end of all you hold dear. This must not be your end, but rather, your rebirth. We must overthrow our oppressors before we are replaced in our own home, abolish the foolish and narcissistic concept of society and return ourselves to the true natural order of mankind as the gods intended.



The champion hoists his belt high in the air.



DAGVALD RIDDIK: Some of you will doubt me, but I have plenty of reason to be believed. You can trust me and my preaching, because it has born results beyond anything the slavish nature of being “civilized” has ever created. Look each other in the eyes, Nordic brethren, and recognize your ability and potential. Then look to those holding you back, those above you, those with their hands around your throats, and throw off these restraints! Follow me as I guide you all to freedom! Watch, as tonight, I decimate a rival ideology in this culture war and grind yet another RSW legacy to dust, leaving only mine to carve out our place in history. This championship will stand for NeoNordicism above all else. Tonight, my beliefs shall guide me to my third victory in a row, and I shall end a third career, because all who oppose NeoNordicism shall fall!



JOSEPH GREER: Dagvald, a relatively inexperienced wrestler and new member of the roster, is definitely confident in his ability.



TOMMY ONIONS: Why wouldn’t he be? He’s already won a championship and put Rouser on indefinite medical leave!



In Horror beings to play again as Dag walks triumphantly back up the ramp to backstage.

[vastrix]

As the show returns from commercial, “Judas” by Fozzy is playing as the man known as Hunter Valentyne is standing in the ring with microphone in hand. The fans in attendance are not sure what to think after last week so they are mostly waiting to see what Hunter has to say.



HUNTER: Sometimes when you come home from a long time away you remember things how you wish they were not how they truly are. You almost romanticize the way things rightfully should have been rather than the reality of how this wrestling company, if you can even call the shit that happen in this ring wrestling, sucks balls. But Real Shitty Wrestling is a microcosm of the decaying of morality in this society.



The fans are not happy with the words and begin to boo.



HUNTER: Shut the fuck up. I don’t boo when you losers come up short with your old lady in bed while she is forced to fake orgasms. I have been back for exactly one fucking show and what do we have? Another PT Merciless whine bitch and cry session and another firing. Okay so he went by the name Soothsayer…who cares. With a name like that you would think the management of this shithole would have seen it coming but apparently they refuse to learn from history.



I feel bad for you people having to listen to some {Mongo Edit: Nah we don't say that anymore} refer to himself as the future of Real Shitty Wrestling. Actually it makes sense because he has literally no talent, you know like much of the past of Real Shitty Wrestling. A history of bad gimmicks, cowards running from fights, a jackass smoking Egyptian cigarettes like that’s suppose to impress someone and Chris Gibson getting his ass kicked weekly but somehow getting pushed like he’s important. Not to mention…Unstoppable machines and monsters that ended up getting stopped by yours truly. So if Eddie Havok wants to claim that legacy then go right ahead. It’s like bragging about fucking the ugly fat chick in row 2.



Now, what happened the two times I said fuck it and left? And why would I waste my time returning to this shithole? Especially when I know the guy this bankrupt wrestling company was named after will do nothing but run from me. Rob Riot is like that chick in row 2. Worth absolutely nothing and no balls whatsoever. So Rob, win all the bullshit titles you want. They don’t mean shit until you step into a ring with me.



The fans are not happy with Hunter as they start whatever one word chant they can remember. We all know wrestling fans are only mentally capable of recalling one word at a time from their limited memory.



HUNTER: I became disillusioned with this horrible society and their ideals. So I left two times to establish my own society. Don’t worry Shane, I am not stealing your overdone religious cult gimmick. No this is about what needs to change. This is about no longer worrying about offending you tend hearted snowflakes. This is about pointing out bullshit. So your reality check is back. The RSW management is no longer going unchecked. When you losers fuck up, I will be there to let you know about it. Damn as much as you people fuck up, I’m going to be very busy. RSW not fucking up would be like Rob Riot telling the truth. Never going to fucking happen. So I am going to take your do called future and beat his ass. I’m going to beat the stupid right out of him. Six years from now when the stupid is beaten out of Havok, I am coming for the one thing I have wanted for 4 years and that is to beat the piss out of that lying, hypocritical bitch Rob Riot. Now back to your no selling, unrealistic, nonsensical show. I hope you people die.



Judas by Fozzy plays as Hunter is pelted with trash and stale beer as he walks from the ring.

[vastrix]

JOSEPH GREER: Up next we have perennial challenger and underdog Eddie Havok stepping into the RSW ring to face newcomer ‘Lucky’ Joe Beb!



TOMMY ONIONS: Newcomer? Is Beb like ninety something years old? Shit I’m starting to think his nickname refers to if he’ll live to tomorrow!



JOSEPH GREER: Beb is many years Havok’s senior. But don’t count out the heart of this older warrior.



“Psychosocial ” By Slipknot suddenly hits and the lights begin to flash violently to the beat. The ramp starts to flood with smoke as red lasers begin to strobe around the arena.



BOB MOONEY: The following contest is scheduled for one fall…introducing first; from Harlow, Essex, England…weighing in at two hundred and twenty four pounds…he is the self proclaimed ‘Future of RSW’…Havok!!!



Eddie Havok emerges from the back, an apparent chip on his shoulder. Pacing the stage, the fans shower him with a mix of cheers and boos.



JOSEPH GREER: There’s Havok…as he makes his way to the ring, we nearly saw Havok become the first ever RSW Grand Slam Champion when he challenged Dylan Erickson not too long ago.



TOMMY ONIONS: Almost…code for he fuckin lost.



Walking the entrance ramp, he comes to the end he looks around before he begins circle the ring.



JOSEPH GREER: Yes Havok came up short but one has to admire his persistence.



TOMMY ONIONS: Code for ‘ability to keep losing’. Look Greer, Havok hasn’t won a match in a long time but keeps getting opportunities. This could be the beginning of the end of RSW’s Little Havok That Could! He’s washed up before he even reached the top Greer!



He slowly climbs up the steel steps before stepping through the ropes. Shawna checks Havok for any possible foreign weapons before letting him go about his routine.



JOSEPH GREER: Shawna making sure the playing field stays level.



TOMMY ONIONS: I’d level her playing field Greer…



JOSEPH GREER: What? What does that even mean Tommy? Are you even trying anymore?



TOMMY ONIONS: Hey! I usually say that to you fuckbag, get your own lines…and of course I’m trying! Trying to level her playing field! Boom! Got it twice!



Havok marches across the ring to the farthest turnbuckle and climbs up posturing for the crowd, he raises both arms above his head.



JOSEPH GREER: Great…but here’s something you’re not taking into account. Havok has been in there with a who’s who of RSW stars and has been learning and getting better since the day he stepped into the Riot Star ring!



As his music dies down as Eddie ditches his leather jacket and jumps down onto the apron and waits in the corner, pacing back and forth ready for the attack.



TOMMY ONIONS: So what you’re saying is don’t base your opinion off of the past. By that logic, if your ex wife stopped taking flaming hot semen to the face four nights a week, you’d get back together?



JOSEPH GREER: What?! No! Of course not!



TOMMY ONIONS: I rest my case…once a loser, always a loser!



Before Joseph can make a rebuttal or Bob Mooney can begin the introductions for Joe Beb, a declaration blasts across the arena sound system…”PARTY ROCK!!!”



The crowd cheers as ‘Party Rock Anthem’ by LMFAO comes to a slow start.



‘PARTY ROCK IS IN THE HOUSE TONIGHT!’



The crowd begins getting into the song if not the debuting wrestler, an old school ‘wave’ begins passes around the arena.



‘EVERYBODY JUST HAVE A GOOD TIME!’



JOSEPH GREER: This is surreal, look at the crowd, they’re doing the wave Tommy!



TOMMY ONIONS: Shit check out the entrance ramp.



‘AND WE GON’ MAKE YOU LOSE YOUR MIND… EVERYBODY JUST HAVE A GOOD TIME!’



BOB MOONEY: And his opponent; hailing from the Oregon territories…weighing in at two hundred and thirty five pounds…’Lucky’ Joe Beb!!!



A blinding white light shines focused on a figure with his back to the arena. A disco ball lowers drawing a cheer from the crowd.



Casting a long shadow, the build up to the song’s true beginning is punctuated as the crowd chants in unison…’We JUST WANT SEE YOU…SHAKE THAT!



Turning around at just the right moment, the bass kicks in!



JOSEPH GREER: Oh my God! That’s ummm…



Turning, ‘Lucky’ is wearing classic Zebra stripe short trunks with white boots and clearly has a massive, chemically enhanced, erection bobbing along to the music.



TOMMY ONIONS: His dick Joey…that’s his dick.



Gyrating to the music screams of shock, horror and laughter merging to form the ovation for ‘Lucky’ Joe Beb, who, true to his word, appears to have taken several handfuls of ‘marital aids’ prior to stepping through the curtain.



A scattering of fans in the crowd shine their cellphone lights back to him as he walks down the aisle his shadow is now replaced by his ‘other shadow’.



JOSEPH GREER: I…I don’t have words Tommy…



TOMMY ONIONS: Shit! I do! Welcome to Anarchy Thirty Nine and if you’re just tuning in, yes that’s a ninety something plus year old man with an erection dancing his way to the ring!



As Lucky Joe dances to the ring, Havok appears borderline disgusted as he watches his opponent make a hard line towards the ring.



Entering the ring, Havok is already in mid protest to Shawna.



HAVOK: You can’t be serious?!



SHAWNA SAVANTE: Sorry Havok, technically he’s not breaking any rules.



Clearly upset, Eddie’s features relax slightly as he smirks.



HAVOK: Then you’ll have no problem checking him for weapons like you did me, right?



Cursing her luck, Shawna is caught between a rock and a hard place so to speak, but must concede.



Swallowing hard, Shawna cringes her way through a pat down that has the crowd howling in a mix of laughter and shame.



JOE BEB: Really get in there sweetheart I could have anything hidden in there!



DING! DING!! DING!!!



JOSEPH GREER: And there’s the bell, both men are ready to go!



TOMMY ONIONS: I’d say Joe is extra ready Greer!



JOSEPH GREER: You’re going to do this all match aren’t you?



TOMMY ONIONS: All match!



Havok and Beb meet at center ring and begin circling. Havok is looking very hesitant to be the first to engage.



TOMMY ONIONS: Do something!



JOSEPH GREER: You go tell Havok how he should start this match!



TOMMY ONIONS: I’m no expert or nothin but I think maybe changing ring gear for a pizza delivery uniform or maybe a nice piece of tasteful lingerie.



After a few moments of struggling back and forth within, Greer’s words are proven true as Havok finally goes in for a collar and elbow tie up.



JOSEPH GREER: Traditional start from Havok now as both men jockey for position.



TOMMY ONIONS: Ha! A guy with a giant boner is jockeying, good one Joey!



JOSEPH GREER: I’m not trying to…



As they struggle, Havok looks to corner Beb. As they almost reach the corner, ‘Lucky’ Joe changes the momentum.



JOSEPH GREER: Standing duck under go behind and Joe Beb has Havok pressed in the corner!



TOMMY ONIONS: Call that a go behind or a rear waist lock or whatever the fuck you want, but look at Havok’s face…I call that a sexual assault!



Clearly uncomfortable, Joe continues pushing Havok into the corner. The more Havok squirms, the more the crowd cheers, laughs and groans. Eventually Shawna is forced to intervene and begins counting.



1…



JOSEPH GREER: Now Beb gets a five count to release the hold before he’s disqualified.



2…



TOMMY ONIONS: This is probably the longest five seconds of Havok’s life!



3…



JOSEPH GREER: It’s all part of the game Tommy, to Beb this is all psychological warfare. Getting in his opponent’s head…



TOMMY ONIONS: …and ass.



4…



Just as Shawna places her hand on Joe to break the hold before reaching five, Joe immediately breaks the hold without even a moment to spare.



JOSEPH GREER: See? He’s getting in Havok’s head! The second he was about to be disqualified he release the OH!



On the break, Havok turns and sends an echo throughout the arena with a thunderous knife edge chop take saps the air from Joe’s lungs.



CROWD: Woooooooo!



JOSEPH GREER: Did you hear that?! That one echoed into the cheap seats!



TOMMY ONIONS: Sure did! Haven’t heard something like that since I slapped your ex wife’s ass!



Before Greer can respond, Havok pulls Joe from the corner twisting on an arm wrench as he does before burying a shin kick into ‘Lucky’ Joe’s ribs.



JOSEPH GREER: Following up now with a kick to the ribs, this is what Havok needs. Forget the mind games from Beb and get the job done!



Twisting and ducking, Havok snaps off a northern lights suplex, bridging for the cover!



1…



…….Havok kicks out just before Shawna slaps the mat for a two count!



JOSEPH GREER: Havok with the northern light suplex! Only getting a one count! Joe Beb will be hard to put away Tommy!



TOMMY ONIONS: I bet!!!! Ha!



Following up immediately, Havok hits the ropes dropping a swift and stiff leg drop on Joe.



JOSEPH GREER: Leg drop from Havok! He’s starting to gain precious momentum here Tommy!



TOMMY ONIONS: I’d just run and take the count out!



JOSEPH GREER: Not Havok! He’s been someone the RSW fans can rally behind. Each and every event he comes out and gives his all in victory or defeat. You have to respect that Tommy!



Pulling Beb to his feet, another kick to the stomach and a snapping left hand lead to Havok Irish whipping Joe across the ring to the far corner.



JOSEPH GREER: Havok now whipping Joe to the corner with authority!



Joe climbs the turnbuckle to the second rope and begins raining punches down upon the head of Havok.



CROWD: ONE! Two!Three! FOUR!



JOSEPH GREER: I think the fans’ count is a tad off Tommy…



TOMMY ONIONS: Not if you count Joe’s wang slapping Havok in the face after each punch! But back to what you were saying…I have to respect a guy who’s getting paint brushed with a man’s dick streaming live over the internet? Do I have that right? New RSW sponsor folks…YouPorn! Finally we made it to the big time!



CROWD: Four!Five! SIX! Seven!Eight! NINE!



JOSEPH GREER: Is Shawna counting those…ummmm, ‘extra strikes’?



TOMMY ONIONS: We’ll know if Joe gets to ten!



Looking back to Shawna defiantly, ‘Lucky’ Joe blows her a kiss and lands one more shot before grabbing Havok by the head.



CROWD: TEN!……WE THINK!



JOSEPH GREER: Mercifully that is over…



Leaping backward, Joe locks up Havok’s arm and looks to cap off his bludgeoning of Havok with a short arm clothesline.



JOSEPH GREER: Arm wrench, Beb looking for a short arm clothesline…



Ducking under, Havok snaps back the larger man onto the back of his head!



JOSEPH GREER: …oh! What a snap German suplex counter by Havok!



Rushing out from the corner, Havok drives his left knee into the side of Joe’s head; crumpling him face first to the mat.



TOMMY ONIONS: Even though he’s down face first, I bet he’s a couple inches off the canvas Joey! Ha! Get it?!



JOSEPH GREER: You’re a horrible person Tommy. But Havok now back in control, let’s see what he does. This has been a competitive match from the opening bell!



Getting to a knee, Havok leans back against the second rope taking a deep breath. Realizing Joe hasn’t moved, he rolls him over and hooks the leg.



JOSEPH GREER: We’ve seen that from Havok before! Cover!



……..1



………………2



……………….…………Joe drapes his foot over the bottom mere moments before Shawna can register the three count.



JOSEPH GREER: His foot’s on the rope!



TOMMY ONIONS: So’s his….



Shawna manages to stop her count, gaining Eddie’s attention as she points out just how ‘Lucky’ Beb certainly appeared to be!



JOSEPH GREER: What awareness by RSW’s senior official Shawna Savante!



Taking a moment to finally regain his bearings, Havok measures Beb, waiting for him to use the second rope to pull himself up.



JOSEPH GREER: Havok ready to strike, let’s see what he has in mind!



Connecting clean, Joe is sent down to the canvas once again with a drop kick as Havok draws a cheer from the crowd.



TOMMY ONIONS: Stop that shit! I in the match first!



Measuring ‘Lucky’ Joe once again, Havok can’t help himself and starts motioning for the crowd to stand up and cheer.



JOSEPH GREER: I hate to agree with you on…well anything, but you’re right Tommy, Havok needs to stop pandering to the fans at crucial moments.



Beb regains some of his senses, staggering to his feet, his legs are like over cooked spaghetti. Havok leaps to the top springboarding himself through the air…



JOSEPH GREER: What athleticism by Havok! Oh!



TOMMY ONIONS: Holy shit!



Flying through the air with a forearm smash, Havok took just a moment too long.



Displaying impressive athleticism in his own right, Beb uses Havok’s momentum to lands a huge spine buster that drives the air from Havok’s lungs!



JOSEPH GREER: What a counter by Joe Beb! If he covers him, he’s got it!



TOMMY ONIONS: I think if he gets on top of him Havok might get it!



JOSEPH GREER: All match huh?



TOMMY ONIONS: All match baby!



Rolling into the cover, the crowd cheers as Shawna drops to the mat…



…..One!



………….Two!!



………………….Thr……



Havok barely manages to kick out!



JOSEPH GREER: Oh! Another near fall in this match! Each man has been moments away from victory!



TOMMY ONIONS: Of you ask me Joe Beb already won Joey. You ever run with a boner Joey? Not an easy thing to do…let alone wrestle an entire match with one. As far as I’m concerned Joe Beb is a future star…but not too far in the future because he’s gonna die of old age soon.



JOSEPH GREER: Thanks for that insightful look at Joe Beb…back in the ring, both men are struggling to get to their feet now!



Standing center ring both men draw a huge cheer as they start swinging.



JOSEPH GREER: This has devolved into a good ol’ fashioned brawl!



CROWD: RSW! RSW! RSW!



TOMMY ONIONS: This match has had it all! Action! Near falls! AND a twenty minute erection!



JOSEPH GREER: Wait you think twenty minutes is…



TOMMY ONIONS: Ironman time Joey! Much respect to Beb here! He’s obviously got stamina for days!



The crowd cheers rise and rise as each man refuses to back down, Beb from determination and Havok for fear of exposing his rear to Beb once again!



JOSEPH GREER: This is insane! Both men giving their all! How either is standing right now I’ll never know!



CROWD: YES! YES!! YES!!!



As each man attempts to decapitate the other, finally Havok lands consecutive shots staggering ‘Lucky’ Joe…right into Shawna!



Joe stumbles at Shawna, who has to deal with the tent pitched ninety plus year old for the first time.



Turning in embarrassment, Havok takes advantage of an opportunity…



CROWD: *groaning OH!!!!!!!



JOSEPH GREER: What a kick to the…



TOMMY ONIONS: Dick! Joey, he literally just kicked him in the dick!



Shawna turns backs to see Beb set up in a power bomb position.



JOSEPH GREER: Not like this! Shawna turned away half out of embarrassment and half out of disgust and didn’t see the low blow! Fall of Havok!



……………1



………………………..2



…………………………………..3!!!



DING! DING!! DING!!!



JOSEPH GREER: What a match Tommy! But I can’t agree with how Havok got the win here!



TOMMY ONIONS: I finally have something good to say about Havok! He got the job done! He did what he had to and finally snapped the streak he’s been on since AnarChristmas! Eddie Havok your winner! Finally!



Shawna raises Havok’s hand as Slipknot’s “psychosocial” plays once again and the fans show their respect for a hard fought and nefarious win.



JOSEPH GREER: Regardless, you have a point, this on goes down as a win for Havok, but what can you say about the debut of ‘Lucky’ Joe Beb?



TOMMY ONIONS: I told you earlier…Joe Beb is going balls out to get as much money as he can before time catches up with him! This guy is going to be a star Greer, just you watch! He was one dick kick away from putting down a down on his luck Havok. But Havok still recently challenged for the World Heavyweight Championship, So Joe Beb showed testicular fortitude here in defeat!



Havok backs himself into the corner, dropping to the outside as Bob Mooney makes it official.



BOB MOONEY: Ladies and gentlemen…your winner…Havok!!!!



JOSEPH GREER: I…I couldn’t have said it better myself. Havok with the win but nonetheless an impressive debut by ‘Lucky’ Joe Beb! We’ll be back with more great Riot Star Wrestling action right after this!

[vastrix]

The screen fills with static, the rolling picture of a poor recording that clears up into a black & white image of a wrestling ring – bird’s eye view from high up above. The seats surrounding it are starting to fill up, the ambient noise muted from so high up. A voice-over plays over the footage, soft-spoken and calm with a lazy drawl that’s instantly familiar.



LEX COLLINS: It’s been a decade since I made the leap to the big leagues – usedta get paid to throw bricks in Vegas, these bullshit unsanctioned fights. Used to enjoy the payday more’n the taste of blood in my mouth but I guess that’s true for anyone. No real revelation there. Me an’ Andi, we got a lot in common, even if she doesn’t wanna do much more’n gloss over it. People have these perceptions of what we are, what we’re about. Disgraced gymnast. Deadbeat philanderer. Loser. Joke without a good punchline. Which one applies to you? Which label do I get to stick on my chest today? Hello, my name is FAILURE.



The camera pulls back, revealing a man perched on the catwalk, mostly hidden in shadows as he finishes taping his hands the way a boxer would.



LEX COLLINS: Andi Snow, your reputation precedes you. You might be new to this whole shebang, the song an’ dance… the five-knuckle shuffle I’m so damned famous for, but you already got that part right. Don’t matter what they say as long as they’re talking about you. You might’ve gone from balance beams with rehearsed routines, but there’s still a common thread ‘tween us. We both have something we need to set right. This little score to settle with ourselves. See, I gotta prove to myself that the bullshit in that other company hasn’t become my definition. I gotta prove I can still do this, can still hang with the fresh faces when I’m gettin’ kinda long in the tooth for this kinda shit.



His eyes are downcast, laser-like focus on the ring as if he’s committing the dimensions to memory.



LEX COLLINS: That ring down there – ones like it – have been home to me for the last six years straight. Longest rest break I took in the last ten years was four months last year. January to May – don’t seem like much, does it? But when your survival song’s been written on the streets, in the locker rooms where the sweat an’ the tears an’ the nervous sickness happens, it’s a goddamned eternity. I’m not a hero, not by any stretch – paid my dues though, livin’ hand-to-mouth, fightin’ for my supper in the worst sorta dives you could ever imagine. That’s where I learned how to survive. That’s where I garnered a bit of a followin’, a few fans here an’ there. No eyes of the tiger here, though. I’m not some hunter or nothin’. I’m just a scrapper, just a guy who knows what’s what inside these ropes down there. A guy who learned everything he needed to know about life from bein’ tossed to the wolves. Sure, I don’t got a whole trophy case filled with belts an’ the like, but that don’t mean I’m some poser. That don’t mean I’m some fresh-as-a-daisy rookie. Nah, y’know, done my time.



He smooths out the tape, pulling on fight gloves that say FEAR and THIS respectively across the knuckles before lifting those hands to lower the hood that shades his face. Brown eyes bracketed by dark circles are revealed, a flash of a grim smile before he looks back down.



LEX COLLINS: Someone told me I do this wrong, that I gotta spend all my time shittin’ on my opponent, buildin’ myself up. Tear down. It’s their job to sell themselves. That’s shit, y’know? If you earned it, I’ll sing your praises. Sing my own though? Now why the fuck would I wanna do that? You get up on that pedestal willingly, you’re just inviting the fall. You’re right, Andi. I got more to lose in this. You already got a footing here. I’m the unknown. The wild card. Could go anywhere from here. You wanna play that game, go ahead. Tear me down if you need to. Made a livin’ overcoming the odds an’ you gotta learn the truth sometime. This ain’t about candy sprinkles, rainbows an’ hair pulling. Nah. See, wrestling ain’t for the faint of heart; it’s for the roughnecks. It’s for the broken bone an’ cauliflower ear club. It’s for the warriors, the stalwart, the strong. It’s for the guys like me who know how much falls hurt an’ still gets back up, beggin’ for more. That won’t ever change. Hit me until you can’t swing anymore. I want that. I need that. An’ when you’re gassed, I’ll get back up… rise from the ashes to put you down. This is gonna be the toughest match you ever have, Andi. Bar none an’ not just ’cause I’m twice your size. You never fought someone like me. Someone who’s lost it all a million times. In this ring, tonight, I’m nobody. I’m nothing…everything… anything. Future remains unwritten until the first strike happens.



He tightens the laces on his boots, slowly and methodically, one after the other.



LEX COLLINS: Maybe my days of glory’re already over. Maybe I’m not the same guy I usedta be – maybe I shoulda just retired after Olympus went under an’ saved myself all the headaches since. Doesn’t matter now. I’m here to fight. I’m here to compete an’ this’ what I love – what I do. I’m comin’ for ya, Andi. Comin’ the only way I know how…



He turns, eyes locking on the camera as he presses his right fist over his heart, lips finally moving to form that final word as he speaks it aloud with conviction.



LEX COLLINS: …FEARLESSLY.

[vastrix]

BOB MOONEY: This next match is scheduled for one fall! Featuring first the challenger… Hunter Valentyne!



“Judas” by Fozzy begins playing as Hunter Valentyne walks out from the back to the boos of the fans. He waves the fans off, making his way down to the ring.



JOSEPH GREER: How many comebacks does this make for Hunter?



TOMMY ONIONS: Who cares! He’s here to do what he always wants to do.



JOSEPH GREER: What’s that?



TOMMY ONIONS: Teach the RSW roster how much they suck!



BOB MOONEY: And his opponent…Marcus Anderson!



“Loser Like Me” by Pink begins playing, introducing Marcus Anderson as he walks out onto the ring stage to the cheering from the fans. He waves to a few of the fans before making his way down to the ring. He has a microphone in hand as he looks across the ring at Hunter.



JOSEPH GREER: Why does Marcus have a microphone?



TOMMY ONIONS: He wants to talk some smack before the match?



JOSEPH GREER: You would have thought that he would have learned his lesson at the Luna club.



MARCUS ANDERSON: Yo momma so fat that they had to cut her into slabs for the cremation!



Hunter blinks at the weak sauce being brought to the table.



MARCUS ANDERSON: Did it feel good when other people propped you up to become World champion?



Hunter just shakes his head, popping his knuckles as the bell rings to start the match.



HUNTER VALENTYNE: Give my regards to your daddy for me.



Marcus blinks as Hunter starts walking across the ring toward him.



MARCUS ANDERSON: Can we talk about this?



Hunter seizes the microphone from Marcus’ hand to bring it up to his mouth.



HUNTER VALENTYNE: No.



Hunter tosses the microphone from the ring and aims a punch. Marcus catches the arm turns it into an armbar. He quickly breaks the hold by pulling Hunter into a hip toss that sends him to the mat. Hunter rolls through the move to get back to his feet. He spins around, catching Marcus in the side of the head with a spinning back elbow strike.



Marcus staggers back a step from the move, giving Hunter the chance to lunge in to strike a cauliflower ear and then a hard right hand that nearly sends Marcus to the mat. Hunter hits a suplex, rolling away from the downed Marcus, and dusting off his arms like he’s already won the match.



TOMMY ONIONS: See? Clear domination by the vet over the rookie.



JOSEPH GREER: Marcus has the raw talent to be able to win this match. Don’t count him out yet.

Hunter grabs Marcus as he stands up, whipping him into the ropes. He hits a big boot on the rebound, sending Marcus back to the mat.



A few well placed stomps sends Marcus rolling from the ring. Though he gets no respite as Hunter follows him outside, picks him up, and slams him onto the floor.



TOMMY ONIONS: Hunter no letting up on his offense for his first match back.



JOSEPH GREER: That would certainly make sense.



Inside the ring, the ref begins counting both men out.



One



Hunter picks Marcus up, but is hot shotted against the ring apron!



Two



Three



Marcus stands up to be met by Hunter, who wipes blood from his mouth with a smile.



Four



A kick to the gut doubles Marcus over, setting him up perfectly for the ddt to the mat.



Five



Six



Hunter rolls into the ring to break the count and then rolls back out. He grabs Marcus up and flings the rookie against the ring steps, demolishing them.



TOMMY ONIONS: Marcus just being taken apart here. I love it! I never did like his daddy!



JOSEPH GREER: Hunter certainly being dominating in his first match back.



Hunter moves to pick Marcus up, but is pulled down to be smashed against the steps in a second hot shot! Inside the ring, the ref begins to count again.



One



Two



Marcus rolls into the ring, laying on his back and panting.



Hunter stands up, feeling blood on the side of his face from a cut at the temple. He shouts in anger, grabbing the smallest part of the ring steps and flinging it into the ring! He rolls in after ward, the ref coming to yell at him for his actions.



Marcus stands up during this time, but Hunter is quick on the offensive to get the double underhook on Marcus, who lifts Hunter up, and drops down to smash Hunter on the top of his head!



TOMMY ONIONS: That’s uh…it’s a kind of driver I guess. He goes head first into the mat!



JOSEPH GREER: Brilliant deducting.



Anderson goes for the pinfall, hooking a leg.



One



Two



Thre-Hunter kicks out!



Marcus kneels up, going for the pinfall again.



One



Tw-Hunter kicks out.



Marcus kneels up, this time looking to the referee with a “What now?” kind of look.



TOMMY ONIONS: Is Marcus looking to the ref for advice on what to do next? How green could you get?



JOSEPH GREER: That’s an odd way to go.



Marcus looks to be going for the pinfall again when Hunter punches him in the throat. Marcus falls backward to the mat as Hunter rises to his feet. He spits on the mat with a wicked grin before grabbing Marcus and-



JOSEPH GREER: The Valentyme! This could be all over!



TOMMY ONIONS: I knew that this was going to happen in the end.



Hunter goes for the pinfall…



One



Two



Three!



BOB MOONEY: Winner of the match via pinfall…Hunter Valentyne!



Hunter stands up with his arms in the air to celebrate his win. Marcus rolls out of the rng, landing onto the floor with a thud.



TOMMY ONIONS: Clumsy much?



JOSEPH GREER: I heard that he’s spent years in training, but that doesn’t translate into actual experience.



Hunter rolls out of the ring and starts to walk up the entrance ramp.



JOSEPH GREER: Well, I hope he is happy with himself, after that return match



TOMMY ONIONS: It would appear that he is pretty much the same Hunter that we have known for years



Unknown to him, Havok jumps the guardrail from the crowd and connects with a flying clothesline taking down the surprised Valentyne.



TOMMY ONIONS: What is he doing back out!



JOSEPH GREER: Well, it looks like he is after some payback



TOMMY ONIONS: Someone needs to get the security out here!



As Hunter manages to get to his knees, still dazed from the sneak attack. Havok starts to pound lefts and right to his head.



JOSEPH GREER: Damn it looks like Hunter has managed to piss Havok off



TOMMY ONIONS: To be fair, this little punk is normally pissed off when he comes out here.



JOSEPH GREER: Ok smart ass, more than normal then!



Hunter manages to start to throw some punches back as he starts to get to a standing position.



TOMMY ONIONS: Looks like the Valentyne is managing to fight back



Havok connects with a headbutt before planting Hunter with a thunderous DDT on to the entrance ramp.



JOSEPH GREER: Looks like the Future, just cut him dead with that one



TOMMY ONIONS: The Future of what!



As Hunter starts to push himself up on to his knees, Havok connects with a stiff kick to the head.



HAVOK: Easy target. Think again, old man. I am not intimidated by you, or your so-called legacy. Remember, you set this into motion!



Havok heads to back, ignoring the crowd’s reaction.

[vastrix]

Backstage, Joe Beb is seen walking out of a restroom. His typical bulge in the front of his pants is gone. He begins to walk down the hallway when he sees Armand von Krauss standing nearby.



JOE BEB: Great match. Right, boss?



Armand von Krauss shakes his head, regarding Joe with an amused smile.



ARMAND VON KRAUSS: Why do we have you here at all, Uralte? You didn’t win your match. I don’t know that you can even defeat a woman!



Joe Beb stands and looks flustered. He sputters for a moment before finding himself the ability to respond.



JOE BEB: What the heck are you talking about, Kaiser? I could defeat any woman that I lay eyes upon! In fact, I’ll defeat the very next woman that I see!



Armand nods, lighting himself an Egyptian cigarette.



ARMAND VON KRAUSS: Your first opportunity is on the way.



Elizabeth O’Rourke is storming down the hallway toward Armand.



ELIZABETH O’ROURKE: You threatened to have me fired? How dare you! What the fuck, old man?



Joe stands in between Apathy and Armand, trying to look fierce.



JOE BEB: Look here, young lady. I’mma about to kick your ass to teach you a lesson in respect!



Elizabeth is about to launch into another tirade upon Armand when she looks askance at Joe.



ELIZABETH O’ROURKE: What the fuck are you talking about, you old fucker?



Joe decks Elizabeth, but the blow does little more than to turn her head. She flits out her tongue to clear up the little bit of blood that escapes her upper lip.



ELIZABETH O’ROURKE: Fuck it.



She grabs Joe by the shoulders, slams him into the wall. She goes in with a series of knee lifts to the gut and the crotch.



Once Apathy releases Joe, he slides down the wall, and curls into a fetal position.



JOE BEB: Kill me now…



Elizabeth squats down to the floor to be able to reach Joe and pinch him by the saggy cheek with a sweet smile.



ELIZABETH O’ROURKE: Not yet. I’ll see you again in Lagos in the ring. Our friend, Armand, will set it all up for threatening to have me fired. Won’t he?



Elizabeth stands up to glare at Armand, who blows a plume of smoke into the air.



ARMAND VON KRAUSS: I don’t see why not. You can have the old man next Anarchy.



ELIZABETH O’ROURKE: Good.



She reaches down to pat the barely there Job Beb on the cheek.



ELIZABETH O’ROURKE: Guess we’ll be seeing each other next week, droopy balls. Get your fuckin’ affairs in order so I can put you out of my misery.



Elizabeth walks away, leaving Joe on the ground. Armand flicks ashes onto the prone form of Joe.



ARMAND VON KRAUSS: Guess it’ll be time for you to, how do you Americans put it? Put up or shut up. If I were you, Uralte, I would make funeral arrangements now.

[vastrix]

BOB MOONEY: This next match is scheduled for one fall! Featuring first the challenger…Andi Snow!



“No Tears Left to Cry” by Ariana Grande begins playing as Andi Snow walks out from the back to the cheering of the fans. She smiles and waves at the fans before heading down to the ring.



TOMMY ONIONS: I wonder if she’ll lose her top in this match?



JOSEPH GREER: Shouldn’t you be wondering if she’ll win the match or not?



TOMMY ONIONS: I don’t care if she wins or not. I want her to lose her top!



BOB MOONEY: And her opponent…Lex Collins!



“Re-education (through labor)” by Rise Against begins playing as Lex Collins comes out from the back to stand on the entrance stage. He’s cheered by the many fans who recognize him as he makes his way down to the ring.



TOMMY ONIONS: I am pumped that we finally scored Lex Collins! He was legendary in Olympus!



JOSEPH GREER: Isn’t that the wrestling company that Armand used to own twenty percent of?



TOMMY ONIONS: It came under new ownership and Armand sold out his shares to the new owner. The company never had a show though under new management. The useless bitch.



JOSEPH GREER: I think the Kostas fought the show going on every step of the way.



In the ring, Andi Snow watches Lex Collins stretch before the match with a small smile. She shakes her head, getting focused on the match at hand.



JOSEPH GREER: Does Andi seem interested in Lex?



TOMMY ONIONS: Why not? He is a wrestling god, after all. And she is kind of a whore. I bet she would give him a Beverly Hills Hello!



JOSEPH GREER: What is a. You know what? I don’t want to know.



TOMMY ONIONS: She wakes him up after partying all night with a blow job.



JOSEPH GREER: La la la! I’m not listening!



The bell rings to start the match, Andi dodges a few punches, and gets in a quick elbow strike in response. Lex responses by grabbing Andi by both shoulders and hitting a headbutt that staggers Andi back a few steps. He begins to advance, but catches a backflip dropkick to the jaw instead.



Lex recovers quickly, launching himself at Andi to hit the knee to the gut to double her over. This is quickly followed by a gutwrench bodyslam with a quick pinfall.



One



Two



Thr-Andi kicks out!



Lex stands up, waits for Andi to stand, and goes for a standing drop kick. Andi bridges backwards to avoid the kick. Lex kippups, taking a superkick to the jaw once he hits his feet! Lex rolls away to the side of the ring to put some distance between him and her.



TOMMY ONIONS: Lew finding out that Andi can kick some butt!



JOSEPH GREER: You mean Lex?



TOMMY ONIONS: I mean Lex, yeah. What did I say?



JOSEPH GREER: You said Lew.



Andi crosses the ring to grab Lex, sends him across the ring into the corner with an irish whip. She follows up to hit an avalanche frankensteiner, but Lex catches her. He hits a massive power bomb, releasing Andi onto the mat. Lex pops up to the middle turnbuckle, waits for Andi to rise, and hits a moonsault bodyblock that takes Andi down! He goes for the cover.



One



Two



Thr-Andi kicks out!



Lex kneels up, getting to his feet. He pulls Andi up and whips her into the ropes. On the rebound he goes for the backdrop, but Andi hits a Sunset flip for the cover!



One



Two



Thr-Lex kicks out!



Andi jumps to her feet, backing away from Lex to give him his space to rise up. She comes back in hot, hitting a handspring back elbow, and knocking Lex back to the mat. She follows this up with a standing moonsault!



TOMMY ONIONS: Andi Snow on a roll! She should take off her top for old time’s sake!



JOSEPH GREER: I don’t think that hoping for that is appropriate.



TOMMY ONIONS: Toss off, ya wanker! I wish for what I want!



JOSEPH GREER: Toss off?



Andi rolls to her feet, waiting for Lex to get back up. She runs in for the sitout facebuster, but catches a spear from Lex instead. He lifts her up and runs across the ring with her until he slams her into the corner. He pulls her out of the corner, going for an armdrag, but Andi rolls through it back to her feet. She comes back at Lex, taking control of his arm, and locking on a chicken wing!



TOMMY ONIONS: Oooooooh! Andi knows a real wrestling move!



JOSEPH GREER: She knows a lot of wrestling moves. You just don’t know enough to name them all.



TOMMY ONIONS: …she has nice boobs.



Andi doesn’t hold the move long, transitioning to a side headlock, and then hitting a headlock driver! Andi hooks a leg quickly for the cover!



One



Two



Thr-Lex kicks out!



TOMMY ONIONS: Lew certainly has a lot of endurance.



JOSEPH GREER: Quit calling him Lew! His name is Lex!



Andi jumps up to the top rope and hits a 450 Splash! She hooks the leg again for the cover!



One



Tw-Lex kicks out!



Andi kneels up, starting to look frustrated at Lex not staying down. She looks down at him, catching a laying uppercut to the nose that sends out a burst of blood! She somersaults backwards to a corner, clutching at her bleeding nose in pain. Lex stands up, looking worse for wear.



JOSEPH GREER: That was a hard right hand! I think Lex calls that a Brick!



TOMMY ONIONS: It doesn’t take away from Andi’s appeal. The blood loss might add to it a little bit.



Lex grabs the stunned Andi and whips her toward the other corner while following close behind. Andi jumps at the corner as Lex is hot on her heels and hits a springboard tornado ddt!



JOSEPH GREER: Andi Snow with the Snow Storm! This could be all over, folks!



TOMMY ONIONS: Crazy she could see through the tears in her eyes to be able to hit her finisher!



Andi goes for the cover with an elbow across Lex’s jaw to turn his head.



One



Two



Three!



Andi jumps up into the air, celebrating her win!



JOSEPH GREER: I don’t know how she managed to pull it off, but she did!



TOMMY ONIONS: Lew is pissed!



Lex sits up, slapping the mat in anger.



JOSEPH GREER: Damn , Tommy! Figure out how to say Lex!

[vastrix]

JOSEPH GREER: Welcome back to what has been another in a long line of exciting nights of RSW action.



TOMMY ONIONS: You’re not even trying anymore are you Greer? Get off the fans’ dick!



JOSEPH GREER: We’ve had a crazy night! Action, suspense, drama, Riot Star Wrestling has it all!



TOMMY ONIONS: Speaking of drama we have Alyssa interviewing her fiancé ‘D’.



JOSEPH GREER: I don’t know what you’re talking about Tommy. It was only a matter of time before ‘D’ suffered a career shortening injury or submitted himself. Alyssa just made the decision for him, saving him from himself so to speak.



TOMMY ONIONS: See Greer that shit right there is why your ex wife takes a train of BBC every weekend. She made the choice for him, no one wants their choices made for them but you Greer!



Tension is in the air as the cameras shift backstage and the Anarchy Thirty Nine backdrop dominates center screen.



ALYSSA LUCCHI: Welcome back to Anarchy, I’m here backstage with the former Anarchy Champion and the referee for tonight’s, up in the air, main event, ‘D’.



Panning back, Alyssa has her fiancée sat to her left. The ending of his submission match with Rob Riot had placed a wedge between them.



She hated this awkwardness between them, but it was part of the game. When they had decided to try to make things between them work, each had known there would be challenges.



ALYSSA LUCCHI: Welcome. Let’s start with the question on everyone’s mind regarding tonight. What can you tell us about tonight’s main event?



‘D’: Not much unfortunately, Von Krauss isn’t exactly forthcoming when it comes to details. All I know for sure is that Dagvald Riddick will have a match for the RSW Legacy Championship later tonight and when that happens I’ll ref it…that’s all I know at this point.



ALYSSA LUCCHI: So does that mean we can rule you out as a replacement opponent for Riddick?



Alyssa knew better than anyone that following his match with Riot, he was in no shape to compete, especially with an impressive RSW newcomer like Dagvald Riddick.



The ‘neo-Nordic’ had immediately made an impact, capturing the Anarchy Championship in only his second match.



‘D’: *chuckling* I can safely say that if I’m expected to compete tonight, then even I don’t know about it.



ALYSSA LUCCHI: Speaking of competing, the man who defeated you for the RSW Anarchy Championship isn’t on the card tonight, your thoughts on that?



She’d struck a nerve, and knew she would with that question. He sat staring at her, through her might be more accurate.



Left to his own devices, Riot would have had to have crippled him to pry the title from his grasp. Surely he understood why she did it, why she saved him from himself.



‘D’: We’re in an age of part time champions Alyssa, so I’m not surprised. Dylan Erickson, Riot…neither of them intend to keep a pace that puts them in front of the fans defending their right to be champion. That’s why Dylan lost to Shane at Night of Champions and that’s also why I won’t be asking for a rematch despite being the man to put the Anarchy Championship on the map. I have nothing to prove with the Anarchy title, I defended it during my reign more than RSW’s other three championships combined, it’s Rob’s turn to take the championship and do something with it. Me? I’ll just move on to the next challenge, whatever that may be.



Sensing that he didn’t want to dwell on the subject of titles or rankings, she’d try a different angle.



ALYSSA LUCCHI: With the XHF Network event Night of Champions producing a new RSW World Heavyweight Champion in Shane Mitchell, is that one of the new challenges you could be considering?



‘D’: Shane Mitchell is a phenomenal wrestler, if not a human being; but ultimately I don’t know Ms. Lucchi. I’ll do as I always have I suppose. I’ll go out there each and every match and give my all to be considered the best in the eyes of the fans. It’s their opinion that matters, not Von Krauss’ or Riot’s or even yours. Belts don’t matter, accolades merely blend together at a certain point in your career distracting you from what’s truly important.



Looking into her eyes, she could understand his silence leading up to this interview. He’d done it all at one point or another, LCW, Genesis, PWA he’d climbed the mountain on three separate occasions in three separate companies but after his recent declaration that he didn’t need to win the RSW World Heavyweight Championship, she wondered what would be next for both of them. It seemed even he didn’t quite have the answer.



ALYSSA LUCCHI: And that would be?



Half expecting an answer, half expecting him to end their relationship right then and there live in front of the world, Alyssa asked meekly afraid her feelings were correct.



‘D’: Legacy. I’ve been around longer than most everyone at this point. The reality is I won’t keep going forever, at some point I have to accept that I’m going to walk away. One day I too will leave this all behind and seek out the next adventure. I’m not saying that it’s soon, I’m just entering a retrospective portion of my career. A time where I can look back at the past over ten years, millions of miles and memories and begin to fill in the gaps. Cement my legacy, answer a few questions that still remain before I consider hanging up my boots and walking back into the shadows one last time.



There it was, the honesty and self evaluation that had defined him all these years. His future was uncertain but, for the time being, there were still things left to do.



She was processing his every movement, analyzing his tone. She couldn’t tell if he knew about her meeting with Rob before the match. After all they’d been through she still couldn’t tell if he blamed her for his loss or if he simply was at the door that lead to the final chapter of his long career.



ALYSSA LUCCHI: I might be speaking for the fans here, but we certainly hope you aren’t walking away any time soon.



She wanted this to be over, if any other wrestler sat next to her she would have pounced on the hints at retirement, but not him. They’d been through too much. Things were just getting good between them and now this, she feared the end was nigh.



ALYSSA LUCCHI: Unfortunately we’re out of time but stayed tuned to Anarchy Thirty Nine, we have tons more action left including Akeed ibn Umar al-Hayba vs former RSW Legacy Champion, Isaiah Zepp!



Wrapping it up, Alyssa doesn’t even wait for the camera to shift as she gets up and quickly walks off the set.



JOSEPH GREER: That was Alyssa Lucchi with an interview with former Anarchy Champion ‘D’.



TOMMY ONIONS: So, you think ‘Lyss is single? Maybe she’d like a little onion sauce to help her move on.



JOSEPH GREER: I’d say that things are as complicated as they’ve always been when those two are involved Tommy. Though Alyssa was right, we still have plenty of action left here tonight, stayed tuned we’ll be right back!

[vastrix]

Backstage at the office of Armand von Krauss. He looks up as there is the sound of a light knocking on the door.



ARMAND VON KRAUSS: Enter.



The door opens and Cherry Merciless enters the room in a green dress that has a plunging neckline.



CHERRY MERCILESS: You wanted to see me, sir?



Armand nods, opening a box cigarette case to get out one of his Egyptian cigarettes out. He lights it while Cherry takes her seat. She wiggles in her seat to “get comfortable” , but actually spilling out even more cleavage to the point of nearly taking the dress down. Armand doesn’t seem to take much notice, his eyes flitting from her to a picture of Esmeralda von Krauss that’s on his desk.



ARMAND VON KRAUSS: I’m going to be as diplomatic as I can. You’re fired.



Cherry sits with her jaw hanging open.



CHERRY MERCILESS: You can’t be serious! Is it the name? I changed my name once before, I can do it again!



ARMAND VON KRAUSS: You’re in charge of a rich and powerful porn company. Go be in charge of that instead of being a pain in my posterior.



CHERRY MERCILESS: But…but…I like it here! Give me another chance!



Cherry reaches over to pull down the picture of Esmeralda so she can’t see her pull down the top of her dress totally. She gets a sly look on her face.



CHERRY MERCILESS: We can come to some kind of understanding, yes?



Armand just rolls his eyes, blowing smoke into the air.



ARMAND VON KRAUSS: Geh mir aus den Augen, du dumme kleine Schlampe.



Cherry blinks for a moment before deciding that she’s going to be angry.



CHERRY MERCILESS: I don’t understand German, you stupid Kraut!



Armand just sighs, ashing into an ornate ashtray that looks like Krampus holding a large sac with a child in it. He flicks ashes into the open sack.



ARMAND VON KRAUSS: Let me put this in a way that you can understand.



Armand presses a button on the phone.



ARMAND VON KRAUSS: Hank? As we previously discussed.



The door opens with two security guards entering the room. Cherry just stands up with a growl, letting the dress fall to the ground.



CHERRY MERCILESS: Lay one hand on me and I will sue!



ARMAND VON KRAUSS: Collect your dress and try to leave with a little bit of dignity.



Cherry grabs her dress, but just flings it over her shoulder as she stands in the nude.



CHERRY MERCILESS: Fuck that. I’m a Merciless!



Cherry walks out of the office with the security guards at her back. Armand just shakes his head.



ARMAND VON KRAUSS: Good riddance to the last remaining influence of the Merciless name. Dumme kleine Schlampe.

[vastrix]

BOB MOONEY: And first to the ring, Isaiah Zepp!!



A short guitar screech leads to the thrashing of At the Drive-In’s “Governed by Contagions”. A blinding white light shines chaotically around the arena as Isaiah Zepp steps foot onto the entrance stage. A scattering of fans in the crowd shine their cell phone lights back to him as he walks down the aisle. Isaiah climbs into the ring and removes his black hooded sweatshirt before throwing a fist in the air. Taking one last look at it he hands it to the referee before turning towards the entrance.



JOSEPH GREER: He looks focused.



TOMMY ONIONS: He has a lot to prove tonight.



BOB MOONEY: Hailing from Mogadishu, Somalia; on his way to the ring, being accompanied by other members of the Arab Nation, it is Akeed ibn Umar al-Hayba!



Cameras pan around the sea of anxious people who are cheering loudly at the showing of respect towards Riot Star Wrestling. Suddenly, the cheering ceases as the loudspeakers crackle, all attention devoted to these very special proceedings. A large American Flag unfolds from the rafters and hangs majestically over the ring area, each ear expecting to hear the immortal “Star Spangled Banner”.



The big screen started to show all sorts of American iconic sites. Children playing in the streets, baseball matches, troops in the Middle East. Those images dissolve into footage of various terrorist attacks from around the world including 9-11 until, finally, the Iraqi flag with two scimitars underneath filled the screen. This soon gives way to a hooded figure. The scene pulls back to fill the whole screen with this figure having sprawled at his feet American soldiers.



As “Call to Pray” by Seether began to blare loudly through the arena, it was eerily evident that this wouldn’t be a time for celebration. Outraged and appalled, the almost speechless fans erupted in boos all at once.



TOMMY ONIONS: Boooooo!!!



The fans began booing nearly to the point of an inverted standing ovation. The noise from the fans was deafening with the ferocity of the boos. The roving arm of the cameras picked out people in the crowd. As they realized there on the screen they held the signs higher. Ice Blue strobes cut around the arena as blue smoke billows from underneath the grating on the ramp way. The curtain at the top of the ramp way parts and they emerge.



Standing there is Akeed ibn Umar al-Hayba in his wrestling garb. To his left stood Abdul bin Hussain also dressed in traditional Arab clothes. Behind them is stood Abdul’s sister Nazirah. Nazirah is dressed in the traditional Burqa. They look about themselves at the crowds who are booing really loudly.



TOMMY ONIONS: This is actually surprising as these guys have been cheered thus far in RSW.



JOSEPH GREER: Well not last show in South Africa.



TOMMY ONIONS: Well they did disrespect President Trump.



JOSEPH GREER: Plus with what he’s wearing, he looks really tough.



TOMMY ONIONS: He ain’t Batman.



Slowly Abdul walks down the ramp way, taking in the boos with a look of amusement on his face. He is actually shown laughing. He reaches the ringside and climbs the stairs; Akeed and Nazirah enter the ring.



TOMMY ONIONS: Booooo!!



JOSEPH GREER: I hate them too.



TOMMY ONIONS: What? You’re supposed to be the unbiased one of the two of us. What will people say?



JOSEPH GREER: Do I care?



Slowly he turns and looks at Zepp. Zepp charges in and swings for Akeed’s head. Akeed Irish Whips Zepp into the ropes, he then runs to the ropes on the other side of the ring and rebounds against them. As Zepp then turns and returns Akeed hits him with a devastating Clothesline.



JOSEPH GREER: He nearly took his head off!



TOMMY ONIONS: What?



JOSEPH GREER: That clothesline was brutal and stiff!



Akeed lifts Zepp up into an Argentine Backbreaker Rack across his shoulders. He pauses for a few seconds before throwing Zepp forward, and strikes the back of his head with his knee.



TOMMY ONIONS: That’s brutal too. This Somali monster is devastating.



JOSEPH GREER: He’s actually playing with the American.



Akeed rolls Zepp over and pins his shoulders to the mat.



…………………1



…………………2



……………….Akeed lifts up Zepp’s shoulders and shakes his head.



JOSEPH GREER: It’s not going to be that easy for Zepp is it?



TOMMY ONIONS: Is he going to punish him?



JOSEPH GREER: Oh wait, what is Abdul doing?



Abdul is shouting something at Akeed as his arms swing from side to side.



JOSEPH GREER: What is he saying?



Akeed stands over a face down Zepp, facing the same direction. He lifts Zepp up onto his shoulders in an electric chair sitting position and then takes hold of Zepp with one arm and pulls him over his shoulder and down to the mat while falling to a sit out position so that Zepp lands on his upper back and neck between his legs.



JOSEPH GREER: THE PRIDE OF ISLAM!



The referee rushes to the front of them and tries to check on Zepp who is actually unconscious.



JOSEPH GREER: He’s killed him!!!!!



TOMMY ONIONS: Referee call it!



The referee calls for the bell. Akeed locks in a rear naked choke and puts more pressure into the move. The screaming brings Zepp around but this stops as Zepp passes out. Akeed drops Zepp’s arms and stands up. He walks over Zepp’s prone body stepping on it in the process.



TOMMY ONIONS: He has given the former Legacy Champion no respect tonight.



JOSEPH GREER: He has come to show the world what a the Arab Nation is about!!



Akeed looks down Zepp as the referee raises his arm. Akeed drags Zepp out of the ring and carries him backstage as Abdul and Nazirah follow him.



TOMMY ONIONS: Where are they taking him?



JOSEPH GREER: They can’t abduct him, can’t they?



TOMMY ONIONS: You going to tell them?



Joseph goes to stand up but Tommy pulls him back down.



TOMMY ONIONS: Shut up, you are so annoying.

[vastrix]

JOSEPH GREER: We’re back and the time is now! We’re about to find out What replacement opponent Armand Von Krauss has lined up for the Neo-Nordic RSW Legacy Champion!



TOMMY ONIONS: This is garbage Joey! His opponent was fired, he wins…that simple!



Bloodhouse’s ‘In Horror’ belts out through sound system as a fair chorus of boos greet the reigning Legacy Champion.



JOSEPH GREER: We’ve talked about the relatively high influx of new talent to Riot Star Wrestling as of late Tommy and any new comer would want to follow the success of this man, The RSW Legacy Champion, Dagvald Riddick!



TOMMY ONIONS: Riddick did what anyone would have in his position, people say he ain’t paid his dues and shit, but fuck those haters, Dag took advantage of an opportunity and boom! Legacy Champion baby!



Dag makes his way to the ring with the confidence of a man who had already won. The relative newcomer in his own right had rocketed up the card by claiming the Legacy title in what some called an upset.



Taking that as motivation Dagvald walks as though anyone could step through the curtain and it wouldn’t matter.



JOSEPH GREER: He is the new Legacy Champion Tommy that much is not up for debate, his scheduled opponent is no longer with the company so now we get to see just how well Riddick deals with a less than enviable situation. He came into tonight expecting a certain opponent, now he could literally be facing anyone!



TOMMY ONIONS: So who do you think it is?



JOSEPH GREER: We’ve been so busy calling another crazy night of RSW action, I haven’t given it much thought, maybe ‘D’? He was supposed to be the referee here anyway, if his knee is good to go, that would certainly be interesting.



Stepping through the ropes Riddick holds the championship high above his head, soaking in the cheers and jeers like a fine wine. None of it settling on the Neo-Nordic warrior’s shoulders.



TOMMY ONIONS: I got…Mark Force! I want to see him set the microwave one last time damn it!



JOSEPH GREER: Tommy he has almost certainly career ending head injuries from year of taking unnecessary beatings in the ring.



TOMMY ONIONS: Ok fine…it’s been a while since we’ve seen Nocturnal…yeah I’ll go with Noc!



Handing the belt to Shawna, she does not hold the title up.



JOSEPH GREER: Did you see that Tommy! She didn’t hold the belt up.



TOMMY ONIONS: Yeah? So? Bitches be getting lazy, so what?



JOSEPH GREER: That means whatever this match is, it’s non title.



TOMMY ONIONS: I knew that Greer! Just making sure you do your job and tell the good people out in #onionsnation!



BOB MOONEY: By order of Armand Von Krauss this match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…standing in the ring…hailing from ‘The Compound’ and weighing in at two hundred and thirty five pounds, he is the RSW Legacy Champion…Dagvald Riddick!!!!



JOSEPH GREER: Here we go Tommy, who is it!?



TOMMY ONIONS: Fifty bucks on Noc!



BOB MOONEY: And his opponent…



“No Tears Left to Cry” by Ariana Grande begins playing as Andi Snow walks out from the back to the cheering of the fans for the second time tonight.



BOB MOONEY: …from Los Angeles, California…weighing in at one hundred and twenty seven pounds…Andi Snow!!!



Despite her hard fought win earlier, she smiles and waves at the fans before heading down to the ring.



TOMMY ONIONS: There they are! My favourite RSW stars!



JOSEPH GREER: The Snow twins are your favourite RSW stars?



TOMMY ONIONS: I meant Andi’s tits, shit Greer those puppies have had more screen time than her sister anyways!



Smiling as she slaps hands with fans, she rounds the ring to look up. At the much larger Legacy Champion.



JOSEPH GREER: I can’t argue that, but what I can do it give big round of applause to Andi Snow. She’s already competed here tonight and now has a huge opportunity to jump into the mix in a crowded and murky RSW Legacy Championship picture!



TOMMY ONIONS: if her shirt comes off again, just give her the belt and watch the money roll in! I’m a marketing genius and I’m telling you that dem titties is gonna make this company a lot of money Greer! In Andi’s tits we trust!



Andi makes her way to ring side, but doesn’t immediately enter the ring.



JOSEPH GREER: Andi looking a little hesitant to get in there Tommy.



TOMMY ONIONS: Yeah if I were her I’d see if I could ‘work something out’ and call it a night!



JOSEPH GREER: Wait Tommy…Bob hasn’t left the ring yet…



Before Joseph can finish his sentence, Bob’s voice silenced the announcer.



BOB MOONEY: And their opponent…from ‘The open road’…



The crowd cheers for the Olympus veteran as “Re-education (through labor)” by Rise Against begins playing and none other than Lex Collins comes out from the back to stand on the entrance stage.



BOB MOONEY: …weighing in at one hundred and ninety nine pounds…he is the Mind Killer…Lex Collins!



JOSEPH GREER: Bob Mooney going into the repertoire for Lex Collins as it looks like we get an immediate rematch of a very close contest from earlier tonight! Lex Collins with a chance at revenge and a future Legacy Championship match all in one night!



Collins’ earlier gritty performance had already won him some new fans as they cheer one of the newest additions to RSW!



TOMMY ONIONS: What a story Greer, Lew was a big deal in Olympus, but here some fans only saw a tiny piece of what this man is capable of earlier tonight. Sure Andi got one on him technically, but if he wins here…it doesn’t matter, he’s instantly in the title hunt…this was a pretty good idea by Von Krauss if I do say so myself.



JOSEPH GREER: Not this again! Lex Tommy, Lex not Lew.



Walking to the ring, Lex looks determined to redeem himself. Looking from Andi to Riddick, Lex looks ready.



DING! DING!! DING!!!



As soon as the bell rings both Andi and Lex go to dive into the ring…



JOSEPH GREER: Both diving into the ring! Wait Andi stopped short!



Stopping herself, Andi clearly thought her tactics through knowing her size disadvantage would once again come into play.



Riddick stomps away at the back of Lex as the smaller Collins fights his way up to his feet as the crowd starts to cheer.



JOSEPH GREER: We’re underway with this impromptu Main Event here at Anarchy Thirty Nine and we’re off to a wild start as Dagvald Riddick and Lex Collins are just throwing here Tommy!



Pulling a page from the Mike Tyson playbook, Lex keeps his guard high and begins backing up the larger Dag with a series of punches to the ribs and solar plexus.



JOSEPH GREER: Collins pushing the pace and covering up while delivering short shots to the body, Collins is backing the Champion up!



Against the ropes, Shawna has quickly realized she’s going to have a shaky hold on the rule book at best. Allowing Lex some latitude, Collins continues trying to take away the gas tank of Dag.



TOMMY ONIONS: This is what RSW needed Joey! These newer guys are fighting to get their name out there! Look at Dag and Lex!



Slumping back through the ropes, Riddick buys himself some time as he slips to the floor!



JOSEPH GREER: Let’s not forget Andi Snow!



Diving through the air, the former gymnastics stand out soars with the grace of a bird of prey…



BOTH: Holy shit!



JOSEPH GREER: Andi Snow knew she’d have to pick her spots and did she ever! Entering the match with a beautiful springboard flying bulldog to Lex Collins! The pin!



……One!



……………….Two!!



……………………………Thre…



At the last moment, Dagvald Riddick pulls Andi from the ring by her legs to slam her hard against the ring barricade.



JOSEPH GREER: Dag saving the match but what an exclamation point he point on dragging Andi Snow off that cover!



TOMMY ONIONS: He swung her like she was nothing Greer, I think she’s out!



Rolling into the ring, it’s Collins and Riddick once more as the Legacy Champion grabs Collins in a front face lock before snapping to the ground.



JOSEPH GREER: Snap neckbreaker from Riddick and the cover!



……………One!



……………………Two!!



Lex kicks out at two, drawing a frustrated right hand from Dag for his efforts.



JOSEPH GREER: Collins out at two and the Legacy Champion looks frustrated Tommy. Riddick is looking to put this one away early if he can!



Dragging Lex to his feet, Dag lifts up his opponent for a suplex.



JOSEPH GREER: Suplex…wait! Knee by Collins…he’s back on his feet!



Collins delivers a quick kick into the ribs of Dag, catching him off guard and giving him the space needed to rebound off the ropes.



TOMMY ONIONS: Where does Collins get the energy Greer?! I want some of whatever he’s on!



JOSEPH GREER: You know the answer to everything isn’t drugs, right Tommy? Lex Collins has heart on display here tonight against the Legacy Champion! Oh!



Turning into it to land at center ring, Lex send a stunned Dagvald stumbling back into the corner.



TOMMY ONIONS: Oh snap! Here comes Lex Collins!



Running, Lex leaps into the air seeming to suspend the laws of gravity delaying until the absolute last moment before snapping off a drop kick that rattles Riddick’s brain.



JOSEPH GREER: Lex Collins is on fire Tommy! What a corner drop kick!



Andi Snow rolls back into the ring, light footsteps see her get up behind Lex Collins, turning him into a stinging knife edge chop!



CROWD: WoooooooooOooooOoooooo!



JOSEPH GREER: Good to see Andi Snow back in the match after taking that throw into the guardrail earlier. Snow now looking to pick up the pace and get her high octane gymnastics based offense going!



TOMMY ONIONS: Translation? Me likey flippy shit!



Leaping to action, Snow snaps off a standing flying head scissor that sends Collins tumbling to the corner. Jumping in with a flying forearm, Andi Snow lays into her opponent with a series of kicks and forearm shots before reversing position and landing a thunderous chop of his own.



JOSEPH GREER: Head scissor by Andi sends Lex into the corner, here comes Andi! Big forearm shot! Lefts, rights, kicks she’s really mixing it up nicely folks! Lex just over powering The young miss Snow now….OH!!!!!



CROWD: WooooooOOooOooooooo!



TOMMY ONIONS: I envy that man! He just got to slap the shit out of Andi Snow’s tits, Lex Collins is my new hero…



Turning their attention collectively to a now charging Riddick, Andi and Lex propel the Legacy Champion high into the air, sending him over the top rope, narrowly missing the ring stairs only to crash to the floor mats covering the unforgiving concrete.



TOMMY ONIONS: Oh fuck! Dag! Is dead! It’s been months since we’ve had a death Joey… oh shit look at Dag. Wait…he’s moving his foot…he’s fine.



JOSEPH GREER: He’s fine?! He barely missed those steps! Dagvald Riddick just took a huge double back body drop to the ringside floor! We might need EMTs for the Champion!



CROWD: Holy shit! Holy shit!! Holy shit!!!



Both Collins and Snow look down at the barely moving Legacy Champion as the crowd roars with approval. Turning back to each other a fresh burst of cheers erupts as they begin to lay into each other once more!



JOSEPH GREER: What a match to close the show Tommy! We’ve got Lex Collins and Andi Snow giving Dagvald Riddick everything he can handle for a chance at Riddick’s Legacy Championship!



Lex begins taking the lead partying a short forearm by Andi and landing a knee to the stomach in response.



JOSEPH GREER: Andi Snow bent over with a knee to the midsection!



TOMMY ONIONS: Can we get a shot of that?



Drawing a cheer from the crowd, Lex powers up Andi from a power mob position to a Death Valley Driver!



JOSEPH GREER: What a transition! Death Valley Driver! The cover! He hooks the leg!



…………..One!



……………………Two!



……………………..Andi kicks out out of what seems to be little more than instinct. Clearly having her bell rung, Lex slaps on a rear chin lock to keep the former gymnast grounded.



BOTH: Oh!



JOSEPH GREER: Kickout by Andi Snow! What fortitude this young lady is showing here tonight Tommy!



TOMMY ONIONS: I don’t care if I see her fortitude, I want to see dem titties Greer!



JOSEPH GREER: Andi Snow has shown grit and determination here tonight Tommy and all you can talk about is…



TOMMY ONIONS: Wanting her shirt off! Yes! I’m not trying to hide it Greer! Fuck off already!



Trying her best to escape, Andi gets to a knee and begin slamming elbows deep into the ribs of Collins.



JOSEPH GREER: And as I say that here she goes again! Andi Snow digging down and looking to break the hold!



Slamming a third, fourth and fifth elbow into Lex’s ribs gets Andi back to a vertical base only to be thrown to the corner with relative ease by the some seventy pounds heavier Collins.



JOSEPH GREER: Oh! Lex Collins with a Biel throw! Andi Snow’s dazed in the corner!



TOMMY ONIONS: Tear your shirt off in anger Andi! It could be your new gimmick! No one has ever done anything like it before! It’s genius!



JOSEPH GREER: Ummm…Hulk Hogan.



TOMMY ONIONS: Ummmm…who? Did he have tits like Andi?



JOSEPH GREER: No…bigger…



TOMMY ONIONS: Wow…*drools*



Lex rushes into a glancing boot from Andi that stumbles him back slightly. Rolling through, Andi uses her flexibility to snatch an ankle pick as she does, dragging Collins to the mat as she rolls to the apron!



JOSEPH GREER: Andi Snow with an amazing display for the counter takedown…she’s set for the Snowstorm! She hits this and it’s over! She’ll have beaten Lex Collins for the second time tonight and gained herself a Legacy title match in the process!



Andi soars through the air once again with a grace that even the greatest high flyers might never know!



Lex reacts in an instant leaping into the air in his own right. Ticking both knees into the chest of Andi Snow, Lex grips the back of her head!



JOSEPH GREER: Codebreaker counter to a diving Andi Snow! This crowd is loving it! Lex Collins and Andi Snow are putting it all on the line tonight!



Crawling across the mat through the cheers of the RSW faithful, Lex drape am arm over Andi’s (remarkably still covered) chest!



………….One!



…………………….Two!!



……………………………….Thre…



JOSEPH GREER: Saving his own skin for the second time tonight! Riddick dragging out Lex Collins when it looked like he just had the match won! What’s he got there! Oh he just crushed Collins with the RSW Legacy Title!



As Lex gets dragged to his feet, Dagvald measures and unleashes a perfectly placed shot to the side of Lex’s head. The main plate of the title belt thuds against his head sending him to the ringside mats in a heap.



TOMMY ONIONS: Lex Collins definitely just got knocked the fuck out Greer!



JOSEPH GREER: Tommy! Andi Snow now stumbling over…



Andi shakes out the cobwebs and reaches through the second and third ropes to grab Dag’s hair.



JOSEPH GREER: Oh! Another nasty shot with the Legacy belt just laid out Andi Snow!



The fans boo the antics of Riddick only to renew their hatred when Shawna calls for the bell!



DING! DING!! DING!!!



TOMMY ONIONS: Oh shit! Shawna done fucked up! These crazy bastards might riot!



Half eaten bags of popcorn and partly finished sofas launched from seat around the arena litter ringside as Bob Mooney delivers the unfortunate news.



BOB MOONEY: Due to the actions of Dagvald Riddick; RSW Senior Referee, Shawna Savante has called a stop to this contest ruling the match a….no contest!



JOSEPH GREER: What a despicable move by the Legacy Champion! Just as it looked like Lex Collins was about to win the match, Dag pulls him from the ring, lays out both Andi AND Lex and Shawna has no choice but to throw this one out Tommy!



Outside the ring Dagvald celebrates as though he’s won the title all over again.



TOMMY ONIONS: I’m taking solace looking down and seeing a half conscious Andi Snow soaking wet and crawling on the floor, item officially checked off my list!



JOSEPH GREER: You’re a disturbed man Tommy Onions, and so is the RSW Legacy Champion Dagvald Riddick! The number one contendership might be murky water right now but Dag just sent a clear message…he’s the Legacy Champion and he’s willing to do whatever it takes to stay Champion!



TOMMY ONIONS: There’s nothing wrong with what Dag did here provided he didn’t damage Andi Snow’s face Greer! He’s just getting comfortable in RSW and tonight is just a taste of what our Legacy Champion is willing to do!



Backing up the ramp to a continued chorus of boos, Dagvald Riddick smiles at the carnage he’s left behind. The show ends with Dagvald Riddick holding the Legacy Championship above his head in victory.



Behind him, the RioTron shows the crumpled bodies of Lex Collins and Andi Snow. Fading to black, Joseph Greer signs off.



JOSEPH GREER: As Shadow Wars begins to loom on the horizon, the Legacy Championship picture is officially heating up! We’re out of time, for Tommy Onions I’m Joseph Greer, good night from Lobito! See you in Lagos for Anarchy Forty!