Post by Curtis D. Kanyon on Aug 23, 2018 2:23:29 GMT -5
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-Boot-
///The screen blinks on with a red tint to it. We see the wall of a room. The camera raises up and starts to scan the room. We see text running along the red tinted screen:
A:\>Systems online…
A:\>Searching…
///We see Evil Borg and Heavy-Metal Borg sitting on a nearby couch eating popcorn while watching television.
A:\>Run Facial Verification…
Registered: Evil Borg
Allocation: Master
Registered: Heavy-Metal Borg
Allocation: Master
If {Allocation = Master}
Then {Start Microphone.exe}
A\>:Microphone.exe
: …keep watching, this is the best part!
A\>:Run TV Shazam…
…Reading Audio…
…Television Playing = “The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension!”
: Dr. Lizardo has the near perfect master plan! Every time I hope the ending changes, and every time I forget that this prehistoric time period creates movies with only one ending!
: Wooooop!
///Mecha Gold-Bear III's camera continues to look around the room until it locks onto a poster of Global Dominance.
Registered: Global Dominance. September 1st. Starting in 10 Days:20 hours:13 Minutes:37 Seconds.
Action Protocol: Eliminate Danny Ray
cin>> Mecha Gold-Bear III has been programmed with a mission to bring about there ...THE AFTERWARD, a futuristic timeline in which Borgs rule. ...THE AFTERWARD is 255% more evil than current timeline. Mecha Gold-Bear III has calculated that evil timeline is 72% more likely to occur with removal of Danny Ray. Danny Ray has been calculated to be too good to exist.
Run/: Win Percentage Calculation Update
If {Facing Danny Ray solo}
Then {100% guarantee, removal of still beating heart}
If {Facing Danny Ray with Masters in corner}
Then {52% guarantee, removal of limbs}
Cin>> Must remove masters from ringside.
Cout>> Mecha Gold-Bear III must request Masters stay in the locker room. Odds of eliminating Danny Ray drastically go down with your presence.
A:\Translate.exe
///Translating results of prompt into verbage with which the Masters will understand.
Cout>> Stay behind me. I will give Danny Ray a bear hug!
: Stay behind me. I will give Danny Ray a bear hug!
: What? Ah Mecha! You are back online! Yes of course, we will be behind you all the way! In fact we will be in your corner as you destroy that goody-two-shoes!
Cin>> Master does not understand. Chance of success is reduced daily with Master involvement.
Cout>> Master must stay back. ...THE AFTERWARD must come to fruition.
A:\Translate.exe
Cout>> Unnecessary, I will bring the ...THE AFTERWARD.
: Unnecessary, I will bring the ...THE AFTERWARD.
: YES! That's my boy! I can't wait to see it up close and personal!
Cin>> Master demands to be present.
Run/: Win Percentage Calculation Update
If {Facing Danny Ray with uninformed Masters}
Then {41% guarantee, broken humorous}
Cin>> Win percentage too low, looking up Danny Ray via search engine...
A:\> Contacting Bing.com...
...
...
Weakness found...
Family = Amanda Ray, Thomas Ray, Daniel Ray
If {Family sitting ringside}
Then {Chance to create optimal evil}
Cin>> Danny Ray has family. Danny Ray has children. Children easy to augment thought process. Mecha Gold-Bear III must give children reasons to be evil. Generating list of impressionable evil growing moments:
1. Tell Dirty Jokes
>2. Maim Father Until Tears Form<
3. Kick a Canine
4. Remove All Ice Cream from Building
5. Befriend Justin Bieber
: Woop woop Oooop! "Highway to the Danger Zone!"
A:\Trasnlation.exe
Processing Ye Old Borgian Lexicon
Translation = The new processor we installed looks like it's working well. First we dominate the globe, then we dominate the Earth! No one can stop us from bringing about ...THE AFTERWARD... now!
Cin>> Master Heavy Metal has poor vocabulary, but proper thinking. Win percentage +5% as long as this continues.
System Analysis: Percentage of ...THE AFTERWARD... happening with Borgs at new thought process. 22%. Fallen too low. Elimina--.
: Oh yeah, you know our main machine will bring it for us Heavy!
///Evil smacks Mecha in the arm and the screen blips.
System Analysis: Trauma reset. Percentage of ...THE AFTERWARD... happening with Borgs at new thought process. 55%. Passable.
Cin>> Mecha Gold-Bear III must defeat Danny Ray and reduce good in the world. Create greater power for evil.
Cout>> I will destroy Danny Ray, feast on his entrails, and turn his children into serial killers.
A:\Translate.exe
///Translating results
Cout>> I would like to give a group hug to Danny Ray and family.
: I would like to give a group hug to Danny Ray and family.
: Ugh. There will be time for hugging after you defeat him! We really need to fix his audio creation wires.
-End transmission signal-
Loading…
Loading…
-Boot-
///The screen blinks on with a red tint to it. We see the wall of a room. The camera raises up and starts to scan the room. We see text running along the red tinted screen:
A:\>Systems online…
A:\>Searching…
///We see Evil Borg and Heavy-Metal Borg sitting on a nearby couch eating popcorn while watching television.
A:\>Run Facial Verification…
Registered: Evil Borg
Allocation: Master
Registered: Heavy-Metal Borg
Allocation: Master
If {Allocation = Master}
Then {Start Microphone.exe}
A\>:Microphone.exe
: …keep watching, this is the best part!A\>:Run TV Shazam…
…Reading Audio…
…Television Playing = “The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension!”
: Dr. Lizardo has the near perfect master plan! Every time I hope the ending changes, and every time I forget that this prehistoric time period creates movies with only one ending!: Wooooop!///Mecha Gold-Bear III's camera continues to look around the room until it locks onto a poster of Global Dominance.
Registered: Global Dominance. September 1st. Starting in 10 Days:20 hours:13 Minutes:37 Seconds.
Action Protocol: Eliminate Danny Ray
cin>> Mecha Gold-Bear III has been programmed with a mission to bring about there ...THE AFTERWARD, a futuristic timeline in which Borgs rule. ...THE AFTERWARD is 255% more evil than current timeline. Mecha Gold-Bear III has calculated that evil timeline is 72% more likely to occur with removal of Danny Ray. Danny Ray has been calculated to be too good to exist.
Run/: Win Percentage Calculation Update
If {Facing Danny Ray solo}
Then {100% guarantee, removal of still beating heart}
If {Facing Danny Ray with Masters in corner}
Then {52% guarantee, removal of limbs}
Cin>> Must remove masters from ringside.
Cout>> Mecha Gold-Bear III must request Masters stay in the locker room. Odds of eliminating Danny Ray drastically go down with your presence.
A:\Translate.exe
///Translating results of prompt into verbage with which the Masters will understand.
Cout>> Stay behind me. I will give Danny Ray a bear hug!
: Stay behind me. I will give Danny Ray a bear hug!: What? Ah Mecha! You are back online! Yes of course, we will be behind you all the way! In fact we will be in your corner as you destroy that goody-two-shoes!Cin>> Master does not understand. Chance of success is reduced daily with Master involvement.
Cout>> Master must stay back. ...THE AFTERWARD must come to fruition.
A:\Translate.exe
Cout>> Unnecessary, I will bring the ...THE AFTERWARD.
: Unnecessary, I will bring the ...THE AFTERWARD.: YES! That's my boy! I can't wait to see it up close and personal!Cin>> Master demands to be present.
Run/: Win Percentage Calculation Update
If {Facing Danny Ray with uninformed Masters}
Then {41% guarantee, broken humorous}
Cin>> Win percentage too low, looking up Danny Ray via search engine...
A:\> Contacting Bing.com...
...
...
Weakness found...
Family = Amanda Ray, Thomas Ray, Daniel Ray
If {Family sitting ringside}
Then {Chance to create optimal evil}
Cin>> Danny Ray has family. Danny Ray has children. Children easy to augment thought process. Mecha Gold-Bear III must give children reasons to be evil. Generating list of impressionable evil growing moments:
1. Tell Dirty Jokes
>2. Maim Father Until Tears Form<
3. Kick a Canine
4. Remove All Ice Cream from Building
5. Befriend Justin Bieber
: Woop woop Oooop! "Highway to the Danger Zone!"A:\Trasnlation.exe
Processing Ye Old Borgian Lexicon
Translation = The new processor we installed looks like it's working well. First we dominate the globe, then we dominate the Earth! No one can stop us from bringing about ...THE AFTERWARD... now!
Cin>> Master Heavy Metal has poor vocabulary, but proper thinking. Win percentage +5% as long as this continues.
System Analysis: Percentage of ...THE AFTERWARD... happening with Borgs at new thought process. 22%. Fallen too low. Elimina--.
: Oh yeah, you know our main machine will bring it for us Heavy!///Evil smacks Mecha in the arm and the screen blips.
System Analysis: Trauma reset. Percentage of ...THE AFTERWARD... happening with Borgs at new thought process. 55%. Passable.
Cin>> Mecha Gold-Bear III must defeat Danny Ray and reduce good in the world. Create greater power for evil.
Cout>> I will destroy Danny Ray, feast on his entrails, and turn his children into serial killers.
A:\Translate.exe
///Translating results
Cout>> I would like to give a group hug to Danny Ray and family.
: I would like to give a group hug to Danny Ray and family.: Ugh. There will be time for hugging after you defeat him! We really need to fix his audio creation wires.-End transmission signal-
