Family Time with the Vipers (A Viper Production)
Sept 27, 2018 21:41:02 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer and Dave D-Flipz like this
Post by Dylan on Sept 27, 2018 21:41:02 GMT -5
Viper/Black household, Wednesday morning
Dylan
Dylan Viper: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM, WEARING ONLY YOUR TIGHTY WHITEYS?
The camera pans, to see Jeffrey indeed in his tighty whiteys. Except, they're slightly brown stained. And there's a wet stain on the frontt, with the tiniest lump up front.
Jeffrey Viper: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? I THINK THE REAL QUESTION IS WHAT THE FUCK WAS I DOING IN MY VIDEO?!
Dylan Viper: ...that made no fucking sense. Why the fuck are you here, wearing almost nothing! You do realize in a week we have a tag team match, you incompetent walking talking douche?
Jeffrey laughs what he thinks is a deep, manly belly laugh. His fat stomach jiggles grotesquely; almost like Dreadvan's stomach ripples when he gets hit.
Jeffrey Viper: OF COURSE I KNOW! I'VE BEEN PREPARING! I COOKED EGGS, DROVE MY CAR, AND DANCED! I RECORDED IT ALL! NOW, WE'LL RECORD A VIDEO TOGETHER!
Dylan gets up and shoves Jeffrey back.
Dylan Viper: NO! WE WILL NOT MAKE ANOTHER FUCKING VIDEO RP! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES MONGO, DT, AND KANYON HAVE THREATENED TO JOB US BECAUSE YOU DRIVE AROUND NUDE AND SHIT TALK MONGO!
Dylan shoves Jeffrey again.
Dylan Viper: THAT'S ALL YOU DO! YOU RECORD YOURSELF DRIVING, SHIT TALKING MONGO, THINKING YOU CAN MAKE A FUCKING CAREER OUT OF IT! YOU WORTHLESS SACK OF SHIT! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU TRY TO PASS OFF DANCING AS AN RP! YOU'RE A PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A TAG TEAM PARTNER!
Dylan sits on the edge of his bed, sighing in disappointment and slight anger. Jeffrey sits next to him, and puts his arm around Dylan's shoulders.
Jeffrey Viper: I know what this is about, sport!
Dylan looks up, as confused as the judges who are judging this are.
Dylan Viper: What?
Jeffrey Viper: You're jealous of my sick ass dancing skills! No worries, sport! I'll show you how to get down with the sickness!
Jeffrey Viper gets up and begins to do that backpack flossing dance shit you see in every Fartnite montage. Because Kuroi's too lazy to make a GIF of this, let alone do anything because he's a lazy fuck, enjoy a GIF of Bobby Barratt doing the dance.
Dylan stares at Jeffrey, appalled at the stupidity of what he is witnessing. Dylan just shakes his head and pulls at his hair.
Dylan Viper: I don't care about your shitty dance moves, Jeffrey.
Jeffrey stops, mid-dance, and stares at Dylan. A single tear slides down his face, before the look of sadness turns to rage.
Jeffrey Viper: WHAT?! YOU THINK... YOU THINK MY DANCE SKILLS ARE BAD?! LET'S SEE YOUR DANCE SKILLS, BUDDY! LET'S SEE HOW GOOD YOU ARE AT DANCING, SPORT! COME ON!
Dylan just sits there, stone faced, because he is too lazy to dance. Laziness runs in the family, yo.
Jeffrey Viper: Yeah, that's what I thought! You're a kid. You don't know about wooing the ladies. Ladies love a man who isn't afraid to go out there, dance and put his weirdest foot forward! Don't be a bitch, kid.
Hailey shouts from across the house.
Hailey Black: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOUR SKINNY DICKED WEASEL NOSED SPYING SON OF A BITCH!
Jeffrey turns around, anger in his eyes, and storms out of the room.
Jeffrey Viper: SKINNY DICKED, HUH! HOW ABOUT I PULL MY CLOTHES OFF AND FUCK YOU LIKE I FUCKED MONGO! "O! O! O!" LIKE A GAPING BUTTHOLE!
The shouting between Hailey and Jeffrey becomes indistinct as Dylan hangs his head in his hands, sighing and pulling at his hair.
Dylan Viper: I need a new family.
CUT TO BLACK.
