Anarchy 42 Results

[vastrix]

A bombardment of British images filled the screen. Those images quickly dissolved as the Union Jack flag upon the screen burned from the outside inside. Footage of various things that had happened in history from around the country bleed through the flames until finally, it stopped upon the Bastards logo.



The camera pulls back to reveal the wrestler known as Frank Windsor. Stood behind him are his Bastard team-mates Rob Riot and Billy Fowler.



FRANK WINDSOR: Hello my little fuckers! You wankers think that I wouldn’t be back? Someone has to bail this guy out? Rob Riot?



Rob Riot’s is dressed in his wrestling gear with a trademarked “Bastards” t-shirt over it. He slaps Rob on the back who doesn’t look too impressed with Frank. Then he motioned to the other man.



FRANK WINDSOR: Or what about the weak fucking link Fowler here? This guy is injured so that’s why he’s been sitting on his ass. Should he come out and help Rob? Oh I couldn’t let that happen to the viewing public. This is such a big time for the Bastards, and Fowler’s a bed wetter.



Billy Fowler is standing in his suit.



BILLY FOWLER: One of these day Frank, one of these days.



FRANK WINDSOR: He’s very ashamed, and that is why I am back to help out my brother from another mother.



He smirks at the camera whilst Billy rolls his eyes.



FRANK WINDSOR: So seems that Rob here needed bailing out from a bunch of morons that are getting in his face. Most of them come across as a group of wankers that have no more of a chance of getting over with the fans that Gary Glitter does of getting in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.



Billy Fowler shrugs his shoulders at this inappropriate comment as he is used to Frank crossing the line of decency.



FRANK WINDSOR: A homeless guy, a homophobic kid and a clown? I think they’ve got all bases covered.



Frank walks around as the cameraman follows him.



FRANK WINDSOR: I have got a frigging question for one of them. Salem can I ask you a question? Can I? Yes? Ok, I’ve gotta know……..Calling me out on Social Media make you Johnny Big Bollocks? Difference between you and Frank, Frank says it to your face. Maybe if you took Erik’s dick out of your mouth you’d be able to use your mouth to do that and not just your fingers texting.



Billy looks disgusted as that mental image crosses his mind.



BILLY FOWLER: I beg your pardon? You can’t say that. We are professional wrestlers Frank, not Joey Essex wannabies.



FRANK WINDSOR: Ahhh……Your teeth, they’re just so damn shiny and straight. I don’t know where your mind is Billy? You are probably in the gutter somewhere. Is that why you want us to go on Celebrity Juice? All this time off from wrestling and now you have to sit behind that desk calling the action.



Rob smirks ever so slightly.



FRANK WINDSOR: I’ve got my sun screen and have taken my motion sickness pills so bring on the ride bitch! Are you expecting something different from the King of Yorkshire? I’ve seen what you and that homeless tag partner of yours get up to in your spare time, we’ve all seen the stuff on pornhub.



ROB RIOT: They are all body doubles.



Frank smirks.



FRANK WINDSOR: I can’t stand here all day and take the piss out of my stable mate even though it is quite easy. No, I must talk about bringing the fire back to Riot Star Wrestling. We bring in the ratings. Bit like those 80’s media stars in the UK did before their fall.



Fowler puts his hand up.



BILLY FOWLER: She was old enough dude, and it’s different in Thailand fucker.



FRANK WINDSOR: ………..Ok Rolf. Nobody stands between you and what you want right? But back on subject.



He points at himself.



FRANK WINDSOR: This is all about fucking Frank Windsor. Frank Windsor will bring a fitting end to these punks that have been hassling Rob before moving onto someone that can actually bring something to the match. Not some pathetic emo clown that needs a good seeing to before he cuts himself one more time. Hey Erik, that make you rage with disgust?



Billy put his hand up.



BILLY FOWLER: Come on Frank, everyone knows that you are some weirdo dude who has a fixation with foul language.



FRANK WINDSOR: And? What’s that got to do with the price of things? It’s not like the Winter is coming. This is Frank Windsor’s time Billy, time for you to roll over and let me get on with my play for greatness.



BILLY FOWLER: What? Have you been smoking that shit again. You know the rule? Puff, puff, pass right?



FRANK WINDSOR: I don’t smoke that shit, not my thing anymore ask Rob.



BILLY FOWLER: The funny thing is that you believe that, so do you have any final words as I have to get to the announce table to start the show?”



Frank grabs the camera.



FRANK WINDSOR: Welcome to Anarchy, in the house that the Bastards built.



He then walks off camera leaving the other Bastards. Billy Fowler rolls his eyes as he walks off.



Rob Riot looks at the camera.



ROB RIOT: Bed wetter?



Pyros explode in the arena as we see Billy Fowler running down to the ring.



TOMMY ONIONS: Welcome to Anarchy people.



JOSEPH GREER: Seems like Frank Windsor’s back and business is going to pick up tonight.



TOMMY ONIONS: Hello Billy, nice of you to join us.



BILLY FOWLER: It’s been busy but this is my day job.



JOSEPH GREER: Ladies and gentlemen I’d like to apologise for Frank’s language but let’s get on with the show.

[vastrix]

BOB MOONEY: This opening match is scheduled for one fall! Featuring first the challenger…Senor Vinnie!



Epic Metalachi begins to play as Senor Vinnie walks out from the back. He’s dressed up like a classic Dracula with his hair slicked back, fake fangs, and a dark cape draped on his shoulders. He makes his way down to the ring as the fans give him a lukewarm reaction.



JOSEPH GREER: He looks like a classic Christopher Lee vampire. Awesome!



TOMMY ONIONS: So, I hear this Senor Vinnie is actually an Italian from Jersey, but he got hit in the head or something.



JOSEPH GREER: It says right here that he’s billed from Mexico.



BILLY FOWLER: Does he look Mexican to you?



JOSEPH GREER: Well, no.



TOMMY ONIONS: He’s just fucked in the head like the rest of them. Should fit in just fine.



BOB MOONEY: And his opponent…Omar Azure…the Dragon King!



“Catch Your Breath” by CFO$ begins playing as Omar Azure walks out from the back. He looks around at the cheering crowd before making his way down to the ring.



TOMMY ONIONS: Must be some XCW fans in the audience since no good RSW fan would cheer this guy on.



JOSEPH GREER: In the world of RSW, the Dragon King is what passes for a nice guy. The fans know whom to cheer for.



BILLY FOWLER: Why are we even talking about some other company? Small leagues.



As the bell rings to start the match, Omar Azure and Senor Vinnie begin circling around each other. Senor Vinnie reaches for Omar, but gets his hand slapped away. Omar grabs Vinnie, going for an irish whip, but Vinnie reverses it, and sends Omar to the ropes. Vinnie rushes to the opposite side and hits a high knee on the rebound!



Omar responds by sending Vinnie to the ropes as Omar runs to the ropes. On the rebound, Omar levels Vinnie with a flying roundhouse kick!



TOMMY ONIONS: I hear that the Dragon King is main event material at XCW. He was going for the World title held by Sam Joseph last I heard.



BILLY FOWLER: The Dragon King opens for RSW, main events for XCW. That tells you the level of talent in RSW.



Omar waits for Vinnie to stand up and goes for a buzzsaw kick. Vinnie catches the foot and sweeps Omar’s other foot from under him to send Omar to the mat! Vinnie keeps hold of the foot and turns, dropping an elbow to the inside of Omar’s knee!



Vinnie gets up quickly, meeting Omar, and applying a chicken wing! The ref quickly gets to Omar to see if he submits, but he shakes his head to the negative.



After a few minutes, Vinnie pushes Omar toward the ropes, and catches an arm on the rebound to apply an arm wringer! Omar quickly does a flip, but Vinnie holds onto the arm, and changes it up to an armbar!



JOSEPH GREER: Vinnie working the arms and shoulders of Omar to weaken them for the Rings of Mariachi.



TOMMY ONIONS: That sounds more like jewelry worn by a specialty Mariachi band. Look! We wear this in honor, one of the Rings of Mariachi!



BILLY FOWLER: That sounds silly, but true.



Vinnie kicks Omar in the gut and hits a discus clothesline to send the Dragon King to the mat! He hits a quick knee drop while Omar is downed and goes for the pinfall!



One



Tw-Omar kicks out!



Vinnie jumps to his feet, pulls Omar up, and catches a European uppercut for his efforts. Omar drops back and hits a buzzsaw kick! Then another one! A third buzzsaw kick sends Vinnie to the mat where Omar goes for the cover!



One



Two



Th-Vinnie kicks out!



Omar kneels up, looking unhappily at the ref who holds up two fingers. He pulls Vinnie up to begin a double underhook suplex, but Vinnie reverses it. He stands up to get Omar in the air and sits down to drop Omar onto his head!



Vinnie pulls Omar up, applies a Hammerlock, and hits a DDT! He hooks a leg for the cover.



One



Two



Thre-Omar kicks out!



Vinnie watches as Omar gets up, hits a German suplex! He keeps hold to hit another German suplex, and then another!



JOSEPH GREER: Vinnie with the Three Amigos! Could this be a set up for the Rings of Mariachi?



TOMMY ONIONS: I wonder what Vinnie’s name was before the accident? I’m sure his legal name is someplace. Maybe Armand would tell me?



JOSEPH GREER: I think that Armand would rather tell you to get bent.



BILLY FOWLER: Does it even matter what his name was before the accident?



TOMMY ONIONS: Maybe.



Senor Vinnie locks up one arm between his legs, grabs the other, and locks in the Rings of Mariachi! It isn’t locked in for long before the ref signals for Senor Vinnie to break the hold.



Senor Vinnie stands up with his hands raised in victory, but the ref stops him and informs him that Omar had a foot on the ropes.



JOSEPH GREER: I guess the match continues, eh?



TOMMY ONIONS: Massacre is more like it.



BILLY FOWLER: The match is a bit more even than you think.



TOMMY ONIONS: Maybe Omar should try teleporting from the ring to get away. It worked in XCW.



JOSEPH GREER: He teleported away from the ring? Teleported?



TOMMY ONIONS: I don’t know what he did, but he won the XCW World title.



Vinnie pulls Omar up and whips him into the corner. He follows, but Omar moves out of the way so that Vinnie connects with the turnbuckles. Omar puts Vinnie to the ropes, applying a reverse cobra clutch and body scissors combination.



JOSEPH GREER: Omar with the Bite of the Dragon!



TOMMY ONIONS: Don’t you mean Dragon King with the Bite of the Dragon?



JOSEPH GREER: Whatever.



BILLY FOWLER: It’s said that Omar and the Dragon King are two different personas with different wrestling moves.



Shawna gets in Omar’s face, yelling at him to break the hold that uses the ropes as a major part of it. She eventually begins to count Omar out.



One



Two



Three



Four



Omar releases the hold. Vinnie rears back with an elbow to the side of the head before Omar can get very far away. He spins around, hitting a discus clothesline that sends Omar down to the mat. Vinnie backs up to the ropes and uses the momentum to hit a knee drop to Omar’s shoulder.



Vinnie places a foot in Omar’s armpit and gives the arm a quick yank! He drags Omar to the center of the ring and applies the Rings of Mariachi again! This time Omar wastes no time in submitting.



BOB MOONEY: Winner via submission…Senor Vinnie!



Senor Vinnie raises his arms in victory for real this time.



TOMMY ONIONS: Does this mean that Senor Vinnie should be the XCW World champion right now?



JOSEPH GREER: This match wasn’t booked by XCW so I’m going to say no.

[vastrix]

The RioTron lights up and the words public announcement flashes on the screen. Then we see Knucks and he is sitting dressed in a fancy suit and tie on a stool behind him is a fancy looking curtain and the camera zooms in on his face. Knucks face looks cleaner then normal and his dreadlocks are pulled back and he has a very serious look on his face.



KNUCKS: Greeting my fellow americans. Over the last few weeks we have all heard the attacks on one man. While so many try to smear this man’s good name. Accusations are very harmful especially when so many people today believe it as being the gospel truth. But the truth is many of us will just continue spreading these false lies and these false accusations because we want them to be true.



KNUCKS: Hell some of us know nothing about it but if we hear enough times the same information we to will believe it. Though these attacks didn’t change anything it truly shows how messed up society is.



TOMMY ONIONS: He realizes that the Kavanaugh thing is over right?



KNUCKS: Well Ladies and Gentlemen this is a very sad time. We all look dumb for jumping on the accusations of one person. Then its two people saying it and then a third person and so on. That is how we get ourselves into the spot we are currently in. If you speak out against the person starting this ugly rumor people call you names. If you let them just continue on they will just keep spreading this hate. Truly this is one of the worse misjustices in my lifetime. When someone has accomplished so much to have one person hate just take that all away from you. Ladies and Gentlemen it is time I take a stand. People need to stand up and support this man as he tries to clear his name.



CHINESE MAN: Look are you purchasing or not? And no one gives a fuck about you.



KNUCKS: Ladies and gentlemen its time.



CHINESE MAN: ITs time you buy or time you change… you been here for two hours… you take of my suit and you leave… you no borow my clothes for stupid video… you pay me now… or I will…



KNUCKS: Shut the fuck up you chink I don’t have time for this… give me 30 seconds fuck dude you are apart of the problem anyways… you have no respect you rice eating cat killing mother fucker. Fuck Man you got my mood all fucked up now.



CHINESE MAN: I am going to call the cops.



KNUCKS: For fuck sake I was getting to the part where I have been wrongfully accused of being homeless… but no mister Chen needs his suit back because the zero customers coming in are being distracted by me… fuck this… well ladies and gentleman welcome to the Lifestyles of the Poor and Famous.



*******



A cheap as looking poster board shows the logo of the LIfestyles of the Poor and Famous and then we see Knucks dressed in his RSW T shirt and jeans and a bandana. He sits on the top of some shitty looking steps in what one can only assume is his apartment.



KNUCKS: Greetings my name is Anthony Stevensons but you may know me better as Knucks… From the RSW or Sex Anonymous as well as Naughty Cam Girls .com my screen name is Knucks Deep. well over the last month or so people have started calling me Homeless and to be honest that is totally not fair. I have a home and in a minute I am going to give a full access look into the crib of the White Trash… Beer Drinking… Weed Smoking and Pussy Popping King. This two bedroom and Half a Bathroom is located in the inner city of Chicago hood.



NEIGHBOR LADY: Will you shut the fuck up my kids are sleeping and so is the baby daddy.



KNUCKS: Well Damn I would hate to wake up any of those 6 monsters and their 6 different daddys… hey maybe if you closed your fucking legs and said No once in awhile you wouldn’t have all those shitty diapers. Not to mention your vagina that inside of those leggings looks like you stole 2 bean bags from the corn hole board down at the communuty center. And your new sex toy FFFFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDD as you like to scream needs to stop bagging your face off the head board otherwise you are going to lose that last tooth.



NEIGHBOR LADY: Fuck you Anthony…



KNUCKS: Fuck no, I will just let you suck my dick again… shit maybe if FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDD knocks it out you will stop scraping my dick when you give me blowies so i will watch your kids for 5 minutes while you run to store for blunt wraps and chicken.



NEIGHBOR GUY: Will you all shut the fuck up… you know these damn walls are thin… and Anthony Mr. Skee wants his rent I am tired of him pounding on your door and making my lights flicker with every hit. Just pay the man your rent.



Knucks walks into his apartment and shuts the door behind him. In this area you see piles of dirty shoes and dirty socks. And you see a pair of black boots that knucks wears to the ring just sitting their. Knucks kicks over some socks but they don’t move they are stiff from being so dirty.



KNUCKS: Welcome to my crib… this is what we call the entrance room this is where I keep my fake ass Nike shoes, my And1 shoes and my wrestling boots. As you look around you will notice that this is a home… it may be rented but its a home and so saying i am homeless is fucking disrespectful. So if Joseph Greer wants to spread lies about me being homeless and Tommy Onions wants to jump in with these false lies I am just not going to take that shit lying down.



Knucks continues his walk and comes to the first bedroom. He opens the door up and in this room is a sleeping bag and a pillow without a pillowcase on it. This pillow is nasty and all stained up. The wall has holes in it where someone has punched the wall and its just completely nasty. Knucks walks in more and flips the light switch over and after trying to get the light to turn many times it eventually turns on.



KNUCKS This right here is what we call the guest room. This is where that fine lady can put her belongings and pretend like she will sleep in the guest room. But we all know Knucks has his way with the ladies and they always want to crawl in with their new daddy. This room has one of those nice ass sleeping bags from the goodwill store… and that pillow was out by the road the other day and i was like damn I never seen one that was colored to look like a coffee filter. So I set this place up and ladies you may be lucky to come back to my crib and get your oil changed. Get your uterus destroyed you know what I am saying. I just need to make sure Candy isn’t coming into town.



Knucks walks out of the room and now fights with the light switch to turn the damn light off. He gives up and walks out of the room and walks down the hall to the Living room. Knucks stops at a recliner with duct tape on it. Well to be honest it had more tape on the chair then actual fake leather material. Knucks sits down in the chair and tries to recline it and nothing happens. He pushes back with more force and you hear a cracking sound as the back of the chair starts to fall off.



KNUCKS: You see every man needs his king chair and looks at how awesome this chair is. This shit right here is custom made you won’t find another lazy boy recliner with this exact design on it anywhere else. Look when I am not scamming people for free beer or weed or on the road for a wrestling match I like to be home in my HOUSE drinking, smoking, fucking.



Knucks moves to the couch that has legs on one side and a wooden fence post resting under the couch on the other side. The post makes the couch somewhat level. Knucks drops down on the couch and puts his hands behind his head.



KNUCKS: I got a killer deal on this couch you see this old guy name Urve or something like that died on this couch in his apartment this summer when it was really hot out. They didn’t find his body for a few weeks. It took a few days of spray the flies and the bugs but they eventually died for the most part. Well the other day I was laying down… well some people call it pass out but whatever. Well while I was laying down a maggot crawled up my pant leg. I got scared it was going to get in my dick hole… So i started pissing to make sure that fucker wasn’t getting in. Thank god they are not good swimmers I would have been fucked. Ok back to the tour. Let’s check out my bedroom.



Knucks gets off the couch and pulls what looks to be a bug off of his shirt and he tosses it on the ground with the Pizza Boxes and Cans. Knucks takes a few more steps and opens the door and you see a decent queen size bed and the headboard is made out of street signs from the chicago area and he lays down on the bed.



KNUCKS You see when the ladies come to Chi Town they want to see the Sear Tower… But that shit cost money so i show them Knucks Tower instead.



On the ground is a few laundry baskets that Knucks keeps his clothes in. none of them are folded but they are at least somewhat of off the dirty floor. Knucks walks into the famous bathroom.



KNUCKS: This is the famous Half bathroom, you see the shower stopped working now but the toilet works-ish you see.



Knucks flips the lid open and inside is a huge turd. Knucks grabs a pair of tongs and grabs the turd out and puts it in a poop bag and tosses out the window.



KNUCKS: Yeah my bad sometimes i forget that I didn’t flush. I was talking to candy and she was telling me how much of a turn on it was last week to dress up as tiffany and have me fuck the dead out of her. But look I piss in the top bowl and then after a few weeks i can flush a turd down and start over filling it up. In the meantime I throw it out the window. Best part is they think its the homeless guy who lives next to the building they make that fucker pick them up.



KNUCKS So ladies and gentleman when you see or hear comments about me being homeless i hope you think of this elegant tour you seen. Its not everyday i give a full tour of this place… so know your special. But I hope everyone understands now that I am not homeless and yes Mr Erik Black I have room for you to stay its not a small box its a nice ass place. Thanks for taking the time to check out how the other side lives on the Lifestyles of the Poor and Famous.



Knocks opens his apartment door and a black man with one of those furry hats with the ear flaps on. He has on a cheap ass looking suit. Knucks slams the door quickly and the man starts screaming and beating on the door. Knucks looks around and he heads to the living room. He looks out the window and quickly he tries to open the window. The window is not opening so he picks up his bong and throws it through the window. Knucks knocks the rest of the glass out of the window. He then climbs out on the fire escape. He goes down the fire escape and reaches bottom.



KNUCKS: Damn that dude wants his money



CAMERA GUY:: Look I know I am not suppose to talk but you make good money why live like this.



The video feed ends



TOMMY ONIONS: damn this dude is messed up but I have to say the man is not homeless.



JOSEPH GREER: I think he would be better off being homeless. A couch that a dead body was rotting on… a toilet where you have to pick out your own turd and throw it out.



TOMMY ONIONS: who are you to judge this man. He blames you for starting the ugly rumor. I know I made comments but damn it this man deserves respect he isn’t homeless.



JOSEPH GREER: well why don’t you go check out his place in Chicago next time you go that way?

[vastrix]

Senor Vinnie can be seen backstage in his Dracula outfit celebrating his victory over his opponent with a glass of alcoholt, he bumps into a wall as he has clearly drank too much and starts to burp loudly



SENOR VINNIE: Excuse me…. Senor….



He starts to run his hands across the wall and feels the doorknob and starts to massage it and puts his other hand to his mouth in a fake attempt to be shocked.



SENOR VINNIE: Excuse me senorita, you must forgive me. I’m drunk and my eyes are slammed shut upon my eyes. You see I just battled a man that thinks he is a dragon, something he has seen from too many episodes of some HBO show that absolutely blows.



Senor Vinnie suddenly becomes silent as he nods his head before pouring the final drops of alcohol into his mouth.



SENOR VINNIE: You are right, I should not use foul language at a decent senorita like you. But I will tell this company that starting from next show I will bring the gift of the people…. They will know the power of the….. ssst, I can’t tell.



With that he walks off as he clearly wobbles on his feet.

[vastrix]

BOB MOONEY: This next match is scheduled for one fall! Featuring first the challenger…Steve Murdock!



“Evil Walks” by AC/DC begins playing as Steve Murdock walks out from the back with his kendo stick over his shoulder. He grins at the boos as he makes his ay down to the ring.



JOSEPH GREER: Is that blood on the kendo stick?



TOMMY ONIONS: I think so! Think he put his kendo stick in costume?



BILLY FOWLER: I’m thinking there may be something a little more sinister at play here.



BOB MOONEY: And his opponent…Jackson “Animal” Jacobs!



“Rise Inside” by Killswitch Engage begins playing, but no one comes out from the back.



JOSEPH GREER: Think that Jackson just didn’t see the cue to come down to the ring?



TOMMY ONIONS: Maybe he doesn’t want to come down to the ring to face Murdock.



BILLY FOWLER: Perhaps he’s hurt backstage. Steve did promise something of a turn.



Inside the ring, Steve Murdock begins smacking the mat with the kendo stick.



BOB MOONEY: And his opponent…Jackson “Animal” Jacobs!



“Rise Inside” by Killswitch Engage begins playing once again, but no one comes out from the back.



The ref shrugs and begins to count Animal out while he glances to see what Steve Murdock is doing. He has put his initials on the mat in blood from the kendo stick.



The RioTron comes on once the ref gets to ten and reveals that Jackson Jacobs is in the locker room on the floor, blood leaking from several injuries. Steve Murdock covers his mouth like “Oops!”.



BOB MOONEY: Winner of the match via countout…Steve Murdock!



JOSEPH GREER: This match shouldn’t even count! Murdock attacked Jacobs backstage and finished him off before he could even be introduced!



TOMMY ONIONS: I had heard that Murdock was going to take a trip on the dark side. I wonder if he had also attacked Erik Black on the last show?



BILLY FOWLER: Erik Black likely saw himself in the mirror and attacked himself.



TOMMY ONIONS: That’s low, especially for you, Fowler, but I love it!



Steve Murdock swings his kendo stick around in the ring like he was some martial arts master to the boos of the fans before he heads to the back.



TOMMY ONIONS: Murdock trying to show that he’s still badass around here.



JOSEPH GREER: I guess that it worked.



BILLY FOWLER: Badass with a weapon…



“Circus Apocalypse” by Vermillion Lies begins as Steve Murdock gets halfway down the aisle to the back. Armand von Krauss walks out onto the entrance stage. He looks from the RioTron where the screen still shows the beat down Jackson Jacobs and back to Steve Murdock.



TOMMY ONIONS: Armand doesn’t look very happy.



JOSEPH GREER: Would you?



TOMMY ONIONS: Naturally. I think.



BILLY FOWLER: Armand is ever happy?



ARMAND VON KRAUSS: While I do admire your artwork there. I can’t help, but to be disappointed in the fact that you did all of this work backstage while the fans were not looking. Hank?



On the RioTron, Big Ass Hank can be seen picking up the downed Jackson “Animal” Jacobs and tossing him over a shoulder. It isn’t long before Hank can be seen coming out from the back and heading toward the ring. Steve Murdock looks at Hank with a look of confusion.



Hank lays Jackson onto the apron and pops open a thing of smelling salts under Jackson’s nose to wake him up. Armand motions to the ring with a laugh.



ARMAND VON KRAUSS: Beat him up in the ring while the fans are watching.



Steve Murdock shrugs and heads back to the ring.



JOSEPH GREER: Looks like the match is going to be restarted.



TOMMY ONIONS: Do we have to? Jackson is in the ring, but barely with it.



BILLY FOWLER: Maybe we should have just settled this with a rematch later on tonight, but I’m not in charge.



Steve Murdock rolls into the ring, waits for Jackson to stand up. He grabs Jackson by the head, delivering several knee lifts to the gut before changing it up to several headbutts. He throws Jackson to the ropes, hitting a clothesline on the rebound that flips Jackson over and to the mat.



JOSEPH GREER: Animal nearly decapitated with that clothesline!



TOMMY ONIONS: This is a total one sided bit of carnage. See Armand still watching with a twisted little smile?



JOSEPH GREER: It’s the same smile you get when you see carnage.



TOMMY ONIONS: I do. I really do.



Steve pulls Jackson up and hits his Leg Sweep DDT before going for the cover!



One



Two



Three!



Steve Murdock jumps to his feet, snatching the microphone away from the entering Bob Mooney.



STEVE MURDOCK: Is this what you were looking for, Armand? Your winner via pinfall…me!



Armand rubs his chin with a grin.



ARMAND VON KRAUSS: It’ll do, Murdock. It’ll do.



With that, Armand von Krauss heads to the back.



Steve Murdock grabs his kendo stick and grins as he uses it to smack Jackson without mercy, putting his initials on the man in welts. He leaves to head to the back as Jackson Jacobs groans in pain.

[vastrix]

The words PREVIOUSLY RECORDED flash across the screen before Lex Collins is shown sitting in the corridor of what can only be assumed is Croke Park in Dublin. He’s covered in sweat as he sits there, gazing at the twin championship belts in his lap. In a low, hoarse voice he starts speaking, never lifting his eyes off his newly-doubled collection of gold.



LEX COLLINS: I’ve held more championship belts’n I can remember. I’ve been jumped, battered, bruised an’ reviled for them. I’ve been crushed for them, bled buckets for them, even been electrocuted for them. I’ve been dicked ’round by management in other places I’ve worked. I’ve been tossed an’ kicked around – taken as much as the human body can handle and I’m still here. I’m still standin’ here with this gold. I’ve endured what others might consider torture for this business… all for a cause that don’t make sense half the time. You might think it’s for the people, for this deep connection I got with those asses in the seats.



He shakes his head and sighs.



LEX COLLINS: I wish I could make a claim like that – can’t bring myself to lie right now, to sugar-coat the ugly truth. I do it ’cause I’m in a race against time, against the inevitable decline. Gettin’ old. Did too much dumb shit over the course of this career to bank on any sort of longevity. So I gotta burn like a fuckin’ candle every time my music hits. I need to be in their hearts. Their minds. I need to seize my slice of immortality… y’know, for the sake of keepin’ my name up there on the marquee. Tonight…



His voice breaks and he has to stop, clear his throat as he tilts his head back and closes his eyes.



LEX COLLINS: Tonight… I… I dunno what to say. Respect was earned, was given… an’ I feel like a torch was passed – funny, too, ’cause I wouldn’t have…



Biting his lip, he trails off again.



LEX COLLINS: I came here expecting nothin’, prepared for the worst. Prepared to have my name in the books for the shortest Legacy reign in the history of the company. Instead we put on a goddamn clinic in the middle of that ring and the crowd DEVOURED what we gave them – we damn near stole the show an’ we beat each other half to death… took it to the limit an’ not takin’ a damn thing away from Riot or Black right now, ‘cept maybe how that motherfucker better grow eyes in the back of his head. Pretty sure I’m not the only one with an axe to grind for a ruined moment. Not happy about that. An’ I feel like I owe Riot an apology. I feel like maybe I… wanted a reason to hate him, to push him into a box where it was easy to open a lid, let a demon loose an’ redirect that anger an’ hate. You deserved better. I suck. Sorry.



He looks down at the belt, at darkened blood stains on the leather that don’t belong to him.



LEX COLLINS: That’s what this is for. Sacrifice. Spoils of war.



His voice comes out soft, his swollen fingers tracing the raised lettering on the nameplate that hasn’t been changed, the one that spells out ROB RIOT.



LEX COLLINS: My very first championship was called the Atrocity Championship. Awful things to win it. Even worse to retain. Won that nine years ago? Seems like another life but y’know, it makes sense… explains a whole lot when you consider the path taken to get where we are now. Anarchy. Legacy. Which one is more of a definition an’ which is more of a mindset? Polar opposites, really. Reject the norm. [he raps his knuckles on the faceplate of his new gold.] Cement your future. One of these things is not like the other.



He chuckles.



LEX COLLINS: There’s a voice whispering in the back of my head, tellin’ me I’m a fraud… sayin’ I don’t deserve this. I was a side of small potatoes, an afterthought in a showcase rematch. What… how’d this happen? When the fuck did the universe start to favor the reckless… the fuckin’ fearless?



He leans back against the wall again, letting his head loll back.



LEX COLLINS: This means something. Maybe it means everything. I’m too wrecked right now to even sort out where my head’s at. I feel… fuckin’ overwhelmed. Heart’s too full. Chest hurts from holdin’ my breath, waitin’ for the bottom to drop out an’ the vultures to start circlin’. Never held two championships at the same time in the same company. Had a brief overlap when I had some in two places… but that was three years ago. Couldn’t maintain that for long. Made it a month before I lost the one I cared about more. Funny how that goes.



There’s a ghost of a smile on his lips for a split second.



LEX COLLINS: This is the calm before the shit tornado. Zero hour… nine PM back home. I’m still reeling, thinking about making a deal with the devil to maintain the status quo. See, someone’ll smell blood an’ alert the predators. Gotta challenge the alpha, right? No. Fuck no. It’s not a meal ticket. It’s not a fuckin’ trophy. It’s an extension of me now, like an extra appendage. A little edge to my smile. It’s the spring in my step. So much more’n just accessories. You feeling me? Do you understand what you’re in for if you come at me now? Do you?



He pushes up to his feet, draping a belt over each shoulder.



LEX COLLINS: Any moment, your career could end. You could take a header right off that pedestal. Nobody will notice. There will be a warm body filling your place in seconds. You have to stand out. Use your words. Give them a reason to care.



He shifts his weight from one foot to the other, shaking his head.



LEX COLLINS: I dunno, there are BORN champions – guys that’re born winners with silver spoons in their mouths an’ golden opportunities around every corner. There are guys who’re just born fighters who gotta scrape an’ claw an’ gouge their way to the top of the heap by sheer force of will. Those are the guys who APPRECIATE what a belt like this means… who understand what a veteran raisin’ your hand after a loss means. I… I’ll do my best. That’s my solemn vow.



Closing his eyes, he drags in a deep breath. He holds it for a few seconds before lifting it to look straight into the camera.



LEX COLLINS: Thank you. From the bottom of my heart.

[vastrix]

JOSEPH GREER: Some scary people here tonight.



TOMMY ONIONS: Well it is the Halloween show.



JOSEPH GREER: I’m hearing that your car alarms going off Tommy.



BILLY FOWLER: You’ve not got anything incriminating in your car Tommy?



Tommy looks scared before he jumps up and runs up the ramp way.



BOB MOONEY: And first to the ring, hailing from Las Vegas, it is Xander Joseph!!!!!!!



“X gonna give it to ya” by DMX starts blaring out around the arena. The curtains part and outsteps Xander Joseph. He is in a new “America Great” t-shirt and wrestling tight. He carries and American flag over his shoulder.



BOB MOONEY: And his opponent it is Isaiah Zepp!



A short guitar screech leads to the thrashing of At the Drive-In’s “Governed by Contagions”. A blinding white light shines chaotically around the arena as Isaiah Zepp steps foot onto the entrance stage. A scattering of fans in the crowd shine their cell phone lights back to him as he walks down the aisle. Isaiah climbs into the ring and removes his black hooded sweatshirt before throwing a fist in the air. Taking one last look at it he hands it to the referee before he offers a wicked gaze to the commentators, before turning back around to coldly but calmly and looks at Xander.



JOSEPH GREER: Man…look at the eyes of Isaiah….he could probably kill you with a thought…



BILLY FOWLER: Really?



As the referee enters the ring, the cheers that had been raised for Xander are re-doubled for Isaiah. He and Xander are patiently focused on each other.



BILLY FOWLER: The ref is in the ring now, and is signalling for the bell…..



Ding! Ding! Ding!



The two wrestlers circle each other, for a few seconds, then close and lock up in a collar-and-elbow. Xander, by far the heavier and stronger of the two, bulls Isaiah into the corner. The referee moves in, and begins the count, and Xander breaks, doing so cleanly, and raising his hands up in the air as if to show the crowd that he broke clean. The crowd responds with boos, which Xander ignores. Again, the two close and lock up in the collar-and-elbow and, again, Xander bulls Isaiah into the corner. This time, however, Xander lashes out with a right hand…..but it is blocked by Isaiah, who lands a heavy blow of his own, backing Xander back a step. The crowd raises a shout when it happens, and Xander backs off.



BILLY FOWLER: Solid blow by Isaiah! Xander won’t underestimate him again……



Isaiah moves in, grabbing the left arm of Xander, and spinning it around, locking in a nice-looking arm bar. Xander winces, but otherwise doesn’t react, save an attempt to make it to the ropes, which is blocked by Isaiah.



Xander, after about five or six seconds, turns into Isaiah and bulls him into the ropes. Isaiah is forced to break the hold, and Xander lands a big boot to the midsection, bending Isaiah over in pain. Xander then slings Isaiah across the ring, towards the opposite ring ropes. Isaiah bounces off, and ducks under a lariat. Coming off the other ring rope, he throws a wicked flying forearm smash, but barely budges Xander. Isaiah is undaunted, though, and, after a pause, throws himself off of the closest set of ring ropes, and attempts another forearm smash, but Xander, with astonishing speed, catches Isaiah with a power slam! The crowd yelps in response.



JOSEPH GREER: WOW! Big slam from the little monster.



Xander makes no attempt to get the straight jacket, though, quickly rising off of the prone Isaiah, and dropping an elbow. Then, again, and again, finally standing over the writhing Isaiah and looking at him with something akin to disgust. The crowd is cheering now loudly in response



BILLY FOWLER: Looks like Xander is going with what he does best….power and pain.



Xander is now picking up the hurting Isaiah, holding him up. A quick thrust to the neck, and Isaiah gags, trying to back off and gain some space between him and the monster, but Xander isn’t allowing it, following him into the corner, grasping his head, and head-butting him.



BILLY FOWLER: Isaiah is obviously in trouble.



Isaiah is reeling, and is being saved more abuse by the referee, who is breaking up the corner action, and giving Xander a talking-to. Xander nods once, and reaches for Isaiah, who ducks, and rolls away from the huge hands. Isaiah stands up in the middle of the ring, and Xander charges him. Isaiah suddenly drops, and leg-whips Xander to the mat! The *whap!* that Xander makes when he hits the canvas echoes through the arena, and Isaiah rolls over, engaging Xander with an octopus stretch. Xander’s eyes go wide with pain, and he reaches for the ropes, but they are six inches too far away.



As the referee looks on, and as the crowd continues to give their negative emotions vent towards Isaiah, he hauls back hard on one of the leg. Xander rises up in the push-up position, and begins to fight for that half foot. Isaiah grits his teeth in effort, but can’t keep the bigger man from reaching the ropes. The referee comes in, counts (rather quickly), and breaks the hold. Isaiah looks at the referee with abject hatred, and begins to land heavy kicks on the leg he was just holding, causing Xander to roll out of the ring, and hit the mats on the floor heavily.



JOSEPH GREER: On the floor now…this ought to be good…



Isaiah comes out of the ring himself, and pursues the monster. Catching up with the limping Xander, he lashes out, kicking him in the left knee, and causing it to buckle. Xander goes down on the pained leg, and Isaiah goes to it again, with heavy kicks.



BILLY FOWLER: Looks to me like the strategy is clear….Isaiah is trying to knock the bigger man’s base out…..you can’t stand with no legs….



Xander begins the arduous task of crawling away from the continuing assault from Isaiah, much to the disgust of the ring-side fans. The monster comes around the corner, near the Announcer’s Table. As Isaiah follows him, landing kick after kick to the upper part of his leg, Xander wraps his hand around the leg of a folding chair. Suddenly, without warning, he lifts the chair with that one hand, and blindly throws it behind him….it strikes Isaiah in the head, right above his eye, and he backs off, obviously in pain. The chair actually bounces off of Isaiah, and goes into the crowd, striking several fans.



BILLY FOWLER: Desperation move by Xander gets him a reprieve…..Oh….Isaiah is busted open! Isaiah is busted open!



JOSEPH GREER: Yes, the chair shot works in hurting Isaiah….Xander said he would make Isaiah bleed tonight…..



An angry swelling is becoming visible over the right eye of Isaiah, and blood is trickling down his face. He wipes at it, and looks at it with a smile….he looks up suddenly, but too late, as Xander hits him with a big boot in the face! The crowd ‘oohs’ as Isaiah is knocked backwards onto his back. Xander limps over to Isaiah, and picks him up, punching him in the face. Isaiah’s eyes go glassy, and Xander strikes again, knocking Isaiah out of his grip, and onto the floor.



JOSEPH GREER: He can’t win outside the ring, Billy!



As if on cue, Xander picks up the bleeding Isaiah and rolls him into the ring. He then climbs up onto the ring apron, but Isaiah suddenly lashes out with a kick, knocking the larger man’s legs out from underneath him, and Xander falls, striking his head on the apron, and sliding down to the floor! The fans cheer at Xander, as he instinctively reaches up for his head.



Isaiah struggles to his feet, unsteadily, and makes his way over to the corner. He climbs the corner, and crouches on the top rope, letting his head clear, and waiting for Xander to rise. After a few seconds, Xander rises, and looks up…just in time to hear the crowd ‘AAAHHH!” and to see Isaiah come off the top rope, down onto the monster with a huge corkscrew moonsault! Both wrestlers are propelled into the floor, with Isaiah bouncing off of Xander’s chest, and onto the floor.



BILLY FOWLER: Holy Cow!



Both of them are rolling on the ground in pain, and Isaiah gets up first, stumbling to the ring, and rolling weakly in. The referee looks at Isaiah, he points towards the straight jacket and begins to shout something at him. Isaiah approaches the referee, and looks at him with surprised rage. He shouts something back at him. The referee pushes Isaiah back, and points at his striped shirt, then points at the ramp.



JOSEPH GREER: Looks like the referee is telling Isaiah who’s in charge!



Suddenly, Isaiah shoots an arm out, and grabs the referee’s lapel! The first cheer of the match for him rises from the assembled, eager to see the referee get slapped. He frantically yells at Isaiah. Isaiah let’s go, backing into the neutral corner.



BILLY FOWLER: Oh that could have gone bad for him.



Xander is up now, and rolling into the ring. As he enters, Isaiah lands a boot to his left leg, and then hits a spinning toe hold on the left leg. He rises, and then, hits it again, this time holding the foot in the twisted position; until the referee breaks the hold…..Xander has the ropes. Isaiah angrily backs off, jawing at the referee the whole time. He retreats from Isaiah, and he follows, threateningly following him. As he does, Xander rises, limping badly now, and grabs Isaiah, spins him around, and grabs his throat! Choke slam! Isaiah is pounded to the canvas! The crowd cheers Xander, as he points to the fallen Isaiah, looking at the crowd as if to prove a point.



BILLY FOWLER: Isaiah is in real trouble here.



Xander limps over to get a ladder to get the straight jacket and lifts it up but as he turns Isaiah has unsteadily got to his feet, and leans back on the ring-ropes. Xander comes back in, and throws an elbow, which lands, and then he reaches back to throw a ham hock of a right hand, but it is blocked, and Isaiah fires back! The crowd comes to life as Isaiah works his way back into the fight, landing kick after kick to the head of Xander. Then, suddenly, out of nowhere he hits an uppercut on him. Xander lands heavily on his back, and Isaiah rolls over, pushes Xander over on his belly, and hooks in an arm bar. He is trying to lock his arm in place.



BILLY FOWLER: Isaiah is trying like mad to take Xander’s out, and Xander is trying to take Isaiah’s head off…which will happen first?



Xander does a push-up, groaning in agony. He hand-walks toward the ropes, dragging Isaiah. Xander lunges and gets the ropes. The referee makes Isaiah break the move.



BILLY FOWLER: What power by Xander.



JOSEPH GREER: Isaiah has hit him with a few of his big moves.



Isaiah moves in but Xander buys himself some space with a kick to Isaiah’s knee. Xander stands using the ropes as leverage. Isaiah comes in more cautiously this time. Xander goes for a spear but Isaiah catches him with a snap DDT. Isaiah goes to the outside and grabs a steel chair. Xander is still down as Isaiah climbs to the top of the turnbuckle. Isaiah leaps off intending to drive the chair into Xander, but he rolls out of the way just in time.



JOSEPH GREER: A desperate move by Xander.



Isaiah hits the mat hard. Xander gets to his feet and hits him with a leg drop to the back of his neck. He picks Isaiah up, and whips him to the ropes. Isaiah bounces off the ropes and Xander catches him into a Falcon Arrow Driver ONTO THE STEEL CHAIR.



BILLY FOWLER: OMG!!



Xander goes over to the corner and tries to get some air. He seems to be talking to someone. He turns and see’s Isaiah getting back up. Xander shrugs and nods at something. He climbs the ropes. Xander wastes no time coming off the second rope with a flying double axe handle. He picks Isaiah up and hits him with a Brain buster on top of the chair. Isaiah screams at Xander and slowly sits up.



BILLY FOWLER: Where is Isaiah getting this reserve of strength?



JOSEPH GREER: That is why he is here in RSW.



Frustrated, Xander tries a different tactic. He drops to a knee and applies a Dragon Sleeper hold. Isaiah is trying to fight the hold with everything he has left, but it is not enough. After an agonizingly long time, Isaiah goes limp. Xander keeps the hold locked for a while longer, then releases the now semiconscious Isaiah and turns back to his corner. He starts talking again.



BILLY FOWLER: Who’s he talking too?



JOSEPH GREER: Isaiah’s back up!! How is he doing this?



Xander turns and sees this. He charges in and the two lock up and Isaiah quickly performs a go-behind and snares a hammerlock on Xander. Xander ducks down and ends up behind Isaiah. He grabs Isaiah in a side headlock and then steps into his knee, forcing Isaiah down. Isaiah escapes the hold and drops to his stomach, taking Xander down with drop toehold and then quickly applying a headlock as he lies on the mat. Xander slips out and gets to his feet just as Isaiah does at the same time. The crowd applauds.



BILLY FOWLER: Excellent wrestling sequence there, but how can both be still standing?



JOSEPH GREER: No doubt.



Isaiah runs at Xander for a clothesline, but Xander ducks under it and drop kicks Isaiah out of the ring. Isaiah lands on his feet but he’s quickly taken down as Xander launches himself onto Isaiah with a pescado. Both of them lie on the floor for several seconds, but it’s Xander who stirs first. He walks over to a stack of chairs and grabs one. He sets it up and then grabs another, leaving it in the folded position. As Isaiah gets to his feet, Xander takes a running start, leaps up onto the chair he set up first and then jumps off, bringing the second chair crashing down onto Isaiah’s skull.



BILLY FOWLER: Good God! Did you hear that?!



JOSEPH GREER: What a sickening thud…for Isaiah! Haha!



Xander grabs a ladder and throws it into the ring. He starts to climb in, but grabs one of the tables at ringside and slides it in as well. Isaiah drags himself to his feet using the guard rail as Xander slides back in. Xander sets up the table and then the ladder. Isaiah rolls back into the ring as Xander begins to ascend the ladder and jumps on the table. He yells out Xander’s name and Xander turns to see him standing there. Isaiah leaps off the table and extends his legs for a dropkick, knocking both Xander and the ladder over.



BILLY FOWLER: Nice move by Isaiah! He’s quick on his feet, Joseph.



JOSEPH GREER: Bah! Xander OWNS Isaiah!



Isaiah quickly spots Xander getting to his feet and hits him right on the chin with a super kick. He eyes one of the chairs at ringside and rolls out to grab it. Isaiah climbs up top from the apron with the chair in hand. As Xander stands up, Isaiah leaps off the top rope with the chair but Xander drops down at the last moment and the chair doesn’t connect. Xander stands up quickly but Isaiah throws the chair at him. Xander catches it on instinct and Isaiah dropkicks it into his face. Xander staggers back, stunned, but does not go down. Isaiah takes him down with a snap ddt and then grabs the ladder.



BILLY FOWLER: It looks like Isaiah’s ready to make a run at the straight jacket now.



JOSEPH GREER: C’mon, Xander, you can’t let that chump beat you!



Isaiah climbs up the ladder as Xander struggles to stand up. Suddenly Isaiah looks over his shoulder at Xander and then leaps back for a corkscrew moonsault. The crowd pops huge as the move connects but the cheers turn to louder cheers as Xander manages to catch Isaiah and then gives him a running power slam and drives him through the table.



BILLY FOWLER: Holy…! I can’t believe it! Isaiah’s moonsault attempt has seriously backfired!



JOSEPH GREER: Xander rules baby!



Xander rolls out of the ring and grabs two of the six foot ladders, sliding them into the ring. He then grabs another table and slides it in as well. He starts to climb in but then grabs yet another table and slides it in as well.



BILLY FOWLER: What the heck is Xander up to?



JOSEPH GREER: I don’t know, but I have a feeling Isaiah’s going to be really hurting after this.



Xander rams Isaiah’s head into the turnbuckle, keeping him disoriented. He then sets up the two ladders and maneuverers one of the tables onto them, forming a bridge. He grabs the second table and sets it up beneath the bridge.



BILLY FOWLER: Oh my…this does not look healthy for either of them.



Xander grabs Isaiah and uses a vertical suplex to put Isaiah atop the table/ladder bridge. He then climbs up with him and signals to the crowd that he’s going to finish Isaiah off. He grabs Isaiah and pulls him up into a standing head scissors. The crowd comes to their feet as Xander positions himself to power bomb Isaiah through the lower table.



JOSEPH GREER: Xander is going to kill Isaiah!! All in the name of the name of RSW. It may be Halloween show but…….



The crowd pops huge as Xander lifts Isaiah up for the power bomb; the cheers grow even louder as Isaiah suddenly shifts his weight in mid-air, turning the power bomb into a hurricanrana, sending Xander crashing through the table with a deafening crack of the wooden table.



BILLY FOWLER: OH MY GOD!!! Xander’s attempt was reversed in mid-freaking-air by Isaiah!! Both of them are down!!



JOSEPH GREER: How in the HELL did he do that?! I mean, it’s just not even humanly possible!!



Both wrestlers lie on the mat motionless as the crowd stamps their feet and claps theirs hands, cheering all the while. The referee checks on both of them and signals to the camera that they seem to be okay. Isaiah gets to his feet first and pulls Xander up. He drops him again with a snap DDT and then looks out at the crowd, eliciting extremely loud cheers. Isaiah quickly steps out onto the apron and leaps up onto the top rope. Flash bulbs pop all over the arena as Isaiah leaps and connects with a forearm smash on Xander.



JOSEPH GREER: He connected!



Isaiah stands up and sets a ladder up under the straight jacket. He begins to climb it but halfway up he clutches at his ribs.



BILLY FOWLER: Uh oh…it looks like Isaiah may have injured his ribs on that move.



JOSEPH GREER: He should be broken after what he’s done to him.



Xander stands up, also clutching his ribs and his eyes widen upon spying Isaiah climbing up the ladder. He takes a step forward, but then drops to one knee as his ribs twinge. Up on the ladder, Isaiah stops momentarily as well. Xander sees this and quickly strides over to Isaiah. He turns to face the crowd and then reaches up and grabs Isaiah by the waist. He pulls Isaiah down into a sit down power bomb. Isaiah’s head bounces off the mat as a result of the move and he appears out of it.



BILLY FOWLER: Isaiah’s down again!!



JOSEPH GREER: Yeah. Yeah!!



Xander starts to climb the ladder, but then looks down at Isaiah lying on the mat. He pulls Isaiah up onto his shoulders in a fireman’s carry and then drives him into the canvas with a Death Valley Driver.



BILLY FOWLER: OMG!!



JOSEPH GREER: It is sooooo payback time, Isaiah!!



Xander grabs a chair, rams it into Isaiah’s ribs, and then lays it on top of him. He then rolls out of the ring and grabs a twelve foot ladder and brings it into the ring. He sets the ladder up and then begins to climb it. Just as he reaches the top, Xander looks down at Isaiah and gives the thumbs down to the crowd. Xander leaps from the ladder and nails a Senton Splash on him.



BILLY FOWLER: He connects!! It’s always interesting to see the little big man fly.



JOSEPH GREER: He’s flattened him.



BILLY FOWLER: Not so fast, Joseph. Xander jumped right onto that chair, so he took a good deal of punishment himself! Wait…I don’t believe it! Isaiah is up!!



Isaiah stands up, revealing the cut by his eye bleeding. The camera pans down to reveal that Xander is busted open more as well.



JOSEPH GREER: Oh man! They must have cracked heads somehow when Xander landed!



BILLY FOWLER: I think they did, Joseph.



Isaiah begins climbing the ladder as quickly as he can, but must stop every couple of steps to wipe the blood from his eyes. The crowd boo as Isaiah nears the top. Isaiah steps on the third to last rung and begins reaching for the straight jacket. Suddenly the crowd begins cheering as Xander is seen climbing up on the opposite side. Isaiah reaches down and swats at Xander, but Xander catches his hand and shoves Isaiah backward. Isaiah grabs onto the ladder and maintains his vantage point. Xander levels up with Isaiah and the two begin trading lefts and rights. Xander is stunned by a stinging jab from Isaiah. Isaiah reaches back for a roundhouse but suddenly Xander ducks under it, grabs Isaiah by the neck, and throws him off the ladder, with Isaiah’s throat connecting with the top rope.



BILLY FOWLER: Isaiah’s down!! Isaiah’s down!!



JOSEPH GREER: Yes yes!!!



Xander climbs up one more rung and then reaches up to retrieve the straight jacket. In an amazing feat of stamina and determination, Isaiah manages to crawl back over to the ladder and push it over, sending Xander out of the ring and through a table at ringside.



JOSEPH GREER: Dammit!! No!! How does he keep getting up?!



BILLY FOWLER: It’s called heart, Joseph!



Both Isaiah and Xander are out of it but struggling to come around. Xander drags himself back into the ring under the bottom rope. Across the ring, Isaiah begins setting up one of the ladders and Xander does the same after a few moments. They begin to climb up and once again meet each other, this time on the separate ladders. Isaiah gains the advantage and places Xander in a front face lock.



BILLY FOWLER: What’s Isaiah going for here?!



Isaiah then signals for a tornado DDT, but suddenly Xander shifts his weight and throws Isaiah off of him. Isaiah right leg ends up tangled in the ropes and he struggles to get loose as Xander sneers down at him, looks up at the jacket and grabs it and drags it down to the mat.



BILLY FOWLER: Now for the interesting time.



As he drags it over to Isaiah he is continuing to talk to someone. Isaiah is still trying to get his foot lose. The referee is trying to help him get lose. Xander pushes the referee out of the way and goes to grab Isaiah but he hits him with a barrage of elbows as he’s worked his way loose. Xander covers up and limps backwards holding his head. He looks down at the straight jacket. He grabs it and approaches Xander only to be met with the Patriot Bomb.



BILLY FOWLER: Oh my god! He’s hit it! He’s hit him with the Patriot Bomb! He’s down.



JOSEPH GREER: Not many people can get out of that move. It’s all over for Isaiah.



Xander sits astride Isaiah. He pulls the jacket onto the unconscious Isaiah and twists his arms into place. He rolls him over and tightens the buckles pulling his arms into position and locks it in. He looks down at the unconscious Isaiah and smiles sadistically.



JOSEPH GREER: Oh he’s done it. He’s won the match!!



Xander stands up and looks at something. He starts talking again but then clutches his head. His eyes glaze over as he falls forward onto the mat.



JOSEPH GREER: What? What’s happened?



The referee checks on Xander and a shocked look crossed his face. He motions for the EMT’s to come out.



BILLY FOWLER: It seems serious.



EMT’s come running down the ramp way. They roll into the ring, the doctor going straight for Xander as the referee starts to unbuckle Isaiah.



JOSEPH GREER: It’s seems that Xander has actually lost consciousness and the doctors will be taking him to a local medical centre.



BILLY FOWLER: It proves that you shouldn’t do any of this at home. Leave it for the professionals. I hope Xander will be alright.



The referee is helping Isaiah out of the ring and up the ramp way as more EMT’s run past them. They put Xander on a backboard and strap him down. They lift him through the ropes and put him on the stretcher. They push him up the ramp way and pass through the curtain. The crowd is really quiet. They head backstage and passed some of the roster members. They are all quiet too. The EMT’s push through to the car park and load him onto an ambulance.



BILLY FOWLER: If we get any word from the hospital we will let you know.



JOSEPH GREER: On another note, here comes Tommy.

[vastrix]

“Governed By Contagions” hits the speakers to signal Isaiah Zepp’s entrance into the contest, which garners mostly cheers from his loyal fanbase in Washington state. The song continues for a moment until a platform rolls through the curtain carrying what appears to be a person-sized bottle of syrup, although the back is facing the crowd.



TOMMY ONIONS: Okay Greer, I know Zepp’s all about the artsy fartsy symbolism, so what the heck is this?



JOSEPH GREER: Not exactly sure, but I do know Knucks has been calling Isaiah “Mrs. Butterworth” in their arguments online.



Finally, a figure comes to push the platform to the center of the entryway, and it’s Isaiah wearing a pristine black suit, a spotted black tie, and a fake pencil-thin mustache. He also has a microphone.



ISAIAH ZEPP: I have a dream!



The crowd immediately recognize this as an ode to Martin Luther King Jr., although some of the pro-military fans begin a boo.



ISAIAH ZEPP: I have a dream that one day all the young fans of RSW won’t have to settle for mediocre champions! I have a dream that one day we are not bogged down by corrupt and feeble-minded management! I have a dream that all men are judged only by their skill and virtue instead of the slander of politicians! Let freedom ring, in every ring!



Zepp spins the platform around, showing that the giant bottle of Mrs. Butterworth’s syrup has the face of Anthony “Knucks” Stevenson, complete with a ragged mophead for hair.



ISAIAH ZEPP: And I have a dream that one day Knucks and his crew will be excised like the tumors they are, because they think they’re awoken, but in reality they will be…



He picks a sledgehammer and takes a high swing, shattering the head.



ISAIAH ZEPP: Broken! This nightmare of their bullshit will fade away, and we’ll be free at last! Free at last! Good lord almighty, free at last!

[vastrix]

JOSEPH GREER: Folks, I’m told that we have something special for you tonight…It seems we’re going to…uuumm….Am I reading this correctly? Were going to have a debate and a vote?



TOMMY ONIONS: Yes we are! And with every good debate there needs to be a damn good moderator to make sure that everything goes smoothly. I heard this guy is a real celebrity…



JOSEPH GREER: So? ….whos the moderator?



TOMMY ONIONS: Well, none other than ME, of course!!!



JOSEPH GREER: Oh God, …this can’t be good….



Tommy stood up from the announcers table and took the mic with him as he walked into the ring where three podiums stood, all with the same eyeball logo on it. He quieted the crowd as he paced the ring and spoke…



TOMMY ONIONS: Ladies and gentlemen, tonight we have a very important decision to make….Tonight, we are going to hear from three men. I’m going to question them, I’m going to grill them, I’m going to make their lives hell tonight. We’ll see who sweats over the personal details of their lives and we’ll see who has what it takes…to be…..the leader….of…..AWOKEN!!!!!



The lights in the arena flashed and music shook the concrete walls of the stadium as three men walked down the ramp. Erik Black, Anthony “Knucks” Stevenson and Salem Shepard. The crowd exploded in a mixed reaction of cheers and boos. Salem and Knucks waved at fans and drooled over every nice set of tits in the front row. Erik adjusted his jacket and dusted his sleeves as he slid in to the ring with the Anarchy belt proudly around his waist. He showed off the belt to the fans as the other two stepped into the ring and took their positions at the podiums. Knucks on the left, Salem in the middle, and Erik on the right. Tommy motioned for the crowd to quiet again…



TOMMY ONIONS: I give you….AWOKEN!!!!!! (Tommy smiled and waited for the crowd to settle) As you may know, these 3 men have decided to form a very odd alliance this week, and if I was the RSW roster I wouldn’t be too pleased to see this group of newcomers standing side by side in the ring. Their talent CANNOT be questioned …although their morals definitely can….But you can’t deny the impact they have made on the RSW in only their short time here; this is a group that looks poised to take over the wrestling world and make it their own. But with every good group, it needs a great leader. One of these three men will be the leader of Awoken and it’s MY job to carefully question them and determine which of these RSW Superstars is the right fit for leader in their newly formed stable! Are we ready!!???



The crowd let out a roar of approval as Tommy Onions was brought a chair to sit in and was handed several note cards.



TOMMY ONIONS: Ok, gentlemen, how are you all today?



KNUCKS: I’m good, bro.



SALEM: HIII…..PICK ME!!! PICK ME, ASSHOLE!!!!!



ERIK: Lets get this show on the road, I got pussy and powder waiting on me….



TOMMY ONIONS: Ok guys, Im glad we could be here tonight to select a leader for your new alliance. I think the first thing a lot of people would like to know is: What would you do if you found a bag full of money, let say a million dollars, and it belonged to a elder woman who would be homeless without it….Would you keep it? …Or would you give it back to her? Salem, go first.



SALEM: Yeah, I should be the leader.



TOMMY ONIONS: No, Salem, I need you to answer the question…



SALEM: I OBJECT YOUR HONOR!!!!! ….Ok, listen Judge, I didn’t steal a goddamn thing from that old lady. You can charge me if you want, but I didn’t do shit.. I’m like OJ, …INNOCENT AS FUCK!!!



TOMMY ONIONS: No, Salem…If you found the money – would you keep it or give it back?”



SALEM: Ooohh, ok, I see!! Sorry!!! Well, I would…uuummm….I would keep it, of course!! What kind of fucking idiot doesn’t keep a million dollars if he finds it? Only a real fuckin loser would turn it in and someone like that needs to be curb stomped. It’s an old lady, so what!? Shes gonna die before long anyway so just box her up in her coffin already, jeez!! ….You don’t keep an old wounded dog, do you?



TOMMY ONIONS: So, lets say Knucks broke his leg in a match – you would leave him behind like an old wounded dog? …that’s not the trait of a good leader, Im afraid…. Well, that’s disappointing.. Anyway, Knucks, if you found the million dollars would you keep it, or return it to the elder woman?



SALEM: Knucks would fuck her in the ass and then shit in her sink…..That’s what Knucks would do..



KNUCKS: I aint fucking no old lady in the ass they are always backed up and i aint ramming dicks with a rock hard turd missile. I would shit in the sink but that’s just normal right? I am the best leader because i have the best hair.



TOMMY ONIONS: Well, Knucks, I don’t think that is normal and I’m not sure that’s a great trait of a leader either. Mr. Black, What would you do in this scenario?



ERIK: Does this old lady have teeth? If she gave me a Gummer hummer, I might give it back. Wait. No. Fuck her. I hate old people.



TOMMY ONIONS: I’m not sure that’s a worthy answer, either, Erik….Ok, moving along to our next question….If you were the leader of Awoken and you had to pick one of your teammates to get a Title shot, would you pick yourself – or would you carefully vet the situation and give it to one of your teammates that isn’t the leader? Erik, would you go first?



ERIK: Holy. Fucking. Shit. Did you write that stupid shit yourself? Your mother’s a whore. I’d get my cock sucked, take the title shot, and skull fuck the old lady from that first dumbass question.



TOMMY ONIONS: That’s about what I’d expect from you. Knuck’s? What would you do?



KNUCKS: I mean why would I need a title shot given to me… I am hours away from holding the tag titles. But if someone wants to offer me a shot I am taking it. I am the Michael Jordan of the team. I mean, i am from Chicago, so why wouldn’t it be?



TOMMY ONIONS: Yes, you and Jordan have a lot in common… How much did you say i am getting paid to do this? So Salem you have any better answers to this question shouldn’t be hard to beat.?



SALEM: What kind of question is that!? If I had a Title shot offered to me, why would I give it to someone else? This is more dumb than your first question….You act like I’m gonna turn away a million bucks and a Title shot!? Fuck you think this is, Salem on his meds? That {Mongo Edit: Nah we don't say that anymore} might turn away money and gold, but helllllllll no, I aint doing that!! These guys to the sides of me, they might be my boys, but if I have a chance at gold, Im taking it….Sorry I’m not sorry!!!



TOMMY ONIONS: If you were the leader, would you lead from the front or from the back?



SALEM: Eeww nooo, I’m not taking anything from behind. That’s, ..pretty gay.



KNUCKS: Yeah, there’s no homo rules here in Awoken.



ERIK: Just move on to the next question, fuckchops..



TOMMY ONIONS: Ok, yeah, let’s just skip that question guys…



KNUCKS: Ask it fucker I have midgets to talk to …let’s get this done.



TOMMY ONIONS: So if you was leader of Awoken who would be the first target?



ERIK: Target? What happened to that homeless old bitch? She could get a job at Target …. That way she wouldn’t be a drain on society. Fuck a target. And fuck you for asking this stupid shit. You’re lucky I’m getting my dick sucked behind this podium right now.



TOMMY ONIONS: Can I have a turn behind your podium too? I told you this guy likes to party.



KNUCKS: Well Damn my target would be the back of those sexy little midgets asses… You ever see what a 10 inch dick looks like on a midgets ass.. It looks like a giant fucking baseball bat. I went hunting once with my foster dad and the fucker got mad because he said i had to shoot the target …apparently he meant after it was out of his hand. Fucker should have been more clear on his instruction.



TOMMY ONIONS: Yeah I don’t think I would want you to hold a gun around me. I don’t think your dick size makes you a leader or not… please god, Salem? Anything?



SALEM: Yeah, I’ve been to Target before!!! I like it better than Walmart. Check this out!!! When ‘Salem on his meds’ was a kid, he blocked me out and kept me locked away but I could still talk to him and that dumb fuck would do ANYTHING I told him to do. So we were at Walmart and I told him to take all his clothes off and put a sock on his dick and run around screaming the manager was trying to molest him….I was just trying to get free video games, but instead we got kicked out and banned from Walmart, so I prefer Target these days. Have you ever tried to jack off and hit the center circle of the Target logo? …..good times….



TOMMY ONIONS: Is the glass half empty or half full?



ERIK: lolfgt.



SALEM: If Knucks is around that means the glass is completely empty….I took a piss test once, but I didn’t fill it halfway….Does that count?



ERIK: What glass? Knuck’s probably shit in it after stealing it.



KNUCKS: I like to make my drink with a lot of alcohol and splash of juice or something. My glass goes from full to empty i am not fucking sipping shit. And speaking of shit, why would i shit in a glass… you fucking idiots.



TOMMY ONIONS: I don’t think you guys understand the question…



SALEM: No, sounds like you don’t understand the answers……



ERIK: Holy shit this guy is {Mongo Edit: Nah we don't say that anymore}. Did Armond Von Shitsinhispants find you at a fucking group home for retards? Fucking hell.



KNUCKS: If you have a vote I want you to know I am your guy – so vote for me.



TOMMY ONIONS: I don’t have a vote…



KNUCKS: Then FUCK YOU!



TOMMY ONIONS: I don’t have a vote because I’m the one making the decision!!!



KNUCKS: Oh …I meant to say I love you.. NO HOMO though!



TOMMY ONIONS: Speed round!!!! Quick answers only on this next question. Corn Dogs or Hot Dogs?



SALEM: What the fuck does that have to do with being a leader!? Is this more gay stuff? we said no homo!!!! That’s Rule Number…..uuummm…number two I think….. I prefer my dog wrapped though, so I guess corn dog?



KNUCKS: Fuck you… Chicago dogs are the only way to eat them… you idiots all over this country eat them wrong. The clown likes corn dogs, go figure…. And Erik Black likes Coke on his dog. But none of this has to do with why I am a better leader.



ERIK: So you’re a gay {Mongo Edit: Nah we don't say that anymore}? I don’t eat food shaped like dick.



TOMMY ONIONS: Ok, ok….This isnt going like I thought it would. Can you guys give us a closing statement please? Knucks, can you go first?



KNUCKS: Ok, Sure!! When I am selected to be the President of Awoken I promise to put walls keeping the fuck boys like Shane, Rob, Francine, and the rest of the low lifes out of Awoken. I am going to make those idiots pay for the wall…



TOMMY ONIONS: Oooooo-k Trump.



KNUCKS: Nah he wanted me to say I would grab those Pussies but this is a family show… So I didn’t want to go into all of that…. I may be younger than these two others but I am not even sure Salem is American… the guy is always painting his face… what is he trying to hide? Erik Black might as well be Erik Clinton… disagree with the guy or get in the way and you are found dead. So yeah it’s time to drain the swamp and make Knucks your President.



TOMMY ONIONS: I, uuhh, …..I don’t even know what to say to that. Erik could you go next please?



ERIK BlACK: I should be the leader because I’m not a {Mongo Edit: Fuck Off}. Frank Windsor. Is he pre-op or post-op. Vote for me…



TOMMY ONIONS: Well, that was worse than Knucks’ closing statement. That was really short, is there anything you would like to add, Erik?



ERIK: Yeah, go fuck yourself.



TOMMY ONIONS: Whatever….Salem? Do you have anything stupid to say? Er, uh, I mean, …we need your closing statement.



SALEM: Yes, your Honor. I would like to conclude that I did not kill that child and I did not put three pieces of tape over her mouth, nor did I dump her body in the brush by Orlando. I will say, that her mom, Casey Anthony, is fiiiiiiine as fuck. She got that sexy, crazy little look in her eye that makes your dick tingle….and puts a little fear in your heart as well cause you don’t know if she’s trying to smother you when shes sitting on your face. I will say, she fucks better than she kills though.



TOMMY ONIONS: What in the holy hell does Casey Anthony have to do with you being the Leader of Awoken?



SALEM: Oh……Uuuummm, I thought I was on trial cause I fucked that bitch around the time she killed her kid, or, well, I mean, ‘when her kid went missing.’ That bitch got off free but she never returned my call when she got out of jail…..fuckin slut…. Anyway, that’s why I should be the leader of Awoken. You know anyone else brave enough to fuck a child killer? I mean, I was willing to give my life for that pussy – so I would give my life for these guys. ….well, I doubt it, honestly… You should pick me because I’m the best here. I’m the best at coloring hair, Im the best at painting faces and I’m the best at fucking murderers. Soooo, pick me!!!!!



TOMMY ONIONS: I’m not sure what just happened here tonight, and I’m not sure ANY of you are qualified to be the leader of other men. I would have to say that this newly formed stable, Awoken, doesn’t have anyone with leadership capabilities.



SALEM: You know what? ….We don’t need a leader. Why would be need one anyway? Were not your typical group of wrestlers, so why would we be your typical stable? …Were gonna be different.



ERIK: You fuckin right we are, cause I’m not following orders from either one of you two weirdos….



KNUCKS: Sounds good to me! …I kinda wanted to be Trump though, but I guess we don’t need a leader!!



JOSEPH GREER: Thanks Tommy, thanks for that train wreck of a segment…..can we just get on with the show please? Jesus, we’re gonna get our TV right revoked because of these three rejects….Anyway, on with the show!!!

[vastrix]

BOB MOONEY: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is a special ‘broomstick on a pole’ match!



JOSEPH GREER: Here we go with one of the more unusual matches on tonight’s card.



BILLY FOWLER: Unusual is sort of what we do here in RSW, but as a former RSW Tagteam Champion, the more interesting aspect of this match is we’re seeing two first time teams facing each other!



TOMMY ONIONS: What are you talking about?! Parsons and Anderson have been a team for months now.



BOB MOONEY: This match will have a broomstick suspended above the ring. Once retrieved; it can be used as a weapon!



JOSEPH GREER: On paper sure, but Fowler is right…this is their first official match together.



TOMMY ONIONS: For real? I’ll be damned, then what have they been doing all these months?



BILLY FOWLER: That part we don’t know yet, but let’s hope it’s been working on their teamwork because they are facing two very decorated singles competitors…



JOSEPH GREER: I couldn’t agree more Billy, Havok and Erickson May not have teamed together but between them have held every title the company has to offer. No small test for any team!



BOB MOONEY: Introducing first, our special referee for this contest…Andi Snow!



“No Tears Left to Cry” by Ariana Grande hits the speakers as Andi Snow’s promo reel cues up on the RioTron. Baby blue and lavender spotlights swirl around the arena. The crowd begins to cheer for a moment and then erupt into a full on frenzy as Andi makes her way out onto the stage in her costume.



TOMMY ONIONS: Sweet Jesus! I think that I could die and get a spanking.



JOSEPH GREER: How does that make any sense?



TOMMY ONIONS: I’m sorry, all my blood is going to my penis right now.



BILLY FOWLER: I have to agree.



JOSEPH GREER: Why are you looking at his penis to agree?



BILLY FOWLER: I’m not saying that. Don’t make me leave again!



Andi is outfitted as a sort of dominatrix in a pair of black latex high heeled boots that ended mid thigh, a pair of extremely tiny black leather shorts with zippers up both sides of her hips. A black leather corset cinched her waist in while barely containing her bust. Black latex gloves covered her hands and arms all the way up to her elbow, and a diamond studded choker wrapped around her neck. Instead of her usual playful ponytail, Andi’s long brown highlighted hair was down in a beachy, somewhat messy “after sex” style and black aviator glasses covered her otherwise icy blue eyes.



As Andi walks further onto the stage, it becomes apparent that she’s holding onto what appears to be a long chain. Whatever what was on the end of the chain remained backstage. Upon reaching the edge of the stage, Andi stops just short of the ramp leading to the ring where it appears that the chain had run out of slack. Andi places one hand on her hip impatiently, a stern expression on her face, before tugging at the chain with her other hand.



TOMMY ONIONS: What do you think is on the other side of the chain?



BILLY FOWLER: We’re about to find out real quick.



Seconds later, a man is seen walking…no…crawling out onto the stage on all fours…with a collar around his neck connected to the chain wrapped around Andi’s fist. Andi snaps her fingers and the man hurriedly crawls to her side before standing up on his knees and panting like a dog.



The crowd erupts in more cheers and laughter, as they become aware that the mystery man bares a certain likeness to certain RSW personality. With a headset and mic resting on his head, the man was dressed in a pair of dingey board shorts and a white t-shirt that had yellow sweat stains at the armpits and the word “#OnionsNation” spelled out across the chest in black lettering.



TOMMY ONIONS: What the fuck is this?



JOSEPH GREER: Looks like you!



BILLY FOWLER: Oh my. He does look like you, Tommy.



TOMMY ONIONS: Oh go hide backstage again!



Andi smirks after receiving the crowds reaction, before reaching in between her cleavage and pulling out a doggy snack which she promptly dropped into the hungry mouth of the eager Tommy Onions impersonator.



After patting him on the head like the “good boy” he was, Andi made her way down the ramp with the Tommy Onion’s impersonator in tow on all fours. Once Andi climbed the ring steps, she waited as the man hurried onto the ring apron, holding the middle rope down so that Andi could make her way into the ring.



Once inside the ring, Andi holds her free hand into the air to wave at the crowd and show off her outfit. The impersonator follows Andi into the ring and she orders him to stand up.



With her free hand, Andi reaches once more into her corset and pulls out a pocket knife. Flipping it open, Andi grips the imitation Tommy Onions by the shirt, slicing it with the knife and then ripping the shirt off of him to reveal a less than flattering figure; the word ‘PIG’ spray painted across his belly. This garners more cheers from the crowd.



TOMMY ONIONS: I am no pig. I’m her biggest fucking fan! The audfuckingacity of that bitch!



JOSEPH GREER: It’s hilarious!



As if that wasn’t humiliating enough, Andi drops the knife and motions with her free hand toward the man’s lower half. Faux Tommy Onions pouts, which only makes Andi more adamant. After a moment of feigned apprehension, the actor grabs hold of his waistband and drops his board shorts down to his ankles.



Now, while it’s obvious that the man is wearing a flesh colored bodysuit underneath his clothes at this point, Andi’s intention became loud and clear when it was revealed that the body suit was “anatomically correct” in that it had a teenie tiny little penis attached at the crotch, practically hidden beneath a messy mound of what one can only assume is fake public hair.



BILLY FOWER: You sure that isn’t you? Sure seems like you.



TOMMY ONIONS: Mine is much bigger than that! You would feel like it’s real big when it’s stuck in your asshole!



BILLY FOWLER: Try it, little man. You’ll be snapped into two pieces.



At this point the crowd is hysterical. Fake Tommy Onions hangs his head in shame as Andi shakes her head in disgusts and mouthes the word “Pathetic.” She then snaps her fingers at the man again to get his attention before telling him to “assume the position.”



Fake Tommy begrudgingly bends over. Andi gathers enough of the chain in her hand before reeling back and *SMACK*…she strikes him on the ass. The man cries out in pain as Andi spanks him twice, and then a third time with the chain before disconnecting and dropping it. Fake Tommy drops to the mat and rolls out of the ring, dragging the chain behind him. He runs up the ramp, acting embarrassed and cowardly, while covering his fake little peener before disappearing backstage.



TOMMY ONIONS: I do the speaking, bitch!



JOSEPH GREER: Looks like she did the spanking.



BILLY FOWLER: Did she get a mold of your little onion while you were sleeping?



Back in the ring, Andi struts around the ring with her hands raised, taking in the crowd reaction. She then turns to face the real Tommy Onions and blows him a kiss before her music fades and she takes her place, leaning against one of the turnbuckles while laughing.



TOMMY ONIONS: God damnit! She woulda had two handfuls if she had! She won’t be hearing the end of this!



BILLY FOWLER: I’m sure she will hear from you. Vengeance is it?



JOSEPH GREER: We’re going to take a quick break as Fowler decides if he’s going to be with us for the next match or not.



Coming back from commercial; fans are still going nuts(pardon the pun) for Andi and her choice of costume.



JOSEPH GREER: Welcome back RSW fans, to what has been yet another wild night here on Anarchy! The Halloween spirit is in full effect tonight as Special Guest Referee Andi Snow has kept the crowd’s spirits high during the break, but now it’s time to get to it!



TOMMY ONIONS: I’ve certainly had enough…



BILLY FOWLER: *laughing* Said no bird you’ve been with ever!



As the music dies; the RioTron goes black. Slowly the words ‘Massacre Maker’ appear to bleed through the screen as the giant former RSW World Heavyweight Champion steps through the curtain to appear atop the entrance ramp.



BOB MOONEY: Introducing first; from Sudbury, Ontario Canada…weighing in at three hundred and seventy six pounds…he is ‘The Massacre Maker’….Dylan Erickson!!!



TOMMY ONIONS: Boring! I’ve never understood why Erickson never uses music…what a snooze fest!



Looking around the arena; the former RSW World Heavyweight Champion takes the split reaction in stride, his long time associations having long ago branded him in the eyes of the fans.



Walking the entrance ramp, the giant Erickson pays no heed to outstretched hands of fans or shouts and hisses from haters.



Reaching the ring, Erickson steps over the top rope with ease to pace the ring as he awaits his partner.



‘Demonoid Phenomenon’ by Rob Zombie pounds out through the entrance ramp, even though they now firmly boo him, it’s clear the RSW fans respect the decorated RSW veteran.



BOB MOONEY: And his partner…from Manchester, England…weighing in at two hundred and twenty four pounds…Havok!



Instead of Havok, two uniformed prison guards in full riot gear step through the curtain.



JOSEPH GREER: What’s this now?



TOMMY ONIONS: As long as it’s not another hurtful and unprovoked attack at this guy…I can honestly say I don’t give fuck.



BILLY FOWLER: Well given the music’s still playing, I’ll guess this is part of Eddie’s entrance for the evening.



Seemingly pleased with their ‘security sweep’, they disappear back behind the curtain.



Soon they return, toting a prisoner wearing a worn and stained orange prison jumpsuit. The sleeves appear to have been torn off, shreds of them remain; a black hood covers his head.



Hand cuffed and shackled; the prisoner shuffled slowly toward the end of the stage to stand atop the ramp to the ring.



Two more guards step out behind them, bringing up the rear.



Finally removing the hood, Havok is wearing a mask…



JOSEPH GREER: Wow…I think we’re about to get cancelled…



TOMMY ONIONS: Is that supposed to be…



A huge boost of cheers and laughter is followed by the disapproval of more than a fair share of the crowd.



BILLY FOWLER: *laughing heartily* Donald Trump with the LGBTQ rainbow on his forehead! Yes…and I love it!



Walking to the ring, just for tonight Eddie is giving high fives to supporters and flipping off detractors.



Reaching the ringside area, he takes the mask off, throwing it to the ground before rolling into the ring to stand with his partner.



DYLAN ERICKSON: The way you pander to them really is sad. You know that deep down don’t you?



JOSEPH GREER: Here we go, the match isn’t even underway and it’s clear these two are not on the same page.



Andi Snow comes over to both men and reminds them who’s in charge.



ANDI SNOW: Look boys, just listen to me when I tell you to do something and we’ll all be happier…k?



Turning on her heel and strutting away, maybe it’s the tone of her voice, stern yet playful. Maybe it’s the dominatrix outfit, but both men pose no argument.



BILLY FOWLER: If all referees looked like that, imagine the ratings! Wow, Andi has my vote for best costume!



A huge thump of bass echoes throughout the arena as ‘Believer’ by Imagine Dragons reverberates through the arena sound system.



JOSEPH GREER: Looks like the next entrant is this costume contest is none other than RSW minority owner and Hall of Famer Chris Parsons.



BILLY FOWLER: Hall of Famer…pffft! He cheated to get in!



JOSEPH GREER: At least he admitted it in his acceptance speech…



As the song kicks in fully, there is still no sign of ‘The Nightmare’ which is perhaps all that saves Joseph Greer.



TOMMY ONIONS: Wait I think I saw the curtain move!



Focusing in, sure enough the black curtain separating the stage from the ‘gorilla position’ moves, but still Parsons is nowhere to be seen.



JOSEPH GREER: What the heck is going on? Chris Parsons has apparently entered this contest just to no show it!



The camera zooms out as ‘Believer’ continues. Slowly the cameraman traces the entrance ramp, showcasing nothing more than the sea the RSW fans at this special event on the road to AnarChristmas.



BILLY FOWLER: Parsons always was a strange lot and if the rumours of what took place while he was Armand Von Krauss’…umm we’ll call it guest, then Parsons might well be off his rocker altogether lads.



TOMMY ONIONS: At least he isn’t trying to offend his co-workers with his costume!



CHRIS PARSONS: Good evening fuckers! That’s right! I’mmmmmm baaaaaaaaack! It’s your boy Parsons, here to show you how a Hall of Famer rolls for Halloween.



Fans cheer for the, as of yet, unseen minority shareholder. This would be his first match since winning an odd encounter with RSW owner Armand Von Krauss via count out when Armand simply walked out on their match, and his first truly sanctioned match in a year.



JOSEPH GREER: Guys? Do you have anything? Because I have no clue.



TOMMY ONIONS: Invisible man? I don’t know, shit…



BILLY FOWLER: Couldn’t begin to guess.



CHRIS PARSONS: I know I’m not super obvious like those other fuckbags so I’ll just give you a moment to figure it out.



The crowd doesn’t cheer or boo; they have absolutely no idea what Parsons is talking about.



CHRIS PARSONS: No one? Well shit, this is sorta embarrassing. I thought it was obvious…



Waiting only a moment, Parsons finally lets the cat out of the bag.



CHRIS PARSONS: …well, I’m dressed as the collective talent of Anthony Stevenson, Salem Shepard and Erik Black. But while we got a moment…please take your eyes away from my stunning costume and look at this…



BILLY FOWLER: *laughing* I changed my mind! There’s my winner right there! Wait…



Cheers and cat calls interrupt Fowler as Parsons RioTron video stops playing and is replaced by a picture of Marcus and Parsons in what appears to be the VIP section of a strip club.



Marcus is clearly intoxicated as he’s shown with his arms draped over the shoulders of several young ladies and Parsons wears a large toothy grin brought on likely in no small part by the fair skinned redhead sat in his lap.



The young ‘lady’ appears to be having the time of her life, drinking champagne with one hand while leaning back and cupping the face of Parsons with the other.



Parsons’ right hand is on the trim waist of this fiery beauty, his left is no where to be seen.



CHRIS PARSONS: …yeah, I know right? Not bad. But look folks that isn’t just any ho…that particular ho fancies herself Erik Black’s girl…



A collective ‘Ohhhhh!’ From the crowd precedes cheers as the audience is reminded of just how far Chris Parsons would go to get under someone’s skin.



CHRIS PARSONS: …I know! Right?! *laughing* Why would I do this? Because we had some words over the internet? Because he’s attracting some of my attention? Hell no, this is a lesson boys. The three of you come out here like you’re something special. Like you’re something to pay attention to.



I just tore down all your buzz with a Halloween costume and a fucking picture…that’s called being a heel boys…



Groans and another ‘Oh!’ From the fans let Parsons pause for some added drama.



JOSEPH GREER: Well…Parsons is back! The minority owner isn’t mincing any words either.



Giving the crowd a final moment to take in the unnamed beauties, Parsons chuckles a little before continuing.



CHRIS PARSONS: …take fucking notes! That’s the kind of thing you three morons could never pull off.



A clown that’s apparently sensitive about being called a clown, what appears to be the answer to ‘exactly what will a homeless man do for twenty bucks and some head’, and the worst of all…Erik Black.



Do you know why I rag on you shitbrick? Because you’re a poor man’s me. Bouncing clubs, shit son…I was doing that before you knew what a tittie was. Partying, yeah we’ll call it ‘partying’. Back in GCW, I renovated part of our home arena into a nightclub so the party could come to me every single show I stole!



You? You’re just me without any of the nuances. There’s no style, no flair, you’re just a punk that thinks he’s the toughest guy in the room. Sorry pal, in this locker room…you’d be lucky to crack the top ten.



So, costume contest’s over….Bobby boy…let’s take care of that intro one more time.



Going back to the ring, Bob Mooney stands at center ring as a very inpatient Dylan Erickson and Havok pace the ring.



JOSEPH GREER: Look at Havok and Erickson! Think they’re feeling disrespected?



BILLY FOWLER: How couldn’t they?! That had to be the longest intro since Parsons vs Nocturnal years ago and Parsons didn’t even mention them!



BOB MOONEY: And their opponents…weighing in at a combined weight of four hundred and ninety two pounds…Chris Parsons and Marcus Anderson…The Inglorious Bastards!!!



JOSEPH GREER: Well, to your point earlier, it appears Parsons and Anderson will at least enter the match as a unit.



The screen goes black, soon what appears to be Tokyo, Japan fades into view. Gojira’s theme,the theme of Godzilla begins.



JOSEPH GREER: Wait…is that the Godzilla theme song?



TOMMY ONIONS: No clue, I don’t speak nerd…



BILLY FOWLER: Yeah, I believe it is.



On the screen, cartoon Godzilla versions of Parsons and Anderson destroy Tokyo. Stomping and crushing buildings, both Godzilla parodies use their breath weapon at the same time, leaving a charred mass of red hot metal that morphs into the T.I.B. Logo as the song shifts to ‘Simon Says’ by Pharohe Monch.



JOSEPH GREER: I should have known! This was Parsons original entrance music during his original run with Logan Omari as The Inglorious Bastards!



TOMMY ONIONS: Logan Omari…that sounds familiar. Didn’t Derren Archer almost kill him by knocking him out of a parking garage with a car?



BILLY FOWLER: Even I’d forgotten about that, seems like that was a lifetime ago.



Red and while crest is topped by skeletal wings and a banner running top and bottom that reads, “Greatness…is Taken”



Bursting through the curtains with a renewed vigour, Parsons pumps the crowd up before signalling for Anderson.



Stepping through the curtain, Parsons hypes the crowd before giving his new partner a simple fist bump. Looking around the arena, Parsons points around at the screaming fans.



CHRIS PARSONS: I’m back! And now Marco…it’s time to show them all how this Tagteam shit is done!



Walking the ramp, Parsons and Anderson stop to get the numbers of any hot chick within the first couple rows.



CHRIS PARSONS: After we win…after party! No husbands, no boyfriends!



Anderson shakes his head, but after Pittsburgh he understood. It was all part of the act.



Reaching the ring, Parsons looks Andi Snow up and down.



CHRIS PARSONS: What are you doing after the show?



Looking sort of disgusted, Andi quickly checks that neither has any weapons and that the broomstick is in place and walks away.



JOSEPH GREER: Andi doing a through job as referee here.



TOMMY ONIONS: Good, she’ll have a fallback career after I sue her for character assassination.



MARCUS ANDERSON: You know she’s the ref right?



CHRIS PARSONS: Of course I do, that’s why I asked what sugartits over there was doing AFTER the show. Obviously she’s busy right now.



Andi calls for the bell!!!



DING! DING!! DING!!!



Before Parsons or Anderson can either further annoy or apologize respectively; they’re rushed by Havok and Erickson.



JOSEPH GREER: Havok and Dylan aren’t wasting any time!



Erickson makes a b line straight for Parsons, while Havok begins with a drop kick that sends Anderson stumbling back into the far corner.



JOSEPH GREER: Dropkick from Havok and he’s right in the face of the larger Marcus Anderson…lefts and rights, Havok is prison rules fighting out there!



BILLY FOWLER: To his credit, Erickson is picking apart Parsons…



Just as Fowler is about to continue his thought, Erickson pummels Parsons into the opposite corner and hits an overhand chop to the chest that drops the six foot five Parsons to a knee.



ALL: Oh!!!



BILLY FOWLER: …I don’t miss those! Those hurt far more than people realize.



Havok continues taking advantage of their quick start, chopping Anderson down to a knee with everything but the kitchen sink. Lefts, rights, kicks Havok shows his experience. Settling on a series of leg kicks before backing up with a shining wizard that causes Anderson to roll from the ring dazed.



JOSEPH GREER: Shining Wizard! Anderson to the outside leaving Parsons alone!



BILLY FOWLER: Again, as a former Tagteam Champion, getting isolated like this is bad news.



Realizing their advantage, Havok joins in the mauling of Parsons. Both men beat the minority owner down before looking to each other.



BILLY FOWLER: I think Havok and Dylan just got on the same page lads!



Looking up, Havok sees the broomstick and motions to Erickson as he climbs the turnbuckle to retrieve the weapon.



TOMMY ONIONS: Finally! Now we’ll see some action!



Sensing an opportunity, Havok again motions to Erickson as he stands atop the turnbuckles with the broomstick.



JOSEPH GREER: What’s Havok thinking here?



BILLY FOWLER: Who knows?



TOMMY ONIONS: Probably about how he’ll worm his way into his next high profile match without actually earning it.



Understanding his ‘partner’s’ intent, Erickson plants Parsons with a huge choke slam!



JOSEPH GREER: What a choke slam from the giant of RSW!



BILLY FOWLER: Hey! Gimmick infringement Greer! The original giant of RSW is sat at this table!



Leaping from the top, Havok positions the broomstick as he hits a diving legdrop, for a moment he cuts a witch’s silhouette before crashing into Parsons.



TOMMY ONIONS: Fuck yeah, now he can give that broom to Andi so she can fly the fuck out of here!



JOSEPH GREER: What a move by Havok! The fans are on their feet! Havok with the cover!



……….ONE!



…………………TWO!!



JOSEPH GREER: Parsons out cleanly at two!



BILLY FOWLER: Say What you will about Parsons’ shenanigans, he’s as tough as they come. Havok and Erickson will need to do more if they’re looking to put away the the first ever RSW signee!



TOMMY ONIONS: Parsons was the first guy to sign? You think that would have been Rob Riot, it being his company at the time, but hey what do I know.



JOSEPH GREER: Not much in my experience.



TOMMY ONIONS: First Andi and now you? Is this shit on Tommy day?



BILLY FOWLER: In a word. Yes. Yes it is.



Dragging Parsons to his feet both Havok and Erickson get in a couple short punches for good measure before Erickson whips Parsons hard into the corner, practically moving the ring with the force behind it.



Rushing Parsons, Havok jumps into a Stinger Splash in the corner.



JOSEPH GREER: Stinger splash! No! Parsons is out of the way! He’s on the run!



Running along the ropes, Parsons ducks a powerful lariat attempt from Erickson quickly and practically jumps to the second turnbuckle with lightning speed for a two hundred and fifty pound man.



BILLY FOWLER: I think I can count on one hand, the number of times I’ve seen Parsons go to the ropes! I’m not sure he had anywhere else to go!



Clearly out of his element against RSW’s current giant; a quick sign of the cross from Parsons as he jumps, looking to snatch a bulldog headlock midair!



JOSEPH GREER: What a move from Parsons! No! Erickson caught him! What strength!



TOMMY ONIONS: Holy shit!



At six foot five and some two hundred and fifty pounds, Parsons is clearly surprised at the much larger man’s strength. But keeps hold of the headlock.



BILLY FOWLER: Speaking as someone who’s Erickson’s size, he’s incredibly strong even for guys our size…now there’s only one way to go from here…



A cheer bursts forth from the crowd as Marcus Anderson slides into the ring, barely stopping Anderson spears Erickson, giving Parsons the momentum needed to come forward.



JOSEPH GREER: Oh a spear into a spike bulldog driver! Erickson is down!



BILLY FOWLER: That was perhaps the best One Percenter I’ve ever seen! Cover him man!



TOMMY ONIONS: Oh shit! I forgot Anderson was even out there!



BILLY FOWLER: I think Dylan might have too!



Anderson gets to his feet and is greeted by a broomstick wielding Havok.



CRACK!!



BILLY FOWLER: But not Havok…ouch!



JOSEPH GREER: What a shot by Havok!! Anderson is out…he’s fallen on Erickson!!! Parsons out of nowhere!!!!!



Returning the favour; Parsons rushes Havok nearly plowing through the smaller man, sending them both through the second and third ropes and crashing to the outside!



TOMMY ONIONS: This has been awesome! They’re just fighting!



The cheering crowd agrees, seeing Marcus Anderson technically pinning Dylan, Andi counts.



………One!



……………Two!!



………………….Three!!!



JOSEPH GREER: They did it! An insane improvised double team move by Anderson and Parsons and a whole lot of luck has gotten the job done here at Anarchy Forty Two!



BILLY FOWLER: Well it wasn’t a horrible debut for the new team on the block, I give it a C+!



TOMMY ONIONS: Thankfully that bitch Andi Snow will be leaving! Fuck you very much bitch!



‘Simon Says’ by Pharohe Monch starts again while a clearly damaged Parsons rolls into the ring, dragging a dazed Marcus Anderson to his feet to celebrate as Bob Mooney makes it official.



BOB MOONEY: The winners of this Match…Chris Parsons and Marcus Anderson…The Inglorious Bastards!!!!!!



JOSEPH GREER: Well, a win for Marcus Anderson and a successful return to action for Chris Parsons. They’ve got to be happ with how things ended, if not how they got there!



BILLY FOWLER: Havok laying out Anderson onto Dylan for the pin was a bad bit of luck, but that’s how it goes sometimes!



JOSEPH GREER: We’ll be right back with more insane action! The type you can only get here in Riot Star Wrestling!

[vastrix]

The RioTron lights up as footage from earlier in the day starts to play. Backstage a semi truck is backing up to the loading dock. The dock workers are looking at each other as they have no clue what is coming in. The driver makes his way to the workers as he looks down at his paperwork.



DRIVER: I am looking for Anthony Stevens I have 10 barrels of parts of and 10 barrels of fluid for Mr. Stevenson.



Anthony enters the area and he is very excited like a kid on Christmas. He is jumping for Joy and has a very sick and happy smile on his face.



KNUCKS: So do you have my parts? What about my drums of fluid?



DRIVER; Yes sir we have it all even the 50 gallons of cum… I have to be honest this was the first time we had to source that much cum.



KNUCKS: Well what can I say today is a special day but don’t worry we will need more again soon.



Knucks signs the paperwork while signing a bus pulls in. He jumps with joy once more as he hands the driver an envelope full of money. The dock workers start moving the drums backstage as Knucks heads towards the bus. A man in a suit gets off and walks over towards Anthony. This man looks like a slimy kind of guy a real dirtbag.



MAN IN SUIT: Hey Anthony I have 25 girls at $200 a person.



KNUCKS: Sounds good send them to my locker room.



Salem walks over and he can see all of the stuff being delivered and then he sees 25 midget females walking towards the locker room.



SALEM: Damn look at all those tiny bitches.



KNUCKS: Yeah that’s offensive those bitches are height impaired. Show some respect Salem.



SALEM: What is all this shit?



KNUCKS: It’s for our entrance tonight it is going to be epic… the debut of …



SALEM: Not yet man, do not say the name yet.



KNUCKS: But look, everyone, says I don’t spend money so I want you to know I paying for all of this… The girls are $200 each per person and the truck was expensive but I got it.



SALEM: So you spent $5,000 on midgets?



KNUCKS: Well the dude said $200 per women… so each of these girls is only like a third of a woman so three midgets are $200.



MAN IN SUIT: NO that’s not right… its $5,000 like the clown said.



KNUCKS: OK… Fuck… So um Salem you got like $2,000 I can borrow for the night?



SALEM: Fuck it I want to see what shit you have planned out plus you have to keep your promise homie.



KNUCKS: Man shit I hoped you forgot… But fuck it we going to get higher than a mother fucker when we win those belts.



MAN: I will take my money now… and remember to treat them girls with respect.



KNUCKS: I wonder if they will go up on us.



SALEM: As long as they don’t stick their nose in my business.



KNUCKS: That’s fucking hilarious because their nose is even with your asshole.



SALEM: Yeah it was my joke Homie but hey the shows getting ready to start and we got some work to do…



KNUCKS: These mother fuckers are not READY FOR THIS.



The video feed on the RioTron ends.



TOMMY ONIONS: I got word backstage that this entrance is going to be big…you just don’t know what you’re going to get with these two.

[vastrix]

JOSEPH GREER: What a night of RSW action so far!



BILLY FOWLER: Absolutely Joseph, we’ve had surprises, costumes and more!



Cheers take over the arena as the screen is taken over by, one third of The Bastards; the one and only Frank Windsor…and a woman who appears to be fussing over the hands of the decorated former RSW World Heavyweight Champion.



TOMMY ONIONS: FRANK!



A finely tailored deep purple suit has a white and black spotted fur coat draped over it as Franks sits getting a manicure.



A voice comes from off camera.



???: excuse me? Frank Windsor right? I’m a huge RSW fan, have you seen a larger angry man?



Stepping into the shot is a young woman in her mid thirties wearing jeans and a bright blue RSW t-shirt. A little sweaty and panting, she seems like she might be running from someone.



FRANK WINDSOR: Eh love? You’ll have to be more specific.



This is RSW, large angry looking men were all over the locker room.



???: Big, black collared shirt, yells ‘get back here!’ And ‘you’re not allowed back here!’ a lot…



FRANK WINDSOR: You don’t mean Big Ass Hank, do you?



???: Yes that’s him!



BIG ASS HANK: Get back here! You’re not allowed back here!



Practically jumping out of their skin, the fan takes off but makes sure to add to their moment of glory.



???: I gotta go, but awesome Cruella Deville costume! See ya!



BIG ASS HANK: If I catch you…



A bigger than usual and slightly winded looking Big Ass Hank, head of RSW security, runs through the shot leaving a slightly confused Frank Windsor and his manicurist on their own.



FRANK WINDSOR: Eh? Cruella who now?



Brushing the shoulder of his magnificent coat, Frank finishes.



FRANK WINDSOR: This was my grandfather’s coat.



BILLY FOWLER: *laughing* Ha! Frank as Cruella Deville! Not bloody likely!



JOSEPH GREER: Be that as it may; we’re going to take a short break and when we come back, the RSW World Tagteam Championships will be on the line as newly ‘Awoken’ Salem Shepard and his partner Anthony ‘Knucks’ Stevenson challenge Solo Tagteam Champion Shane Mitchell and a partner of RSW Owner Armand Von Krauss’ choosing for the gold! Stay tuned because it’s live…and it’s next, here on Anarchy!

[vastrix]

BOB MOONEY: This next contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the RSW Tag Team championships! Featuring first the challengers…Anthony “Knucks” Stevenson and Salem Shepard. They are…Filth Factory!



The words “Filth Factory” came across the RioTron, the words melted into blood and ran down the screen. Blood then started to drip from the bottom of the screen itself and onto the ramp as music started to play:



“Oompa loompa doompety doo



I’ve got a perfect tag-team for you



Oompa loompa doompety dee



Your life will be in the hands of me”



Midgets, tons of them, all female, came out from behind the curtain wearing thong bikinis and had super soakers in hand, along with bloody body part necklaces. The female midgets lined both sides of the ramp as the song continued to play. They raised their super soakers high and stood still as two figures appeared from the top of the ramp.



A strobe light flickers a few times as “Filth Factory” by G-Mo Skee starts. A purple spot light shines as Knucks is dressed in a suit with a Willy Wonka suit and mask. Salem is dressed as Charlie with a mask and all.



Salem holds up a huge golden ticket that says Tag Team Champions on it. As they walk to the ring the female midgets spray the water guns into the crowd as fake sperm comes out of them. The midgets who weren’t terrorizing the fans with fake sperm and bloody body parts were twerking their little midget asses. Salem paused as they headed to the ring, from inside the mask he licked his lips as he stared at the short, fat legged gyrating midget booties. Knucks paused right after Salem and he also looked to be in a trance. They couldn’t take their eyes off them, it was the most amazing little twerk either of them had ever seen. Knucks shook his head and came back into reality and he pulled Salem back toward the ring. Salem held both his hands over his junk and walked kinda funny. Fans duck, cover and scream as more midgets come out from the back with barrels of body parts and start tossing them at the crowd.



While the oompa midgets continue playing with and tossing what looks to be real body parts dripping in blood, Salem and Knucks enter the ring. Salem holds up the golden ticket and Knucks holds up a cane like Willy Wonka and the lights go out. Strobe lights shine and you see the midgets handing out more body parts. The sounds of a chain saw is heard as large man dressed as leatherface runs around the ring. Blood sprays the fans in the first few rows as more screams followed. Then everything goes dark again…



The light over the ring turns on and knucks and Salem have shed the costume. Salem face is painted like normal but so is knucks. Knucks has a skull painted on his face and neck and it was soo well done you would almost believe it was real as the strobe lights came on and off each time.



The duo is wearing black and white long camo shorts and black t-shirts that say Filth Factory. Fans are still trying to get the fake cum and blood off of them. An older guy in the first row sat eating his popcorn that now had topping, but he didn’t seem to mind as he continued to shovel it in his mouth – his eyes never leaving the small beautiful baby sized booties. A kid in the front row is playing with a heart that was tossed out as Knucks and Salem hit the ring.



JOSEPH GREER: I have no words.



CHRIS PARSONS: Somehow that seems to make a whole ton of sense, Joey. How did you get this gig anyway?



TOMMY ONIONS: I’ve been wondering that myself for years now!



BILLY FOWLER: The booth is awful crowded tonight. Who knew we had enough equipment?



MARCUS ANDERSON: Well, they certainly lived up to the name Filth Factory. That was just nasty.



CHRIS PARSONS: But it did bring all eyes on them and that’s key, kid.



BOB MOONEY: And their opponent, the RSW Tag Team champions…champion? Shane Mitchell!



“Fool’s Gold” by the Stone Roses begins playing as Shane Mitchell walks out from the back. He makes his way down to the ring under the boos from the fans with a tag team title belt over each shoulder.



JOSEPH GREER: I wonder-



CHRIS PARSONS: Who Army got to be Shane Mitchell’s tag team partner? I think you see the answer for that one right there. Ain’t no one wanting to be his partner. They might get fired.



TOMMY ONIONS: Ain’t that the truth!



BILLY FOWLER: Armand could have gotten someone to be Shane’s partner, but Shane is hard to work with or so I’ve heard.



Shane steps into the ring and hands the title belts to the ref to display before handing them off to the timekeeper. Shane looks across the ring to both Knucks and Salem with a twisted grin on his face.



SHANE MITCHELL: RSW loses two wrestlers tonight.



KNUCKS: What? GPS units not working right?



SALEM SHEPARD: Where’s your partner? Oh I forgot, she’s in the ground!



Shane Mitchell suddenly crosses the ring, strikes Salem with a right hand hard enough to send him over the ropes to the concrete floor. Knucks attacks Shane with a few lefts and rights before dropping Shane with a ddt. He begins stomping and kicking Shane as the bell is rung to start the match.



Salem Shepard jumps onto the ring apron, looking pissed the fuck off, but Shawna Savate intercepts him and keeps him from getting into the ring.



This fact isn’t lost upon Knucks, who quickly does a reverse chin lock that is shifted into a choke. Shane waves his arms to try to get Shawna’s attention. By the time she turns away from Salem, Knucks has shifted back into a normal reverse chin lock.



JOSEPH GREER: This-



CHRIS PARSONS: Is going to happen all night? You fucking know it, sweet cheeks.



TOMMY ONIONS: They call it proper tag team action, Joey!



MARCUS ANDERSON: Seems like cheating to me.



CHRIS PARSONS: It’s only cheating if you get caught, kid. Your dad knew that.



BILLY FOWLER: His dad also took some strange shortcuts to get the match done.



Knucks releases the hold, running to the ropes as Shen slowly rises. On the rebound, Knucks goes for a big boot to the head, but Shane sidesteps the kick. He catches Knucks and delivers a massive powerslam! He hooks the leg for a quick pinfall!



One



Tw-Knucks kicks out!



Shane jumps to his feet, crosses the ring, and knocks Salem off of the ring apron with a hard right hand. Salem quickly jumps back up, but Shawna is in his face again to keep him on the ring apron. Shane pulls Knucks to his feet and punches him in the throat! He grabs Knucks with a front face lock, sending a knee into Anthony’s gut a few times before dropping him with a ddt!



CHRIS PARSONS: See? Turnaround is fair play.



MARCUS ANDERSON: I suppose.



Instead of going for the pinfall again, Shane grabs Knucks by the hair, and smashes his face into the mat a few times. Shawna comes quickly to yell at Shane to stop. Which he does, but only after he sees blood begin to splatter against the mat.



Shane backs away as instructed and Shawna checks on Knucks, who stands up and looks defiantly at Shane before tagging in the already bloodied and pissed off Salem.



Salem crosses the ring, putting a shoulder to Shane, and sending him to the ropes. On the rebound, Salem catches Shane, and hits a backbreaker! He quickly applies a crossface, cinching the move in with a wild grin.



JOSEPH GREER: Looks-



CHRIS PARSONS: Like pissing off a schizo isn’t the best thing to do? You’re right, Joey!



TOMMY ONIONS: This is just too funny.



MARCUS ANDERSON: Why?



TOMMY ONIONS: Cause Joey can’t get a word in!



Salem releases Shane and pulls him up, but quickly sends him back to the mat with a facebuster! Salem stands back up again as Shane is still on the mat and stomps the back of his head to mash Shane’s nose into the mat with a burst of blood!



Salem laughs like a maniac as Shane gets to his feet. The laughter ceases when Shane comes at him with lefts and rights before throwing Salem to the ropes. He hits a running knee to the gut on the rebound that sends Salem to the mat. Shane perches himself on Salem, striking him again and again until Shane’s fists look to be covered in a combination of face paint and blood. Shawna screams at him until he gets off of Salem and looks at Knucks with a laugh, blood dripping from his hands.



SHANE MITCHELL: Now do you know how serious this is?



Shane pulls Salem up and whips him into the corner where Knucks is. A tag and Knucks is back into the ring. He runs across the ring, hitting Shane with a spear that takes Shane down to the mat. Knucks gets up quickly and applies a figure four leglock. The move doesn’t last long as Shane easily grabs the ropes to get Shawna to break the hold.



Shane is back to his feet, but is knocked back a few steps with a drop kick from Knucks. A second drop kick sends Shane back into a corner where Knucks jumps up to the second turnbuckle. He looks to the fans with his fist raised high and they cheer as Knucks begins to pummel Shane relentlessly.



JOSEPH GREER: Is this-



CHRIS PARSONS: Not much more than a street fight? You betcha sweet ass it is. I expect to hear the Mortal Kombat theme to begin playing at any moment.



JOSEPH GREER: No, I meant-



TOMMY ONIONS: This isn’t much more than a dirty boxing match with all of the fist play?



CHRIS PARSONS: Nice one.



JOSEPH GREER: Good-



MARCUS ANDERSON: God?



BILLY FOWLER: You may as well stop trying, Joseph.



Shane seizes Knucks around the waist, steps away from the corner, and drops Knucks straight onto his knee for a low blow! Shawna looks like she might say something, but since she didn’t yell at Knucks for the closed fists…she says nothing.



Shane rushes across the ring to the ropes, hitting a fist drop on the rebound. He goes for the pinfall real quick, but the pinfall is broken up by Salem before Shawna can even get into position.



Shawna spends time getting Salem back to his corner, Shane puts a knee to Knucks’ throat to choke him out! Knucks slaps the mat to desperately get Shawna’s attention. She turns around quickly and Shane jumps to his feet.



Shane pulls Knucks up and hits a fisherman brainbuster! He stands up, runs across the ring, and knocks Salem down from the ring apron. Salem jumps up and tries to get into the ring, but Shawna is right there to stop him. Shane hits a knee drop, one knee to the chest and one knee to the throat! he remains in this position until Shawna turns around when he goes for the pinfall!



One



Two



Thre-Salem breaks the pinfall!



Shawna is right there, sending Salem back to his corner. Shane smiles, pinching and twisting Knucks’ bloody nose.



Erick Black runs down to the ring, drawing Shane’s attention. Knucks rolls away with the distraction to tag in Salem.



MARCUS ANDERSON: Hey, no fair!



JOSEPH GREER: It isn’t-



CHRIS PARSONS: Like Shane’s been playing by the rules either.



BILLY FOWLER: Black just stood there. Not like he did anything to draw Shane’s attention beyond standing there.



CHRIS PARSONS: I think Black is drawing some attention though.



Indeed, Rob Riot, Frank Windsor, and D come down to the ring. They stand on the opposite side of the ring from Erik, but their intentions are clear.



Get involved and we will fuck you up.



BILLY FOWLER: Go, guys!



Shane looks over to see Rob Riot standing at ringside with a frown, but he doesn’t say anything. Salem catches him offguard with a chokeslam, sending Shane crashing to the mat.



Salem pulls Shane up into a suplex position. Holding him in the air for several seconds before bringing him down with a jackhammer!



JOSEPH GREER: Ni-



CHRIS PARSONS: Nightrmarez! Is this one all over?



Salem goes for the cover!



One



Two



Three!



Erik Black rolls into the ring as Knucks jumps over the ropes. Erik raises the hands of Salem and Knucks in victory for a brief moment before putting the boots to Shane Mitchell.



This brings Rob Riot, Frank Windsor, and D into the ring to begin brawling with the members of Awoken.



CHRIS PARSONS: You know you want to, kid. Let’s go.



Chris Parsons and Marcus Anderson roll into the ring, quickly joined by Lex Collins as they turn the battle in the ring to pure chaos.



BOB MOONEY: Winners of the match and NEW tag team champions…Filth Factory!



JOSEPH GREER: We have pure pandemonium going on in the ring right now as what appears to be three different teams going at it!



Shane Mitchell rolls out of the ring, slapping the mat in anger at losing.



TOMMY ONIONS: I love it!



JOSEPH GREER: This has been Joseph Greer, Billy Fowler, and-



TOMMY ONIONS: “Sweet” Tommy Onions!



JOSEPH GREER: God damn it, Tommy! Hopefully this shit in the ring gets taken care of, but we are outta time.