ALL ABOUT BYOB! by Trevor

[Steele]

Hey all, my name's Trevor. I'm 47 and divorced (thank fuck).

I live in a town called Christmas, Florida, and I been a wrestling fan all my life. I remember the good old days way back when, when wrestling was wrestling and not the shit it is today. I'm talking about the late 90s when they wasn't afraid to show blood and guts and titties on TV.

My ex (fuck you Karen) never "got" wrestling. She thought that it was all a bunch of fake-ass male drama and shit.

THAT'S THE BEST PART OF WRESTLING YOU DUMB CUNT!

I ain't gonna lie, I can't pretend I was ever gonna make it into the big legues. Even though I's a fairly big guy I ain't ever been one for livin my life all regimented like. I can't be dealin with all that eatin clean and weightlifting and shit. I been a security guard ever since I got outta school and I like it that way.

Now that I live on my own I got a hell of a lot more time on my hands to do the shit I wanna do. And I reached the point in my life when I gotta start tryin to live my dream or die tryin'.

So I thought "fuck it whats the worse that can happen?" and decided to set up my own company in the back yard of my house. I only got the kids every other weekend so I got plenty of time to wrestle too.

I'm callin it "Bring Your Own Backyard" Wrestlin, and I'm gonna get some of my boys involved and we're gonna start puttin on shows of our own! My man Skeeter says he can get us onto that XHF Network somehow. I don't know jack about computers beyond the basic though so I'ma leave that up to him.

It's gonna be all the BEST bits of wrestling, without all the bullshit. The blood the violence the gore and (hopefully) some titties - tho I think my niece is trying to get involved so you stay the FUCK away from her you hear?


THE "ARENA"

Since I'm holdin the shows at my own house, we ain't got no "arena" in a usual sense. It's like... Well shit, you heard of backyard wrestling, ain't ya? I mean you can't get no more literal than that. We got some mattresses and boards down on the ground and a load of old rope and stakes fer a ring, figure we can use the back door as an entranceway. I got an old bed sheet I don't need any more that I'll use fer a curtain.

I'll set up a comentary table in the southeastern corner of the yard and me and Skeeter'll call the action, but we'll get in the ring from time to time too.

And forget about any sort of big screen or "tron", I ain't got that sorta money! I got an old TV trolley that we can wheel out as and when we need it though.

There's enough junk all over the yard to act as weapons - old TVs, a broken lawnmower or two, car parts, dog shit.

And before anybody asks, no I ain't got pyro. Sheeit, who do you think I am? I can light a fire in an empty oil drum if anyone's that committed to their character that they need a fuckin pyro.

So, anyway... That's BYOB. It ain't pretty, but it's damn sure gonna be an experience.