Post by Kira Izumi on Nov 23, 2018 13:58:33 GMT -5
ORIGINAL INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT
"So what's yer name?"
*Weeaboo Jones
"Uh-huh. I've heard better but it'll do I guess. How old are ya?"
*34
"Wow, you don't look it. I would have guessed you was waaay older. Alright, how tall are ya and what do you weigh?"
*5'10 and 200 Lbs.
"Jesus. Well, we ain't got no weight divisions here so hopefully nobody dies or shit like that. Where do you come from?"
*The Virgin Realm
"And what sorta house do you live in? Like, d'you live in a trailer, a mansion, some haunted fuckin' castle?"
*He actually lives in a run down trailer in the middle of bumfuck nowhere. It's pretty shitty, but it's full of his precious waifus and anime so he's happy with it.
"Ok I hear ya. Can't wait to run a show there! So what do you do for a living? Cos, y'know, you gotta bring that to the ring, see. I'll accept if yer unemployed or a student or something, but I don't need no boring-ass wrestlers here. Doesn't have to be a job I s'pose, could be a hobby."
*He's a massive weeaboo and a N.E.E.T., which stands for Not In Education, Employment, or Training, pretty much he spends time playing games, watching anime and hentai and pro wrestling and getting money from his parents who are ashamed of him and wonder where they went wrong in raising their son.
"Well shit I'm excited to see how you get that over! So what's yer personality like? I guess what I'm trying to say is, are you more of a dude or a dick?"
*An Unintentional Heel.
"I see, I see. Well we're all friends here. Alright so that just about covers all the personal details, let's talk about your ability. Every wrestler needs a finisher, what's yours?"
* Kamehameha! - This
"Oh cool, I've never seen a backyard wrestler use that before... Alright, whatever. Gimme a few signature moves. Don't go fucking nuts, my notepad is only so big."
*Getsuga Tenshou! - He holds a wooden sword and swings it at his opponent while yelling out "Getsuga Tenshou!"
It's Not A Phase MOM! - Roaring Lariat
Fuck You, My Waifu Is My Laifu! - He yells some weeb anime phrases before declaring his many waifus are his laifu as he holds his body pillow that's not PG at all with a naked anime lady on it, he starts beating the shit out of his opponent with it before pinning them.
"Well hopefully I've got someone on the roster who can take those moves otherwise you're gonna end up regretting choosing 'em. Alright, and how would you describe your overall style. Don't say 'Hardcore', we're all fuckin' hardcore here, that's a given."
*A worthless fuck who only knows shitty martial arts and anime moves. But pretty much a brawler and garbage wrestler more than anything
"Cool. Cool. Hey, you know you kinda remind me of somebody famous. Did anyone ever tell you that you look like... Ah shit, what's their name again..."
* Filthy Frank
"Yes! That's it! You look like their identical fuckin' twin or somethin! Alright, nearly done. What song do you want for yer entrance?"
*Weeaboo Song By Filthy Frank
"I'll have to check to see if I got it on CD somewhere. I'll get Skeeter to download it if need be. Right - last question! Tell me a bit about yourself. Tell me what brought you here to BYOB, gimme a quick run down so I can really get to know you."
*Poor kid got hooked on dem chines cartoons like cory in the house and seinfield when he was young, he never looked back as he got a crush on Sailor Moon and found out about rule 34 shortly after. His parents hate him and wonder where they went wrong with raising their son, but they still give him loads of cash to spend on hentai and doujinshi. He's a fucking weeaboo and should be treated as such.
"Awesome, all done! Well, I've got your number so I'll give you a call some time and we'll all meet up and create some fuckin' performance art! Welcome aboard!"
*Ugh... I hope this is ok, he's a weeaboo...
