AnarChristmas V

[vastrix]

The screen is black. And there’s a face, we see, a face hidden in shadows, looking down from above. The picture has a grainy look to it as it changes. The scene is of Shane Mitchell stood in the ring behind him stood to his left is Rob Riot. Rob Riot stood to the left of Shane suddenly flickers and changes position from the left part of the picture, to the right. Almost instantly Riot returns to his original position, but in that one moment in its changed location we see another man with a shadow covering his face. Shane turns towards where that figure stood, and nods. “Everybody Knows” by Sigrid starts to blare around the arena. Rob moves in slow motion on the screen as the figure in shadows steps into the light. It is Erik Black. The RSW World Heavyweight Championship belt is pictured in the middle of the screen with the three men surrounding it.



The camera pans back up, the fans in attendance and those watching at home are greeted to a splendid highlight reel of the last few shows. The memorable moments from the past Anarchy’s including Erik Black stealing the RSW World Heavyweight Championship belt, destroying Rob Riot in the process, The Awoken kidnapping Billy Fowler, Frank Windsor’s surprising return to the squared circle and Havok calling out Dylan Erickson for a match at AnarChristmas. However, the footage ends with an unsettling montage of Shane Mitchell, Lex Collins, Andi Snow, Isaiah Zepp and Joe Beb.



After the video package a pyrotechnics display that invigorates the vocally-strong crowd in the audience. The fans show off their signs as the cameras survey the arena. Eventually, one lone cameraman shows Joseph Greer and Tommy Onions at ringside. Both are dressed in their regular attire again, and Joseph greets the masses with a warm smile.



JOSEPH GREER: Welcome ladies and gentleman to the latest RSW Pay per view, welcome to ANARCHRISTMAS! I’m Joseph Greer alongside Vince Walters, and we are ending a calendar year for RSW with this glorious spectacle before going into a new year.



TOMMY ONIONS: It’s just a pity we’ve not got Billy Fowler with us this week but he was abducted by Awoken last show.



JOSEPH GREER: Sarcasm doesn’t work with you Tommy. Anyway onto tonight’s show; did you see that main event?



TOMMY ONIONS: Yes, we were due to have Shane Mitchell challenging Rob Riot for the RSW World Heavyweight Championship belt but Erik Black somehow inserted himself into it.



JOSEPH GREER: Otherwise it should be a great match. We’ve also got Lex Collins defending both the belts he has in two matches.



TOMMY ONIONS: First he defends the RSW Anarchy Championship against the gorgeous Andi Snow and then he has to defend his RSW Legacy Championship against D; now that’s going to be awesome.



JOSEPH GREER: What about the RSW Tag Championship match? Filth Factory versus Parsons and Anderson, now that’s going to be great.



TOMMY ONIONS: They should be facing the Bastards.



JOSEPH GREER: Thanks for that professional comment, Tommy. But also, I think we’ll be getting to see how the next instalment of the Erickson/Havok saga goes.



TOMMY ONIONS: Maybe the little guy will beat that midget…



Joseph simply stares at Tommy before rolling his eyes, doing so as the curtains part and Frank Windsor is stood there. He has a microphone in his hand.



TOMMY ONIONS: What’s Frank want? He’s not due here for a while.



JOSEPH GREER: He looks all serious.



Frank brings up the microphone as he waits for the crowd to stop cheering.



FRANK WINDSOR: So……….as you’ve probably noticed the Bastards have been going through a flux of sorts lately; With Fowler being injured, Riot getting jumped constantly and myself being trolled by internet punks on Twitter.



Frank looks around himself as the crowd continue to listen.



FRANK WINDSOR: Tonight I was supposed to be in a triple threat for the number one contendership for the RSW Legacy Championship but as of now that is a singles match between Zepp and Beb. I need to step away from competing in the squared circle to concentrate on other projects; But what of the power that I hold in my hands? People forget that I still have some shares left in the ownership here that I got from Rob.



The crowd are giving him mixed reactions.



FRANK WINDSOR: I have sorted that and have something exciting to announce but that’ll be coming in the coming weeks. But I digress. I have to announce our Main Event for the next Anarchy Show. It will involve the current RSW Tag Champions the Filth Factory. They will be in a match next week and IF they manage to get passed Anderson and Parsons the tag belts will be on the line. Who are their opponents I hear you ask.



The crowd start chanting Who?



FRANK WINDSOR: Well Shane Mitchell still has his rematch clause don’t you know? Well he is going to have it BUT this time he won’t be coming alone. No, I think people will love to see who he is tagging with. It will be the Filth Factory against Shane Mitchell and…………



He pauses.



FRANK WINDSOR: …………………..LEX COLLINS!



The arena erupts in cheers.



FRANK WINDSORS: And that’s not all, The guy that has managed to weasel his way into the main event tonight has got a match to. Erik Black, he thinks that he’s untouchable. Well he’s going to be going one on one with Andi Snow!!!!! And if you manage to grab that belt later on tonight it’ll be for the gold!!!!! Now let’s get on with the show!!!!



He turns and walks back through the curtain.



TOMMY ONIONS: OMG!



JOSEPH GREER: What was that about?

[vastrix]

BOB MOONEY: This next match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…



Country boy can Survive begins. Once the lyrics begin Cowboy Brantly Hughes comes walking out in torn up blue jeans and a country music top with the sleeves cut off. He carries a beer bottle in one hand and holds on to a guitar that is slung over his shoulder with the rest.



BOB MOONEY: From Dallas, Texas… weighing in at 250 pounds… he is THE COWBOY, BRANTLEY HUGHES!!!



He walks around the ring stopping at all four post to take a swig of the brew before setting the bottle on the barricade and raising the guitar to the cheers of the crowd. He then turns towards the ring, rolls in and raises it once again.



JOSEPH GREER: Brantley Hughes looks pumped up tonight! This is going to be an interesting matchup…



TOMMY ONIONS: Really?! Urghhhh just shut up. This guy looks like he belongs in a Village People tribute band.



JOSEPH GREER: Haha, what?!



TOMMY ONIONS: *Sigh* Shut up.



BOB MOONEY: And his opponent…



The house lights go down as colorful lights start flashing all around the area. “Desire” by Meg Myers begins to play, as Lilith appears at the top of the entrance ramp. She is wearing a black miniskirt, burgundy leggings, an extremely tight low cut tank top and black leather heeled ankle boots.



TOMMY ONIONS: Hot momma! Now this is what I’m talking about!



Lilith takes a few steps down the entrance ramp as the crowd give her a mixed reaction not really sure how to welcome the newcomer. Before Bob Mooney can introduce her though she stops in place and holds up her arm, her music immediately cuts off as she pulls a microphone out of her bra.



LILITH: Ummmmmm… Hi!



Again Lilith gets a mixed reaction from the live crowd.



LILITH: Yeah shut up I don’t care what any of you has to say or thinks! You’re all as yucky and slimey and gross as that stupid little cowboy down there! AND LOOK HOW STUPID HE LOOKS!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!



Lilith points and laughs hard at her opponent as the crowd begin to boo her more. Lilith just shrugs her shoulders as she steps closer down towards the ring.



LILITH: Soooooooo here’s the thing… I knows that all you silly little bears out there are like SUPER excited to see Lilo make her worlds greatest and bestest wrestler debut EVER tonight…



TOMMY ONIONS: I know I am! That girl is fine as hell!



LILITH: But see I am afraids I gots a confession to make… see in all my super excitedness and happifulness, being here and dressing up all purdy, and with all the super fun flashy lights and music and stuffs… I kinda forgots ONE kinda important thing that… ummmmm… may ruin the plans for tonight! I… errrrrrr… well Mistah Cowboy I dunno how to tells you this stuff…



Lilith steps even closer down towards the ring and walks around it, leaning up against the exterior barrier. A few pervy fans behind her obviously try their hardest to look down her top but Lilith doesn’t notice, luckily enough for them.



LILITH: And I gotta admit you look super cute tonight and stuffs with your super gay little cowboy outfit and stuffs… but see… I just gotta be honest here cos one thing you gotta learns about me is that Lilo NEVER tells lies… tis the truths! But anyway the thing is… I actually dont got a blues clues how to even PLAY wrestler!



JOSEPH GREER: Hahaha, what? What did she just say?! She’s not a trained wrestler?! What is she even thinking being here in the first place then? What was Armand Von Krauss thinking hiring her…



TOMMY ONIONS: I can think of two reasons why he hired her… well, actually… i can think of several reasons. Oh baby!



JOSEPH GREER: Urgh, you’re disgusting.



Lilith pulls a very sad face up at Cowboy Brantley Hughes as he was busy talking with the referee, most likely asking him what he should do if what Lilith had just said was true.



LILITH: Yeahhhhh… I’m afraid tis all truths. Not a single time has Lilo stepped into a wrestler ring. Not a blues clue what I’d even do in one to be honest. But see… bestest bit about being me is the fact that EVERY bear wants to be my friend! And as such… whilst Lilo dont got a clues what she’s doing… THAT clue little red fur does!



Lilith points up behind Brantley Hughes as an extremely attractive redheaded woman slides into the ring. A wicked grin immediately spreads across Liliths face as she watches on.



JOSEPH GREER: What— Who is that?!



TOMMY ONIONS: I have no idea but damn this has got to be my lucky night! Only ten minutes into the show and two smoking hot women right here! I wonder if the redhead is single?



JOSEPH GREER: For once can you PLEASE try and be prof—- OH MY GOD!!! She just kicked him right in his… OH MY GOD THAT HAD TO HURT!!!



TOMMY ONIONS: Kicked him right in his balls, you can say it. Damn she really is my kind of woman!



In the ring the redheaded woman is already on top of Brantley Hughes unleashing extremely hard left and rights right into his face, he tries his hardest to cover up but the redhead just attacks him even harder in an uncontrollable flury until he begins to lose consciousness.



JOSEPH GREER: Damnit somebody stop this! That man is defenseless!



The referee attempts to step in but Lilith has now stepped into the ring and PUSHES him hard across the ring, causing him to fall hard against the turnbuckle. The referee attempts to come back towards the women but Lilith gives him evil looks as the crowd begin to boo the two women extremely loudly, Brantley Hughes now a beaten bloodied mess. The redhead looks extremely happy with herself as she takes a step back allowing Lilith to get down to his level right into his face, berating him.



LILITH: See the thing is… I heards ALLLLLLLL December long how Imma be fighting a stupid little jobber bear in the freaking jobber bear match… and you knows what?! They were ABSOLUTELY RIGHT! But the problem is Lilo is no jobber bear. Lilo is the greatest and bestest person to EVER step foot into this ring… AND I ONLY JUST DID IT FOR THE FIRST TIME!!! Soooooo you see you ugly little Texas Cowboy homo bear… this is really nothing personal. This stuffs right here is more of a message to adorable little Almond or whatever the heck bears his name is! That message being that I am Lilith and I AM NO JOBBER BEAR!!! YOU PUT ME IN JOBBER BEAR MATCHES… THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS!!!



At this point Lilith looked up innocently at the redhead, she knew what to do.



LILITH: Chey Bear… break it!



JOSEPH GREER: Break it?! What?! Damnit someone get security down here!!!



The redhead known as “Chey Bear” nods her head to Lilith and steps back over Brantley Hughes fallen body, yanking his arm up into the air…



JOSEPH GREER: OH MY GOD SHES GOING TO BREAK HIS DAMN ARM!!! DAMNIT WHERE ARE SECURITY?!!!



The redhead has locked in an armbar as the man screams out in absolute agony. It doesnt take too long before an extremely loud CRACK can be heard as his arm SNAPS practically in half! Lilith bursts out laughing as she encourages the redhead to carry on, the man now passed out on the canvas floor due to all the pain he was feeling.



LILITH: I think we can start this match now… what do you think Mistah Referee?! Hahahaha!



JOSEPH GREER: Start the match?! Really?! The man has a damn broken arm!



TOMMY ONIONS: Yeah… even I have to admit that this is a bit much…



Lilith walks over to the referee and gets right into his face, terrifying the poor man.



LILITH: I SAID START THE FUCKING MATCH!!! RIGHT NOW!!!



Lilith practically growls in the referees face and leaves him no choice but to tell the time keeper to start the match.



DING… DING… DING!!!



Lilith continues to laugh to herself as she once again asks her companion to move out of the way as she steps over towards the completely destroyed body of Brantley Hughes.



CRACK!!!



Lilith BOOTS the cowboy HARD in his face, instantly breaking his nose and sending blood scattered across the canvas floor. She then places one of her boot heels onto his head and puts all of her pressure into it crushing him into the canvas. She then glares at the referee wanting him to make the three count. Fearing for his life the referee does as she wants, getting down onto the canvas.



ONE…



TWO…



THREE!!!



BOB MOONEY: Errrr… the winner of the match… LILITH!!!



JOSEPH GREER: This is… I… I don’t even know what to say about this!



TOMMY ONIONS: Lilith just won her debut match! You should say congratulations!



JOSEPH GREER: Congratulations?! You have got to be fuc—



TOMMY ONIONS: LANGUAGE!!!



Lilith begins to celebrate as if she had just won the World Title as the redhead reaches into her pocket and pulls out a handful of cockroaches. She immediately shoves them into her mouth and crunches down on a few of them, most of them falling onto Brantleys unconscious body, the bugs scattering across the canvas.



JOSEPH GREER: Did she just eat what I think she did?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE TWO?!!



TOMMY ONIONS: Yeah… I think that’s turned me off right there… that, or i’m oddly aroused.



JOSEPH GREER: Oh shut up! Can we please cut to commercial?!



Lilith and the redheaded bug eater continue to celebrate in their own way, as “Chey Bear” picks up Brantley Hughes and throws him over the top rope and out of their sight. Another wave of boos hit them and some fans even throw their trash at them as the women continue to celebrate, taunting the crowd as they do so.

[vastrix]

We can see Senor Vinnie sitting in the ring in a Santa Claus costume and cactus Pete is wearing an elf hat and some fake ears stuck to the side of it’s cactus head. There’s Mariah Carey’s All I want for Christmas is you blaring on the background and some kids are standing around the ring, hoping to get to sit on Santas lap as he has a sack of presents next to him as well.



JOSEPH GREER: Oh I hope he is going to read all five hundred letters I wrote!!!



TOMMY ONIONS: Five hundred letters????



JOSEPH GREER: Well to be honest?? I typed the letter once and printed it out five hundred times?? And then I had some officials bribed to mail it for me. So I am positive at least one of those letters will get through!!!



TOMMY ONIONS: Oh boy….



SENOR VINNIE: Ho ho ho…. Merry almost fucking Christmas you kiddos and moms as well!! Oh and I guess the dads too if they are around. This is Santa Vinnie and today I am going to read out letters as well as have some of you sit on my knee and ask me for what you want for Christmas….



TOMMY ONIONS: Santa Vinnie??



SANTA VINNIE: The first letter that I got… well the first and second and all the way to five freaking hundred!!!



JOSEPH GREER: Yes!! He got my letters!!!!



SANTA VINNIE: Is from Tommy Onions….,



JOSEPH GREER: What?!!!!



TOMMY ONIONS: Well I figured better too much than have to listen to you brag about how he read your letter before mine!!!!



SANTA VINNIE: Dear Vinnie…, that of course has to be Santa Vinnie for you bad boy Tommy. I would like to ask you how you are feeling about your stay in RSW???



Santa Vinnie looks at the camera and shakes his head in disbelief.



SANTA VINNIE: What do you mean?? I just got here, I have some brats sitting around ringside and you want to know how I am feeling about this place??? Don’t you have any freaking wishes???



TOMMY ONIONS: Just read on in your letter Santa Vinnie.



SANTA VINNIE: But of course after I had to endure massive migraine from reading how you wished I was your BFF and how I have touched your heart with kindness and yadda yadda yadda….



TOMMY ONION: That wasn’t in the letter!!!



SANTA VINNIE: After bragging about the size of his johnson…, he finally asks me if he could have a special made vintage “I love cactus” Vinnie t shirt. And I just looked at myself and realized that it is the holiday season and everyone is in a good mood. I have decided to grant him his wish and hand him the very first ever Santa Vinnie Ho ho ho shirt.



TOMMY ONIONS: Oh Wow!!!! Thank you Santa!!!



Santa Vinnie is looking around ringside and sees a fat kid and a gorgeous mother standing around the corner of the ring. He motions for them to come into the ring. The fat kid stumbles into the ring and that causes some reaction from the crowd as Senor Vinnie gets up and walks over to the kid and helps him to his feet before checking out the mother and winking at her… causing her to react in an awkward way



SANTA VINNIE: Now little fella, what do you want from Santa for Christmas??



FAT KID: I want a PS4 Santa…,



Santa Vinnie looks at him and then grabs something from the mail bag and hands a jump rope.



FAT KID: But Santa?? This isn’t a PS4???



SANTA VINNIE: I know, but Santa is having to sell his ride to make it through the holidays, seeing as you kids want more expensive presents every year!!!



FAT KID: But….,



SANTA VINNIE: Time’s up kid, do you want something from Santa ma’am???



MOTHER: Oh hell no!!!



She attempts to smack Santa Vinnie, but the man ducks her punch and she walks off pissed.



SANTA VINNIE: Your loss hun, I….



Suddenly “Desire” by Meg Myers begins to play and interrupts Vinnie who looks pretty angry from this happening. RSW newcomer, Lilith, smiles brightly as she practically skips down to the ring. She glares at a few nearby fans who are booing her before climbing up into the ring and grabbing a microphone off one of the RSW staff members on the outside of the ring. Lilith begins to pace back and forth a little bit, smiling down at Vinnie and his cactus a few times as she does so.



LILITH: Soooooo you’re the Vinnie Bear I heards sooooooo much about!



SANTA VINNIE: Hey you weren’t supposed—



Lilith quickly places her hand right into Vinnies face, shutting him up.



LILITH: SHUT UP! Do you know who I am… Santa?! IF THAT EVEN IS YOUR REAL NAME!!!



SANTA VINNIE: No, I—



LILITH: SHUT UP!!! See Santa, I has been a very VERY naughty girl. You probably gots me right on your naughty list and EVERYTHING! But see I am just sooooooooo grrrrrr right now cos some stupid stinky little YUCK FACE thinks he can just copy cat EVERYTHING about me! But see just like EVERYTHING I do… Imma better than him at EVERYTHING he does too! I mean talking to a plant?! What the heck bears sort of nonsense talk is that! Who you thinks you are… Vinnie Bear— errrrrr… I mean… SANTA BEAR?!!! You think you’re Poison Ivy or something?! Yes? No? You don’t know?! SHUT UP!!! Shes wayyyyyyyyyy cuter than you’ll EVER be!!!



Santa Vinnie is clearly surprised by all of this, the aggression that Lilith is showing especially surprising to him. But he quickly remembers that he has a bag full of presents and returns the favor towards Lilith



SANTA VINNIE: So you been a naughty girl huh?? Well i got my naughty list right here!!!



He pushes himself away from Lilith and grabs a piece of paper that says “shopping list” upside down. He supposedly reads all the way through it until he finds the name he was “searching” for.



SANTA VINNIE: Lilith, let’s see what this sho… err naughty list tells me… hmmmm, yes?? Hmmm interesting…. Yess….. Well isn’t that interesting???



Lilith looks at him confused



SANTA VINNIE: According to this list have you fulfilled the criteria to be a good little girl… so i have a teddy bear for you.



Lilith gasps and holds her hands over her mouth jumping up and down with joy, instantly her anger from just a few moments ago has vanished just as quickly as it appeared.



LILITH: You… got me… a new friend?! Oh my god! OH MY GOD!!! OH MY GOD!!!!



Lilith charges over to Santa Vinnie and THROWS herself right on top of him, throwing herself at him so hard that the two of them nearly fall onto the floor behind them. She settles down on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck and grinning extremely brightly at him.



LILITH: I am sooooooooo sorry for going Grrrrrrr on you a second ago, Santa Bear. I didnt mean it! No one has ever got me ANYTHING before…



Santa Vinnie is grinning from ear to ear as he is stares back at this clearly deranged person, he wraps his arms around her and is prepares his “next” move



SANTA VINNIE: Well I knew that of course, i mean I am Santa Vinnie and HE knows everything!! And seeing as you are giving something that nobody else around this ring could or would give me, makes me want to grant you another wish… But, only if you give me a little kiss.



Santa Vinnie closes his eyes and puckers his lips in anticipation of what is coming next. Lilith immediately gets off of Santa Vinnies lap and walks over to what she assumes is the santa sack filled with presents. Santa Vinnie just remains in place keeping his eyes closed in anticipation.



LILITH: You stay right there, Santa Bear… I’m just making myself look all purdy and stuff! Tisnt every day that a girl gets to have a Christmas kiss you know!



She practically yanks the sack open and begins to look inside of it searching for the bear he had just told her about. After several minutes of searching she comes out of the sack empty handed, not a single bear was in there. Lilith immediately fills back up with anger, picks up the sack and THROWS it hard right at Santa Vinnie this time actually causing him to fall over right onto his back. Lilith storms over to him and angrily growls right into his face.



LILITH: YOU LIED TO ME!!! YOU TOLD ME YOU HAD A BEAR IN THERE!!! YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT LIARS?!! AND PEOPLE WHO DOES MEAN STUFFS TO ME?!!



Lilith reaches over and grabs hold of Cactus Pete, lifting it up into the air, her grip on it so tight that her knuckles begin to turn white.



LILITH: THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS YOU JERK FACED MEANIE!!!



Senor Vinnie shakes his head as he looks up and sees Cactus Pete in Liliths grip. Lilith continues to go bezerk and Vinnies eyes pop out in shock as he realizes Pete is in danger. He lifts his hands upwards and attempts to stop her.



SANTA VINNIE: Noo!!! Stop wait!! Of course this sack is empty!!! Do you think I am that stupid to enter an entire arena of beggars, thieves and other criminals??? Of course not!! I just wanted to give you a receipt where you can collect your teddy bear backstage!!! You only had to give me a kiss you stupid wench!!!



Senor Vinnie tries to sit up but is unable due to the weight of Lilith on top of him



SANTA VINNIE: Some gratitude for Santa after I promised you a teddy bear!! You are going to be back on the naughty list if you don’t give Santa some lovin!!!



Lilth looks at the cactus she is holding, not having a clue why the weird Santa Bear liked it so much and then glares back down at the man who was now literally beneath her boot.



LILITH: I hate you, I hate peoples like you… AND I hate this STUPID PLANT WHATEVER THE HECK IT IS SUPPOSED TO EVEN BE!!! This is ALL your fault you stupid JERK FACE how stupid do you think I am to believe theres actually a bear back there for me?! YOU CAN GO SCREW YOURSELF AND SHOVE YOUR STUPID LIST RIGHT UP YOUR ASS!!!



And with that Lilith SLAMS the cactus down onto the canvas, soil flying everywhere and some of the cactus comes loose and rolls away from the rest of it. Lilith steps onto the loose parts of the plant, grinding them into the canvas and steps away from Santa Vinnie, rage and hate flowing through her.



SANTA VINNIE: Pete!!!



He immediately attempts to get every piece of the cactus together in the hope of getting it all back together before turning his face towards Lilith. He reaches inside his pocket and grabs a receipt that reads Bears R Us and holds it as close as possible towards Lilith and has an angry look on his face.



SANTA VINNIE: This bear is going to be for whoever is a nice girl to Santa Vinnie!! You just messed up Lilith!!! All because you could not just let yourself just kiss the lips of Santa Vinnie and make it all alright!! I curse you, Lilith, I curse you with the Curse of Christmas!!!! Now get out of my ring!!!!!



Lilith just stands still, rising an eyebrow at the man. She then bursts out laughing and points right at him whilst doing so.



LILITH: Curse of Christmas??? How stupid do you think Lilo is?! What you gonna do… throw a cactus at me?! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!



Vinnie gets up and wipes his outfit while grinning at Lilith as he points at her with vengeance



SANTA VINNIE: Oh no Lilith, the joke is on you this time!!! Because as i told you, Santa knows all!! And he knows that tonight someone is going to make you even more angry than Santa Vinnie just did!! And you will remember that it is going to be all YOUR fault!!! Just because you did not want that teddy bear!!!!



Vinnie angrily points at Lilith and continues to curse the brunette as he exits the ring with cactus Pete in hand.



SANTA VINNIE: Christmas show is over folks!! Get a life!!!!



Lilith just stands in the middle of the ring, staring at the weird Santa who had apparently just cursed her. She just shook her head in disbelief as she too went to leave the ring.



LILITH: Curse of Christmas?! YEAH FREAKING RIGHT!! Whatever you say Captain Crazy Pants!



Lilith slowly walks up the entrance ramp looking quite concerned as we cut to commercial.

[vastrix]

RioTron Lights up and painted Knucks is walking backstage with two midgets that are wearing duster coats. Knucks is wearing his Filth Factory skull paint and he has on his black military pants and boots. He has on a zip up awoken hoodie on. The three are making their way through the back.



KNUCKS: God Damn it pick up the pace and let’s go…



Knucks and the two midgets walk around a corner and Lilith is backstage heading towards them. Lilith is completely oblivious to them all though as she walks happily down the corridor, watching a funny cat video on her mobile phone, her teddy bear in her other hand.



LILITH: Teddy you really gotta watch this stuffs… its soooooo funny! Hahahaha!



Lilith practically walks straight into Knucks as she was so oblivious to her surroundings. Knucks immediately recognises her as Lilith just continues to look a little bit confused as to what is going on.



KNUCKS: What the fuck is this… is it Special Needs night here at AnarChristmas???



MIDGET 1: I dont think so…



MIDGET 2: I think she is a wrestler…



KNUCKS: No way this bitch works here.



Lilith stares straight at Knucks for several moments, looking down at the two midgets briefly and then back up at Knucks. Finally an extremely wide grin spreads across her flawlessly made up face, she was clearly making an effort tonight.



LILITH: OH… MY… GOD BEAR!!! You’re that homeless bear I saw’d on tweeter before arent you! Yeah! YEAH!!!



Lilith steps right up to Knucks and pokes him super hard in his chest.



LILITH: You’re the meanie faced jerk bear who was all grrrrrrr and mean to my friend Snowy! ITS NOT HER FAULT SHE’S ALL EASY AND STUFFS YOU JERK FACE!!! You need to be nice to adorable little snowflakes like her!



KNUCKS: PLEASE LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE SCRUB… You fucking Jobbers shouldn’t even be allowed backstage after you test out the ring. WAIT you’re friends with that whore?



Lilith continues to grin at Knucks as she shrugs her shoulders a little bit.



LILITH: Well… I wouldn’t really say shes my FRIEND… shes just some bear who lives in my toy box. We arent close like me and Magical Kitty are close! Ohhhhh he totally prefers me over you by the way! I should totally tells you that stuffs. Sorry to be the one to tell you the bad news and stuffs…



KNUCKS: Be careful who you call a friend is this place… and most important stay the fuck out AWOKEN business and you might just make a few dollars. Salem doesnt like you fuck he doesn’t even know who you are… we honestly thought you was some 12 year old special needs kid on twitter. But now I realize your an Adult? But my advice to stay out Awoken way is dead serious… and lose the fucking bear its creepy as fuck.



Lilith wasnt listening, or even paying attention. She simply felt way too sorry for Knucks right now as she pulled an upside down frown at him, patting him gently on his what seemed like huge shoulders.



LILITH: Tis okayz, Knuckles, I knows better than any bear-dy that rejection is super tough. Tis okayz I’m sure you’ll make good friends eventually! Anywayyyyyy I gots to go now. Have fun with the…. Ummmmm… midget porn? Or whatever this is…



Lilith points at the midgets and makes a disgusted face at Knucks before skipping away down the corridor.



KNUCKS: And people wonder why the fuck I drink so much… I feel {Mongo Edit: Nah we don't say that anymore} just for talking to that bitch… Lets go ompa Loompas…



They reach a door and head outside. The camera continues to follow them as Knucks and company reach an RSW Trailer. Knucks opens the door and he walks in.



KNUCKS: Listen up nerds…. My Ompa Loompas with me are here to hijack this mother fucker… so listen Up…. I need the microphones to the the commentary crew cut….I am giving the RSW fans an early christmas gift.



The midgets open up their jackets and it was what looks like bombs tapped to their body. The people in the sound truck quickly respond.



The Camera turns ring side and we see the announcer team.



TOMMY ONIONS: This is………………………..



Tommy Microphone isn’t working the others try as well and nothing.



The camera cuts back to the sound trailer and Knucks is gone but the two midgets are still in the trailer with the bombs. And they are watching very close at what they are doing.

[vastrix]

P.E. Raise Hell starts playing as the arena lights dim and and a video plays of awoken accomplishments and match highlights. As the video ends we see a live feed where Knucks, Salem, and Erik Black are sitting at a table and they have microphones on the table. The music stops and the RioTron stays on these three men.



KNUCKS: Ladies and Gentlemen, we would like to welcome you to Awokens very own broadcast of the following match!! My name is Anthony Knucks Stevenson… And we have hijacked the airwave for this match.



SALEM: I’m your boy, Salem Shepard, and this match is going to be less sucky now that Awoken is calling it!!



ERIK: Well, you must know who I am, I’m Erik fuckin Black, the best in the business… let’s get this match started cause I have shit to do and bitches to fuck.



BOB MOONEY: This next match is scheduled for one fall! Featuring first, …Senor Vinnie!!!!



Epic Metalachi begins playing as Senor Vinnie walks out from the back to the cheering of the fans. He swaps exchanges with a few in the crowd and a group of fans hand him letters and ask them to read them on his next session. He makes his way down to the ring, rolling under the bottom rope.



KNUCKS: This dude is bat shit crazy…



SALEM: I heard him arguing with himself earlier backstage…



ERIK: This dude is the first person to ever try to go from being American to a mexican…



KNUCKS: I think the proper term is Wexican.



SALEM: Yeah if a wigger is a wanna be black… a Wexican would make perfect sense.



BOB MOONEY: And From Dallas Texas,



“Evil Walks” by AC/DC plays as Steve Murdock walks down to the ring with his kendo stick on his shoulder to the boos from the fans. He pays them no mind as he places the kendo stick in his corner and rolls into the ring.



BOB MOONEY: Steve Muuuuuurrrrrdooockkk!!!!



Murdock Rushes Vinnie throwing rights and lefts, Vinnie Covers up but is being overwhelmed.



SALEM: This dude….



ERIK: sucks…



SALEM: I was going to say he brought his pinata stick to bash the pinata named Vinnie.



KNUCKS: Well $100 says Vinnie wins even though I want him to lose.



Vinnie goes low for a double leg takedown but catches several elbows to the temple that stagger him to his knees. Steve runs to opposing ropes and rebounds looking to connect a running knee but vinnie rolls him up in a school boy getting a one count. Both men to their feet and Vinnie ducks a wild right hand going behind nailing Steve with not one but three beautiful belly to back suplexs.



SALEM: This mother fucker just hit three, um..uuhhh….



KNUCKS: …Yeah, three big slam things.



ERIK: Belly to Back Suplexes … Isn’t Kevin teaching you anything? Or are you daydreaming about Poison?



Vinnie then goes to the corner and begins to take off the turnbuckle pad as the referee checks on Murdock. Steve makes it to his feet and nails The mariachi from behind with a closeline sending him chest first into the exposed turnbuckle. Vinnie rolls out of the ring as Murdock spits venom in the fake Mexicans direction.



KNUCKS: If you really want to know.. Master School of Wrestling is the finest Institute in the US or fucking anywhere. If you want to wrestle like a pro then give them a call at 1-800-Mas-Ters…. Make you tell them Knucks sent you and receive a 15% discount.



ERIK: What the fuck?? You doing commercials now?



SALEM: Well were good at them…. Plus, Kevin promised us $5,000 each time we bring them up on the ppv.



ERIK: Well shit, tonight’s match is brought to you by the letters E and B and Master SChool Of Wrestling.



KNUCKS: CHA CHING…. Dude, Venom went for the spit shit and that mother fucker Vinnie rolled out of the way.



Steve rolls out of the ring, where Vinnie is hunckered by the ring skirt. Steve reaches down to pick the man up but is nailed with a Violin shattering it every where



KNUCKS: DAMMMMNNN!



ERIK: The ref was fixing the turnbuckle and Steve just got Fiddled to death.



SALEM: Um Erik…. I think that is a violen..



KNUCKS: Who cares what it was… that shit was awesome. Way to take advantage of the distracted ref…



SALEM: Remember fans you to can take advantage of the 15% off discount when you go online to MastersSchoolofWrestling.com and sing up. Tell them Knucks sent you.



Vinnie rolls Steve Murdock back into the ring and goes for a pin, the ref finishes putting the pad back on the turnbuckle before going in for the count. Murdock kicks out at 2 and vinnie can’t believe it!



SALEM: See, the distracted Ref missed the attack… but he also was late to the party.



ERIK: Looking at these two Idiots in the ring, there’s a reason neither of them got invited to parties.



KNUCKS: Steve Murdock, Growin up in the New England…



SALEM: I think this [Nah, Bro is from Texas Dog.



KNUCKS: Well thanks for letting me know… well, in Texas, he was known for great basketball skills and how he rebounded the ball…



ERIK: This dude is like one inch taller than the midgets you keep hiring for that Filth Factory shit!



Vinnie misses a stomp and Steve is back to his feet and pissed. He nails left and right on Vinnie’s midsection pushing him to the corner. He follows up with several short arm clotheslines, before the Ref pulls him off the marachi man.



SALEM: This might get interesting…



ERIK: Yeah I wouldn’t count on it…



KNUCKS: The referee is trying to be a sanctuary city for the Wexican….that is illegally in the RSW.



ERIK: Those short clotheslines were effective… maybe Rob Riot and Shane could learn something from this match.



It was at that moment that Midget dressed up as ICE Enforcement officers (immigration customs enforcement) and they make their way towards the ring. Erik Black grabs a microphone for the arena and he screams into the microphone.



ERIK: Immigrations… Immigration… Amigos run mother fucker run.



Vinnie looks outs and sees the ICE officers and he rolls out of the ring and starts running from the midget. They tackle Vinnie as the referee starts counting.



1..







2..







3..







4..







5..







6..



Just then a midget dressed as the donkey from the democratic party comes out and two other midgets come out and fight with ICE officers and the donkey throws vinnie back in the ring. The ref was up to 9.



Steve kicks Vinnie in the face as he goes to stand up. Vinnie hand covers his mouth.



KNUCKS: Damn Democrats are destroying all the fun again.



SALEM: Was that Nancy Pelosi bitch ass?



ERIK: Vinnie just got kicked in the face he was not granted sanctuary today.



Vinnie is back to his feet and is locking up with Steve and he whips him into the ropes. Steve Murdock bounces off the rope. Steve face snaps back as Vinnie delivers a big boot to the face. Steve drops to the mat and Vinnie spits a little blood from his mouth from the kick earlier.



SALEM: Goddddd DAMN that kick knocked that mother fuckers head off.



ERIK: That fucking hurt my face.



KNUCKS: What happened?



ERIK: Well put your phone down and pay attention.



KNUCKS: Candy was bitching said something about being late… but we didn’t even have a date today? I think she is crabby because her period hasn’t come.



SALEM: Dude i thought you pulled and prayed…



KNUCKS: I do but what does that have to do with her being late……… OH SHIT.



Vinnie meanwhile has set Steve Murdock in the corner he locks up hammerlock ddt and sends Steve back to the ground. Steve is laying on the ground laying face down and Vinnie walks over him and drops down on his back. Vinnie locks on the Mariachi Recliner.



ERIK: Steves night is almost over… Much like the title run of the old man with the title.



SALEM: Senior Vinnie is almost earning my respect tonight…but then I realize he is facing a jober.



KNUCKS: When will Senior Vinnie face a star like… um… what’s that dudes name we hate?



The referee is checking on Steve but Vinnie lets go of the hold and picks him back up and delivers another DDT on Steve.



ERIK: Frank Windsor?



SALEM: Shane Mitchell



ERIK: BoB old man?



SALEM: JOE BEB?



ERIK: ANDI SNOW



KNUCKS: No its John Something…



Steve is slowly getting back to his feet and Vinnie is circling around the ring and he grabs steve and throws him into the corner. Vinnie kicks him a few times as Steve slides down and his head is on the bottom rope section of the turnbuckle.



KNUCKS: JOHN HAVOK… I hate that fucker. Let’s set up a match between John Havok and Vinnie.



ERIK: We took over the commentary not the match selections…



SALEM: Maybe we should do that… this place needs more Awoken highlights…



Vinnie is Dropping knees to the face of Steve as his face is bouncing off of the rope… Senor Vinnie picks up steve and drags him to the center of the ring. He Locks one arm of Steves between his legs. Vinnie grabs the arm and locks on his RINGS OF MARIACHI in the center of the ring. Steve is out cold the ref check on Steve and calls for the bell.



BOB MOONEY: the winner of the match by referee decision awording a KO is Senor Vinnie!!!!!



KNUCKS: Well folks at this time we are going to turn the talking people…



ERIK: Commentary…



SALEM: Dude you really need to learn this stuff.



Senor Vinnie is holding his hands up as EPIC, METALACHI plays in the arena and he rolls out of the ring and makes his way towards the back. Steve Murdock is being looked at by the medical team inside the ring.

[vastrix]

We return to ringside, as the camera pans to announcers Joseph Greer and Tommy Onions.



JOSEPH GREER: What a night it’s been already, folks, but I’m afraid our next match has an official change. As we expected earlier, Frank Winsdor will not be competing in the next match.



TOMMY ONIONS: Awh, but I only showed up to see FRANK!



JOSEPH GREER: You get paid to be here, lamebrain. We take it Bob Mooney for introductions.



BOB MOONEY: Ladies and gentlemen, the next contest is scheduled for One Fall, and will decide the #1 contender for the RSW Legacy Championship. First, from San Diego, California, and weighing 230 pounds… ‘The All Seeing’… ISAIAH ZEPP!



A short guitar screech leads to the thrashing of ATD-I’s “Governed By Contagions”, and a blinding white light engulfs the whole arena. After a full twenty seconds, Isaiah Zepp steps foot onto the stage like a silhouette in the lights. He paces down to the ring in his signature hooded black sweatshirt (this time reading “Unlike The Government, Never Shut Down”). He rolls into the ring and raises a fist to a raucous but mixed reaction. Isaiah uncovers one ear from his hood and beckons North Carolina to get louder, before he grabs a microphone.



ISAIAH ZEPP: Greetings, Fort Bragg… And a very Merry Pagan Holiday of your choosing. I still have to deliver my present to one naughty individual who is fashionably late. But I have word he’s ready now, so ladies and gentlemen, I introduce my special guest, chaperoned by our own Big Ass Hank… Senator Monty Peterson!



Another mixed reaction welcomes Montgomery Peterson as Hank guides him forcefully down the aisle and to a ringside seat next to fans that are mostly Zepp supporters, except for one empty seat.



JOSEPH GREER: Word circulating on the news is that the Senator tried to down a crowded plane just to kill Isaiah Zepp, and he and his BSE are suddenly facing a lot more evidence to the crimes that Isaiah has accused.



TOMMY ONIONS: But you still think Zepp is no good just like me right?! I’m still smart for hating him, right?!



JOSEPH GREER: I don’t know, Tommy. I just don’t know… At least the BSE goons didn’t come with Peterson today, as they agreed.



ISAIAH ZEPP: While I only gave you one ticket, Monty, my real surprise is that I bought two, and no it’s not for Hank. I found someone to truly FIX that Christmas spirit in you, even though he’s quite BROKEN. I give to you… Kevin Rouser!



The crowd is shocked as Kevin Rouser runs down the rampway in his wrestling tights, laughing maniacally with his arms extended! He walks two laps around the whole ring laughing with the fans until he hops over the barricade to the seat next to Montgomery. He stands on his chair and dances around, his crotch hovering closely to the senator’s face, while Peterson wretches in disgust.



TOMMY ONIONS: Stupid sexy Rouser!



JOSEPH GREER: What?



BOB MOONEY: And his opponent, from… Oregon, and weighing 235 pounds… ‘LUCKY’ JOE BEB!



“Party Rock Anthem” by LMFAO signals the entrance of Joe Beb, who saunters out to the ring in worse condition than usual. He clutches a fanny pack close to his body, as the contents are apparently precious cargo.



JOSEPH GREER: Joe Beb isn’t quite his usual self after losing his sponsorship of Vi-… Actually, I’m now being told we cannot say the company’s name or we’ll get sued.



TOMMY ONIONS: Can we say boner medicine?



JOSEPH GREER: Sadly, yes, I think we can.



TOMMY ONIONS: Awesome!



The bell rings, and with Isaiah still wearing his hooded sweatshirt, he gives a less than amused expression toward Lucky. He motions to referee Shawna Savante is this all he gets.



JOSEPH GREER: Isaiah was more looking forward to facing Windsor tonight, but he shouldn’t let that take his focus away. This is still for a title shot.



Isaiah halfheartedly raises his arms for a tieup, but Joe Beb grabs the hoodie and pulls Isaiah into a schoolboy rollup!



ONE! Joe grabs Isaiah’s tights with the other hand.



TWO! Joe puts his feet on the middle rope.



THRE- Isaiah barely kicks out!



TOMMY ONIONS: Oooh, the snowflake almost paid for it there!



Isaiah can hear Senator Peterson laughing from ringside, and he grits his teeth and charges at Beb. However, Lucky grabs his hair and throws him into an ugly headlock takedown. The referee admonishes a five count for the hair pulling, and Joe lets go. When the two men rise, Isaiah reverses another try into a headlock of his own. Joe Beb scrambles for the ropes, and after Isaiah releases, Joe accuses him of doing the hair pulling this time. Shawna has to remind Joe that he has no hair. Way to hurt a man’s feelings, he says, and then delivers a cheap shot to Isaiah’s gut. He scoops up Zepp for a bodyslam and hits the ropes for a falling headbutt, but Isaiah rolls out of the way. Joe stands up and slaps his head to mitigate the pain and hits the ropes again. Zepp rolls the other way to dodge a second headbutt attempt. Beb is up again and wobbly, but he stomps on Isaiah a few times before hitting the ropes for a third attempt, which is also dodged! Beb regains his footing once more, but he collapses into the ropes before he can try again.



JOSEPH GREER: Lucky has done more damage to himself than Isaiah, I’m afraid.



TOMMY ONIONS: Ehh he don’t need those brain cells anyway.



Zepp is up and finally removes his sweatshirt, and he throws it directly at Peterson as Rouser cackles with a “Yaaaassss”. Isaiah pulls Beb up and wrings his arm once, and then again. He twists harder, but is perplexed that Joe Beb doesn’t seem to register any pain. Zepp twists again, still nothing. He slaps at Lucky’s elbow, and asks why he’s missing several bones in his arm. Joe earnestly replies that it was either Ghandi or Benedict Arnold, but he can’t remember which. That makes Isaiah blink in confusion, and the momentary lapse lets Joe counter into a short-arm clothesline! He drops a knee on Zepp and grabs a chinlock.



JOSEPH GREER: Usually Zepp is the weirdest guy in a room, but he’s off his game against Beb’s experience here.



TOMMY ONIONS: Of course he’s experienced, Lucky was already in a mid-life crisis when Jesus was born!



Joe Beb cranks on the neck, but Isaiah fights up, pries the hands from his chin, and latches onto a crossface chickenwing. The odd consistency of Joe’s shoulder joint makes it tough for Zepp to clasp his hands, and Beb and is able to sneak out and apply his own chickenwing. “This is how you do it, you little whippersnapper!” Isaiah bars one of his arms to block the hold, and then twists him to the ground for a seated crossface chickenwing. Beb rolls backwards trying for a counter pin, and then locks in another chickenwing when Zepp releases his. Zepp stands and reverses again, but Joe pulls the referee in and kicks backwards for a lowblow! He tries to lock in his own crossface again, but Zepp suddenly grabs and tries a vertical suplex. He lifts him up, but then drops Beb into a bodyscissors with the crossface chickenwing. Joe rolls to his side for a ropebreak.



TOMMY ONIONS: I don’t even understand what was going on there, but it seemed hard fought and stuff.



Isaiah waits for Joe to turn around for a blistering knife edge chop that North Carolina (which is still Horsemen Country to this day) responds to with a hearty “Woo!”, even from many of his detractors in the crowd. Joe returns with a closed fist, but that’s met with a stronger chop and a louder “WOO!” Beb fights back with another punch, but a third chop sends to the mat as the arena echos with a “WOOOOO!” Zepp brings Joe up into a headscissors and drops him ribs-first with a pancake piledriver! He turns him over for a cover with two hands on the chest.



ONE!



TWO!



KICKOUT!



JOSEPH GREER: He didn’t hook a leg there, but Isaiah has finally established a little control.



Zepp bumps a fist to his heart and raises it into the air while he looks at Senator Peterson, causing his supporters and opposition to bark at him and each other. Meanwhile, Joe Beb crawls to a corner and retrieves his fanny pack, fumbling around he finds an aluminum can containing some sort of beverage. He gulps it down before Isaiah notices, and Joe begins to shake violently.



JOSEPH GREER: What the heck?



TOMMY ONIONS: Oh man, you know what that is? That’s his boner juice!



Lucky Joe Beb’s hybrid of male enhancement and energy drink courses through his veins as Isaiah walks up to him and clubs him in the back with a forearm, but Joe only shakes his head and stands up. Zepp tries another forearm, but now Joe stalks around the ring wildly flailing his arms. Now he points at Isaiah, who throws a punch that is blocked! Joe Beb throws three haymakers, and then adds three eye rakes. Isaiah winces in pain, so Joe adds a nasty back rake, and then a chest rake! Then another back rake! Then another chest rake! The crowd begins to laugh at the terrible choice of offensive moves, but Joe yells out to him as if they were all cheering him on. He climbs to the top rope, very slowly it must be said, and as Isaiah’s vision finally recovers from the eye rakes, Beb descends upon him for a dastardly, dreaded, despicable… top rope back rake! From the crowd, Kevin Rouser chortles “How absurd! Hahaha, hohohoho” laughing directly in Montgomery’s face. Zepp grits his teeth from the pain, but then is merely seething with rage as he nails Lucky with an ear clap that sends him out to the floor. Rouser applauds that as well, for whatever it’s worth.



TOMMY ONIONS: Not the ears! The poor guy probably needs hearing aids as it is.



Referee Savante tries to keep Zepp in the ring, but he follows outside and lands another chop. Peterson throws the Zepp hoodie at him, however, and Isaiah stares him down as Lucky Joe Beb lands a lucky shot to Isaiah’s jewels! He throws Zepp into the stairs and charges at him, but Isaiah manages a drop toe hold that gives Joe a mush-full of steel! Isaiah points him down and follows with a running dropkick that sandwiches Joe’s head into the corner pole! Isaiah drags Lucky in front of Peterson and tells him this is going to be him soon. Peterson tries to reach over the barricade but Rouser gives him a hug. Isaiah rolls back into the ring and acts relaxed, before he kips up and hits the opposite ropes.



JOSEPH GREER: Usually Zepp likes to do a fake-out dive here to tease his opponent…



But this isn’t one of those times. All six-foot-three of Isaiah performs a cartwheel at full speed, followed by a corkscrew plancha to the outside of the ring, aka Plan 9 From Outer Space! Joe Beb had just regained his feet, and he freezes, unable to move away…. But the dive never connects with him, as Isaiah Zepp lands into the front row of the crowd, directly onto Senator Montgomery Peterson!



JOSEPH GREER: Holy…



TOMMY ONIONS: Shit! He crushed him!



The crowd almost turns into a riot. Rouser nearly got clipped by a leg, but he seems fine as he cackles with delight. Isaiah rises to his feet and shrugs his shoulders as if he made a mistake, but his smile gives him away. Pleased with himself, he rolls over the barricade and climbs onto the apron. He gestures to the fans, garnering another loud 50/50 reaction. As he steps back into the ring, however, Joe was there waiting for him. He kicks the middle rope into Isaiah’s crotch, pulls him to the mat by his hair, cradles his neck, puts his feet on the ropes, and even sticks a finger in Zepp’s ear for good measure!



ONE!



TWO!



THREEEEEEE-kickout!



JOSEPH GREER: Another close call, but Zepp has to pay attention to Beb instead of the BSE founder.



Lucky is also aware that he’s gotta strike now while he’s got an upper hand. He goes back to the fanny pack and chugs another energy drink / romantic supplement. Suddenly he’s got a smile a mile wide, a new spring in his step, and he’s living large, so to say. He doesn’t, however, notice Isaiah sneak up to him for a reverse suplex! Zepp covers for the pin.



ONE!



Immediate kickout!



Isaiah is surprised, but he gets to his feet and follows with a jumping leg lariat and covers. It gets One, but Joe kicks out again. Isaiah continues with a running back elbow, but once more that only gets a one count!



TOMMY ONIONS: Oh jeez, he’s really thrusting those hips for each kickout, and that is not something I ever want to see again.



Isaiah is unsure how to proceed, but he can hear the ramblings of Rouser outside. “You must get weirder, yaaaassssss! More absurd! Yas!” He tries to whip Joe Beb to the corner, but that is reversed, and Lucky charges into him with a clothesline. Joe then runs to the opposite corner, and charges again for another clothesline. He does this again. And again! And again! Like a never ending locomotive, he won’t stop running toward Zepp. Isaiah finally escapes the corner, but Joe clotheslines him against the ropes instead, and he keeps charging. This time Zepp drops down at the center of the ring, and Beb hops over him. Beb keeps going, so Zepp drops again. Now Isaiah runs criss-cross with Joe and neither collide. Zepp stops after one pass, but now Joe continues to run the ropes back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth! The crowd watches him like it were a tennis match. Lucky eventually runs out of steam, and stops in the middle of the ring, sweating and gasping for breath. Isaiah pounces, literally, with a diving shoulder block from Beb’s blindside! Now he covers confidently.



ONE!



ONE AND A HALF



ONE AND THREE QUARTERS



Joe kicks out before Two!



TOMMY ONIONS: Holy cow, whatever’s in that drink, I’ll take a dozen and a trip to the nearest brothel please!



Zepp scratches his head, and figures he’ll look to Kevin Rouser for any hints, as Senator Peterson is only now beginning to stir. Rouser repeats his words. “Absurd absurd absurd!” Isaiah doesn’t know how to interpret that, until he points to Joe Beb’s fannypack. Rouser beams with a demented smile and nods his head. Isaiah, who lives a strict straight-edge lifestyle, balks at the idea, until he sees Joe Beb rising to his feet like a horny, supercharged terminator. Zepp reserves himself before opening a can and taking a small drink. However, he immediately spits it out into Lucky’s eyes! Isaiah discards it with an exclamation of “Bah, I hate grape!” Now Isaiah wraps up Joe’s arms, scoops him up, and drills him skull-first with The Intermezzo! Tangling all of Joe’s limbs with the Kitsch Clutch, and knee in Joe’s chest, Isaiah holds on for dear life as Shawna counts the fall.



ONE!



TWO! Joe tries to kick out with his hips but it’s not enough.



THREEEEEEE!



DING DING DING



BOB MOONEY: Here is your winner, and the number one contender for the Legacy Championship… ISAIAH ZEPP!



“Governed By Contagions” plays again as Isaiah breathes a deep sigh of relief. He rolls out of the ring and makes his way toward Montgomery.



JOSEPH GREER: With a little coaching from one weird opponent in his past, Isaiah found a way past the strange gameplan of Lucky Joe Beb.

[vastrix]

In his chair, Peterson can be seen looking toward the crowd, motioning for help. At that moment, there are several food and drink vendors that shed their sale items and outfits. They instantly come over and start beating on Zepp with batons, as their BSE insignia becomes visible!



JOSEPH GREER: The damn Bureau is here again! No wonder RSW security didn’t see them today, they were disguised!



Peterson begins shouting orders. “Shut this whole fucking show down!” One BSE agent restrains the referee, and Joe Beb hides under the ring out of self perseverance. RSW security tries to intervene, but they’re held off by the numbers game. The BSE steal the cameras from the film crew, and one agent approaches the commentary table.



JOSEPH GREER: What do you want!? You can’t do this! You can’t-



Greer is shoved out of his chair and the agent drags Tommy Onions away from the table.



TOMMY ONIONS: No not my voice! Not my beautiful voooooice!



Monty Peterson is in euphoria. He’s finally taking down the man who has ruined his political career, along with the whole company he works for. He looks down his nose at the beaten Zepp, as the BSE continue to wail on him with batons. Bob Mooney is dragged over to that side of the floor, and Monty takes his microphone. At this juncture, even the pro-Peterson contingent in the crowd is speechless. Isaiah is thrown into the ring and pulled up to a kneeling position and Peterson rolls in. The BSE stick the camera in Zepp’s face.



SENATOR PETERSON: Yeah, there you go. You love kneeling right?! So, Isaiah Zepp… How does it feel knowing you’re going to die in front of millions of these unwashed masses!? They bathe in this barbaric bloodsport, and I was going to ride their stupidity all the way to the white house! But you just wouldn’t stop your little game. So do you have any last words before I kill you and burn this company down!



ISAIAH ZEPP: I… still… win.



SENATOR PETERSON: Ha! Are you fucking kidding me?! You and what army?!



The crowd becomes unified in their disgust for the BSE. Isaiah slowly rises, and when he is no longer kneeling, he places his hand on his heart and points to a USA flag near the entrance ramp. Peterson’s lips contort in confusion, and suddenly a squad of a dozen men in military fatigues march down the aisle. While they are all unarmed, they seem to have superior training, and quickly subdue the BSE agents into chokeholds, as the crowd begins to applaud the boys in camouflage. Security is able to aid the other RSW staff, and soon the at-home audience has a camera shot again. Big Ass Hank himself dishes out an uppercut to the BSE that was restraining Savante. Soon the audio returns as well, with the static of Greer’s headset.



JOSEPH GREER: Are we, are we still on the air?! Oh my lord.



At the top of the ramp, a man in officer’s uniform directs his men to apprehend the BSE into the backstage area, and he gives a quick salute to Zepp. Isaiah is still beaten to a pulp, but now he’s alone now with just Peterson, who gingerly takes his steps backward. Zepp lunges toward him, but Peterson falls out of the ring and onto his ass. He stands and shakes himself off, but he’s grabbed by Kevin Rouser and pulled back to his ringside seat! “That was NOT very Delightful!” However, Peterson pepper sprays Broken Rouser and escapes through the throngs of fans who now universally detest him.



TOMMY ONIONS: Oh thank god I’m still alive, what the hell is happening?!



JOSEPH GREER: I think… I think Isaiah Zepp just saved AnarChristmas, with the US Military! How is that even possible?!



As Isaiah rolls out of the ring, he bumps his fist to his heart and then throws it toward the audience, who give him a round of applause. He then hurries behind the curtain, to see whatever may come next.



TOMMY ONIONS: So I guess you like Zepp again.



JOSEPH GREER: He made a promise that no one else would get seriously hurt, and he kept it. Barely. I can respect that, at least.

[vastrix]

The camera backstage catches up with Andi Snow walking somewhere with single-mind purpose, passing interviewers and staff alike without acknowledgment – they can’t seem to keep their eyes off her as she goes. She swerves left, through a closed door without knocking, stopping short when she finds herself looking at dozens upon dozens of rainbow-coloured balloons. They’re almost ominous, swaying slightly in the breeze Andi created with her sudden arrival. The Anarchy Champion is sitting on the floor with his back against the open locker containing his street clothes, wrapping his knuckles the way a boxer would. He sighs, shaking his head, realising that he’s no longer alone. Maybe he smelled her perfume from down the hall, maybe he expected her to show up. Either way, he doesn’t seem surprised to find Andi Snow standing in front of him. Before she can ask the obvious question, he answers.



LEX COLLINS: Was my birthday over the weekend. Brother-in-law thought this’d be a riot. Popped half the damn things so I could even get in here…took a fuckin’ hour. So, y’know, might be a little winded when I get out there tonight.



There’s a crooked grin on his lips when he looks up at her, making it clear that he’s being cheeky.



ANDI SNOW: Well…Happy Belated Birthday to you…



She says, slowly navigating her way through the sea of balloons. Andi, yet to get into her ring-gear, was outfitted in an oversized gold sweater dress that hung loosely off of one shoulder and was cut short enough to accentuate her long, tanned legs. After carefully wading through the overly decorated locker room, Andi seats herself on the bench next to Lex.



ANDI SNOW: It’s definitely festive.



She reaches down and untangles a strand of iridescent ribbon caught around one of the sparkly red stilettos on her feet. After a somewhat awkward silence, Andi clears her throat and then runs a hand through her long brunette ponytail, moving it over to one shoulder before speaking.



ANDI SNOW: Listen, Lex…it’s been a crazy few months for both of us ever since we joined RSW. I know that, in the past, I haven’t exactly been fair when it came to you. That way I treated you after you tried to help me out wasn’t cool. Honestly, I think all the craziness going on with that lunatic Riddick was getting to me and I also had my own stuff going on…I just wanted to come here in person, because we haven’t had the opportunity to meet face to face until tonight, to kind of clear things up. I don’t really believe those things I said about you. You’re actually probably the only one in this entire company that hasn’t judged me based on my past and I appreciate that. Really…So, just know, regardless of what happens tonight, I hope we can move forward and be cool with each other going forward. Whether you know it or not, you’re one of the good guys.



The silence resumes between them for a few seconds and it’s almost like he’s struggling to wrap his head around what she’s just said. Respect doesn’t come often these days and when it does, there’s always another shoe to drop. He studies her, watching her fidget with her hair for a few seconds, gauging her sincerity.



LEX COLLINS: Whatever happens, yeah. Win or lose… clean or dirty. We’re good.



He nods slowly. The look on Lex’s face is almost blank other than the ghost of a smile on his lips when he finally looks up after tugging his fight gloves into place over the wrapping.



LEX COLLINS: No matter what they say, what they think of you… you earned this, Andi. Maybe more’n I did, if we’re gonna draw lines an’ connect all the dots. You’re not just the chick who lost her fuckin’ top, some goddamned joke out there. You’re a fighter. A survivor like me. When the dust settles… when they finally get their wish an’ I’m nothin’ but an obscure name dropped in some has-been’s biography… you’re still gonna have a story to tell. You’re gonna be a big deal. You know that, don’tcha?



ANDI SNOW: Well, obviously.



She replies slyly, only half-joking. Following Lex’s lead, Andi also stands, smoothing any wrinkles in the short sweater dress before tossing her long ponytail behind her.



ANDI SNOW: So it’s a deal…we’re good…win or lose…clean….or dirty.



Without any warning, Andi leans in close to Lex before planting a soft kiss on his cheek, leaving behind a trace of her red lipstick. With that Andi heads toward the door, stopping short of the threshold before glancing back at Lex from over her shoulder.



ANDI SNOW: …and when someone finally does write your story, because they will and it’ll be one hell of a page-turner…I better have my own chapter. See you in the ring.



She says with a wink while grabbing one of the balloons by its string and tugging it out of the locker room, flipping her ponytail again as she makes her dramatic exit. He remains still for a few seconds in the wake of her departure before slowly lifting his hand up to his cheek. He looks confused, mumbling under his breath as he rubs at the lipstick mark absently.



LEX COLLINS: …the hell was that for?

[vastrix]

BOB MOONEY: This next contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the Anarchy championship! Featuring first the challenger hailing from Los Angeles, California…Andi Snow!



“No Tears Left to Cry” by Ariana Grande begins playing as a spotlight falls onto the entrance stage to shine on Andi Snow as she walks out from the back. She blows kisses to her cheering fans before heading down to the ring with the spotlight following her all the way.



TOMMY ONIONS: That bitch thinks she’s going to become Anarchy champion. Ain’t going to happen.



JOSEPH GREER: I might remind you that the last time that Andi Snow faced Lex Collins in the ring, she defeated him.



TOMMY ONIONS: Yeah, she’s hot, but a bitch! It’s kinda hot to be honest.



BOB MOONEY: And her opponent hailing from the Open Road, he is the Anarchy and Legacy champion…Lex Collins!



“Re-education (through Labor)” by Rise Against begins playing as Lex Collins emerges from the back with both the Anarchy and the Legacy belts on his shoulders. He walks down to the ring to the cheering of the fans, handing the belts to the ref to display to the cheering fans before handing them down to the timekeeper.



JOSEPH GREER: Lex has a hard road ahead of him tonight. First he defends his Anarchy title against Andi Snow and then later on tonight he defends the Legacy title against D in a rematch after Erik Black ruined their last match.



TOMMY ONIONS: You know that you talk an awful lot.



JOSEPH GREER: Just stating what’s going on like an announcer should.



TOMMY ONIONS: I’m the broadcast journalist around here!



As the bell rings to start the match, both Andi and Lex begin circling around each other warily and look for an opening to begin an offensive.



Andi goes for a grapple, but catches a stiff elbow strike to the face. Lex sends Andi to the mat with a drop toe hold, transitioning to another elbow to the back of the head to smoosh Andi’s nose into the mat! Lex rolls away as Andi slams her fist to the mat in anger, blood already starting to drip from her nose. She stands up, cartwheeling to the side to avoid a drop kick, and kicking Lex in the side of the head when he springs up. She grabs Lex by the hair and smashes his nose with her fist several times.



ANDI SNOW: You. Fuckers. Leave. My. Nose. Alone!



When Andi releases Lex, he staggers backwards to the ropes with blood flowing freely from his nose. She rushes at Lex, stepping up onto his thigh to begin the running enziguri. Just before the kick to the head is delivered, Lex catches the leg, grasps the other, and turns to throw Andi over the top rope and into the steel railing!



TOMMY ONIONS: Did you see that bitch fly? I should see if she’s alright and hope that she isn’t.



JOSEPH GREER: I don’t think that’s a good idea. She may turn your nose into mush like she did Lex!



TOMMY ONIONS: Oh shit, you could be right.



Lex stands in the ring, adjusting his nose while Andi slowly makes her way up to her feet. She rolls into the ring to face Lex again.



Lex hits a scoop slam, dropping both knees to impact Andi in the shoulders. He remains in place for the cover!



One



Tw-Andi kicks out!



Lex stands up and pulls Andi to her feet. She hits a European uppercut, pulls Lex into a side headlock, and hits a running bulldog! She jumps to her feet, following the bulldog up with a standing moonsault!



She bounces off of the ropes as Lex gets to his feet and hits a whirlybird headscissors to take him back down. She quickly goes for the cover!



One



Tw-Lex kicks out!



Andi gets up, pulls Lex up, and drives him back down to the mat with a sitout facebuster! Andi leaps back to her feet, practically bouncing back up into the air, grabs Lex by the ankles, and applies a figure four leglock! Lex lets out a shout of pain, reaching for the ropes, but they’re just out of reach.



Instead of trying to extend his reach to the ropes, Lex rolls both of them over to reverse the move. Andi lets out a yelp of pain, grabbing the nearby ropes to get the ref to break the hold.



Lex gets to his feet, grabs the rising Andi in a side headlock, and hits a headlock driver! Lex goes for the pinfall!



One



Two



Thr-Andi kicks out!



TOMMY ONIONS: Yes! Put that bitch down! Maybe with some humility, she come back to Sweet Tommy.



JOSEPH GREER: Was she ever going to Sweet Tommy in the first place?



TOMMY ONIONS: You not know!



Lex gets up, grabs Andi, and hits a side slam backbreaker!



JOSEPH GREER: Lex with the Mind Killer!



TOMMY ONIONS: Wouldn’t it be more of a back killer?



Lex crouches in the corner to wait for Andi to get up. He goes for a running enziguri, but Andi steps into things and hits a hard right hand to the nuts!



Lex plops onto the mat, curling up into a ball as the crowd groans in sympathetic pain. Andi shakes her hand in pain for a moment. She waits for Lex to slowly stand up and hits a superkick to send him back to the mat! She goes for the pinfall!



One



Two



Thr-Lex kicks out!



JOSEPH GREER: See what Andi can do to a pair of nuts?



TOMMY ONIONS: Holy shit!



Andi climbs to the top rope, looks at her cheering fans with a blown kiss, and leaps into the air to hit a 450 splash! She hooks a leg for the pinfall!



One



Two



Three! No! Lex got a foot onto the bottom rope!



Andi kneels up, giving the referee the stink eye. He makes sure to quickly explain that Lex got a foot on the ropes. She shakes her head, climbing to the top rope again. She watches like hawk as Lex staggers to his feet. She leaps for a high cross, but Lex catches her! He turns while shifting his grasp to one arm and brings Andi to the mat into a fujiwara armbar!



JOSEPH GREER: You see how hard he wrenched that shoulder from the air?



TOMMY ONIONS: Yep. Andi going to learn something today!



There’s a loud popping sound and Andi lets out a scream of pain. She quickly taps out and the ref signals that the match is over.



BOB MOONEY: The winner of the match via submission and STILL Anarchy champion…Lex Collins!



Lex signals to the back that EMTs are needed. He tries to check on Andi, but she bats his hand away.



JOSEPH GREER: I think Lex dislocated Andi’s shoulder!



TOMMY ONIONS: She needs some Sweet Onions Sauce to make her feel all better! Too bad the bitch is too frigid to accept the help of my healing salve!



EMTs come down to the ring to help Andi to the back while Lex celebrates his win, while casting the occasional worried glance toward the retreating Andi.



TOMMY ONIONS: I wouldn’t worry too much about being apologetic, Lex. The bitch is just going to trash talk you in the end.



JOSEPH GREER: She just played a harmless prank once. It’s not the end of the world!



TOMMY ONIONS: Not the end of the world? Says you!



BOB MOONEY: This next contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the Anarchy championship! Featuring first the challenger hailing from Los Angeles, California…Andi Snow!



“No Tears Left to Cry” by Ariana Grande begins playing as a spotlight falls onto the entrance stage to shine on Andi Snow as she walks out from the back. She blows kisses to her cheering fans before heading down to the ring with the spotlight following her all the way.



TOMMY ONIONS: That bitch thinks she’s going to become Anarchy champion. Ain’t going to happen.



JOSEPH GREER: I might remind you that the last time that Andi Snow faced Lex Collins in the ring, she defeated him.



TOMMY ONIONS: Yeah, she’s hot, but a bitch! It’s kinda hot to be honest.



BOB MOONEY: And her opponent hailing from the Open Road, he is the Anarchy and Legacy champion…Lex Collins!



“Re-education (through Labor)” by Rise Against begins playing as Lex Collins emerges from the back with both the Anarchy and the Legacy belts on his shoulders. He walks down to the ring to the cheering of the fans, handing the belts to the ref to display to the cheering fans before handing them down to the timekeeper.



JOSEPH GREER: Lex has a hard road ahead of him tonight. First he defends his Anarchy title against Andi Snow and then later on tonight he defends the Legacy title against D in a rematch after Erik Black ruined their last match.



TOMMY ONIONS: You know that you talk an awful lot.



JOSEPH GREER: Just stating what’s going on like an announcer should.



TOMMY ONIONS: I’m the broadcast journalist around here!



As the bell rings to start the match, both Andi and Lex begin circling around each other warily and look for an opening to begin an offensive.



Andi goes for a grapple, but catches a stiff elbow strike to the face. Lex sends Andi to the mat with a drop toe hold, transitioning to another elbow to the back of the head to smoosh Andi’s nose into the mat! Lex rolls away as Andi slams her fist to the mat in anger, blood already starting to drip from her nose. She stands up, cartwheeling to the side to avoid a drop kick, and kicking Lex in the side of the head when he springs up. She grabs Lex by the hair and smashes his nose with her fist several times.



ANDI SNOW: You. Fuckers. Leave. My. Nose. Alone!



When Andi releases Lex, he staggers backwards to the ropes with blood flowing freely from his nose. She rushes at Lex, stepping up onto his thigh to begin the running enziguri. Just before the kick to the head is delivered, Lex catches the leg, grasps the other, and turns to throw Andi over the top rope and into the steel railing!



TOMMY ONIONS: Did you see that bitch fly? I should see if she’s alright and hope that she isn’t.



JOSEPH GREER: I don’t think that’s a good idea. She may turn your nose into mush like she did Lex!



TOMMY ONIONS: Oh shit, you could be right.



Lex stands in the ring, adjusting his nose while Andi slowly makes her way up to her feet. She rolls into the ring to face Lex again.



Lex hits a scoop slam, dropping both knees to impact Andi in the shoulders. He remains in place for the cover!



One



Tw-Andi kicks out!



Lex stands up and pulls Andi to her feet. She hits a European uppercut, pulls Lex into a side headlock, and hits a running bulldog! She jumps to her feet, following the bulldog up with a standing moonsault!



She bounces off of the ropes as Lex gets to his feet and hits a whirlybird headscissors to take him back down. She quickly goes for the cover!



One



Tw-Lex kicks out!



Andi gets up, pulls Lex up, and drives him back down to the mat with a sitout facebuster! Andi leaps back to her feet, practically bouncing back up into the air, grabs Lex by the ankles, and applies a figure four leglock! Lex lets out a shout of pain, reaching for the ropes, but they’re just out of reach.



Instead of trying to extend his reach to the ropes, Lex rolls both of them over to reverse the move. Andi lets out a yelp of pain, grabbing the nearby ropes to get the ref to break the hold.



Lex gets to his feet, grabs the rising Andi in a side headlock, and hits a headlock driver! Lex goes for the pinfall!



One



Two



Thr-Andi kicks out!



TOMMY ONIONS: Yes! Put that bitch down! Maybe with some humility, she come back to Sweet Tommy.



JOSEPH GREER: Was she ever going to Sweet Tommy in the first place?



TOMMY ONIONS: You not know!



Lex gets up, grabs Andi, and hits a side slam backbreaker!



JOSEPH GREER: Lex with the Mind Killer!



TOMMY ONIONS: Wouldn’t it be more of a back killer?



Lex crouches in the corner to wait for Andi to get up. He goes for a running enziguri, but Andi steps into things and hits a hard right hand to the nuts!



Lex plops onto the mat, curling up into a ball as the crowd groans in sympathetic pain. Andi shakes her hand in pain for a moment. She waits for Lex to slowly stand up and hits a superkick to send him back to the mat! She goes for the pinfall!



One



Two



Thr-Lex kicks out!



JOSEPH GREER: See what Andi can do to a pair of nuts?



TOMMY ONIONS: Holy shit!



Andi climbs to the top rope, looks at her cheering fans with a blown kiss, and leaps into the air to hit a 450 splash! She hooks a leg for the pinfall!



One



Two



Three! No! Lex got a foot onto the bottom rope!



Andi kneels up, giving the referee the stink eye. He makes sure to quickly explain that Lex got a foot on the ropes. She shakes her head, climbing to the top rope again. She watches like hawk as Lex staggers to his feet. She leaps for a high cross, but Lex catches her! He turns while shifting his grasp to one arm and brings Andi to the mat into a fujiwara armbar!



JOSEPH GREER: You see how hard he wrenched that shoulder from the air?



TOMMY ONIONS: Yep. Andi going to learn something today!



There’s a loud popping sound and Andi lets out a scream of pain. She quickly taps out and the ref signals that the match is over.



BOB MOONEY: The winner of the match via submission and STILL Anarchy champion…Lex Collins!



Lex signals to the back that EMTs are needed. He tries to check on Andi, but she bats his hand away.



JOSEPH GREER: I think Lex dislocated Andi’s shoulder!



TOMMY ONIONS: She needs some Sweet Onions Sauce to make her feel all better! Too bad the bitch is too frigid to accept the help of my healing salve!



EMTs come down to the ring to help Andi to the back while Lex celebrates his win, while casting the occasional worried glance toward the retreating Andi.



TOMMY ONIONS: I wouldn’t worry too much about being apologetic, Lex. The bitch is just going to trash talk you in the end.



JOSEPH GREER: She just played a harmless prank once. It’s not the end of the world!



TOMMY ONIONS: Not the end of the world? Says you!

[vastrix]

The cameras cut backstage as we zoom in on one of the locker room doors. In the middle of the door was a name plate saying “Awoken”, however the door has been heavily spray painted with a bright pink glittery paint. The name plate had been crossed out and instead in big almost comic sans spray painted letters it now read “Magical Kittys Christmas Surprise”. Surrounding that was a giant pink glittery painted heart.



The camera pans to the right a bit as we find one half of the RSW Tag Team Champions, Salem Shepard, walking towards his locker room, but he immediately stops in his tracks finding the door in such a state.



SALEM: What the fuck?!



Salem very slowly places his hand on the door handle and slowly opens the door not knowing who or what was waiting for him inside the room. He looked down the hall both ways, his eyes scanning for Knucks but he had already left. Hesitantly, he reached for the door but instantly backed away….His curiosity got the better of him.



As soon as Salem opened the door it was extremely obvious that the room was not at all what the RSW locker rooms would normally look like, from top to bottom the room had been decorated with red and pink Christmas lights, making the room look Christmassy yet oddly romantic as if a spouse was trying to impress their partner. The room gave off a warm red glow but it was oddly inviting. Salem slowly stepped into the room not knowing what to make of what he was seeing and as soon as he had fully stepped into the room he immediately saw who had done this.



Sat crossed legged on top of one of the tables in the room, which usually housed all kinds of beer, was RSW newcomer, Lilith, who had clearly spent a lot of time and effort making herself look like pure sex. She was wearing an extremely tight, extremely revealing Mrs Claus santa costume. The sort you’d find in a sex store, low cut and very high on her thighs. The white fur of the outfit blending in with her long brunette hair.



Lilith raised one of her black leather booted legs up the table and ran her hand up her thigh as she gave Salem sex eyes that would arouse any man.



LILITH: So… do you want to unwrap your Christmas present?



SALEM: Wha….?….Who….Fucking Knucks, that asshole. He made you do this, didn’t he?



Lilith raised an eyebrow at Salem not knowing what he was talking about.



LILITH: Knucks? Ohhhhh you mean Knuckles? The homeless one I spoke to on twitter before? I mean he’s kinda cute n all but no he didn’t tell me to do this… I did it by myself! Don’t you like it?



SALEM: Bitch, what the fuck you talking about homeless!? I….I don’t even fuckin know who you are. Maybe you got the wrong fuckin guy or something, cause uuuhhh….This shit? I dunno, it’s not for me…..It can’t be….



Salem looked around the room with an odd look on his face, even from beneath the paint you could see he was completely confused. He wasn’t sure what to think about the woman who had just suddenly shown up in the RSW, and why she was here with him.



SALEM: Wait..wait…wait….One thing first, why the fuck do you call me Magical Kitty!? I DON’T EVEN KNOW YOU!!!!



Lilith looked across the room at Salem, getting extremely emotional already. This was not going to plan AT ALL right now. He was supposed to have liked this, loved it even maybe. She wanted him to realize how great she was, how good she was for him. Salem was supposed to have immediately left Awoken and run off with her… instead he stood across from her, totally angry, unappreciative and worse he didn’t even know who she was. Lilith faught herself to not just burst into tears.



LILITH: I… I thought you’d like this stuffs Magical Kitty! You gots no idea how long this stuffs took me to do! You were… you were supposed to have liked me…



Lilith dug her nails into the palm of her hand, desperately trying to fight back her tears. Salem put his hands on his head and laughed to himself.



SALEM: Wha!? …This is unreal… Why would you just assume anything about me!? Jesus Christ, you are legit fuckin crazy. …crazy. Like, it’s blowing my fucking mind right now. I almost want to record it on my phone just so I can show my boys how legit fuckin crazy you are. …oh, and uuhhh, you aint got shit on Mindy, soo, you know, it would never happen…just to be real and all…I have no idea how many corndogs been in that patch either..



Liliths sorrow immediately turned into pure, uncontrollable anger. She wanted to lash out, to hit, punch, kick and scratch anyone and everyone in her way but somehow she managed to keep herself calm enough to not go after Salem. Instead she wanted nothing more than to kill this Mindy girl, whoever she was. She was the cause of this. It was her who had ruined what should have been the happiest day of Liliths whole life, her who had been the cause of ALL bad things that ever happened to Lilith. The crazed brunette jumped down from the table and got straight up into Salems face, anger very much visibly boiling within her.



LILITH: WHO… IS… MINDY?!!!



SALEM: Thats none of your goddamn business!! Maybe you’re confused. Crazy? Yes, confused? Possibly….us two?….We work for the same company, you and I….Who Mindy is, is no concern to you – and it never will be. Like I said, ….you aint got shit on her anyway…I told you that. There’s nothing left to say.



Salem turned to walk out the door but before he could step much further away Lilith grabbed him around his arm and pulled him back into place. She got so close into his face and spoke so slowly and angrily at him, any slower and she would have literally been speaking in slow motion to him.



LILITH: You… don’t… understand… this is supposed to be OUR story! You and me! Lilo and her adorable magical kitty Salem! Never in our storybook does it EVER have any mention of a GOD DAMN FUCKING MINDY!!!!!! Who the fuck is Mindy?!!! What kind of name even is that?!! She sounds like nothing more than a CHEAP FUCKING WHORE!!! This is not you! I REFUSE TO ACCEPT THIS!!!



Salem balled his fists, rage boiled beneath the paint, the tendons stood out in his neck as he looked Lilith dead in the eye.



SALEM: If you don’t get the fuck outta my face, I will knock your ass out right here….You wont the first girl I’ve had to knock around this week, but trust me, it would be a thrill to beat the fuck outta you this very moment. …but Im not gonna do that. Hopefully. You don’t even know Mindy – so who are you to call her a cheap whore when you’re whoring yourself out to me!?!? …Just because you have some delusion about me. Again, I. Don’t. Know. You. ..and you’re whoring yourself out to me. Its gross, your crazy, ….and yeah, you’re fucking insane. If you weren’t so goddamn delusional, I would have killed you for calling Mindy a slut. …But you have some problem upstairs. Maybe wrestling isn’t your thing; it’s not a male whore house where you can just pick whichever one of us you like the best. I’m leaving, and if you stop me again, you’re going through that fucking door, got it?



Lilith didn’t move, she hadn’t even really heard half of what Salem had just said to her she was so emotionally unstable right now. She knew this was wrong, she knew this was all wrong but for some reason Salem didn’t know this and it just confused her more.



LILITH: This isn’t part of our story, Salem! Teddy told me! Teddy said that we were meant to be together cos it’s what our storybook says and Teddy is NEVER wrong! He’s not! If you still don’t understand…. maybe I can MAKE you!



Lilith grabbed Salem by his top and before he knew what was going on Lilith reached down and slithered her hand up his inner thigh. Salem immediately wrestled her off of him, moving faster than he ever thought he could have. His eyes were wide in terror as he scrambled across the room, desperately trying to get to his feet and away from Lilith.



SALEM: WHAT THE FUCK!? Bitch, I swear God…this time…You touch me again…ANYWHERE…and I’m going to knock you the fuck out!! All this makes sense to you because you talk to a fucking bear!? Holy shit, you really are crazier than I am, and ya know, your damn lucky Im taking my meds….This other Salem would have painted the walls red with your blood, most likely….fuckin crazy bitch…



Liliths jaw hit the floor, she finally knew what was wrong. What had happened to Salem and why he was being the way he was with her.



LILITH: Wait…. meds? What meds?!! Salem who is giving you meds?! Why?!! How?!! Since when?!! That’s it! That’s why you’re being like this! Let me look…



Lilith placed her hands on Salems face and forced one of his eye lids open looking way too close into his face staring at his eyeball to see what was going on with him. He grabbed Lilith by the throat, spun her around and slammed her into the wall.



SALEM: I wasnt kidding. Don’t. Touch. Me.



Salem tightened his grip on Lilith’s neck, picked her up inches off the floor and walked over, opened the door, tossing Lilith out into the hallway. She landed with a hard thud right onto her butt as Salem slammed the door behind her. Lilith immediately picked herself up off the floor and turned back to the door but Salem had already locked it on her not allowing her to come back in.



LILITH: SALEM!!! This isn’t you! You gots to listen to me! Imma the ONLY one who can fix you! You think Knuckles and that stupid Black Magic Bear care about you?! NO!!! If they did they wouldn’t let you be like this!!! Salem! MAGICAL KITTY!!! OPEN THE DOOR!!!



Lilith kept banging on the door for several minutes but she knew she had blown her chance to make him remember and get better. Several tears rolled down her cheeks as Lilith practically sobbed at the door, sliding down it and sitting on the floor, her head in her hands, crying extremely loudly.



LILITH: Salem…. please! I— I love you…



Lilith continued to sob uncontrollably as she thought about what had just happened and how it possibly couldn’t have gone any worse.

[vastrix]

“CowBoy” Brantly Hughes lays on a bed in the infirmary while waiting for the ambulance to arrive to transport him to the hospital. He holds a bloody cloth to his face with his good arm while his broken arm is being held at an odd angle. Dr. Peter Gonzo holds aloft a syringe filled with a local anesthetic. He readies to inject it into Brantley’s arm when the door opens.



Smoke enters the room before Armand von Krauss does. He looks at Dr. Gonzo with his Egyptian cigarette hanging in his mouth, his eyes flicking to the door. Dr. Gonzo swallows hard with a smile.



DR GONZO: I just need to inject the painkillers and then-



ARMAND VON KRAUSS: Leave us.



DR GONZO: Or I could leave right now. I’ll just leave this here.



Dr. Gonzo sets the syringe down on a counter and quickly exits the room. Armand closes the door and turns to the cowboy with a faint smile.



BRANTLY HUGHES: I will get those bitches for this once my arm is better.



ARMAND VON KRAUSS: I don’t think so.



BRANTLY HUGHES: What? They just got the jump on me. In a one on one situation, I will fucking kill those bitches in the ring!



Armand nods, flicking ashes onto the floor. He casually reaches down and seizes Brantly by the broken portion of his arm. Brantly lets out a howl of pain as Armand compounds the break.



ARMAND VON KRAUSS: You were fired the moment you were unable to compete. First match and you get an arm broken? Du inkompetentes Stück Müll.



Armand squeezes the broken arm, further fragmenting bones in the arm as Brantly howls in pain.



BRANTLY HUGHES: You can’t fire me for being injured on the job! Workman’s Comp!



Armand releases the arm, stepping back with a smile.



ARMAND VON KRAUSS: Oh insurance will cover your injuries, but you have been fired for being pathetic. Maybe you can find work with the other companies of the XHF Network once you have healed. Their standards are somewhat lower.



Armand crushes his cigarette out on the counter and makes to leave the room. Brantly weakly reaches with his good arm.



BRANTLY HUGHES: The painkillers!



Armand pulls the syringe apart, letting the drugs spill out onto the floor as Brantly looks on in horror.



ARMAND VON KRAUSS: My real warriors need no such crutch from their wounds. Suffer and grow stronger for it.



Armand leaves the room as Brantly mutters curses and moans in pain.

[vastrix]

BOB MOONEY: This next match is a best of three falls inside of a steel cage! Featuring first the challenger…Havok!



“Demonoid Phenomenon” by Rob Zombie begins playing as Havok walks out from the back to the cheering of the fans. He looks around at fireworks go off on either side of him. He makes his way down the aisle, slapping fives as he goes. He stops at the side of the ring, looking up at the cage that hangs overhead. He points to the steel cage to the roar of the fans.



TOMMY ONIONS: Eddie looks almost too excited for his latest execution.



JOSEPH GREER: You never know. This could be the one time that Eddie gets a win over the giant.



TOMMY ONIONS: Heh, generic big guy, but I suppose. Lightning could strike.



BOB MOONEY: And his opponent…Dylan Erickson!



The name “Dylan Erickson” goes across the RioTron in big letters with a video of the big man walking out onto the entrance stage as he does that very thing. He looks down to the ring to where Havok stands in the middle of the ring and smiles.



DYLAN ERICKSON: I didn’t want you to feel like I was worried about you, golden boy. I thought I would bring a reminder of past encounters.



Dylan goes back through the curtains to the back.



TOMMY ONONS: Did Dylan just ditch the match in his fear that Havok might get one over on him?



JOSEPH GREER: I think he’s getting something.



Dylan Erickson walks out from the back again, this time with a length of steel chain in his arms.



DYLAN ERICKSON: Remember this?



JOSEPH GREER: Oh no!



TOMMY ONIONS: Oh yes!



Dylan Erickson walks down to the ring, throwing the chain into the ring before following in himself. The chain rests like a sleeping snake halfway between the two wrestlers as the steel cage is slowly lowered into place.



HAVOK: You want to make it a Russian chain match?



DYLAN ERICKSON: No, I just want to hit you with it.



HAVOK: Fair enough.



The bell rings to start the match once the cage is in place. Havok rushes forward, grabbing the chain, and lashing out at Dylan like cracking a whip. Dylan catches the end of the chain with a grin.



DYLAN ERICKSON: Oops.



Dylan yanks hard on the chain, but Havok releases the other end of the chain to allow the chain to fly back and hit Dylan in the face. He blinks and feels the cut on his left cheek as it oozes blood.



DYLAN ERICKSON: Well played, golden boy.

H

Dylan moves to strike Havok with the chain, but Havok drop kicks Dylan to stagger him back a few steps and knock the chain from his grasp. A second drop kick sends Dylan back into the corner. A third drop kick sticks Dylan against the corner.



Havok picks up the length of chain, throws it at Dylan, and goes for a fourth drop kick! Dylan deflects with the steel chain. Havok hops back up, but is greeted with the steel chain to the side of the head that sends Havok back to the mat.



TOMMY ONIONS: That’s going to leave a mark.



JOSEPH GREER: You would think Eddie would know to not go for four drop kicks in a row.



Havok starts to get back up when Dylan lashes him across the back with the chain like a whip hard enough to send him flat to the mat and leaves a welt!



DYLAN ERICKSON: How did you think you were going to defeat me, golden boy?



Dylan whips Havok again, leaving a long gash across Havok’s back.



DYLAN ERICKSON: There’s nothing you can do to defeat me!



Havok sits up and catches the end of the chain. He pulls Dylan off balance, wraps the chain around his fist, and strike Dylan in the side of the head hard enough to send him over the top rope to the ring apron between the ropes and the cage.



Havok grabs the top rope as Dylan stands up and slingshots himself into a double palm strike that sends the side of Dylan’s head into the cage wall, lands on his feet on the ring apron, springs up to the ropes while grabbing Dylan by the head again, and hits a cutter onto the top rope!



JOSEPH GREER: And just like that, the tide is turned.



TOMMY ONIONS: Havok got a couple of lucky blows in. That doesn’t mean he’s going to win the match!



JOSEPH GREER: I suppose this is true.



Dylan makes his way back to his feet and steps over the top rope. Havok hits a spear, but Dylan no sells it, and hefts Havok up. He takes a couple of steps toward the center of the rig and power bombs Havok to the mat! He keeps hold of Havok and power bobs him again, and a third time! This time he holds both legs, keeping Havok down for the pinfall.



One



Two



Three!!



BOB MOONEY: Winner of the first fall…Dylan Erickson!



TOMMY ONIONS: One more fall and this one will be all over, but the crying.



JOSEPH GREER: This match could still go either way.



Dylan leaves the limp Havok on the mat and raises his arms in the air to the boos of the fans to celebrate his first fall. Havok raises an arm like he’s going to try to get up, but it falls back to the mat.



TOMMY ONIONS: Dead.



JOSEPH GREER: I’m sure that he still has some fight left in him. Maybe?



Dylan picks Havok up into the ar and tosses him much like a dart at the steel cage wall where Havok’s face smashes into a joint section with a splatter of blood. Dylan reaches down over the ropes to grab Havok and pick him up. Havok grabs the middle rope to hold onto and slams his shoulder into Dylan’s thigh which means his head slams into Dylan’s crotch! Havok stands up, hops over the ropes, and hits a picture perfect sunset flip that brings Dylan down for the pinfall!



One



Two



Three!



JOSEPH GREER: And just like that, the score is tied.



TOMMY ONIONS: What the heck? I did not see that one coming.



JOSEPH GREER: I would imagine that Dylan didn’t see that one coming either.



Havok gets to his feet, watching as Dylan stands up.



BOB MOONEY: Havok wins the second fall which means the winner of the next fall will claim the match!



Dylan goes for a roundhouse kick, but Havok ducks down and pulls on the knee that Dylan is standing on to bring Dylan down to the mat. He quickly goes into a spinning toe hold on the downed Dylan, dropping an elbow against the side of Dylan’s knee!



Havok jumps up and stomps the side of Dylan’s knee before stepping through the ropes and climbing the side of the cage.



TOMMY ONIONS: See? Eddie is trying to escape!



JOSEPH GREER: I don’t think he’s trying to get away.



Dylan works his way to his feet while Havok moonsaults off of the cage wall to strike Dylan down and go for the pinfall!



One



Two



Thr-Dylan kicks out!



Havok jumps up, waiting for Dylan to get to his feet. He hits a bridging German suplex for the cover again.



One



Two



Thre-Dylan kicks out!



JOSEPH GREER: Eddie going the win here. He nearly got it!



TOMMY ONIONS: It’s still going to turn to shit. It always does.



Havok stands up, pulls Dylan to his feet, and whips him to the ropes. He tosses the steel chain to Dylan and drills a drop kick to the chain to send it back into Dylan’s face!



Dylan begins to stagger towards the center of the ring where he is grabbed by Havok and placed into what looks like a piledriver position. He steps over the arms and-



JOSEPH GREER: Fall of Havok!



TOMMY ONIONS: It’s been a long time since we’ve Havok use his finishing move!



Havok rolls Dylan over and goes for the pinfall while the crowd all sit on the edges of their seats.



One



Two



Three!



BOB MOONEY: Winner of the match via pinfall…Havok!



Havok celebrates in the ring as the steel cage is being raised back to where it belongs.



JOSEPH GREER: Eddie finally defeated Dylan in the ring!



TOMMY ONIONS: Every dog has its day.



JOSEPH GREER: I think Eddie had it in him all along.



TOMMY ONIONS: It won’t happen again.

[vastrix]

KNUCKS: They say we’re bad guys?



SALEM: Fuck yeah they do.



KNUCKS: Didn’t you give that fat girl at the grocery store some cash for her little rugrats Christmas?



SALEM: She not fat, homie, just big boned…and poor as fuck.



KNUCKS: …That’s your kid isn’t it, bro?



SALEM: Hell No!!!! You think I would fuck that fat bitch!?



KNUCKS: See, she’s not big boned….



SALEM: Ok, you got me there. But yeah, I did hook her up with some cash cause I’m a nice guy!!!!



KNUCKS: If you was off your meds, you would have fucked that land whale and you know it!!!



SALEM: No….I wouldn’t…the other Salem would, and you better be glad he’s not here….that’s how you lose matches.



KNUCKS: I dunno, homie…You pretty ruthless when you off the meds.



SALEM: Ok, so tell everyone why were here.



KNUCKS: Were here to participate in the FIRST EVER Awoken-Filth Factory toy drive!!!!! Cmon, follow me!!! I’m gonna walk funny like they do on MTV Cribs…



Salem and Knucks were both wearing black Awoken hoodies, the letters were in a Christmas font with lights wrapped around the logo. Both men had their Filth Factory face paint on with red Santa hats. Knucks and Salem both opened the double doors of the location as they stepped inside. Inside, there was a Santa, but not your typical Santa. His red suit was dirty, his nose was red – alcoholic red, and his beard was dirty and brown, there was a french fry stuck in it near the bottom.



Charlie Brown Christmas music played and there were elves. Midgets, of course, and all female. They wore sexy Christmas bikinis and each Elf had Salem’s or Knucks paint on their faces, also wearing red Santa hats. Next to Santa, who looked drunk in his massive throne, was two more bikini wearing elves twerking and grinding on his legs. Kids screamed and cheered as the line of kids and parents twisted around the building, waiting for their turn to accept their present from the Filthy Santa. There was a mountain of gifts wrapped in Awoken/Filth Factory high quality wrapping paper that shimmered in the lights.



SANTA: HOE, HOE, HOE!!!! I got all the hoes here!! Mini hoes, big hoes, hoes with nasty toes, face painted mini hoes mostly, it appears. Fuck, I need a drink….



KNUCKS: Greeting to all of you on behalf of Awoken!!! We wish you a Merry Christmas and stuff.







SALEM: Yeah, don’t worry, everyone will get a minute or two to sit on Santas lap…. And we have enough toys for everyone….







KNUCKS: Any of you moms on the naughty list?? We have a way to get you back on the good list!!







SALEM: Unless you fat…







KNUCKS: Like the land whale Salem picked up. So who wants to sit on Santa? ..And don’t worry, that piss stain is dry… well, I think it is…maybe..







SALEM: Damn this sick mother fucker… thats my credit card on deposit for that suit… I ain’t getting my money back.







KNUCKS: I think you are fucked homie… that shit smells like Milwaukee Best beer and piss.







SALEM: Im gonna beat the fuck outta him if I don’t get my deposit back.



KNUCKS: He’s pretty drunk, I think….So I’m not sure he would even notice.



They both looked back at the Filthy Santa whose head was hung over to one side and he was scratching his nuts.



KNUCKS: Santa!!!!!!!! Are you ready!? ….Can you even do this!?



SALEM: Put your fucking head up ASSHOLE!!! Or you aren’t getting the alcohol…



SANTA: Uuugghhh…yeah, yeah…Im good. Lets get some of these hot moms to sit on Santa’s North Pole.



SALEM: No…No….Kids, Santa. The hot moms are for me and my boy Knucks. If there’s any ugly ones with meth mouth we’ll give them to Erik. He can rub coke on his wang, he’ll never feel the diseases.



KNUCKS: Ok, let’s get the first kid up here. What’s your name?



KID: Samantha! Can I see Santa now!?



KNUCKS: Sure, sure!! Go ahead!!!



SANTA: HO, HO, HO!!! Wait, how old are you, little girl?



KID: Im ten!



SANTA: Fuck….eight years too young…







KNUCKS: WHAT THE FUCK did he just say!!!!







SALEM: Wait, did you check to see if this guy was on the list?







KNUCKS: What list?







SALEM: Make sure he doesn’t fuck kids kind of list? That santa is a fucking nightmare.



SANTA: I was kidding, KIDDING!!! It was a JOKE!!! ….I promise. …maybe. The only list Im on is the naughty list, …with that mom over there…..



KID: what is poking me? Is it the carrot for the reindeer?



SANTA: Uuummm….Thats Santa’s big-boy bottle of Whiskey in my pocket.



SALEM: Jesus Christ…..I can’t tell if he’s lying or telling the truth.







KNUCKS: Thats Santa… Not Jesus Christ…. I can see where you get confused







SALEM: Maybe we should get her a toy and get her off his lap before we get more stains in that santa suit.



Several of the midget elves climbed the mountain of gifts and tossed a package to Santa. He tried to catch it, but it smacked him square in his drunk face, pulling his beard down slightly.



SANTA: These elves need to learn to throw better.



KNUCKS: Maybe you should not be drunk, Santa….



Santa handed the gift to the child who tore into the wrapping paper, sending it flying all over the place. Beneath was a cardboard box. She opened the box and a look of disappointment rolled over her face.



KNUCKS: What did she get?







The crowd of kids got silent as the child pulled her gift from the box. The little girl held up a 12 pack of condoms that unrolled like a streamer.







KNUCKS: DAMN!!! Santa is giving out CONDOMS and those are magnums… what is he trying to do to this girl? Set her up for disappointment?… no kids in her school are going to fill those.



SANTA: Well, little girl, those are very special gifts. Don’t listen to those two face painted guys. They’re just balloons. Give one to your mom on Christmas Eve and I’ll come visit, for sure!!!



SALEM: Oh my God….He’s worse than us…



Knucks: You called for me?



SALEM: Your such a fucking idiot… If you was any more {Mongo Edit: Nah we don't say that anymore} you could have played santa.



KNUCKS: Ok next child up!!! …And watch for the magical carrot when you sit down.



A little boy was let through the ropes and both Knucks and Salem cringed as the little boy climbed on on Santas lap.



SANTA: Ho, HO, HO!!!! How old are you, little boy?



KNUCKS: WOAH!!!!! Don’t even go there!!! Is this bisexual Santa or something???



SANTA: That’s just nasty. I’ve been over here talking about all these sexy moms and now you accuse me of being bi?







KNUCKS: If a guy sucks dick he is gay…. He can fuck as many girls as he wants after that but he is still GAY…. you suck a dick, you GAY… 100% TRUTH!



MOM: Uuuummm, excuse me. This is not appropriate conversation for my seven-year-old.







KNUCKS: BITCH!!! You don’t even have money to buy your kid a gift so don’t judge us… you are at a free toy handout and your judging the people handing it out… fuck that kid… you get nothing!! Your mom is a judgemental cunt and we don’t play that shit…. Get the fuck out of here!



SALEM: Let’s give him a jersey…



KNUCKS: Hell, that’s better than what’s in all the gift boxes….



Salem pulls out a gift bag with a Rob Riot jersey. He tosses it to the kid who was still on Santa’s lap. He unwadded the jersey and held it up, tears welled up in his eyes as he turned it around and showed his mom. Robs face had a giant penis drawn on it next to his mouth.



MOM: Uuummm, NO!!! ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!



KNUCKS: WHY is this CUNT still standing here… get this bitch out of here… otherwise I am going to give her a late Abortion…. Get the fuck out you worthless cunt.







KID: But….but….I wanted some Awoken stuff, Santa….



MOM: LETS GO!!!! GIMMIE MY KID!!!!!!



The mom walked up to Santa’s throne and tried to pull her kid away. Santa reached out with his other hand and rubbed her butt.



KNUCKS: That kid probably hates having a mom that is a fucking cunt.



SALEM: Now he knows what type of girl NOT to pick up when he’s older….Kid, you don’t want to fuck a bitch like your mom….complain, complain, complain…That’s all these bitches do, kid.



KNUCKS: Here we are, hookin his ass up with some fresh ass RSW gear and all this bitch can do is COMPLAIN!?







SALEM: We should have given her the Frank Windsor home bleaching kit… maybe she wouldn’t be a bitch…



SANTA: Mom, I’m terribly sorry for the behavior of these two guys.



SALEM: WHAT!? US!!??



SANTA: Thats what I said. Mom, I have a gift for you too.



Santa reached under his throne and pulled out a rectangular shaped box. Mom seemed to calm down some as she tore into the paper like a child….and here eyes grew wide. She reached into the box and pulled out a giant black penis….



MOM: I um…I uh…







KNUCKS: The Bitch wants a bigger one…. She has the homewrecker 200 dildo that runs off of 3 car batteries and is the size of one of these midgets. That dildo would be like throwing a hotdog through the mall…. She wouldn’t even notice it.



The mom seemed angered again, pulling her kid away she beat the fuck outta Filthy Santa with the giant black penis.



MOM: Why are you doing this!?!?



SANTA: I like doing what I do…It makes me feel special. …Whys my penis hard?



MOM: LETS GO!!!!



She finally got her kid away from Filthy Santa, who tried to get one last butt-touch in, but it was too late. She snatched the kid off Santas lap and slapped him with the giant black penis once more across his face.







Knucks: Santa… once you go black you never go back…. HAHAHA {Mongo Edit: Fuck Off}.







SALEM: If you didn’t look stupid enough, now you have a giant penis shape on your face.



More parents seemed to be disgusted with what was happening and several left the line and walked out of the building.



SALEM: WAIT!!!! Don’t go!!!! We have hundreds of GOOD gifts to give away!!! Just, don’t listen to this Santa….







KNUCKS: Yeah don’t leave!! Plus the free bus passes won’t be given out till the end of the night and we know you all need the free rides….







SALEM: You’re not helping…







KNUCKS: Well sorry not sorry…. OK look we want to give out these great gift and some one is going to win a million dollars.







SALEM: What? NO that’s not true….







KNUCKS: Whatever people look you all came out to see Santa lets reset this real quick and try again.







Knucks walks over to Santa and whispers in his ear and they send the next child to Santa. The girl looks to be about 12. Knucks stares at santa to make sure he doesn’t cross the line.







SANTA: HI little lady how are you?







GIRL: Hi Santa… have I been a good girl this year?







SANTA: Well.. From what I can see…







SALEM: Santa….don’t mess up or no drug and beer money.



SANTA: Im just doing my fuckin job, pal!!!



GIRL: UUMMM!!! Santa just cursed!!!!



SANTA: No, I said Frosty job….Frosty job….You know, its cold and frosty at the Ice Pole. Well, until your mom sits on Santas North Pole….That’ll warm it up.



KNUCKS: I swear to God, …you say one more fucked up thing…



SALEM: Just….Just give her the damn present!!!



The elves tossed down another box, and surprisingly, Santa caught this one. He handed it to the little girl and she tore into the package like a tweaker feening for his meth. Her smile faded once she pulled the item from the box…



GIRL: This is not for kids….



She held up two DVD cases that both read Maria Does Sanctuary Cities.



SALEM: Ho. Lee. Fuck.



KNUCKS: Im pretty sure thats illegal…..



SALEM: Where the fuck did you get that, Santa!?



SANTA: HEY!!! Yall wrapped these yourselves.



Salem looked at Knucks with an odd look, Knucks returned the same look.



KNUCKS: Hey, I….No, that wasn’t me.



SANTA: Uumm, yeaaah….so maybe I slipped that in….



Knucks ran over to Santa and cocked his fist back ready to deliver a massive blow to the drunk pedo; the girl screamed in fear as Salem stepped in from behind and pulled Knucks away.



SALEM: No!!!! Bro!!!! Don’t do it, it aint even worth it….fuckin kids here everywhere. …and you can’t get blood on the suit!!!



More moms pulled their kids from the line as they were completely disgusted. But suddenly, gasps and cheers came from the back of the line and the group of people flocked that way. Salem and Knucks tried to see what the commotion was about, but the hoard of sexy moms had surrounded the person.



PERSON: Jesus Christ, y’all been waiting for …me? Ha, of course you have!!!



SALEM: I know that voice….



The crowd moved to the side and there he was, in his very best elf suit, scanning every inch of a mom, dreaming about what he would do to her. It was Erik Black.







He wore a green elf costume that was complete with green and red elf shoes and a hat with a bell at the end of it. There was white residue on his nose and his eyes were wide. He looked at one of the moms, a blonde with big tits but no ass to mention. She looked uncomfortable until Erik winked at her. She smiled and pushed her young son away from her slightly.







ERIK: My invite get lost in the fuckin mail? Don’t answer that. I see ya got your hands full with bad santa here. Where the fuck did you two find this douche?







Erik stopped and looked at a brunette who held a little girl’s hand.







ERIK: Not you, baby. I’m sure you’re fresh as roses. Mouth hug later?







Erik winked at the woman.







SALEM: Motherfucker.







KNUCKS: I try to be. Wait.







ERIK: Santa giving you a problem, sweetie? It’s ok. We’ll make this bad Santa go bye bye, ok?







He wasn’t talking to a child. No. He was talking to a mother.







SALEM: You here to help or fuck?







ERIK: Both if I can.







SANTA: Let’s get the next child up here.







ERIK, Salem and Knuck’s all looked at each other.







Santa went to grab the next child’s arm. It was a little brown haired boy.







SALEM: easy Santa.







KNUCKS: I swear, one more fucking thing….







Erik was having none of it. He snatched the boy from drunk Santa, and gave him to his mom.







SALEM: We’re never getting that down payment back, are we?







Knuck’s shrugged







KNUCKS: Blame Erik.







As soon as the boy was with his mom, Erik reached back and hit Santa with a right hook.







KNUCKS: Erik fucking killed him.







SALEM: No he didn’t, he’s just beating on him.







KNUCKS: No. That’s what he calls that punch.







SALEM: That cocky piece of shit named a punch?







Erik continued to beat Santa’s face. Kids began to cry. Mother’s began to get even more angry than they already were. Santa got up and made it away from Erik’s reach but he’d ran into Knuck’s, who looked at Salem. Salem shrugged and Knuck’s kicked drunk Santa in the balls. Santa fell, holding his sack. The trio started stomping on Santa.







SALEM: It’s ok, kids. We’re just playing.







ERIK: Uhh…yea. He’s just sleeping, see?







KNUCKS: You got knocked the fuck out!!!!







Salem and Erik looked at Knucks before laughing.



SALEM: Soo ummm…..I think yall can go home now. AND DON’T YOU THINK YOURE THE ONLY ONE WHO LOST SOMETHING HERE, KIDS!!!!! I’m gonna lose my deposit on that Santa suit cause Erik just got fuckin blood all over it…..



KNUCKS: I think we’ll make enough off our Awoken and Filth merch to cover the suit, bro….



SALEM: Erik better fuckin hope so….



The Awoken trio walked away as the remaining crowd of kids booed and cried.

[vastrix]

BOB MOONEY: The following contest is scheduled for one fall…



Smiling, being the consummate professional that he is, Bob lets the fans get their fun in. It’s AnarChristmas after all.



Tonight was about ending 2018 with a bang, a roster full of new talent, but also a pack of veterans looking to maintain their spots. Then there were company legends looking to reignite their careers. 2019 would be interesting.



CROWD: ONE FALL!



BOB MOONEY: …and is for the RSW World Tagteam Championships! Introducing first…four hundred and ninety two pounds…Chris Parsons and Marcus Anderson…The Inglorious Bastards!!!



JOSEPH GREER: Here comes the Tagteam Championship match! The division has really heated up these past couple events and these two have been a part of it.



The screen goes black, soon what appears to be Tokyo, Japan fades into view. Gojira’s theme, the theme of Godzilla begins.



TOMMY ONIONS: So what the champs, having just been raising the division…they’ve been the division.



Something is different, sleigh bells join the music as on the screen, cartoon Godzilla versions of Parsons and Anderson wearing Santa hats destroy Tokyo. Stomping and crushing buildings, both Godzilla parodies use their breath weapon at the same time, leaving a charred mass of red hot metal that morphs into the elf giving everyone a middle finger before the Santa Godzillas use their breath weapons again to melt the elf into the T.I.B. Logo as the song shifts to ‘Simon Says’ by Pharohe Monch.



JOSEPH GREER: Well that remains to be seen. Parsons and Anderson have been on a roll, back to back wins over Havok and Erickson followed up by what some called a surprise win over the Bastards.



TOMMY ONIONS: All I’m gonna say is you notice it wasn’t Frank Windsor that got pinned right?



Red and while crest is topped by skeletal wings and a banner running top and bottom that reads, “Greatness…is Taken”



JOSEPH GREER: Maybe not, but in the process The Inglorious Bastards have pinned two RSW World Heavyweight Champions in former Champion Dylan Erickson AND current RSW World Heavyweight Champion, Rob Riot!



Bursting through the curtains with a bravado of ten Parsons’, (and they say that the Parsons’ ego grew three sizes that day) Parsons pumps the crowd up before signalling for Anderson.



TOMMY ONIONS: Maybe not? If they’d have pinned Frank, maybe I’d believe you…but no win over Frank means no Virginia, I don’t believe in miracles tonight!



Stepping through the curtain comes Anderson as Parsons hypes the crowd one more time before giving his new partner a simple fist bump. Looking around the arena, Parsons points around at the screaming fans before looking straight down the camera.



CHRIS PARSONS: That’s right! AnarChristmas five fuckers! This is my house, our house!



Walking the ramp, Parsons and Anderson stop to get the numbers of any hot chick within the first couple rows of the aisle.



CHRIS PARSONS: After we win…after party! No husbands, no boyfriends!



Anderson shakes his head, but after Pittsburgh and many other similar incidents since, he understood. It was all part of the act. He enjoyed it, but it was all part of the show.



Reaching the ring, Parsons looks Shawna Savante up and down.



CHRIS PARSONS: Hey Shawna, give us a fast three now and I’ll give you a long ten later…what do ya say?



Unimpressed, Shawna simply shakes her head at the minority owner before checking both Parsons and Anderson for foreign objects.



JOSEPH GREER: Parsons getting fresh with senior official Shawna Savante there, he may not want to upset the referee Tommy.



TOMMY ONIONS: Bullshit, look at her…she’s playing it off but she likes it.



JOSEPH GREER: What makes you say that?



TOMMY ONIONS: She didn’t warn him not to do it again like she does when I do it…



Posing in opposite corners, flashes erupt around the arena as Anderson and Parsons pose for the fans and soldiers alike.



BOB MOONEY: And their opponents, Anthony “Knucks” Stevenson and Salem Shepard. They are the RSW tag team champions…..Filth Factory!



The Arena lights dim and flicker a few times as the word Filth Factory flickers on the Rio Tron Instead of it being blood dripping we see gold dripping from the letters down the screen and even dripping from Rio Tron to the ramp. Then the lights go down as two spotlights shine down on the ramp. 10 midget ladies dressed in very little Filth Factory black dresses with gold trim are on the ramp. They are kicking to a beat of music and they are kicking 3 feet high above their heads. They split down the middle and move to the side. 5 to the left and 5 to the right. The girls at the same time rip off their black and gold dresses. The girls are wearing gold thongs and pasties with gold tassels.



Oompa loompa doompety doo



We got da tag team champions



Oompa loompa doompety dee



If you are wise you’ll listen to me



What do you get when you Fuck with Filth Factory



Oompa loompa doompety da



Midgets, tons of them, all female, came out from behind the curtain wearing thong bikinis and had super soakers in hand, along with bloody body part necklaces. The female midgets lined both sides of the ramp as the song continued to play. They raised their super soakers high and stood still as two figures appeared from the top of the ramp.



A strobe light flickers a few times as “Filth Factory” by G-Mo Skee starts.



The midgets who weren’t terrorizing the fans with fake sperm and bloody body parts were twerking their little midget asses. Salem paused as they headed to the ring, from inside the mask he licked his lips as he stared at the short, fat legged gyrating midget booties.



Two charities are being pulled out by 12 midgets 6 on each side of each charity come out wearing horse heads and horse tail but plugs hang out of the thongs. These carts are gold and white, trimmed with red velvet interior. Red Filth Factory logos on the sides. Tag Champ belts are fitted on the front of each cart. Salem Face is painted like Normal and Knucks face is painted again like a skull but this time its White and Red paint making up a skull on his face. The two men are wearing black military pants cut off at the knees. They have on Black hoodies that say Filth Factory on it. A sexy midget rides with each feeding them grapes and giving them grapes.



Blood starts spraying from the super soakers and other oompa midgets continue playing with and tossing what looks to be real body parts dripping in blood, the arena goes dark as people scream as a huge saw blade starts going down the ramp slowly as a spotlight shines on it. A few bodies are laying on the ramp being held by the midgets. The blade hits the first body and you hear a woman scream as blood sprays on the crowd. The saw blade continues and cuts up the second body. The midgets drags the cut in half corpses. To the back, the lights turn back on. The duo is wearing black military shorts and black singlet tops that say Filth Factory. Fans are still trying to get the blood off of them.



TOMMY ONIONS: Disgusting. You think they would shake it up for Christmas or something.



JOSEPH GREER: You would think so. Looks like Marcus Anderson and Knucks are going to start the match off in the ring.



TOMMY ONIONS: Can Marcus even hang with the likes of Knucks in the ring?



JOSEPH GREER: He’s been on a roll of late with back to back wins. I think he’ll do alright.



Marcus and Knucks circle around each other warily in the center of the ring. Marcus feints a couple of grapple attempts that Knucks backs away from. Knucks does a couple of test swings that Marcus sidesteps.



Marcus catches a wrist, turning it into an armbar that he quickly converts into a chicken wing. Knucks responds with the other elbow to the side of Marcus’ head to get the move broken. He spins around to bring Marcus down with a clothesline! Knucks goes for a quick fist drop, but Marcus rolls out of the way. He rolls back to strike Knucks in the back of the neck with an elbow.



Knucks rolls away and to his feet, but Marcus catches him with a drop kick that sends Knucks back to his own corner where he tags in Salem Sheppard!



Salem steps into the ring sliding his hand across his face from top to bottom several times before giving Marcus a disturbing grin.



TOMMY ONIONS: I wonder if this is “other Salem” in the ring right now with Marcus. He’s a hoot!



JOSEPH GREER: He’s also a deranged lunatic.



TOMMY ONIONS: That seems to be par for the course around RSW.



JOSEPH GREER: That’s…not too far off of the mark.



Salem grabs Marcus by the shoulders and hits a knee lift to the gut before dropping him with a snap suplex. He quickly applies a side head lock to wear away at Marcus.



Marcus tries to get out of the hold, but resorts to a tactic once used by his father to break the hold!



JOSEPH GREER: Surprise finger in the butt!



TOMMY ONIONS: That’s just gross!



Salem releases Marcus, hopping away with both hands on his butt. Marcus backs up to his own corner, tagging Parsons in. Parsons hops over the top rope, bringing Salem down with a bulldog. He quickly goes for the cover, but Salem kicks out before the ref can get into position.



Parsons drills Salem with a right hand, jumps up, and flips Knucks off. Knucks looks angry, but doesn’t come into the ring. Parsons whips Salem into the corner, following up with a high impact avalanche. He mounts the turnbuckle, raining rights down onto Salem until Shawna begins to count him out. Parsons jumps back from the corner, watching with a grin as Salem manages to take two steps out of the corner before falling onto his face.



Parsons rolls Salem over, going for the pinfall.



One



Two



Thr-Knucks breaks the pinfall.



Shawna gets Knucks back into the corner while Parsons whips Salem into his own corner so that he can tag Marcus back in.



Marcus pulls Salem out of the corner into a slingshot suplex! Marcus quickly gets back to his feet, stomping on the downed Salem.



Marcus pulls Salem up, but gets dropped in a jawbreaker! Salem jumps up and tags in Knucks.



Knucks leaps into the ring, knocking Marcus back down with a big boot. Knucks flips Parsons the bird and applies a boston crab!



TOMMY ONIONS: This is some kind of new technical expertise from Anthony. He pick up a new trick someplace?



JOSEPH GREER: I heard that he had gone back to the gym to learn how to become the best wrestler that he can be.



TOMMY ONIONS: You mean that he went back to get the girl.



JOSEPH GREER: That’s possible too.



Marcus reaches for the ropes, but finds that they’re too far away. Parsons breaks up the hold with a kick, finding himself brawling with Salem. Marcus gets to his feet, brawling with Knucks.



Shawna steps in, ordering both Salem and Chris to return to their corners. Salem turns, hitting a stiff clothesline to Marcus on his way while Parsons kicks Knucks square in the nuts to send him to the mat!



JOSEPH GREER: They went to their proper corners, but not before inflicting some kind of harm on their opponents.



TOMMY ONIONS: I wouldn’t think of them doing anything less.



Marcus is up first, pulling Knucks to his feet, and hitting a fisherman’s suplex while bridging up for the cover!



One



Tw-Knucks kicks out.



Marcus pulls Knucks to his feet and whips him into the ropes. On the rebound, Marcus goes for a drop kick, but Knucks clings on to the ropes for Marcus to miss. Knucks hits an uppercut and then a codebreaker. Once on the ground, Knucks mounts Marcus, and begins slamming him in the head with his fists.



JOSEPH GREER: Knucks with the AKS!



TOMMY ONIONS: Looks like a successful defense to me.



Knucks goes for the pinfall!



One



Two



Thre-Parsons breaks the pinfall!



Shawna ushers Parsons back to the corner as Knucks tags in Salem.



Salem picks Marcus up into a suplex position and holds him there for a few seconds before jackhammering him to the mat. Knucks rushes around the ring to pick a fight with Parsons as Salem goes for the pinfall!



One



Two



Three!



BOB MOONEY: Winners of the match and STILL RSW Tag Team champions…the Filth Factory!



Salem rolls out of the ring as Parsons rolls in to check on Marcus. Outside of the ring, Salem and Knucks celebrate their win on their way to the back.



TOMMY ONIONS: Victory for the Filth Factory. Now if Erik Black can take the World title, Awoken will have total domination!



JOSEPH GREER: Not if Shane or Riot have anything to say about the topic.

[vastrix]

“Circus Apocalypse” by Vermillion Lies begins playing as Armand von Krauss walks out from the back to the booing of the fans. He regards the fans with a cold sneer before heading down to the ring.



TOMMY ONIONS: What? The boss is coming to the ring? He doesn’t do that too often anymore.



JOSEPH GREER: Armand knows that he doesn’t need to be front and central at all times.



Armand steps into the ring and lights himself an Egyptian cigarette, blowing a cloud of smoke into the air before speaking.



ARMAND VON KRAUSS: I just wanted to come down and make a clarification. Lilith. I didn’t understand the term “jobber” until I had one of the backstage trainers explain it to me. As I understand it, you had the Cowboy’s arm broken because you thought you were being disrespected. This was not the case here, but since you feel the need to be a respektlose kleine Kuh, I feel the need to take action. You will be opening for the next Anarchy and you will be facing a man much feared in this company. Marcus Anderson. This will be a no holds barred contest so he will get the chance to do what he wants to you.



The crowd boo even louder as they’re not fooled in the least.



JOSEPH GREER: Marcus Anderson? Feared? You’ve got to be kidding! He’s expecting Lilith to throw another tantrum and do something dastardly to Marcus!



TOMMY ONIONS: Anderson is being trained by Parsons. Maybe he can be feared by then?



JOSEPH GREER: I doubt it.



ARMAND VON KRAUSS: Be prepared for your second and final match, Lilith, as Marcus destroys you. Marcus, if you would like to avoid this match…you know what to do.



JOSEPH GREER: What? What does he know to do?



TOMMY ONIONS: I heard that Armand used to have Thomas Mills as a guest and that Marcus helped rescue him. Maybe he wants Thomas back?



“Circus Apocalypse” by Vermillion Lies begins as Armand makes his way to the back. He flicks his cigarette butt into the crowd on his way.



JOSEPH GREER: Marcus is doomed.



TOMMY ONIONS: Sure seems that way.