Champoon Wrasslin': World Tour (Kentucky, USA) 01/01/19
Jan 1, 2019 16:50:57 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Steele, and 4 more like this
Post by The King on Jan 1, 2019 16:50:57 GMT -5
Live from the ABODE Venue, Wichita, Kansas USA (Attendance: 300)
CW WORLD TAG TEAM
WAH Machine (C) vs Local Competitors
DING! DING! DING! The local competitors from Kentucky kicked off the bout by charging at Wario, who was tagged in first. Surprisingly they got a lot of offence in, making the tag team champs look more like the tag team chumps. Waluigi dived straight into the ring and threw fisticuffs at the two jobbers, using his long prowidness to overpower them. Eventually WAH Machine got it all covered and took the match back over, in the end they hit the 4D and pinned them for the win - only barely retaining their tag team titles. Way to go WAH Machine.
Postal Pat vs La Cabra Ultima
DING! DING! DING! The insane Postal Pat had immediately overwhelmed La Cabra Ultima with some vicious closed fist strikes. The referee tried intervening but thought better of it when Postal Pat threatened to fuck his kids. La Cabra Ultima continued to struggle with getting any offence in, there was just no stop for Postal Pat and his hate for all things living. The masked wrestler tried his best to outsmart Pat with some high-flying acrobatics but Pat was having none of his 'vanilla-midget' shit. He kicked him in the groin and hit him with the Special Delivery (Top rope burning hammer chained into another burning hammer preferably over the top rope). The match was won by stoppage.
After the match Postal Pat took to the mic to declare war on the Champoon roster. He was taking no prisoners and if anyone got in his way of delivering mail he'd burn their family legacy into ash. Then he called out the Extravaganzanental Champion, Fabiano, for costing him the title at the Jefe Wars: Christmas Special - he wanted a piece of Age of SeXtacy... And no, not the sexy kind.
Tigre Pequeno w/ Meme Boi vs X-Bonez
DING! DING! DING! The bell had rang and with the XHF Lickass Champion by his side Tigre Pequeno had taken the lead - he overpowered X-Bonez with some very vicious animal attacks, keeping him grounded and pouncing down on any opportunity for X to overcome. Eventually the fan-favorite gamer got his momentum back and started to fight with his own unique style, stomping on Tigre's head as though a Goomba or whatever the fuck those things from Mario are called. The match was very back and forth with the crowd enjoying every minute of it. Tigre was building steam and was looking to hit his finisher, the Tiger Fang, when Meme Boi distracted him by showing a brand new meme of his. X-Bonez grasped the open opportunity by the hand and hit the Hadouken, knocking Tigre down for the three. Meme Boi had cost his 'friend' another match-up.
CW EXTRAVAGANZANENTAL
Fabiano Fiddleiano (C) vs The Mongolian Giant
Before the match got started it was announced by Jefe that because we were in Kentucky this would be an 'Incest is Wincest' match. What that stipulation meant, we all dreaded to think. When asked what the rules were, Jefe declared that the winner would be the first wrestler to fuck their own biological cousin.
[The rest of the match is too graphic to be shown.]
Fabiano Fiddleiano had won after a street fight broke out and both men somehow made it to Mexico. What happened in Mexico, stays in Mexico.
Thinking about this now, this match was very unfair on the Mongolian Giant - after all his cousin lives all the way in Mongolia! Poor Mongolian Giant... okay im kidding... fuck the Mongo...
