Champoon Wrasslin': World Tour (Las Vegas, USA) 03/01/19
Jan 3, 2019 15:02:16 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Steele, and 2 more like this
Post by The King on Jan 3, 2019 15:02:16 GMT -5
Live from the ETA Lounge, Las Vegas, Nevada, USA (Attendance: 2,500)
Dylan Viper vs Sperm
I'm not wrestling you, said the Grinch. Sperm was very sad. :/
Robert the gay cowboy robot vs X-Bonez
DING! DING! DING! X-Bonez goes to attack the gay robot but he is imminently halted by some sexy circles. He shrugs it off though and nails Robert with a sickening headbutt. But it hurt him more. He dazes around the ring as Robert places the cowboy hat upon his head and jumps on his back, riding him like a rodeo. X-Bonez eventually shrugged it off and hit a devastating dropkick to the robot, knocking him into the corner of the ring. He charged at him for a corner elbow but Robert ducked and reversed the maneuver into having X-Bonez against the ring post. He tried his best at dry humping him but X-Bonez had none of it, shoving him away and hitting the Hadouken for the victory!
X-Bonez was confronted by the Jewish Connection, Jacob Jacobowitz and the Mongolian Giant, after the match - they thanked him for saving them from the Age of SeXtacy last show and promised to return the favor by looking out for his back. Jacobowitz then offered X-Bonez to join the Jewish Connection and become a disciple but X-Bonez wished to remain neutral. All three men headed to the back.
Las Vegas Battle Royal
Before the match started it was announced that the winner would face Fabiano Fiddleiano for the CW Extravaganzanental Championship next tour show. It was quite the lengthy battle royal, with faces such as Harry Nutter, Ultra Kira, La Cabra Ultima, Tigre Pequeno and Meme Boi showing up. In the end Postal Pat came away with the victory after eliminating Tigre, who was distracted once again by Meme Boi. The XHF Lickass Champion got the most eliminations throughout the match, but this was mainly because he was stealing Tigre's eliminations. Can Tigre just turn on him already? Postal Pat stayed in the ring after the final bell and demanded a microphone, tapping it with anger to make sure it works.
Pat warned the Age of SeXtacy, and more importantly Fabiano, that he was coming for that title. They pissed him off at the Christmas Special so he'll fucking kill them. As is the way with Natural Selection. More like 'Patural Selection', amirite? teehee. When asked if he was going to join the alliance of X-Bonez and the Jewish Connection, he responded with a definitive 'NO', opting to fight this war on his own. He also warned that if they are to cross his path, he will gladly kill them aswell.
CW WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS
WAH Machine (C) vs Big Drag
Before the match started Jefe came out with WAH Machine and put on a referee shirt, promising to officiate and call it down the middle. Which was utter bullshit. Big Drag came out to a thunderous pop and agreed that Jefe could be the referee, but on one condition, the tag team titles would be on the line! (Which was already stated) And if Big Drag won, he could decide when and where he wanted to face Jefe for the World Title! Jefe, being the stupid motherfucker that he is, agreed.
DING! DING! DING! The match started out with Drag and Wario in the ring, with Jefe calling ludicrous rules out whenever Drag would go for a maneuver, eventually, everyone's favorite golden giant was on his 1456th warning. Wario got fed up with being constantly body-slammed and tagged in his lankier more lean brother, Waluigi, who kept on kicking Drag and shouting 'WAH'. The match soon turned into a shouting fest. Waluigi would shout WAH, Drag would shout WAH, and Jefe would shout WAHNING! In a moment of distraction, Wario quick-pinned Drag despite not being the legal man. But Jefe, going back to his merits of calling it down the middle, did a slow count. When WAH Machine confronted him about it, he shrugged and showed them the referee shirt. Everyone was confused at Jefe, including Big Drag. Who's side was he actually on?! Surely it'd make sense for him to help his kliq buddies out in beating the man who could possibly be his next challenger, right?! But nothing makes sense in CW. So Jefe continued to call it down the middle. Then he kicked Drag in the balls, almost breaking his own foot in the process. The referee was down! And with the referee down the heel tag team champions did the cliche thing of using weapons on the unconquerable babyface, trying their best to cheat and win.
BUT Drag no sold the attack! Garnered his MASSIVE babyface comeback. Hit the Stone Cold Stunner on both men at the same time and pinned them. Then claimed Steve Austin was overrated, which despite being factually incorrect, gained a massive cheer from the Stone Cold Steve Austin fan-base. He picked them back up and delivered the dreaded something finally pinning them for the ONE! TWO! THREE!
But wait... Jefe was down... So who counted the pinfall?
The camera pans up to reveal Efej. Jefe's twin brother! He tips his hat to the giant golden man-thing and rolls out of the ring, everyone is confused, the bell rings. Big Drag is handed the CW World Tag Team Championships and the show comes to a sudden close. We'll see you tomorrow when the tour takes it's second stop in Mexico! Question is, was the pinfall legal or not? Find out... Tomorrow!