Champoon Wrasslin': World Tour (Tijuana, MEX) 04/01/19
Jan 4, 2019 14:19:27 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, ForeverKuroi, and 4 more like this
Post by The King on Jan 4, 2019 14:19:27 GMT -5
Live from the Real Inn, Tijuana, Mexico (Attendance: 106)
XHF LICKASS CHAMPIONSHIP
Meme Boi (C) vs "The Peeper" Harry Nutter
DING! DING! DING! Before the match started "The Peeper" Harry Nutter made sure to point out that he was indeed a former Lickass Champion, but Meme Boi didn't care. He called it 'gay' because it's a very memey term to use, and proceeded to beat down Nutter with some technical offence. Nutter seemingly enjoyed it. Tigre Pequeno, Meme Boi's tiger mate, was at ringside and throughout the whole match looked as though he was up to something. In the end, after a quick back and forth exchange, Meme Boi retained the title with the GET MEME'D SON! (Package Piledriver).
Tigre Pequeno got into the ring with Meme Boi and raised his arm, everyone was waiting for him to turn... AND HE DID! He hit the Tiger Fang (Cradle DDT) and pinned Meme Boi for the 24/7 XHF Lickass title belt. Finally, Tigre Pequeno did it and turned on his only friend... BUT THEN! Tigre unmasked and revealed he wasn't actually Tigre all along but SPERM in a mask! Sperm is the XHF Lickass Champion!
Jacob Jacobowitz vs Antonio 'Two Dicks' Tagliatelle
DING! DING! DING! It was one half of the Jewish Connection taking on one half of Age of SeXtacy, as the Jewish Juggernaut battled the man with Two Dicks to his name. The match started off slow and methodical, with Two Dicks using his quick and nimble style of wrestling to wear the Juggernaut down. X-Bonez came to ringside and joined the Mongolian Giant, the other half of the Jewish Connection, and sat quietly watching the bout. After a while Jacobowitz started to pick up momentum and battled back with some stiff clotheslines. Both men were going full throttle as to beat the other one down, after all this was revenge from the beatdown the Jews got from AoSeX a few shows ago. In the end, Jacobowitz hit the Jacobowitz Hammer and pinned Antonio for the dub.
After the bout X-Bonez got into the ring and CHALLENGED Jacobowitz! He liked what he saw and wanted a piece of the action. Jacobowitz accepted and promised to enlighten the gamer.
CONTRACT SIGNING
Jefe and Big Drag
The CW World Heavyweight Champion and the most hated man in all of wrestling, Jefe, comes out with WAH Machine by his side. He wears a neck brace from an injury sustained to his ankle in last show's main event. He demands a microphone and starts to ramble, but no-one can understand him. Eventually, WAH Machine get onto the mic and start to claim that because Jefe's twin brother, Efej, counted the pinfall last night... The victory doesn't count! Jefe nods his head and it's announced that Big Drag is stripped of his CW World Tag Team Championship and your NEW two time champions are WAH Machine. The crowd booed loudly.
Just when all looked bleak, out charges Big Drag, who entered the ring to a THUNDEROUS pop. He got up into the face of both WAH Machine and Jefe and threatened to take all three of them on... Right there! Right... NOW! (I hate writing in past tense). Jefe backed out and insisted that that wouldn't be necessary. But Drag was having none of it, he claimed that because he's made out of gold, and they were taking gold away from him, then they were basically taking away Drag's children. AND YOU DO NOT TAKE AWAY DRAG'S CHILDREN. He proceeded to drop WAH Machine with a wrestling maneuver, then rolled out of the ring and grabbed a fleeing Jefe by the collar. Jefe pleaded with him to let him go but Drag was super furious and was threatening to kidnap Jefe's child as a replacement. This, of course, got pop of the night. Jefe, fearing for the worst, promised Drag that he could still have his title shot whenever he pleased! ...AND a rematch for the tag team titles somewhere down the line! Drag finally let him go, and paused to sign autographs with the fans.
CW EXTRAVAGANZANENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP
Fabiano Fiddleiano (C) vs Postal Pat
The audience wondered, what in the jefe hell would the stipulation be this time. That's when it was announced the match would be an inaugeral tequila-tapout match! The rules stated that, every five minutes, each wrestler must down a shot of tequila and the first to tap-out (in this regard 'pass-out', be sick or die) would be the loser. And so it was on.
DING! DING! DING! The first shots were taken and both men stormed it like a boss, neither was affected. Pat charged at the Extravaganzanental Champion and knocked him off of his feet, beating him down with some hellacious punches, he promised to kill his family... but Fabiano had already done that. After five minutes of brawling it was time for their second shot. Both men were still not affected. More brawling. More shots. More brawling. More shots. It affected neither man, they were already dead inside, or in Pat's case, extremely drunk already. After about 45 minutes of pure brawling and drinking (and a total of nine shots), Pat finally gave way and threw up all over the ring. Fabiano had been deemed the winner, retaining the Extravaganzanental Championship in the process. He did not look affected by the shots and was still able to walk on his feet, although he struggles normally so a few bits of stumbling here and there didn't really change much.
