Champoon Wrasslin': World Tour (Trinidad, URG) 10/01/19
Jan 10, 2019 12:14:44 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Steele, and 3 more like this
Post by The King on Jan 10, 2019 12:14:44 GMT -5
Live from the some place, Trinidad, Uruguay (Attendance: 12)
Out of all the places in South America, including the likes of Chile and Argentina... We chose to come to Uruguay... To perform in-front of 12 local farmers...
XHF LICKASS CHAMPIONSHIP
Sperm (C) vs Meme Boi
Sperm ran out of the ring and into the crowd, but then there was no crowd. Tigre Pequeno jumped out from behind a cow and chased Sperm back into the ring, where Meme Boi hit the GET MEME'D SON! (Package Piledriver) and gathered back the Lickass title, becoming a two time champion. Tigre began stalking the cow and eventually ate it. The farmers were non too pleased.
CW WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS
WAH Machine (C) vs Local Competitors
The Local Competitors came to the ring draped in USA flags. They tried starting a USA chant, but the Uruguayan farmers were having none of it. The match started at a very slow pace with the local competitors getting quite a lot of offence in, with comeback spots here and there... No one gave a fuck. WAH Machine were getting obnoxiously annoyed at the dead silent crowd reaction, they began sandbagging their opponents to the point where Wario almost broke one of their necks. In the end both men grabbed their titles, left the ring, got counted out and were never seen again on Uruguayan soil. Damn you Uruguay, ya greedy bastards.
Jacob Jacobowitz vs X-Bonez
DING! DING! DING! The only proper match of the night saw X-Bone square off with ally, Jacob Jacobowitz. The two started with a friendly game of poke-your-opponents-fucking-eye-out. The Mongolian Giant wasn't at ringside as he was... elsewhere. (Looking at you, main event.). Jacobowitz showed his superior prowess when it came to power, whilst X-Bonez showcased his more aptly suited high-flying and technical maneuvers. In the end, after a long exchange of wrestling, the Age of SeXtacy came out and ordered their gimps to beat both men down. This caused a double DQ and ended, what was looking to be, the most serious match on the card.
CW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
Jefe (C) vs The Uruguayan Giant
No, not the Mongolian Giant... the Uruguayan Giant. Is it the same guy just under a different guise? That's up to your own interpretation. The match started slow with Jefe out-running the 7' 549 lbs giant, being only 5'8" and 185 lbs in stature. Eventually the Giant wore down and Jefe seized advantage, kicking him with some stiff shots in the balls. The farmers still no-showed being an audience, and even with Jefe's attempt at getting heat, they still couldn't give two fucks. In the end Jefe called the match off and declared that he had won by stoppage, retaining his title in the process.
Big Drag came out and the Uruguayan farmers POPPED brother! They threw their rakes to the ground and fell to their knees, almost praying to the god-like-being. He got on a mic and they started shouting "THIRZ IZ ARESOOM!". He proceeded to cut a promo on Jefe which got a massive reaction from the 12 attendees. Then he cut a promo about the X*Crown and being CW's representative for the match. Morale of the story... BIG DRAG IS FUCKING OVER BROTHA.
Jefe better be shitting himself, because when Drag comes for that belt, there'll be no stopping him.