Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Jan 18, 2019 0:30:54 GMT -5
*The darkness is pierced by a hearty cackle. Out of black clouds comes the one and only REAL Lord Dominicus. Not that other Lord Dominicus that sometimes shows up at another company that we don’t talk about for legal reasons but for like a month we were able to but that was last year- bro. Dominicus is sporting the EWF Superior Championship as he approaches the camera.*
LD: BAHAHAHAHAHA! You fools! You thought you were rid of Lord Dominicus, THE REAL LORD DOMINICUS! You thought you had me strapped to some toerag and his hellion of a mother. But you all forgot, YOU FORGOT THE REAL TRUTH!
*Dominicus holds up his Championship belt and holds it at the camera.*
LD: You forgot that I, Lord Dominicus- the dark lord of all evil and darkness- am the EWF Superior Championship- their world championship as confirmed by their former champions. But I rose above all of them in a BRUTAL tournament OF DEATH (though not death matches, I’m legally obligated to not misrepresent them in that way)! And in the finals I beat their former million or something time champion to be proclaimed the FINAL EWF SUPERIOR CHAMPION!
*He holds the belt high above his head, soaking in the crowd cheers that aren’t there because he’s clearly just shooting a promo indoors in front of a black sheet with a fog machine (that’s starting to die down).*
LD: But this year at Supremacy we have for the X*Crown Championship some silly match called a “Bull-Nanza Battle Royale.” I haven’t read the specifics of it, but it sounds easy enough to THROW ALL OF YOU OVER THE TOP RO- what?
*This promo just came to a crashing halt.*
LD: Why are you shaking your head? It’s a Battle Royal, that means over the top- no? So what, is it like pinning or something? Oh. Yeah, ok, whatever.
*He clears his throat*
LD: As I was saying, It sounds easy enough to PIN YOU ALL TO THE GROUND AND LET YOU FEEL MY WARM HOT BODY ALL OVER YOURS WHILE YOU SUBMIT TO MY WILL LIKE THE PEONS THAT YOU ARE. Because…
*He holds the EWF Superior Championship toward the camera again.*
LD: I’m cashing in! That’s right, losers! I, Lord Dominicus, THE MASTER OF THE DARK ARTS OF EVIL, am going to add my prestigious title to the mix in order to get a shot at whoever the X*Crown Champion is- probably that Wellington Dunne scrub or the naked cockroach lady since they’re on TV anyway-
*LD scratches his head through his mask*
LD: So….is she gonna wrestle naked too? Because that’d put her at an advantage- I mean, who wants to touch bugs, right? Plus it’d be awkward I’d think. Anyway, I SHALL BECOME X*CROWN CHA- What is it? Why do you keep making an X-sign? I know it’s for the X*Crown Championship you absolute peon behind the camera.
*There’s an off-camera sigh heard.*
Cameraman: Ugh, it’s not for the X*Crown, it’s just a fed warfare match.
LD: Oh. Wrong match?
Cameraman: Wrong match.
LD: Easily solved, I’M CASHING IN ON THE REAL X*CROWN MATCH!
Cameraman: Ummmm, you’re already booked as AWF’s representative in the Bull-Nanza Battle Royale.
LD: AW- oh come on. Really? So I’d be double booked trying to get into the match?
Cameraman: Yes.
LD: Ugh, fine. YOU HAVE BEEN SPARED, X*CROWN SERF! But only for now! But just you wait! The Rumble is coming and I have a title I can cash in! ….what? Why are you shaking your head? I really think you have an attitude problem.
*Annoyed, Lord Dominicus re-straps the belt to his waiste.*
LD: Well, BULL-NANZA REJECTS! It looks like my gold is off the table; instead I shall replace it with UNMITIGATED BEATINGS! THE LIKES YOU’VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE! DARK! DEEP! EEEEEEEVIL!
*His arms go akimbo on his sides.*
LD: I am Lord Dominicus, the REAL Lord Dominicus! And soon all will bow to my whims as I conquer the XHF Network! MUHUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
*The laughs fade out- like Dominicus intentionally lowers his voice. The camera does fade though and soon there’s a tug on his cape. He looks down.*
LD: What do you want, non-villainous urchin!?
Child: Can Johnny come over for a play date?
LD: No, Johnny is annoying and has cooties.
Child: What’s coobies, Unkie Dominicat?
LD: It’s whatever convenient disease I choose based on people I don’t like.
Child: What?
LD: Nothing….ugh…fine, Johnny can come.
Child: Yay! Play date!
*We hear the child run off, Dominicus yells after him.*
LD: And stop calling it a play date! Call it like a strategic world destroying meeting or something!
*He sighs and the camera fades out*
LD: BAHAHAHAHAHA! You fools! You thought you were rid of Lord Dominicus, THE REAL LORD DOMINICUS! You thought you had me strapped to some toerag and his hellion of a mother. But you all forgot, YOU FORGOT THE REAL TRUTH!
*Dominicus holds up his Championship belt and holds it at the camera.*
LD: You forgot that I, Lord Dominicus- the dark lord of all evil and darkness- am the EWF Superior Championship- their world championship as confirmed by their former champions. But I rose above all of them in a BRUTAL tournament OF DEATH (though not death matches, I’m legally obligated to not misrepresent them in that way)! And in the finals I beat their former million or something time champion to be proclaimed the FINAL EWF SUPERIOR CHAMPION!
*He holds the belt high above his head, soaking in the crowd cheers that aren’t there because he’s clearly just shooting a promo indoors in front of a black sheet with a fog machine (that’s starting to die down).*
LD: But this year at Supremacy we have for the X*Crown Championship some silly match called a “Bull-Nanza Battle Royale.” I haven’t read the specifics of it, but it sounds easy enough to THROW ALL OF YOU OVER THE TOP RO- what?
*This promo just came to a crashing halt.*
LD: Why are you shaking your head? It’s a Battle Royal, that means over the top- no? So what, is it like pinning or something? Oh. Yeah, ok, whatever.
*He clears his throat*
LD: As I was saying, It sounds easy enough to PIN YOU ALL TO THE GROUND AND LET YOU FEEL MY WARM HOT BODY ALL OVER YOURS WHILE YOU SUBMIT TO MY WILL LIKE THE PEONS THAT YOU ARE. Because…
*He holds the EWF Superior Championship toward the camera again.*
LD: I’m cashing in! That’s right, losers! I, Lord Dominicus, THE MASTER OF THE DARK ARTS OF EVIL, am going to add my prestigious title to the mix in order to get a shot at whoever the X*Crown Champion is- probably that Wellington Dunne scrub or the naked cockroach lady since they’re on TV anyway-
*LD scratches his head through his mask*
LD: So….is she gonna wrestle naked too? Because that’d put her at an advantage- I mean, who wants to touch bugs, right? Plus it’d be awkward I’d think. Anyway, I SHALL BECOME X*CROWN CHA- What is it? Why do you keep making an X-sign? I know it’s for the X*Crown Championship you absolute peon behind the camera.
*There’s an off-camera sigh heard.*
Cameraman: Ugh, it’s not for the X*Crown, it’s just a fed warfare match.
LD: Oh. Wrong match?
Cameraman: Wrong match.
LD: Easily solved, I’M CASHING IN ON THE REAL X*CROWN MATCH!
Cameraman: Ummmm, you’re already booked as AWF’s representative in the Bull-Nanza Battle Royale.
LD: AW- oh come on. Really? So I’d be double booked trying to get into the match?
Cameraman: Yes.
LD: Ugh, fine. YOU HAVE BEEN SPARED, X*CROWN SERF! But only for now! But just you wait! The Rumble is coming and I have a title I can cash in! ….what? Why are you shaking your head? I really think you have an attitude problem.
*Annoyed, Lord Dominicus re-straps the belt to his waiste.*
LD: Well, BULL-NANZA REJECTS! It looks like my gold is off the table; instead I shall replace it with UNMITIGATED BEATINGS! THE LIKES YOU’VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE! DARK! DEEP! EEEEEEEVIL!
*His arms go akimbo on his sides.*
LD: I am Lord Dominicus, the REAL Lord Dominicus! And soon all will bow to my whims as I conquer the XHF Network! MUHUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
*The laughs fade out- like Dominicus intentionally lowers his voice. The camera does fade though and soon there’s a tug on his cape. He looks down.*
LD: What do you want, non-villainous urchin!?
Child: Can Johnny come over for a play date?
LD: No, Johnny is annoying and has cooties.
Child: What’s coobies, Unkie Dominicat?
LD: It’s whatever convenient disease I choose based on people I don’t like.
Child: What?
LD: Nothing….ugh…fine, Johnny can come.
Child: Yay! Play date!
*We hear the child run off, Dominicus yells after him.*
LD: And stop calling it a play date! Call it like a strategic world destroying meeting or something!
*He sighs and the camera fades out*
