A Filthy Finale (Salem RP #5 - Filth Factory)

[Jaymz]

**Pittsburgh, Pitt. Hotel**

(Pre-RSW Tag Title match)



Salem stepped out of the hotel shower with the pillowcase still on his head. Do you know how hard it is to shower with a pillowcase and try to not get it wet!? Well, he had become a professional at it!! Salem tied the towel around his waist as he hummed “Today” by the Smashing Pumpkins. He seemed extra happy, which was different, as he put on deodorant and cologne.



“She’ll like this..” Salem said to himself as he wiped off the mirror to get a better view of his sexy upper body. He was chiseled and built like a Greek God only with a few tattoos and the word “Salem” that was etched in his chest. Salem lowered the towel around his waist giving just enough of a view to his pubic region where he had just freshly manscaped. There was a giant “L” trimmed into his pubes. He nodded with satisfaction beneath the pillowcase and pulled the towel back up and grabbed his clothes. ….But a knock came at the door. Salem moved soo damn fast he nearly slipped on the bathroom floor trying to get out. He removed his towel and--



**BEEP*** !!!! FILTH ALERT !!! ***BEEP**



….Salem went over to the door throwing it wide open. A black “FF” logo censoring out his butt cheeks.



“AHH!!! WHAT THE FUCK!?” It was Knucks and he felt blinded by the horrifying sight of Salem's junk! There was also another man standing next to him who was even more disgusted than Knucks.



Salem jumped back, “Woah!!! You’re not Lilith!!..HA!” He was completely ashamed and grabbed the towel off the floor and covered his junk as quickly as possible.



Knucks walked into the room, “Wait….was that an ‘L’ in your fuckin pubes!? ...Please tell me that doesn't mean what I think it does…”



“Yup.” Salem couldn't lie, he knew he was busted. “It stands for Lilith.”



“I….think I’m about to barf….” Knucks placed his hand on his stomach and introduced his friend, “This is Dr. Pheltzersnatch.”



The Doctor extended his hand out to Salem, who was still holding the towel around his waist. The handshake was extremely awkward and Salem took a step back as the Doc spoke, “I heard you had a melted face? I’d like to take a look, I’m sure I can help.”





“I um, ...Im gonna get my clothes on first.” Salem seemed hesitant. He wasn't sure if this doctor was going to laugh at him like the other and just take him for a fucking joke. He went back into the bathroom and put on his clothes, ready to be disappointed. He also texted Lilith and told her to hold off on showing up for the moment….

******** 

“Ok, have a seat here and remove that pillowcase for me.”



Salem sat in the chair, his shaky hands started to lift the pillowcase for the Doc and a thousand thoughts ran through his mind. Was Knucks going to run? Would the Dr laugh? Can he even be fixed at all!? Would Lilith still be obsessed with him like this? He was extremely nervous as he lifted the pillowcase off his head. Knucks was interested to see what he looked like after a week in a pillowcase. To him, it was like opening a birthday present and his excitement to see Salem's face was off the fuckin charts!! Salem finally pulled the pillowcase off and Knucks felt like he hit the jackpot!! Salem’s face was a total wreck. His hair was matted to his head and needed to be repainted, what was left of his face paint was a dirty mess and the stubble on his face broke through it. He hadn’t brushed his teeth in a week and his breathe was beyond funky. He looked like a hobo, but worse.



Neither the doctor or Knucks said a word for a moment and Salem panicked, “What!? It’s worse isn't it!? ...Do I have maggots?? ...because I think I feel maggots moving in my face lately!!”



“No, no, no…” Dr. Pheltzersnatch took a knee and held on to Salem's arm. He looked over Salem's face very intently scanning every inch, “yeah….I can fix you right now, Mr. Shepard!”



“YOU CAN!?” Salem almost leapt up from the chair but he hugged the Doc instead, “YOU CAN MAKE ME A REALLL BOY!!”



Dr. Pheltzersnatch winked at Knucks while he was in the embrace of a schizo, “Ok, Salem...I need you to lay on the bed, and we’ll get to work, ok!?”



He didn't have to ask twice, Salem moved faster than he ever had in his life. Dr. Pheltzersnatch went through a few things in his bag and started to worry. He motioned for Knucks and quietly spoke to him, “how are we gonna do this!? He just needs to be cleaned up!”



Knucks glanced over to Salem then back to the Doc, “Then I guess you're washing his hair and shaving his face. ...Just roll with the plan.”



Dr. Pheltzersnatch was pretty nervous as he walked over to Salem who had a huge grin on his face. “First, I need you to put on this blindfold. You DO NOT want to see this as we go along, ok?”



He pulled out a blindfold and Salem didn't think twice about it; he pulled it from the doctors hands and quickly put it on his face. “Ok, lets go!! I'm ready!!”



Dr. Pheltzersnatch gave Knucks and odd look but Knucks motioned for him to move along, “Ok Salem….There's going to be several phases to this. We’ll have to replace your skin with new skin, were gonna have to shave the stubble off, and we’ll have to dunk you in water and you’ll be good as new!!”



“Ok, awesome!! Lets go!! Oh uh, ...you have to paint my face...I don't want to see that ugly Kyle fucker.”



The doctor nodded, “Yes...I saw that coming…” He reached into his bag and pulled out a package of sandwich meat. One by one he laid the slices on Salem's face. “This is the new skin. I’ll work it in place and that’ll help keep your face formed.”



This made no logical sense at all. Even if his face was melted, new skin wouldn't just magically fix it!! But this thinking never crossed his crazy mind. His face was getting fixed!!!! Dr. Pheltzersnatch more or less massaged his face with the sandwich meat; but in Salem's mind he could feel the Docs fingers inside his skull, pulling his eye back into its socket, repairing torn muscles and tendons all around his jaw and pulling away the old melted skin around his neck. This man was a fucking miracle worker!!!



Knucks kicked back in the chair with his feet up on the table. He told Dr. Pheltzersnatch to take his time and make this look legit. He opened one of the many unopened beer cans Salem had in the hotel and relaxed...It was quiet without all the girls around. “Hey Salem….Let play a game. You can still talk. Its call over/under. You give me a subject and I’ll tell you if it’s overrated or underrated.”



“Alright….Ummm...uuuhhh. This is hard…”



Knucks laughed, “No it's really not!! Just say something!!”



“Saggy tittes!!”



“Saggy titties?” Knucks nodded and thought about it, “Underrated. Think about this. Everyone says saggy tittes are gross, but I bet they can keep you warm when it's cold out. Let's say you're on one of those horse-carriage rides downtown and it's cold; you can just whip one of those bad boys out and wrap it around you like a scarf! You could even fold it up and use it as a pillow when you lay together….You could use them as some kinky sex swing or shove one of those wrinkly things in her mouth for fun when you’re banging her….Lots of good uses for saggy tittes…”



“Alright, give me somethin!!” Salem seemed more fired up about this side of the game.



Knucks thought about it for a second, “...having our match on a cruise ship.”



“Bro!! That shits underrated as fuck!! That's about the only reason I wanted to do this match with them in the first place! I've never been on a cruise ship; I imagine there's going to be tons of hotties there, ...Salem dick pieces for them all!!”



Knucks finished off the beer and reached for another, “Yeah, I’ve never been on one either. I dunno if this is like a cruise ship though - its a barge, I think….Whatever the fuck that is? All I know is we’ll be on the open sea and in a wrestling ring….it’s gonna be the shit!!”



Salem laid there with the blindfold on, still excited about getting his face back. “Uuuummmm, Chaos!”



“That shitty wrestler!?...Over. Fucking. Rated. Man, were getting so close to the match there's just not much to say anymore. I don't even know why he's running this mouth at this point, and it just blows my mind that these guys don't...fucking….get it. People LOVE what we do!!! Yeah, Chaos, people like to know what we eat. I put my snacks on social media and that shit almost goes viral. If I put a pic of ass crack on there, it would also go viral and people would LOVE it!! ...Does he not understand!?’



Salem gestured with his hands that he had no idea, “And yeah, people do wanna see my dick but I just can't show it to them. Yes, the world cares about our personal life!!! They love it when we go live on social media!! They love to see what we're doing 24 hours a day!! I thought Chaos would have figured that out, as least!! Were the hottest thing going!! Hey, we can't help if his merch sales are just middle road, we can't help it that he's hungover and not putting out the work for the fans like we are!! What Chaos meant to say was: Nobody cares about his life. Nobody cares about what's going on with his career. If he wants to put paint on and mock us, at least do a good job of it. As everyone can see, we don't just slap the shit on - we take pride in EVERYTHING Filth Factory!! ...Does Chaos take pride in anything?....”



Knucks shrugged but he didn't really care if Chaos took pride in anything. That wasn't any of his concern. “He's not a real smart guy but we already knew that. He's confused on why NBC is a thing of the past, he's under the impression that we don't know our history!! Here's a history lesson: it's a new era and Filth Factory is here now!! That means NBC is a thing of the past! Its over, you’re done!! You two may have been the hottest thing going but all that comes to a sudden stop in just a few short days when you get beat by guys you mocked as clowns, juggalos and whatever else. You’ll have to walk around backstage with your head down avoiding contact with anyone who crosses your path because that would be pretty goddamn shameful to lose to a pair of juggalos, wouldn't it? The best part of beating those two will be watching them walk off knowing their peers are about to make their lives a living hell after all the shit they talked. …..Bro, I got one!!”



Knucks laughed before he gave his topic, “ok homie….Donald fuckin Trump.”



“Ooohhhh…THE MAN!!!” Salme yelled out as Dr. Pheltzersnatch cringed as he worked on Salems face. He hated Trump. “I think he's underrated!!! Guys a total boss and Mexico’s gonna pay for that fuckin wall!!!! You know them illegal Mexicans come here and don't flush their shit paper, right?”



Knucks almost spit out his beer, “What!?”



“Yeah, no shit.” Salem continued, “Real talk, bro. Seriously, they wipe their asses and throw the shit paper in a trash can!! ...A TRASH CAN!!!! You put your shit paper in a TRASH CAN!?!?!? Thats fuckin gross. I’ve seen it man, I used to work with some illegals and these mother fuckers flush their giant burrito logs down the toilet…..but not the paper? I mean, does that make any sense to you?”



Knucks was disgusted, “No, it makes no sense at all. TP falls apart when its wet, it's not like a paper towel…”



“I know!!” Salem continued, “Its nasty as fuck!! ….Let him build the wall and keep the trash poopers on their side. I mean, we like Filth and all….but putting your poo paper in a trashcan? ..uughhh, I think that's even too nasty for us.”



Knucks agreed as Salem gave him the next topic, “Alright bro….a piss boner.”



“A what!?....a piss boner...I know what you’re talking about but I didn't know it had a real name. ...Man, that shits overrated. One time a few years ago I was with this girl and I slept over at her house...Well, I woke up in the morning with the biggest stiffy you've ever seen!! So I woke her up and thought about going down on her, but have you ever smelled a cooter first thing in the morning? Holy shit homie, its rough. It made my eyes water. So I decided that I couldn't eat breakfast and I would just bang that shit out instead. So that’s what I did, and she always liked it when I finished on her tits...So I pulled out, and uuhhh, ...uuuhhh...I pissed all over her. And you know, once you start pissing you can’t stop. She freaked out and jumped out of the bed and I tried to make it to the toilet but I had already finished by that point. Needless to say, she didn't want me to come back after that….



Dr. Pheltzersnatch was almost done with Salems face. He was in the process of shaving him and all he needed to do was reapply Salem's paint.



“Grape blunt wraps.” Salem shouted out.



“Hhmmm” Knucks thought this over, “Overrated. First of all, that shit is nasty. It doesn't taste like grape because anything ‘grape flavored’ never taste like grape...at all!!! And the blunt wraps are no exception. Plus, it's just a waste of weed. Like, you’re super high after the first half of the blunt, the rest is just a waste. Bowls are where it's at.”



The two members of Filth Factory played a few more rounds of under/over as Dr. Pheltzersnatch finished up the face paint and handed Salem a mirror. He wasn't pleased that his hair was a fucking mess but he was pleasantly surprised to see that his face was completely fixed!! Dr. Pheltzersnatch grinned at Salem, hoping the schizo was pleased with his work and wouldn't attack him like Knucks had warned. Salem jumped up from the bed and Dr. Pheltzersnatch took a step back in fear, but Salem reached out to him and gave him a hug, picking the Doc up off his feet and spinning him around still with that huge grin on his face.



“You did it!!” Salem cried, “You saved my life!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! Lilith will love me again!!!!!”



Knucks shook his head and rolled his eyes, “oh Jesus….”

*******

**Boulder, Colorado**

(Post-RSW Tag Team match)



The sun was out and there wasn't a cloud in the sky as Salem and Knucks handed their luggage off to the men loading their private jet. Salem had his face painted, of course, but Knucks hadn't joined in the fun just yet. Each one of them had their respective RSW Tag Team Championship belts over their shoulders. Knucks started to board the plane as a car came to a screeching halt at the private landing strip. Knucks stopped and looked back at the car, as did Salem. A female jumped out of the car and started to make a mad dash for the plane.



“No!!” Knucks started to panic, “Holy fuck, tell Candy I’m not here!!!”



As the woman came closer to the plane Salem noticed something, “Bro….Thats not Candy. Who Is that?....Wait!!! Is that---”



“Lilith..” Knucks finished the last line for him as Lilith ran up to the plane. “Bro, get the fuck on the plane!! We gotta keep her out!! She CANNOT come with us!! ...How the fuck did she get here!?!?”



Salem didn't seem to hear it as he ran up to Lilith and embraced her in a hug. She placed her arms over his shoulders and he wrapped his around the small of her back and felt her butt cheeks. He liked Lilith's butt cheeks.



Their faces were inches apart as Lilith spoke, “Magical Kitty, are you leaving me!?”



“No...never...I’ll be back in a few days, and when I do….You and me? Were getting alone time.”



Lilith pulled him tighter, “But but but Magical Kittyyyyyyyy you should be spending time with me right meow! Urghhhh Knuckles Bear! Yucky! Every bear knows I am MUCH better than smelly Knuckles bear! Much better for you too if you knows what I mean.”



Lilith winked slyly at Salem.



“I can't. We have our match with Duke and one of the five-hundred guys named Chaos. I’m still not even sure which Chaos Im facing, to be honest! HA!”



Lilith gave him sad puppy dog eyes, “I wanna go….”



“You can’t babe. This isn't just a regular show, this shit is on a cruise ship!!”



Lilith pulled away from him and anger filled her face, “Wait… you and Knuckles are going on a cruise and you didn’t invite me??? Magical Kitty that isn’t nice at all! Wait… that stupid whore face Mindy bear isn’t going with you is she!?!? IS SHE ON THE PLANE!!???”



Salem was shocked, he didn't expect this from Lilith, “What!? NO!! Lilith, I promise. It's only Knucks and I. Like I said, we're only gonna be gone a few days!”



Lilith still looked disappointed and glared at Knucks, “You better be nice to him and return him super safe and stuffs Knuckles bear! If I even hear of you going grrrrr on Magical Kitty even ONE time imma go DOUBLE grrrrrr on you when you gets home!!!”



Knucks walked back down the plane steps and grabbed Salem by his shirt right before he tried to kiss Lilith. Salem protested but Knucks didn't let go and dragged him up the plane ramp.



Salem shouted back, “I’ll be back!!! I promise!!! And were coming back with a win!!!” The attendant closed the door and Filth Factory was off for their battle versus Duke and Chaos.



The two men too their seats and before long they were in the air, and Knucks was passed smooth out. Salem looked around the quiet private jet, “Hhhmmm...I guess the RSW really wants us to win since they loaned us this plane to fly in and all... But, ya know, were not doing this for the RSW. Sure, those higher ups REALLY want us to win so they can promote the shit out their company, ...I get it. But we deserve this private plane, because, in case you’ve been living in a cave and don't know, Knucks and I won Tag Team of the year!!!



We won that Award in the same show that we successfully defended our Tag belts against the two best the RSW has to offer; the two guys that hold every singles Title in the RSW….Knucks and I took Mitchell and Collins down to the surprise of NOBODY!!!! I hope Duke and Chaos have been watching, I was going to get them front row seats but it completely escaped my mind; but I know they were watching us perform in what people consider the best match in the RSW in quite some time.



I hope they realized that there is no tag team like Filth Factory, there is no tag team that has the same cohesion that Knucks and I have….There's no tag team that works as well together as Filth Factory. We've turned this place upside down and it only took us a few short months to establish our dominance, win the tag gold and win an award as well!! At this point were just an unstoppable force!! I’m still undefeated, and more importantly, so is Filth Factory….And it’s going to stay that way, at least for one more week. Duke and Chaos should feel privileged to be in a match with Filth Factory at this point, because even when they lose it’ll have brought attention to their dying careers. They can say they went toe to toe with the best in the business, they battled the the fastest rising stars in professional wrestling!! Its something Vlady can tell his grandkids about, ….if he doesn't have any already….The sand in the hourglass is about to run out, and when it does, ….another Filth Factory victory.



Salem smiled a huge grin as he relaxed in the plane seat next to Knucks and put his headphones in….